Massage 5

While waiting for our university acceptance letters, we spent almost every day together, browsing bookstores, going to internet cafes, and buying trinkets. Back then, a single date cost less than 20 yuan.
After the acceptance letters arrived, it was time for various classmate reunions, and we attended them all as a couple.
That summer was beautiful yet fleeting; before we knew it, it was September, and we were both going to university.
That summer, we had our first time holding hands, our first kiss, our first caress—so many firsts.
But we never took that most mysterious step between lovers. I was always impatient, but I was always rejected.
Sometimes I would throw a little tantrum, but within half a day, I would still be clinging to her.
Finally, the day came to do "that first thing."
It was a day at the end of August. Her university was in Beijing, and at that time, transportation was mainly by car and train. She needed to travel from Huai'an to Xuzhou by car, and then take a train from Xuzhou to Beijing. My university was in Nanjing, so transportation was convenient, and I wasn't in a hurry. I promised to take her to Xuzhou.
On the bus to Xuzhou, we huddled together, oblivious to the heat, feeling that even being close wasn't enough.
She didn't want to leave me, and I didn't want to leave her.
After arriving in Xuzhou, we rushed to buy tickets, but despite our best efforts, we couldn't get tickets for that day. Luckily, we managed to get tickets for a train departing at 3 AM. At the time, we didn't know about fare evasion on trains, or the option to board first and buy tickets later. We found a place to eat something, and then I accompanied her to a supermarket to buy some snacks. We shopped and shopped until our feet ached, but there was still a long time before departure. She asked me to buy a ticket back to Huai'an, saying she would wait alone. I couldn't bear to leave her waiting alone until nightfall.
So I suggested we check into a hotel near the station, just any place, and come back at 2:30 AM to wait for the train.
She thought about it and agreed. We both felt that something was about to happen.
Section Four: Her at the Train Station
We both knew that during the time we waited for the train, something was about to happen between us at the hotel.
The hotels around the train station were surprisingly dirty and chaotic. We were students then, and very frugal.
We went to several hotels asking if they offered hourly rates, but there were almost none.
And strangely, that day, all the hotels were fully booked; we went to many, but they were all full.
Just when we were about to despair, the owner suddenly said, "Wait about five more minutes; someone is checking out."
So we settled in that hotel, just to rest a bit while we waited.
Each of us had our own thoughts, some intense ones—I guess this is what they call "things falling into place."
Sure enough, not long after, a student couple checked out.
We checked in smoothly. The room, which had just been vacated, had a strange smell as soon as I entered. I touched the blankets and felt the warmth of their body heat. I was speechless at the state of the room, but there was nothing I could do.
The moment the door closed, my heart pounded. She went into the bathroom and locked the door.
I knocked for a while, but she didn't open it.
Later, I heard the sound of water flushing in the bathroom, and then I saw her come out. She went straight to
the edge of the bed at the far end of the room and sat down, her back to me. I carefully sat down on the edge of the bed opposite her, and the scene became incredibly awkward.
In the throes of new love, we found ourselves speechless in this small space.
I started it.
Me: Are you tired?
Her: Yeah, a little.
Me: How about we turn off the lights and rest for a while?
She thought for a moment, didn't say anything, but nodded.
So I turned off all the lights in the room, and it suddenly became pitch black. I heard her slip into bed, and in that instant, my hearing became incredibly sharp.
The subtle rustling sound of the blankets seemed amplified several times over.
I slowly slipped into bed too. She lay on the right side, and I lay on the left. We shared a blanket, but it felt like there was a galaxy between us.
The feeling was subtle. I wanted to hold her down, or hug her tightly in bed, but having just been so intimate, I was afraid of losing control.
Especially me, I was afraid I'd scare her.
Just as we were locked in a silent stalemate, we heard moaning coming from the room next door.
The soundproofing in this hotel was absolutely terrible.
I could hear it, and I think she could too.
First, the bed creaked, then came the heavy breathing of a man and a woman, a breath that was both suppressed and excited. It felt like it was about to explode, but they held it back. Then came the woman's sharp moans, rising and falling, making my teenage blood boil.
The couple next to us were really good at it; the moans from next door were relentlessly assaulting our ears. Finally, amidst these moans, I mustered my courage, turned around, and closed the distance between us, pulling her tightly into my arms. She immediately buried her face in my chest. Her arms were crossed over her chest, her legs curled inward like a little hedgehog, taut and tense in my arms. I could feel her body trembling, and I could feel her body burning hot; I could feel my body trembling too. But I was blinded by my own burning love, and I held her tightly, my hands groping over her taut body. Although we had touched each other before, this was the first time in bed, in such a dark space, surrounded by the sounds of moaning.
She didn't reciprocate, but she didn't stop me either. I felt like she was a block of ice, and my hands were like a stream of heat that could melt ice. Wherever my hands touched, her body would slowly relax. Her body, which had been curled up in my arms, slowly relaxed and intertwined with mine. At that moment, I realized that a woman's softness could be like a snake, binding you. Finally, my lips found hers, and we kissed. We kissed tremblingly, like being electrocuted. Because it was summer, she wasn't wearing much, and I could easily peel off her clothes. But I still encountered a problem. When I touched her bra, my hands couldn't undo it. I was sweating anxiously and too embarrassed to ask her for help, so I simply used force and tore her bra from behind. I heard the sound of the clasp separating from the fabric, and she heard it too. We were no longer so shy at that moment, and we both laughed.
When I removed her bra, her two large breasts spilled out—yes, only the word "overflowed" can describe how I felt. I felt my chest being covered by something soft, bouncy, and warm. I pulled her close to my chest, in that position where the woman is on top and the man is on the bottom. I felt my first, uninhibited, zero-distance contact with her.
My lips left hers, and I leaned forward, burying my head in her breasts. I suddenly felt like I wanted to suffocate in her breasts.
Like an infant searching for milk, I searched for the peaks between her breasts. The moment I suckled her nipple into my mouth, I felt my body harden, then my mind went blank. For the first time, I felt my lower body erupt like a machine gun, or like a volcano that hadn't erupted in a long time, bursting forth uncontrollably.
I held her tightly, and I felt her body stiffen as well. She could feel my change, and I could feel hers.
We were drenched in sweat, our sweat mingling together. We kissed passionately, saying nothing.
Yes, my first time was without her; it ended before I even took off her underwear. To this day, I remember my first time vividly.
Time flew by as we lay together. We didn't go any deeper that day because I suddenly felt it wasn't there anymore. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get an erection that night. That problem bothered me for a long time. I even searched online for articles and posts about erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, almost going to a urologist for treatment and medication. Later, I realized it was because I was too nervous. When a man is nervous, even Viagra doesn't work.
We just lay in bed like that for a while. She seemed grateful that I hadn't taken her virginity at the train station or hotel. Later, when we were more familiar with each other's bodies, she told me that women also have fantasies about their first time. Besides, it's best if it happens in a nice environment, but sometimes men are driven by their lower bodies. When passion strikes, anywhere is fine.
After this little incident, I felt our relationship had become closer. She nestled in my arms like a little bird, her back against my chest. My arms were wrapped around her, my hands resting on her breasts, feeling that fullness, satisfaction, and possession. We fell asleep in each other's arms until my phone alarm went off.
We took a quick shower; my underwear dried from my body heat, though it smelled a little strange.
We checked out of the hotel, and she took my hand as we walked towards the train platform. She told me a lot about her plans for university, saying she would write to me, both electronically and by paper.
She said she would come back to see me, and she would skip class to come see me.
She said she would wait for me, wait for me to come to her.
She said she would love me, love me for a lifetime.
No matter what she said, I nodded in agreement, and then kissed the back of her hand as if promising something important.
We both knew that what we had at that time was indeed love. It's just that neither of us knew whether love could last a lifetime. It was
the first time I had seen someone off at the train station, and it was also the first time she had traveled so far from home by train.
Before the train arrived, we didn't feel how rushed time was.
Just as the train pulled into the station and the whistle sounded, we suddenly realized that there were still so many things we hadn't said to each other.
There were still so many sweet words we hadn't said.
I walked her to the ticket gate and helped her transfer her luggage from my hands.
I put my arm around her shoulder and whispered goodbye in her ear.
I felt her body trembling, and when our eyes met, they were already brimming with tears.
In that moment, I so desperately wanted to grab her and force her to stay.
But I knew I couldn't.
I watched her pass through the ticket gate and into the carriage. She wiped away her tears, smiled, and waved to me.
I waved back across the platform, through the train window.
The train slowly started moving, and she gradually disappeared from my sight. At that moment, my emotional vulnerability collapsed, and I cried my heart out.
I think I loved her. I think my first love loved me too.

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