I feel very regretful, conflicted, and heartbroken.

My wife went out to have sex with her boss last night. I've always wanted her to go out, and this time she actually went. I was really conflicted. She came back at midnight and said he was a bit bigger than me and very vigorous, but he only lasted three minutes before ejaculating. They did it in the car. Then she wanted me to wear a condom when we had sex, which I was unhappy about. Why did she not wear a condom when she had sex with other men and he still ejaculated inside, but she wanted to wear one when she had sex with me? My wife said she had just finished her period, and she was afraid of getting a disease if he ejaculated inside her. I insisted on not wearing a condom, and eventually my wife agreed. She said I didn't want to have sex with her anymore because I felt soft. I said I had just masturbated, and I did. Then my wife talked about the details of their sex. I got a little hard, but it didn't feel as exciting as described in the online articles. When I penetrated her, it felt less tight, a bit loose, and towards the end it felt sticky and uncomfortable. Then I ejaculated. During the process, I smelled the semen in my wife's vagina, and it smelled like rotten garlic, which was very unpleasant. After we finished having sex, I lay down and chatted with my wife. I said, "I regret it, honey. I should have known better than to let you go out." My wife asked if I felt sorry for her.
To be honest, I did feel sorry for her, but I was also conflicted, mostly heartbroken and sad. There wasn't much excitement involved. My wife is sleeping soundly now, but I can't sleep. It's 3 a.m., and I feel incredibly sad. I even feel like my wife won't be mine anymore. Will she still love me? I regret it so much. We've been married for seven years, and we both feel like sex has lost its passion, so I let her go out. But I feel inexplicably uncomfortable. It's not that I feel like she cheated on me, but I feel like any other man is unworthy of my wife, and I'm unworthy of her. My wife is so beautiful, and I let her go out. What's wrong with me? Sigh... I regret it so much…

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I feel very regretful, conflicted, and heartbroken.

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