My Past 49

Divorce, for those of us who are married, is a very painful thing. For families whose marriages have broken down, it's a relief. However, for me, it's something I never wanted to happen. A few years ago, my husband went to the provincial capital for further studies. He wanted to improve himself, and of course I was happy for him. He said the studies would take a year and a half, and frankly, I didn't want him to go. I knew he wouldn't listen to me anyway, so I could only say, "Go ahead and do your best." He did well in the first half of the year, coming home every week for intimacy. But in the second half, he wouldn't come home for two weeks or longer. When I asked him what was wrong, he'd say things like, "The studies are demanding," and always had a bunch of excuses. Even when he did come home, he seemed preoccupied, and his intimacy was perfunctory. I thought a lot about it; something was definitely going on, but I was too embarrassed to ask him. So, this went on for a while. Then,
he said, "Wife, I need to talk to you about something." I asked what it was, and he calmed down and said, "I made a mistake, a mistake..." "Unforgivable mistake," I said. "What's the big deal? We'll both handle this." He stammered, "Let's get a divorce." These were the words I least wanted to hear, and finally they came out of his mouth. I angrily shouted, "Why? Why do we have to get a divorce? You've been seeing other women, and as long as I didn't know, I didn't say anything. I just wanted you to take care of yourself. How could you bring up divorce? You know, I'm committed to you for life. I'll be your family in life and in death. Why do we have to get a divorce? I can't understand it!" I cried and screamed.
Then, he knelt down before me and said, "It's all my fault. I shouldn't have fallen in love with someone I shouldn't have." This girl was my classmate; we sat in front of and behind each other. She often turned around to ask me questions about my studies and occasionally chatted about everyday things. We became familiar with each other through these interactions. One time, she asked me to take her home, and we kissed in the car. After that one time, it happened countless times, and things spiraled out of control.

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My Past 49

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