Past events are like smoke

I'm a post-70s generation, a true country boy. I suffered a lot growing up, and I matured sexually rather late. My first time was through sex. I remember when I was in junior high, I was sleeping alone at home one night, my penis was painfully erect, I rubbed the glans a few times and ejaculated. That was my first ejaculation, a lot, a long way, probably about the same distance as a bullet. I've never ejaculated like that since. I didn't have any crushes on any girls in junior high, except for my cousin's wife. She was a nurse, not very tall, about 1.5 meters, very kind, and had big breasts. I just wanted to touch them; thinking about it now still makes my mouth water. We never had a chance to be alone together. My cousin was very controlling, and they often argued, mostly because of my cousin's stinginess. In high school, I had a crush on a girl, the quiet and gentle type. I even wrote her a letter, but she didn't reply, and I was heartbroken for a long time. During that time, I spent all my time hanging out with a bunch of classmates who loved to fight, and I didn't study seriously for a single day. I remember one time, I met a female classmate at the roller skating rink at night. She was a classmate's girlfriend. We played until 11 pm and then went home together. She was from the countryside and was going to visit a relative at the Agricultural Bank. I accompanied her to the Agricultural Bank, only to find it closed. She looked at me and said, "What should I do? I have no choice but to come with you." I didn't know what to do either, so I took her home. I was really poor back then; I didn't even have enough money for the bus fare. Luckily, it wasn't far. We chatted for half an hour and arrived at my doorstep. I looked up and saw the lights were still on, so I knew my parents were still waiting for me. I said to her, "Wait for me downstairs for a bit. I'll go upstairs first and wait for my parents to come and get you after they've gone to bed." She looked at me and said, "Hurry up, I'm scared." After saying that, I went upstairs. My parents were sitting in the living room waiting for me. After washing up, I went to my room. A little while later, I heard my parents turn off the lights and go to sleep. After about ten minutes, I stumbled downstairs, only to find her still standing there. I took her hand and led her into the room. Once inside, I pointed to the bed and said, "You'll sleep here tonight." She looked at me and asked, "Where will you sleep?" I pointed to the table and said, "Right here." That night, she slept on the bed, while I spent the entire night on the chair next to the table. I remember she asked me halfway through, "Are you cold? If you need it, come up." I said, "No, I'm not cold." When I woke up in the morning, I found myself wearing a coat. I sometimes think about this now, wondering why I didn't sleep with her. There were two main reasons: 1. She was my classmate's girlfriend, and a very good one at that. 2. At the time, I wasn't really aware of the concept of sex. But it's okay, today it's become a fond memory.

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Past events are like smoke

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