Those innocent memories

I.
A Few Things About Elementary School
In the early morning of 1985, I was born into a poor rural family in T City, H Province. My family members
included my father, mother, grandfather, grandmother, older sister, and me. At that time, my father was a privately-run teacher at the village elementary school
. Everyone was poor back then, especially in the countryside, so my childhood was quite free and happy. However,
there was one thing that I found very painful, which lasted from fourth grade until I graduated from sixth grade!
Later, I heard some elders reminiscing about the hardships of the past, saying that there were often days when there was no rice in the rice bin, and we ate
pickled vegetables, drank thin porridge, and even ate wheat bran buns. But we never experienced
these things ourselves, and even if we did, we had no memory of them. So we didn't take the elders' earnest advice seriously! However, it
was indeed a very difficult childhood. I remember that meat buns for breakfast cost one or two cents (later,
I don't remember if it was from the third grade or something, "cents" stopped circulating in the market, and the basic unit became "jiao").
Because my dad was a primary school teacher, my sister and I started school quite early—partly
because we were busy with farm work and didn't have much time to take care of us. I think I was taken to kindergarten by my dad when I was about 5 years old
, which was quite early for the time. I just messed around in kindergarten for half a year, and then one day (I don't
remember exactly), my dad took me straight to a first-grade classroom, and that's how my primary school life began.
Embarrassingly, I don't even know how I got through my first first grade. The only
thing I remember is blowing up one of those flat-mouthed balloons in class and releasing it. The gimmick of these balloons
is that when they're deflated, they shoot wildly through the air, accompanied by a sharp whistling sound. The result was predictable:
how "shocking" it was to see this thing in a quiet classroom! However, the teacher didn't scold me because of my dad. That year
, I naturally repeated the grade, starting my second first grade (I wonder if any of you
readers have a history of two first grades, ^_^!).
In first grade of my second elementary school, for some reason, my grades improved dramatically. I was
puzzled; I was almost always first in the class on tests. There was absolutely no cheating, nor was it, as some rumors suggested, that the teacher gave in to my
father's influence (I wasn't the only teacher's child at the school at the time, which was frustrating). This continued until
third grade, but that year, something happened that I still resent to this day. My mother
's family was wealthier than my father's and often helped our family financially. For example, our Panda brand black-and-white TV
, bed, wardrobe, table, and so on were almost all bought or made by my grandparents. Therefore,
my mother must have felt a little resentful when she married into the family. However, the feudal idea of "a woman follows her husband wherever he goes"
was still dominant at that time, which led to the existence of my sister and me.
Thinking about it now, with the exaggerated claim that virginity can only be found in middle school, it's quite disheartening! To get back to the point,
a middle-aged woman with the same surname in our village started trying to persuade my mom to play mahjong. At first, my mom refused, but
she couldn't resist the enticements and went anyway! And that was the end of our happy life together.
Later, when we grew up, my sister and I often felt resentful when we thought about it, especially my sister, who was two
years older than me. She was in fifth grade at the time, and she had argued with and even cursed at that woman because
she thought my mom had "corrupted" her.
Girls are generally
more emotional, and my sister said that before my mom knew how to play mahjong, she often combed my sister's hair, took us
on the swings, and played games with us; she was practically never beaten. But after my mom learned to play mahjong, not
only did these things stop, but we also started getting beaten more often, and my mom's temper became very volatile. My suffering followed
: you can't imagine, starting from fourth grade,
I would get beaten every time I wasn't first in an exam, even if I was second! This was very difficult for me to accept at the time, because
compared to other children, I was relatively obedient.
For example, I always finished my homework quickly (because I wanted to finish it quickly so I could play,
hehe). For instance, during the summer vacation after third grade, my dad was still teaching at school. After the exams, we had
a week off, and I asked him to bring back my summer homework—two books, one for Chinese and
one for math. When I went back to school to get my report card after the exams, the teacher also handed out those two summer homework books.
In class, when I received my report card, my heart sank, because I thought I was going to get beaten: I only
got second place, not first. When the teacher handed out summer homework, I told him I already had it and asked my dad
to get it for me.
The teacher didn't give it to me. You probably won't believe it, but after a week, I had
almost finished those two homework books. On the third day after summer vacation officially started, I completely overcame them. I
wouldn't say I was amazing, but at that time, no one could compare to me.
I had a very happy summer vacation because my mom didn't scold me. Unfortunately, before I even reached fourth grade, my
dad, due to the pressure of family finances, went to work in the decoration industry—at that time, my dad only earned a little over a thousand yuan a year as a teacher, and
my mom said that it would be difficult for us to continue our studies—he only came home two or three
times a year!
My sister and I began a life lacking fatherly love!
II. First Hearing of Lovemaking
I dare say that almost everyone who slept in the same bed with their parents as a child has a little secret.
I have this secret too: if I accidentally wake up in the middle of the night, I can hear their loving sounds and the bed shaking. I
don't remember when I first heard it. I only remember being very confused and knowing almost nothing,
always falling asleep with heavy breathing. It wasn't until I grew up that I understood more, and by then I no longer
slept in the same bed as my parents.
The most memorable time was when I was seven or eight years old, I went to my cousin's house with my mom. She
had been married for over a year but didn't have children yet. That night, my mom went home, leaving me at my cousin's house.
After taking a bath and watching TV for a while, I went to sleep, sharing a bed with my cousins. In the middle of the night, I woke up groggily, my ears...
I heard soft "plop" and "humming" sounds coming from the side, and the bed was shaking. I turned over, and the sounds
stopped. My cousin called me weakly, "Ma Kai, Ma Kai." At the time, I didn't know if it was an instinctive reluctance to answer
or if I was just too drowsy, but I didn't reply and continued pretending to be asleep. Then the moans continued in a series.
"He's asleep, he hasn't woken up!" my cousin's husband said, panting, and then he continued his actions.
"Hmm~ hum~ hum."
"Yonghe, am I going to go all out?!"
"Hmm!"
Then, the plop, moaning, and panting sounds became even more frequent. About 10 minutes later, I
fell asleep again amidst the sounds! Ugh!
Perhaps it's because the adults weren't paying attention that I became psychologically "mature" quite early, and I often
wanted to experience the feeling of "playing house" with girls. Back then, our village had 10 groups, and my family lived in the 5th group.
There were about a hundred households nearby.
There were quite a few girls who were about my age or a year or two older than me and I played together. Thinking back, I think I had physical contact with
about 4 of them (like children rubbing their genitals together with their bare bottoms). (Hehe, I was ignorant when I was young and didn't know anything, so I just did whatever I wanted.) One time, I
went to her house to play after lunch. She and her younger sister were home alone, and I got aroused. I suggested we play house, and
she agreed. We played for a while, and then I pretended to say, "Well, it's time to sleep now
."
So we went to her bed together. I made her lie down, took off her pants, and by then, my
penis was already hard. I inserted it into her vagina. I didn't know how to do it then; I just looked
at her labia, parted them, and buried the head of my penis inside, then started thrusting (very intense,
very funny, very silly, haha!). After about ten minutes, the girl said she was bored and wanted to stop,
ending the "battle." Another time, after school, I took her straight home.
My grandma was outside making straw, and we played that thing inside. Looking back, it was really absurd.
III. A Childhood Peeping
Soon, I was in junior high school. I started developing; in the first year, I was only about 1.5 meters tall, but by the second year, I was 1.7
meters! I grew so fast! My voice deepened, my Adam's apple became more prominent, my penis grew larger, my pubic hair grew longer,
and I became much more handsome! (^_^)
One summer during my first year of junior high, I was bored at home and took two neighbor kids for a stroll. Passing a toilet
, I noticed a girl squatting inside. In the countryside, toilets were often poorly maintained; the doors were usually wide open,
at most covered by a large wooden board. The girl was a few years older than me, and of course, she was already developed. When
I passed by, a quick glance revealed her genitals, bright red and with some
dark hair. But I had already walked past, and feeling uneasy, I lewdly turned back and pretended to casually glance at them
a few more times. Afterwards, I felt uneasy and left. A few minutes later, I returned, but the girl was gone.
Ugh!
That summer, one evening after dinner, several women were chatting. My mom was there too,
so I went over to join them. The sun hadn't set yet, and the view was still bright. About three meters away from where I was standing, a pregnant woman
was sitting on a stool. She was wearing a loose maternity dress, one foot on the stool, the other on the ground. I
glanced over casually and realized her underwear was completely in my view. And because of the position of her legs,
it was practically impossible for her underwear to cover her genitals. Her thick, dark pubic hair and large, dark red labia were
completely exposed to me. My heart suddenly started racing. There were many people around, and I was
peeping—it was a thrilling feeling. Unfortunately, I was scared and only looked a few times before stopping. A while later,
the woman put her other leg down, covering herself!
In my second year of junior high, I started flirting with a girl in my class for a while. We'd switch
seats to sit in front of her or next to her, pass her notes, pinch her hand, touch her thigh, and put my arm around her waist—
all during class! It was exciting and absurd. Unfortunately, I hadn't watched any adult videos back then, and sex education wasn't taught, so
my understanding was very vague, and I didn't do anything inappropriate. Now, she's getting married! Here, I want to criticize
sex education in China.
My neighbor, a young woman around 27 or 28, quite voluptuous and attractive, used to
come to my house frequently during the summer after my third year of junior high, looking at magazines. She almost always came alone, and I
was home alone. One time, while she was reading a magazine, I stood next to her, and suddenly, I had an impulse and
put my arm around her waist. She glanced at me, didn't react, and continued reading. I'm timid, so I took my arm down.
Later, every time I think about it, I feel depressed. Such an obvious "seduction"—if I had been bolder, I might have…
And a few times she even came over for a nap wearing a skirt. I hate myself for not having the guts!!! But every gain has its loss; if
I had slept with her, my worthless virginity would be gone…

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Those innocent memories

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