My May-December Romance with a Girl (15-16)

15.
One weekend in late April 2018, after dropping my daughter off at my in-laws' house, I, just turned 43, went shopping with a close friend. At the IFC Mall, I saw Ji Meishan walking towards me.
She was with a young foreign woman. The moment I saw her, I tried to remain calm, but my heart pounded. At that moment, thinking of our parting years ago, and her pitiful appearance then, tears welled up in my eyes.
She was twenty then, still so beautiful, still with such a great figure, just like when I first met her at seventeen. Only now, compared to the still-naive high school student of that time, she had the air of a college student.
She saw me too, clearly startled for a moment, then turned her head away as if she hadn't seen me. As they were about to pass by me, I couldn't help but call out, "Xiaoshan."
She had to stop. I smiled and said, "Long time no see."
"Yeah, long time no see," she forced a smile and said.
My friend looked at Ji Meishan with surprise, then at me. The foreign woman next to Ji Meishan greeted me cheerfully, "Hi! Hello, I'm Daniela, are you Meishan's friend?"
Her Chinese was decent, she was in her early twenties, Caucasian, very beautiful, with a great figure, about 1.65 meters tall, curvaceous and slender.
I didn't know what the relationship was between Daniela and Ji Meishan. Were they just friends? Or...lesbian lovers? The latter made me involuntarily speculate and feel jealous.
Nevertheless, I politely replied, "Hello! My name is Anmei, I'm Meishan's aunt."
"OK, Anmei, we're just about to go get coffee up ahead, would you like to come with us?" Daniela displayed the typical foreign friendliness.
I thought for a moment and agreed, because I wanted to know how Ji Meishan had been doing all these years.
My best friend had other things to do, so she said goodbye and left first. I sat down with Ji Meishan and Daniela at a nearby coffee shop.
Ji Meishan kept a cold face and didn't say much; it was mostly Daniela talking to me.
Through our conversation, I learned that Daniela is Italian and currently teaches Italian at a foreign language training institution in Guangzhou. Her maternal grandfather was Chinese, making her one-quarter Chinese. She learned Chinese from her grandparents and mother from a young age, so her Chinese is quite good.
When I asked her how she met Ji Meishan, she said to Ji Meishan in English, "Honey, should we tell her about our relationship?"
A deep pang of jealousy welled up inside me; they really were lesbian lovers.
Ji Meishan told me, "She's my girlfriend; we've been together for almost half a year."
I smiled awkwardly and didn't say anything. Daniela looked at me, then at Ji Meishan, her gaze carrying a certain meaning. The three of us were silent for a moment.
Just then, Ji Meishan's phone rang. She said "Excuse me," and went outside the coffee shop to answer the call.
Watching her figure, I said to Daniela, "Daniela, can you tell me how it all started?"
Daniela smiled sweetly and said, "Last July, I went to Portugal for tourism. I met Meishan for the first time in a small bar in Lisbon. She was listening intently to FADO..."
I was taken aback. Why was Meishan in Lisbon again? Did she go alone?
I said, "Excuse me, Daniela, can you remember the name of the small bar where you met?"
Daniela smiled and said, "Of course I remember! That's where Meishan and I first met. How could I forget?"
She told me the name of the small bar, the very one where Meishan and I had listened to FADO on the night we arrived in Lisbon during the National Day holiday that year.
I fought back the tears welling up in my eyes and smiled, "Go on, Daniela."
In Daniela's subsequent story, I learned that she was attracted by Meishan's beauty and melancholy and took the initiative to talk to her, which is how they met.
Ji Meishan told Daniela that just nine months ago, she and her lover had come here together to listen to FADO.
The image of Ji Meishan's sorrowful and lonely figure flashed through my mind, and I quickly wiped away the tears welling in my eyes.
"I didn't know then that Meishan actually loved a woman," Daniela laughed. "I'm sure I fell in love with Meishan the moment I saw her."
Daniela continued, saying that she was instantly captivated by Ji Meishan that night. Afterwards, they spent two days together in Lisbon, and she proposed to sleep with Ji Meishan, but was refused.
Not long after Ji Meishan returned to China, Daniela also came to Guangzhou and applied for a job teaching Italian at that foreign language training institution. From then on, under her pursuit, she began a lesbian relationship with Ji Meishan.
“This is probably the craziest thing I’ve ever done in my life…” Daniela took a drag of her cigarette and chuckled softly. “I ran from one side of the earth to the other so I could be with the person I love.”
I never imagined that when I cruelly broke up with Ji Meishan to help her return to a normal life, she would find another same-sex lover, and a foreigner at that.
“Daniela…” I smiled slightly, “Do you only love women?”
Daniela smiled and said, “Of course not. In fact, when I met Meishan, I had just finished arguing with my boyfriend, so I traveled alone and that’s how I met Meishan. It’s just that I prefer being with women to men.”
She stubbed out her half-smoked cigarette in the ashtray and said, “Anmei, can I ask you a question?”
I said, “Go ahead.”
“You’re the person Meishan loved, right?” She looked at me and smiled.
I didn’t intend to hide it from her and nodded. She laughed again, "I could tell from the way you looked at each other. And you almost cried when I told you all this."
She paused, then said, "I think she still loves you..."
I was taken aback and looked up at Daniela. She smiled bitterly, "Once when we were making love, she called out 'Meimei.' Afterwards, I asked her, but she denied it, saying I misheard."
Tears welled up in my eyes again, and then Daniela said, "Anmei, you still love her too, don't you?"
Just as I didn't know how to answer, Ji Meishan returned from her phone call, and Daniela and I ended the conversation.
Ji Meishan remained cold, and we chatted for a few minutes, like ordinary acquaintances. She asked me if the child I was carrying was a boy or a girl. I said it was a girl, seven months along. She didn't ask anything else.
When we parted, I smiled at her and said, "Meishan, goodbye, take care."
She didn't speak, just nodded slightly, but Daniela said goodbye to me warmly. Watching her and Daniela's departing figures, I knew she still hated me. Wiping away the tears that welled up again, I thought to myself, this is truly a silent ending.
That night, my daughter was at my in-laws' house, my husband was out socializing, and my son was at a classmate's house. I stayed in my study, smoking many cigarettes, my mind racing.
I thought, I broke up with Ji Meishan so decisively back then, so that both of us could return to a normal life. But I never expected that she would still be with other women; in the end, this was just my self-redemption.
Meishan, Meishan… I couldn't help but call her name in my heart, tears streaming down my face.
Time flies. Two and a half years have passed. My husband finally achieved his dream of becoming the head of that state-owned enterprise, my son is a sophomore in college, and my daughter is three years old.
Because of childbirth and childcare, I was delayed in my professional title evaluation, and at forty-five years old, I am still an associate professor. But I don't care too much about these things; the most important thing is that my family lives happily.
For the past two and a half years, Ji Meishan and I have maintained all contact, with no information about each other. But one day, I heard her voice.
"An Mei..." she softly called my name on the other end of the phone.
My tears immediately fell. It was early November 2020. Ji Meishan told me on the phone that she was in Changsha on business and would be flying back to Guangzhou that night, hoping to meet me.
I wanted to refuse her, but I couldn't bear to, and besides, I really wanted to see what she was like now, to get a glimpse of her current life.
I wondered to myself, was she still with that Italian girl? Or had she found another girlfriend, or... a boyfriend?
"Okay, where?" I said.
“I’ll be waiting for you at the coffee shop in my hotel,” she said, her voice flat and devoid of emotion, as if she were meeting an old friend she hadn’t seen in years.
Soon, I received her address on WeChat—a five-star hotel. I was a little confused. She had a home here; why wasn’t she staying at a hotel? Perhaps her company was reimbursing her for a business trip? But she had only recently started working; how could she have such good treatment?
With these questions in mind, I put my daughter in her car seat in the back and fastened her seatbelt before driving to the hotel.
I brought my daughter along to remind her, and myself, that we could never go back to the way things were.

16.
Arriving at the coffee shop of the five-star hotel, Ji Meishan was already waiting. She waved to me when she saw me.
She was twenty-two years old, her beauty now tinged with a mature, aloof air. I also noticed her head-to-toe luxury brand attire. She paused slightly when she saw my daughter, then invited us to sit down.
“Your daughter?” she asked with a smile.
“Hmm…” I smiled and nodded, saying to my daughter, “Say hello to Auntie.”
The little girl called out in her sweet, soft voice. Ji Meishan gently stroked her little face and smiled, “Hmm, so cute.”
She then said to me, “If I remember correctly, you’re three years old, right?”
“Yes!” I nodded and smiled.
I thought, she’s right, how could she be wrong? Just when this child was first conceived, we broke up. Thinking about that, my heart ached again.
She pointed to the coffee on the table, “I ordered you a cappuccino, I remember you like this.”
“Thank you,” I said, smiling again, “You’re still so beautiful, and your figure is still so good.”
“You still look so young, you haven’t changed at all,” she smiled slightly.
“Where?” I lowered my eyelids and brushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “I’m getting old. I’m a mother of two.”
A silence followed. She pointed to the coffee cup in front of me and said, “Have some coffee.”
I picked it up and took a small sip, asking, “Are you… still with Daniela?”
She shook her head. “I broke up with her not long after we last met.”
I wasn’t surprised. I asked again, “Then… are you single now?”
She smiled at me. “What do you think?”
I smiled. “Probably not, right?”
“Anmei…” She stared at me, her voice suddenly turning cold. “Although I loved you in the past, I didn’t love you so much that you didn’t want me anymore. I’m still single.”
My heart ached, I felt embarrassed, and resentful. She said she loved me in the past, but I still love her!
She held up her left hand, showing me the diamond ring on her ring finger. “I’m married.”
I was quite surprised. I didn’t know whether to be happy for her or disappointed for myself. Yes, when I heard she was married, I couldn’t help feeling disappointed.
Just as I was somewhat stunned, I heard her chuckle softly, "Your second child is already three years old, it's time for me to settle down too."
My heart was filled with mixed emotions, and I asked, "Can...you tell me about him?"
She looked at me for a moment and said, "He's eighteen years older than me, quite handsome, and very rich. He's the chairman of a listed company, and he has a son with his ex-wife. We met when I was interning during my senior year of college, and he started pursuing me then. We got married this National Day."
Only then did I realize that her luxurious attire and stay in such a high-end hotel meant she had found a sugar daddy.
Her voice continued, "Yesterday was the tenth anniversary of my mother's death, and my aunt and I went to pay our respects. So..."
She paused here, looked at me, and said, "I wanted to take this opportunity to meet you."
I asked, "Do you...love him?"
She stared at me for a moment and nodded, "Of course, otherwise why would I marry him?"
She placed her hand on her stomach, "And I'm already pregnant with his child, more than a month along."
I was surprised and my feelings were complicated. Seeing her marry so well, I should be happy for her, but I just can't feel happy at all. For years, I've always thought I'd be happy to know she'd found a normal new relationship, but now I know that's not the case.
Because I've always loved her, and four years haven't changed anything; I still love her the same way I did four years ago.
She kept staring at me, as if she could read my mind. I had to compose myself and talk to her about pregnancy; after all, I've had two children and have a lot of experience in that area.
Just then, my daughter started crying for sleep. Ji Meishan said, "Why don't you take her to my room to sleep for a while?"
My heart raced, and I said, "No need, I'll take her back to sleep."
"It's upstairs, very convenient."
My reason told me I should refuse, but I said, "Wouldn't that be too much of a disturbance?"
"It's alright..." she smiled, getting up and saying, "Let's go!"
We entered Ji Meishan's room, a large and luxurious suite. I put my daughter on the bed and took a small blanket from my backpack to cover her.
Ji Meishan sat on the edge of the bed, gazing at my sleeping daughter, and said to me, "She really looks like you."
"Yes!" I gently stroked my daughter's face and smiled slightly. "People say our eldest son looks like my husband, and our little daughter looks like me."
"Didn't you always want a daughter? Now your wish has come true." Ji Meishan looked up at me and smiled.
"Shall we sit over there?" she said, leading me to the sofa. We were silent for a moment.
After a long while, I said, "I'm sorry, Meishan, I..."
I hesitated. She looked at me and smiled, "Why are you apologizing?"
I looked at her with tears in my eyes, "Meishan, do you... still hate me?"
Tears welled in her eyes, and she smiled faintly, "Yes, I hate you so much..."
She paused, looking at me
, and said, "And... I love you so much too. In other words, the more I hate you, the more I love you." I was startled, staring at her blankly, and said, "But just now..."
"You mean my husband?" she smiled, "He's just the man I wanted to marry, and should marry. I've always loved you, and that's never changed."
My heart melted instantly. She sat down beside me, gently stroking my face, gazing at me, and softly said, "Meimei, tell me honestly, do you still love me?" Tears streamed down
my face as I gazed at her, and said, "Yes, I love you."
She also wept, slowly kissing me, gently kissing my lips while stroking my face. I didn't flinch or resist, but simply said, "Xiaoshan, we shouldn't continue like this."
I was already a mother of two, and she was a married woman soon to be a mother.
"I know, I won't see you again," she whispered, continuing to kiss me.
My emotional dam crumbled instantly, and I began to kiss her back. We kissed, our kisses growing more passionate, tears streaming into each other's mouths.
As we kissed, we undressed, took hands, and led her to the bed, lying down beside our daughter. She lay on top of me, continuing our passionate kiss, our breasts pressed together, our genitals rubbing against each other.
We kissed deeply, our tongues intertwining. I choked out, "I love you, I really love you!"
"I love you too!" she cried, smiling through her tears, and kissed me again…
Outside the window, night was falling, and the city lights were coming on.
As I dressed, Ji Meishan was still asleep, lying motionless on the bed, her naked body breathtakingly beautiful. I felt her body was truly a masterpiece of art.
I didn't want to wake her, because I feared how much effort it would take for me to leave the room, and how much effort it would take for her to let me go—what a heartbreaking farewell that would be!
I got dressed, gently covered her with the blanket, and sat on the edge of the bed watching her, tears streaming down my face.
After a long while, I wiped away my tears, got up, went to the other bed, packed the small blanket from my still-sleeping daughter into my backpack, then held her in my arms and tiptoed towards the door.
Reaching the door, I turned back and looked deeply at Ji Meishan on the bed before opening the door and walking out. I knew that this turn might be forever. As the door slammed shut behind me, tears continued to flow.
On the drive home, I was still crying, wiping them as I drove. Then my husband called, asking where I was and why I wasn't home. I forced back my tears and laughed, saying that an old friend had come to Changsha and wanted to see our daughter, so I brought her along.
I added with a laugh, "Why are you home so late, you busy man?"
He laughed, "Hey! I just wanted to spend more time with you and our daughter." "
That evening, my husband and I were bathing our daughter together in the bathroom. My husband, having a daughter in middle age, dotes on her immensely, making the little girl giggle and laugh.
I watched the father and daughter with a smile, my heart overflowing with warmth. Suddenly, I thought of Ji Meishan. Was she at the airport yet? Would she be upset that I didn't wake her up when I left, that I didn't even say goodbye? After all, once she left, we would never see each other again in this life.
Thinking of this, I felt a pang of sadness, and my smile froze.
My phone rang in the living room. I went to the living room, picked it up, and saw it was Ji Meishan calling. My heart pounded. I glanced at the bathroom, turned around, went into the study, closed the door, and pressed the answer button.
"Are you home?" Ji Meishan asked.
"Yes, bathing my daughter. What about you?"
"I'm at the airport..."
She paused for a moment, "Why didn't you wake me up when you left?"
"You were asleep. I didn't want to disturb you." "
Actually, I was just pretending to be asleep... I was afraid I wouldn't let you go, and I didn't want to... be so attached to you."
Hearing her words, tears welled up again. After a brief silence, Ji Meishan sobbed on the other end of the phone and said, "Meimei, let's be together in the next life..."
She choked up and continued, "In the next life, neither of us will get married, we'll just stay together..."
I instantly broke down in tears, choking out, "Yes, together in the next life..."
"Okay, goodbye." She hung up the phone after saying that.
I clutched the phone to my chest, sobbing uncontrollably. Through my teary eyes, I seemed to see that tall, graceful girl from five years ago walking towards me.
"Excuse me, Auntie, could you do me a favor?" she said to me.
At that moment, I heard my husband and daughter laughing and joking, but sorrow, like a mountain spring constantly gushing from the cliff, overflowed from my heart.
I sobbed, trying hard to suppress my cries so that my husband outside wouldn't hear...

(The End)

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