I finally told my wife about my cuckoldry fetish.

I've been married for 5 years and have been using couples-based dating sites for over 4 years. I think I started using 69 Paradise around 2017. I'd browsed other websites before, but never registered an account or forgot about them. 69 Paradise is the website I've spent the most time on. When I first started using it, everything seemed so new and exciting. How could so many people like to take their wives out to have sex with other men? Shouldn't these kinds of things only happen in Japanese adult films? After reading many articles and logs in the forum, I gradually understood the various reasons and needs of the people who came here. Some were simply looking for excitement, some wanted to sleep with other people's wives, some wanted to increase the spice of their marital sex life, some wanted free sex, and some were simply here to fantasize. There were all sorts of people, each getting what they wanted. I'm grateful to the forum for providing such a great environment where so many like-minded friends can gather and exchange ideas. When I first entered the forum, I also came with the intention of finding a one-night stand. Later, I found that the reality wasn't as optimistic as I thought. The idea that posting some photos and leaving comments on various logs or posts looking for single men would guarantee sex was naive. Later, I even thought about "training" my wife and working on her mindset, so that if I succeeded, I could legitimately go out and have sex. While the idea was good... Training my wife wasn't easy. From watching 3P videos with her to casually mentioning finding her a better man during sex, I received a lot of eye-rolls, haha. I think most wives would react the same way if I brought this up. It went on like this, every time I had an idea or a new excuse, I'd bring it up again, but these methods were largely ineffective. Then I wondered if she wasn't interested in sex, and if traditional values prevented her from doing anything so outrageous or unethical, hence her resistance. I wanted her to be more wanton and proactive in bed, so I started a new approach: before I left for work in the morning, I'd insert a vibrator into her, saying I wanted to see her wearing it when I got home at lunchtime so we could have sex. I agreed, and when I came back at noon, she hadn't taken it out. Also, this morning when I took the kids to school, I put a vibrator in her vagina, telling her to take this little thing with her to school, and she did. Haha, but she told me she didn't feel anything when she got back. Maybe the toy wasn't powerful enough, or maybe the situation wasn't stimulating enough for her. After all that, when I asked her about finding her a man during intimacy, she was still very opposed. At that time, I thought... maybe she really didn't want to, she only wanted to be loyal to me. Oh, I forgot to mention, my wife's first time was with me. She's never dated before. I dated one woman for four years, a one-night stand or more like a multi-night stand... I've been with six women in total. When I brought this up, I asked her if she got jealous, and the answer was definitely yes... After five years of marriage, we've both lost that initial passion for sex. It's been lukewarm ever since. It went from once or twice a day to two or three times a week, then two or three times a month... There was a period in between when we didn't have sex for two whole months... ...I'm busy with work and not really interested. She didn't pester me for it either, even though I actually have a pretty strong sex drive...I started masturbating in sixth grade and I'm 30 now and still can't break the habit. I do it at least 2-3 times a week, sometimes every day...Even with a wife, it's the same. I once did a math problem with a girl I've known for over ten years...Haha, it's pretty funny. How much semen have I ejaculated since I started masturbating?...We were both shocked when we calculated it...A whole water dispenser bottle full... I'll post the photos in my album later; interested friends can take a look. Okay, back to the story of yesterday. In the afternoon, a guy from the amusement park messaged me privately and added me as a friend. We didn't chat much, just exchanged a few casual words and then logged off. In the evening, I went drinking at a birthday party for an elder of my clan. After a few rounds of drinks and several dishes, I was a little tipsy. I mentioned to the guy who added me during the day that my wife and I had a little activity that night—basically, a normal "marital affair" (a euphemism for sexual activity). I told him I'd write him a post-coital report afterward, haha. But the guy was also drinking and entertaining friends, so we didn't chat anymore. After drinking, I went home, took a shower, and got into bed to start flirting... During the process, I had my first deep conversation with my wife about my thoughts. From initially wanting a one-night stand, to wanting sex, to now just wanting to find someone to satisfy her for a threesome. For so many years, I've felt really guilty for not being able to satisfy her. As for sex... I'll think about that later... I hadn't even taken the first step, haha. During flirting, I told her I wanted to find a man who was better than me, whose penis had to be several centimeters longer... because every time we made love... I could feel that my length could barely reach her sensitive areas. My wife likes deep penetration, because my penis is only about 13.5 cm long, less than 14 cm. Every time I thrust deeply, my wife felt great, but I knew I couldn't hide it from her... She got upset when I said this, so I just told her everything. I said I wanted to find her a better one to satisfy her, that I have a cuckold fetish, and that I wanted her to experience different men and feelings, to have different orgasms. I've been with six women, and you only have me. Don't you think you're losing out? Hahaha. Then I asked her, "Don't you have any boys you like? Haven't you ever fantasized about being intimate with them?" She said she'd had crushes, but never thought about being intimate with them. I said, "You're just saying things you don't mean, hahaha. What girl doesn't dream of love?" Then she started crying... This was something I hadn't expected. My wife said, "Why do you always want to let other men sleep with me? Do you really enjoy being cuckolded? Don't you love me anymore?" I said, "No, I just want to give you a different experience, a different kind of orgasm. Your usual orgasms are like drinking water until you're full, while other women's orgasms are like eating a full-course banquet. Do you know how big the difference is?" Then I explained to her that she usually orgasms with her clitoris, but she's never experienced a G-spot orgasm, an A-spot orgasm, a vaginal orgasm, let alone incontinence or squirting during orgasm. I love you, and I don't care if you cuckold me, especially since it was my suggestion. I want us to have a different kind of sexual experience. Life is short... after a few decades, we'll just turn into dust, leaving nothing behind. Living a mundane life like this is too boring." She fell silent at this point. I started stimulating her clitoris with a vibrator, and she came for the first time in a few minutes. I gave her oral sex, and then started stimulating her with the vibrator again... and she came again in a few minutes... Finally, I got down to business, missionary position... Actually, my wife is only used to three positions: doggy style, missionary, and lying down with her buttocks slightly raised, which I enter from behind to stimulate her deeply, and she enjoys it... We did it for about 20 minutes, but she didn't climax. In the middle, my wife said she felt like she needed to pee, but couldn't. I knew it was because I wasn't being vigorous enough, and my penis was too short... I felt quite ashamed... In the end, I ejaculated... but still couldn't make her climax... I'm also very confused. Why do all my female and male friends say they climax easily? Some even reach orgasm twice before their husbands ejaculate... or three times, at least once. It's not that my duration is shorter than theirs... On the contrary, sometimes it can last up to half an hour, and the most intense time was 70 minutes before I ejaculated... but my wife still didn't come... It's very discouraging... Sigh. Okay, typing on a phone is a bit of a hassle, and I don't want to turn on my computer. I've been writing for over two hours now, and I'd like to find some friends with similar interests here. You can add me on QQ. I'll write more next time I think of something.

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I finally told my wife about my cuckoldry fetish.

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