I was turned gay by my husband's niece (11-15)

11.
Days passed by, and the National Day holiday arrived. Gao Shanshan's parents came to Chongqing to visit their daughter, bringing their ten-year-old son along for a short trip.
My husband and I had originally asked Gao Shanshan and her brother to stay at our house to avoid the four of them living in her rented apartment, which would be too crowded. However, Gao Shanshan's parents didn't want to trouble us, saying that it was fine for the whole family to squeeze in, so my husband and I agreed.
Considering that my son-in-law's cousin and his wife had come all this way, my father and stepmother decided to invite Gao Shanshan's family over for a meal. Gao Shanshan's parents also intended to visit my parents to thank them for their care and concern for Gao Shanshan.
Both sides readily agreed, and the meal was scheduled for the evening of October 3rd. That day, my husband and I arrived at my father's house in the morning to help my stepmother, Aunt Fang. Aunt Fang's son, Tang Zihao, my stepbrother, also arrived in the afternoon.
My dad was sixty-one years old that year, a university professor. He named me Tang Zifei, taken from Zhuangzi's "You are not a fish, how do you know the joy of fish?" Later, my mom thought the name didn't sound like a girl's name, so she changed "Fei" to "Fei" (菲).
Aunt Fang was in her early fifties. Her ex-husband was a scoundrel, a compulsive gambler and alcoholic, who frequently abused her and their son. Aunt Fang insisted on divorcing him, and her son no longer recognized his father.
When I was thirteen, Aunt Fang married my dad through an introduction. She was very good to me, and my dad treated her son as his own. Our blended family got along very well, and we loved each other dearly. Aunt Fang even had her son take my dad's surname, changing his name to Tang Zihao.
Tang Zihao was twenty-three years old. After graduating from university, he got a job at an IT company through my husband's introduction, making him a colleague of my husband. He usually lived alone in a small apartment that my dad and Aunt Fang bought for him.
"Zihao, stop playing on your phone, come and help," Aunt Fang said to her son.
Tang Zihao was playing a mobile game called "Pro Evolution Soccer," and the game sound filled the entire living room.
Seeing that her son ignored her, Aunt Fang continued, "Your sister and brother-in-law came to help this morning, but you only arrived when the guests were almost here, and all you did was play games..."
I put a plate of cold dishes on the table and smiled at Aunt Fang, "Don't call him, he's clumsy and might just make things worse."
Aunt Fang continued to complain, "That brat, really, he's over twenty and hasn't done a single decent thing, all he does is play games and has no girlfriend."
She then said to me, "By the way, Zifei, you know a lot of girls, introduce one to your brother, so that this brat will settle down."
I wiped my hands with a tissue, walked over and sat down next to Tang Zihao, grabbed his neck, and said, "You little rascal, tell me, what kind of girl do you like?"
I still remember the first time I met Tang Zihao, he was only five years old then, much shorter than me who was already growing into a graceful young man, standing timidly next to Aunt Fang looking at me.
My dad said to me, "Zifei, from now on he's your younger brother..."
From that moment on, he and I became siblings. Eighteen years have passed in the blink of an eye, and we're just like any other siblings, even closer than before.
"Pretty," Tang Zihao replied without looking up, his hands still busy tapping on his phone.
"Nonsense, I like pretty ones too!" I laughed, snatching the phone from his hand. "Hey, your sister's talking to you! Why aren't you responding?"
Tang Zihao quickly reached for the phone, "Sis, sis, give it to me, let's finish this game first."
I gave the phone back to him, patted his head, and jokingly scolded, "You little rascal."
Then I went back to the kitchen to continue helping Aunt Fang. Aunt Fang asked me if Shanshan had a boyfriend. I said probably not. Suddenly, I thought of the time I spent with Gao Shanshan, and my face flushed and my heart raced.
Tang Zihao shouted from the living room, "Mom, don't try to play matchmaker! We're from different generations!"
Although he'd met Gao Shanshan twice, he rarely spoke to her. Was he shy? Or was he just immature?
"You brat, I was just asking casually, not setting you up," Aunt Fang said.
She then said to my husband, "Wenchao, call your brother and sister-in-law and ask where they are."
Those days, my husband had lent his car to Gao Shanshan's father so Gao Shanshan could accompany her parents and younger brother on a trip around Chongqing.
"Okay, Aunt Fang, I'll call them right away," my husband replied.
Not long after, Gao Shanshan and her family of four arrived at my house, bringing gifts for my father and Aunt Fang. My father and Aunt Fang warmly welcomed them, and the guests and hosts chatted happily.
Gao Shanshan's parents were both in their forties, only a few years younger than Aunt Fang. They called my father "Professor Tang" and Aunt Fang "Professor Tang's Wife."
My father asked Gao's parents where they had been. Mr. and Mrs. Gao said that on their first night there, Gao Wenchao and I took them to see the night view at Nanshan Yihuali and Nanping Longmenhao. In the following two days, Gao Shanshan accompanied them to Hongyadong, Chaotianmen, and Ciqikou Ancient Town, and also to see the famous light rail train passing through a building. Everywhere they went, it was incredibly crowded, full of tourists from other places.
They also said that Chongqing is beautiful, large, and prosperous, truly a top-tier metropolis in China. They were very happy that Gao Shanshan could work in such a place, and even live here long-term.
After chatting for a while, the guests and hosts sat down in the dining room for dinner. Most of the dishes were prepared by Aunt Fang, and they were all delicious and beautifully presented. Mr. and Mrs. Gao praised Aunt Fang's cooking skills. Everyone ate and chatted, still in high spirits.
Gao Shanshan and I sat together, and she picked out an oyster for me, saying, "Sister, you eat an oyster."
We smiled at each other, our affection unspoken. Since her parents and younger brother came to Chongqing, she's been staying with them, and we haven't had a chance to be alone together.
"Shanshan, why are you calling Zifei 'sister'? You should call her 'auntie'!" said Gao's mother.
"Zifei made her call her that, we're all used to it, haha..." Aunt Fang laughed.
My dad also said, "That's right, anyway, Zifei isn't much older than Shanshan, let them be."
Gao Shanshan then picked up an oyster for Tang Zihao, who was sitting on my other side. "Brother Zihao, have some oysters."
Tang Zihao lowered his head and said "thank you." I noticed that this kid seemed quite shy around Gao Shanshan, never initiating conversations with her; it was always Gao Shanshan who initiated the conversations.
This is understandable; my younger brother has been shy since childhood and is a homebody now. He's rarely seen with girls except when playing with a group of boys, and I've never seen him date. Gao Shanshan is so beautiful, it's natural that he'd be shy around her.
That's why Aunt Fang is so anxious about his marriage, even though he's only twenty-three. Tang Zihao isn't particularly handsome, and he's not proactive with girls. If others don't help him, who knows when he'll ever find a girlfriend?
"Zihao, you've known Shanshan for a while now. Have you exchanged phone numbers or added each other on WeChat?" Aunt Fang asked.
Tang Zihao shook his head. Aunt Fang continued, "You silly boy, Shanshan is new here and doesn't know anyone. You should care for her and help her more. You two are about the same age; young people should interact more!"
I think she's taken a liking to Gao Shanshan and wants to set her up with her son. She was interested in Gao Shanshan before because she was pretty, and now that she sees Gao Shanshan's parents are respectable and her family is well-off, she's even more fond of her.
Mrs. Gao inquired about Tang Zihao from Aunt Fang, such as where he worked and which university he graduated from. When she heard that Tang Zihao graduated from the prestigious University of Electronic Science and Technology of China (a 985 university), she praised his excellent grades, saying he was much better than Gao Shanshan, who could only get into a junior college, and encouraged her daughter to learn from him.
My father said, "You can't say that. I think Shanshan has many qualities that Zihao can learn from. Not only is she good-looking, but she also has good emotional intelligence and is very generous in her dealings with people. She came to Chongqing alone to make her way in the world, which shows her drive. Unlike our Zihao, he's too much of a homebody and lacks drive."
He had this son in his middle age, and although he wasn't his biological son, he had always raised him as his own, so he loved Tang Zihao but was also strict with
him. Aunt Fang quickly said, "Old Tang, our son isn't entirely like that."
As a mother, she naturally wanted to protect her son in front of others, especially since she had already considered establishing a marriage alliance with Gao Shanshan's parents.
"Yes! Zihao looks like a good kid..." Gao's mother chuckled. "They're all young, they really should communicate more."
She then said to Gao Shanshan, "Shanshan! Add Zihao as a WeChat friend!"
Gao's mother understood the hidden meaning in Aunt Fang's words. She saw that although my brother wasn't exactly handsome, he was good-looking, tall enough, and the son of a university professor, so she actually thought highly of Tang Zihao.
"Okay," Gao Shanshan readily agreed, taking out her phone and swiping a few times before holding it out to Tang Zihao. "Brother Zihao, scan me."
Tang Zihao then took out his phone and scanned it. I secretly typed a line on my phone screen—"You're going to be my sister-in-law, right?" Then I showed it to Gao Shanshan, giving her a teasing smile.
She secretly pinched my thigh, staring at me with a half-smile. Soon I received a text message from her on WeChat—"So I'm going to be sleeping with my sister-in-law from now on?"
She smiled provocatively at me. I blushed and my heart raced. I looked at her coquettishly and kicked her under the table.

12.
We ate and chatted for a while longer. Somehow, I can't remember who started it, but we ended up talking about a celebrity coming out, which steered the conversation towards homosexuality.
When this topic came up, my dad inevitably became agitated. He said, "Homosexuality is absolutely a distorted social phenomenon, a pathological personality and a perverse sexual orientation. Society should not tolerate the existence of such an ugly phenomenon."
I immediately objected, feeling as if he was criticizing me and Gao Shanshan. Although I knew this might touch a nerve, I still said, "Dad, you can't say that. Existence is its own justification. Homosexuality is a sexual orientation, part of human nature. Besides, it doesn't harm others or society, so why discriminate against it?"
My dad said, "So, you're saying you approve of homosexuality?"
I patiently replied, "I never said I approved. But disapproval doesn't mean we have to be vehemently opposed. We should look at everything in the world in a diverse way, instead of being binary, seeing things as either this or that, black or white..."
Aunt Fang quickly gave me a wink, signaling me to stop talking. I still said, "Even if you don't approve, you should still have the necessary understanding and even respect for it."
My dad sneered, "Understand and respect? Tang Zifei, I think your thinking is very problematic. How come homosexuality doesn't harm society? Shouldn't the spread of AIDS be attributed to homosexuality? Can homosexuals have children? If everyone is homosexual, how will humanity reproduce?"
Aunt Fang tugged at my dad's sleeve and said, "Old Tang, stop talking..." As she spoke,
she looked at Gao Shanshan's parents with considerable apology and embarrassment. I decided to stand my ground with my dad. "AIDS isn't just caused by homosexuality. If every heterosexual and homosexual could practice safe sex, there wouldn't be such a widespread AIDS epidemic. Besides, homosexuality is only a minority behavior. Why can't humanity reproduce? Furthermore, human love isn't just about having children."
Aunt Fang quickly stopped me, "Zifei, say less..."
My dad was getting a little exasperated. "Tang Zifei, have you wasted all those years of schooling? Is this how you become a lawyer?"
I muttered, "What does this have to do with me being a lawyer?"
Aunt Fang said, "Alright! Stop talking, the guests are still here!"
Madam Gao laughed, "It's alright, it's alright, hehe..."
"What's wrong with you two today? Old Tang, why are you being so harsh with the child?" Aunt Fang said, then looked at me, "And you, Zifei, why are you arguing with your dad?"
After she finished speaking, she smiled at Mr. and Mrs. Gao, "I'm sorry, you two, I'm sorry to have made you laugh."
Mr. Gao smiled and said, "It's alright, it's normal to have different opinions on the same issue and to argue. Professor Tang is very knowledgeable, and Zifei is a lawyer with a lot of experience, they both spoke very well..."
I don't know if he was trying to save face for my dad? Or if he also disliked homosexuals, but he said to me, "However, Zifei, on this matter, I agree with your dad's point of view."
I smiled and said, "It's okay, brother, everyone can have their own opinions and thoughts, but we should allow others to speak their minds."
"Little aunt, stop talking." Aunt Fang stopped me again; she had treated me like her own daughter since I was little.
My dad said angrily, "Anyway, in my Tang Baoshan family, such ugly phenomena will never be allowed to exist."
"Oh dear! Old Tang, you still dare to say that?" Aunt Fang complained, "Our two kids are so normal! Zifei and Wenchao have been married for several years, and although Zihao hasn't dated much, he does like girls! You forgot that a few years ago, he had a crush on a female classmate for a long time, but he never dared to confess to her..."
"Mom!" Tang Zihao, who hadn't spoken until now, said indignantly, "Why are you dragging me into this? What does Dad and sister's argument have to do with me?"
Gao Shanshan, her parents, and my husband and I all laughed, which eased the increasingly tense atmosphere and put an end to the argument. On
October 5th, Gao Shanshan's parents and younger brother flew back to Xuzhou. That afternoon, Chen Lei invited my husband and me to go hiking and fishing at Lotus Lake the next day, and also asked me to bring Gao Shanshan along.
He had asked me out like this before, but it was canceled because Gao Shanshan's parents came. After they left, he asked me out again. My husband and I discussed it and agreed.
On October 6th, the four of us had a great time at Lotus Lake. Chen Lei was clearly interested in Gao Shanshan; he was always around her, patiently teaching her how to fish and taking many photos of her with his DSLR camera.
Seeing this, I felt a mix of emotions. My father's words echoed in my ears, and I thought about all the good things my husband had done for me in the past.
I thought, since my relationship with Gao Shanshan is unacceptable to my family, society, and societal norms, and since it's bound to end eventually, why not end it now that a man who likes Gao Shanshan is in her life? It's better than causing irreparable harm to my family, Gao Shanshan's family, and my husband in the future.
Despite my sadness, I made my decision in secret.
That evening, we went to Chen Lei's house and cooked a big pot of spicy fish with the few kilograms of crucian carp we had caught that afternoon, along with three stir-fried vegetable dishes. We enjoyed a
hearty meal. Just as I got home, I received a WeChat message from Gao Shanshan, inviting me to meet her the next day. Since the National Day holiday, we hadn't had a chance to spend time alone together. Although I really wanted to, I politely declined, saying I wasn't feeling well and needed to rest.
On the first day back to work after the National Day holiday, I went to Chen Lei's office and had a talk with him. I told him that if he really liked Gao Shanshan, I could support him and even help him get back together, but only if he treated Gao Shanshan well and absolutely didn't play with her feelings.
Chen Lei was overjoyed to hear this. He immediately said that he would never let Gao Shanshan down, and that he had never felt this way about any woman before. I laughed and said, "Don't be so quick to judge. You've only known her for a few days. Maybe it's just a three-minute infatuation?"
Chen Lei said seriously, "Zifei, I'm very sure of my feelings. From the first moment I saw Gao Shanshan in your office that night, I knew she was the woman I'd been waiting for all these years of being single. Please believe me!"
I also said seriously, "Remember what you said today, or I won't let you off the hook."
After leaving Chen Lei's office and returning to my own, I closed the door, rested my elbows on the desk, buried my head in my hands, and silently shed tears for a long time.
During that time, I kept avoiding meeting Gao Shanshan with various excuses, such as business trips or being busy with cases. She didn't express any lack of understanding, but just told me to focus on my work, take care of myself, and not ruin my health.
I did this for two reasons: first, I was afraid that meeting Gao Shanshan would shake my hard-won determination; second, I wanted to create opportunities for Chen Lei.
I told Chen Lei not to be too hasty and to proceed gradually to avoid backfiring. Chen Lei said he knew this was different from his previous attempts at dating; it was the first time he was seriously pursuing a girl, and he had to take it slow.
I deliberately acted coquettishly and said, "So when you were pursuing me in college, you weren't serious?"
The bastard pretended to be confused and innocent, "Did I ever pursue you? You were the one pursuing me back then, weren't you?"
I was so angry that I punched him and yelled, "Go to hell!"
One day, Gao Shanshan called me and said that Chen Lei wanted to meet her alone. I said, "You don't need to tell me about this. We're all friends. If you want to see him, then see him; if you don't want to see him, then find an excuse to cancel."
During this time, my brother Tang Zihao casually inquired about Gao Shanshan from me several times. I knew what he was thinking and laughed, "If you like her, go find her!"
The brat flatly denied it, "Who likes her? Just asking."
Looking at his flushed face, I chuckled to myself. I knew he was still traumatized by a past crush on a girl. He'd finally mustered the courage to confess his feelings after my encouragement, but before he could even speak, he discovered she was with another boy.
I later told my dad and Aunt Fang about it, and the brat ignored me for days.
Chen Lei and Tang Zihao, one my best friend and the other my brother, are completely different when it comes to women. Chen Lei, if he sets his sights on someone, will act on it, and his success rate is extremely high. Tang Zihao, on the other hand, is naturally shy and would rather keep his feelings to himself than confess or even admit it.
This time, however, I didn't encourage Tang Zihao to pursue Gao Shanshan, because I felt Gao Shanshan definitely wouldn't be interested in him. More importantly, Gao Shanshan and I had a past lesbian relationship, and if she got together with my brother, even if my brother didn't know, I would still feel uncomfortable.
One day in late October, Gao Shanshan asked me to meet again, and this time I didn't refuse.

13.
That day after work, I met Gao Shanshan at a very famous restaurant in Liziba called "Tea-Soaked Rice" (near the scenic spot where the light rail passes through the building and the filming location of the movie "I Belonged to You").
Sitting in a simple private room, outside the window was the Jialing River under the night sky, with rows of high-rise buildings on the opposite bank. It was evening, and the lights were just coming on.
We chatted for a while, and I asked her how things were going with Chen Lei lately? Did she see him often?
Gao Shanshan said she didn't see Chen Lei often; he had asked her out a few times, and she felt embarrassed to keep refusing, so she had met him twice. She then asked me with a smile if I was jealous. No wonder I haven't seen her these days?
I laughed, "How could that be? Chen Lei is my best male friend, and you're my sister. If you two are destined to be together, I'd be overjoyed!"
"Zifei, what do you mean?" Gao Shanshan looked at me, her smile freezing.
I smiled calmly, "Tell me honestly, do you like Chen Lei?"
She stared at me silently, her smile completely gone. I continued, "If you don't like Chen Lei, what do you think of my brother?"
Her expression grew increasingly unpleasant, but I ignored it all, "Don't let my brother's quiet demeanor fool you; I know he likes you, and he keeps asking me about you..."
"What exactly do you mean?" Gao Shanshan asked, already quite dissatisfied.
"What's wrong with you, Shanshan?" I said, feigning ignorance. "You're my sister. I think it would be great if you could be with my best friend or my brother!"
"Enough, Tang Zishan!" she suddenly shouted. "Ever since National Day, we've finally managed to meet once, and you keep telling me all this nonsense. Whether Chen Lei likes me or Tang Zihao likes me, what does it matter to me? What does it matter to us? Do you really want me to be with a man?"
The little girl stared at me resentfully, tears welling up in her eyes. She paused, then smiled and said, "Sister, you're joking, right?"
I looked at her for a moment, then said in a deep voice, "Shanshan, I'm not joking. I'm telling the truth."
Tears streamed down her face. She wiped them away and said, "Really? No wonder you haven't seen me for so many days. You wanted to push me onto another man."
She choked back a sob, staring at me and said, "Are you tired of me?"
Seeing her sorrowful expression, I felt a pang of pity, but I hardened my heart and said, "Shanshan, we have no future together. We're both women, and more importantly, I'm a married woman. My husband is your uncle. We..."
I trailed off, pausing before saying, "It's better for us to separate. It's better for both of us."
"But I love you, and you love me, don't you?" she said, her eyes brimming with tears.
My heart broke, but I said, "You heard what Dad said that day. His words represent the views of the vast majority of people on this kind of thing. This society simply cannot tolerate homosexuality..."
She continued to stare at me, tears streaming down her face. I continued, “Why do we have to be together? Besides, your father and my husband are cousins. If our affair is exposed, how will our two families get along? How will I face anyone? How will you face anyone?”
“I don’t care!” she cried, wiping away her tears. “I love you, and I want to be with you.”
I hadn’t expected her to be so deeply in love with me. I stared at her blankly for a long time before saying, “But I don’t love you. I don’t love you at all. I’ve never loved you.”
As I said these words, my heart ached. But I told myself I couldn’t be soft-hearted; this matter had to be resolved as soon as possible. This was a mistake, a mistake from the very beginning, and I absolutely couldn’t make the same mistake again.
Gao Shanshan stared at me incredulously through her tearful eyes. “What did you say?”
I said coldly, “I admit, I was indeed very happy when I was with you. Because I had never had such an experience before, not even a thrill. You gave me that. But now I’m tired of it, and this is not normal. We should end all of this.”
“You’re lying. You’re deceiving me,” she said, sobbing.
“Think what you want, I’m telling the truth.” I tried my best to appear indifferent, but tears were streaming down my face.
She suddenly stood up and knelt in front of me, grasping both my hands. Raising her tear-streaked face, she cried, “Zifei, I love you, I really love you. Don’t leave me, let’s be together, okay?”
My tears were also welling up, but I held them back and said coldly, “That’s impossible…”
She looked at me and cried, “Why? Are you so heartless?”
I couldn’t bear to look into her tearful eyes. Looking away, I used my right hand to pry her hand off my left, and then my left hand to pry her other hand off my right. I broke free, stood up, and walked out of the private room.
“Zifei…” Gao Shanshan cried, calling after me.
I paused briefly, but didn’t turn around or look back. I said, “I’ve already paid the bill, I’ll go first.”
After saying that, I left the private room. Behind me, I heard her sobbing, and I also shed tears I had been holding back for so long.
For the next few days, Gao Shanshan and I didn’t contact each other. Several times, I wanted to call her or contact her on WeChat to ask how she was doing, and I even impulsively considered telling her that I took back what I said that night and that we should get back together.
But I forced myself to give up those thoughts. I thought, let's just end it like this? It's better for both of us.
I didn't expect that one day Jiang Mei would suddenly come to my law firm to see me. When I saw her in the lobby, I was quite surprised. She nodded at me and smiled, saying "Zifei."
I took Jiang Mei to the coffee shop downstairs. She wasn't my client, and I didn't want to talk to her about my mother and me, or about her and my mother's private affairs, in the office.
"What do you want?" I stirred my coffee, asking coldly without looking up.
As I've said before, although I didn't hate Jiang Mei much anymore, I was still filled with indifference and disgust towards her. The fact that I was sitting here talking to her was already the maximum amount of restraint I could muster.
"Zifei, do you still resent your mother?" Jiang Mei smiled at me.
I stopped stirring my coffee, took a sip, and didn't say anything. She smiled slightly and said, "I know you must still resent her..."
She glanced out the window, then looked at me again, "Do you know? For the past twenty-odd years, not a single day has passed without your mother thinking of you. She often sees you in her dreams, and has woken up calling your name many times."
My tears welled up. For the past twenty-odd years, hadn't I been the same? Although I usually managed not to think of her, every midnight I would wake up with tears soaking my pillow because of missing her.
How could someone who lost their mother when they were still a little girl not miss her? Even if you hate her, you'll still think of her; the more you hate, the more you think, and the more you think, the more you hate. That's how I've lived all these years.
I said coldly, "What you're telling me has nothing to do with me. And even so, why was she so heartless back then?"
"She wasn't heartless, she had no choice. If she could have taken you with her, why would she have made such a painful choice?" Jiang Mei said.
I sneered, "But between you and me, she chose you."
Jiang Mei was speechless for a moment, and lowered her head. After a long silence, I said, "Tell me? How did you two start?"
At that moment, the image of my mother and the woman in front of me, naked and embracing in the bathtub, which I had seen when I was a child, vividly resurfaced in my mind.
"Didn't your mother tell you?" Jiang Mei asked.
“I want to hear your story,”
she sighed. “I was eighteen that year, just starting my job, and that’s when I met your mother for the first time. She was six years older than me and had given birth to you three years prior.”
“I’m certain I was captivated by Huiling the first time I saw her. I was clueless then, and my workplace had Huiling mentor me, so you could say she was my mentor.”
“A few months later, we fell in love. I’d never been interested in boys, only girls, but Huiling wasn’t. It was the first time either of us had been with a woman. At the beginning, she struggled and hesitated, feeling guilty towards your father and worried about the societal pressure.”
“But she still stayed with me without hesitation, because we couldn’t live without each other, feeling that life was meaningless without the other. We loved each other deeply and longed to live in an environment relatively tolerant of homosexuality…”
Hearing this, I realized how similar my current experiences and feelings were to my mother’s. I was experiencing what my mother went through.
"God gave us an opportunity. My widowed aunt passed away in America, and she designated me to go there to inherit her estate. So I went, and two years later, I brought your mother there. We originally planned to take you with us and raise you as our shared child..." "
But before your mother left, she didn't want to cause your father too much of a blow, so she left you behind temporarily. We planned to come back for you in a few years, but as you grew older, it became more and more difficult. You even refused to see Huiling, so it's been postponed until now."
I quickly wiped away the tears welling up in my eyes and asked, "Did you...get married in America?"

14.
Jiang Mei took a sip of coffee, nodded, and said, "We got our marriage certificate the year before last. You're a lawyer, so you might know that the US only passed same-sex marriage law in 2015. Before that, we got our marriage certificate once in the Netherlands in 2001."
I asked again, "So, do you have children? I mean, children conceived through artificial insemination. Isn't that common among lesbian couples there?"
Because I now understood my mother's feelings back then, I found myself talking more with Jiang Mei, hoping to learn more about their lives. Or rather, to understand the lives of a same-sex couple through them.
Jiang Mei smiled and said, "We adopted a child, a girl who is half white and half Chinese. We adopted her when she was ten years old, and now she's twenty and in college over there."
"What does she usually call you?"
"She calls me 'Meimei's Mom,' and your mom 'Huiling's Mom.'"
"Is she accepting having two lesbian mothers?"
Jiang Mei smiled again, "Of course, the environment there is very open. She's been an American since she was little, and she doesn't feel uncomfortable at all. She thinks she lives in a very normal family."
I asked again, "Are you happy now?"
She smiled, "Of course, we still love each other very much, still as much as we loved each other when we were young. Because of that, we've never gotten tired of each other..." She
blushed a little as she said this, "Even now, our sexual needs are still very strong; we make love several times a week. After all, I'm only in my forties, which, according to the old Chinese saying, is the prime of my life, and your mom is only in her early fifties..."
“We even feel that we were lovers in a past life, which is why we've met again in this life. It's just that fate got one of us wrong in this life, so we have to be same-sex lovers.”
Jiang Mei’s words really struck me. I wondered, could it be that Gao Shanshan and I are like that too? We were a couple in a past life, and now we’re same-sex lovers again? Maybe that’s why Gao Shanshan fell in love with me the first time she saw me when she was fourteen, and why I fell in love with her at first sight, uncontrollably, when we met again years later?
At the same time, I felt that having such love was truly enviable. Thinking this, I even began to understand my mother's behavior back then. But I still couldn't forgive her.
In mid-November, I went to Sanya to attend a two-week seminar for young lawyers organized by the Chongqing Lawyers Association.
The night before I left, it was raining when I suddenly received a call from Gao Shanshan. This was the first time she had contacted me in all those days.
I glanced at my husband, who was watching TV, and pressed the answer button.
"I need to see you," Gao Shanshan said immediately, and I could hear the resentment in her voice.
"Now?" I asked as I walked to the balcony.
"Yes, I'm at the entrance of your apartment complex."
I was startled and glanced at my husband in the living room, then said softly, "It's not convenient."
"Is your husband home?"
"Yes."
"Okay, if you don't come out, I'll go to your house now and tell your husband everything about us..." Gao Shanshan said without hesitation, adding at the end, "I mean what I say."
I was silent for a moment and said, "Okay, wait for me."
Returning to the living room, my husband asked who had called. I said it was Shanshan, and she asked me to go see her. My husband was quite surprised, saying it was late and I had a flight to catch tomorrow morning! What happened to that girl?
I said I didn't know yet, but she'd probably broken up with her boyfriend; she was crying a lot. My husband laughed, "She broke up with her boyfriend? Someone as pretty as her should be the one dumping others, not the other way around!"
I said, "What are you saying? Anyone can experience heartbreak." My husband said he'd come with me, but I said, "You're a grown man, don't get involved."
Because it was raining and nighttime, I decided to drive out and talk to Gao Shanshan in the car.
As soon as I drove out of the complex, I saw Gao Shanshan standing alone in the rain, her hair and clothes soaked.
I felt a pang of sympathy and quickly rolled down the front right window, calling loudly for her to get in. Once she was in the car, I rolled up the window and scolded her, "Why are you standing in the rain without an umbrella? Don't you know how to get out?"
She didn't say anything, just looked at me and cried. I picked up the towel I usually used to wipe the windshield (it wasn't perfectly clean, but at least it was dry) and dried her hair, continuing to complain as I did so: "You're such a worry, you're trying to drive me crazy!"
She looked at me with tears in her eyes, choking back sobs, "Will you feel sorry for me?"
Her pitiful appearance softened my heart completely, and I gave her a loving, disapproving look. "Of course!"
"You're lying. You don't even love me, how could you feel sorry for me?"
I put down the towel, looked at the windshield, and said softly, "I don't even know how much I love you."
She immediately stopped crying and smiled. "Really?"
I smiled and nodded at her. She smiled back, wrapped her arms around my neck, and kissed me. We kissed, passionately, deeply, utterly intoxicated by each other's love.
When I saw Gao Shanshan in the rain just now, I decided not to talk to her about anything. Ever since I heard my mother and Jiang Mei's story that day, I've thought a lot these past few days. At that moment, I decided that even if Gao Shanshan and I were on a leaky boat, I would row with her to the middle of the water, even if we sank.
After we parted, she said, "Want to come to my place?"
"Yeah, to yours," I said, and we smiled at each other. We shifted gears and drove off in the night rain.
As I drove, I kept glancing at Gao Shanshan and smiling, and she smiled back at me. Suddenly, she said, "Tang Zifei, you old woman."
I replied, "Gao Shanshan, you little vixen."
We laughed heartily. She said again, "Tang Zifei, you old woman, you're driving me crazy."
I said again, "Gao Shanshan, you little vixen, you've ruined me."
We laughed again, looking at each other, tears streaming down our faces.
Under the shower in the bathroom, Gao Shanshan and I kissed and caressed each other. I picked her up and sat her on the sink, and we kissed passionately again.
In the brief pause, I asked, "Shanshan, do you love me?"
She wrapped her arms around my neck, her eyes glazed over as if intoxicated, and said in a daze, "I love you, I love you so much!"
"I love you too," I said passionately, kissing her lips again.
Then, my lips moved downwards, sucking on her nipples for a while before continuing down to her labia, licking them up and down until she reached climax.
We dried ourselves and went to bed. She lay on top of me, kissing and caressing me, kissing and caressing my entire body, finally kissing between my legs.
Her lips lingered there for a long time, then she straightened up, parted my legs, and spread her long legs, pressing her penis tightly against mine, moving her hips and swaying her waist.
We rubbed against each other like this, our moans echoing throughout the room. Gradually, she leaned back, elbows on the bed, and continued to rub against me, our eyes locked in a passionate embrace, our moans mingling and echoing in the room…
After our passion subsided, we lay in each other's arms, Gao Shanshan nestled in my embrace, and said softly, “Zifei, do you know? These past few days I haven't had the energy to do anything. I think about you every day and night, every moment. Look…”
She sat up, brushed a strand of her hair aside, and pouted, “I've lost so much hair thinking about you.”
I laughed, “You haven't lost much! You still have a full head of black hair.”
“It’s a head full of worries,” she laughed, leaning over me, her full breasts pressing against mine.
“Why did you lie to me before?”
“If I didn’t do this, how could I make you love me more?” I laughed, “I was playing hard to get.”
“You still dare to play hard to get?” she said, squeezing the outer sides of my breasts with both hands.
“Gently, you’re hurting my nipples,” I said coquettishly.
“I’m going to pinch you until it hurts, who told you to treat me like that?” she laughed. “Hehe! Your breasts aren’t as big as mine, don’t believe me? Let’s compare.”
As she spoke, she lifted her upper body and rubbed her nipples against mine. I said, “I’m lying down, so they naturally look smaller. It’s not fair for you to compare them like that.”
She laughed, “They’re never as big as mine.”
She continued to rub my nipples. Gradually, our eyes became hazy, and we started kissing passionately again. Just then, my phone rang. I picked it up and saw it was my husband calling.
I put it to my ear and answered, “Honey…”
“How’s Shanshan?” he asked.
I said I was much better. He asked when I was coming home. I said I was about to go home.
I put down my phone, and Gao Shanshan asked, “You’re not staying here tonight?”
“Yes!”
“Then what did you say to him when you came over?”
“I said you broke up with your boyfriend and came to comfort you.”
She sat up and said, “This lady wouldn’t break up with anyone! I’m the one who dumped someone else.”
“That’s what he said too.” I sat up as well and pinched her face.
"Hehe, Uncle really understands me." She laughed, then sighed. "But you know what? I really did break up with my boyfriend before, all because of you."
She looked at me coquettishly. I patted her cheek again and laughed, "So, I wasn't lying to him! But it's all good now. You can go back and tell him that the guy just called you, and you two made up."
As I spoke, I prepared to get out of bed and go outside to get dressed. When we came in earlier, we had taken off all our clothes, including our bras and panties, in the living room.
She hugged me from behind and said, "If you don't want to leave, just tell Uncle to stay here with me!"
I said, "I have to catch a flight to Sanya tomorrow morning!"
"When are you coming back?"
"In about two weeks! I'm attending a seminar."
"Ah? That long?" she said, surprised and unwilling.
I reached behind her and patted her cheek. "Two weeks will pass quickly, and then we can be together every day."
She moved to my side, put her hands on my shoulders, and said, "Zifei, can we really be together from now on? You won't say you don't want me anymore, will you?"
I smiled and nodded at her. A smile bloomed on her face, and she kissed my lips again.

15.
That night, I went home and had sex with my husband. Because I was going on a long trip the next day and wouldn't be back for two weeks, I still had to fulfill my wifely duties.
I found that since I got together with Gao Shanshan, sex with my husband had become increasingly dull, and I could never reach orgasm. Every time, he was passionate, while I was silent and trembling. Sometimes, to appease him, I had to pretend to be happy and moan a few times.
My husband also noticed this phenomenon. Once, he asked me what was wrong? Was I not satisfied with his performance? I said no, you're great, it's my problem.
My husband laughed and said, "You're at the age of thirty, like a wolf, how can you be like this?" I could only say that I hadn't been feeling very sexually active lately, maybe I was just going through a low period.
My husband suddenly asked, "Zifei, are you having an affair?"
I was secretly startled, but I forced myself to remain calm and glared at him, saying, "What nonsense are you talking about? I don't have any other men besides you. Don't you trust your wife that much?"
My husband could only force a smile, "Don't be angry, I was just asking casually."
As I said this, I felt a pang of guilt. I wasn't lying to him, because I really didn't have any other men, but I had also lied to him, because I was having an affair with a woman, and this woman was his cousin.
I was somewhat surprised; perhaps Gao Shanshan had completely turned me gay? To the point that I had no appetite for men anymore.
To completely dispel my husband's suspicions, I took a defensive stance, saying, "Gao Wenchao, do you believe me? Even if you have another woman outside, I can't possibly have another man."
My husband quickly smiled again, "Wife, I believe you, I believe you..."
Seeing me staring at him, he immediately changed his tune, "I can't possibly have another woman either..."
At that moment, I didn't realize that my words would become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
The next day, I flew to Sanya to attend a two-week seminar for young lawyers.
There were over two hundred participants, all young lawyers under the age of 35 from various law firms in Chongqing. Due to limited spots, not every law firm could send anyone. Our firm managed to secure one spot because Chen Lei had participated in a similar event a few years prior, so the director gave it to me.
The seminar was held at Hainan Tropical Ocean University, where the organizers rented four classrooms, dividing the classes into four groups. The instructors were several senior professors from my alma mater, Southwest University of Political Science and Law, and several senior lawyers from well-known Chongqing law firms.
Our hotel was located in Sanya Bay; it was large, luxurious, and had a beautiful view, less than ten kilometers from Hainan Tropical Ocean University.
Four buses provided transportation each day. Classes started at 9:30 AM, with lunch at the university cafeteria, and ended at 3:00 PM. The curriculum included systematic theoretical lectures, case discussions, and a mock court debate before the seminar concluded. Outstanding participants were selected based on their overall performance in class.
The most relaxing and enjoyable time for the trainees each day was after returning to the hotel in the afternoon.
Our hotel was located right next to the azure sea, and just across the street was a beach with beach chairs and sunshades provided by the hotel.
The hotel also had comprehensive recreational facilities, including a bathhouse, sauna, bar, billiards room, and karaoke.
Each day after returning to the hotel, we would either swim in the sea, enjoying the blue sky, white clouds, and silver sand, or go to the sauna, spa, play billiards, drink, sing karaoke, and so on.
However, apart from swimming, the other recreational activities were not included in the room rate and had to be paid for separately. Therefore, swimming was generally the most popular choice.
Sanya is an international tourist resort, and this hotel housed many foreigners. Whether in the hotel lobby, restaurants, bars, or on the beach, blond-haired, blue-eyed, fair-skinned foreigners were everywhere.
Foreigners were indeed very open-minded; the foreign women on the beach, regardless of age, appearance, or weight, all wore revealing bikinis, exposing most of their breasts and buttocks. When they sunbathed, they would unhook their bikini bras, exposing their entire backs, and then fasten them again before standing up or turning over.
Some foreign women didn't even wear bras when they stood up, simply covering their breasts with their arms; some didn't even bother to cover themselves, letting their large breasts sway in front of others.
These alluring scenes made the male students among us blush and our hearts race, so we could only pretend to look straight ahead while secretly looking for opportunities to steal glances.
Breakfast and dinner were served daily at the hotel restaurant, and were quite lavish, especially dinner, which included seafood at every meal. I almost developed an allergy, so I had to buy some allergy medication just in case.
To further enrich the students' leisure time, the organizers would also organize sightseeing trips to Sanya during the weekends. All expenses for the seminar were shared equally between the organizers and the law firms with participating students.
I was lucky because there were very few female lawyers, and it was an odd number, so I got a single room, a sea-view room, though the firm had to pay for it all. I called the director and told him I'd pay half, and he said I didn't need to pay out of pocket; he'd reimburse me.
I think attending this seminar was really great. It improved my professional skills, allowed me to network with colleagues from other firms, and gave me a relaxing vacation in such a beautiful place—it was a win-win situation.
Even so, I really hoped the seminar would end soon, the sooner the better. Because I couldn't see Gao Shanshan during this time; I had to wait until the seminar ended, which was really tough for both of us.
After all, in the month and a half since National Day, Gao Shanshan and I had only seen each other twice: once when I broke up with her, and the other was the night before I came to Sanya. And after we got back together that night, I felt we loved each other even more than before.
I think she misses him terribly, and so does she. We miss each other so much that we talk about our longing for each other on the phone and WeChat every day, sharing the time we've spent together.
During one phone call, the young woman said these past few days had been incredibly difficult, like they were dragging on forever, and she started crying. I felt the same way; I shed tears too, comforting her that the next ten days would pass quickly and we would see each other soon.
Chen Lei called me once, telling me that this seminar was far better than the one he attended last time. He said that last time they found a hot spring resort outside Chongqing, and the trip only lasted a week. This time, we've moved to Sanya and are staying in a five-star hotel in Sanya Bay—it's unbelievable!
"You're so lucky!" the bastard said shamelessly on the other end of the phone, filled with envy and jealousy. "By the way, didn't you say you were staying in a standard room all by yourself? The director is even reimbursing you for everything. Why don't I come and stay with you? It'd be making the most of your resources, not wasting the institute's money, and you wouldn't be lonely and sleepless."
"Fuck you, get lost!" I cursed.
It was my fifth day in Sanya, a Thursday. After dinner, as I was heading back to my room, several male lawyers invited me to play board games at the hotel bar. Since there were few female lawyers, and I was the prettiest among them, I naturally attracted their attention.
I politely declined, saying I hadn't slept well the night before and wanted to rest in my room. Back in my room, I dialed Gao Shanshan's number, intending to have a long phone call to pass the time without her and ease my longing.
I heard some noise on her end and asked what she was doing. Gao Shanshan said she was having dinner with some colleagues. I asked if they were men or women. She said there were both.
I laughed, "You're not allowed to have anything happen with any woman? Not even with men."
She laughed too, "Then will you spend a romantic night with some male or female lawyer?"
I said, "Right now, I only have eyes for you. No one else, man or woman, can catch my eye."
She laughed, "Me too..."
Then she told me her colleagues were calling her. I said, "Go ahead!" Let's talk later.
After talking to Gao Shanshan, I watched TV for a while, but there wasn't anything good. Then I went for a walk on the beach, took a shower, and changed into the short bathrobe provided by the hotel.
It was almost 10 p.m., and Gao Shanshan still hadn't called. I wondered if she hadn't finished her dinner party yet. Maybe she went out with her colleagues again?
I called her again, and she said she had just finished and was on her way home, and would call me when she got home. I said okay, don't rush, be careful.
A little while later, Gao Shanshan called back, saying she had ordered a milk tea for me online and asked if I was in my room. She said the delivery guy would bring it over soon.
I laughed, "You silly girl, why are you drinking milk tea so late?"
She laughed, "I missed you! So I ordered one for you."
I asked her if she was home yet. She said not yet, but soon. I said let's talk later.
At 10:15 p.m., Gao Shanshan called again, asking if the milk tea had arrived. I said no! I asked her if she got home. She said she did.
I then asked what she ate for dinner. She said she had firewood chicken, which was quite delicious. After dinner, she went to karaoke with her colleagues. She didn't want to go, but her colleagues insisted, so she had to go with them for a while before making an excuse to leave. I laughed and said, "No wonder you never call me. I thought you forgot!"
Just then, the doorbell rang. I said it was probably the milk tea and told her not to hang up.
I went to open the door and was immediately stunned. Gao Shanshan was standing gracefully outside, wearing Bluetooth earphones, a small bag slung over her shoulder, her right hand resting on the handle of a small suitcase, and a cup of milk tea in her left hand.
"Excuse me, are you Ms. Tang Zifei? This is the milk tea your friend ordered for you. Please sign for it," she said with a smile.
Tears immediately streamed down my face.

(To be continued)

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I was turned gay by my husband's niece (11-15)

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