[Dormitory Chronicles: A Pure First Love]

A memory worth treasuring for a lifetime: Mingming. Just like her name, she was fresh and bright,

like the brilliant sunlight shining through the clouds; she was gentle and lovely, like the glistening dew on a morning glory in early summer; she was healthy

and tender, like a plump and round fruit in autumn.
Besides schoolwork and exercise, my mind was filled with her image. Every day I began to foolishly miss her.
Her appearance made me forget my long, ignorant, and fruitless 1644 days of unrequited love; her appearance made
me forget my long and painful one-sided crush. I didn't even have the energy to greet other girls

.
I thought, since I already have a priceless gem, why look back and pick up those seemingly familiar stones

?
In the afternoon, I sat alone by the window, opened it, and quietly watched the spring rain dance. The fresh air, carrying

the fragrance of green grass and flowers, was intoxicating. I asked myself, why am I so infatuated with this sprite? I don't know, nonetheless

. Her aura? Her gentleness, or...? Perhaps no answer is the best answer.
In my dream, I held her in my hands, like cradling a precious gem bestowed by heaven, a sparkling jewel.

Gazing at the gem in the gentle breeze, I seemed to have grasped a profound meaning.
She could stay, of course, because I would cherish her, protect her, and give her as much warmth and care as possible;
she could choose to leave, because the gem's arrival might have been too swift, so suffocating, numbing, and bewildering…

Her departure might be silent, leaving only sweet memories and bitter sorrow, like a cup of rich, fragrant

coffee mixed with intoxicating vodka…
You can go to the place of your dreams, soar freely.
*** *** *** ***
This was the true feeling I had when I first met my girlfriend, a feeling that truly thrilled me for a long time. Now,

it seems like a sealed memory, not worth dwelling on. But those past experiences are still worth sharing

with .
That was several months ago…
When I was studying, I would always wander around the main building. Actually, it wasn't just me; many single

guys did the same. Partly, it was to find a popular classroom, but more often, it was to find pretty girls in

a popular classroom. I, on the other hand, hoped to encounter a strange romance.
After all, university campuses aren't fairy tales; the gap between ideals and reality still exists here.
I waited and hoped for a long time, but love didn't come. Instead, I developed the habit of simply waiting in a study room.

Later, when I was impulsively thinking about taking the postgraduate entrance exam, I simply pretended to be righteous and sat alone in a corner…
Love might happen in a glance, or even a chance encounter…
I was still studying in my favorite classroom on a late summer evening. It was already 8 o'clock. Hmm, I should go

get some hot water, otherwise the hot water room would be closed. Thinking of this, I got up to leave. At this moment, I saw a

girl with medium-length, layered hair tidying up her laptop on her desk behind me. "Heh, she's really rich,"
I thought to myself.
"Excuse me, I need to get some water. Could you watch my things for me?"
I turned my head and a pretty face came into view. We were about four meters apart. I could clearly see

her big, clear eyes, smooth skin with a delicate and rosy glow, pink and

glossy lips, and a slight smile revealing her pearly white teeth. Her hair seemed very flowing and soft. She was about 167 cm tall,

wearing a tight pink short-sleeved top and dark blue skinny jeans, paired with canvas shoes...
In just a few seconds, I suddenly realized that I had lost my composure. How could I stare at a girl for so long?

I felt my face suddenly getting hot and red...
"Sure, but..." I lowered my head, still very shy.
"What…" She saw the large cup in my hand. "Let me get you some water, here."
My hand instinctively handed her the cup. Her radiant smile captivated me. To be honest,

despite being usually quite self-centered, even extremely

disapproving stood frozen, as if electrocuted. Luckily, there weren't many people studying at the time, or it would have been so embarrassing.
After standing there for a while, it dawned on me. Oh, ah, hehe, haha. I was so carried away.
I took the English book I was reading and placed it in front of her computer, wanting her to know I was happy to help her

.
While waiting for her to return with the water, I thought about many things, far too many. It seemed I foresaw our

bright …
"Hi, reading? Thanks." A youthful face, radiating warmth and enthusiasm, appeared.
I took the cup. "Thank you too. By the way, which department are you in?"
"I'm in finance, and you?"
"Oh, I'm..."
The conversation quickly bridged the gap between us. Suddenly, I realized we felt like we'd known each other for ages.

We chatted on and off from 8 to 10 pm. I'd already taken my bag to her seat. She was in

the finance department, and even prettier than those so-called "department beauties"! Of course, our way of chatting was very primitive; we

wrote down our situations on scrap paper, haha. It was so much fun. There was no way around it, since we couldn't talk in the classroom. After evening self-study

, there was still half an hour until 11 pm. I offered to walk her back to her dorm, and she readily agreed.

I could tell from her eyes, her movements, and her relaxed demeanor that she liked me.
Walking along the road, my heart raced. I suddenly felt so happy, being able to

escort . Walking along the tree-lined path on the west side of the campus, it felt like I'd been led there

by fate . This is a lovers' paradise; the streetlights are only lit from a distance, and double chairs are spaced several meters

apart. Under the streetlights, students studying for the GRE and TOEFL are diligently working out; in the shadows,

couples frolicking, though students don't go too far.
We sat together, seemingly without any physical contact, just chatting until late, right before

lights out…
I couldn't sleep. I couldn't listen to the skinny girl's stories about prostitutes anymore, I didn't want to discuss her

prowess , and I didn't want to hear about the Beijing guy's sexual experiences. I was in love, or at least I was in love with her.
Maybe this is what love at first sight is like. So classic, huh? Heh.
The arrival of love made me forget everything, and life started to be happy again.
I woke up very early in the morning, eager to see her. A little after 7 a.m., I appeared at the girls' dormitory

entrance , and she was there too. I gave her a ride on my bicycle to the cafeteria; it was quiet then.
Bathed in the morning sunlight on the tree-lined path, she wrapped her arm around my waist. I was so happy I felt like I was dying…
At noon, I waited for her outside her classroom. We ate together; I taught her about nutrition, she

told me about beauty, and I shared fitness tips.
In the afternoon, after dinner, I filled all her thermos flasks with hot water, even cooking for all her roommates.
They were jealous but also happy…
In the evenings, during self-study, when I was tired, looking at her beautiful face beside me gave me strength. At that time,

my love was pure, so pure that even kissing seemed like a luxury, and I dared not even think about anything romantic… Strangely

, my previously strong libido had been replaced by a strong lust. I cherished her, thought about her constantly,

and abandoned my previous childish thoughts. I had matured a lot. I thought, "Just being like this makes me happy."
Everything changed so fast, so fast that I couldn't accept it...
More than a month passed in the blink of an eye. I wanted to take the postgraduate entrance exam; actually, it was just a momentary impulse. So

I rented a place near the school and settled in. Because we were both busy with our studies, we suddenly seemed like strangers.
But we still called each other occasionally. Sometimes she would ask me to go to study hall, but I had to

leave early for evening study hall, otherwise I would miss the closing time of the gate closest to the community.
But our love was still kept alive by phone calls.
This lasted for about a few weeks. I swear, during this time, I only ever held her hand, because I

felt that touching her or kissing her would be a desecration of her soul.
One day in April, I was making animations on my computer at home (friends of Kongxinghu will see this), when suddenly

the phone rang. It was her, and we talked for a long time. Besides talking about missing each other, she somehow brought up

sex. Listening to her talk, I felt my glans getting hot and my penis becoming engorged with blood.
Although this article doesn't include any sexual descriptions, and perhaps pure love is better, I don't want to

hide my feelings…
"What do you want to do this afternoon?" she changed the subject.
"I want to go to school to study later, baby."
"If I come to find you, will you still go?"
"Find me? Now? What for, my baby?" At that moment, I really didn't know she actually wanted to have sex.

I only had the thought for a moment, but immediately realized it was impossible, because we usually didn't even kiss.
"Do you want to?" After she said that, she suddenly became very quiet.
"What?" I broke out in a sweat; I hadn't expected that.
"If I come, will you still go to study?" Her breathing became rapid.
"Really? Baby? You…" I stammered, but my penis was already hard!
"I want to have sex with you." After she finished speaking, there was no sound.
"I want to too. But… I've never done it before." I was telling the truth; I hate lying!
"I have no experience either, but I love you so much." There was silence again.
"Then I'll wait for you." I was excited; I almost said it in a trembling voice.
It's only an 11-minute walk from school to my house. At most, it should take 15 minutes. But

in those 15 minutes, I seemed to experience the time delay described in Einstein's theory of relativity. I immediately checked

my computer records, found information about sex, and memorized it—I was so adorably naive back then. Then I

worked out for a while, haha. She wouldn't do anything, she was just chatting with me.
I was still so naively thinking that. Sigh…
I did have feelings for her, and I did have inappropriate thoughts about her, but I always calmed myself down. "I truly love her

, I'm serious," I repeatedly told myself.
But now, I feel like I'm living in a dream. Is what she said true? Is it true? I slapped my head,

even tugged at my hair.
I was so excited. I poured some hot water, took out some soap,

soaked , then lathered it with soap and massaged it in the foam, pulling back the foreskin (actually, the glans

was already waiting outside). I discovered my penis head was incredibly sensitive; every rub of soap lather triggered

the urge to ejaculate.
I quickly tidied up the room and waited for her.
She finally arrived, and after a brief eye contact, I laughed. I figured we couldn't possibly

have sex . Heh. I washed an apple for her, and she obediently sat down, her eyes filled with anticipation, but

I didn't dare touch her!
She sat at my computer, and I remembered I had Americania 2, so

to ease the tension, I suggested we watch this hilarious movie together.
She seemed reluctant to watch, and I secretly observed her; she looked very agitated, completely oblivious to

the plot.
About 20 minutes in, she suddenly lay down beside me.
"I'm not watching anymore, it's boring."
"Then, let me give you a massage." I didn't know how to respond, but my penis was already erect.

I was wearing tight underwear, which tightly wrapped around my penis, covering the restless, engorged glans.
She lay there obediently, and I began to give her a sexual massage, which was very relaxing and comfortable. I can guarantee it!!
But at the beginning, she was clothed. Even so, I could still feel her body temperature. I was very careful

to avoid her sensitive areas, such as her breasts and inner thighs; I only massaged and soothed her neck and

back…
Her breathing began to quicken. I also began to feel a little unable to contain my emotions. After all, we were like dry

tinder … When she turned over to face me, our eyes met, and I saw

the love in her eyes, as well as her anxious desire. I slightly parted my lips, and she gently parted hers,

and our lips met. Then we embraced, and I felt her swollen breasts,

firm against my chest. I was only wearing a thin, tight-fitting top and tight jeans.
We kissed passionately; I really loved her, and all my love for her was in the kiss. I fully expressed myself.

I used my lips to gently suckle, my tongue to tease, the tip swirling around. I felt her saliva, her

breath, her fragrance…
We were both wearing tight clothes, unable to contain our fiery bodies.
I caressed her through her clothes, continuing to kiss her.
“I love you, Mingming, I love you,” I whispered in her ear, kissing her earlobe.
We embraced tightly, continuing our passionate kisses, rubbing our bodies together. At this moment, my whole body

was hot…
I gently caressed her breasts with my warm hands, slipping my hand under her tight top. She didn’t resist

at all . Instead, she welcomed my hands, trembling slightly…
My engorged penis gently pressed against her vulva through her pants.
She lay flat, arms outstretched, and I tacitly removed her tight clothes. She

smiled shyly at me. Her pink breasts sprang out, full and firm, their vitality and passion undeniable even through her bra

. I began to caress these two full peaches with my hands. I massaged her entire breast with my hands, then

gently circled it, sometimes fast, sometimes slow. I lowered my head, using my lips and tongue to kiss her breast and suckle

her nipples …
Her nipples were like two ripe grapes, glistening pink and firm. I would

cover her entire breast with my fingers, gently pinching her nipples and slowly caressing them (*This was all

theoretical , and now I finally had the chance to put it into practice). Sometimes strong, sometimes weak.
My fingertips gently stroked the curves of her breasts from top to bottom, gently circling around her nipples.
She began to pant softly, and I saw her pink face flush.
I gently bit her nipple with my lips, then used my tongue to rotate it, letting her nipple rotate gently…
We were both intoxicated, comfortably enjoying the pleasure of caresses; to be precise, I was leading her

to discover the beauty of sex…
My penis was already very hot, and I stripped myself completely naked, somewhat impatiently throwing my clothes on the ground.
She shyly covered her eyes. A little embarrassed, I quickly kissed her and continued my caresses.
My attention was focused on my precious penis. A long, erect shaft, engorged and

swollen, with some veins coiled around it, sprang from among the curly pubic hair. I masturbated a couple of times, pushing the glans out forcefully. "Ah...mmm..."
It felt so good, much better than masturbating, at least psychologically.
The glans had changed from pink to red, then swelled and enlarged, and now it was a deep burgundy

... The pubic hair was curly at the base of my penis...
Her pants were tight-fitting jeans without a belt. I kissed her as I unzipped them, and she

cooperated by gently wriggling her body. I easily pulled her pants off.
Such fair and tender thighs! I exclaimed sincerely. I started kissing her thighs…
Some pubic hair peeked out from the base of her thighs near her pubic area, and her cute white

panties were already soaked with love juice. I began to lightly touch and sweep my tongue across her thighs, from the outside to the inside…

Just as I was about to kiss her lovely mons pubis, she pushed me away…
Hehe. I think she was probably shy.
She breathed softly, without exaggerated moans; she groaned, without violent shaking.
She unhooked her bra herself, and because I was so clumsy, her full, round breasts popped out

. She immediately hugged me tightly, and I felt as if two hot flames were burning in my chest, and

two happy little rabbits were jumping around… I can't describe how I felt at that moment. I loved her, I possessed her, and at that moment

, skin to skin with hers, I even wanted to give a speech like a declaration of independence!
Then her lovely panties came off easily and smoothly... We were completely

undressed ... I continued to caress her breasts and thighs, our skin pressed tightly together, still rubbing against each other

... I continued to kiss her lips, earlobes, behind her ears, neck, breasts, lower abdomen, waist...
She gasped softly, her eyes tightly closed. But I could read her joy and happiness on her face...
She produced so much love juice, I hadn't expected so much, like a gentle stream

flowing from between her tightly closed legs. I embraced her, and as my hands caressed her, my hands reached to her

full buttocks. I caressed her buttocks from behind, touching her lovely vulva from her anus. Even though she had her

legs closed, I could still feel some pubic hair there.
Taking advantage of the opportunity to kiss and caress her thighs again, I focused my attention on her garden.
She was so shy, keeping her legs tightly closed, so I had no chance to see it.
I whispered in her ear, "Baby, I love you. I'll make you feel very comfortable, trust me."
"This is my first time, darling, I'm a little scared."
"I'll be gentle, okay?" I gently stroked her to relax her. I gently parted her legs, and

I saw her initially shyly cover her eyes with her hands.
I laid her flat, legs spread wide. I was already very excited, and she must have been very nervous too; I could

feel her body trembling slightly… but she was excited because her vagina was constantly secreting love fluid. I

saw it; she had quite a lot of pubic hair. I stroked her pubic hair and began sucking on the outside of her thighs, kissing them with

my tongue . She had stopped trembling; her skin was now burning hot. I sucked on the base of her thighs. Baby,

my baby, I want to praise her body, praise her beauty…
At first, she wouldn't let me give her oral sex. But she couldn't resist my temptation and sweet words.
So I continued kissing her perineum, labia, and vaginal opening. I then licked upwards from her perineum to

her lovely labia. The surging love fluid was very attractive to me. I sniffed gently; there was a faint scent, but to me

, it felt like an aphrodisiac. I sucked and licked... the taste was slightly bitter and faintly

salty. I loved the love fluid flowing from her body. She was so clean. She was my saint...
(*Actually, I really dislike those prostitutes. There might be love between them, but it's mostly

a transaction of money and flesh. I pity them, but I would never hire a prostitute. Some things in my heart are

dirty and unbearable, while the innocence of a schoolgirl is the complete opposite, completely intoxicating me. Any schoolgirl

moves me and intoxicates me.*)
Her thick labia minora were glistening, as if they were shy.
I used my tongue to pry open her labia majora, taking one labia into my mouth and sweeping it

around , sucking and kissing both sides of the labia, swirling it around... then I switched to the other labia

... Finally, I turned my body slightly to the side, my lips parallel to hers, and gently

took both labia into my mouth at the same time, sucking them together, using my tongue to thrust in and out, even sweeping across between them.

I wanted to make her feel incredibly good...
Her love juice mixed with my saliva, flowing happily between my lips and her labia.
She started with soft moans, then I saw her head sway slightly, her love juice increased,

seemingly gushing outwards. Her labia had turned a deep red.
She began to whisper, "Oh... oh... so good... oh. I love you... oh..."
I was happy too, it was really exciting.
At this moment, her clitoris began to swell and become exposed. I gently teased her clitoris a few times with the tip of my wet tongue, arousing her

sensation from within. I felt it, and then I went back to kiss her vaginal opening and labia...
I continued to gently lick upwards from her perineum towards her clitoris, my tongue moving

left and right as it reached the vaginal opening, parting the labia while continuing to lick upwards... Then I focused on taking her lovely "pearl,"

moving my tongue up to her clitoris and concentrating. My tongue was very wet; I used the tip, gently; I
lightly touched the tip of her clitoris with the tip of my tongue; I moved her clitoris left and right with my tongue; I pressed her clitoris with my tongue from time to time
; when I held her clitoris in my mouth, I stirred it around with my tongue. While licking, I scratched her

pubic hair with my hand, which she found very comfortable. I gently inserted my fingers into her vagina and stirred them. "Ouch, ah," she groaned under the influence of my

fingers . I withdrew my wet hand.
She gently cradled my head, then whispered tenderly, "Darling, I want..."
"Darling, I'll be very gentle. If you feel any pain, I'll stop immediately, okay?" I

kissed her as gently as I could.
I looked at her soft pubic hair, clinging to her high, rounded vulva. She spread her legs wider, and my glans

, red and hot as if it had just come from a furnace, rubbed against her parted labia. I

felt ; her labia were open, and the love juice flowing from her vagina enveloped my glans. My glans

was also covered in secretions. I smeared my penis with her love juice, then stroked it a few times.

She opened her hands upwards, and I supported myself with both hands, probing towards my beloved vulva. About halfway in

, I observed her expression. Suddenly, her brow furrowed, and she groaned, "It hurts."
I quickly withdrew, then kissed her gently.
"Baby, if it hurts, we can stop. I'll just hold you like this, okay?"
"Darling, I love you, I want you." She hooked her arms around my neck. "Just be gentle

..."
I positioned my penis back against her vulva, supporting myself with one hand while using the other to separate her labia and

envelop my penis. Her labia quickly closed around it. I supported myself with both hands,

and she hooked her arms around my neck. I pressed my body against her hot breasts, but my buttocks remained raised, not protruding

. She spread her legs wide, forming a V-shape.
"Be gentle with the one you love, or with a virgin," I thought to myself, and I

did .
I tried to push in a little more, and she trembled violently, then her brows furrowed. "It hurts."
I pulled out, but didn't leave her labia. I noticed her love juices flowing even more profusely.
We then began to kiss passionately, and I kissed her lips and earlobes wildly. As we embraced

passionately , I peered inside, and this time I estimated my penis was halfway in. (My penis is 16

centimeters.) The entire glans was no longer visible. She seemed to relax her body with pleasure even before she felt any pain.

I didn't see any bleeding because I was very gentle, and my penis was already bright red.
She comfortably enjoyed the feeling of my entire penis filling her vagina, and I felt the tightness of her vagina.
We were completely intertwined, body and soul united.
I didn't move immediately, but instead kissed her passionately again. While kissing, I felt her

body swaying slightly.
We began our actual intercourse. I looked at her beautiful face and her closed eyes, thrusting in and out repeatedly

. She responded cooperatively, and then I reached my hand from behind her buttocks to her thick labia.

Through her labia, I felt my penis. A large amount of thick, sticky love fluid flowed wildly from her

vagina , soaking our pubic hair. Lots of love juice flowed down the bed…
I thrust in and out of her sweet little hole about forty times. I started to feel the urge to ejaculate, but I

immediately stopped thrusting and gently pulled my penis out
. “Let’s change positions, okay, baby?”
She listened to me and got up. Following my instructions, she lay face down on the bed, then knelt with her legs up,

completely . From behind, it was a new and beautiful sight!
I slid my penis down from behind her buttocks and then into her honey hole…
Every time we moved in unison, there was a beautiful sound from our genitals colliding. Ah, so beautiful…

We
thrust in and out about a hundred more times. I tried my best to use my strength, to match the depth as deeply as possible, and to rub and rub…
She must have felt very comfortable. Her face changed from pink to a beautiful crimson, her breathing was very rapid, and her beautiful

cherry lips open. I lay on top of her from behind and kissed her earlobe, gently stroking

her stray hairs with one hand. She brought her lips closer, and I gently kissed her…
I felt the urge to ejaculate again. Looking at her, she seemed a little tired. I said to her, "Baby, take a rest

..."
This time I lay on the bed and told her to sit on top of me. She looked at my penis, stroked it

shyly a couple of times, and chuckled. Then she spread her legs on either side of me, facing me. I

reached out and stroked her pubic hair and her alluring vulva. I parted her labia minora, and she held my penis

up . We both stared at our joined genitals, and I watched my glans being swallowed and entering her body. This...

This time she started moving her body actively; perhaps she had found her G-spot, because each penetration felt very

comfortable , and I could feel my penis being rubbed by something rough, which felt very good…
She would occasionally brush her hair aside with her hand, and sometimes lean down to kiss me. I held her in my arms, her full

breasts pressing against my firm chest.
“Darling, I love you… I love you…” she said to me.
“Baby, I love you too…” I kissed her.
This lasted for about a hundred more times. After all, she was a virgin, so I thought she wouldn’t have an orgasm. Otherwise,

why didn’t she experience the orgasm described in the books? Maybe it was the pain? “Probably, because the first time is more about pain.”
I thought, and she was also a little curious: “Baby, why haven’t you ejaculated yet?”
“Do you still want to do it?” We had already switched to the original position, with her lying on top of me.
“Hurry up and ejaculate, darling, I’m a little uncomfortable.” She said sweetly.
“Hmm, baby, where should I ejaculate?”
“Can you ejaculate on my stomach?” She was a little shy.
“Why, darling?” I was also curious.
"I heard semen is good for your complexion," she said, even more shyly.
Looking at her blushing face, smelling her fragrance, and seeing her alluring form beneath me, I began

my final thrust.
"Oh... oh... darling, oh... mmm... ah..." she cried out.
I held her tightly, kissing her, thrusting! ...
All my energy gathered in my glans and penis. I felt her vagina suddenly tighten, her legs

clamping around me, and I thrust even harder.
"Ah, ah... faster... darling... I feel so good... oh..." she cried uncontrollably.
"Baby, I'm going to cum, I'm about to cum. Oh..." I felt my penis suddenly feel

like it was being electrocuted, a very pleasurable sensation.
The current surged from my brain to my entire body, then concentrated in my glans, and then flowed through my entire penis.
"Come on, darling..."
I immediately pulled out my penis. Goodness, it was so hot, still sticky with her vaginal fluids.
I thrust a couple more times, and a large gush of thick, white liquid

shot , spraying the hot semen all over her lower abdomen! It sprayed many times, covering her lower abdomen

...
"Mmm, that feels good... Darling, I love you." My semen finally finished flowing out. "Was that good?"
"Mmm, so good, darling, help me clean it up." She was still shy, but beautiful.
I happily wiped the semen clean with toilet paper. My penis was still swollen. She was on her side, and I inserted

my penis into her from behind. Then I wrapped my body around hers, kissing her. I held

her body with my arms, letting her rest quietly, as if her little honey hole still had a lot of love juice flowing out...

We
enjoyed the wonderful afterglow of pleasure ...
After making love, we enjoyed the wonderful afterglow. I felt her heart going from high-speed beating to a calm

beating...
She needed to go to the toilet. "I'll go with you," I immediately followed. I love her so much.
I waited for her naked outside the bathroom, having casually placed a piece of Karen Mok's "Summer Fruit" (a type of vaginal discharge).
"You're bleeding!" she said from inside.
"Baby, does it hurt?" I was concerned, nervous, excited—a mix of emotions...
"Mmm, darling, I didn't feel anything just now," she said. I quickly pulled on my white underwear.
"Baby, can I come in?"
"Yes, come and see." I went in, and she pointed to the tissue box next to her; several sheets of toilet paper were covered in blood.
"Darling, does it hurt?" I was at a loss.
"Mmm, a little," she looked up at me.
I didn't know what to do, so I just lowered my head and kissed her deeply, trying to soothe her pain with my kisses.
She went back to my room, got dressed, and I helped her put on her cute bra. I looked down at my still-erect

penis. "Wait a minute, this little guy is so disobedient, I'll go cool him down."
She laughed, infinitely charming. I rushed to the kitchen, pulled down my white underwear, and suddenly noticed blood on the lining

near my glans. "Darling..." I murmured to myself. My heart ached, but my penis

remained unmoved. I pressed it firmly under the tap and rinsed it with cold water.
I made her a glass of water, and we drank it in silence. She stood by the window,

bathed , beautiful, sexy, and radiant.
I couldn't help but gently embrace her. I thought, if she could marry me, I would say yes right now…
Since she had class at six in the afternoon, I had to take her to school and watch her leave…
We completed our first beautiful and tender sexual encounter, and it felt wonderful. But after that day, she

seemed to vanish from the world. I called her dorm, and her friends said she came back very late. Her

cell phone was usually out of service, and I heard she had skipped class for several days…
Then one day, she suddenly called me. I was so excited: "Baby, where have you been? I

miss you so much!"
"Let's break up," she said calmly.
"Oh? Ah!! Break up? Where are you? You're not mistaken, are you? I didn't hear wrong, did I?!" I wondered

if it was April 1st.
"Let's break up," she said again, calmer and quieter.
"Why? Baby, what happened??" I was even more at a loss.
"Nothing, no reason, I just don't have feelings for you anymore. Actually, meeting when neither of us wants to get married

won't last. I just want to be alone. Let's break up." Then the phone hung up.
Suddenly, tears welled up in my eyes. I... I've broken up... I can't accept it,

I can't believe it's real. Why? Why? ???
I searched for answers in my life. She changed dorm rooms, I heard she fell in love with the Beijing night, I heard she

often went to Banana and Rolling Stone, and I heard she met many men and women who also liked the night...
Everything happened so suddenly. Seeing her, falling in love with her, kissing her, gently taking off her clothes... Everything

changed too fast, making it impossible to believe whether what was happening around me was real or unreal...
She came, bringing so much emotion and so many feelings, and she left so quickly, like

a crystalline snowflake suddenly appearing before your eyes on a hot summer day, only to vanish...
Love, I was already disappointed before I could even believe in it; the game, perhaps from beginning to end she was just leading me in

her game; sex, maybe just one of the many rules of the game...
These three things shouldn't have been connected, but now the air seems to be filled with the combined

scent of all three, like pollen that causes allergies—you can't see it, you can't touch it, you can only vaguely feel it, and yet

you're already infected by it...
Carefully analyzing my role in this game, friend? Boyfriend? Or sexual partner?
I was confused, I was lost, and finally it dawned on me: I was just a dispensable sparring partner in her favorite game

...
I took out a bottle of wine, bought a bag of rice crackers, and after a hard-fought football match, sweaty and exhausted,

I hid in a corner to temporarily numb myself. A philosopher once compared tears and sweat, saying that, given the same total amount

, tears can be replaced by sweat. At that moment, I didn't even have the strength to shed tears. Suddenly, I gasped at my own

change, trembling and sweating profusely…
Classic, unwavering love, like the enduring love that lasts until the seas dry up and the rocks crumble, may exist, but it doesn't belong to me, at least not to my

youthful self … Perhaps we are both still young, perhaps I've been assimilated by another lifestyle, perhaps we both

enjoy and have begun to adapt to enjoying youth?…
Unconsciously, I too began to enthusiastically participate in this game, playing, enjoying,

modifying my own rules…
I lost her forever.
Now, I care deeply about sex and love; I'm not one of those bored, promiscuous individuals. Breathing in the open

air, I examine our era.
Standing by the window, I find myself unable to define myself, perhaps I've lost myself? I chuckle to myself.
Perhaps I'm just a passerby, suited to temporarily accompany lonely people, after which separation is inevitable. It seems that fleeting

happiness is what I seek? I don't know, and I don't want to know anymore.
I'm healthy, I'm happy, I'm quite handsome; I don't want my youth to just be spent growing old alone in books.
Late at night, I couldn't sleep. I asked myself, "Are you a gentleman?" The answer was, "No! But that doesn't mean I'm

a villain. I hate pretentious affectation, I hate people who live behind masks, I hate hypocrisy. I'm starting to like

who I am now. Be myself! I have ideals, I have goals, but I'm not pedantic, I'm not hypocritical..."
Exercise, studying, making friends, enriching my life... Actually, I'm happy
. In my youth, I may still feel lonely and empty occasionally. Relaxing and comforting myself,

I suddenly realized I was somewhere between a boy and a man, suddenly realized I liked who I am now, liked

the rare transcendence and relaxation I have after loving.
Love and sex don't have a priority; love can come before sex, the sublimation of the soul before the union of body; or

sex can come before love, physical intimacy before the purification of the soul...
No need to be confused anymore. This era is already exhausting enough; why add unnecessary

shackles to yourself?
Let go of your inhibitions, do what you want to do. We're all still young; we have the right and freedom to enjoy our youth

…
If you're heartbroken, feeling down, dissatisfied with society, dissatisfied with life, sad,

depressed … we can chat. I can invite you to eat at our school cafeteria. We can exercise together,

change our lives together… We can be good friends. We can have only pure friendship, we can also

have love, we can have sex, everything will happen naturally…
[The End
]

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