Going further and further

Just like the title suggests... Junior high school life was uneventful. In the first year, I had a crush on my deskmate, but he ruined it for me with a low-achieving student.
In the second year, I had a crush on a pure and innocent girl, but I never dared to confess until graduation. Of course, a few others liked me, but I didn't like any of them.
During my three years of high school, I watched others date, heard stories of this person having sex with that person, and so on, and honestly, I was quite envious. But I never actually dated anyone.
My first real relationship was after graduating from high school. The funny thing is, during my first time having sex, I even pulled a muscle and bled a lot, but luckily I was okay. This girl was an online friend I had chatted with for a long time. Maybe it was fate, but we coincidentally got together. She was someone's mistress, and when the guy's family found out, they dumped her. I kept comforting her, and she ended up with me. To be honest, I really liked her, but I was immature back then and didn't think about marriage.
The two of us were in a long-distance relationship. Every time we separated, the girl would start dating someone else, and I was always jealous, but I always forgave her. Eventually, well, our relationship just didn't work out, and we broke up. It was a long- distance relationship
to begin with. Anyway, enough of that. Let's get to the point
. My friend had a girlfriend who was quite clingy. She had an abortion the first time she got pregnant. The second time, she insisted on getting married, but my friend refused, saying the child wasn't his. It turned out that it wasn't his either.
But then she came to me, and I was there to comfort her. We ended up dating, and I felt sorry for her, so I promised to raise the baby together. Actually, I still had inner conflicts. Later, with another man by my side, I had an abortion.
We'd been dating for years, and every time we argued and broke up, she would find someone else, either someone she met online or someone she knew before.
I don't know if it was because she argued with other men, or because she went to other men after the argument. The same thing happened again and again, and each time I forgave her during sex. In the end, I gave in because I genuinely wanted to marry her. The inferiority complex I had as a child, which I had long forgotten, was reawakened at that moment.
Later, I made her tell me about how she went out and had sex with other men, and we both enjoyed it immensely. It was also during that time that I actually drank her urine and licked her genitals that had been violated.

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