Those Years of Experience with Married Women (7)

Actually, whether it's possible in real life isn't that important to me, as long as we can communicate sincerely and have a good spiritual connection. I'm looking forward to meeting couples, preferably around forty years old. I don't like people who start chatting like they're in Japanese AVs and immediately go straight to sex. I accidentally exited my blog post today, so it's all for nothing. I don't want to continue writing, so I'll just briefly talk about the other four. I have feelings for the fourth and seventh ones. I only met the fifth and sixth once each. I don't really care about looks; what I care about is that the second one didn't seem very feminine to me. The sixth one grabbed my hand and touched her thigh while we were eating, and shortly after we got a hotel room, she asked me if I loved her. She's just an ordinary factory worker. I've kept in touch with the last one. I mostly call her "Mom" in our WeChat chats, although she wants me to call her "Sister." Anyway, we use a lot of terms of address in our chats. I've called her Sister, Mom, Big Butt, Little Slut, and Little Sister. Of course, I've always respected her; these are just things we say when we're flirting in private. I'm also very grateful to have met her. Apart from hotel rooms, we rarely spend money together, and she knows I'm not wealthy. What moved me even more was that when I was in trouble this year, she lent me 10,000 yuan. I'm not bragging, the point is that her salary is only 2,600 yuan a month. A month and a half later, I took a bus back to her workplace to pay her back. We made love twice that day, but it wasn't very good, since it was during a period when my business was losing money. Her son is five years younger than me, and he even tells me about his girlfriend and shows me pictures. The day before yesterday, I told her I would visit her during my vacation next month, and she was very happy. When we were still working together, I told her that if it was convenient, I wanted to treat her like my own mother, even if we didn't have sex. She said it didn't matter, as long as you wanted it. Actually, she told me a long time ago that when she was younger, her husband was always away working, and some people tried to seduce her, but she refused and rarely spoke to other men, so she said she was cold-blooded. Perhaps because she rarely had sex when she was younger, she said she wasn't very interested in sex now. I said, "Don't women in their forties need it?" She said she didn't have sex, but every time we went out, she would give in whenever I wanted. We once did it 13 times from 10 am to 2 pm the next day, that was the most we ever did. Usually, it's four or five times, including some less-than-ideal ones. I can tell she loves me, and I love her too. As long as it doesn't interfere with her family life, I want to stay with her until we're old, even if it's just being her son. There were two times when it felt particularly good because when I penetrated her from behind and we thrust in and out, gas would come out of her vagina, like she was farting. That day, I penetrated her from behind, holding her shoulders and thrusting all the way in each time. After about ten minutes, her face was flushed. We were thrusting hard, and she turned her head to kiss me. She only stopped when she realized my glans was hurting. She said she had an IUD, and I might have hit it. Every time we went out, my glans would hurt after two or three times, even just blowing on it would hurt. I asked her husband if he had ever experienced pain, and she said no. I was her second man, and I was the one who trained her. While she wasn't quite the promiscuous type netizens described, at least she didn't lie about how passionate they were during sex to save face for her husband, like she did at the beginning. In reality, her husband always ejaculated easily, sometimes even before penetration. I tried teaching her to say lewd things to lighten the mood, but she only ever said things like "fuck" or "fuck." Once, she even asked me if I felt a sense of accomplishment being with her. I asked why, and then I realized, "I'm fucking someone else's wife, isn't that what she meant?" It's strange, though. With other women, I have difficulty getting an erection, or rather, I need more stimulation, but with her, it's easy. So I joked that she was my "medicine." She joked that I had to pay her, and I said, "Isn't all that sperm enough?" She said no, not even as much as her husband (who gave her a lot more semen). Her vagina is quite dry; I need to slowly thrust in and out for a while to fully penetrate. She said her husband doesn't feel dry at all. I think maybe it's because her husband lubricates himself before penetration. What's been a breakthrough these past few days is that she's been showing me her breasts on video calls when I ask. Maybe it's because we haven't been together for so long, we both miss each other a lot. Before, whenever I said I was feeling unwell and wanted to see her body on video, she would tell me to come over first, and that I could do whatever I wanted there. I said I wanted to fuck her in front of a big man, and she called me a pervert. I said I wanted to possess her. Actually, the first time we went out together, it was hard to get an erection at first, but then her husband called, and I could clearly feel my penis getting hard. I was fucking her while she was on the phone, of course not very hard, because I didn't want to cause her any trouble. Later, I asked her if what we did was incest. She said no, because we're not related by blood. I think maybe she was just comforting herself. The order of my writing is a bit messy, I just wrote whatever came to mind, and I didn't expect to write so much on my phone without realizing it... Actually, when I left her workplace at the end of last year, she cried. We sat on a park bench for a long time, and she said she was very happy with me. I said I was too, that I never felt unhappy or troubled with her, that there was no distance between us, and that I didn't have to worry about saying the wrong thing. I didn't feel any pressure. Perhaps this is love, but it's a pity we were born at different ages and didn't meet at the right time. Maybe it's society's fault; there are too many ethical and moral constraints, which create obstacles related to age, marriage, and family ties. At times like these, I think, if there were no worldly ties, perhaps we would already be living in seclusion somewhere, deep in the mountains or somewhere unknown. For me, what others think of me wouldn't affect me at all. When we occasionally share a room, the hotel owner gives me strange looks, but I always comfort myself: if you can't stand it, why not refuse to earn my money? I feel disgusted by these two-faced people in life. There was even an instance where the hotel owner's wife brought in a blanket, and when I opened the door a crack to take it, she asked, "Where's your wife?" I told her she had. I also hope to meet like-minded older brothers and sisters-in-law, without any real interaction, just hoping to have an elder to talk to when I'm feeling down. Two years ago, I met a godmother online. At the time, I was working in northern China, not far from her, and she always treated me like a son. Even when I told her directly that I could have sex with her if she wanted, and I mentioned that I masturbated frequently, she said it wasn't good, that I was just wasting something so precious on my body. We would talk about her family, her lover, and even her first inexplicable orgasm at 16. I never said anything inappropriate to her. Maybe many people wouldn't believe it, but in my opinion, there's trust and respect between men and women beyond sex, even if there's an age difference. I also frankly told my godmother that I initially added her with ulterior motives. She said she knew, and then she talked to me about her lover. She said they had been chatting online for five years, only met in person shortly before meeting me, and then had sex. She said a woman at this age should have a lover. Personally, I agree with my godmother's point of view. This doesn't mean we support the decline of ethics and morality, nor is it an excuse for betrayal. Perhaps there's no such thing as betrayal at all. Over time, the feelings between husband and wife transform into familial affection, and at that point, there's no psychological basis for accusing them of betraying love. All they're doing is adhering to the marriage certificate that society provides. Seeking happiness and joy is human nature, as is hoping for understanding. My godmother shared these things with me because in real life, we can't share them with those around us. Many things happen, we just don't know it. It doesn't matter whether it's legitimate or not; being able to remove one's mask in front of a close friend is a kind of happiness. Being able to learn things from my older brother and sister-in-law's decades of life experience—things I wouldn't hear about in books or in real life—is a kind of luck for a young person like me. Whether it's good or bad depends on how you use it. A knife can hurt, but it can also save; everything has two sides.

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Those Years of Experience with Married Women (7)

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