I thought about it for a long time before writing it down.

I thought about it for a long time, but I decided to write it down. I'm 43 this year, and I have two children, one in university and the other in high school, both boarding at school. My husband is three years older than me and is a business owner. He goes to the company every morning and doesn't get home until 4 or 5 pm. I work at his shop. Every day is the same: going to get off work, coming home, cooking, and doing housework.

This happened a few days before the Lunar New Year this year. Because it was close to the New Year, there were many things to handle at the factory. My husband went drinking with clients, and when he came home, he suddenly got angry and started arguing with me over a small matter. I was so angry that I didn't sleep well all night. The next day, my husband went to the factory early. I was still angry, so I made breakfast, ate it, did some laundry, and went to the store. As soon as I sat down at the store, my husband's older brother (his sworn brother) introduced the man I was having an affair with. He is my husband's sworn brother, 50 years old this year, 7 years older than me. He has a very good temper and is quite easygoing. His wife has a bad temper, which is the opposite of my family. I have a good temper, but my husband has a bad temper. They also have two children, one working in another city and the other in school. Their family wasn't well-off. His wife worked as a nanny for someone else, and he looked after the shop for my husband, who was also his brother. We usually just greeted each other briefly, without much conversation, since we were separated by several stalls. After we sat down at the shop (because it didn't open until 9 am, and I arrived at 8:30 am, most people hadn't come yet), I heard Xiao Hui's voice. I looked up and saw it was my brother. He said, "I heard about what happened to Xiao Hui yesterday. That's just his temper; he gets like that after a few drinks. Don't be too angry; after all, you're husband and wife." He comforted me and said a lot. I realized my brother had such a unique masculine charm. He also told me about his argument with his wife, and after he finished, he sighed, "We're in the same boat." That day, I got to know my brother anew.
In the following days, my older brother and I chatted on WeChat. It was almost Chinese New Year, and the factory and shop were closed for the holidays. The brothers got together, but since there were many things to do at the factory on the holiday, my husband and I were busy there until about 7 pm. My husband said, "The brothers are having a get-together today, why don't you come along? It'll save you from cooking at home." I said, "I think I'll pass. What's it like for a woman to go with all these men?" My husband said, "So what? There are no outsiders." I didn't say anything and went with them. When we arrived at the restaurant, all the brothers were there, waiting for us. During the meal, I told him to drink less, and he started arguing with me, saying things like, "What's wrong with me having a little drink on such a special day?" I got so angry that I blurted out, "I'm telling you to drink less because it's for your own good!" That made him even more aggressive. The other brothers at the table tried to mediate, but the more they tried, the more agitated he became. I angrily turned and walked away, but my older brother quickly tried to persuade me, "Xiao Hui, don't go. It's so late, it's not safe outside." My husband said something like, "It's better if something happens to him if he goes out," which angered me, and I yelled at him. I walked out crying, and my older brother hurriedly chased after me to stop me, but he couldn't. We got downstairs, hailed a taxi, and drove off. The taxi driver asked, "Where are you going, ma'am?" I hadn't really thought about where to go, so I just said, "To the pedestrian street." When we got to the pedestrian street, I got off and walked around. The weather was a bit chilly that night, and couples walked past me. I felt so jealous and envious. I wished I could go back to my youth, but it was just wishful thinking. Then my phone rang. It was my older brother calling. I answered. "Hello, brother," he said, "Xiao Hui, where are you? Don't be so upset. He was just angry for a moment, he'll be fine in a second." (Indeed, my husband is fine after his temper subsides.) I said, "Brother, he'll be fine in a second. Who can stand this all the time?" Then he asked where I was. I said, "Brother, you should keep them company while they eat and drink. I want to be alone." Then I hung up and turned off my phone. About 20 minutes passed. As I walked, someone suddenly called out, "Xiao Hui!" I was startled and turned around to see my brother. He said breathlessly, "It was so hard to find you! I ran halfway down the pedestrian street to find you." I said, "How did you know I was here?" He said, "When we were talking, someone next to you said they were waiting for you at KFC. That's when I remembered you were on the pedestrian street, so I came looking for you. I'm exhausted!" I said, "Brother, why didn't you stay with them and come looking for me? You only get together once a year." He said, "I was worried about you. My younger brothers asked me to come check on you to make sure nothing happened. I don't drink, and I don't drink with them, so I came."

I said, "Oh, I see. I'm fine, I just wanted to take a walk to clear my head. I'm not really upset." My brother said, "Alright, let's walk together and talk." So we walked and talked, sharing our worries and sorrows. We eventually reached the park, found a bench, and sat down. We continued talking, and then I started crying. My brother said, "Cry, it'll make you feel better. I have broad shoulders, you can lean on me." I smiled and leaned on his shoulder. He comforted me, saying, "If only your wife were as gentle and virtuous as you." I said, "If only Xiao Kai (my husband) had a good temper like you, I'd be content." We didn't speak for about a minute, just leaning on each other. In that moment, I felt a special masculine energy from my brother, beyond my husband. I felt like a little girl leaning on the shoulder of a gentle older man—this was what I wanted, a feeling of happiness I hadn't experienced in a long time. As I was thinking, my older brother said, "Xiao Hui, I have something to tell you, but you absolutely mustn't tell anyone." I said, "What is it? Why are you being so mysterious?" My brother said, "Promise me you won't tell anyone." I said, "Okay, I promise. Tell me, I'm really curious what it could be that's so mysterious." My brother said, "Xiao Hui, I've been holding this in for a long time without a chance to tell you. Today, I'll take this opportunity to tell you. Xiao Hui, I've liked you for a long time, I've had a crush on you for over ten years. I've always held back and never dared to confess. Every day, I come to the store early just to see you first." (Indeed, my brother comes very early every day; so that's why.) I feel bad for telling Xiao Kai today; one shouldn't covet a friend's wife. I feel like I'm being a terrible person, but I still have to say it. Saying it makes me feel much better, much more at ease. To be honest, I was startled and then said, "Brother, I won't tell anyone about this. After all, we're brothers, and I'm grateful for your long-standing crush on me and for saying so much to me today. Now that you've said it, you don't need to keep it to yourself anymore. Just live a good life from now on and don't think about these things anymore." After saying that, I said, "Brother, it's getting late. Let's go." When we got to the intersection, my brother said, "Let me walk you home." I said, "No need, my home isn't far from here. We'll be there in a bit." My brother said, "I'm worried. If it were daytime, I wouldn't walk you home, but since it's evening, I'll still walk you home." After saying that, a taxi arrived, and we got in together to go home. We didn't talk much in the car. After about 10 minutes, we arrived home. I got out of the car and said to my brother, "Brother, would you like to come in and sit for a bit?" My brother said, "No, it's getting late. I need to go home quickly. You go home and stop arguing with Xiao Kai. Sleep it off, and you'll be fine tomorrow." I said, "Okay, thank you, brother. Drive carefully." After saying goodbye to my older brother, I went home. My husband was already lying in the bedroom, seemingly having drunk a lot, and asleep. I tidied up the house and sat in the living room watching TV, recalling what had just happened. A slow smile crept onto my face. I thought to myself, I never thought that at my age, someone would still have a crush on me and confess their feelings to me. Putting aside the relationship, I felt quite touched, considering I'm getting old and past my prime. Just then, the scene of my older brother and me in the park appeared on TV, except this time we were a couple. We talked for a while and then shared a deep kiss. Seeing this, I wondered what I would have done if my older brother had kissed me in a moment of excitement. Would I have let it go or pushed him away immediately? I shook my head, thinking, "What am I thinking? This is all nonsense." I turned off the TV and went to bed. Before I knew it, it was New Year's. My older brother and I hadn't spoken or texted each other for several days. On New Year's Day, we went to visit relatives, and the last house we visited was my older brother's. When we arrived, my sister-in-law warmly welcomed us, saying, "Xiao Hui, come and try the winter dates from my hometown; they're so sweet!" I ate a few, and they were indeed quite sweet. My husband said, "Sister-in-law, where's my older brother?" My sister-in-law said, "He went out to pay New Year's visits early this morning. He should be back soon. Let's wait a bit." My sister-in-law and I started chatting. Just then, my older brother returned from his New Year's visit. He came in and said, "Xiao Kai, you're here! Have dinner here before you leave." My husband said okay. I don't know why, but seeing my older brother, he seemed a little lost. My heart started racing. My sister-in-law said, "I'll go prepare the meal. I'll try my new cooking skills." My husband immediately said, "Xiao Hui, why don't you help my sister-in-law?" I said okay and followed my sister-in-law to the kitchen. She prepared a table full of dishes, quite a feast. After everyone sat down, my husband said, "It would be nice to have some wine." I said, "Why drink on the first day of the Lunar New Year?" My husband said, "You only come once a year, what's wrong with a little wine? Let's have some fun." Then my sister-in-law smiled and said, "Let's have a little wine. It's not easy for him to come all this way. Men should have a drink." Don't be like your older brother, who doesn't drink or smoke and has no hobbies. I thought to myself, you two should just get together. Then my husband said, "Xiaohui, go get a bottle of Moutai and a case of beer from the trunk." I said, "How am I supposed to get them?" My sister-in-law said, "Xu Gang (my brother's name), how can you be so clueless? Go get them too." My husband said, "I'll go." My sister-in-law said, "Don't go, let your brother go. Come and try my new cooking." My husband laughed shamelessly and said, "Okay, okay, I'll try my sister-in-law's cooking." My brother and I went out, and there was a stretch of road we needed to walk to the highway (we live in a small county town, and my brother lives on the edge of the town; they all live in single-story houses, about a minute's walk from the highway). We got to the car, opened the trunk, and just as we were about to get the beer, my brother accidentally bumped my hand. I shivered and secretly glanced at him. My brother also looked at me and said, "What's wrong?" I stammered, "Nothing." After getting the beer, we went back to my older brother's house and started eating and drinking. My husband said, "Brother, it's not easy for you to come all this way, why don't you have a beer with your younger brother?" My sister-in-law chimed in, "Yes, Xiao Kai and the others don't come easily, let's have a drink together." My brother said, "Okay, I'm happy today, I'll have a drink with Xiao Kai." We drank and chatted, and my husband even showed off his talent for bragging. My sister-in-law and my husband were laughing and talking. My sister-in-law is also a talkative person, a perfect match for my husband, both in temperament and mannerisms. My husband said, "Why aren't you talking?" I said, "I didn't want to interrupt you while you were bragging." Everyone laughed. My sister-in-law then said, "I didn't expect Xiao Kai to be so talkative, he's almost as good as you." My husband said, "Yes, it's still best to stay with my brother this past year, we can talk, brag, and laugh together." Suddenly, my husband blurted out a joke: "Sister-in-law, our personalities are similar, let's spend tomorrow together." Everyone laughed after that sentence. Then, the sister-in-law laughed and said, "What about your brother?" The husband also laughed and said, "Let your brother and Xiaohui live together. Let's switch families." Everyone laughed again. I laughed to myself, thinking, "Hurry up and take him away. You two get along well." As I was thinking this, I secretly glanced at my brother. He looked at me too. My heart raced, and I picked up my wine glass and drank it down. After we finished eating, my husband and I said goodbye to my brother and sister-in-law and went home. My husband lay down and fell asleep. I took a shower and lay down, recalling what had just happened—the scene of us switching. Thinking about that scene made my heart race. The moment my brother and I looked at each other, my breathing became heavy. I don't know why, but I felt an urge down there. I touched myself and found I was wet. Maybe it was because my husband hadn't touched me for the past few months. Taking advantage of the alcohol, I started masturbating, fantasizing about the scene just now and what happened in the park that day. Soon, I climaxed, ejaculating rapidly. I wondered if I had fallen in love with my brother. Why did seeing him give me the feeling of young love, and my heart was pounding? With this thought, I fell asleep.
For the next few days, my older brother greeted me every morning. I don't know why, but I got used to this greeting. After the 15th of the first lunar month, the 16th was the company's opening day. Nothing much happened on the opening day, so I sat at home watching TV. My phone rang; it was my husband. I answered, "Hello." My husband said, "Xiao Hui, if you're free, go to your older brother and sister-in-law's to pick up something." I asked, "What?" My husband said, "The jujubes your sister-in-law got from her parents' house last time." I said, "Oh." The thought of going to my brother's house filled me with excitement and inexplicable joy. I specially found one of my favorite clothes, put on some light makeup, and went to my brother's house. When I arrived, I knocked on the door. My brother opened it and said, "Xiao Hui, what brings you here today? Where's Xiao Kai?" I said, "Xiao Kai is at the company; he asked me to pick up the jujubes." My brother quickly said, "My memory is terrible; I was cleaning and forgot about it." Then I went to the living room with my brother. I said, "Where's my sister-in-law? Did she go out?" My older brother said, "Your sister-in-law went to her parents' house and will be back tonight." I said, "Oh." He then went to the kitchen, brought out some jujubes, and placed them on the living room table, saying, "I'll make you some water. It's cold today, drink some water to warm up before you leave." I said, "Thank you, brother, don't be so polite." He said, "No need to thank me. From now on, treat this place like your own home and make yourself at home." I chuckled and said, "Okay." Then he said, "Xiao Hui, watch some TV by yourself. I'm going to tidy up the bedroom; I haven't finished yet." I said, "Brother, do you need any help?" He said, "It's alright, I can do the small things myself. You can watch TV in the living room." I said, "Okay, call me if you need me later." He said, "Sure." A little while later, he came out of the bedroom and said, "Every time your sister-in-law goes back to her parents' house, she makes a mess of the place. She says she takes all the clothes she can't wear to her parents' house for the children to wear, and she never tidies up afterwards. I'm always the one who has to clean up for her." He then went to the bedroom with a clothes hanger and continued tidying up. I felt rather listless sitting there, so I went to the bedroom. I saw my older brother clumsily tidying his clothes, so I quickly went over and said, "Brother, let me tidy them for you." He said, "How can I let you tidy them?" I said, "Brother, don't try to be a hero, you're so clumsy. We women are better at this than you." He smiled and said, "Thank you, sister-in-law." While he was tidying, something fell out of the clothes. I instinctively squatted down, but my brother squatted down too, and our heads bumped together. I said, "Ouch!" He quickly said, "Are you alright, Xiaohui? I didn't mean to." I said, "Look at your head, it hurts so much!" He said, "Let me see," and gently blew on my head. My heart started pounding, and I became very nervous and my breathing quickened. He said, "Are you feeling better? Does it still hurt?" This was the first time I'd been so close to my brother face-to-face, and I was so nervous. I looked up and said, "It still hurts a little." He quickly blew on it a few more times and said, "Does it not hurt anymore?" I said, "It's okay, brother, does it hurt? Let me blow on it for you." He said, "It doesn't hurt, it doesn't hurt." I said, "Are you sure it doesn't hurt?" He stammered nervously, "It hurts." I gently blew on his head, hearing his heavy breathing, and my breathing quickened too. Suddenly, he looked up and faced me. Our eyes met, and I didn't know what would happen. Then he said, "Xiao Hui, can you blow on it again?" I nervously said, "Okay." Just as I was about to blow, his lips gently covered mine. My mind went blank, completely confused. After the kiss, he said, "Xiao Hui, your lips smell so good." I was stunned. Wasn't it my brother who kissed me? The scene replayed in my mind. Then he kissed me again, stroking my head with both hands, and said, "Xiao Hui, I really like you so much. I think about you every day, but I don't dare contact you. I really like you so much." After saying that, I stood up and said, "Brother, don't do this. I'm your sister-in-law. You and Xiao Kai are brothers." After I finished speaking, I started to walk out. My older brother grabbed me and pressed me against the wall. He pinned my hands to the wall and started kissing me frantically. I tried to dodge, but he suddenly kissed me hard on the lips. No matter how much I dodged, it was no use. He kissed me deeply. His lips were thick and a bit large. I kept my mouth tightly shut. My older brother stopped and looked at me, saying, "Xiao Hui, I love you." I hadn't heard those three words since I married Xiao Kai. Hearing them from my older brother's mouth today filled me with a strange excitement. My older brother looked at me, his breathing becoming heavier. At that moment, I didn't think much. I silently closed my eyes and opened my mouth. My older brother slowly extended his tongue and licked my lips in a circular motion. I suddenly felt a surge of heat in my lower body. My older brother said, "Xiao Hui, stick out your tongue." I involuntarily stuck it out. My older brother then enveloped my mouth in a deep kiss, kissing me passionately. He lifted my shirt with both hands and reached inside my chest, kissing me deeply. Just then, my phone rang and stopped. I saw it was my husband, so I answered, "Hello." My husband said, "Are you still with your brother?" I said, "Yes." My husband said, "I'm done with my work, so I'll pick you up and take you home." I said, "Okay." After hanging up, my brother said, "It's Xiao Kai calling." I said, "Yeah." My brother said, "Sorry, Xiao Hui, I acted impulsively just now." Then he said, "Let's tidy up a bit, Xiao Kai will be here soon." After he finished speaking, I said shyly, "Brother, how did you lift my shirt up? How did you tidy it up for me?" My brother stammered, "Okay." My brother tucked my shirt into my pants, but since I was wearing tight pants, he didn't tuck it in. I said, "You're so clumsy, you could have just unzipped the zipper and tucked it in." My brother stammered, "Okay, you're right." His hands trembled as he unzipped my pants, tucked my shirt in, and then zipped it up again. After tidying me up, he left the bedroom. Just as I was about to pick up the jujube, my older brother hugged me, his breathing heavy, and whispered in my ear, "Xiao Hui, I missed you so much." He couldn't take it anymore, taking my hand and placing it on his pants, where he saw it was rock hard. He turned me around to look at him. Because I hadn't had sex for several months, I was also overwhelmed with desire, hugging my brother's neck and kissing him. While kissing him, I said, "Hurry up, Xiao Kai will be here soon." My brother took off his pants and mine as well, and we both exposed our genitals to each other. My brother hugged me and kissed me again, and I touched my brother's penis and rubbed it against my labia. My brother said, "Xiao Hui can't take it anymore, give it to me." I pushed my husband's older brother away, knelt on the sofa, and held onto the headboard with both hands. He half-squatted and slowly inserted his penis into my vagina. It felt so full; I hadn't felt this way in months. Then, he thrust his entire penis in, and I gasped. He touched my breasts through my clothes, half-squatting as he moved in and out. At that moment, I thought, I'm cheating on my husband, and with his older brother—the first man besides him. Being with a man I have such a relationship with...it's indescribable, even more exciting than with my husband. Then my phone rang. Perhaps because it was an incoming call, he sped up, his breathing heavy. With the last thrust, a warm liquid flowed into my vagina. It felt so warm, and I felt him ejaculate a lot. We both held our breath. I quickly picked up the phone. My husband said, "I'm here. Come out." I said, "Okay, I'll come out now." He quickly pulled up his pants, got me some tissues, and said, "Wipe yourself." I said, "There's no time." I put the tissue on my labia, pulled up my underwear and tidied my pants, grabbed the jujubes, and went out. My older brother followed me out, saying goodbye to my husband. On the way home, I thought about what had just happened and smiled, thinking that my older brother was probably also reminiscing about what had just happened. My husband said, "What are you laughing at?" I said, "Nothing, I just saw a skit on TV that was pretty funny." Then I said to my husband, "Hurry up, I drank a lot of water at my brother's house, I'm a little bloated." My husband laughed and said, "Serves you right, who told you to drink so much?" I said, "Stop talking nonsense, hurry up and go." I got home in a little while, rushed upstairs, and went straight to the bathroom. I took off my pants, and because I had been sitting, the semen had stuck to my labia, and the tissue was wet. Luckily, I had a tissue underneath, otherwise it would have all been on my underwear. I looked at the semen on the tissue, which was a little yellowish, and thought that my brother probably hadn't done it in a long time, and that I had ejaculated a lot. I wiped myself with the tissue again. I threw the tissues into the toilet and flushed them away. I pulled up my pants, got out, made a glass of water, and sat on the sofa to watch TV. Although my eyes were on the TV, my mind was replaying what had just happened. After a while, I picked up my phone and checked my WeChat Moments. I saw my older brother had posted: "Today I did the most worthwhile thing of my life, I'm so happy." I immediately messaged him on WeChat: "Delete it quickly, what will people think if they see this? Especially since I just got back from your house, if Xiao Kai sees it, he'll become suspicious." He deleted it after that. He replied: "I don't know what happened, I was so happy I lost my mind. I've deleted it, don't worry." I said: "That's good." My brother then messaged: "Thank you, Xiao Hui, my wish came true today, I'm satisfied for the rest of my life." I said: "Brother, thank you too for letting me experience what a real woman is like today." Brother: You know what, Xiaohui, the moment I entered your body, all my long-cherished dreams of these past years finally came true. I was incredibly excited! It's like dying under a flower is a romantic death, even as a ghost! The call came so suddenly today, I panicked and ejaculated, I didn't let you experience the feeling (orgasm). I replied: There's still a long time to go, you'll experience it someday. Then I said: Don't reply anymore, I'll reply when I talk to you later. After sending the message, I deleted it.

Okay, it's past midnight as I'm writing. Even though we're all strangers online, I've mustered up the courage to write this down as a memento. I'll gradually record what happened between my older brother and me later. Here, I want to say that sex is a beautiful thing. When you meet someone you love and someone you like, you can truly let go of all your worries when the time is right. At this age, it's good to go a little crazy.

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I thought about it for a long time before writing it down.

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