Happiness along the way

Marriage is like a fortress, with love as its foundation. Its strength depends on the efforts of both partners. Some fortresses are as solid as a rock, while others are as thin as paper; the difference lies in the effort and time invested. There is no perfect marriage achieved overnight; only tireless cultivation and compromise.
—Written before everything happened.
My wife and I met through an arranged marriage, and our relationship blossomed through mutual trust. I must say, my wife was the person I had always dreamed of meeting. Before her, I had met dozens of potential partners, but I was the only one she had ever met. (Many years later, my wife still harbors resentment about this, feeling that she hadn't yet experienced the excitement of being captured by me). Because I didn't set any barriers, many interesting things happened during our blind dates, which I won't go into detail about here, but I can write about them separately if you're interested.
I could only offer so much, and she didn't ask for much; that's how we formed our own family. My wife was a virtuous wife and loving mother raised in a traditional family, radiating all the good qualities you could imagine: being a good homemaker, frugal, and filial. It was precisely this traditional virtuous wife, and later, the promiscuous wife in bed, that created a stark contrast that made one's head spin.
After marriage, we didn't waste any time. The birth of our first child prevented us from fully experiencing the happiness of newlywed life, but thankfully, our families helped us have a short but happy time together. However, with the arrival of our second child, we completely lost our own time and space. Everything revolved around the child, and it seemed that everything was no different from other families. The foreseeable future was a monotonous routine of going to work and coming home. I spend time with my child at work.
But the anxieties of life often prevent people from seeking out or exploring the unknown and exciting. I'm not a naturally settled person; I have many hobbies and a strong desire to try new things. My entry into this circle was accidental, over two years ago. There's the well-known 91, and forums with very specific purposes. I've always observed and learned as a "lurker," simply seeking sensory stimulation in a boring life. As time went on, my initial thoughts slowly changed. There's a saying: "What happens to others is a story; what happens to you is an accident." We always like to imagine good stories happening to ourselves, enjoying the satisfaction of this immersion, while avoiding accidents.
That's how I gradually started to project others' experiences onto myself—everything was a perfect experience: the thrill of a threesome, the passion of swapping, the enjoyment of a double penetration. It felt like this moment was about to bring everything to fruition, yet I thought those failed and painful experiences wouldn't happen to me. Reason told me that everything you do requires a process, every process takes time, and every beautiful result you desire requires dedication. So, I started laying the foundation, building my "fortress."
I began trying to let my wife know about these things. Like all women with similar experiences, I would use words to stimulate her during sex. Like all women with similar experiences, her first reaction was, "Honey, do you not love me anymore? Honey, are you trying to divorce me and setting me up?" In the end, she'd say, "Honey, I don't want anyone else, I only want you." All of this made me find my wife both funny and adorable. In daily life, I cared for her, fulfilling all her little wishes. Occasional little surprises would make her overjoyed. Her occasional cuteness and her queenly dominance made me love this woman even more. All of this was based on my genuine love for her; it was all a natural expression. Especially the thought of one day handing her over to another man, watching my beloved woman beneath another man, sometimes moaning softly, sometimes crying out, her dreamy, tender eyes filled with desire and satisfaction… every time I thought of this, I wanted to cherish and love her even more.
The first turning point came during my second pregnancy. She was at her parents' house resting, and I was at home, idly reading some success stories written by experienced women. I said, "Honey, I've got something good for you," and casually took a screenshot and sent it to her. Unexpectedly, this led to a spiral of infatuation; I sent her countless screenshots of articles. Her response was one of inner excitement and a wet panty. From then on, she accepted the existence and understanding of this group, sometimes saying seriously, "Honey, you're being cuckolded! You want me to try more sex, not that you don't love me." What a lovely wife! From then on, we could openly discuss the possibilities of things, share our opinions on these matters, and build trust through mutual exchange, also planting the seeds of desire. During this period, I still hadn't entered this circle. Perhaps the timing wasn't right, or perhaps I hadn't made up my mind yet. Who knew that later events might accelerate our progress?
Those familiar with Tumblr probably know its early fame; the power of targeted recommendations and dissemination was immense. When you follow a group or an interest, a flood of exciting content follows. Overwhelmed by the sheer volume, I was captivated by the experts and the community. At that moment, I knew I was hooked, and I knew we were likely about to enter the circle; it was just a matter of time. What followed was active exploration: joining groups, registering on forums, exchanging information, taking verification photos… Everything was progressing according to plan, anticipating a serendipitous encounter in the distance.
(The entire text does not quote a single word from the internet, nor copy a single paragraph.)
2018.7.5

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Happiness along the way

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