A Record of Interactions with Married Women

Wife: "Deep down, I always have a possessive desire, like wanting to possess my husband. I shouldn't have this thought, but I always harbor fantasies and wishful thinking."

Me: "When you want to possess him, do you really possess him?"

Wife: "I know I can't, but I'm still conflicted."

Me: "Why do you have possessive thoughts?"

Wife: "I think that after marriage, my husband is mine. If he makes even the slightest move, I get very nervous, and then I keep a close eye on him, not giving him any space."

Me: "Can you keep an eye on your husband?"

Wife: "I used to think I could, but now I realize I can't."

Me: "Do you know why?"

Wife: "Intuition

, I guess!" Me: "It's not the thief you should fear, but the one who has his eye on you. What you keep in mind will eventually come back to you."

Wife: "You hit the nail on the head."

Me: "We..." Looking back at the present, past, and future of "marriage," the earliest form of marriage was called "walking marriage," which was a matriarchal society dominated by women. After a day's work, if a woman found a man she liked, she would stay at his house for the night and continue working the next day. Children were not raised by men; everything was handled independently by the woman's family.

Wife: "Won't the child only know who the mother is, and possibly not who the father is?"

Me: "That's possible."

Wife: "That's a bit unimaginable."

Me: "Anything you can't understand is a matter of time and space. Monogamy has existed for less than a hundred years, but Chinese history records five thousand years of it. This is from a historical perspective, not to make excuses for men's infidelity; these are all facts. From a global perspective, many countries still retain polygamy."

Wife: "Really?" " I don't understand how these countries can be so ignorant?"

I said. "You see others this way, and they see you that way too. In India and Thailand, polygamy is normal, but in our country, polygamy is bigamy. It's just a change of time and place, but the difference is so huge. For example, in Australia, the United States, and the Netherlands, what we call the sex industry are huge listed companies. Can't you understand or imagine that?"

My wife said, "It's incomprehensible. How can they have no morals or shame?"

I said, "That's your understanding. People in other countries might see you as a freak and say that there are no human rights here, no so-called morality. Morality is just a custom formed under the influence of a culture, not a fact. But people use the big stick of morality to demand and condemn others, which is even more immoral."

My wife said: "Listening to you shatters all my past worldviews."

I said, "Everything you see is just a definition; essentially, it's only a temporary phenomenon. People treat these phenomena as facts, but they're all illusions. Even the legalization of monogamy is just a definition. Go back half a century to the old society, polygamy was legal then."

My wife said, "But we live in the present!"

I said, "You're right, but no matter what era we live in, we can't escape human nature. Take red-light districts, for example. In other countries, they're regulated and legalized, but that doesn't lead to promiscuity. In China, they've been banned and suppressed, but this service hasn't disappeared. It's just gone from being public to being clandestine. It's a permanent, essential need; it won't disappear just because it's banned. On the contrary, the more it's banned, the more prevalent it becomes."

My wife said, "Listening to you... " "It really opened my eyes."

Me: "These are all basic common sense. It's just that in the past we accepted a certain ideology, and this ideology made us define everything. Ultimately, this definition, in turn, bound us. When you stand at the level of ancient and modern times, East and West, even the most complex things become clear at a glance, and you won't be imprisoned by any definition."

Wife: "What will the future of marriage be like?"

Me: "This is an era of human awakening. The future of marriage will also undergo a fundamental change. In developed countries in Europe and America, many outstanding men and women actively choose to remain single. This torrent will inevitably sweep across China in the future. People will discover that marriage is also a definition, just for the purpose of procreation and inheritance. In the future, most outstanding men and women will inevitably choose to remain single."

Wife: "Won't marriage then exist in name only?"

Me: "How many marriages are truly in name now?"

Wife: "That's true." It's all a kind of exchange or transaction, ultimately becoming a burden and a harm. It seems there's no need to possess it at all; it's all an illusion.

Me: "Don't even mention husbands; we only have the right to use life, not the right to possess it. Everything in this world, for us, is only a temporary right of use. It's like that joke: who is whose husband? They're all temporary workers. Can money be possessed?"

Wife: "It seems not."

Me: "It only temporarily flows to you, temporarily belongs to you for safekeeping and use. When you leave, even if you take the gold and silver treasures and bury them underground, they don't belong to you. A hundred years later, grave robbers won't let you go; they'll dig up your grave and steal it, making you restless even in death."

Wife: "Your analogy is so vivid."

Me: "You don't belong to your husband, and your husband doesn't belong to you. That day he..." "You've left early, so your grief is only temporary. Before long, you'll remarry, and even your son will change his name. The husband you desperately wanted to possess will be a thing of the past (fleeting memory). Unless you see an object that reminds you of your ex-husband, he'll be completely forgotten. You won't even think of him normally."

Wife: "Hearing you say that, I realize I've been living in a delusion. What I've been trying to possess has all been an illusion."

Me: "We can't possess anything. Everything in the world exists as a resource, serving us. We take it when we need it, and let it go when we don't. Otherwise, it becomes the biggest burden in our lives. When you don't possess anything, you are empty. Everything in the world is for your use. The more you possess, the heavier the burden." "The heavier you are, the less you can use."

Wife: "I can't describe my feelings right now. The problem that has troubled me for years has suddenly become clear in your casual words. It's like I'm carrying nothing, so I can take anything and use it. But if my hands are full, and I see something good, I can't enjoy it unless I drop what I already have."

Me: "The future is a sharing economy. There will be no more concept of ownership. Everything will be shared, and everything will be shared. When you live in this dimension, you will no longer think about possessing. You will only focus on yourself. Just focus on improving your own value. Don't always think about possessing your husband. Think about how to love him and how to help him succeed. Even if he flies high, he can't escape the embrace of your love."

Wife: "I understand. I'm not worried anymore. I know what to do."

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A Record of Interactions with Married Women

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