My true feelings

I live in a large city in northern China. I'm 38 years old and work in a management position at the grassroots level of a state-owned enterprise. My wife is 36 and works in the property management of a large shopping mall. She's 1.66 meters tall, and while she wouldn't be considered a beauty, her appearance and demeanor are certainly better than many ordinary housewives. We've been married for almost ten years and have a child who just started elementary school. My wife and I met through an introduction. I was immediately attracted to her beautiful appearance and outgoing personality. We got married in less than a year. The first few years of our marriage were our honeymoon period, and it was wonderful. Our sex life was harmonious, and my wife was quite good in bed. Although she wasn't a virgin, I didn't have any virginity complex. She was already 25 when I met her, and I expected that she had had previous relationships. A few years later, we had our child. From then on, the pressures of life, caring for elderly parents and a young child, and dealing with the mundane details of daily life began to mount. My wife's quick temper and irritable personality gradually surfaced, leading to constant arguments over everyday life's minor conflicts. Our sex life also decreased with age and the children growing up. In recent years, my wife may have developed frigidity, showing even less desire for sex. Sexual intimacy has become a chore, lacking foreplay and communication, completed mechanically. Sometimes she'll even urge me to hurry up, saying she's sleepy, or that it's not over yet—things that spoil the mood. Twice, I myself was interrupted halfway through because of her loss of interest, either going soft or ending abruptly. (Of course, I'm not impotent; men understand, if you don't want to do it, you won't get an erection). Actually, I'm a person whose inner self and outward appearance are completely different; deep down, I crave different kinds of stimulation. My sexual awakening wasn't too late; in school, I secretly went to video arcades with a group of male classmates to watch adult films. In college, I was accidentally exposed to things like BDSM. At first, I didn't take it seriously and watched it like porn. Later, I found myself developing strange feelings towards the content. In this type of film, I didn't feel much for the dominant (S) but developed a longing for the submissive (M). From then on, a submissive mentality took root in my heart. However, when I told several people I wanted to play with them and have them be the queen, they were all resistant and looked down on my approach. After several unsuccessful attempts, I gradually gave up on this idea and treated BDSM as a sexual fantasy. After getting married and having children, I had even less time to pursue these thoughts. But after a few years of disharmony in my marital life, these buried thoughts slowly resurfaced. I tentatively talked to my wife about it, but she was annoyed. Occasionally, when I tried to try it with her, she would scold me, saying I was perverted and would corrupt the children. We even talked about divorce and separation, and I never dared to bring it up again. I've also found female dominants online, the kind you pay for, and tried it a few times. It was quite enjoyable. However, because the female Dom's fees were too high, and my wife controlled the household finances, I sometimes struggled financially and couldn't play for long periods. So I joined some SM groups and forums, fantasizing with netizens online. A while ago, I came across a topic about cuckoldry, and out of curiosity, I just looked at it. Unexpectedly, I quite liked it, so I collected a lot of content about cuckoldry online. After seeing an article titled "Training My Husband to Become a Cuckold," I became completely obsessed. From the bottom of my heart, I longed for this kind of life. I don't know who the author is. If I knew, I would thank him in person; he awakened the deepest, most submissive desires within me. I didn't even realize that I had previously enjoyed the cuckoldry dom/cuckoldry lifestyle so much.
My personal opinion on cuckoldry is that most cuckolds or cuckolds simply enjoy the thrill rather than having a genuine psychological desire for it. For a man, regardless of whether he is impotent, witnessing another man playing with and humiliating his wife, his goddess, or his bed partner is very stimulating (of course, most initially feel angry, but the physiological reaction is very strong). The greater the contrast in status, the stronger the stimulation for the cuckold's wife being wantonly played with and humiliated. Of course, whether it's a cuckold or a cuckold master, or a wife, especially a long-term cuckold master, one must respect and control the normal life, marriage, and love of the cuckold and his wife. You are the master, not a mistress. To be a qualified cuckold master is to play with the wife offered by the cuckold and humiliate the cuckold.

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My true feelings

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