ex-wife's infidelity

I'm from Xianyang, Shaanxi. I've been following couples-based dating services for almost three years now, and I've enjoyed it from the very beginning. I genuinely like it. I got married in 2009, and it was probably around 2011. After my ex-wife cheated on me, she didn't come home. I called her many times, and at that time, I felt a mix of emotions. I finally got through, and she was already in a hotel. Instead of apologizing, she told me about what happened. The online friend kept urging her to come over. He finished get off work around 5 PM, so she took the highway to Xi'an around 4 PM, waited at the station for a while, and then he arrived. While he was looking for her, they were on the phone. He patted her on the back, then grabbed her hand and led her out of the station. We hailed a taxi and went back to our rented room in Yuhuazhai urban village. There was a power outage when I entered, and the rented room was poorly lit. As soon as I entered, the guy raped me, kissed me, and undressed me. My ex-wife was already aroused and her vagina was open. He took out a condom, saying it was a good quality one, and put it on. My ex-wife lay on her bed, and he thrust into her violently, explaining to her that it was like a "fierce snake entering a hole." My ex-wife was already enjoying it immensely. But he ejaculated very quickly. He told my ex-wife to leave immediately, saying he shared a house with a friend and would be back soon. I guessed he was with his girlfriend, and if they found out, it would be terrible. While she was outside, he bought some takeout and booked a hotel room for her. They chatted for a while before he left. I was burning with lust, constantly masturbating, and I never expected this guy to actually do something like this. The psychological stimulation and excitement outweighed the humiliation. Perhaps that's when the seeds of infidelity were sown. Later, the slut cheated on me several more times, once not returning home for over a month, and people said she might be pregnant. We already had a daughter at the time, and we were both young and full of vigor, so we were adamant about divorce, with no room for negotiation. We finally divorced. Looking back, I was too young. I found my second wife several years after the divorce. Actually, my ex-wife didn't know how to use the internet at first, so I taught her to use QQ. She added many men on QQ; people are curious about new things, and she quickly became addicted to chatting with many people on QQ. Another time, she met a guy online and gave him her phone number. That was in the beginning; he asked her out, but she was too shy to go, so they chatted on the phone. Once, I was in the room when he called her, asking her to moan for him. My ex-wife said she wasn't comfortable, so he asked her to moan in the bathroom, saying he'd call her back in a few minutes, and then hung up. My ex-wife asked me what to do. I said not to go to the bathroom, just to the room. She said she was shy, and after thinking for a moment, she said she'd be in bed. I said okay. She actually got into bed, and then the phone rang. My ex-wife, that slut, was really moaning there. I'd never heard her moan when we were having sex. She was moaning and groaning in bed, and I couldn't resist. As soon as I hung up the phone, I had sex with her. I didn't feel any shame then; it was actually quite exciting. This further encouraged my wife to go online. She'd never worked before, had no social experience, and was easily hooked, unable to extricate herself. After the divorce, my parents were very worried. Looking back now, I realize I was too impulsive. I let my ex-wife go online just for the thrill, without considering the serious consequences. Thinking about it now still excites me. Maybe back then, I slowly began to realize that being cuckolded wasn't all about humiliation; only those who have truly experienced it can understand. My writing skills are limited; this is all based on my personal experience, so some parts might be a bit disjointed and incoherent. I've wanted to write this down for a long time, but couldn't find a suitable platform. Then I saw the 91 forum, but accounts were extremely difficult to obtain, so I gave up. Recently, I discovered the 69 Paradise platform, which is very convenient. I want my wife to try couples dating, but I'm afraid it will affect our family relationship. I'm feeling very conflicted, yet I don't want to give up. I still vividly remember the exciting and stimulating feeling. I'm unwilling to live such a mediocre life. What should I do...?

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ex-wife's infidelity

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