A love that shook half a lifetime

The grand chiming
clock at the South City Station, its six chimes echoing in the silent morning air, jolted me awake from a nightmare that felt like an eternal return.

Ever since last year, when my only gold-plated watch was exchanged for a train ticket due to insufficient travel funds, I've relied solely on the station clock to keep track of time. I slowly sat up, wiping the cold sweat from my brow, and looked around to confirm that I was indeed in my ancestral home, in our own room. On a crisp early winter morning, before the sun had risen from behind the mountain, the room was shrouded in a dim, cool blue light, heavy with a somber atmosphere. Shadows from the previous night still lingered in the corners and under the table, a stark reminder of the desolate twilight that awaited the family.

The dream I had just had was still vivid in my mind. In it, Xiaoxue sat coldly to the side on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, then turned to look at me, her face filled with sorrow and bitterness.

I shook my head to calm my thoughts, got up, and went to the window to look out. Snow was falling all around, the distant view hazy, yet the snow was heavy but not fierce. Snowflakes drifted down and touched my lips, melting gently and slowly, like an old friend coming to lightly kiss me.

This scene reminded me of events from twenty years ago, those memories that still bleed through my life, and that kiss as heavy as a mountain…

Love. Shaking. Half a Life,

Part One

[Love. Shaking]

Twenty years ago, I was still an ignorant young man born into a wealthy family.

Our Fang family originated from Sanjiazi in Beiping, a well-known wealthy and powerful family in the area. We owned
countless fields and mountains, and our family had been scholars for generations. I heard that our great-grandfather's generation even produced some scholars who passed the imperial examinations. In addition, my
brother has been working hard and achieving remarkable success in business since he took over the family seven years ago, so our family's prosperity is naturally even greater than before.

Although we are a wealthy family, the Fang family is small. My mother passed away not long after I was born, leaving only
my father, my brother, and me. Apart from an uncle who lived in the southern part of the city, we had no one else.

My father, who was in charge of the family business, was not a scholar, but he was kind and honest and treated his tenants well, making him a capable
person to maintain the family business. My elder brother, ten years my senior, is ambitious and, while helping our father manage the family business, actively engages in commerce. In this time of
national turmoil and internal and external troubles, he
has made remarkable achievements in businesses closely related to the nation, such as textiles, rice, and medicinal herbs.

Among the three of us, I am the only one who does not engage in production. What is rare for most people is the opportunity
to receive a university education in bustling Hong Kong. I completed it with a nonchalant attitude, but
for our father, who still hopes that a scholar or a licentiate will emerge from the family, this is already a great honor and a source of great joy. He has no other demands on me,
except for constantly urging my brother and me to get married and continue the family line.

Like other modern youths educated in the West, I yearned for the freedom romanticized and idealized by Western literature
, and detested constraints. I loathed traditional, conservative family businesses, the sleazy smell of merchants, the self-righteous
scholars, and the tragic state of a nation ravaged by bandits and war. For these reasons, I drifted aimlessly
through the days, until that day, when Xiaoxue appeared in my life like a spark igniting a firework.

Twenty years ago, in early December, when the weather was still chilly, Xiaoxue, true to her name, arrived in
Beiping (Beijing) amidst a blanket of snow. The Fang family's wedding became a major event in the neighborhood that year, with lanterns and decorations everywhere, creating a lively atmosphere.

I learned from my brother that Xiaoxue came from a scholarly family in Shenyang, received a modern education, and was beautiful and refined,
possessing the elegance of a young lady. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area, and was immediately captivated by her beauty. After years of persistent
pursuit , he finally won her heart and they married.

My brother told me that he didn't know
that .

As for me, it wasn't until his wedding day that I truly understood the meaning of my brother's words.

The wedding was exceptionally lively and exciting. Early in the morning, the sounds of music, firecrackers, and cheers from the crowds
echoed from the streets. Everyone in the family rushed to the front door to catch a glimpse of the bride's beauty. From afar, I watched as
the matchmaker carried the bride, dressed in a peach-red phoenix-embroidered silk gown and wearing a red silk crown with a gold phoenix design, into the house,
seemingly unconcerned. But for me, who loathed elaborate rituals, the noisy, clinking of glasses and the general clamor of the house were utterly irritating
, so I tried to avoid them whenever possible.

After the wedding ceremony, there was an endless stream of banquets and social obligations, with identical faces and identical blessings offered
one after another. As night fell, my elderly father, having drunk too much, had already gone to bed, and my brother was celebrating his wedding night
. As the only host in the main hall, I was naturally busy with social obligations and couldn't leave. Finally, after much effort, the guests had either become drunk or left,
and was nearly dawn. After seeing

the last guest off at the gate, I looked up at the sky. The once dark horizon was now showing a pale, fish-belly-like light
. Exhausted, I let out a long, stifling sigh, wanting nothing more than to head back to my room and sleep soundly. Just as I returned to my room via the pebbled path through the hanging flower gate corridor, I saw a strange woman sitting alone on a pavilion in the garden, staring blankly at the swirling snowflakes. Before me was an exceptionally beautiful woman, with a face that was both round and sharp, like an oval seed. Her long, unadorned black hair cascaded straight down her shoulders, and her long, curved eyelashes were captivating. Paired with her two clear, almond-shaped eyes , they seemed to be hidden behind layers of curtains, revealing a string of alluring glances when parted. She sat sideways on the stone bench, her slender figure and full breasts, barely concealed by her thick cotton coat, shimmering with a bluish glow in the morning light, exuding an ethereal beauty. It was a transparent and otherworldly beauty, extremely subtle. The ethereal yet radiant light she emanated filled the entire space, as if the surroundings had frozen in time, as if any disturbance would shatter and cease to exist. It was a natural, noble quality that surrendered to all, instilling a sense of unease, making it hard to breathe. I stood there, lost in thought, my palms sweating, afraid to move. The wind blew, and time seemed to stand still. Just then, tears suddenly streamed down her face. At first, they flowed quietly, but soon she began to convulse, then burst into silent wailing. This sudden turn of events threw me into disarray. I took a small step back, bumping into the bonsai behind me and shattering the tranquility. The woman looked at me with a hint of surprise, but within a second, she regained her composure and gently wiped away her tears. "Good morning, Second Uncle," she said. She was my sister-in-law, whom I had never met before, my brother's bride, Xiaoxue. "Oh...so it's Sister-in-law. You're up so early? I haven't slept yet!...Where's my brother?" I stammered for a moment before replying. "He's probably not used to sleeping in unfamiliar places. Your brother is still sleeping. Your Second Uncle is tired too. Go back to your room and rest !"

After she finished speaking, she didn't wait for my reply, and just went back to the room, leaving a sweet aftertaste slowly
seeping into the surroundings. I stood there alone, not knowing where my sleep had gone, leaving only a trace of confusion and
an uneasy feeling in my mind.

A few days passed, and I didn't have many opportunities to meet this sister-in-law, and we didn't say anything other than nodding and saying hello.
However there was a beautiful woman in the house who was unexpectedly short of breath, and the whole big house also had an
awkward and uneasy atmosphere.

On the fifth day of the wedding, my brother was about to go to the south for business, leaving my wife alone at home.
My father saw that Xiaoxue had been alone at home for many days, so he asked me to accompany her outside. I
readily agreed, and Xiaoxue neither said yes nor no, simply following behind me. The two of us silently left the house
and went out into the street.

I rarely spend time alone with my daughter, and for a moment we looked at each other shyly, speechless. Seeing the awkward atmosphere, I took
Xiaoxue to the place between Zhengyangmen and Yongdingmen, known as "Tianqiao" (the bridge the emperor used to walk on).
To the east bridge is the Temple of Heaven, and to the west is the Temple of Agriculture. Both sides of the bridge are lined with stalls of all sizes, pushing carts and carrying stretchers, displaying
all kinds of local snacks and various trinkets. There are countless street performers and fortune tellers, and the place is bustling with people.

Arriving at this ordinary people's market that I don't usually go to, Xiaoxue's face was noticeably less gloomy than before.
We browsed each stall, eating mung bean balls, then fried shrimp, and finally a piping hot jianbing (Chinese crepe).
Seeing Xiaoxue intently looking at the trinkets, I bought her a small powder box and a white ivory folding fan.
She thanked me with a smile, and I smiled back. Despite being three years older than me, she held these little things with a childlike
joy. I comforted her, and at the same time, I clearly understood Xiaoxue's recent melancholy.

Tired from walking, I took Xiaoxue to Beidaihe, where it was quieter, without a sound of cars,
and Xiaoxue's mood calmed down.

"Sister-in-law, are you hungry? I'll go buy some food..." After a moment of silence, everyone fell silent again. I tried to make
conversation, hoping to slip away as a strategic retreat.

"Yusheng, we're about the same age. Don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiaoxue! We're all young people, and I
don't want to call you 'Second Uncle,' it sounds too formal." Xiaoxue, ever the worldly-wise one, broke down the barrier between
them .

"Okay! I think so too. I love the name Xiaoxue, it suits you perfectly." This was my
honest opinion.

"Really? It's a pity it doesn't sound good with your brother's name! Fang Fengyang, Huo Xiaoxue, it sounds like they'd stir up a snowstorm if they walked
together !"

"Haha! I didn't even think of that until you mentioned it, it does sound a bit ominous!" I joked.
"Yusheng, I'm Xue, and you're Yu. Our names complement each other perfectly! But don't misunderstand, I
only mean our names!"

Xiaoxue smiled at me, a gentle breeze brushing past my ear. Her words and expression stirred a powerful
emotion within me, a bittersweet feeling.

I couldn't reply, and then another silence fell. At that moment, I recalled
the scene of Xiaoxue sitting in the courtyard on the morning of our wedding day—her sorrow and her tears. I wanted to know her thoughts, I wanted to understand her more, but I didn't know
where to begin.

We gazed at each other in silence. Suddenly, a series of alarm cries
came , followed by deafening sirens blaring from all directions. Xiaoxue was terrified, looking around in confusion, not knowing
what . I was also at a loss, so I grabbed Xiaoxue's hand and we ran,
heading towards the air-raid shelter like everyone else. The streets were in chaos; people were calling for their mothers, searching for their children, and some had fallen and been
trampled by those behind them. The once bustling street had instantly transformed into a hellish scene.

We ran and ran without caring about anything, finally reaching the air-raid shelter. It seemed rather small, and
the walls inside were pitch black. Before Xiaoxue and I could even settle in, we were constantly being
pushed in by the people following us. More and more people filed in, and we were constantly being squeezed and bumped from all directions. I spread my arms and tried my best to protect
Xiaoxue , but after the large steel door of the air-raid shelter closed, everyone was crammed together face to face and back to back.
I, who had been protecting Xiaoxue with my outstretched arms, ended up holding Xiaoxue tightly in my arms, chest to chest.

Xiaoxue and I were face to face, nose to nose, our rapid
breaths constantly spraying onto each other's faces. I smelled the sweet fragrance of a woman's breath and the intoxicating scent of roses
in her hair and body. In the darkness, I saw the light emanating from Xiaoxue's pupils.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together without any gap. I could feel her full, soft breasts
pressing against me, rising and falling. One of my arms, holding her, rested on her smooth back, while the other rested on her lower
back, slightly above her hips. The softness and elasticity there were no less than Xiaoxue's breasts.

Embracing her soft, warm body, my disobedient manhood was already hard against Xiaoxue's lower abdomen, making me
feel extremely embarrassed, yet also very satisfied. I don't know if she felt my restless,
unruly pounding. All I know is that Xiaoxue, whom I held tightly in my arms, was trembling stiffly, her heart pounding
and her breath coming in rapid gasps from our pressed bodies.

Time kept passing, and the scene before me was both awkward and warm. The air-raid shelter was filled with the noise of
people crying and the strong smell of body odor, but I felt nothing at all while being held tightly in the arms of this beautiful woman.
I was now in a world with only the two of us. The person opposite me was fragrant, warm, soft, and smooth.
Her breath was drawn into my body directly from her nostrils, and then my breath was absorbed directly
by the woman's body in front of me. This exchange of breath made me feel extremely intimate.

Unable to resist, I hugged her tighter and tighter, my lower body thrusting forward uncontrollably. My heart was racing, my throat was dry, and
I instinctively licked my lips with my tongue. The tip of my tongue seemed to touch something, and the body I was holding trembled slightly, but there was no other
extreme reaction. As if encouraged by something, I involuntarily parted my trembling lips slightly and moved forward quietly at a speed
almost zero.

Just as their lips were about to touch, a completely different alarm sounded from outside—
the all-clear signal. It seemed this was another false alarm. Ever since the numerous horrific incidents involving the Japanese in China
, rumors of war had been circulating everywhere. Major cities were like frightened birds, filled with unease, and
false air raid reports were frequent. Of course, no one could be sure that the next one would be a false alarm as well.

The alarm was off, and everyone inside the cave let out various
sighs , before leaving the air-raid shelter one by one, their bodies limp and exhausted. I dragged Xiaoxue from the darkness back into
the sunlight. Fortunately, it was nearing dusk, and the sunlight wasn't too glaring. I looked back at Xiaoxue; her head was down, her face
flushed red in the sunset, and I finally remembered the intimate scene we had just witnessed in the darkness.

It was true I had taken advantage, and it had completely crossed the line of intimacy between lovers. Yet, I
had been forced, against my will, and had no choice. Apologizing wasn't an option, nor was not apologizing. I felt as uneasy as a conscientious
thief.

We returned home in silence. As Xiaoxue went to her room, she turned back and smiled at me.
"Yusheng, thank you. I'm very happy today, and thank you for protecting me. Please don't
worry about ."

Watching Xiaoxue close the door, I felt a sense of relief. Xiaoxue didn't blame me. I closed my eyes, breathed a sigh of relief,
and stood there, like a little rascal who had stolen some candy, quietly savoring the floral scent and feeling.

From then on, Xiaoxue and I became close. She and her husband rarely saw each other, and on days when my brother wasn't around,
Xiaoxue and I were inseparable. I took her all over Beiping (Beijing), and she introduced me to Lu Sao's works and some
European literature I didn't know. I had never met such a knowledgeable woman; she was like a winged forest
fairy in the mundane world, completely different from the traditional and superficial worldly women I had known before.

The barriers between us were broken, and our conversations gradually deepened, ranging from the national situation to
our thoughts on life. Xiaoxue often teased me about my dissatisfaction with life, saying it was just
my immature, childish whining.

One day in the second year after Xiaoxue joined our family, we agreed to stroll around Tiananmen Square in the morning, then walk along Chang'an Avenue to
Xidan, Xisi, and then to the teahouses in Pinganli. In the afternoon, we also took a leisurely walk around Beidaihe. The setting sun cast its crimson glow over Beidaihe
, mingling with the deep shadows of the mountains. In the villas nestled at the foot of the mountains, a few
lights . Xiaoxue and I discussed literature, current events, and life amidst the shimmering lights and reflections on the water.

During our debate, my cynicism was once again mocked, and I retorted, unwilling to accept it, "My
sorrows are just empty words, so what about yours? Why were you crying on your wedding night?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I had said the wrong
thing and was frantically trying to figure out how to smooth things over.

"You wouldn't understand the sorrow of being a daughter!"

Xiaoxue said wistfully, gazing at a point in the distance.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he never
asks. I know, I know he treats me very well, but... but I don't need that..."

Xiaoxue told me that her ideal husband had always been a man whose personality and thoughts were very
compatible . However, her parents wanted her to find a husband who could help the family business. Since she was little
, her parents had been constantly introducing her to wealthy and powerful men for blind dates. Xiaoxue knew that she had no choice in her life's most important matter,
but she still couldn't force herself to accept those vulgar men who made her want to vomit at first glance. Until my brother
appeared , he treated her with deep affection and doted on her. My parents were also very happy with him. Xiaoxue was moved,
and knowing that she was already twenty-seven and getting old, she didn't want to waste any more years and disappoint her family. This also relieved her of
a burden.

Winter had just passed, and the spring sun was shining brightly. The weather was neither sunny nor rainy. The cotton-like clouds in the sky
dispersed one by one, revealing patches of green smiles. The gentle breeze warmed my heart. I stared blankly
at Xiaoxue, feeling her sorrow as a new woman living in the old society.

"Yusheng, can you stop staring at me like that all the time? People will misunderstand!" She broke the silence
and turned to look at me.

It turned out that Xiaoxue had noticed me often staring at her with malicious intent, but at this moment, my gaze was devoid
of any desire, and I confidently met her eyes without looking away.

"Xiaoxue, when your brother isn't around, I will take his place and protect you properly."

Xiaoxue gazed into my eyes with watery eyes, then looked away awkwardly after a moment.

Realizing my lapse in composure, I quickly rambled on, "I hope that the next generation of women in China can be
independent and self-reliant , making their own decisions about their lives, and no longer needing men to protect them. You know, everyone likes
to have a son in the family, but I, Fang Yusheng, prefer daughters! I don't like boys!"

"Hmm? Yusheng likes daughters?" Xiaoxue turned to look at me.

"I love it. A little girl is like a doll; she'll be so lovable when she grows up. Unlike boys,
who are ugly and not quite grown up until they're six or seven, and then you have to spoil them terribly!"

Xiaoxue laughed, amused by my words, and jokingly added, "Yusheng likes little girls. If I have a
daughter , can I name her Xiaoyu...?" Her words became increasingly incoherent and wrong, so Xiaoxue quickly stopped talking.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew through the dense foliage of the trees in the twilight, its deep green roar
spreading slowly like ripples, and the cawing of crows echoed from the mountainside.

I pounced on Xiaoxue, hugging her and kissing her lips.

A moment later, a sharp "slap" resounded.

"If you do that again, I'll tell your brother! Yusheng, I'm your sister-in-law
!" Xiaoxue warned me sharply, her face flushed and her eyes blazing.

A burning pain shot through my face as I clutched my cheek, looking at Xiaoxue in terror, unsure what to do.

Dark clouds hung low and thick without warning, completely obscuring the crimson sunset. The cold, chilly sky, as if rain was imminent,
suddenly plunged into darkness. The once cool spring breeze howled incessantly. We remained silent
, allowing time for the turmoil in our hearts to subside.

"It's getting dark, let's go back!"

"Okay."

After that day, Xiaoxue deliberately avoided me. Aside from the three meals a day when the family had to sit together, I
had no time to spend with her.

This caused me immense distress.

What did I do wrong? Why do you say our names match? Why do you say we should name our daughter Xiaoyu?
Isn't that a hint? Why do you say your ideal husband should be compatible with your personality and thoughts? Isn't that me
? Why are you rejecting me? Why are you avoiding me? Xiaoxue, what are you trying to say to me?

Xiaoxue has been married into the Fang family for three years, but she still hasn't borne any children. Her father is starting to insist on taking
a concubine for her brother, which her brother, who cherishes Xiaoxue dearly, is naturally very opposed to. During this time, there's been a lot of tension between her father, brother, and Xiaoxue.
They argued frequently.

To fulfill their father's wish to have a successor, my brother would seize every opportunity to be intimate with Xiaoxue whenever he came home. On
quiet lonely nights, I would often vaguely hear a woman's soft moans coming from the next room, whether it was my imagination or not
. I would fantasize about Xiaoxue's snow-white naked body being molested by my brother, while desperately stroking my manhood,
jealousy aching in my chest.

It was another sad December night. The winter solstice was in two days. It hadn't snowed before, but
that night, the snow truly fell, a thin layer of white snow covering the ground. That night, my father and brother went out to a banquet, and
I also got a little drunk and stumbled home. Reaching the courtyard, I was bathed in
the crisscrossing white snow and black tree shadows, and the drowsiness that had seeped into my brain suddenly vanished.

I saw that the door to my brother's room next door was only slightly ajar, with candlelight flickering through the small crack
.

All sleepiness vanished, but the intoxication reached its peak. I stumbled into my brother's room, slowly pushed open the wooden door, and saw Xiaoxue
lying on her side on the bed, facing the wall with her back to the door. She had probably fallen asleep while waiting for her brother to return.

It was obvious; my brother hadn't come back yet.

Inside the room, her silent figure and the flickering shadow in the candlelight overlapped and intertwined on the wall. My
inner eye spotted a pair of white satin shoes under the white curtains by the bed, and a delicate white
silk blouse and a green silk skirt hanging on a clothes rack. Seeing that Xiaoxue's outer garments were all removed and laid out to the side, a surge of heat
rose . My mind wandered, and I crossed the threshold to the bedside. A strong, intoxicating fragrance emanating from a woman after a bath
filled the entire room, making me feel intoxicated. My head spun, and I uncontrollably got into bed,
lying on my side beside Xiaoxue in the same position.

Xiaoxue didn't react.

After lying there holding my breath for a while, I moved my head closer, gently nuzzling my nose against the back of Xiaoxue's hair, inhaling her
rose-like scent. At that moment, I felt as if I had returned to that phantom time when we were pressed together in the air-raid shelter.

"Mmm..." Xiaoxue snorted.

Just like when I heard Xiaoxue's cries at midnight before, I was dizzy with excitement, my desire burning ever brighter.
One hand uncontrollably slipped under the covers and slowly moved from behind to Xiaoxue's chest.

Finally, I grasped one of Xiaoxue's breasts, which was only covered by a thin blouse!

That was Xiaoxue's breast, that was my home, that was the hope I had longed to touch for the past three years, a hope I
had dared not have .

The firm, full breasts, their heat and swelling sensation emanating from my palms, possessed a soft yet elastic texture
that defied description. I gently squeezed and kneaded them with my fingers, the smooth, watery flesh rippling freely in my palms. I
wantonly ravaged and teased those undulating roundness, the protruding nipples gradually hardening.

Having found my target, I pinched those tender nipples between my fingertips and played with them at will. The body I touched
trembled slightly. In extreme excitement, I extended my tongue to lick that alluring pink neck. The woman before me virtuously and obediently
raised for me to lick, the tip of my tongue experiencing the most exquisite skin sensation in the world, as soft and sweet as egg white.

I was completely captivated. My tongue savored the smoothness of her neck, then moved to her delicate earlobe, before curling
my tongue probing into her ear canal. Xiaoxue flinched slightly, her waist swaying gracefully.

Lost in passion, my tongue greedily searched for her lips. Xiaoxue, understanding, obediently turned her face towards me.

At that moment, our eyes met.

"Yusheng!? How could it be you? What are you doing here!?"

The man sleeping beside her wasn't her husband. Xiaoxue's almond-shaped eyes widened in fury as she shouted and tried
to push me away.

At that moment, I had completely lost my senses. Without hesitation, I forcefully pressed Xiaoxue's hands down, pinning her heavily
beneath me.

"Xiaoxue! I love you! I've always loved you! You know my feelings, so why are you
avoiding me?"

"You're drunk! Yusheng, you can't think like that anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!"
Looking into my eyes, Xiaoxue's initially angry expression began to show panic.

"I don't care! I want you! Xiaoxue, I love you so much! Don't run away from me! I want to have you now!"

I forcefully kissed Xiaoxue's lips. She struggled desperately, my kisses covering her face, cheeks, ears, and neck.

"No! No! Yusheng… I'm your… sister-in-law… no… no… I beg you… no…"

Although Xiaoxue trembled terribly, she tried her best to suppress her cries, afraid of alerting those outside.

This is the old society! A woman who is violated and humiliated is not even allowed to cry out for help! If others find out about
this "moral and shameful act," the woman will always be the one who suffers!

I didn't want to disturb the servants, so I silenced Xiaoxue's pleading mouth with my own, my tongue plunging deep into her
mouth to touch her tongue tip.

Xiaoxue was speechless, so I took the opportunity to explore every corner of her mouth with my tongue, entwining her
delicate tongue, gathering the saliva inside, and then bringing it to my own mouth.

I pressed Xiaoxue down on the bed and kissed her incessantly, while gusts of cold wind blew in through the cracks in the window, scattering the flickering
candlelight across the floor.

"Mmm...no...mmm..." After being pressed down and kissed by a large man for a long, long time, Xiaoxue's delicate
voice grew weaker and weaker, her struggles waning. I released Xiaoxue and began
to roam freely .

Xiaoxue's body, thoroughly explored by me, began to tremble, only able to offer sporadic resistance.

I unfastened the three knots on her right breast, pulling open her blouse
to reveal slightly sunken shoulder hollows, full, high breasts, two delicate pink nipples,
a slender waist with graceful lines, and a rounded lower abdomen revealing a hint of pubic hair. I was momentarily stunned.

Xiaoxue shyly covered herself with her hands, but I forcefully pulled one away and then grasped her alluring breasts,
sucking and licking them with abandon, savoring them like precious jewels.

"Mmm...mmm...no..." By this time, Xiaoxue was completely exhausted, her hands only able to slightly push my
shoulders .

At this moment, the prey before me was powerless to resist, and my animalistic instincts subsided.
Before the woman I loved most in my life, the most precious treasure in the world. With boundless tenderness, I
gazed upon her captivating body once more, then sealed each inch with kisses. I savored Xiaoxue's every move,
starting kissing down to her eyelids, kissing her cheeks, neck, and shoulders, then leaning in to breathe deeply and lick her intoxicating armpits, sucking...
I licked each slender, jade-like finger, then savored the smooth, soft skin of her back, her rounded, pert buttocks, and every inch of her long, jade-like
feet . Xiaoxue, kissed all over her body, was almost completely limp, panting heavily, her eyes glazed,
her small mouth only able to murmur softly.

Her lower garments had already been removed. After tasting each delicate toe, I slowly parted Xiaoxue's legs.
Two pale pink labia came into view, with a large, sticky patch in the middle. Her body didn't lie;
it had responded to my intrusion with a cheer. However, as a shameful married woman, having her most
private parts completely exposed to a man other than her husband, and even reacting with desire, filled Xiaoxue with
unbearable . She covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

I lowered my head and inhaled the faint, slightly fishy fragrance of orchids, which was intoxicating. I couldn't help but stick out my tongue and lick
the flesh of her honeyed orifice. Xiaoxue's previously limp body convulsed violently as if electrocuted, then
tensed up . With each lick, Xiaoxue stretched and bent more like a rubber band. When I took a big sip, she
arched back as if the string had been cut, her whole body paralyzed and relaxed, letting out a long sigh.

I breathed in the intoxicating fragrance, licking every crevice of her flower, constantly sipping the gushing nectar,
and digging deep into the heart of her flower with my tongue. Xiaoxue's waist arched and tightened intermittently, sometimes curling up and going limp; it was hard to tell
whether was a thousand pleasures or ten thousand torments.

Having savored the most alluring flower bud in the world, I sipped from the protruding pistil, then
licked straight up from there, past the grass, the navel, the cleavage, until I reached her lips. My entire body was now in position. I assumed a stance,
my manhood thrusting unreservedly into the flower bud.

The glans pressed against the warm, moist mud, stretching open the tight walls of flesh, reaching the deepest part of her dream. Xiaoxue, who had been
weeping , suddenly widened her almond-shaped eyes, her mouth half-open, staring at me with terror, experiencing
this important moment as I became her man.

Xiaoxue and I were finally one! I gazed at Xiaoxue with deep affection, my lower body beginning to
move rhythmically, gradually increasing in speed. Xiaoxue looked at me with a face that was neither crying nor laughing, her lower body slowly twisting to meet my
thrusts . Encouraged, I moved faster and faster uncontrollably, and with a few powerful thrusts, I couldn't
help but ejaculate prematurely in the midst of excessive stimulation and excitement, a large amount of my pent-up semen violently
injected into the deepest part of Xiaoxue's dream. Xiaoxue seemed to sense it as well, gripping my shoulders tightly with both hands, her starry eyes hazy,
her face flushed. Her feminine instincts transformed her back into a virtuous and submissive woman, accepting the man's seed and nourishment.

This moment was the ecstasy of my life, the pinnacle of my existence. I was united with the woman I loved most,
planting my deepest seed of love within her dreams, imprinting the most intimate mark upon her life, making her my
woman, belonging only to me for life. After fertilization, Xiaoxue's entire body turned pink, a
blissful testament to her acceptance of my love.

We stood breathless, facing each other, the woman before me her face flushed with a beautiful blush, her eyes
brimming with captivating charm, gazing tenderly into my eyes. Looking at her captivating face, I couldn't resist lowering my head
to kiss her again. This time, Xiaoxue didn't resist; instead, she opened her small mouth and extended her tongue to meet my kiss. Overjoyed, I
closed enjoyed the entanglement of our tongues. My manhood, which had been buried deep in my dreams since my release, was
now stirring again.

Xiaoxue, already melted by my touch, swayed her slender waist and lovingly embraced my head, allowing me to
kiss her all over. After a while, my waist ached, and I wanted to change positions, but I didn't want to leave Xiaoxue, afraid that
the seed I had just injected would overflow. I grabbed one of Xiaoxue's legs and, still inside her, rotated her
body, making her lie face down on the bed. As her body was rotated, Xiaoxue couldn't help but let out
a cry like a fairy.

Having completed the turn, I thrust forward with a firm stance, my long, powerful strokes making my ample buttocks, which appeared even more exaggerated from
behind , slapped loudly with each impact. Xiaoxue, with her back to me, initially bit
her arm to endure it, but as the thrusts grew stronger and more frequent, she finally couldn't hold back any longer and let out a roaring
wail.

The creaking of the bed frame and the slapping of flesh against flesh rose and fell, faster
and more frequent, until finally merging into a single, continuous sound. Xiaoxue, her hair disheveled and back to me, went from roaring to
opening her mouth but unable to utter a sound. I couldn't control myself, riding the woman I loved most from behind, wantonly torturing and ravaging her
. Then, in the wildest posture, at the peak of pleasure, I once again ejaculated my
deep .

With each release, my penis felt the vaginal walls spasm and convulse, knowing that Xiaoxue was
simultaneously reaching a soul-stirring climax with me, leaving me utterly satisfied.

After the climax, my excited body calmed down slightly, and I turned Xiaoxue over using the same movements as before. The
connection between us felt grinding and rotating again, and Xiaoxue once more gasped and cried out in pain.

We gazed at each other face to face again. Xiaoxue, her body brimming with my seed, had shed all her ladylike dignity and shyness.
Her hair was disheveled, her face flushed, her eyes half-open, her gaze fixed on my face with a wild, lustful light.

I kissed her tenderly, and my manhood, which hadn't left me for a moment, began to throb again without fatigue.
Xiaoxue gently hooked her arms around my neck, swaying her hips naturally, displaying her erotic pleasure without any shame. Honey-like fluid continuously overflowed from the depths of her
already swollen cavity, making beautiful "plop plop" sounds.

We were intertwined on the bed like two snakes, lost in endless ecstasy, giving and receiving again
and again , tenderly loving, joyfully entwined.

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast?!"

A sudden roar rang out from outside the door. Startled from our blissful state, we both looked towards the door. My brother stood there,
his face purple, glaring at us and roaring!

Startled, I quickly regained my composure. I coldly got up and dressed, while
Xiaoxue ashamed, hid under the covers.

"It was me! I insulted Xiaoxue!" I said coldly to my brother.

There was no turning back. I couldn't lose Xiaoxue, I couldn't return her to my brother. I faced
the consequences without hesitation: either I had Xiaoxue, or I was ready to die!

"She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human?! I'll beat you to death, you beast!"

With a powerful punch, he sent me flying, slamming me against the corner of the wall. My vision blurred, and I was still reeling from the shock.
Zhi, the second punch landed, and blood splattered everywhere. My brother, who had always loved me the most, was completely out of control, tears streaming down his face
, cornering me against the wall and beating me mercilessly.

I didn't resist, nor did I defend myself. I accepted it willingly. I didn't regret what I did, but when
I saw Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my heart ached! Xiaoxue, I'm sorry! But this was
necessary , otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

My brother, ten years older than me, had always felt responsible as the head of the family. Although he was strict with me, he
had never physically punished his younger brother. I knew that behind the strict father's mask, he had always loved me dearly. At that moment,
my brother beat me like a madman. I could clearly feel how much grief he was experiencing, how disappointed he was in me, and
how deep his love for Xiaoxue was.

I'm sorry, brother! Falling in love with your sister-in-law, your brother has no way back. I have to take
this step. As long as I can get through this, a bright future will be ahead. Brother, hit me!
Beat me to death! But if you can't bring yourself to kill this beast in the end, I will run away with Xiaoxue and live happily ever after
!

My brother beat, cursed, and cried all at once. In the end, his tears dried and he ran out of words. He lost his mind and couldn't keep
hitting me. I felt my head was broken, my hands were broken, my sternum was broken, and I was covered in blood from head to toe. My brother was covered in
blood. I knew he didn't want to continue, I knew he kept telling himself to stop, but he just couldn't.
He couldn't face himself except by hitting me. One was his beloved younger brother, the other was his beloved wife. Unable to face
reality my brother, like me, had no way out.

When I saw blood gushing from my throat, even with my swollen and mangled lips from the beating,
I still managed a final, bitter smile. I knew I was going to die! I really couldn't get through this. Just as Xiaoxue said,
we had no future!

"Stop! Feng Yang, don't hit him anymore! No… he didn't force me!"
When I was close to death, Xiaoxue, who had been silent all along, suddenly stepped forward to stop her husband. She was
speaking up ! I didn't know if she was being sincere or just trying to save me. At that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret joy. Xiaoxue
had finally taken the first step for me! If we could just overcome this hurdle and take this step, a bright future would lie ahead
!

As soon as Xiaoxue finished speaking, my brother stopped punching, stopped kicking. He stared blankly back at Xiaoxue, still wrapped in a blanket
on the bed , his desperate eyes welling up with tears again. Xiaoxue stopped crying
. The surroundings were so quiet that only the sound of my own heartbeat could be heard. The nearly burnt-out candlelight flickered, and the silhouettes of
everyone and danced wildly on the walls like demons.

Without a word, my brother abandoned my and Xiaoxue's broken bodies and left the room, his steps unsteady like the flickering candlelight.
The next morning, the servants discovered the brother's already cold body, which had been hanging in the west wing.

My family suffered a devastating blow. My father, heartbroken beyond tears, only said two sentences to me:
"Go! I never want to see you again in this life!"

That was the last time I saw my father's face. I was sometimes lucid and sometimes unconscious, unable even to get out of bed.
The servants carried me in a carriage to my second uncle's house in the south of the city. I lay in my second uncle's house for half a year. When I was able to walk again, I
went home for a visit. The servants didn't dare let me into the house. My steward, Uncle Huai, who had always been very kind to me, secretly told me that Xiaoxue
had returned to her maternal family in Shenyang not long after I was sent away. I rushed to Shenyang immediately. When Xiaoxue's family saw me,
they carried me out with a wooden cane without saying a word. Three months later, when I went to find Xiaoxue again, I found that her whole family had moved away from Shenyang and I had lost all contact with them
since .

Years later, the eight-year War of Resistance against Japan broke out. At a time when the nation's survival was at stake, I wandered alone, searching for Xiaoxue's
family, but to no avail. A

few years later, I received a letter from my second uncle informing me of my father's passing. At that time, war was raging, Beiping had fallen, and communication was cut off. In addition, the letter arrived after several detours, three months after my father's death. I then gave up the idea of risking returning to Beijing for the funeral. More than a decade has passed like flowing water. Until last year, on a sudden whim, I returned to Beiping, which I had left more than ten years ago. My old home was abandoned, with only a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl tending to it. I felt a strange affection and admiration for this girl, yet she always seemed so distant, forever out of reach. After settling into the ancestral home, the girl and I went to pay respects to my father. To my utter shock, I discovered a new grave next to my father's and brother's, inscribed "Tomb of Fang Xiaoyu of the Huo Family!" That very night, the girl who had guarded the gate vanished without a trace. The next morning, I went to Uncle Huai, and only then did I learn that the strange girl was not a relative of his; her name was Fang Xiaoyu! Part Two: Half a Lifetime. [Fate] As the station's grand chime rang seven times again, the world had quietly transformed. I returned from the fleeting glimpses of the past to reality. I was still in my old family home, the winter morning light illuminating every corner, all the dark particles of last night gone. Yet, I would not forget the fact that Xiaoxue was no longer alive, the one who gave me the motivation to live , was gone. In reality, Xiaoxue is no longer alive. My chest feels like it's been stabbed open. My mind is filled with memories of living with Xiaoxue: the funny cobblestone path, the darkness inside the air-raid shelter, the cold wind blowing all night, the sound of the trees swaying, her favorite dragon beard noodles, the gentle moon, the winter morning sunlight, and that unforgettable sweet profile. This year, life and death intertwined, and I wandered alone in painful memories. The memories were so real, yet reality was so illusory. Everything before me seemed unchanged; every day was the same as the day before. I lost the continuity of time, lost my connection with the world. My so-called living had no future, no direction. What I saw, knew, and felt only echoed hollowly, causing a deep pain and soreness in my chest. A year has passed, and I have finally recovered from the fact that Xiaoxue is dead. But the dead are gone, and what about the living? Where is Xiaoyu now? There was a knock on the door. "Second Young Master, it's me." It was Butler Huai. The door opened, and Uncle Huai came in with a basin of hot water to help me wash up. "Uncle Huai, you don't need to serve me anymore. I've been traveling around all these years and I know how to take care of myself. I'm not..."

That spoiled brat from back then. "

Of course, Uncle Huai is just a servant. I'm overjoyed to see you back, Second Young Master!"

"Yes, didn't you say that Miss Fang comes back to pay respects to Eldest Brother and Young Mistress every year around this time
?"

"Yes! Ever since Miss Fang brought Young Mistress's body back for burial four years ago, she's come back every winter to
stay for ten days or so to see her. You met her around this time last year when you came back. But Second Young Master, you
're right, why hasn't Miss Fang appeared this year, even after the anniversary of Young Mistress's death? Is there some kind of obstacle on her journey? Yes
, Second Young Master, the Japanese devils have only been driven out a few years ago, and I've heard that the country is about to have a civil war again. Do you think it might
really start?"

How could I have the time to think about the country's mess? My mind was preoccupied with Xiaoyu, and
I ignored . Seeing me standing there blankly, Uncle Huai understandingly stepped back. "

Xiaoyu, are you avoiding me?"

Suddenly, a shadow blocked the sunlight. I looked up at the window; the curtains were billowing in the breeze.

Xiaoxue stood by the window, gazing at me with a sorrowful expression.

"Xiaoxue, can you tell me where Xiaoyu is?"

Xiaoxue shook her head slightly, then looked towards East Street outside the window, her sorrow unchanged.

A gust of north wind blew by, pulling the curtains up and obscuring Xiaoxue's figure. When they slowly fell back down
, Xiaoxue was gone.

In reality, Xiaoxue was no longer there.

I went to the window and saw a large crowd gathered in the direction of Tiananmen Square on East Street, a bustling scene. My
thoughts stirred, and I quickly washed and changed, then went out to see what was going on.

Thousands of students gathered along Dongda Street,
marching and demonstrating under the banners of "anti-hunger," "anti-persecution," and "anti-Americanism," waving flags, distributing leaflets, and chanting slogans. Military and police remained on high
alert and ready to erupt at any moment.

Having never cared about the country before, I found myself among the crowd, looking around. At that moment
, I didn't even know why I was standing there, or what I was looking for.

Suddenly, my entire body tensed. In the dense crowd, I saw
the figure of a girl with a long braid at the side!

Just then, a gunshot rang out from somewhere, and the thousands of people instantly
erupted into a riot, the situation spiraling out of control. Citizens scattered in all directions, students rushed towards the military and police, and the military and police rushed towards
the students . Many people were shouting, many were crying, some fell, some lay on the ground, and then
two or three shots rang out intermittently. The situation was chaotic.

I rushed to the spot where I had just found the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen amidst the chaotic crowd
.

Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu?

A series of panicked thoughts filled my mind. Suddenly, a military policeman wielding a wooden baton rushed towards me. Seeing that I was wearing a worn-out beige
long gown probably thought I was a teacher from Peking University!

I stood there, stunned, my mind blank. Just as I was about to be struck by a thunderbolt, a small but powerful stone flew
out of nowhere and hit the soldier in the face. He collapsed in pain, clutching his face. Before I
could even react, someone grabbed my right hand and pulled me away.

We burst through the crowd. She pulled me along as we ran, and I was pulled along as we
ran. It felt like we were escaping the shackles of the world, breaking free from worldly constraints. It was as if the world consisted only of the
two of . We were adrift in the wind and dust, wandering to the ends of the earth. I ran and ran after her, a long
braid swaying straight in front of me, brushing against my face. The intoxicating scent of roses was captivating; I recognized
it I had smelled it last year, and I had smelled it twenty years ago.

Finally, we left the crowd and ran to a secluded alley to catch our breath.

As I panted, I made sure I recognized the person who had saved me. The girl before me had a long braid
, eyes like dark ink dots, lips like ripe peaches, and a clear, beautiful face with seven parts carefree spirit and three parts
melancholy, like a forest fairy with two transparent wings from Western mythology, fallen to earth.

She was the girl who had brought me back to my senses and simultaneously made me lose my way again in the Fang family mansion last year.

Her name was: Fang Xiaoyu!

After catching her breath, Xiaoyu gave me an unfriendly look, then said, "I'm leaving!" and
got up to turn and leave.

I held her hand, not letting her leave. Our skin touched again, and the emotions of that night in the ancestral home last year stirred once
more . Those fragments of memory, which often unintentionally knocked on my heart,
replayed in my mind like a film…

“I…I’m sorry! Mr. Fang, I didn’t know you’d come here, Uncle Huai…I heard you haven’t
been back for over ten years, so…” “

It’s alright. Hey! What’s your name?” “

I…my name is…Fang…” “

Fang? Your name is Fang?” “

Yes…just call me Xiao Fang!…Come on! Let me get your luggage for you, sir.”
“No need, I can do it myself.”

………

“Sir, how are you?” “

She’s alright now.” “

Yes, sir, who was that woman in the grave this morning…”

“Her?…She…is my sister-in-law.”

"Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now." "

Yes! I'm really sad! Because… she's the woman I love most in my life!" "

What? Then… but…" "

But she's my sister-in-law! Although it shouldn't be, I just love her! I still love
her like that to this day!" "

Um… sir, can you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?"

…

Sir, do you still think about Xiaoxue? "

Of course I remember her! Even now, she's still in my heart, influencing my life, influencing my destiny.
I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can you expect me not to think about her?" "

But last night…"

…

Xiaoxue couldn't bear the weight of worldly authority and moral judgment to complete her
so-called life's journey. She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day!
What have you ever done for Xiaoxue? "

Last…last night I'm so sorry! It's just…last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was so…like her!"

…

Xiao...Xiao Fang? What are you doing?

I was so drunk and dizzy that I couldn't make a definite judgment.

Xiao Yu was standing in front of me wearing Xiao Xue's pajamas from back then.

I just want you to know that I really liked you back then!

…

"Let go of me! What are you doing?" Xiao Yu forcefully shook off my hand, and the fragments of the big house from last year in my mind
were abruptly cut off.

When my mind returned to the present, after a brief standoff, I spoke first: "Xiao Yu, aren't you going to worship your mother anymore?"

"What did you say? What Xiao Yu? What do you mean you're not going to worship my mother?" The little girl stammered.

"I've seen Uncle Huai. He told me that your name is Fang Xiao Yu, and four years ago, you were the one who brought Xiao Xue back
to be buried ."

Xiao Yu turned her face away from me, her tail swishing back and forth like a pendulum.

"I'm asking you, aren't you going to pay respects to your mother?"

"...I already did, but I've been staying at the inn. I originally planned...to
stay at the main house for a few days after you left before leaving." Her eyes darted around, but she still wouldn't look at me.

Oh well! It's only natural that she felt awkward in front of me, remembering what happened at the main house last year.

"It's very chaotic around here now. It would be troublesome for a girl like you to get caught by the military or police. I'll go with you to check out of the inn and we
'll figure it out back at the main house."

"I'm not going back!" She turned her head away, giving it a defiant flick.

"You didn't go back to the main house to avoid me. Now that you can't avoid me, what are you doing outside?"

Xiaoyu was speechless for a moment and couldn't argue with me, so I half-dragged her back to the main house.

The Fang family mansion, which has been passed down for more than three generations, is located at the very end of Jizhao Hutong in Beiping, far away from
the bustling city center and surrounded by lush greenery. After a snowfall, the entire mansion is enveloped in a strong sense of antiquity
, and it is the most traditional courtyard house structure.

After entering the red-lacquered gate with its lion-head bronze rings, and passing through the corridor between the rear building and the hanging flower gate, you arrive at
the spacious filled with flowers and potted plants. Behind the inner courtyard is the main house, with the east wing to the right and the west wing to the left. In the past, my father and his wives
and concubines all lived in the main house. It was customary for the eldest son to live in the east wing, and the other family members to live in the west wing. However, because
the house was so large, the east wing was divided into front and back rooms for my brother and me, while the west wing was used as a guest room for
entertaining guests. The east wing itself was already quite magnificent. At the end of the corridors of the side rooms on both sides, there were ponds, gardens, and small
pavilions, with jujube trees and grapevines planted all year round. The corridor area exuded endless interest.
On the morning , I sat there alone, silently shedding tears.

Twenty years later, Xiaoyu and I sat in the same spot where Xiaoxue had sat. I was telling Xiaoyu about the first time I saw Xiaoxue cry
that night , while Xiaoyu silently threw pebbles into the pond, causing the carp
to scatter in all directions.

I asked her, "Xiaoyu, how have you and your daughter been all these years?"

She told me that ever since I went to Shenyang to find Xiaoxue and was taken away, Xiaoxue's shameful deeds in her husband's family could no longer
be hidden . Whether voluntary or forced, a woman who has lost her virginity is considered wicked. Gossip is a powerful force, and the Huo family
endured constant scorn and harsh judgment from all sides. Even Xiaoxue, heavily pregnant, was attacked when she went out. The Huo family
was utterly ashamed and had no choice but to move to Liaoning. There, Old Master Huo sought refuge with a sworn
brother . No one there knew the Huo family, no one would find them, and even if someone knew about Xiaoxue, they couldn't afford
to offend them.

At this moment, I recalled Xiaoxue's sorrowful words on the banks of Beidaihe: "Yusheng, you will never understand
the sorrow of being a daughter!" A deep sadness welled up in my heart.

The discriminatory glances and sarcastic remarks from everyone around her were the invisible harm accumulated over time. Because of herself, she ruined
her whole family, and Xiaoxue could never forgive herself. She was depressed all day long, and after giving birth to Xiaoyu, she
was plagued . When Xiaoyu was ten years old, Xiaoxue, who had no will to live,
left this world with a knot in her heart that would never be untied. Later, as the Japanese army was defeated and retreated, many areas and transportation were opened up. Xiaoxue
's younger brother, who loved her and her daughter the most, took Xiaoyu, who was only fourteen years old, to send Xiaoxue back to the north for a peaceful burial, fulfilling Xiaoxue
's wish to "be born a member of the Fang family and die a ghost of the Fang family."

When I regained a little composure, I found myself silently shedding tears under the stars of a winter night, while
Xiaoyu with her head resting on my shoulder, was also crying uncontrollably. Before I knew it, it was evening. I cried silently, tears welling up in
my eyes only to flow again immediately. The once peaceful house, the ancient trees, the pavilions, even my
own feet suddenly felt burning hot in the cold wind, and I almost couldn't breathe. I was heartbroken.

"Why weren't you with us then?" Xiaoyu said softly, her tone so much like her mother's.

I was speechless.

"Where's your uncle? Why have you been the only one coming back these past two years?" I asked again after a moment, putting my hand on
Xiaoyu's shoulder. She didn't stop me.

"He's dead. He was killed two years ago when the Japanese army retreated, because of me." Xiaoyu's voice was cold and
lifeless .

"In the past two years, you're the only young girl who's returned to her hometown alone. What's wrong with the Huo family?!"

Xiaoyu didn't reply; her silence was the answer. It was so obvious that,
apart , the entire Huo family didn't treat this ill-fated mother and daughter well.

"Stay, okay? Don't go back to the Northeast." I gently stroked her hair.

"No, I have to catch the train back tomorrow morning. I was planning to go to the station to buy a ticket this morning." Xiaoyu kept
fiddling with her braids.

"Why are you rushing back?"

"To get married."

"Get married?! You're only eighteen. Why are you rushing to get married?" I was very surprised and turned to look at
Xiaoyu.

She suddenly stood up, her large, dark eyes glaring at me in astonishment: "Why!? You're
asking me why!? You really don't understand why I'm in such a hurry to get married!?" With that, she ran away.

Back at the door of the room where my elder brother, Xiaoxue, had lived, Xiaoxue, without turning her head, coldly said, "You wouldn't understand the sorrow of
being a daughter!" Then she closed the door.

Suddenly, it dawned on me—I was such a reckless fool. Of course, Xiaoyu's eagerness to find her
master was because of me!

A year ago, in winter, Xiaoyu and I met in this large house. I thought she was just an ordinary servant.
When we went together to pay respects to our father and brother, I was shocked to find Xiaoxue's grave nearby. In my deep sorrow, I
told Xiaoyu about my past with Xiaoxue, confessing my feelings for her over the past twenty years.

That night, the wind and snow howled incessantly outside. The wind lashed against the paper windows, creating a muffled, oppressive sound, as if it were about to tear them apart
. We were both drunk when Xiaoyu suddenly changed into her mother's clothes from twenty years ago and came to me.
Gazing at me tenderly, she said, "I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!"

In my drunken stupor, I mistook Xiaoyu for Xiaoxue and pulled her into bed! A night of madness
ensued, and the next morning Xiaoyu vanished without a word.

I searched everywhere for her that year, never imagining she would be in the most turbulent northeast. I couldn't find her.
The only thing I learned from Uncle Huai was that for the past four winters, Xiaoyu had always returned to pay respects to her mother. Therefore, this
winter, I stayed at the ancestral home, waiting for her to return.

It was late at night, and all around was deathly quiet, utterly silent, not even the sound of the wind could be heard. I lay in my bed in
my room, staring blankly into the void. The silence of the night intensified the inexplicable sorrow. I
looked up at the night sky through the skylight, and among the constellations of the clear winter night, I couldn't find my way in the darkness.

In the vast night, when everyone else was asleep, I was all alone, unable to sleep at all, my heart in turmoil.
Today, I met Xiaoyu again, but tomorrow, when the light rises above the horizon, I will
lose Xiaoyu again. I know very well that after tomorrow's parting, we will never see each other again in this life. I will lose Xiaoyu forever
, and my last connection with Xiaoxue will be severed forever. I

tossed and turned, lost in thought, when suddenly the door creaked open, letting in a soft, hazy moonlight.
Looking out from the dim room, the bright moonlight illuminated a graceful fairy
figure The fairy stood woodenly in the doorway, looking at me, her long, loose hair cascading over her shoulders.

I recognized her immediately—it was Xiaoyu. But Xiaoxue had been appearing in my dreams and in my sleep, giving
me a sense of unreality. I couldn't be sure of anything. The woman before me made my heart pound.

She entered and sat down on the bed, then without a word, snuggled into the covers and lay down
beside .

"I'm cold! I don't want to sleep alone!" she said, her back to me.

It was indeed Xiaoyu.

I never expected Xiaoyu to be so affectionate with me. In the starlight of the night, I felt
a strong sense of happiness at her sudden affection—a slightly guilty yet incredibly sweet happiness. I thought that as long as the sun
doesn't , she will always be by my side, comforting me.

Like everyone else, I once had family, but as time passed, they
left my world one by one, leaving me all alone. Looking back, everything seems so real, like
a mirage . Why am I the only one still alive? In this big house where I grew up, I
've clearly spent many years here, so why am I all alone in the end?

But I wasn't! Today I realized I'm not alone after all! Ahead of me was a light rain, and
behind the light rain was me. Tonight, I no longer felt lonely. This place, perhaps, was the haven I had always dreamed of—a place where I could
forget today and stop thinking about the future.
"Xiaoyu, who are your husband's family?" I asked her tentatively.

"Not really," she said coldly.

"How can you not know?! What's wrong with you?" I even adopted a stern fatherly tone.

"Since my mother's death, my father-in-law and mother-in-law have been looking for matchmakers to introduce me to me for marriage, as if they wanted to send me
away as soon as possible, but they never forced me. Just last year... after I went back, I was very panicked.
I just wanted to find a host who wanted me as soon as possible. I didn't know who was proposing me, so I agreed immediately. I didn't expect that the marriage
actually took a year. Fortunately, in the end... my belly... didn't... grow bigger, otherwise... I'm afraid I wouldn't even
be a human being."

Hey! Sure enough it's because of me!

"Is it really impossible not to go back?"

"Mother has already caused my in-laws so much suffering, how can I bear to hurt them again?"

"But are you willing to accept this?"

"Whether I am or not, this is the fate of a daughter."

Her tone didn't sound like that of an eighteen-year-old girl, but rather like that of a seasoned, white-haired palace maid. Her words
left a lingering sense of sorrow, slowly seeping into my heart. The sorrowful footprints that Xiaoxue had left behind are now
being trodden step by step by Xiaoyu.

The intermittent whispers of Xiaoyu that reached my ears left me feeling utterly lost. Heartfelt conversations at night always
carry a sense of loneliness, and understanding the truth often brings sorrow. Like a guilty child, I
listened listlessly, caught between self-reproach and unease.

Then, Xiaoyu slowly turned to face me. We were face to face, our noses almost touching. I smelled
her sweet breath and saw the starlight in her eyes.

This scene felt familiar. Twenty years ago, Xiaoxue and I were in an air-raid shelter…

Xiaoyu looked into my eyes and gently stroked my face.

"Before Mother passed away, she kept talking about your past with her. She told me that my Father was an absolute
villain!"

Although I had long accepted that Xiaoyu was my daughter, I still couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she was my brother's child.
Until this moment, when Xiaoyu said it herself, I couldn't help but feel a strong surge of emotion.

The person sleeping next to me was my own daughter! My own
daughter with whom I had been intimate a year ago!

"She told me a lot about you. She said that you bullied her in the air-raid shelter, often staring blankly at her
body, and she also knew that you often spied on her after she took a bath!"

Being told all the shameful things I had done in my youth by my own daughter, I blushed and didn't know what to say.

"Mother also told me that my father has delicate features and a melancholy expression that makes him lovable. He's the kind of child who can do all sorts of bad things without
making angry. So... so it's true! My father is over forty years old this year, but he still has a
handsome face. He looks like a down-on-his-luck thirty-year-old, but his personality is like that of a sentimental, melancholic twenty-year-old..."

Xiaoyu's slender little hand stroked my face, checked my ears, and then traced
the shape An elusive emotion enveloped my whole body, and I felt a surge of excitement, as if I had been electrocuted.

"My father and mother's story is tragic, yet romantic. Everyone has their own idealized love story,
and my father and mother's story is Xiaoyu's childhood fantasy and hope.
How wonderful it would be to love passionately and unconditionally at least once in a lifetime! Since I was little, I've wanted to see if my father, as my mother said, is the kind of man who can bewitch his daughters."
"You wicked devil! Love stories are real after all! If I were your mother, I..." Xiaoyu's pupils shone with
an unusual light, her small mouth exhaling a seductive breath that brushed against my face. I remembered
what happened on this bed last winter, and my heart trembled.

"Xiaoyu, I am your father. And you, you're about to become someone else's wife." My mind was in turmoil.

"I know! I'll never have another chance for love stories in my life, and my father and I are
destined for hell! It's because I'm about to leave you, Father, that I'll be your Xiaoxue one more time, okay? Just
this once! There won't be a next time!"

Indeed, my father and I could never be reborn as humans. Worldly affairs were no longer relevant to us!
Before my thoughts could even settle, Xiaoyu's lips were already firmly pressed against mine.

A year ago, on that night, I didn't know Xiaoyu's true identity, but now,
lying in bed with my eighteen-year-old biological daughter, our lips met in a passionate kiss, it was a feeling I'd never experienced before. My heart
trembled , every cell in my body roared with intense emotion—not pain, but jubilation!

Go to hell! Break the rules! Never be reincarnated! Who says a sister-in-law and brother-in-law can't love each other? Who
says a father and daughter can't share shoes? It's the so-called worldly ethics and moral shackles that have plunged Xiaoyu and me
into an abyss. Xiaoxue's life is ruined, and so is the first half of my life. Twenty years ago, I was so
resolute , but today, all that's left is a precarious life and a tiny bit of time. What am I still
struggling for? Whether it's Xiaoyu, Xiaoxue, my daughter, or my sister-in-law, we
're an incestuous affair, so what? Can fate control me?

With my mind made up, I turned around and kissed Xiaoyu, my tongue slowly parting her teeth and invading her mouth. Xiaoyu
was startled at first, then slowly closed her eyes, relaxed her body, and enjoyed her father's French kiss.

As I licked my daughter's delicate tongue, my hands roamed freely, exploring her breasts. Xiaoyu's breasts weren't
large, but lying down like little plump bellies, they still stood high and firm, full and firm, brimming with the unique
texture of a developing young girl.

With her clothes undone, I kissed Xiaoyu's small mouth, leaving no part of her neck, collarbone, or shoulders untouched.
Then, calmly and slowly, I admired the alluring lines of my daughter's half-naked upper body. Seeing Xiaoyu shyly close her eyes
and turn her face away, I lowered my head and gently tasted her already erect nipples, my tongue lingering around the cherry-like tips. Xiaoyu's
brows furrowed, as if in pain, yet also as if in ecstasy.

I kissed from her nipple to the base of her breast, then sought her armpit, deeply inhaling her rose-like, girlish fragrance. I gently licked and nibbled at her
sparse, grass-like armpit hair. Whether it was from ticklishness or shyness, Xiaoyu dodged left and right, preventing me from licking her. I could only
bury my face in her small breasts for comfort. Xiaoyu held my head tenderly, and we
rubbed our ears , our love tender and affectionate, our bodies entwined.

In the midst of our tenderness, I reached between Xiaoyu's legs. The girl's most private parts were being
caressed by a man's dirty hand. She instinctively clenched her legs, then slowly relaxed, fully revealing the restlessness and
unease .

I pressed down on Xiaoyu's slightly protruding mound with one hand, then squeezed it hard. Xiaoyu immediately shuddered
, curling up like a shrimp. I pulled down her trousers and inserted my middle finger into her tender crevice,
gently probing with each stroke. With each stroke, Xiaoyu trembled.

After a while, I pulled out my middle finger, which was covered in clumps of thin, sticky liquid. I put my finger in
my mouth ; it was the unique taste of my own daughter's sweet nectar, and I wanted to savor it.

Xiaoyu pulled my hand away: "No! It's dirty!"

"Xiaoyu's isn't dirty, it's fragrant and sweet, I want to eat it all up!" I spread Xiaoyu's legs,
which were already overflowing with moisture. I lowered my head and sucked and licked with all my might. Xiaoyu's whole body stiffened as I ate her
, her hands flailing wildly in confusion, moaning incoherently.

The wetter she became, the more I sucked, and the wetter she became, her private parts were already a vast ocean. At this point, Xiaoyu was a little out of her mind, her waist
and legs spasming and twitching, her eyes half-closed, only able to moan "No...no..."

I lifted Xiaoyu's dazed legs onto my shoulders, positioned my rock-hard member, and slowly succumbed to the
already overflowing honey-like fluids of my dream. My own flesh and blood were finally united, my organs intertwined, enveloped in
my daughter's warm, soft, slippery flesh. The transcendent, soul-stirring sensation was like ascending
to paradise , incomparable to any ordinary woman without blood ties.

Xiaoyu, jolted awake by my thrust, opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Does it hurt?" I asked tenderly.

"No," Xiaoyu smiled and shook her head, "but last year it hurt for two days!" She then giggled playfully
and shyly, before hugging me tightly.

Our tongues intertwined again. I held Xiaoyu close, my lower body slowly rubbing against hers, then
steadily thrusting in and out. Xiaoyu's waist swayed back and forth, trembling, responding to my thrusts.

The movements became faster and faster, Xiaoyu's juices splattering from deep within. Her face flushed red, her expression twitching as if she were both crying and laughing
, her breathing becoming increasingly rapid. I could have maintained this for a little longer, but I didn't want to suppress my primal
desires. I lowered Xiaoyu's legs, allowing our bodies to press completely together in an embrace. I held Xiaoyu tightly,
thrusting with all my might. Xiaoyu pressed her face against my shoulder, her fingers digging deep into my back muscles.

"Call me Dad!"

"Dad!"

"Call me again!"

"Dad...Dad!"

Seeing Xiaoyu's sad expression as she kept calling out "Dad," I realized that I was
defiling my own daughter! That feeling of defying heaven and humanity excited me beyond measure.

"Dad...Dad...Hehe...Dad...Dad...Hehe..."

Reaching the peak, I merged with Xiaoyu in spirit and body, inseparable, and
planted the seed of incest deep within her heart.

Although it wasn't our first time together, this was the first time I, as Xiaoyu's father, had completely possessed and owned
my own daughter, planting the seed of incest within my own flesh and blood. What father and daughter in the world could be as intimate as
we were ? I am absolutely certain that it's not because I love Xiaoxue, but because I truly love Xiaoyu. She is
Pandora's box filled with all the memories and secrets of Xiaoxue and me, the most precious
treasure . I so sincerely want to have her, to possess her, this one who has half of my body and half of Xiaoxue's.
My precious daughter, Xiaoyu, I need nothing more than that.

I lay panting on top of her, not wanting to leave, but undeniably, I was getting on in years. After
ejaculating my penis involuntarily softened and withdrew from her. Still burning with desire, I had a sudden inspiration. I climbed up,
straddled Xiaoyu's head, and placed my limp penis in her mouth.

Xiaoyu stared in astonishment, looking at my face then at my penis, unsure what to do. She was, after all, just
a naive, traditional woman from a respectable family; how could she know the pleasures of love between men and women?

"Xiaoyu, be good, put it in your mouth. Don't be afraid, every woman serves a man like this." I
was actually lying to my own daughter! How many respectable women would do such a thing? In fact,
even within the Eight Great Alleys, not all prostitutes were willing to do this. Only lower-ranking prostitutes wearing suggestive rings
would offer such lewd services.

Xiaoyu believed me, and her female instinct for obedience led her, half-frightened, to slowly take that ugly
thing into her mouth. Instantly, a hot, wet, tingling sensation spread through my penis, giving me unparalleled pleasure. At that
moment, my own daughter was tasting the very thing that gave birth to her, inhaling the
faint fishy smell emanating from her father's scrotum, stimulating her father's lust with her tongue—both vulgar and shameless, yet intoxicatingly pleasurable.

I thrust in and out of Xiaoyu's mouth, instructing her on how to lick it. Xiaoyu initially complied
shyly and clumsily, but gradually, driven by primal female desire, she began to actively and rhythmically suck and tease.
Stimulated by my daughter's most lewd techniques, my manhood quickly became erect again. I signaled Xiaoyu
to stop and turn over to lie face down. I entered her from behind and began to make love to my daughter once more.

I thrust and pounded from behind, my hands also busy reaching for Xiaoyu's swaying, beautiful breasts, and I lowered my head
to kiss her smooth, jade-like back. The incestuous act with her father, performed in an animalistic position, filled Xiaoyu with unbearable shame. She
buried her face in the blankets, enduring my thrusts. I wanted to thoroughly humiliate and discipline her. I grabbed her long, flowing
hair , pulling her face up, her open mouth emitting moans of "Oh...oh..."

I then grabbed her arms, lifting her entire upper body off the covers. Kneeling on the bed, she
and I shared only one point of contact, utterly powerless to resist my relentless assaults. Cries
of "Oh...oh...oh...oh...oh..." rose and fell.

With a final, powerful thrust, I released her, and Xiaoyu flew to the corner of the bed like a rag doll, her buttocks facing the sky,
the nectar accumulated within her gushing forth from her vagina. Such a wondrous sight! I couldn't help but lower my head to inhale the
willow nectar. Xiaoyu, limp and powerless, could only utter two sharp sounds, letting me indulge
in the sensation of being freely inhaled by my father.

After laying Xiaoyu down on the bed like a doll, we resumed our usual face-to-face position for intercourse. At this moment
, Xiaoyu's skin was flushed and rosy, displaying a blissful ecstasy. The intoxicating fragrance emanating from her body was even
stronger, making her both beautiful and pitiful. I embraced her and kissed her passionately, then pulled her arms apart and began licking her areolas and armpits from left to right and then
from right to left. Xiaoyu opened her arms, generously allowing me to suckle her. At this moment, her
mouth was half-open, and her eyes looked incredibly alluring, displaying her pleasure and desire without any shame.

I moved my hips, rubbing and thrusting, swaying and rotating, constantly changing the direction and intensity of our intercourse, exploring
the most sensitive and moving places deep within Xiaoyu's heart. Suddenly, Xiaoyu let out a gasp. I pinpointed the point of
attack and struck with all my might. Xiaoyu's face contorted, and she gripped my arm tightly, tears of pleasure streaming down her face. I
drew concentrating my power and force on that one spot. With a final, all-out strike, I felt
the strongest spasms and contractions emanating from the depths of Xiaoyu's dream. The nectar gushing from her climax sprayed continuously from the crevices.
My manhood, deep within the dream, felt a violent impact like an earthquake or tsunami. Infected by this, I also reached my peak, ejaculating my sacred, incestuous seed with the most
exhilarating feeling.

Outside, frost and snow fell all night, while Xiaoyu and I entwined inside. Afterwards, we cuddled and played together.
After resting, she would use her mouth to revive me, and we would be joined together again. Throughout the night, I used
every position I had ever learned to make love with Xiaoyu. By the third time, she no longer needed to ask me to
revive her with her mouth. I said I was tired, and she even took the initiative to sit on top of me, swaying and twisting like a thirsty woman. In just one
night, I had trained my own daughter into a little prostitute. Time passed slowly. My back ached, my penis hurt
, and I even missed my climax, but I still couldn't stop. Father and daughter were intertwined in spirit until dawn. We were
both oblivious to the fact that we were stealing, and we were also oblivious to the fact that we were escaping.

The grand clock at the South City Station had already struck six. Bright sunlight
streamed . Soon, after the clock struck seven, the butler, Uncle Huai, would knock on the door with warm water for washing
. At that moment, I sat exhausted and weary on the edge of the bed. Xiao Yu, her naked body bathed in the morning light, was still
sucking on my genitals. I told her to stop, but she ignored me and continued sucking desperately.

"Okay, okay. Uncle Huai will be here soon," I said weakly.

Xiao Yu still ignored me and continued sucking. I felt warm drops of water dripping onto my lower abdomen,
more and more, until they even dripped down my genitals. I was speechless, my heart breaking.

After the last two drops of fluid were extracted from her seminal vesicles, Xiaoyu didn't even vomit. She returned to her room just before Uncle
Huai knocked on the door. We changed our clothes and left the room
as if nothing had happened, ate breakfast as if nothing had happened, and then headed out into the biting cold wind of a winter morning in Beiping, heading to the North City
Station .

A light, misty snow continued to fall on the streets. Looking ahead, the horizon was obscured by a hazy white fog where the sky met the ground
. The rickshaw arrived at the North Station. The station,
shrouded Perhaps because it was still early, the station was deserted; only
porters and rickshaw drivers in yellow uniforms were idle, and a few stalls were selling steaming hot snacks and breakfasts. I bought
a first-class ticket to Liaoning at the ticket office; the train would depart in half an hour.

Xiaoyu and I sat silently on a bench on the platform, surrounded by a white morning mist. The scenery was
so hazy, as if we were separated from the world by the fog, abandoned on its edge. Unfortunately, these two
lost souls, on this small path of life, will never be able to converge on the same line,
and when the morning mist dissipates, the two of us will be separated forever.

"Shall I go buy you something hot to eat on the train?" I asked, glancing at Xiaoyu beside me.

"Don't you dare run away!"

Xiaoyu was already sobbing.

Soon, the train arrived. We remained seated on the bench, motionless. Xiaoyu rested her head on my shoulder, her left hand
's fingers entwined between my right. We both had so much to say to each other, yet
we didn't know where to begin, or how much we could express.

Of all those words, the one I couldn't tell Xiaoyu was my promise and vow as her man
.

New black smoke rose from the train's chimney, and the engine room began adding fuel to prepare for the new journey. Hearing the train's whistle signaling its imminent
departure , Xiaoyu gripped my hand even tighter.

This is the end of our journey, and Xiaoyu and I will be forever separated. Time is running out.
I half-pushed, half-helped Xiaoyu onto the train. As soon as she boarded, she found a window seat, half her body
peering through the window, weeping as she gazed at me.

That one glance became our final farewell; any further lingering would only add to the sorrow. I suppressed
the agonizing pain in my heart and turned away without looking back. I thought of Xiaoyu still weeping as she watched my retreating figure,
and a pang of heartache shot through me.

The train slowly pulled away.

Xiaoyu, farewell.

Xiaoxue, farewell.

My heart ached so much that I couldn't help but cover my face with my hands, close my eyes, and sob.

As I closed my eyes, Xiaoxue appeared before me again.

Xiaoxue sat coldly to the side on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, her face full of sorrow and bitterness.

She stared blankly at the raindrops outside the pavilion. Suddenly, she stretched her hands out over the eaves,
catching the raindrops. Then she turned to me with pleading eyes, extending her rain-soaked hands
towards me…

“Xiaoyu!” I snapped my eyes open and turned around angrily.

My shout drowned out the surrounding noise. The men and women coming and going from all directions were startled, staring at me in
silence , including Xiaoyu, whose eyes never left me.

The train had slowly started to move. I took off running, catching up to Xiaoyu, who was still leaning out the window, and ran
alongside .

"Xiaoyu, I'm telling you, you're my woman! I won't allow you to marry any other man! You
'll always belong to me!" I shouted at Xiaoyu.

On the train, Xiaoyu covered her face and shook her head repeatedly, her emotions running high as she said, "No, no, it
's impossible..."

"I don't care! I'm telling you, I, Fang Yusheng, am a genuine villain! No matter
where you marry, I will come find you, I will find you, destroy your marriage, and take you away! I, Fang Yusheng, mean
what I say!"

The train was about to leave the platform, and I was extremely anxious. I continued to shout out my innermost thoughts: "Xiaoyu, you
have no choice! No one else's happiness is more important than your own! You will have your own
love story!" "And you and I were destined for hell long ago, so what's there to worry about?
Why do you care about others? Don't care what others think of you; how others look at you has nothing to do with you! Back then, Xiaoxue
had the right to choose but resigned herself to her fate and gave up. What she couldn't do, you will do today! Come! Xiaoyu! Come back to my side!
Come with me!"

Hearing my confession, Xiaoyu, her eyelashes fluttering like raindrops, covered her face and nodded repeatedly. Although she didn't show it,
she was filled with joy. She was going all in! She grabbed her small leather bag and ran to the back of the carriage,
to the exit . But the train kept accelerating, and Xiaoyu stood at the exit, hesitant and afraid.

With just over ten feet to go before reaching the edge of the platform, I opened my arms to welcome Xiaoyu: "Xiaoyu, don't think about anything!
Look at me! Jump!"

Xiaoyu leaped out of the carriage and pounced into my arms. We fell to the ground, rolling and rolling
, doing more than ten tumbles before finally stopping at the edge of the platform.

I lay on the edge of the platform holding Xiaoyu, while she lay on top of me, holding me back. The surrounding scenery spun around us
, the world suddenly seemed so vast, the whole world revolving around us,
boundless and limitless .

Before we could even calm down, and ignoring our injuries, Xiaoyu and I kissed passionately on the platform.

A commotion erupted around the platform. Some gasped, others berated us for our indecent behavior, a few
applauded, but most stared in disbelief.

I wonder what they would think if they knew we were father and daughter?

The onlookers were chattering incessantly, making it unbearable. Xiaoyu and I stopped kissing and stood up. I grabbed
Xiaoyu and ran. The crowd we pushed through continued to shout insults:

"The world is going to the dogs! What kind of despicable couple are they?", "Kissing in broad daylight in the street, they're like mothers who have no fathers
!", "An old man and a young girl, what kind of relationship do they have?"

A barrage of vile insults rose and fell, but amidst the curses, I heard someone
offer a blessing:

"You've got guts! Keep it up!"

As we moved away from the crowd, one last sentence drifted into our ears from behind:

"They're a perfect match!"

I turned around and smiled at Xiaoyu. I pulled Xiaoyu along, running
ahead , just like when we met at the student demonstration yesterday. It felt so sweet. The whole view
was so clear, the world so vast, seemingly infinitely far away, yet within reach. We
were like a pair of wanted thieves, a male and female, I carried her away through the wilderness, adrift in the wind, escaping this
absurd world, running to the ends of the earth, to spend the rest of our lives together.
[The End] After Xiaoyu
gave up returning to Liaoning, I wrote a letter to the Huo family explaining the situation and apologizing. I stated that Xiaoyu would go
back to her biological father, and that Xiaoyu and I would wander the world to avoid being found by the Huo family.

Not long after, the national regime changed, and large numbers of refugees fled to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, and other Southeast Asian countries in the south
. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I took Xiaoyu to Hong Kong, the place where I had studied in my youth.
Xiaoyu and I became Hong Kong citizens as refugees. Xiaoyu, who had casually registered her citizenship, had no legal
connection to me. We officially registered our marriage in Hong Kong, becoming a legal couple. I never dreamed that Xiaoyu and I,
father and daughter, could legally register as husband and wife, settling down in Hong Kong where no one knew us. This was the first time in my life that I had...
My wandering life came to an official end at this point.

The following year, Xiaoyu became pregnant. The night before her delivery, I saw Xiaoxue in my dream. She
appeared in my dream for the first time in bright sunlight, smiling happily at me. The next day, Xiaoyu gave birth to a daughter,
whom I named Fang Xiaoxue.

This was the last time I saw Xiaoxue. From then on, Xiaoxue never appeared in my dreams again.
[A Lifetime of Love. The End.]

[Appendix]

Snow. Still. Drifting.

On the train back to Beijing, I remained silent, silently perplexed by the purpose of this journey.

I hadn't originally planned to return to my ancestral home in Beiping. After finishing business in Tianjin, for some reason,
instead of heading back to Guangzhou, I transferred to Beiping, a place I hadn't visited in over ten years. Why I did this, I couldn't even figure
it out myself.

However, when I got off at the East Station and saw the long corridor lined with locust trees and old wisteria,
a feeling of "home" suddenly welled up inside me. Even though there were only ten days left until the winter solstice, with frost and snow already falling and the cold biting to the bone,
this scene still brought a touch of warmth to my swollen clothes.

But what did that feeling of "home" really mean to me? Since my father passed away, our family had
been all alone! Now middle-aged, I have no parents, no siblings, no family, no wife or
children. I wander aimlessly across the country. "Home" and "ancestral home" are
utterly irrelevant to me.

"Blood ties"? Thinking of this, I feel a pang of shame. When my father passed away, I, the unfilial son
, was away and unable to attend. My uncle from the south city rushed over to handle the funeral arrangements.
I felt no remorse whatsoever for not being able to fulfill my filial duties due to work. So, to say that my family values family ties is inaccurate. Rather than insisting
on calling a sentiment for home, it's more accurate to say it's a longing for Xiaoxue. Apart from her, I have
no attachment to Beiping whatsoever.

"Yusheng, why are you back so late? The master is furious! Come quickly, change your clothes and come into the inner courtyard for dinner!"

For many years I hadn't thought of Xiaoxue, but now, suddenly turning around, the warm
gaze flashed through my mind once more. Her every smile, her innocent eyes, her purity, her straightforwardness
—all these unexpectedly filled my mind again. Finally, the thought of where she was now brought a pang of heartache.

My thoughts began to swirl. Just then, the rickshaw arrived at Jizhao Hutong. Seeing the gate of my old family home, I vaguely saw the figure of
a . Time seemed to flow backward; Xiaoxue was standing at the gate of my ancestral home, waiting for me to return!

I thought I was starting to lose my mind, but as the scenery gradually became clearer, the faint figure remained. It wasn't
a hallucination, nor a memory. My heart started pounding, and my whole body tensed up. Xiaoxue, could it really be
you?

Reaching the gate, my tense emotions calmed down a bit, but a sense of loss followed. The woman before me wasn't welcoming me
home; she was just sweeping snow at the gatehouse. She was no more than twenty years old, pretty and charming, completely
different .

"Who are you? Do you know this is the Fang family mansion?" Before I could even ask who she was,
she spoke harshly to me.

"Then...who are you? I don't know you. And...where is Butler Huai?" Faced with
the girl's rudeness, I stammered, unable to answer.

"Oh! You know Uncle Huai? You are...?"

"I am Fang Yusheng, Fang Yusheng of the Fang family!" Returning to my ancestral home felt like being interrogated, and I couldn't help but feel angry
.

Upon hearing my name, the girl was momentarily speechless, like a dazed fool. However,
a subtle change appeared in her eyes, a change that flashed by in an instant, the meaning of which I could not comprehend.

Seeing her lower her head and remain silent, I asked her again, "What is your relationship to Uncle Huai? Where is Uncle Huai?"

"I...I...I'm Uncle Huai's...distant relative. He went back to his hometown for some business, so I'm temporarily managing this place for him."
The girl blushed and lowered her head, her eyes flickering uncertainly. It turned out she was a silly girl! Only then did I take a good look at her.
The girl in front of me had a braided ponytail, her eyes were like dots of dark ink, her lips were like ripe peaches,
and her features were beautiful but with a hint of melancholy. Her carefree appearance was like a
forest elf with two transparent wings from Western mythology, fallen to earth. This feeling seemed familiar, but I didn't know where I had seen her before. She had fair skin and
a lovable ; she seemed more like a city girl.

"I...I'm sorry! Mr. Fang, I didn't know you'd come here. Uncle Huai...I heard you haven't
been back for over ten years, so..."

"It's alright. Hey! What's your name?"

"I...my name is...Fang..." The girl was surprisingly shy.

"Fang? Your name is Fang?"

"Yes...just call me Xiao Fang!...Come on! Let me help you with your luggage, sir."

"No need, I can do it myself."

It was already dark when I returned to my hometown. I settled into my room, feeling utterly exhausted, and
fell asleep .

"Sir?" Xiao Fang's voice came from outside the room.

"Xiao Fang? What is it?"

"It's late. I've prepared hot water. Sir, you can go take a bath now."

"Oh? I don't want to bathe right now. You don't need to serve me. Just wash up and rest!"

"Then... then I won't disturb you any longer."

After Xiao Fang left, I suddenly felt wide awake. I lay on the bed I hadn't slept on for over ten years,
staring blankly at the late winter night sky outside the window. The bright moon was exactly the same as it had been years ago, but everything had changed. I was now
over forty , no longer the young man

I once was... "Yu Sheng, we're about the same age. Don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiao Xue. We're all young people now..."

Xiao Xue, I was twenty-seven when I left here, and you were thirty. Soon after, you returned to your maternal family home. Now
we're forty-five! If you really came back, would you still recognize me?

Thinking about it made it even harder to fall asleep, so I got up listlessly and went for a walk in the outer courtyard. When I reached the pavilion, the two jujube trees
were still there. Whether they were the same ones from years ago was unknown, but together with the grape trellis next door, they still
looked charming. I reminisced about the past, thinking about the various furnishings of my home, and leisurely lifted the curtain to enter the inner courtyard.
As I walked through the corridor, I heard the sound of water being poured from the neighboring room. I couldn't help but peek through the crack in the door, and there, a graceful, naked body,
was bathing. I was stunned. It was Xiao Fang!

She looked to be about fifteen or sixteen years old. When I met her at the gate this morning, her clever yet melancholic appearance...
She had already instilled in me a strange fondness. Seeing her snow-white, naked body now only intensified my
attraction . Her fair, delicate skin accentuated her small, perky breasts, her long, slender waist, and
the alluring curve of her hips between her beautiful legs—a truly beautiful virgin's body. Peeping at a young girl bathing is immoral, but this was
n't my first time. I suddenly remembered that twenty years ago, this was my only source of amusement.

Because my mother died early, Xiaoxue was the only woman in our family. Due to the traditional preference for sons
, Xiaoxue always served us all first, only bathing at night. Every night, in the quiet of the night
, I couldn't resist the temptation of the gurgling water and would quietly sneak into the bathroom's courtyard to peep at Xiaoxue! Each time afterward, I
told myself it was the last time, yet the second night I couldn't resist Xiaoxue's alluring body. Those
full breasts, that patch of grass in her hidden, mysterious cave—it represented all my
desires .

Even normally, my gaze was constantly fixed on Xiaoxue's figure, let alone when she was naked
. Even though she was my sister-in-law.

"Yusheng, please don't stare at me like that all the time! People will misunderstand!"

Misunderstand? I don't care about misunderstandings! And you knew from the start that it wasn't a misunderstanding! You
must , because to me, your words were an implication! I knew that doing this would hurt you, and if
fate allowed me to choose again, I believe the outcome would still be the same! Who cares if the ending is eternal damnation!

My thoughts lingered between the temptations of the past and the present. Suddenly, the woman in front of me turned her back and bent over.
Water droplets slid down her body, tracing the beautiful contours of her breasts and outlining their alluring lines. The droplets gathered at the tips of her nipples and then fell one by one. The sound of the water droplets hitting the ground resonated powerfully
within me . What stunned me even more was that her raised, virgin vulva was directly facing me. The paradise I'd always dreamed of The damp, soft grass parted gently on either side, clinging tightly to her vulva, the clear opening slightly ajar, revealing that bright red, glistening peach. This rekindled the desire I'd harbored for Xiaoxue for over a decade. I couldn't distinguish whether it was Xiaofang or Xiaoxue before me; I felt my blood rushing, my heart pounding fiercely. As I uncontrollably took a step forward, she seemed to sense something! "What? Who's there?" Xiaoxue asked, turning around. "What? Who's there?" Xiaofang asked, turning around. I snapped out of my daze, rushed back to my room, and wrapped myself tightly in the thick quilt, my heart pounding for a long time . "Xiaoxue, this is the last time!" When I woke up the next morning, Xiaofang seemed normal, and I, of course, acted as if nothing had happened, not mentioning my blunder the previous night. With my worries at ease, I went to my father's and brother's graves early in the morning to pay my respects, and Xiaofang came along . She said that the heavy work like weeding should be done by her. Arriving at Guangyi Garden in Miaoguang Pavilion, I burned the paper money and clothes I had bought from the paper shop for my father and brother. Father! I'm sorry! Your son is unfilial! All these years, I haven't even lit a single stick of incense at your grave. I haven't preserved the family business, nor have I had any descendants to carry on the Fang family line. But I really can't stay here. I can't face everything I've been here before. I have no choice, Father, please forgive me. As I pondered, a wave of sorrow washed over me, and my nose began to whimper. I looked up at the sky, took a deep breath , stretched casually, and gazed around. Suddenly, my eyes widened, my pupils dilated, and my blood seemed to freeze instantly. Unable to believe what I was seeing, I took trembling steps and approached a tombstone not far from me . It read—"Tomb of Xiaoxue of the Huo Family of Fangmen!" "Yusheng, I'm Xue (Snow), you're Yu (Rain), our names complement each other! But don't misunderstand, I only mean our names!" " Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he never asks!" "Do you like little girls? If I have a daughter in the future, can we name her Xiaoyu (Little Rain)?" " Is it special for a woman to like reading Lu Sao's works? I don't think so. I'm just an ordinary woman! Also, I'm your sister-in-law..." " Yusheng, if you do this again, I'm going to tell your brother!" " Yusheng, you can't think like that anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!" " Yusheng, Yusheng..." "Yusheng..." Xiao...Xiaoxue, so you no longer exist in this world! Why did you have to die? Why did you die? Why were you so heartless to leave me behind? It turns out that I've always been the only one living a meaningless life in this boring world! The world is vast and boundless. Since the snow has vanished, why should the rain remain in this world? "Sir? Sir..." I don't know how long it took, but Xiaofang's calls brought me back to reality. Only then did I realize that I was in the main house of my ancestral home. The setting sun cast shadows outside, and it was already dusk. From this morning until now, apart from remembering that I had cried bitterly at Xiaoxue's grave, I could . "Sir, what do you think?" Xiaofang was beside me, her face also filled with sorrow. "It's nothing serious now." She probably brought me home when I was temporarily out of my mind. But she didn't say, and I didn't want to ask. "Yes, sir, who was the woman in that grave this morning…?" Xiaofang asked tentatively. "Her?…She…is my sister-in-law." "Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now, sir." "Yes! I was really sad! Because…she was the woman I loved most in my life!" "What? Then…but…" She hesitated. "But she's my sister-in-law! Although it shouldn't be, I love her! I still love her to this day!" "Um…sir, can you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?" She fiddled with her long braid, asking somewhat awkwardly. The curious girl's question was irresistible. I was momentarily disoriented; the scene before me gradually turned hazy and yellowish . The room seemed distorted, then stretched out endlessly, finally becoming a long, winding passage leading to the other side of time… Twenty years ago, in that cold winter, Huo Xiaoxue, true to her name, stepped into the Fang family's gate, draped in a blanket of snow, becoming…

She was my brother's wife. Born into a scholarly family in Shenyang, she received a modern education and possessed a refined and elegant
beauty. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business there and was immediately captivated by her. After years of persistent pursuit, he finally
won her heart and they married.

At the time, I was three years younger than her. Watching this ethereal woman, like a fairy descended from heaven, enter my home, my impulsive and fragile
young heart was deeply shaken. She was like a winged forest fairy in the mortal world,
completely different from the traditional and superficial worldly girls I had known before.

"Yusheng, your brother is often away on business, and I'm so lonely. Could you keep me company more? Oh
, and we're about the same age, so don't call me sister-in-law anymore, call me Xiaoxue. We're both young people..."

She wanted me to call her Xiaoxue! Besides my brother, I was the only one I could call her by name!
When my brother wasn't home, I was inseparable from her. Just seeing her graceful figure by my side every day made me
happy . When my brother was home, it felt like an eternity.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he
never asks. I know he treats me very well, but... but I don't need that..."

One melancholic late autumn, she gazed at the distant red sunset in the pavilion and confided to me softly. My brother was just
a vulgar businessman, ten years older than her; he was simply not right for her! He's not good enough for her! She was dissatisfied,
and she was hinting at it to me! At this point, she already had feelings for me! I knew!

"Yusheng, I'm Xue (Snow), you're Yu (Rain), our names complement each other! But don't misunderstand, I only mean
our names !"

I'm Yu, she's Xue, we're a match made in heaven! I understand! I understand what she means! I
know what to do!

"If you do this again, I'll tell your brother! Yusheng, I'm your sister-in-law
!"

That time, she slapped me hard! She was making her stance clear, telling me she was a
traditional, law-abiding woman, but she didn't say she didn't love me! She didn't say she didn't love me!

And I, absolutely not a person of propriety, on a spring evening when it was just the two of us at home, I
, slightly drunk, forced my way into Xiaoxue's bedroom, pushed her down onto the bed, and frantically kissed her lips, her
earlobes, her neck! Xiaoxue kept crying and screaming; she hit me, she cursed me, but this couldn't stop my
violation .

Tearing open the peach-pink bodice, a pair of glistening, snow-white breasts were right in front of me. The beautiful flesh before me was the
hope I had longed for for years but could never attain. I kept burying my head in her breasts for comfort, and then frantically sucking on
those two rosy nipples.

"No! Yusheng, don't do this! I'm your sister-in-law! Ah!" Xiaoxue had made a mistake; the words "sister-in-law"
only became a deeper, more intense stimulation in her ears! All those unorthodox words transformed into boundless
motivation. I wanted to have sex with my sister-in-law! I wanted to defy that damned morality! I wanted to defy fate!

When Xiaoxue and I became one, her cries were indistinguishable from sobs or moans, yet she was
embracing me tightly! Her legs were wrapped tightly around my waist, and I
released myself inside her in this wild and chaotic climax! I wanted to bury a part of my body deep within Xiaoxue's heart,
to imprint my mark on her body and soul, to make her my woman, to make her belong to me for all eternity!

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast? She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human? I'll beat you to death, you
inhuman beast..."

When the truth came out, my brother beat me mercilessly and verbally abused me relentlessly. But I didn't fight back, nor did I
defend myself. I didn't regret what I had done, but when I saw Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my
heart ached ! Xiaoxue, I'm sorry! But this was necessary, otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

"Stop! Fengyang, don't hit him anymore! No... he didn't force me!"

When I was beaten to the point of near death, she, who had remained silent until now, actually stepped forward to stop her husband.
Xiaoxue was speaking up for me! I didn't know if she was sincere or just trying to save me. At that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret
joy . Xiaoxue had finally taken the first step for me! If we could overcome this hurdle and take this step, a bright future
would lie ahead. But I never imagined that what seemed like the beginning of hope would turn into an irrecoverable end.

Regarding my brother's suicide, my father only said one last thing to me: "Go! I never
want to see you again in this life!"

The suddenness of events, the cruel manipulation of fate, was unbearable and unacceptable. I was just
pursuing my own happiness! What was wrong with that? Why did my brother have to die? Why did my father no longer acknowledge me as his son? And
why did Xiaoxue return to her hometown in Shenyang? Why wouldn't she see me again? It wasn't until many years later,

after countless changes in the world and life experiences, that I understood everything and realized the mistakes and sins I had committed. By then, my father had just passed away, and Xiaoxue's family had vanished without a trace. Even with repentance, I couldn't make amends for the people I had hurt. I always thought that one day I would meet Xiaoxue again, and I would make amends for her. I would ask her to forgive me and to resolve the unresolved question in her heart about whether she had ever loved me. But until today, when I learned that she was no longer alive, that Xiaoxue and I were already separated by death... In the early hours of the morning, the clock ticked relentlessly, but it couldn't drown out the howling wind and snow outside. The past is hazy, old feelings linger. After reminiscing, Xiaofang and I sat silently, unable to utter a single word. "Sir, do you still think about Xiaoxue?" After what seemed like an eternity, Xiaofang finally broke the silence. The heaviness in her eyes was no less than mine. "Of course I do! Even now, she's still in my heart, influencing my life, influencing my destiny. I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can you expect me not to think about her?" "But last night..." Xiaofang's suspicious gaze suddenly swept over me sharply. I froze. Last night I had been spying on her while she was showering, and she knew all along! "Xiaoxue couldn't bear the psychological and practical burdens of life under the cold gaze of worldly authority and morality . She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day! What have you ever done for Xiaoxue?" Xiaofang's face flushed as she spoke softly, followed by a sigh. I am a forty-five-year-old middle-aged woman. These past years I've wandered the world trying to make a living, lonely and homeless, living a nomadic life.

Although I have bed partners everywhere, I would never admit to it outside of brothels. However, when the girl in front of me saw through my act,
I was filled with shame. Yes! I ruined Xiaoxue's life, but over the years I've been intimate with countless women. I
say I regret it, but what have I done for Xiaoxue? What have I done for the people I've hurt?

"Last... I'm so sorry about last night! It's just... last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was... like hers!"
Only then did I remember the fairy-like feeling Xiaofang gave me, exactly the same as the feeling Xiaoxue gave me back then!

When Xiaofang heard my words, her body seemed to tremble slightly, and then she stared blankly at me. Her eyes
revealed the same subtle change that had appeared at the gate yesterday, but at this moment, I had no mood to care.

Feeling utterly ashamed, I silently left the main house and went into the inner courtyard. I picked up the old wine my father had always treasured and drank it down.
I didn't know what else to do! I couldn't face myself! I couldn't face Xiaoxue, who died for me!

I don't know how much strong liquor I had drunk; I began to feel dizzy and disoriented, and the surrounding scenery began to sway. Just then, the door
creaked open, and a woman in a pink nightgown stood before me. I remembered—it was Xiaoxue's nightgown from back then!

"Xiao...Xiaofang? What are you doing?" My eyesight was no longer good enough to make a definite judgment.

"I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!" she said calmly.

The wind and snow outside howled incessantly, the wind lashing against the paper windows, muffled and seemingly about to tear them apart.
Time freeze in that precarious moment. I could no longer contain my excitement, and I rushed forward to embrace her,
kissing her passionately!

"Xiaoxue! Forgive me! I beg you! Forgive me!"

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and licked it. She shuddered slightly at first, then closed her eyes, enjoying the teasing stimulation of my
tongue . As I felt her body begin to tremble and go limp, I carried her to my room, placed her on the bed,
removed her pink nightgown, and re-examined this long-lost delicate body. My tongue, earlobes, pink neck, shoulders, armpits,
breasts, and then her nipples, I sealed them with a deep, passionate kiss. By then, she was completely weak, moaning softly,
her vagina already overflowing with desire. Like a little girl who knew nothing, she closed her eyes tightly,
gently stroking me with her trembling little hands.

I pressed myself against her, aiming my penis at her clitoris, slowly inserting the head. Though she was in great pain,
constantly crying and whimpering, she opened her alluring eyes, gazing at me with tender affection, embracing me, her legs wrapped tightly around my
waist, letting me thrust wildly. My consciousness was hazy, my state frenzied, constantly turning her over and over, using
different positions to make love to her. Years of agonizing pain were released in this moment. I wanted to be one with Xiaoxue forever
, never to be separated again in this life!

"Xiaoxue! I love you! Xiaoxue! Don't leave me again!..."

She hugged me tightly, kissing me passionately. We thrust and responded to each other,
finally reaching a blissful climax. More than ten years of pent-up desire finally erupted within her, gushing wildly
. It felt as if all the moisture in my body had been drained, then wave after wave poured into her womb
until the last drop of semen was squeezed out. After pouring all my passion and desire into her, I felt completely
exhausted, and I held her as we slowly drifted off to sleep.

When I opened my eyes to the morning sun, I found myself lying naked in bed!
Xiao Fang was no longer beside me. Besides my clothes, a set of pink pajamas lay on the bedside.
After , I thought of the warmth and tenderness of last night, and I was filled with regret! Why would Xiao Fang do this?

I got dressed and searched the entire house, but Xiao Fang was nowhere to be found. I gradually sensed something was
amiss Where had she gone? How did she know Xiao Xue's clothes? How did she know Xiao Xue's feelings?
Who was she?

I searched every street and alley in the city, but still couldn't find Xiao Fang. Finally, I went to Uncle Huai's old house, hoping she was
there . But instead of Xiao Fang, I found Uncle Huai!

"Ah! Second Young Master! Is it really Second Young Master? You're finally back!"

"Uncle Huai! Didn't you go back to your hometown on business?"

"Who said I went back to my hometown? Miss Fang is here. She comes back every year on the anniversaries of the Old Master and Eldest Young Mistress's deaths. She wants to
live alone in the main house, so I'm staying at the old residence for a while."

"Miss Fang? Which Miss Fang?"

"Your relative, Miss Fang! Haven't you seen her? She's in the main house!"

"I don't have any relatives who are related to Miss Fang!"

"How could you not? She said she's your cousin! She was the one who brought Eldest Young Mistress back for her burial that year!
How could she not be your relative?"

"Uncle Huai, that Miss Fang…you don't mean Xiao Fang, do you?"

"Xiao Fang? No! Her name isn't Xiao Fang! Her surname is just Fang. I remember, she said her name was—
Fang Xiao Yu!"

My forehead felt like it had been hit hard, my body felt like it had fallen into a dark abyss. A
face , a name I couldn't forget—they belonged to the same person, and I couldn't even recognize her when we met.
Xiao Yu, you are Xiao Xue's messenger sent from heaven, bringing me an answer I've waited for over twenty years,
untying heart. You actually knew about Xiao Xue and me all along; you were always testing my
feelings for Xiao Xue, but why were you so foolish? To sacrifice yourself for someone who has been cast into hell and will never be reincarnated!
To give ! Back then, I harmed Xiaoxue; now I harm Xiaoyu, burdening me once again with an irreparable sin. Even
knowing Xiaoxue's feelings from back then, what difference does it make?

Now I'm on the train returning south, gazing at the swirling snow, overwhelmed with emotion. It turns out, people don't truly die
! They just change slightly in the next generation. Xiaoxue, you vanished from this world, yet another version
of you has unknowingly entered my dreams again. But no matter how hard I try, I can't find Xiaoyu,
and I have a vague feeling that we will never meet again in this life. Xiaoyu, I have no more desires. I only hope that wherever you are, in
the east, west, south, or north, may the falling snow bring me your message, letting me know that you
are still well in some corner of this world. Xiaoxue, may your spirit in heaven protect Xiaoyu like the falling snowflakes, bless
her, and grant her eternal happiness. "

Yusheng, I am Xue, you are Yu. If I have a daughter in the future, may I name her Xiaoyu?"
[The End]

When the large chiming clock at the South City Station rang six times in the silent morning air, I was jolted awake from a nightmare that felt like an eternal return.

Since last year, when my only gold-plated watch was exchanged for a train ticket due to insufficient travel funds, I now rely solely on the station bells to keep track of time. I slowly sat up, wiped the cold sweat from my forehead, and looked around to confirm that I was indeed in my ancestral home's room. It was an early winter morning, and the sun had not yet risen from behind the mountain. The entire room was shrouded in a dim and cool blue light, the room heavy and somber. Shadows from the previous night still lingered in the corners of the room, under the table, conveying a profound sense of melancholy for the aging inhabitants of the room.

The dream I just had is still vivid in my mind. In the dream, Xiaoxue sat coldly to the side on the pavilion, watching the drizzling rain outside. Then she turned to look at me, her face full of sorrow and bitterness.

I shook my head to calm my thoughts, got up, and went to the window to look out. Snow was falling all around, the distant view was hazy, but the snow was heavy but not fierce. Snowflakes drifted down and touched my lips, melting gently and slowly, as if an old friend had come to kiss me lightly.

This scene reminded me of the events of twenty years ago, those memories that still bled through my life, and that kiss as heavy as a mountain...

Love. Shaking. Half a Life,

Part One

[Love. Shaking]

Twenty years ago, I was still an ignorant young man born into a wealthy family.

Our Fang family originated from Sanjiazi in Beiping, a well-known wealthy and powerful family in the area. We owned
countless fields and mountains, and our family had been scholars for generations. I heard that our great-grandfather's generation even produced some scholars who passed the imperial examinations. In addition, my
brother has been working hard and achieving remarkable success in business since he took over the family seven years ago, so our family's prosperity is naturally even greater than before.

Although we are a wealthy family, the Fang family is small. My mother passed away not long after I was born, leaving only
my father, my brother, and me. Apart from an uncle who lived in the southern part of the city, we had no one else.

My father, who was in charge of the family business, was not a scholar, but he was kind and honest and treated his tenants well, making him a capable
person to maintain the family business. My elder brother, ten years my senior, is ambitious and, while helping our father manage the family business, actively engages in commerce. In this time of
national turmoil and internal and external troubles, he
has made remarkable achievements in businesses closely related to the nation, such as textiles, rice, and medicinal herbs.

Among the three of us, I am the only one who does not engage in production. What is rare for most people is the opportunity
to receive a university education in bustling Hong Kong. I completed it with a nonchalant attitude, but
for our father, who still hopes that a scholar or a licentiate will emerge from the family, this is already a great honor and a source of great joy. He has no other demands on me,
except for constantly urging my brother and me to get married and continue the family line.

Like other modern youths educated in the West, I yearned for the freedom romanticized and idealized by Western literature
, and detested constraints. I loathed traditional, conservative family businesses, the sleazy smell of merchants, the self-righteous
scholars, and the tragic state of a nation ravaged by bandits and war. For these reasons, I drifted aimlessly
through the days, until that day, when Xiaoxue appeared in my life like a spark igniting a firework.

Twenty years ago, in early December, when the weather was still chilly, Xiaoxue, true to her name, arrived in
Beiping (Beijing) amidst a blanket of snow. The Fang family's wedding became a major event in the neighborhood that year, with lanterns and decorations everywhere, creating a lively atmosphere.

I learned from my brother that Xiaoxue came from a scholarly family in Shenyang, received a modern education, and was beautiful and refined,
possessing the elegance of a young lady. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area, and was immediately captivated by her beauty. After years of persistent
pursuit , he finally won her heart and they married.

My brother told me that he didn't know
that .

As for me, it wasn't until his wedding day that I truly understood the meaning of my brother's words.

The wedding was exceptionally lively and exciting. Early in the morning, the sounds of music, firecrackers, and cheers from the crowds
echoed from the streets. Everyone in the family rushed to the front door to catch a glimpse of the bride's beauty. From afar, I watched as
the matchmaker carried the bride, dressed in a peach-red phoenix-embroidered silk gown and wearing a red silk crown with a gold phoenix design, into the house,
seemingly unconcerned. But for me, who loathed elaborate rituals, the noisy, clinking of glasses and the general clamor of the house were utterly irritating
, so I tried to avoid them whenever possible.

After the wedding ceremony, there was an endless stream of banquets and social obligations, with identical faces and identical blessings offered
one after another. As night fell, my elderly father, having drunk too much, had already gone to bed, and my brother was celebrating his wedding night
. As the only host in the main hall, I was naturally busy with social obligations and couldn't leave. Finally, after much effort, the guests had either become drunk or left,
and was nearly dawn. After seeing

the last guest off at the gate, I looked up at the sky. The once dark horizon was now showing a pale, fish-belly-like light
. Exhausted, I let out a long, stifling sigh, wanting nothing more than to head back to my room and sleep soundly. Just as I returned to my room via the pebbled path through the hanging flower gate corridor, I saw a strange woman sitting alone on a pavilion in the garden, staring blankly at the swirling snowflakes. Before me was an exceptionally beautiful woman, with a face that was both round and sharp, like an oval seed. Her long, unadorned black hair cascaded straight down her shoulders, and her long, curved eyelashes were captivating. Paired with her two clear, almond-shaped eyes , they seemed to be hidden behind layers of curtains, revealing a string of alluring glances when parted. She sat sideways on the stone bench, her slender figure and full breasts, barely concealed by her thick cotton coat, shimmering with a bluish glow in the morning light, exuding an ethereal beauty. It was a transparent and otherworldly beauty, extremely subtle. The ethereal yet radiant light she emanated filled the entire space, as if the surroundings had frozen in time, as if any disturbance would shatter and cease to exist. It was a natural, noble quality that surrendered to all, instilling a sense of unease, making it hard to breathe. I stood there, lost in thought, my palms sweating, afraid to move. The wind blew, and time seemed to stand still. Just then, tears suddenly streamed down her face. At first, they flowed quietly, but soon she began to convulse, then burst into silent wailing. This sudden turn of events threw me into disarray. I took a small step back, bumping into the bonsai behind me and shattering the tranquility. The woman looked at me with a hint of surprise, but within a second, she regained her composure and gently wiped away her tears. "Good morning, Second Uncle," she said. She was my sister-in-law, whom I had never met before, my brother's bride, Xiaoxue. "Oh...so it's Sister-in-law. You're up so early? I haven't slept yet!...Where's my brother?" I stammered for a moment before responding. "You're probably not used to sleeping in unfamiliar places. Your brother is still sleeping, and your second uncle is tired too. Go back to your room and get some rest !" Without waiting for my reply, she went back to her room with me, leaving behind a sweet aftertaste.

Enter all around. I stood there alone, not knowing where my sleep had gone, leaving only a trace of confusion and
an uneasy feeling in my mind.

A few days passed, and I didn't have many opportunities to meet this sister-in-law, and we didn't say anything other than nodding and saying hello.
However there was a beautiful woman in the house who was unexpectedly short of breath, and the whole big house also had an
awkward and uneasy atmosphere.

On the fifth day of the wedding, my brother was about to go to the south for business, leaving my wife alone at home.
My father saw that Xiaoxue had been alone at home for many days, so he asked me to accompany her outside. I agreed
immediately , Xiaoxue didn't say yes or no, she just followed me, and the two of us silently left the house
and went to the street.

I rarely spend time alone with my daughter's family, and the two of us looked at each other shyly for a while, saying nothing about each other. Seeing the tense atmosphere, I took
Xiaoxue to the place between Zhengyangmen and Yongdingmen, known as "Tianqiao" (the bridge the emperor used to walk on).
To the east the bridge are lined with stalls of all sizes, some pushing carts, some carrying
stretchers, displaying all kinds of local snacks and various trinkets. There are countless people performing arts and telling fortunes. It's bustling with people.

When we arrived at this ordinary people's market that we don't usually go to, Xiaoxue's face was noticeably less gloomy than before.
We browsed each stall, eating mung bean balls, then fried shrimp, and finally a piping hot jianbing (Chinese crepe).
Seeing Xiaoxue intently looking at the trinkets, I bought her a small powder box and a white ivory folding fan.
She thanked me with a smile, and I smiled back. Despite being three years older than me, she held these little things with a childlike
joy. I comforted her, and at the same time, I clearly understood Xiaoxue's recent melancholy.

Tired from walking, I took Xiaoxue to Beidaihe, where it was quieter, without a sound of cars,
and Xiaoxue's mood calmed down.

"Sister-in-law, are you hungry? I'll go buy some food..." After a moment of silence, everyone fell silent again. I tried to make
conversation, hoping to slip away as a strategic retreat.

"Yusheng, we're about the same age. Don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiaoxue! We're all young people, and I
don't want to call you 'Second Uncle,' it sounds too formal." Xiaoxue, ever the worldly-wise one, broke down the barrier between
them .

"Okay! I think so too. I love the name Xiaoxue, it suits you perfectly." This was my
honest opinion.

"Really? It's a pity it doesn't sound good with your brother's name! Fang Fengyang, Huo Xiaoxue, it sounds like they'd stir up a snowstorm if they walked
together !"

"Haha! I didn't even think of that until you mentioned it, it does sound a bit ominous!" I joked.
"Yusheng, I'm Xue, and you're Yu. Our names complement each other perfectly! But don't misunderstand, I
only mean our names!"

Xiaoxue smiled at me, a gentle breeze brushing past my ear. Her words and expression stirred a powerful
emotion within me, a bittersweet feeling.

I couldn't reply, and then another silence fell. At that moment, I recalled
the scene of Xiaoxue sitting in the courtyard on the morning of our wedding day—her sorrow and her tears. I wanted to know her thoughts, I wanted to understand her more, but I didn't know
where to begin.

We gazed at each other in silence. Suddenly, a series of alarm cries
came , followed by deafening sirens blaring from all directions. Xiaoxue was terrified, looking around in confusion, not knowing
what . I was also at a loss, so I grabbed Xiaoxue's hand and we ran,
heading towards the air-raid shelter like everyone else. The streets were in chaos; people were calling for their mothers, searching for their children, and some had fallen and been
trampled by those behind them. The once bustling street had instantly transformed into a hellish scene.

We ran and ran without caring about anything, finally reaching the air-raid shelter. It seemed rather small, and
the walls inside were pitch black. Before Xiaoxue and I could even settle in, we were constantly being
pushed in by the people following us. More and more people filed in, and we were constantly being squeezed and bumped from all directions. I spread my arms and tried my best to protect
Xiaoxue , but after the large steel door of the air-raid shelter closed, everyone was crammed together face to face and back to back.
I, who had been protecting Xiaoxue with my outstretched arms, ended up holding Xiaoxue tightly in my arms, chest to chest.

Xiaoxue and I were face to face, nose to nose, our rapid
breaths constantly spraying onto each other's faces. I smelled the sweet fragrance of a woman's breath and the intoxicating scent of roses
in her hair and body. In the darkness, I saw the light emanating from Xiaoxue's pupils.

Our bodies were pressed tightly together without any gap. I could feel her full, soft breasts
pressing against me, rising and falling. One of my arms, holding her, rested on her smooth back, while the other rested on her lower
back, slightly above her hips. The softness and elasticity there were no less than Xiaoxue's breasts.

Embracing her soft, warm body, my disobedient manhood was already hard against Xiaoxue's lower abdomen, making me
feel extremely embarrassed, yet also very satisfied. I don't know if she felt my restless,
unruly pounding. All I know is that Xiaoxue, whom I held tightly in my arms, was trembling stiffly, her heart pounding
and her breath coming in rapid gasps from our pressed bodies.

Time kept passing, and the scene before me was both awkward and warm. The air-raid shelter was filled with the noise of
people crying and the strong smell of body odor, but I felt nothing at all while being held tightly in the arms of this beautiful woman.
I was now in a world with only the two of us. The person opposite me was fragrant, warm, soft, and smooth.
Her breath was drawn into my body directly from her nostrils, and then my breath was absorbed directly
by the woman's body in front of me. This exchange of breath made me feel extremely intimate.

Unable to resist, I hugged her tighter and tighter, my lower body thrusting forward uncontrollably. My heart was racing, my throat was dry, and
I instinctively licked my lips with my tongue. The tip of my tongue seemed to touch something, and the body I was holding trembled slightly, but there was no other
extreme reaction. As if encouraged by something, I involuntarily parted my trembling lips slightly and moved forward quietly at a speed
almost zero.

Just as their lips were about to touch, a completely different alarm blared from outside—
the all-clear siren. It seemed this was another false alarm. Ever since the numerous atrocities involving the Japanese in China
, rumors of war had been circulating. Major cities were on edge, filled with unease, and
false air raid reports were frequent. Of course, no one could be sure the next one would be a false alarm as well.

With the all-clear sounded, everyone inside the cave let out various sighs of relief, like deflated balloons.
They breathed a sigh of relief, and then one by one, their bodies left the air-raid shelter, utterly exhausted. I dragged Xiaoxue from the darkness back into
the sunlight. Fortunately, it was nearing dusk, and the sunlight wasn't too glaring. I looked back at Xiaoxue; her head was down, her face
flushed red like fire in the sunset, and I finally remembered the enchanting scene we had just witnessed in the darkness.

It was true I had taken advantage, and it had completely crossed the line of intimacy between lovers. Yet, I
had been forced, against my will, and had no choice. Apologizing wasn't an option, nor was not apologizing. I felt as uneasy as a conscientious
thief.

We returned home in silence. As Xiaoxue went to her room, she turned back and smiled at me.
"Yusheng, thank you. I'm very happy today, and thank you for protecting me. Please don't
worry about ."

Watching Xiaoxue close the door, I felt a sense of relief. Xiaoxue didn't blame me. I closed my eyes, breathed a sigh of relief,
and stood there, like a little rascal who had stolen some candy, quietly savoring the floral scent and feeling.

From then on, Xiaoxue and I became close. She and her husband rarely saw each other, and on days when my brother wasn't around,
Xiaoxue and I were inseparable. I took her all over Beiping (Beijing), and she introduced me to Lu Sao's works and some
European literature I didn't know. I had never met such a knowledgeable woman; she was like a winged forest
fairy in the mundane world, completely different from the traditional and superficial worldly women I had known before.

The barriers between us were broken, and our conversations gradually deepened, ranging from the national situation to
our thoughts on life. Xiaoxue often teased me about my dissatisfaction with life, saying it was just
my immature, childish whining.

One day in the second year after Xiaoxue joined our family, we agreed to stroll around Tiananmen Square in the morning, then walk along Chang'an Avenue to
Xidan, Xisi, and then to the teahouses in Pinganli. In the afternoon, we also took a leisurely walk around Beidaihe. The setting sun cast its crimson glow over Beidaihe
, mingling with the deep shadows of the mountains. In the villas nestled at the foot of the mountains, a few
lights . Xiaoxue and I discussed literature, current events, and life amidst the shimmering lights and reflections on the water.

During our debate, my cynicism was once again mocked, and I retorted, unwilling to accept it, "My
sorrows are just empty words, so what about yours? Why were you crying on your wedding night?" As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew I had said the wrong
thing and was frantically trying to figure out how to smooth things over.

"You wouldn't understand the sorrow of being a daughter!"

Xiaoxue said wistfully, gazing at a point in the distance.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he never
asks. I know, I know he treats me very well, but... but I don't need that..."

Xiaoxue told me that her ideal husband had always been a man whose personality and thoughts were very
compatible . However, her parents wanted her to find a husband who could help the family business. Since she was little
, her parents had been constantly introducing her to wealthy and powerful men for blind dates. Xiaoxue knew that she had no choice in her life's most important matter,
but she still couldn't force herself to accept those vulgar men who made her want to vomit at first glance. Until my brother
appeared , he treated her with deep affection and doted on her. My parents were also very happy with him. Xiaoxue was moved,
and knowing that she was already twenty-seven and getting old, she didn't want to waste any more years and disappoint her family. This also relieved her of
a burden.

Winter had just passed, and the spring sun was shining brightly. The weather was neither sunny nor rainy. The cotton-like clouds in the sky
dispersed one by one, revealing patches of green smiles. The gentle breeze warmed my heart. I stared blankly
at Xiaoxue, feeling her sorrow as a new woman living in the old society.

"Yusheng, can you stop staring at me like that all the time? People will misunderstand!" She broke the silence
and turned to look at me.

It turned out that Xiaoxue had noticed me often staring at her with malicious intent, but at this moment, my gaze was devoid
of any desire, and I confidently met her eyes without looking away.

"Xiaoxue, when your brother isn't around, I will take his place and protect you properly."

Xiaoxue gazed into my eyes with watery eyes, then looked away awkwardly after a moment.

Realizing my lapse in composure, I quickly rambled on, "I hope that the next generation of women in China can be
independent and self-reliant , making their own decisions about their lives, and no longer needing men to protect them. You know, everyone likes
to have a son in the family, but I, Fang Yusheng, prefer daughters! I don't like boys!"

"Hmm? Yusheng likes daughters?" Xiaoxue turned to look at me.

"I love it. A little girl is like a doll; she'll be so lovable when she grows up. Unlike boys,
who are ugly and not quite grown up until they're six or seven, and then you have to spoil them terribly!"

Xiaoxue laughed, amused by my words, and jokingly added, "Yusheng likes little girls. If I have a
daughter , can I name her Xiaoyu...?" Her words became increasingly incoherent and wrong, so Xiaoxue quickly stopped talking.

Suddenly, a strong wind blew through the dense foliage of the trees in the twilight, its deep green roar
spreading slowly like ripples, and the cawing of crows echoed from the mountainside.

I pounced on Xiaoxue, hugging her and kissing her lips.

A moment later, a sharp "slap" resounded.

"If you do that again, I'll tell your brother! Yusheng, I'm your sister-in-law
!" Xiaoxue warned me sharply, her face flushed and her eyes blazing.

A burning pain shot through my face as I clutched my cheek, looking at Xiaoxue in terror, unsure what to do.

Dark clouds hung low and thick without warning, completely obscuring the crimson sunset. The cold, chilly sky, as if rain was imminent,
suddenly plunged into darkness. The once cool spring breeze howled incessantly. We remained silent
, allowing time for the turmoil in our hearts to subside.

"It's getting dark, let's go back!"

"Okay."

After that day, Xiaoxue deliberately avoided me. Aside from the three meals a day when the family had to sit together, I
had no time to spend with her.

This caused me immense distress.

What did I do wrong? What do you mean our names match? What do you mean we should name our daughter Xiaoyu?
Isn't that a hint? What do you mean the husband you envision is someone whose personality and thoughts are perfectly compatible with yours? Isn't that me
? Why are you rejecting me? Why are you avoiding me? Xiaoxue, what are you trying to say to me?

Xiaoxue has been married into the Fang family for three years, but she still hasn't borne any children. Her father is starting to insist on taking
a concubine for her brother, who, of course, is extremely opposed to this. During this time, there are frequent arguments between her father, brother, and Xiaoxue
.

To fulfill our father's wish to be his successor, my brother seized every opportunity to be intimate with Xiaoxue whenever he came home. On
quiet , lonely nights, I would often vaguely hear a woman's soft moans coming from the next room, whether from my imagination or not
. I would fantasize about Xiaoxue's snow-white naked body being molested by my brother, while frantically stroking my manhood, a bitter, aching
jealousy burning in my chest.

It was another sad December night. The winter solstice was in two days. It hadn't snowed before, but
that night, the snow finally fell, a thin blanket of white covering the earth. That night, my father and brother went out to a banquet, and
I, too, was a little drunk, staggering home. Reaching the courtyard, I was bathed in
the crisscrossing white snow and black tree shadows, and the drowsiness that had seeped into my brain suddenly vanished.

I saw that the door to my brother's room next door was only slightly ajar, with candlelight flickering through the small crack
.

All sleepiness vanished, but the intoxication reached its peak. I stumbled into my brother's room, slowly pushed open the wooden door, and saw Xiaoxue
lying on her side on the bed, facing the wall with her back to the door. She had probably fallen asleep while waiting for her brother to return.

It was obvious; my brother hadn't come back yet.

Inside the room, her silent figure and the flickering shadow in the candlelight overlapped and intertwined on the wall. My
inner eye spotted a pair of white satin shoes under the white curtains by the bed, and a delicate white
silk blouse and a green silk skirt hanging on a clothes rack. Seeing that Xiaoxue's outer garments were all removed and laid out to the side, a surge of heat
rose . My mind wandered, and I crossed the threshold to the bedside. A strong, intoxicating fragrance emanating from a woman after a bath
filled the entire room, making me feel intoxicated. My head spun, and I uncontrollably got into bed,
lying on my side beside Xiaoxue in the same position.

Xiaoxue didn't react.

After lying there holding my breath for a while, I moved my head closer, gently nuzzling my nose against the back of Xiaoxue's hair, inhaling her
rose-like scent. At that moment, I felt as if I had returned to that phantom time when we were pressed together in the air-raid shelter.

"Mmm..." Xiaoxue snorted.

Just like when I heard Xiaoxue's cries at midnight before, I was dizzy with excitement, my desire burning ever brighter.
One hand uncontrollably slipped under the covers and slowly moved from behind to Xiaoxue's chest.

Finally, I grasped one of Xiaoxue's breasts, which was only covered by a thin blouse!

That was Xiaoxue's breast, that was my home, that was the hope I had longed to touch for the past three years, a hope I
had dared not have .

The firm, full breasts, their heat and swelling sensation emanating from my palms, possessed a soft yet elastic texture
that defied description. I gently squeezed and kneaded them with my fingers, the smooth, watery flesh rippling freely in my palms. I
wantonly ravaged and teased those undulating roundness, the protruding nipples gradually hardening.

Having found my target, I pinched those tender nipples between my fingertips and played with them at will. The body I touched
trembled slightly. In extreme excitement, I extended my tongue to lick that alluring pink neck. The woman before me virtuously and obediently
raised for me to lick, the tip of my tongue experiencing the most exquisite skin sensation in the world, as soft and sweet as egg white.

I was completely captivated. My tongue savored the smoothness of her neck, then moved to her delicate earlobe, before curling
my tongue probing into her ear canal. Xiaoxue flinched slightly, her waist swaying gracefully.

Lost in passion, my tongue greedily searched for her lips. Xiaoxue, understanding, obediently turned her face towards me.

At that moment, our eyes met.

"Yusheng!? How could it be you? What are you doing here!?"

The man sleeping beside her wasn't her husband. Xiaoxue's almond-shaped eyes widened in fury as she shouted and tried
to push me away.

At that moment, I had completely lost my senses. Without hesitation, I forcefully pressed Xiaoxue's hands down, pinning her heavily
beneath me.

"Xiaoxue! I love you! I've always loved you! You know my feelings, so why are you
avoiding me?"

"You're drunk! Yusheng, you can't think like that anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!"
Looking into my eyes, Xiaoxue's initially angry expression began to show panic.

"I don't care! I want you! Xiaoxue, I love you so much! Don't run away from me! I want to have you now!"

I forcefully kissed Xiaoxue's lips. She struggled desperately, my kisses covering her face, cheeks, ears, and neck.

"No! No! Yusheng… I'm your… sister-in-law… no… no… I beg you… no…"

Although Xiaoxue trembled terribly, she tried her best to suppress her cries, afraid of alerting those outside.

This is the old society! A woman who is violated and humiliated is not even allowed to cry out for help! If others find out about
this "moral and shameful act," the woman will always be the one who suffers!

I didn't want to disturb the servants, so I silenced Xiaoxue's pleading mouth with my own, my tongue plunging deep into her
mouth to touch her tongue tip.

Xiaoxue was speechless, so I took the opportunity to explore every corner of her mouth with my tongue, entwining her
delicate tongue, gathering the saliva inside, and then bringing it to my own mouth.

I pressed Xiaoxue down on the bed and kissed her incessantly, while gusts of cold wind blew in through the cracks in the window, scattering the flickering
candlelight across the floor.

"Mmm...no...mmm..." After being pressed down and kissed by a large man for a long, long time, Xiaoxue's delicate
voice grew weaker and weaker, her struggles waning. I released Xiaoxue and began
to roam freely .

Xiaoxue's body, thoroughly explored by me, began to tremble, only able to offer sporadic resistance.

I unfastened the three knots on her right breast, pulling open her blouse
to reveal slightly sunken shoulder hollows, full, high breasts, two delicate pink nipples,
a slender waist with graceful lines, and a rounded lower abdomen revealing a hint of pubic hair. I was momentarily stunned.

Xiaoxue shyly covered herself with her hands, but I forcefully pulled one away and then grasped her alluring breasts,
sucking and licking them with abandon, savoring them like precious jewels.

"Mmm...mmm...no..." By this time, Xiaoxue was completely exhausted, her hands only able to slightly push my
shoulders .

At this moment, the prey before me was powerless to resist, and my animalistic instincts subsided.
Before the woman I loved most in my life, the most precious treasure in the world. With boundless tenderness, I
gazed upon her captivating body once more, then sealed each kiss with my own. I savored Xiaoxue's beauty,
starting , not even sparing her eyelids. After kissing her cheeks, neck, and shoulders, I leaned in to breathe and lick her intoxicating armpits,
sucking on each slender, jade-like finger. Then I savored her smooth, soft back, her round, pert buttocks, and her long, slender legs.
Every inch of her feet. Xiaoxue, kissed all over her body, was almost completely limp, panting heavily, her eyes glazed,
her small mouth only able to murmur softly.

Her lower garments had already been removed. After tasting every delicate toe, I slowly parted Xiaoxue's legs.
Two pale pink labia came into view, with a large, sticky patch in the middle. Her body didn't lie; it
had responded to my intrusion with a triumphant roar. However, as a shameful married woman, having her most
private parts completely exposed to a man other than her husband, and even reacting with desire, Xiaoxue was overwhelmed with
shame covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

I lowered my head and inhaled the faint, slightly fishy fragrance of orchids, which was intoxicating. I couldn't help but stick out my tongue and lick
the flesh of her honeyed orifice. Xiaoxue's previously limp body convulsed violently as if electrocuted, then
tensed up . With each lick, Xiaoxue stretched and bent more like a rubber band. When I took a big sip, she
arched back as if the string had been cut, her whole body paralyzed and relaxed, letting out a long sigh.

I breathed in the intoxicating fragrance, licking every crevice of her flower, constantly sipping the gushing nectar,
and digging deep into the heart of her flower with my tongue. Xiaoxue's waist arched and tightened intermittently, sometimes curling up and going limp; it was hard to tell
whether was a thousand pleasures or ten thousand torments.

Having savored the most alluring flower bud in the world, I sipped from the protruding pistil, then
licked straight up from there, past the grass, the navel, the cleavage, until I reached her lips. My entire body was now in position. I assumed a stance,
my manhood thrusting unreservedly into the flower bud.

The glans pressed against the warm, moist mud, stretching open the tight walls of flesh, reaching the deepest part of her dream. Xiaoxue, who had been
weeping , suddenly widened her almond-shaped eyes, her mouth half-open, staring at me with terror, experiencing
this important moment as I became her man.

Xiaoxue and I were finally one! I gazed at Xiaoxue with deep affection, my lower body beginning to
move rhythmically, gradually increasing in speed. Xiaoxue looked at me with a face that was neither crying nor laughing, her lower body slowly twisting to meet my
thrusts . Encouraged, I moved faster and faster uncontrollably, and with a few powerful thrusts, I couldn't
help but ejaculate prematurely in the midst of excessive stimulation and excitement, a large amount of my pent-up semen violently
injected into the deepest part of Xiaoxue's dream. Xiaoxue seemed to sense it as well, gripping my shoulders tightly with both hands, her starry eyes hazy,
her face flushed. Her feminine instincts transformed her back into a virtuous and submissive woman, accepting the man's seed and nourishment.

This moment was the ecstasy of my life, the pinnacle of my existence. I was united with the woman I loved most,
planting my deepest seed of love within her dreams, imprinting the most intimate mark upon her life, making her my
woman, belonging only to me for life. After fertilization, Xiaoxue's entire body turned pink, a
blissful testament to her acceptance of my love.

We stood breathless, facing each other, the woman before me her face flushed with a beautiful blush, her eyes
brimming with captivating charm, gazing tenderly into my eyes. Looking at her captivating face, I couldn't resist lowering my head
to kiss her again. This time, Xiaoxue didn't resist; instead, she opened her small mouth and extended her tongue to meet my kiss. Overjoyed, I
closed enjoyed the entanglement of our tongues. My manhood, which had been buried deep in my dreams since my release, was
now stirring again.

Xiaoxue, already melted by my touch, swayed her slender waist and lovingly embraced my head, allowing me to
kiss her all over. After a while, my waist ached, and I wanted to change positions, but I didn't want to leave Xiaoxue, afraid that
the seed I had just injected would overflow. I grabbed one of Xiaoxue's legs and, still inside her, rotated her
body, making her lie face down on the bed. As her body was rotated, Xiaoxue couldn't help but let out
a cry like a fairy.

Having completed the turn, I thrust forward with a firm stance, my long, powerful strokes making my ample buttocks, which appeared even more exaggerated from
behind , slapped loudly with each impact. Xiaoxue, with her back to me, initially bit
her arm to endure it, but as the thrusts grew stronger and more frequent, she finally couldn't hold back any longer and let out a roaring
wail.

The creaking of the bed frame and the slapping of flesh against flesh rose and fell, faster
and more frequent, until finally merging into a single, continuous sound. Xiaoxue, her hair disheveled and back to me, went from roaring to
opening her mouth but unable to utter a sound. I couldn't control myself, riding the woman I loved most from behind, wantonly torturing and ravaging her
. Then, in the wildest posture, at the peak of pleasure, I once again ejaculated my
deep .

With each release, my penis felt the vaginal walls spasm and convulse, knowing that Xiaoxue was
simultaneously reaching a soul-stirring climax with me, leaving me utterly satisfied.

After the climax, my excited body calmed down slightly, and I turned Xiaoxue over using the same movements as before. The
connection between us felt grinding and rotating again, and Xiaoxue once more gasped and cried out in pain.

We gazed at each other face to face again. Xiaoxue, her body brimming with my seed, had shed all her ladylike dignity and shyness.
Her hair was disheveled, her face flushed, her eyes half-open, her gaze fixed on my face with a wild, lustful light.

I kissed her tenderly, and my manhood, which hadn't left me for a moment, began to throb again without fatigue.
Xiaoxue gently hooked her arms around my neck, swaying her hips naturally, displaying her erotic pleasure without any shame. Honey-like fluid continuously overflowed from the depths of her
already swollen cavity, making beautiful "plop plop" sounds.

We were intertwined on the bed like two snakes, lost in endless ecstasy, giving and receiving again
and again , tenderly loving, joyfully entwined.

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast?!"

A sudden roar rang out from outside the door. Startled from our blissful state, we both looked towards the door. My brother stood there,
his face purple, glaring at us and roaring!

Startled, I quickly regained my composure. I coldly got up and dressed, while
Xiaoxue ashamed, hid under the covers.

"It was me! I insulted Xiaoxue!" I said coldly to my brother.

There was no turning back. I couldn't lose Xiaoxue, I couldn't return her to my brother. I faced
the consequences without hesitation: either I had Xiaoxue, or I was ready to die!

"She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human?! I'll beat you to death, you beast!"

With a powerful punch, he sent me flying off the ground and slamming me against the wall. Before I could even regain
my senses , a second punch came crashing down on me, instantly splattering blood everywhere. My brother, who had always doted on me the most, was completely out of control
, tears streaming down his face, and he cornered me against the wall, relentlessly beating me with his fists and feet.

I didn't resist, nor did I defend myself. I accepted it willingly, and I didn't regret anything I did. But when
I saw Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my heart ached! Xiaoxue, I'm so sorry! But this was
necessary ; otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

My brother, ten years my senior, has always felt responsible as the head of the family. Although he was strict with me, he
never physically punished his younger brother. I knew that behind the strict father's mask, he had always loved me dearly. At this moment
, as my brother beat me like a madman, I clearly felt his grief, his disappointment in me, and
the depth of his love for Xiaoxue.

I'm so sorry! Brother, you've fallen in love with your sister-in-law. Your brother has no way back. I have to take
this step. As long as I can get through this, a bright future awaits me. Brother, hit me! Beat me to
death ! But if you can't bring yourself to kill this beast in the end, I'll run away with Xiaoxue and live happily ever after
!

My brother hit, cursed, and cried. In the end, his tears dried and he ran out of words. He lost his mind and couldn't stop
hitting me. I felt my head was broken, my hands were broken, and my sternum was fractured. I was covered in blood from head to toe. My brother was also covered
in blood. I knew he didn't want to continue. I knew he kept telling himself to stop, but he just couldn't stop.
He couldn't face himself except by hitting me. One was his most beloved brother, and the other was his most beloved wife. My brother, unable to face
the reality had no way out, just like me.

When I saw blood gushing from my throat, even with my swollen and mangled mouth pounded by the blows
, I managed a final, bitter smile. I knew I was going to die! I knew I wouldn't make it through this. Just as Xiaoxue had said,
we had no future!

"Stop! Fengyang, don't hit him anymore! No… he didn't force me!"
As I lay on the verge of death, Xiaoxue, who had been silent until now, suddenly stepped forward to stop her husband. She was
speaking up ! I didn't know if she was being sincere or just trying to save me. At that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret joy. Xiaoxue
had finally taken the first step for me! If we could just overcome this hurdle and take this step, a bright future would lie ahead
!

As soon as Xiaoxue finished speaking, her brother stopped punching and kicking. He stared blankly back at Xiaoxue, still wrapped in a quilt
on the bed , his desperate eyes welling up with tears again. Xiaoxue's sobbing stopped too
. A profound silence fell, broken only by the sound of her own heartbeat. The nearly burnt-out candlelight flickered, casting the silhouettes of everyone
and everything on the walls like a chaotic dance of demons.

Without a word, her brother abandoned our broken bodies and left the room, his steps faltering like the candlelight.
The next morning, the servants found her brother's already cold body, hanging in the west wing.

My family suffered a devastating blow. My father, heartbroken beyond tears, only said two sentences to me:
"Go! I never want to see you again in this life!"

That was the last time I saw my father's face. I was sometimes lucid and sometimes unconscious, unable even to get out of bed.
The servants carried me in a carriage to my second uncle's house in the south of the city. I lay in my second uncle's house for half a year. When I was able to walk again, I
went home for a visit. The servants didn't dare let me into the house. My steward, Uncle Huai, who had always been very kind to me, secretly told me that Xiaoxue
had returned to her maternal family in Shenyang not long after I was sent away. I rushed to Shenyang immediately. When Xiaoxue's family saw me,
they carried me out with a wooden cane without saying a word. Three months later, when I went to find Xiaoxue again, I found that her whole family had moved away from Shenyang and I had lost all contact with them
since .

Years later, the eight-year War of Resistance against Japan broke out. At a time when the nation's survival was at stake, I wandered alone, searching for Xiaoxue's
family, but to no avail. A

few years later, I received a letter from my second uncle informing me of my father's passing. At that time, war was raging, Beiping had fallen, and communication was cut off. In addition, the letter arrived after several detours, three months after my father's death. I then gave up the idea of risking returning to Beijing for the funeral. More than a decade has passed like flowing water. Until last year, on a sudden whim, I returned to Beiping, which I had left more than ten years ago. My old home was abandoned, with only a seventeen or eighteen-year-old girl tending to it. I felt a strange affection and admiration for this girl, yet she always seemed so distant, forever out of reach. After settling into the ancestral home, the girl and I went to pay respects to my father. To my utter shock, I discovered a new grave next to my father's and brother's, inscribed "Tomb of Fang Xiaoyu of the Huo Family!" That very night, the girl who had guarded the gate vanished without a trace. The next morning, I went to Uncle Huai, and only then did I learn that the strange girl was not a relative of his; her name was Fang Xiaoyu! Part Two: Half a Lifetime. [Fate] As the station's grand chime rang seven times again, the world had quietly transformed. I returned from the fleeting glimpses of the past to reality. I was still in my old family home, the winter morning light illuminating every corner, all the dark particles of last night gone. Yet, I would not forget the fact that Xiaoxue was no longer alive, the one who gave me the motivation to live , was gone. In reality, Xiaoxue is no longer alive. My chest feels like it's been stabbed open. My mind is filled with memories of living with Xiaoxue: the funny cobblestone path, the darkness inside the air-raid shelter, the cold wind blowing all night, the sound of the trees swaying, her favorite dragon beard noodles, the gentle moon, the winter morning sunlight, and that unforgettable sweet profile. This year, life and death intertwined, and I wandered alone in painful memories. The memories were so real, yet reality was so illusory. Everything before me seemed unchanged; every day was the same as the day before. I lost the continuity of time, lost my connection with the world. My so-called living had no future, no direction. What I saw, knew, and felt only echoed hollowly, causing a deep pain and soreness in my chest. A year has passed, and I have finally recovered from the fact that Xiaoxue is dead. But the dead are gone, and what about the living? Where is Xiaoyu now? There was a knock on the door. "Second Young Master, it's me." It was Butler Huai. The door opened, and Uncle Huai came in with a basin of hot water to help me wash up. "Uncle Huai, you don't need to serve me anymore. These past years I've traveled the world, and I've learned to take care of myself. I'm not the pampered boy I used to be ." "It's my duty. Uncle Huai is just a servant; I'm overjoyed to see you, Second Young Master, back!"

"Yes, didn't you say that Miss Fang comes back to pay respects to Eldest Brother and Young Mistress every year around this time
?"

"Yes! Ever since Miss Fang brought Young Mistress's body back for burial four years ago, she's come back every winter to
stay for ten days or so to visit her. You met her around this time last year when you came back, didn't you? But Second Young Master, you
're right, why hasn't Miss Fang appeared this year, even after the anniversary of Young Mistress's death? Is there some kind of obstacle on her journey? Yes
, Second Young Master, the Japanese devils were only driven out a few years ago, and I heard that the country is about to have a civil war again. Do you think it might
really start?"

How could I have the time to think about the country's mess? My mind was preoccupied with Xiaoyu, and
I ignored . Seeing me in a daze, Uncle Huai understandingly stepped back.

Xiaoyu, are you avoiding me?

Suddenly, a shadow blocked the sunlight. I looked up at the window; the curtains fluttered in the breeze.

Xiaoxue stood by the window, gazing at me with a sorrowful expression.

"Xiaoxue, can you tell me where Xiaoyu is?"

Xiaoxue shook her head slightly, then looked towards East Street outside the window, her sorrow unchanged.

A gust of north wind blew by, pulling the curtains up and obscuring Xiaoxue's figure. When they slowly fell back down
, Xiaoxue was gone.

In reality, Xiaoxue was no longer there.

I went to the window and saw a large crowd gathered in the direction of Tiananmen Square on East Street, a bustling scene. My
thoughts stirred, and I quickly washed and changed, then went out to see what was going on.

Thousands of students gathered along Dongda Street,
marching and demonstrating under the banners of "anti-hunger," "anti-persecution," and "anti-Americanism," waving flags, distributing leaflets, and chanting slogans. Military and police remained on high
alert and ready to erupt at any moment.

Having never cared about the country before, I found myself among the crowd, looking around. At that moment
, I didn't even know why I was standing there, or what I was looking for.

Suddenly, my entire body tensed. In the dense crowd, I saw
the figure of a girl with a long braid at the side!

Just then, a gunshot rang out from somewhere, and the thousands of people instantly
erupted into a riot, the situation spiraling out of control. Citizens scattered in all directions, students rushed towards the military and police, and the military and police rushed towards
the students . Many people were shouting, many were crying, some fell, some lay on the ground, and then
two or three shots rang out intermittently. The situation was chaotic.

I rushed to the spot where I had just found the girl, but she was nowhere to be seen amidst the chaotic crowd
.

Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu? Was she Xiaoyu?

A series of panicked thoughts filled my mind. Suddenly, a military policeman wielding a wooden baton rushed towards me. Seeing that I was wearing a worn-out beige
long gown probably thought I was a teacher from Peking University!

I stood there, stunned, my mind blank. Just as I was about to be struck by a thunderbolt, a small but powerful stone flew
out of nowhere and hit the soldier in the face. He collapsed in pain, clutching his face. Before I
could even react, someone grabbed my right hand and pulled me away.

We burst through the crowd. She pulled me along as we ran, and I was pulled along as we
ran. It felt like we were escaping the shackles of the world, breaking free from worldly constraints. It was as if the world consisted only of the
two of . We were adrift in the wind and dust, wandering to the ends of the earth. I ran and ran after her, a long
braid swaying straight in front of me, brushing against my face. The intoxicating scent of roses was captivating; I recognized
it I had smelled it last year, and I had smelled it twenty years ago.

Finally, we left the crowd and ran to a secluded alley to catch our breath.

As I panted, I made sure I recognized the person who had saved me. The girl before me had a long braid
, eyes like dark ink dots, lips like ripe peaches, and a clear, beautiful face with seven parts carefree spirit and three parts
melancholy, like a forest fairy with two transparent wings from Western mythology, fallen to earth.

She was the girl who had brought me back to my senses and simultaneously made me lose my way again in the Fang family mansion last year.

Her name was: Fang Xiaoyu!

After catching her breath, Xiaoyu gave me an unfriendly look, then said, "I'm leaving!" and
got up to turn and leave.

I held her hand, not letting her leave. Our skin touched again, and the emotions of that night in the ancestral home last year stirred once
more . Those fragments of memory, which often unintentionally knocked on my heart,
replayed in my mind like a film…

“I…I’m sorry! Mr. Fang, I didn’t know you’d come here, Uncle Huai…I heard you haven’t
been back for over ten years, so…” “

It’s alright. Hey! What’s your name?” “

I…my name is…Fang…” “

Fang? Your name is Fang?” “

Yes…just call me Xiao Fang!…Come on! Let me get your luggage for you, sir.”
“No need, I can do it myself.”

………

“Sir, how are you?” “

She’s alright now.” “

Yes, sir, who was that woman in the grave this morning…”

“Her?…She…is my sister-in-law.”

"Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now." "

Yes! I'm really sad! Because… she's the woman I love most in my life!" "

What? Then… but…" "

But she's my sister-in-law! Although it shouldn't be, I just love her! I still love
her like that to this day!" "

Um… sir, can you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?"

…

Sir, do you still think about Xiaoxue? "

Of course I remember her! Even now, she's still in my heart, influencing my life, influencing my destiny.
I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can you expect me not to miss her?" "

But last night..."

...

Xiaoxue couldn't bear the weight of her emotions and reality under the cold gaze of worldly authority and morality to complete
the so-called path of life. She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day!
What have you ever done for Xiaoxue?" "

Last...last night I'm so sorry! But...last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was...like her!"

...

Xiao...Xiaofang? What are you doing? I was

so drunk and dizzy that I couldn't make a definite judgment.

Xiaoyu stood in front of me wearing Xiaoxue's pajamas from back then.

I just want you to know that I did like you back then!

…

"Let go of me! What are you doing?" Xiaoyu forcefully shook off my hand, and the scene of the big house from last year in my mind
was abruptly interrupted.

My mind returned to the present, and after a brief standoff, I spoke first: "Xiaoyu, aren't you going to worship your mother anymore?"

"What did you say? What Xiaoyu? What do you mean you're not worshipping my mother?" The little girl stammered.

"I've seen Uncle Huai. He told me that your name is Fang Xiaoyu, and four years ago, you were the one who brought Xiaoxue back
to be buried ."

Xiaoyu turned her face away from me, her tail swishing back and forth like a pendulum.

"I'm asking you, aren't you going to pay respects to your mother?"

"...I already did, but I've been staying at the inn. I originally planned...to
stay at the main house for a few days after you left before leaving." Her eyes darted around, but she still wouldn't look at me.

Oh well! It's only natural that she felt awkward in front of me, remembering what happened at the main house last year.

"It's very chaotic around here now. It would be troublesome for a girl like you to get caught by the military or police. I'll go with you to check out of the inn and we
'll figure it out back at the main house."

"I'm not going back!" She turned her head away, giving it a defiant flick.

"You didn't go back to the main house to avoid me. Now that you can't avoid me, what are you doing outside?"

Xiaoyu was speechless for a moment and couldn't argue with me, so I half-dragged her back to the main house.

The Fang family mansion, which has been passed down for more than three generations, is located at the very end of Jizhao Hutong in Beiping, far away from
the bustling city center and surrounded by lush greenery. After a snowfall, the entire mansion is enveloped in a strong sense of antiquity
, and it is the most traditional courtyard house structure.

After entering the red-lacquered gate with its lion-head bronze rings, and passing through the corridor between the rear building and the hanging flower gate, you arrive at
the spacious filled with flowers and potted plants. Behind the inner courtyard is the main house, with the east wing to the right and the west wing to the left. In the past, my father and his wives
and concubines all lived in the main house. It was customary for the eldest son to live in the east wing, and the other family members to live in the west wing. However, because
the house was so large, the east wing was divided into front and back rooms for my brother and me, while the west wing was used as a guest room for
entertaining guests. The east wing itself was already quite magnificent. At the end of the corridors of the side rooms on both sides, there were ponds, gardens, and small
pavilions, with jujube trees and grapevines planted all year round. The corridor area exuded endless interest.
On the morning , I sat there alone, silently shedding tears.

Twenty years later, Xiaoyu and I sat in the same spot where Xiaoxue had sat. I was telling Xiaoyu about the first time I saw Xiaoxue cry
that night , while Xiaoyu silently threw pebbles into the pond, causing the carp
to scatter in all directions.

I asked her, "Xiaoyu, how have you and your daughter been all these years?"

She told me that ever since I went to Shenyang to find Xiaoxue and was taken away, Xiaoxue's shameful deeds in her husband's family could no longer
be hidden . Whether voluntary or forced, a woman who has lost her virginity is considered wicked. Gossip is a powerful force, and the Huo family
endured constant scorn and harsh judgment from all sides. Even Xiaoxue, heavily pregnant, was attacked when she went out. The Huo family
was utterly ashamed and had no choice but to move to Liaoning. There, Old Master Huo sought refuge with a sworn
brother . No one there knew the Huo family, no one would find them, and even if someone knew about Xiaoxue, they couldn't afford
to offend them.

At this moment, I recalled Xiaoxue's sorrowful words on the banks of Beidaihe: "Yusheng, you will never understand
the sorrow of being a daughter!" A deep sadness welled up in my heart.

The discriminatory glances and sarcastic remarks from everyone around her were the invisible harm accumulated over time. Because of herself, she ruined
her whole family, and Xiaoxue could never forgive herself. She was depressed all day long, and after giving birth to Xiaoyu, she
was plagued . When Xiaoyu was ten years old, Xiaoxue, who had no will to live,
left this world with a knot in her heart that would never be untied. Later, as the Japanese army was defeated and retreated, many areas and transportation were opened up. Xiaoxue
's younger brother, who loved her and her daughter the most, took Xiaoyu, who was only fourteen years old, to send Xiaoxue back to the north for a peaceful burial, fulfilling Xiaoxue
's wish to "be born a member of the Fang family and die a ghost of the Fang family."

When I regained a little composure, I found myself silently shedding tears under the stars of a winter night, while
Xiaoyu with her head resting on my shoulder, was also crying uncontrollably. Before I knew it, it was evening. I cried silently, tears welling up in
my eyes only to flow again immediately. The once peaceful house, the ancient trees, the pavilions, even my
own feet suddenly felt burning hot in the cold wind, and I almost couldn't breathe. I was heartbroken.

"Why weren't you with us then?" Xiaoyu said softly, her tone so much like her mother's.

I was speechless.

"Where's your uncle? Why have you been the only one coming back these past two years?" I asked again after a moment, putting my hand on
Xiaoyu's shoulder. She didn't stop me.

"He's dead. He was killed two years ago when the Japanese army retreated, because of me." Xiaoyu's voice was cold and
lifeless .

"In the past two years, you're the only young girl who's returned to her hometown alone. What's wrong with the Huo family?!"

Xiaoyu didn't reply; her silence was the answer. It was so obvious that,
apart , the entire Huo family didn't treat this ill-fated mother and daughter well.

"Stay, okay? Don't go back to the Northeast." I gently stroked her hair.

"No, I have to catch the train back tomorrow morning. I was planning to go to the station to buy a ticket this morning." Xiaoyu kept
fiddling with her braids.

"Why are you rushing back?"

"To get married."

"Get married?! You're only eighteen. Why are you rushing to get married?" I was very surprised and turned to look at
Xiaoyu.

She suddenly stood up, her large, dark eyes glaring at me in astonishment: "Why!? You're
asking me why!? You really don't understand why I'm in such a hurry to get married!?" With that, she ran away.

Back at the door of the room where my elder brother, Xiaoxue, had lived, Xiaoxue, without turning her head, coldly said, "You wouldn't understand the sorrow of
being a daughter!" Then she closed the door.

Suddenly, it dawned on me—I was such a reckless fool. Of course, Xiaoyu's eagerness to find her
master was because of me!

A year ago, in winter, Xiaoyu and I met in this large house. I thought she was just an ordinary servant.
When we went together to pay respects to our father and brother, I was shocked to find Xiaoxue's grave nearby. In my deep sorrow, I
told Xiaoyu about my past with Xiaoxue, confessing my feelings for her over the past twenty years.

That night, the wind and snow outside howled incessantly, the wind lashing against the paper windows with a muffled sound, as if it were about to tear them apart.
Yes. We were both drunk when Xiaoyu suddenly changed into her mother's clothes from twenty years ago and came to me,
gazing at me tenderly, saying, "I just want you to know that I did like you back then!"

Drunk and incoherent, I mistook Xiaoyu for Xiaoxue and pulled her into bed! A night of madness
ensued, and the next morning Xiaoyu disappeared without a word.

I searched everywhere for her that year, but never imagined she would be in the most turbulent northeast. I couldn't find her.
The only thing I learned from Uncle Huai was that for the past four years, Xiaoyu had always returned to pay respects to her mother every winter. Therefore, this
winter, I stayed at the ancestral home waiting for her return.

It was late at night, and all around was deathly quiet, utterly silent, not even the sound of the wind could be heard. I lay in my bed in
my room, staring blankly into the void. The silence of the night intensified the inexplicable sorrow. I
looked up at the night sky through the skylight, and among the constellations of the clear winter night, I couldn't find my way in the darkness.

In the vast night, when everyone else was asleep, I was all alone, unable to sleep at all, my heart in turmoil.
Today, I met Xiaoyu again, but tomorrow, when the light rises above the horizon, I will
lose Xiaoyu again. I know very well that after tomorrow's parting, we will never see each other again in this life. I will lose Xiaoyu forever
, and my last connection with Xiaoxue will be severed forever. I

tossed and turned, lost in thought, when suddenly the door creaked open, letting in a soft, hazy moonlight.
Looking out from the dim room, the bright moonlight illuminated a graceful fairy
figure The fairy stood woodenly in the doorway, looking at me, her long, loose hair cascading over her shoulders.

I recognized her immediately—it was Xiaoyu. But Xiaoxue had been appearing in my dreams and in my sleep, giving
me a sense of unreality. I couldn't be sure of anything. The woman before me made my heart pound.

She entered and sat down on the bed, then without a word, snuggled into the covers and lay down
beside .

"I'm cold! I don't want to sleep alone!" she said, her back to me.

It was indeed Xiaoyu.

I never expected Xiaoyu to be so affectionate with me. In the starlight of the night, I felt
a strong sense of happiness at her sudden affection—a slightly guilty yet incredibly sweet happiness. I thought that as long as the sun
doesn't , she will always be by my side, comforting me.

Like everyone else, I once had family, but as time passed, they
left my world one by one, leaving me all alone. Looking back, everything seems so real, like
a mirage . Why am I the only one still alive? In this big house where I grew up, I
've clearly spent many years here, so why am I all alone in the end?

But I wasn't! Today I realized I'm not alone after all! Ahead of me was a light rain, and
behind the light rain was me. Tonight, I no longer felt lonely. This place, perhaps, was the haven I had always dreamed of—a place where I could
forget today and stop thinking about the future.
"Xiaoyu, who are your husband's family?" I asked her tentatively.

"Not really," she said coldly.

"How can you not know?! What's wrong with you?" I even adopted a stern fatherly tone.

"Since my mother's death, my father-in-law and mother-in-law have been looking for matchmakers to introduce me to me for marriage, as if they wanted to send me
away as soon as possible, but they never forced me. Just last year... after I went back, I was very panicked.
I just wanted to find a host who wanted me as soon as possible. I didn't know who was proposing me, so I agreed immediately. I didn't expect that the marriage
actually took a year. Fortunately, in the end... my belly... didn't... grow bigger, otherwise... I'm afraid I wouldn't even
be a human being."

Hey! Sure enough it's because of me!

"Is it really impossible not to go back?"

"Mother has already caused my in-laws so much suffering, how can I bear to hurt them again?"

"But are you willing to accept this?"

"Whether I am or not, this is the fate of a daughter."

Her tone didn't sound like that of an eighteen-year-old girl, but rather like that of a seasoned, white-haired palace maid. Her words
left a lingering sense of sorrow, slowly seeping into my heart. The sorrowful footprints that Xiaoxue had left behind are now
being trodden step by step by Xiaoyu.

The intermittent whispers of Xiaoyu that reached my ears left me feeling utterly lost. Heartfelt conversations at night always
carry a sense of loneliness, and understanding the truth often brings sorrow. Like a guilty child, I
listened listlessly, caught between self-reproach and unease.

Then, Xiaoyu slowly turned to face me. We were face to face, our noses almost touching. I smelled
her sweet breath and saw the starlight in her eyes.

This scene felt familiar. Twenty years ago, Xiaoxue and I were in an air-raid shelter…

Xiaoyu looked into my eyes and gently stroked my face.

"Before Mother passed away, she kept talking about your past with her. She told me that my Father was an absolute
villain!"

Although I had long accepted that Xiaoyu was my daughter, I still couldn't completely rule out the possibility that she was my brother's child.
Until this moment, when Xiaoyu said it herself, I couldn't help but feel a strong surge of emotion.

The person sleeping next to me was my own daughter! My own
daughter with whom I had been intimate a year ago!

"She told me a lot about you. She said that you bullied her in the air-raid shelter, often staring blankly at her
body, and she also knew that you often spied on her after she took a bath!"

Being told all the shameful things I had done in my youth by my own daughter, I blushed and didn't know what to say.

"Mother also told me that my father has delicate features and a melancholy expression that makes him lovable. He's the kind of child who can do all sorts of bad things without
making angry. So... so it's true! My father is over forty years old this year, but he still has a
handsome face. He looks like a down-on-his-luck thirty-year-old, but his personality is like that of a sentimental, melancholic twenty-year-old..."

Xiaoyu's slender little hand stroked my face, checked my ears, and then traced
the shape An elusive emotion enveloped my whole body, and I felt a surge of excitement, as if I had been electrocuted.

"My parents' story is tragic, yet romantic. Everyone has their own idealized love story,
and my parents' story is Xiaoyu's childhood fantasy and hope.
How wonderful it would be to love passionately and unconditionally at least once in a lifetime! Since I was little, I've wanted to see if my father was the wicked man my mother described, the one who
bewitches Love stories are real after all! If I were my mother, I..." Xiaoyu's pupils shone with...
An unusual light shone through, and her alluring breath brushed against my face. I remembered
what had happened on this bed the winter before I left, and my heart trembled.

"Xiaoyu, I'm your father. And you, you're about to become someone else's wife." My mind was in turmoil.

"I know! I'll never have another chance for love in my life, and we, father and daughter, are
destined for hell! It's because I'm about to leave you, Father, that I'll be your Xiaoxue one more time, okay? Just
this once! There won't be a next time!"

Indeed, we, father and daughter, could never be reborn as humans. Worldly affairs had nothing to do with us anymore!
As I pondered this, before my thoughts could settle, Xiaoyu's lips were already firmly pressed against mine.

A year ago, on that night, I didn't know Xiaoyu's true identity. But now,
lying in bed with my eighteen-year-old biological daughter, our lips pressed together in a passionate kiss, it was a feeling I had never experienced before. My heart
trembled , every cell in my body roared intensely—not in pain, but in jubilation!

Go to hell! Be heretical! Never be reincarnated! Who says a sister-in-law and brother-in-law can't love each other? Who
says a father and daughter can't share shoes? It's the so-called worldly ethics and moral shackles that have plunged Xiaoxue and me
into an abyss. Xiaoxue's life is ruined, and so is my first half. Twenty years ago, I was so
resolute; today, twenty years later, all that's left is a precarious life and a tiny bit of time. What am I still
struggling for? Whether it's Xiaoyu, Xiaoxue, my daughter, or my sister-in-law, we
're an incestuous affair, so what! Can heaven control me?

With my mind made up, I turned and kissed Xiaoyu, my tongue slowly parting her teeth and invading her mouth. Xiaoyu
was startled at first, then slowly closed her eyes and relaxed her body, enjoying her father's French kiss.

While I licked my daughter's delicate tongue, my hands were also busy exploring her breasts. Xiaoyu's breasts weren't
large, but they were still high and firm, like little full bellies, full and firm, full of the unique texture of a developing girl
.

With her blouse undone, I kissed Xiaoyu's small mouth, leaving no spot untouched—her pink neck, collarbone, and shoulders.
Then, calmly and slowly, I admired the alluring lines of my daughter's half-naked upper body. Seeing Xiaoyu shyly close her eyes
and turn her face away, I lowered my head and gently tasted her already erect nipples, my tongue lingering and swirling around the cherry-like tips. Xiaoyu's
brows furrowed, as if in pain, yet also as if in ecstasy.

I kissed from her nipple to the base of her breast, then sought her armpit, deeply inhaling her rose-like, girlish fragrance. I gently licked and nibbled at her
sparse, grass-like armpit hair. Whether it was from ticklishness or shyness, Xiaoyu dodged left and right, preventing me from licking her. I could only
bury my face in her small breasts for comfort. Xiaoyu held my head tenderly, and we
rubbed our ears , our love tender and affectionate, our bodies entwined.

In the midst of our tenderness, I reached between Xiaoyu's legs. The girl's most private parts were being
caressed by a man's dirty hand. She instinctively clenched her legs, then slowly relaxed, fully revealing the restlessness and
unease .

I pressed down on Xiaoyu's slightly protruding mound with one hand, then squeezed it hard. Xiaoyu immediately shuddered
, curling up like a shrimp. I pulled down her trousers and inserted my middle finger into her tender crevice,
gently probing with each stroke. With each stroke, Xiaoyu trembled.

After a while, I pulled out my middle finger, which was covered in clumps of thin, sticky liquid. I put my finger in
my mouth ; it was the unique taste of my own daughter's sweet nectar, and I wanted to savor it.

Xiaoyu pulled my hand away: "No! It's dirty!"

"Xiaoyu's isn't dirty, it's fragrant and sweet, I want to eat it all up!" I spread Xiaoyu's legs,
which were already overflowing with moisture. I lowered my head and sucked and licked with all my might. Xiaoyu's whole body stiffened as I ate her
, her hands flailing wildly in confusion, moaning incoherently.

The wetter she became, the more I sucked, and the wetter she became, her private parts were already a vast ocean. At this point, Xiaoyu was a little out of her mind, her waist
and legs spasming and twitching, her eyes half-closed, only able to moan "No...no..."

I lifted Xiaoyu's dazed legs onto my shoulders, positioned my rock-hard member, and slowly succumbed to the
already overflowing honey-like fluids of my dream. My own flesh and blood were finally united, my organs intertwined, enveloped in
my daughter's warm, soft, slippery flesh. The transcendent, soul-stirring sensation was like ascending
to paradise , incomparable to any ordinary woman without blood ties.

Xiaoyu, jolted awake by my thrust, opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Does it hurt?" I asked tenderly.

"No," Xiaoyu smiled and shook her head, "but last year it hurt for two days!" She then giggled playfully
and shyly, before hugging me tightly.

Our tongues intertwined again. I held Xiaoyu close, my lower body slowly rubbing against hers, then
steadily thrusting in and out. Xiaoyu's waist swayed back and forth, trembling, responding to my thrusts.

The movements became faster and faster, Xiaoyu's juices splattering from deep within. Her face flushed red, her expression twitching as if she were both crying and laughing
, her breathing becoming increasingly rapid. I could have maintained this for a little longer, but I didn't want to suppress my primal
desires. I lowered Xiaoyu's legs, allowing our bodies to press completely together in an embrace. I held Xiaoyu tightly,
thrusting with all my might. Xiaoyu pressed her face against my shoulder, her fingers digging deep into my back muscles.

"Call me Dad!"

"Dad!"

"Call me again!"

"Dad...Dad!"

Seeing Xiaoyu's sad expression as she kept calling out "Dad," I realized that I was
defiling my own daughter! That feeling of defying heaven and humanity excited me beyond measure.

"Dad...Dad...Hehe...Dad...Dad...Hehe..."

Reaching the peak, I merged with Xiaoyu in spirit and body, inseparable, and
planted the seed of incest deep within her heart.

Although it wasn't our first time together, this was the first time I, as Xiaoyu's father, had completely possessed and owned
my own daughter, planting the seed of incest within my own flesh and blood. What father and daughter in the world could be as intimate as
we were ? I am absolutely certain that it's not because I love Xiaoxue, but because I truly love Xiaoyu. She is
Pandora's box filled with all the memories and secrets of Xiaoxue and me. She is the most precious
treasure . I want her and possess her from the bottom of my heart. This
precious daughter who has half of my body and half of Xiaoxue's body, I need nothing but Xiaoyu.

I lay panting on top of Xiaoyu, unwilling to leave her, but undeniably, I was getting on in years. After
ejaculating my penis involuntarily softened and withdrew from her. Still burning with desire, I had a sudden inspiration. I climbed up,
straddled Xiaoyu's head, and placed my limp penis in her mouth.

Xiaoyu stared in astonishment, looking at my face then at my penis, unsure what to do. After all, she was just
a naive, traditional woman from a respectable family; how could she know the pleasures of love between men and women?

"Xiaoyu, be good, put it in your mouth. Don't be afraid, every woman serves a man like this." I
was actually lying to my own daughter! How many respectable women would do such a thing? In fact,
even within the Eight Great Alleys, not all prostitutes were willing to do this. Only lower-ranking prostitutes wearing suggestive rings
would offer such lewd services.

Xiaoyu believed me, and her female instinct for obedience led her, half-frightened, to slowly take that ugly
thing into her mouth. Instantly, a hot, wet, tingling sensation spread through my penis, giving me unparalleled pleasure. At that
moment, my own daughter was tasting the very thing that gave birth to her, inhaling the
faint fishy smell emanating from her father's scrotum, stimulating her father's lust with her tongue—both vulgar and shameless, yet intoxicatingly pleasurable.

I thrust in and out of Xiaoyu's mouth, instructing her on how to lick it. Xiaoyu initially complied
shyly and clumsily, but gradually, driven by primal female desire, she began to actively and rhythmically suck and tease.
Stimulated by my daughter's most lewd techniques, my manhood quickly became erect again. I signaled Xiaoyu
to stop and turn over to lie face down. I entered her from behind and began to make love to my daughter once more.

I thrust and pounded from behind, my hands also busy reaching for Xiaoyu's swaying, beautiful breasts, and I lowered my head
to kiss her smooth, jade-like back. The incestuous act with her father, performed in an animalistic position, filled Xiaoyu with unbearable shame. She
buried her face in the blankets, enduring my thrusts. I wanted to thoroughly humiliate and discipline her. I grabbed her long, flowing
hair , pulling her face up, her open mouth emitting moans of "Oh...oh..."

I then grabbed her arms, lifting her entire upper body off the covers. Kneeling on the bed, she
and I shared only one point of contact, utterly powerless to resist my relentless assaults, her
cries of "Oh...oh...oh...oh...oh..." rising and falling.

With a final, powerful thrust, I released her, and Xiaoyu flew to the corner of the bed like a rag doll, her buttocks facing the sky, the
nectar she had accumulated shooting out from her vagina. Such a wondrous sight! I couldn't help but lower my head to inhale the
willow nectar. Xiaoyu, limp and powerless, could only utter two sharp sounds, letting me indulge
in the sensation of being freely inhaled by my father.

After laying Xiaoyu down on the bed like a doll, we resumed our usual face-to-face position for intercourse. At this moment
, Xiaoyu's skin was flushed and rosy, displaying a blissful ecstasy. The intoxicating fragrance emanating from her body was even
stronger, making her both beautiful and pitiful. I embraced her and kissed her passionately, then pulled her arms apart and began licking her areolas and armpits from left to right and then
from right to left. Xiaoyu opened her arms, generously allowing me to suckle her. At this moment, her
mouth was half-open, and her eyes looked incredibly alluring, displaying her pleasure and desire without any shame.

I moved my hips, rubbing and thrusting, swaying and rotating, constantly changing the direction and intensity of our intercourse, exploring
the most sensitive and moving places deep within Xiaoyu's heart. Suddenly, Xiaoyu let out a gasp. I pinpointed the point of
attack and struck with all my might. Xiaoyu's face contorted, and she gripped my arm tightly, tears of pleasure streaming down her face. I
drew concentrating my power and force on that one spot. With a final, all-out strike, I felt
the strongest spasms and contractions emanating from the depths of Xiaoyu's dream. The nectar gushing from her climax sprayed continuously from the crevices.
My manhood, deep within the dream, felt a violent impact like an earthquake or tsunami. Infected by this, I also reached my peak, ejaculating my sacred, incestuous seed with the most
exhilarating feeling.

Outside, frost and snow fell all night, while Xiaoyu and I entwined inside. Afterwards, we cuddled and played together.
After resting, she would use her mouth to revive me, and we would be joined together again. Throughout the night, I used
every position I had ever learned to make love with Xiaoyu. By the third time, she no longer needed to ask me to
revive her with her mouth. I said I was tired, and she even took the initiative to sit on top of me, swaying and twisting like a thirsty woman. In just one
night, I had trained my own daughter into a little prostitute. Time passed slowly. My back ached, my penis hurt
, and I even missed my climax, but I still couldn't stop. Father and daughter were intertwined in spirit until dawn. We were
both oblivious to the fact that we were stealing, and we were also oblivious to the fact that we were escaping.

The grand clock at the South City Station had already struck six. Bright sunlight
streamed . Soon, after the clock struck seven, the butler, Uncle Huai, would knock on the door with warm water for washing
. At that moment, I sat exhausted and weary on the edge of the bed. Xiao Yu, her naked body bathed in the morning light, was still
sucking on my genitals. I told her to stop, but she ignored me and continued sucking desperately.

"Okay, okay. Uncle Huai will be here soon," I said weakly.

Xiao Yu still ignored me and continued sucking. I felt warm drops of water dripping onto my lower abdomen,
more and more, until they even dripped down my genitals. I was speechless, my heart breaking.

After the last two drops of fluid were extracted from her seminal vesicles, Xiaoyu didn't even vomit. She returned to her room just before Uncle
Huai knocked on the door. We changed our clothes and left the room
as if nothing had happened, ate breakfast as if nothing had happened, and then headed out into the biting cold wind of a winter morning in Beiping, heading to the North City
Station .

A light, misty snow continued to fall on the streets. Looking ahead, the horizon was obscured by a hazy white fog where the sky met the ground
. The rickshaw arrived at the North Station. The station,
shrouded Perhaps because it was still early, the station was deserted; only
porters and rickshaw drivers in yellow uniforms were idle, and a few stalls were selling steaming hot snacks and breakfasts. I bought
a first-class ticket to Liaoning at the ticket office; the train would depart in half an hour.

Xiaoyu and I sat silently on a bench on the platform, surrounded by a white morning mist. The scenery was
so hazy, as if we were separated from the world by the fog, abandoned on its edge. Unfortunately, these two
lost souls, groping their way along this small path of life, will never be able to converge on the same line.
And when the morning mist dissipates, the two of us will be separated forever.

"Shall I go buy you something hot to eat on the train?" I asked, glancing at the light rain beside me.

"Don't you dare run away!"

Xiaoyu was already sobbing.

Soon, the train arrived, and we remained seated on the bench, motionless. Xiaoyu rested her head on my shoulder, her left hand
's fingers weaving between my right. We both had so much to say to each other, yet because of
this vast amount of information , we didn't know where to begin, or how much we could express.

Of all those words, the one I couldn't tell Xiaoyu was my promise and
vow as her man.

New black smoke rose from the train's chimney, and the engine room began adding fuel to prepare for the new journey. Hearing the train's whistle signaling its imminent
departure Xiaoyu gripped my hand even tighter.

This was the end of our journey; Xiaoyu and I would be forever separated. Time was running
out. I half-pushed, half-carried Xiaoyu onto the train. As soon as she boarded, she found a window seat, half her body
peering through the window, weeping as she gazed at me.

That one glance became their final farewell; any further lingering would only add to the sorrow. I suppressed
the agonizing pain in my heart and turned away without looking back. I thought of Xiaoyu still crying as she watched my retreating figure,
and a pang of heartache shot through me.

The train slowly pulled away.

Xiaoyu, farewell.

Xiaoxue, farewell.

My heart ached so much that I couldn't help but cover my face with my hands, close my eyes, and sob.

As I closed my eyes, Xiaoxue appeared before me again.

Xiaoxue sat coldly to the side on the pavilion, watching the pattering rain outside, her face full of sorrow and bitterness.

She stared blankly at the raindrops outside the pavilion. Suddenly, she stretched her hands out over the eaves,
catching the raindrops. Then she turned to me with pleading eyes, extending her rain-soaked hands
towards me…

“Xiaoyu!” I snapped my eyes open and turned around angrily.

My shout drowned out the surrounding noise. The men and women coming and going from all directions were startled, staring at me in
silence , including Xiaoyu, whose eyes never left me.

The train had slowly started to move. I took off running, catching up to Xiaoyu, who was still leaning out the window, and ran
alongside .

"Xiaoyu, I'm telling you, you're my woman! I won't allow you to marry any other man! You
'll always belong to me!" I shouted at Xiaoyu.

On the train, Xiaoyu covered her face and shook her head repeatedly, her emotions running high as she said, "No, no, it
's impossible..."

"I don't care! I'm telling you, I, Fang Yusheng, am a genuine villain! No matter
where you marry, I will come find you, I will find you, destroy your marriage, and take you away! I, Fang Yusheng, mean
what I say!"

The train was about to leave the platform, and I was extremely anxious. I continued to shout out my heartfelt words: "Xiaoyu, you
have no choice! No one else's happiness is more important than your own! You will have your own
love story!" "And you and I were destined for hell long ago, so what's there to worry about?
Why do you care about others? Don't care what others think of you; how others look at you has nothing to do with you! Back then, Xiaoxue
had the right to choose but resigned herself to her fate and gave up. What she couldn't do, you will do today! Come! Xiaoyu! Come back to my side!
Come with me!"

Hearing my confession, Xiaoyu, her eyelashes fluttering like raindrops, covered her face and nodded repeatedly. Although she didn't show it,
she was filled with joy. She was going all in! She grabbed her small leather bag and ran to the back of the carriage,
to the exit . But the train kept accelerating, and Xiaoyu stood at the exit, hesitant and afraid.

With just over ten feet to go before reaching the edge of the platform, I opened my arms to welcome Xiaoyu: "Xiaoyu, don't think about anything!
Look at me! Jump!"

Xiaoyu leaped out of the carriage and pounced into my arms. We fell to the ground, rolling and rolling
, doing more than ten tumbles before finally stopping at the edge of the platform.

I lay on the edge of the platform holding Xiaoyu, while she lay on top of me, holding me back. The surrounding scenery spun around us
, the world suddenly seemed so vast, the whole world revolving around us,
boundless and limitless .

Before we could even calm down, and ignoring our injuries, Xiaoyu and I kissed passionately on the platform.

A commotion erupted around the platform. Some gasped, others berated us for our indecent behavior, a few
applauded, but most stared in disbelief.

I wonder what they would think if they knew we were father and daughter?

The onlookers were chattering incessantly, making it unbearable. Xiaoyu and I stopped kissing and stood up. I grabbed
Xiaoyu and ran. The crowd we pushed through continued to shout insults:

"The world is going to the dogs! What kind of despicable couple are they?", "Kissing in broad daylight in the street, they're like mothers who have no mothers
!", "An old man and a young girl, what kind of relationship do they have?"

A barrage of vile insults rose and fell, but amidst the curses, I heard someone
offer a blessing:

"You've got guts! Keep it up!"

As we moved away from the crowd, one last sentence drifted into our ears from behind:

"They're a perfect match!"

I turned around and smiled at Xiaoyu. I pulled Xiaoyu along, running
ahead , just like when we met at the student demonstration yesterday. It felt so sweet. The whole view
was so clear, the world so vast, seemingly infinitely far away, yet within reach. We
were like a pair of wanted thieves, a male and female, I carried her away through the wilderness, adrift in the wind, escaping this
absurd world, running to the ends of the earth, to spend the rest of our lives together.
[The End] After Xiaoyu
gave up returning to Liaoning, I wrote a letter to the Huo family explaining the situation and apologizing. I stated that Xiaoyu would go
back to her biological father, and that Xiaoyu and I would wander the world to avoid being found by the Huo family.

Not long after, the country's regime changed, and a large number of refugees fled to Hong Kong, Taiwan, Macau, and other Southeast Asian
countries in the south for refuge. Taking advantage of this opportunity, I took Xiaoyu to Hong Kong, the place where I studied in my youth.
Xiaoyu and I became Hong Kong citizens as refugees. Xiaoyu, who had just registered her citizenship with a random identity, had no legal
relationship with me. We officially registered our marriage in Hong Kong and became a legal couple. I never dreamed that Xiaoyu and I,
father and daughter, could legally register as husband and wife and settle down in Hong Kong where no one knew us. My
life of wandering came to an end at this moment.

The following year, Xiaoyu became pregnant. The night before her delivery, I saw Xiaoxue in my dream. She appeared in my dream for the first time in
bright sunlight, smiling happily at me. The next day, Xiaoyu gave birth to a daughter,
whom I named Fang Xiaoxue.

This was the last time I saw Xiaoxue. After that, Xiaoxue never appeared in my dreams again.
[A Lifetime of Love. The End.]

[Appendix]

Snow. Still. Drifting.

On the train back to Beijing, I remained silent, silently perplexed by the purpose of this trip.

I hadn't originally planned to return to my ancestral home in Beiping. After finishing my business in Tianjin, I don't know why I didn't
head back to Guangzhou, but instead transferred to Beiping, which I had left more than ten years ago. Why did I do this? I couldn't even figure it out myself
.

However, when I got off at the East Station and saw the long corridor lined with locust trees and old wisteria,
a feeling of "home" suddenly welled up inside me. Even though there were only ten days left until the winter solstice, with frost and snow already falling and the cold biting,
this scene still brought a touch of warmth to my swollen clothes.

But what did that feeling of "home" really mean to me? Since my father passed away, I've
been all alone! Now middle-aged, without parents, siblings, family, wife, or
children, I wander aimlessly across the country. "Home," "ancestral home"—these things
are truly irrelevant to me now.

"Blood ties"? Thinking of this, I couldn't help but feel ashamed. When my father passed away that year, I, the unfilial son,
was away and couldn't get away. My uncle from Nancheng rushed over to handle the funeral arrangements
. I never felt the slightest bit guilty for not being able to fulfill my filial duties because of work. So it would be a stretch to say that my family is people who value family ties. Rather than insisting
on it affection for family, it's more accurate to say it's longing for Xiaoxue. Apart from her, I have
no attachment to Beiping whatsoever.

"Yusheng, why are you back so late? Master is very angry! Come quickly, change your clothes and come into the inner courtyard for dinner!"

I hadn't thought of Xiaoxue for many years, but now, as I suddenly turned around, the warm
gaze once again surfaced in my mind. Her every smile, her innocent eyes, her purity, her straightforwardness—all these
unexpectedly flooded my mind again. Finally, the thought of her current whereabouts brought another pang of heartache.

My thoughts began to swirl. The rickshaw had reached Jizhao Hutong, and I saw the gate of my old home. I vaguely saw the figure of
a . Time seemed to flow backward; Xiaoxue was standing at the gate of my ancestral home, waiting for me to return!

I thought I was starting to lose my mind, but as the scenery gradually became clearer, the faint figure remained. It wasn't
a hallucination, nor a memory. My heart began to pound, and my whole body tensed. Xiaoxue, could it really be
you?

Reaching the gate, my tension subsided, but a wave of loss washed over me. The woman before me wasn't welcoming me
home; she was simply sweeping snow at the gate. She was barely twenty, pretty and charming, completely
different .

"Who are you? Do you know this is the Fang family mansion?" Before I could even ask who she was,
she hurled insults at me.

"Then...who are you? I don't know you. Where is...Uncle Huai, the steward?"
The girl's rudeness left me speechless, unable to respond.

"Oh! You know Uncle Huai? You are...?"

"I am Fang Yusheng, Fang Yusheng of the Fang family!" Returning to my ancestral home felt like being interrogated; I couldn't help but feel angry
.

Upon hearing my name, the girl was momentarily speechless, like a stunned fool. However, a
subtle change appeared in her eyes, a change that vanished in an instant, its meaning beyond my comprehension.

Seeing her lower her head and remain silent, I asked her again, "What is your relationship to Uncle Huai? Where is Uncle Huai?"

"I...I...I'm Uncle Huai's...distant relative. He went back to his hometown on business, so I'm temporarily managing this place for him."
The girl blushed and lowered her head, her eyes flickering uncertainly. It turned out she was a silly girl! Only then did I take a good look at her.
The girl in front of me had a braided ponytail, her eyes were like dots of dark ink, her lips were like ripe peaches,
and her features were beautiful but with a hint of melancholy. Her carefree appearance was like
a forest elf with two transparent wings from Western mythology, fallen to earth. This feeling seemed familiar, but I didn't know where I had seen her before. She had fair skin and
a lovable ; she seemed more like a city girl.

"I...I'm sorry! Mr. Fang, I didn't know you'd come here. Uncle Huai...I heard you haven't
been back for over ten years, so..."

"It's alright. Hey! What's your name?"

"I...my name is...Fang..." The girl was surprisingly shy.

"Fang? Your name is Fang?"

"Yes...just call me Xiao Fang!...Come on! Let me help you with your luggage, sir."

"No need, I can do it myself."

It was already dark when I returned to my hometown. I settled into my room, feeling utterly exhausted, and
fell asleep .

"Sir?" Xiao Fang's voice came from outside the room.

"Xiao Fang? What is it?"

"It's late. I've prepared hot water. Sir, you can go take a bath now."

"Oh? I don't want to bathe right now. You don't need to serve me. Just wash up and rest!"

"Then... then I won't disturb you any longer."

After Xiao Fang left, I suddenly felt wide awake. I lay on the bed I hadn't slept on for over ten years,
staring blankly at the late winter night sky outside the window. The bright moon was exactly the same as it had been years ago, but everything had changed. I was now
over forty , no longer the young man

I once was... "Yu Sheng, we're about the same age. Don't call me sister-in-law, call me Xiao Xue. We're all young people now..."

Xiao Xue, I was twenty-seven when I left here, and you were thirty. Soon after, you returned to your maternal family home. Now
we're forty-five! If you really came back, would you still recognize me?

Unable to fall asleep, I got up listlessly and went for a walk in the outer courtyard. Upon reaching the pavilion, I was surprised to find the two jujube trees
still there. Whether they were the same ones from years ago was unknown, but together with the grape trellis next door, they still
looked charming. I reminisced about the past, recalling the various furnishings of my home, and leisurely lifted the curtain to enter the inner courtyard.
As I walked through the corridor, I heard the sound of water being poured from the neighboring room. I couldn't help but peek through the crack in the door, and
there, a graceful, naked body, was bathing. I was stunned. It was Xiao Fang! She

looked to be about fifteen or sixteen years old. When we met at the gate this morning, her clever yet melancholic appearance
had already given me an inexplicable fondness. Now, seeing her snow-white naked body, I felt an irresistible attraction.
Gravity. Fair, delicate skin accentuated her small, perky breasts; a slender waist and shapely legs framed
an unsightly buttocks—a beautiful virgin's body. Peeping at a young girl bathing was immoral, but this was
n't my first time. I suddenly remembered that twenty years ago, this was my only source of amusement.

Because my mother died early, Xiaoxue was the only woman in our family. Due to the traditional preference for sons
, Xiaoxue always served us all first, only bathing at night. Every night, in the quiet of the night
, I couldn't resist the temptation of the gurgling water and would quietly sneak into the bathroom's courtyard to peep at Xiaoxue! Each time afterward, I
told myself it was the last time, yet the second night I couldn't resist Xiaoxue's alluring body. Those
full breasts, that patch of grass in her hidden, mysterious cave—it represented all my
desires .

Even normally, my gaze was constantly fixed on Xiaoxue's figure, let alone when she was naked
. Even though she was my sister-in-law.

"Yusheng, please don't stare at me like that all the time! People will misunderstand!"

Misunderstand? I don't care about misunderstandings! And you knew from the start that it wasn't a misunderstanding! You
must , because to me, your words were an implication! I knew that doing this would hurt you, and if
fate allowed me to choose again, I believe the outcome would still be the same! Who cares if the ending is eternal damnation!

My thoughts lingered between the temptations of the past and the present. Suddenly, the woman in front of me turned her back and bent over.
Water droplets slid down her body, tracing the beautiful contours of her breasts and outlining their alluring lines. The droplets gathered at the tips of her nipples and then fell one by one. The sound of the water droplets hitting the ground resonated powerfully
within me . What stunned me even more was that her raised, virgin vulva was directly facing me. The paradise I'd always dreamed of The damp, soft grass parted gently on either side, clinging tightly to her vulva, the clear opening slightly ajar, revealing that bright red, glistening peach. This rekindled the desire I'd harbored for Xiaoxue for over a decade. I couldn't distinguish whether it was Xiaofang or Xiaoxue before me; I felt my blood rushing, my heart pounding fiercely. As I uncontrollably took a step forward, she seemed to sense something! "What? Who's there?" Xiaoxue asked, turning around. "What? Who's there?" Xiaofang asked, turning around. I snapped out of my daze, rushed back to my room, and wrapped myself tightly in the thick quilt, my heart pounding for a long time . "Xiaoxue, this is the last time!" When I woke up the next morning, Xiaofang seemed normal, and I, of course, acted as if nothing had happened, not mentioning my blunder the previous night. With my worries at ease, I went to my father's and brother's graves early in the morning to pay my respects, and Xiaofang came along . She said that the heavy work like weeding should be done by her. Arriving at Guangyi Garden in Miaoguang Pavilion, I burned the paper money and clothes I had bought from the paper shop for my father and brother. Father! I'm sorry! Your son is unfilial! All these years, I haven't even lit a single stick of incense at your grave. I haven't preserved the family business, nor have I had any descendants to carry on the Fang family line. But I really can't stay here. I can't face everything I've been here before. I have no choice, Father, please forgive me. As I pondered, a wave of sorrow washed over me, and my nose began to whimper. I looked up at the sky, took a deep breath , stretched casually, and gazed around. Suddenly, my eyes widened, my pupils dilated, and my blood seemed to freeze instantly. Unable to believe what I was seeing, I took trembling steps and approached a tombstone not far from me . It read—"Tomb of Xiaoxue of the Huo Family of Fangmen!" "Yusheng, I'm Xue (Snow), you're Yu (Rain), our names complement each other! But don't misunderstand, I only mean our names!" " Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and he never asks!" "Do you like little girls? If I have a daughter in the future, can we name her Xiaoyu (Little Rain)?" " Is it special for a woman to like reading Lu Sao's works? I don't think so. I'm just an ordinary woman! Also, I'm your sister-in-law..." " Yusheng, if you do this again, I'm going to tell your brother!" " Yusheng, you can't think like that anymore! Do you understand? We have no future!" " Yusheng, Yusheng..." "Yusheng..." Xiao...Xiaoxue, so you no longer exist in this world! Why did you have to die? Why did you die? Why were you so heartless to leave me behind? It turns out that I've always been the only one living a meaningless life in this boring world! The world is vast and boundless. Since the snow has vanished, why should the rain remain in this world? "Sir? Sir..." I don't know how long it took, but Xiaofang's calls brought me back to reality. Only then did I realize that I was in the main house of my ancestral home. The setting sun cast shadows outside, and it was already dusk. From this morning until now, apart from remembering that I had cried bitterly at Xiaoxue's grave, I could . "Sir, what do you think?" Xiaofang was beside me, her face also filled with sorrow. "It's nothing serious now." She probably brought me home when I was temporarily out of my mind. But she didn't say, and I didn't want to ask. "Yes, sir, who was the woman in that grave this morning…?" Xiaofang asked tentatively. "Her?…She…is my sister-in-law." "Sister-in-law? But you seemed very sad just now, sir." "Yes! I was really sad! Because…she was the woman I loved most in my life!" "What? Then…but…" She hesitated. "But she's my sister-in-law! Although it shouldn't be, I love her! I still love her to this day!" "Um…sir, can you tell Xiaofang about your past with her?" She fiddled with her long braid, asking somewhat awkwardly. The curious girl's question was irresistible. I was momentarily disoriented; the scene before me gradually turned hazy and yellowish . The room seemed distorted, then stretched out endlessly, finally becoming a long, winding passage leading to the other side of time… Twenty years ago, in that cold winter, Huo Xiaoxue, true to her name, stepped into the Fang family's gate amidst a flurry of snowflakes, becoming her brother's wife. She came from a scholarly family in Shenyang, educated in modern ways, possessing a refined and elegant beauty.

Her demeanor was extraordinary. My brother met Xiaoxue by chance while doing business in the area. He was
captivated by her beauty and pursued her relentlessly for many years before finally winning her heart and leading to their marriage.

At the time, I was three years younger than her. Watching this ethereal woman, like a fairy descended from heaven, enter our home, my impulsive and fragile
young heart was deeply shaken. She was like a winged forest fairy from the mortal world,
completely different from the traditional and superficial worldly girls I had known before.

"Yusheng, your brother is often away on business, and I'm so lonely. Could you keep me company? Oh
, and we're about the same age, don't call me sister-in-law anymore, call me Xiaoxue. We're both young people..."

She wanted me to call her Xiaoxue! Besides my brother, I was the only one I could call her by her name! When my brother wasn't home
, I was inseparable from her. Just seeing her graceful figure beside me made me
happy . When he was home, it felt like an eternity.

"Yusheng, actually, your brother and I aren't a good match. He never knows what I'm thinking, and
he asks. I know he treats me well, but… but I don't need that…"

One melancholic late autumn, she gazed at the distant rosy sunset in the pavilion and confided to me softly. My brother was just
a vulgar merchant, ten years older than her. He wasn't right for her! He wasn't good enough for her! She was dissatisfied;
she was hinting at something! At this moment, she had feelings for me! I knew!

"Yusheng, I am Snow, you are Rain, our names complement each other! But don't misunderstand, I only mean
our names !"

I am Rain, she is Snow, we are a match made in heaven! I understand! I understand what she means! I
knew what to do!

"If you do that again, I'll tell your brother! Yusheng, I'm your sister-in-law
!"

That time, she slapped me hard! She was making her stance clear, telling me she was a
traditional, law-abiding woman, but she didn't say she didn't love me! She didn't say she didn't love me!

And I, I'm definitely not a respectable person. One early spring evening, when it was just the two of us at home, I
, slightly drunk, forced my way into Xiaoxue's bedroom, pushed her down onto the bed, and kissed her lips, her
earlobes, and her neck wildly! Xiaoxue kept crying and screaming. She hit me, she cursed me, but this couldn't stop my
violation .

Tearing open the pink blouse, a pair of glistening, snow-white breasts were right before me. The beautiful flesh before me was the
unattainable hope I had yearned for for years. I buried my face in her breasts seeking solace, then frantically sucked on
those two rosy nipples.

"No! Yusheng, don't do this! I'm your sister-in-law! Ah!" Xiaoxue had made a mistake. The words "sister-in-law"
now only amplified the stimulation! All those unconventional words had transformed into boundless
motivation. I wanted to have sex with my sister-in-law! I wanted to defy that damned morality! I wanted to defy this damned fate!

When Xiaoxue and I became one, her cries were indistinguishable from sobs or moans, but she was
holding me tightly! Xiaoxue held me close! Her legs clung tightly to my waist, and I
released myself inside her in this wild and chaotic climax! I wanted to bury a part of my body deep within Xiaoxue's heart,
to imprint my mark on her body and soul, to make her my woman, to make her belong to me for all eternity!

"Yusheng! What are you doing, you beast? She's your sister-in-law! Are you even human? I'll beat you to death, you
inhuman beast..."

When the truth came out, I was constantly beaten and verbally abused by my brother. But I didn't resist, nor did
I defend myself. I didn't regret anything I had done. But when I saw Xiaoxue standing there, tears streaming down her face, my
heart ached ! Xiaoxue, I'm sorry! But this was necessary, otherwise, as you said, we would have no future.

"Stop! Feng Yang, don't hit him anymore! No... he didn't force me!"

When I was beaten to the point of near death, she, who had remained silent throughout, suddenly stepped forward to stop her husband.
Xiao Xue was speaking up for me! I didn't know if she was sincere or just trying to save me; at that moment, I felt only silent gratitude and a secret
joy. Xiao Xue had finally taken the first step for me! If we could just overcome this hurdle and take this step, a bright future
would lie ahead. But I never imagined that what seemed like the beginning of hope would turn into an irrecoverable end.

Regarding my brother's suicide, my father only said one last thing to me: "Go! I never
want to see you again in this life!"

The suddenness of the events, the cruel manipulation of fate, was unbearable and unacceptable to me. I was just
pursuing my own happiness! What was wrong with that? Why did my brother have to die? Why did my father no longer acknowledge me as his son? And
why did Xiaoxue return to her hometown of Shenyang? Why would she refuse to see me again? It wasn't

until many years later, after countless changes in the world and life experiences, that I understood everything and realized
the mistakes and sins I had committed. By then, my father had just passed away, and Xiaoxue's family had
vanished without a trace. Even with repentance, I couldn't make amends for the people I had hurt.

I always thought that one day I would meet Xiaoxue again, and I would make amends to her. I would ask her to forgive me
and to resolve the unresolved question in her heart about whether she had ever loved me. But only today, when I learned she was no longer
alive, did I realize that Xiaoxue and I had long been separated by death…

In the early hours of the morning, the clock ticked relentlessly, unable to drown out the howling wind and snow outside. The past was hazy,
old feelings lingered; after recalling them, Xiaofang and I sat silently, unable to utter a single word.

“Sir, do you still think about Xiaoxue?” After what seemed like an eternity, Xiaofang finally broke the silence.
The heaviness in her eyes was no less than mine.

“Of course I do! Even now, she remains in my heart, influencing my life, influencing my destiny.
I can't let go of the past, I can't start over. How can I not think about her?”

“But last night…”

Xiaofang’s suspicious gaze suddenly swept over me sharply. I froze. Last night I had been spying on her while she showered; she
knew all along!

"Xiaoxue couldn't bear the psychological and practical burdens
of . She died because of you, and yet you think about women every day!
What have you ever done for Xiaoxue?" Xiaofang's face flushed as she spoke softly, followed by a sigh.

I am a forty-five-year-old middle-aged man. Over the years, I have wandered the world making a living, lonely and homeless, living a nomadic life.
Of course, I have had bed partners everywhere, but I would never admit it outside of brothels. However, the young girl in front of me saw right through me.
I was overwhelmed with shame. Yes! I ruined Xiaoxue's life, yet over the years I'd been intimate with countless women. I
said I regretted it, but what had I done for Xiaoxue? What had I done for the people I'd hurt?

"Last...last night I'm so sorry! But...last night you reminded me of Xiaoxue, your back view was...like hers!"
Only then did I remember the ethereal feeling Xiaofang had given me, exactly the same feeling Xiaoxue had given me back then!

Xiaofang trembled slightly upon hearing my words, then stared blankly at me. Her eyes
revealed the same subtle change that had appeared at the gate yesterday, but at this moment, I had no heart to care.

Feeling utterly ashamed, I silently left the main house, went into the inner courtyard, picked up the old wine my father had always treasured, and drank it.
I didn't know what else to do! I couldn't face myself! I couldn't face Xiaoxue, who died for me!

I don't know how much strong liquor I'd drunk; my head began to spin, and the surrounding scenery swayed. Just then, the door
creaked open, and a woman in a pink nightgown stood before me. I remembered—it was Xiaoxue's nightgown from back then!

"Xiao...Xiaofang? What are you doing?" My vision was too blurry to make a definite judgment.

"I just want you to know that I truly loved you back then!" she said calmly.

The wind and snow outside howled incessantly, the wind lashing against the paper windows, muffled and suffocating, as if about to tear them apart.
Time to freeze in that precarious moment. I could no longer contain my excitement; I rushed forward and embraced her,
kissing her passionately!

"Xiaoxue! Forgive me! I beg you! Forgive me!"

I slipped my tongue into her mouth and licked her. She trembled slightly at first, then closed her eyes, enjoying the teasing stimulation of my
tongue . When I felt her body begin to go limp and tremble, I carried her to my room, placed her on the bed,
took off her pink nightgown, and then re-examined this long-lost delicate body. My tongue, earlobes, pink neck, shoulders, armpits,
breasts, and then her two cherry nipples, I sealed them with a deep kiss. By this time, her whole body was weak, she moaned softly, and
her vagina was already overflowing with desire. She was like a little girl who didn't understand anything, her eyes tightly closed,
gently stroking me with her trembling little hands.

I pressed myself against her, aiming my penis at her clitoris, slowly inserting the head. Though she was in great pain,
constantly crying and whimpering, she opened her alluring eyes, gazing at me with tender affection, embracing me, her legs wrapped tightly around my
waist, letting me thrust wildly. My consciousness was hazy, my state frenzied, constantly turning her over and over, using
different positions to make love to her. Years of agonizing pain were released in this moment. I wanted to be one with Xiaoxue forever
, never to be separated again in this life!

"Xiaoxue! I love you! Xiaoxue! Don't leave me again!..."

She hugged me tightly, kissing me passionately. We thrust and responded to each other,
finally reaching a blissful climax. More than ten years of pent-up desire finally erupted within her, gushing wildly
. It felt as if all the moisture in my body had been drained, then wave after wave poured into her womb
until the last drop of semen was squeezed out. After pouring all my passion and desire into her, I felt completely
exhausted, and I held her as we slowly drifted off to sleep.

When I opened my eyes to the morning sun, I found myself lying naked in bed!
Xiao Fang was no longer beside me. Besides my clothes, a set of pink pajamas lay on the bedside.
After , I thought of the warmth and tenderness of last night, and I was filled with regret! Why would Xiao Fang do this?

I got dressed and searched the entire house, but Xiao Fang was nowhere to be found. I gradually sensed something was
amiss Where had she gone? How did she know Xiao Xue's clothes? How did she know Xiao Xue's feelings?
Who was she?

I searched every street and alley in the city, but still couldn't find Xiao Fang. Finally, I went to Uncle Huai's old house, hoping she was
there . But instead of Xiao Fang, I found Uncle Huai!

"Ah! Second Young Master! Is it really Second Young Master? You're finally back!"

"Uncle Huai! Didn't you go back to your hometown on business?"

"Who said I went back to my hometown? Miss Fang is here. She comes back every year on the anniversaries of the Old Master and Eldest Young Mistress's deaths. She wants to
live alone in the main house, so I'm staying at the old residence for a while."

"Miss Fang? Which Miss Fang?"

"Your relative, Miss Fang! Haven't you seen her? She's in the main house!"

"I don't have any relatives who are related to Miss Fang!"

"How could you not? She said she's your cousin! She was the one who brought Eldest Young Mistress back for her burial that year!
How could she not be your relative?"

"Uncle Huai, that Miss Fang…you don't mean Xiao Fang, do you?"

"Xiao Fang? No! Her name isn't Xiao Fang! Her surname is just Fang. I remember, she said her name was—
Fang Xiao Yu!"

My forehead felt like it had been hit hard, my body felt like it had fallen into a dark abyss. A
face , a name I couldn't forget—they belonged to the same person, and I couldn't even recognize her when we met.
Xiao Yu, you are Xiao Xue's messenger sent from heaven, bringing me an answer I've waited for over twenty years,
untying heart. You actually knew about Xiao Xue and me all along; you were always testing my
feelings for Xiao Xue, but why were you so foolish? To sacrifice yourself for someone who has been cast into hell and will never be reincarnated!
To give ! Back then, I harmed Xiaoxue; now I harm Xiaoyu, burdening me once again with an irreparable sin. Even
knowing Xiaoxue's feelings from back then, what difference does it make?

Now I'm on the train returning south, gazing at the swirling snow, overwhelmed with emotion. It turns out, people don't truly die
! They just change slightly in the next generation. Xiaoxue, you vanished from this world, yet another version
of you has unknowingly entered my dreams again. But no matter how hard I try, I can't find Xiaoyu,
and I have a vague feeling that we will never meet again in this life. Xiaoyu, I have no more desires. I only hope that wherever you are, in
the east, west, south, or north, may the falling snow bring me your message, letting me know that you
are still well in some corner of this world. Xiaoxue, may your spirit in heaven, like the falling snowflakes, protect and bless Xiaoyu
, ensuring her eternal happiness.

"Yusheng, I am snow, you are rain. If I have a daughter in the future, may I name her Xiaoyu?"

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A love that shook half a lifetime

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