The inner turmoil of a cuckold (Part 2)

Because I heard my parents having sex when I was a teenager, my sexual desires grew stronger and I became more and more curious. I often looked for novels to read, and occasionally I would come across cuckoldry novels (at that time I had not yet developed an interest in cuckoldry).
After graduating in 2010 and starting work, I would occasionally go to an internet cafe and rent a private room to watch porn. Later, I met my current wife online, let's call her Xiao Z. At the time, Xiao Z was in school, and we often chatted online when we had free time. She was a freshman in college and quite naive. After we had known each other for a long time, I asked her to meet up. Because we had been chatting online for so long, it felt like we had known each other for ages when we met. I hugged her and kissed her (she later said that it was her first kiss). After that, we continued to chat online as usual, sometimes touching on some erotic topics. Later, we started calling each other husband and wife. Later, I asked her out again on the weekend and rented a private room at an internet cafe near the school for the whole night. In the room, I kissed her and touched her breasts, but she wouldn't let me touch her genitals. After we met more often, she noticed that I wanted her every time we met. Later, we had sex for the first time in a hotel. She was still a virgin. After that, we would meet up on weekends and have sex in hotels. This continued for more than a year, but she was never really interested in sex. Perhaps due to our differing values, I've always been rather reserved.
Later, due to other reasons, we argued and contacted each other less, but we remained entangled. During summer vacation, she worked at a restaurant. A security guard there was very caring towards her, always looking after her. Perhaps because we had argued and contacted each other less, she and the security guard were in more contact. He would often buy her milk tea, hamburgers, etc. At the time, Xiao Z treated him like an older brother. Xiao Z would also tell me that a security guard was taking good care of her. I felt that men don't offer themselves to you for no reason; they all have ulterior motives. Xiao Z even said that if you treat someone like that, you'll only think with your lower body. I felt that Xiao Z was quite upright, so I didn't think too much about it. Actually, I often read cuckoldry novels like "Helping My Wife Have an Affair," and I fantasized about what would happen if Xiao Z were to be with someone else. Would she moan wildly under a man? Would she fantasize about masturbating when we weren't together? At the time, I felt that being with someone else was more exciting than being with myself. Later, when Xiao Z's summer job was ending, she treated the security guard to a meal to thank him for taking care of her. After the meal, he said he had something to give Xiao Z and asked her to go to his apartment (a rented room) to pick it up. At the apartment, the security guard raped Xiao Z. Xiao Z was worried about her reputation and didn't tell anyone. Later, the security guard threatened Xiao Z, saying he wanted to sleep with her again and would tell her boyfriend (who was talking about me) if she didn't agree. Xiao Z didn't agree and said he would call the police if he contacted her again. Normally, when I called Xiao Z, she would answer quickly or call me back, but that day, from 1 pm to 4 pm, I called her many times without her answering. I had a bad feeling. Xiao Z finally called after 4 pm, saying she had treated the security guard to a meal and forgot her phone. I felt something was wrong, so I asked her out that night. To be continued…

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The inner turmoil of a cuckold (Part 2)

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