[Longing for You: Remembering Jinshan] [Author: A Commoner] [The End]

I'm at a loss for words, so let's start from 2009. I wasn't married then, and I enjoyed surfing the internet, playing an online game. There, I met a woman more unforgettable than my first love—Ya. She's not the main character of this story, but if I include her, it's more of a romance, though she'll appear in various parts of the narrative.
Before playing the online game, I met the female protagonist of this story—Yan.
She was from Zhenjiang, around 30 years old, married, her husband frequently away on business, and had a 4-year-old daughter.
I consider myself quite eloquent, the kind who knows how to make women happy. I had many QQ friends, so I only occasionally "teased" Yan when I was feeling down. I remember when I was unhappy, "teasing" basically meant making light of things with dirty jokes.
Because I knew she was married, I could talk to her more casually, and teasing her was quite enjoyable. Sometimes we'd talk about myself, the joys and sorrows of online dating, and so on. The person I talked to was the aforementioned Ya.
I was quite sincere in my feelings, and she seemed to particularly enjoy listening to my stories with Ya. When she heard about our arguments, she would listen intently with a slight frown, and I would wholeheartedly recount our joys and sorrows.
Sometimes, when I got too sentimental, I would say, "Let's not talk about this anymore, come and tease me, give me a little kiss." She would always laugh and call me a "little rascal," and seeing her expression would always inexplicably make me happy.
Time slowly passed, and it was 2010.
I rarely chatted with Yan anymore; sometimes we wouldn't speak for a month or two. She would sometimes ask how things were going with Ya.
When our online romance was in full swing, I would tell her about all the sweet moments we shared in the game, all the fun scenes. Looking back now, I realize that back then, she always looked at me with a very content expression when we video chatted. We used YY (a voice chat software) for games, and for group chats, sometimes we would take turns singing.
My voice is very nice, and I sing quite gently, haha (that's what others say, not me being narcissistic). When I happened to see her online, I would tell her where I was (men like to show off, after all). She would listen quietly, never speaking on her mic, only telling me on QQ when she was sleeping that she was asleep and I should go to sleep early.
Later, my feelings for Ya deepened, and I wanted to take our online relationship into real life.
Finally, I found out that Ya was also married. I remember being devastated when I confirmed this, and I talked to Yan all night.
I remember that time I kept telling Yan about my story with Ya during the video call, and she quietly kept me company the whole time.
Ya is from Sichuan. In June 2010, I went to Sichuan, we met, and we had sex. After that, we broke up. During this time, Yan kept chatting with me; she knew about our progress.
However, losing Ya left me feeling empty online. I started playing online games with Yan, and later I found out that she also played the online game I played, just to experience everything I had told her about in the game. I happily asked her if she liked me, and she didn't deny it.
Later, heartbroken, I gradually gave up that game and started focusing on YY (a Chinese voice chat platform), mainly for singing. I took Yan to various guilds and started making friends on YY. Yan appeared as my wife, and I gradually grew to like her more and more. Our videos became more and more frequent, longer and less innocent.
With my silver tongue, I kept making requests, asking to see this and that. She slowly complied with my requests, revealing herself piece by piece, not just in one video, but each time revealing more and more.
Every time I saw her slightly furrowed brows but still fulfilling my requests, I felt a sense of satisfaction, happiness, and pleasure.
One time, while watching, I noticed my penis was hard, so I asked her if she wanted to watch. Her face turned red immediately (actually, you couldn't see her blushing in the video; she told me later).
She didn't dare to watch that time, but I remembered it. From then on, I would deliberately say that my penis was hard and ask if she wanted to watch. This had become our closing remark at the end of every video call, but that time, when I said it again, she giggled, "You little rascal, I know you're all talk and no action." This was a matter of pride for me, so I had to let her see it. But embarrassingly, I wasn't actually hard; I was just teasing her. She really dared to look? What to do? I said, "Sure, let me see your little slut." Before that, I'd only ever seen her breasts, never her genitals. She spat and laughed, "Dream on!" I clearly remember that when she said that, there was something different in her eyes, a hint of desire. I chuckled, thinking she was probably more interested today. That's normal; she's always being seduced by my dirty talk, and her husband isn't home often, so she's bound to want it sometimes.
So I started showering her with sweet words. Women like to hear nice things at times like this. What I said wasn't entirely false, just much more cheesy than usual.
Finally, she succumbed. Because of the video, I saw it then, but it was completely dark; I could only see her pubic hair and vulva. She wouldn't spread her legs too wide, so I couldn't see anything clearly. I told her to shine her phone's light on it, but she absolutely refused. (Yan's vulva had a clitoris-like feel, with very plump labia majora—a very full vulva. This is what I saw later.) Then she quickly adjusted the video and mentioned me. I wasn't going to back down. When I saw her pubic hair, my penis was rock hard. I stood up, and my penis was right in front of the video. I'm not being narcissistic, but I'm quite well-endowed (about ten women have said this, haha). Because of the video angle, my penis was very close to the screen.
We like to fill the screen with video chat. Imagine a huge glans blocking the video, and the computer screen filled with images—it's a very shocking sight, haha. I remember very clearly her mouth opening in surprise when she saw it. Then the video call was quickly cut off. I checked, and my penis was still hard. I started repeatedly trying to video call her, but she wouldn't answer. I kept telling her, "You made my penis hard, you have to take responsibility."
After about ten attempts, she finally reconnected, but the problem was that she had turned off the room lights. I could only see the light from the monitor, nothing else. I was annoyed and said, "What's the point of this?" But then I thought, "There's a benefit to turning it off. She's more open in the dark." I got excited again and started teasing her again.
"Baby, do you like big dicks?"
"Pah!"
"I love your little pussy so much, it feels like it matches my big dick perfectly." "..."
"Baby, my dick is so hard, I really want to fuck you!"
"..."
"Baby, are you touching your little pussy?"
"No!"
"Touch it, it's definitely wet." "
I didn't wash my hands, it's so dirty."
"Your pussy is wet, just wash it in your pussy and it'll be clean." She stopped talking, and I started seducing her. I mentioned before that my voice is very nice, so I started whispering into the microphone, saying all sorts of things about how much I love her, etc. Slowly, I heard very low moans coming from her side. I knew she was masturbating, so I worked even harder. The rest is omitted; I won't go into details. Those with experience should know what I mean, and those without shouldn't blame me. I don't want to type out the recollections here… After it was over, she wouldn't answer me no matter how much I called her. She just typed that she was going to wash up. I happily lit a cigarette and waited for her to come back. When she returned, I asked her directly, "Baby, did you enjoy it?" She hesitated for a long time before finally managing to say "Mmm."
From then on, there was no stopping her. Gradually, she started talking to me during video calls, and she even dared to turn on the lights. She could also compare her little slut to the video and let me watch her masturbate very carefully. Until later, when she climaxed, I asked her to call me "Daddy," and she would keep calling me "Daddy, Daddy." At that time, she was no longer the gentle and refined young woman chatting with me; she was very sexy, very flirtatious, even very lewd, and I especially liked her like that.
I started thinking about meeting her, but she wouldn't see me. She was always so obedient and well-behaved in the videos, yet she wouldn't budge on meeting me. She would occasionally mention Ya, asking if I still missed her. I said, "Are you afraid I'll see you as a substitute for her?" She just smiled.
She knew I had met Ya and we had sex, and she knew it would end soon. (Actually, I still keep in touch with Ya, but it's mostly just caring greetings, and I recorded a song for her on her birthday.) Yan always said, "Let's not meet, if we meet we'll end it quickly."
I asked, "Do you think it can last if we don't meet?" She said she could remember me forever even without meeting.
I was touched, but I didn't take it seriously. But as we had sex more and more in the videos, I became dissatisfied with just the videos. I wanted to truly enjoy her. Yan had a great figure. As the weather got colder, she wore a down jacket over her thermal underwear when she was online.
I remember very clearly that orange thermal underwear she wore, so tight it exposed her full breasts and buttocks. I really wanted to hold her in my arms and gently part her breasts to savor them.
It was my birthday in November, and I asked Yan to come celebrate with me. She asked if my girlfriend (I forgot to mention, I met a girlfriend through a blind date in October, the kind we're planning to marry in real life) wouldn't be with me. I said she didn't have time. Yan said she couldn't get away either, she had to take care of her daughter, but she would bring me a gift.
On my birthday, I had dinner with my colleagues at work that evening, and she actually ordered a cake to be delivered. It was very cold that day, and the delivery person searched for a long time. When the cake arrived, it was frozen solid; I remember having to chop it up with a kitchen knife. Haha, when I saw the cake, I called her without leaving the room, in front of all my colleagues, and said, "Honey, I received the cake, thank you!" Then my colleagues started cheering loudly (they thought it was from my girlfriend). She heard them cheering and actually cried. Maybe it was because I valued her, making her feel her presence.
After dinner, we went to a karaoke bar. Once again, I held the microphone in one hand and my phone in the other, talking to her and saying, "I'll dedicate a song to my darling." My colleagues teased me again (also assuming it was my girlfriend). I told her to close her eyes and imagine you were sitting next to me. I sang "The Moon Represents My Heart," and she cried again.
Christmas arrived quickly. I told Yan I was going to Nanjing to be with my girlfriend, and that I was passing through Zhenjiang. I asked if she would see me. She said no. I told her I had a train ticket to Zhenjiang and had shown her the ticket.
She said it was useless; even if I came, she wouldn't see me. I thought to myself, if I really got there, how could you bear not to see me? I seemed very confident in myself.
I remember that day when I came out of the train station, I called Yan to tell her I had arrived in Zhenjiang. I could hear the nervousness in her voice. She said, "Go quickly, I won't see you, go be with your girlfriend."
How could I leave? I said I was waiting for her at the KFC at the station entrance, and she should come quickly. But time passed, and Yan didn't come. I texted her, and she always told me to hurry up and be with my girlfriend.
I was sure she was there, just too shy to see me, so I tried to trick her. I called her and said, "I saw you, you little rascal." I heard a gasp, "Ah, how could that be?"
That confirmed it—she really was there, just too shy to see me. Then she relaxed and said, "You scared me to death! I knew you didn't see me, I've been watching you the whole time!" Damn, I was a little angry.
"If you really don't see me, I'm leaving."
"Go on, go on, go be with your girlfriend."
Suddenly, I felt a strange sense of loss. I'd wanted a happy meeting, to eat and chat, but instead, I felt incredibly depressed. I said, "Then I'm really leaving!" I hung up and went straight to buy a train ticket to Nanjing. I knew she was watching me, but I didn't even turn back once. She didn't text me either. Dejected, I boarded the train.
She didn't dare text me. The next day, she asked me on QQ if I was ignoring her.
Although I was still angry, I realized I was starting to develop feelings for her. She said she wouldn't see me because she felt I should be with my girlfriend, and she would feel guilty taking up my time. I remained silent.
Actually, my girlfriend and I met through a blind date, and we hadn't known each other for very long, so there wasn't much of a connection. But after Yan said that, I even felt I should cherish her; such a kind woman deserves my love.
Although I'm serious about my girlfriend, my goal is marriage, and I'm a very traditional and serious husband. Maybe people don't believe it, but I can clearly separate real-life and online romantic feelings, while still investing seriously in both. It's truly a serious relationship. And that's the end of the matter.
What comes after Christmas? New Year's Day! I believe everyone with a girlfriend or not knows the major holidays each year: Christmas, New Year's Day, Valentine's Day, and your girlfriend's birthday. Actually, I don't need to go with my girlfriend, but I think I should find an excuse to go to Zhenjiang again. If she still won't see me, I'll go with her.
Before leaving, I wanted to get Yan a gift, but I didn't know what to get. Then I remembered a small gift I'd won at a company event – a silk scarf, an imported Japanese product. I don't remember the brand, but I'd won it by a landslide from among many beautiful female colleagues; it was originally intended as a gift for women.
I remember telling Yan how hard it was to get this scarf. Yan should know this scarf has some special meaning, and it looks nice; she should like it.
I was in Zhenjiang again, but this time I hadn't told Yan beforehand.
When I arrived in Zhenjiang, it was already getting dark. I called Yan from the station to tell her I'd arrived. She was equally surprised. I asked if she was coming out, and she seemed quite anxious, unsure what to do. I said it was very cold, and I was walking around on the street. I'd keep walking until she came.
Then I hung up, left the station, saw a KFC, and immediately felt a pang of regret. I actually started walking towards the city center. After walking for about ten minutes, I arrived at the entrance of Hengshun Vinegar Factory (Zhenjiang vinegar is very famous, haha). I clearly remembered the place. Yan called and asked where I was. I said I was across from the entrance of Hengshun Vinegar Factory. She said, "Wait for me."
Haha… I hung up and burst out laughing.
Then I walked a few dozen meters ahead and hid in a phone booth to keep out the wind. A little while later, Yan called again, saying she had arrived. I looked at her from a distance. She was wearing a black down jacket and black pants. She wasn't very tall, a little over 160 cm. You can't tell her height in videos. She was fuller than I imagined, probably because she was wearing so many layers. I said, "I see you." She started looking around. I laughed out loud and said, "Little rascal, you know you don't feel good when someone stares at you, huh?"
I was teasing her again. I knew this would distract her from her anxiety and unease.
Yan started stomping her feet and said, "Come out quickly!" She really stomped her feet. I thought she was so cute. I slowly walked over and coughed lightly behind her.
She turned around, and her face looked a little older than in the video. In the video, the lighting made her skin look great, and she looked very young. Only when she was in person did I realize she was a mother of a four-year-old. She leaned closer and asked if I was cold. I said yes, my hands were shaking and so cold.
She actually took my hand, and I naturally pulled her into my arms. She was trembling a little; I couldn't tell if it was from the cold or from excitement. I whispered in her ear, "I missed you so much!" She snuggled against me without saying anything. I said, "Are you really that scared? I'm not going to eat you, why are you trembling like this?" She pushed me away and said, "Dream on, have you eaten?"
I said no. She said she'd take me to eat, and we went to a place in the city that she always told me about, a really good place. But there were no seats available, and she said, quite embarrassed, that we should go somewhere else.
After leaving that place, there was a small shop selling mutton stew. I said, "You guys in Zhenjiang still have this? Is it authentic?" She said she didn't know. I said, "Let's try it." She said, "No, I don't want to, is it unhygienic?" I said, "It's okay." Actually, I do
n't really care what I eat; I just want to eat quickly and go inside. Yan ate dinner, and she just watched me eat. After I finished, she said, "I'll find you a place to stay; I have to go back." I said
, "Okay." At this point, I definitely wouldn't suggest she not go back. Then we found a Jinjiang Hotel nearby. I was wondering if she would be shy when we got to the room, but she booked it very quickly and normally. I glanced at it; her real name was on it—I won't write it here, haha. I said, "You're quite skilled." Then I immediately regretted it and quickly added, "Don't be nervous."
Thinking about it, it wasn't a big deal. After all, she's older than me, married, and has children. After we ate dinner, she was no longer nervous or awkward. This behavior is normal.
We went into the room, and I took out the silk scarf, saying it was a belated gift for my darling. She recognized the scarf, and when she saw me give it to her, she smiled happily and said thank you.
I started to chuckle and said, "Shouldn't you give me a kiss to express your gratitude?" She blushed and said, "I'll boil some water for you." I watched her go about her business, turning on the air conditioner, taking off her coat, turning on the TV, and sitting on the edge of the bed watching her. After she finished boiling the water, she came over, like a little child, and stood beside me. I gently stood up, put my arms around her, and sat on the bed. "Did you miss me?"
"Yes."
"Yes, why wouldn't you see me last time?"
She quickly looked up and said, "I wanted to see you, but I was also afraid to see you."
I met her eyes and kissed her suddenly. She struggled for a moment, then started to hug me. I slowly took off her coat, revealing a thin purple low-cut sweater underneath. I looked down and saw her deep cleavage. I blew on it, and she immediately hugged my head tightly. I took the opportunity to bury my head in her chest.
I gently cupped one of her breasts with one hand, my mouth arching up to touch the other. But the pleasure was short-lived; she gently pushed me away, saying, "I have to go back; my daughter is still home." I didn't speak, just stared at her, then gently kissed her again. This time, I pressed her down onto the bed, and she kissed me obediently and cooperatively. But after a short while, she pushed me away again, saying her daughter was indeed waiting for her at home.
I checked the time and said, "It's only a little past 7. Let her watch some TV. I rarely come here; you should stay with me a little longer." Actually, I knew what she needed at this moment was for me to give her an excuse. After all, she really liked me; I could see it in her eyes.
I pressed down on her full, soft body again and began kissing her relentlessly. This time, it wasn't gentle; it was more domineering. I held her tightly and kissed her forcefully, slowly moving from the edge of the bed to the middle. For the first time, I touched her clitoris through her pants, and she quickly squeezed her legs together.
I knew very well that she had always been a good wife and mother, and this was probably her first time having an affair. Women are always emotional creatures; they can do many crazy things for the one they love, but shyness was still her nature.
I spread her legs apart and began to focus on kissing and kneading her breasts. The air conditioner slowly warmed up, and I started to take off her sweater. She half-heartedly gave in to my advances. Yan's skin was beautiful. Because of the cold weather, my hands hadn't warmed up yet. Holding her trembling breasts, I felt their softness and warmth; the feeling was indescribable.
At this point, she didn't dare to open her eyes to look at me. I kissed her lips again, gently playing with her breasts. Slowly, Yan began to moan softly. I moved one hand to take off her pants, and this time she resisted much more than before (I later learned that she was extremely wet down there).
But it was all in vain. I whispered in her ear, "It's not like I haven't seen our darling's little pussy
before." She covered my mouth with hers, not letting me say anything. She took off her jeans and stockings, revealing her pale thighs, leaving only a small pair of black lace panties. I like black lace, Yan knows that. She bought them after our video sex. I excitedly went straight for the panties. Yan covered her face in embarrassment. I said, "Did you wear these panties on purpose to show me, darling?" Actually, I knew it wasn't. It must have been a coincidence. She hadn't been there long since she answered my call, and I was deliberately trying to embarrass her. I put my mouth to her pubic hair and sniffed hard. Yan could tell what I was doing when she heard me. She just instinctively squeezed her legs together, but my hand had already wandered to her pussy. The wet, hot feeling hit me. I could feel that Yan was wet. I gently spread her panties open and took her pubic hair into my mouth. Yan's pubic hair was beautiful, not very thick, but very black and shiny.
I wet her pubic hair with my tongue while pulling down her panties. Because she hadn't showered, there was a slight musky smell, but mostly the fishy, pungent smell of her freshly secreted vaginal fluid.
Yan's vulva was quite large, with thick labia majora pressed together, still a vibrant deep red. I slid my fingers inside and was immediately drawn to the slippery wetness. I didn't kiss her labia, firstly because she hadn't showered, and secondly because I didn't want to give her too much stimulation on our first time; I believed our affair had already aroused her to the point of fainting.
After a while, I noticed Yan was moaning loudly and shaking her head. I slid my fingers over Yan's body again, and she immediately hugged me and began kissing me proactively. I mischievously asked her if she wanted me. She didn't answer, just kissed me forcefully. I quickly took off my clothes, feeling a little cold, and hurriedly asked her if she was cold. She shook her head and said no.
Haha. I guided her to touch my already erect penis. She paused briefly, then began squeezing my penis with her hand. Feeling its heat and hardness, she slowly moved her legs, positioning me between them. I told her, "Baby, if you want to be fucked, just put your penis in yourself."
She closed her eyes and didn't speak, slowly guiding my penis to the entrance of her vagina. The glans touched her wet labia and couldn't resist trying to penetrate. She cooperated by moving her hips to adjust her position.
Finally, the glans gently squeezed in, and she let out a loud moan. I couldn't help but smile; it seemed my baby's moans were quite beautiful.
I slowly pushed my penis in; she was already soaking wet, so it wasn't difficult at all. I inserted it all the way in, and she let out another loud "ah," probably because my length exceeded her expectations. I began to slowly thrust, propping myself up and watching her being fucked.
At this moment, I finally couldn't resist asking her mischievously, "Little slut, finally fucked down, huh?" She closed her eyes and "humphed," but surprisingly, she responded with a sound. Haha, I couldn't help but feel happy. It seems Yan is quite uninhibited in bed.
I started using the "three shallow, one deep" or "nine shallow, one deep" sex rule, which I don't usually like to use. Knowing she was going home soon and there wouldn't be a second round, I didn't want to rush things.
Actually, it's been about a year since I met Yan. Although this was my first time, we were already incredibly familiar with each other, and we had that kind of love-struck feeling between us. So, making love felt incredibly blissful. Watching her writhe and moan beneath me made me especially happy because she loves me, and she was willing to let me express our love in this way. I could also feel her deep love, so I experienced not only physical satisfaction but also spiritual pleasure.
We didn't change positions much. Just when Yan was about to climax, I flipped her over, stuck her butt out, and roughly fucked her from behind. Maybe it was because she had never tasted such a long penis before, and because it's especially deep from behind, so amidst Yan's almost hysterical screams, she climaxed, and I couldn't control myself and ejaculated inside her. She had told me she had an IUD so she didn't need to worry about getting pregnant.
Afterwards, she lay on the bed, refusing to move. I gently hugged her from behind. Yan seemed to be crying; I think she was thinking about her husband. At that moment, I knew I didn't need to say anything. I pretended not to know; she had to resolve her own inner conflict. I just hugged her, kissed her back, and softly said, "I love you..." After a while, Yan gently sat up, and I mischievously leaned in and kissed her: "Baby, did I enjoy it?" Men always ask that, haha.
She glanced at me and cursed, "You little rascal," then hugged me tightly, kissing me for a long time before reluctantly pushing me away, saying she had to go back. I helped her pick up her panties, touching her here and there while helping her put on her clothes.
Finally, she had to go back. I held her and kissed her fiercely…
She left, and I lit a cigarette, lying there contentedly, a kind of psychological satisfaction.
We met a few more times afterward, and our sex became more intense, with various variations. Once, I ruptured her clitoris. I didn't even know if it hurt; I didn't know if she was in pain. I just glanced down and saw blood mixed with her vaginal fluid flowing out, getting on my balls, and then splattering onto her clitoris, leaving large red spots on the sheets. Later, she was afraid to let me have sex with her anymore, so she asked me to masturbate and give me oral sex. But her technique wasn't very good, and she couldn't ejaculate. In the end, I masturbated while she licked my anus, only taking it into her mouth when I was about to ejaculate, until I ejaculated into her mouth.
I felt she gave me her all in bed. Maybe she was naturally open in bed, or maybe it was because she loved me so much that she put so much effort into making me happy. I
won't go into details; looking back, this post has taken a week to write. Having sex with Yan was more about psychological satisfaction, the feeling of possessing her completely, a kind of love that was made out of love.
Haha, this is my first time writing, so it might not be very coherent. I just wanted to share my satisfaction with everyone. I truly loved deeply. Although we no longer have relationships with these people, we still keep in touch, occasionally exchanging pleasantries. This feeling is wonderful.
[The End]
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[Longing for You: Remembering Jinshan] [Author: A Commoner] [The End]

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