My Men - Old Li

After writing the title, I realized I'd already reached the seventh one on the list. I didn't even realize it until I counted; it's quite alarming. Since breaking up with that lecherous guy, I haven't dated anyone for almost a year, not counting my relationship with Da Liu. During this time, I've calmed down and reflected. I've dated so many men, but none of them led to marriage. There are various reasons, of course, but I think I need to reflect on myself. I've shared these thoughts with my online friend H, and his reply was: "I feel you're more suitable as a lover than a wife." When I pressed him for a reason, he couldn't give a specific explanation, only saying it was a feeling. I guess he's just an online friend after all; we haven't met in person, so he doesn't understand me well enough to give a concrete reason.
But since I've already thought about it, I have to make some changes, otherwise after the New Year I won't even be able to find a boyfriend, even if I pay him to stay. So I secretly resolved that any boyfriend I date next will definitely not be someone I can easily mess with. Old Li was the first "victim" of this resolution. He was introduced to me by an enthusiastic auntie at my workplace. He's two years older than me and also works for a state-owned enterprise.
Later, I gradually realized that besides my own impulsive and bad personality, my fear of easily sleeping with men was also a major reason. Men certainly don't want their wives to be so frivolous. Perhaps it was precisely this behavior that made others treat me like a plaything. Maybe my previous boyfriends trampled on me while secretly looking down on me. This logic is actually easy to understand with a little thought, but I just hadn't thought about it before.
According to the state-owned enterprise... It's customary for familiar colleagues to address each other using "old" or "young" followed by their surname to sound friendly. So, after we got to know each other, I started calling him Lao Li (Old Li), which he seemed to appreciate, saying that only long-married couples call each other that.
Lao Li is a university graduate hired by a state-owned enterprise. After starting work, he pursued a part-time master's degree. People with such high qualifications are often considered key personnel for development in state-owned enterprises, so he's always kept a clean and presentable appearance, always dressed smartly. His glasses, given his nearsightedness, also added to his refined look. However, someone who only knows how to study won't survive in a government office. Lao Li isn't the kind of person who's become dull from studying. His success at work, besides his education, also stems from his excellent interpersonal skills. Judging from his behavior during our first meeting, he probably had a girlfriend before, or... He was naturally gifted, and I didn't see anything particularly important about it. He talked eloquently, citing numerous examples, but my knowledge wasn't as profound, and I couldn't join the conversation. However, he quickly realized this and immediately changed the subject. My first meeting left a good impression on me. My intentionally ladylike image probably pleased him as well. We hit it off, exchanged phone numbers, and met up every few days.
After dating Lao Li for about two months, I had a better understanding of him. He seemed good in many ways, had no bad habits, and was ambitious. I decided to cherish this relationship and introduced him to my parents early on. My parents liked him very much and often invited him to their home for meals. This time, I learned from my previous mistakes. So I've always been very reserved, and Lao Li is a rather traditional man, so in the first few months, the most intimate gesture was just kissing. I really wanted to find someone to marry, and I was serious about Lao Li, so I didn't look for Da Liu again. After a few months, I was incredibly frustrated, but for the sake of long-term happiness, I could only grit my teeth and endure it. But in my heart, I resented Lao Li for being so unromantic. I could tell he wasn't averse to women, but his self-control was just too good. There were times when he was already unable to control himself, but he managed to hold back, leaving me feeling like I was suspended in mid-air, which was really unbearable. I both loved and hated his behavior, and could only hope that he would break through this barrier soon.
It wasn't until half a year later, when we went on a trip during the National Day holiday, that he finally made his move on me. Speaking of our first time... We didn't succeed in getting into bed. We were both honest about our lack of sexual experience, but I was afraid he'd be disgusted by my lack of detail, so I didn't ask too much about his past. In my opinion, even if he wasn't very experienced, he couldn't have had too few. But when we actually slept together, I discovered that his experience was indeed as he said—only one woman (once).
After arriving at our destination, we went to find a hotel. Old Li insisted on getting two rooms, and I couldn't refuse. Plus, we were tired from the journey, so we settled for bed early the first night. The next day, after dinner, he came to my room and had me sit on his lap. While we chatted about our day's activities, he gently stroked my thighs. But I wondered if he would fail again this time. Perhaps being in a foreign land brought us closer, and... Perhaps sensing the opportunity was ripe, he seemed determined to make his move, telling me his legs were numb and suggesting we sit on the bed. Hearing this excuse, I almost burst out laughing. I really didn't know what he was thinking, but I didn't dare laugh out loud, so I forced myself to nod shyly, and he pulled me to sit on the bed.
Nestled against him, the atmosphere gradually became ambiguous. If Old Li had been bolder and pushed me onto the bed, he would have been in trouble. However, he simply held me, seemingly unhurried. I had decided to act like a lady, but honestly, I had no idea what a lady should be like at this moment, so I buried my head in his chest, thinking, "Whatever happens, happens." I was determined to remain unchanged. After
dinner, back in my room, I changed into... I was wearing loose clothes, and since I wasn't planning on going out again, I wasn't wearing a bra. After hugging me for a while, Old Li started groping me haphazardly. He quickly realized what was happening, but said nothing. However, I could feel his arousal; his grip on my breasts tightened, making it hurt a little. Afraid of affecting his mood, I endured it without making a sound. Fortunately, he then became gentle, and soon I was panting heavily. This panting also stimulated Old Li. He carried me slowly to the bed, being extremely careful, as if afraid I would suddenly wake up and escape. Finally,
we were on the bed. He wasn't satisfied anymore; he just stroked my breasts through my clothes, reaching down to my nipples. This direct stimulation made my body involuntarily twist and turn, arousing... He became aroused, rolled over, and pinned me to his side. With a soft gasp, my clothes were lifted, revealing my breasts to him. My breasts weren't very large; a slightly larger man could almost grasp them in one hand. Perhaps from being played with so often, they had lost their former elasticity, appearing even flatter when I lay down. My dark red nipples stood out against the areolas, prompting Old Li to immediately lean down and suckle them. His actions made my already wet vulva even more aroused. I wanted to cry out, but I hesitated, so I had to suppress it.
Just as I expected, his sexual skills became increasingly proficient, and I frequently reached orgasm. With his encouragement, I no longer needed to pretend in bed; everything seemed to be going smoothly.
"Let me see your genitals," he finally stopped and whispered in my ear. In our intimate moments before, he'd often touched my genitals, but because of his restraint and my feigned modesty, I'd never let him see. Now, making this request, he clearly wanted to gradually undress me so his penis would be easily satisfied. I was also hoping for him to penetrate me, but thinking about my now darkened labia, I was afraid he'd be disgusted if he saw them. Although I'd read many articles online saying that darkening of the vulva wasn't directly related to the amount of sex, many more believed it was, and I think most people believed the latter. Thinking about this, I didn't respond. Perhaps thinking I was unwilling or too shy to speak, Lao Li didn't say much, but instead kissed my lips, and soon our tongues intertwined, our saliva connecting.
He was probably unwilling, because soon he started kissing me while trying to take off my pants. But this position was really difficult, and it took a lot of effort to get them down a little. I was enjoying the kisses, so I naturally lifted my lower body to cooperate with him. This little action, however, greatly encouraged him. He immediately got up, stood on the ground, grabbed my pants leg, and pulled them off with a tug. Then, he impatiently pulled off my underwear as well. I continued to play it safe, simply covering my eyes with my arms, pretending to be shy. I could only feel his hands stroking my thighs, and after a while, he gently parted my legs a little, probably wanting to see more clearly. But for a long time, he didn't seem to be doing anything else; it seemed he was just looking. Sometimes I could feel his warm breath. Unable to bear being left hanging any longer, I sat up, our eyes meeting. This startled him, and he seemed a little flustered. After a moment of hesitation, he quickly leaned over and kissed me again.
We kissed, our emotions aroused again. As he caressed my vulva, I gradually began to moan, but I dared not cry out loud. I simply opened my legs, hoping he would enter me soon. Old Li finally couldn't resist any longer. He spread my legs and eagerly pulled down his pants. I pretended not to want to look, covering my eyes with my hands, but I was also very curious about what his manhood looked like, so I secretly peeked through my fingers. I saw him taking off his underwear, his penis swaying with his movements. This long-awaited sight quickly took my breath away. I stopped covering my eyes and stared at him with hazy eyes.
He was ready, but seeing me looking at him, he seemed to think it was important and immediately looked away, focusing only on my figure. My shirt was lifted, revealing my breasts, my slender waist, and my snow-white thighs, outlining a beautiful curve—it must have been very alluring. Old Li held my legs and slowly parted them, revealing my wet vulva. He tentatively rubbed his penis against my vulva, then glanced at me. Seeing that I didn't object, he thrust in. It wasn't very deep, but it felt very good for me, as I hadn't tasted a man's penis in a long time, and I couldn't help but moan softly. But as his penis slowly went all the way in, he suddenly began to thrust violently. I screamed and followed his movements, screaming loudly. After a while, I remembered that I shouldn't be too lewd, so I covered my mouth with my hand, trying my best not to scream too loudly.
I had to remain silent, so it wasn't easy for me to get into the mood quickly. But he seemed to be pounding garlic, pushing hard inside me. He couldn't hold on for long and pulled out abruptly, stopping motionless, seemingly ejaculating on the sheets. Although I was a little disappointed, I was quite experienced with men by then, and I didn't think he was incompetent. It had been a long time since we'd had sex, so I understood that he might ejaculate quickly the first time. So I hugged him and kissed him, hoping to let him rest before trying again. But whether he was truly exhausted or what, his penis wouldn't get hard; it remained half-erect. I had no choice but to give up, and we slowly fell asleep in each other's arms.
The next morning, we did it again. He seemed reluctant too, and this time it lasted much longer, though it still felt very unfamiliar. Although I still didn't reach orgasm, I was in a good mood. Judging from his expression, he was probably just inexperienced and would get better with more tries. The biggest surprise was that he encouraged me to moan, finally I didn't have to hold back anymore.
Afterwards, we went home, and soon after, I suggested moving in with Lao Li. Perhaps knowing I had already experienced this, my parents weren't too opposed and agreed within a day. We began living together.
But in fairy tales, princes and princesses can live carefree forever, but life isn't a fairy tale. Living together day and night, differences in habits and values are inevitable, and perhaps other things as well. The reason was probably that after a few months, we started to feel something was off. Perhaps the novelty had worn off, and we became less tolerant of each other. We easily argued over trivial matters, and I didn't know what to do.
At first glance, the disagreements weren't that big, but they escalated. It seems that maintaining a romantic relationship is easy, but maintaining a marital relationship is very difficult. Finally, after a year and eight months of dating, we broke up.
I can say this was the most intense relationship I'd ever had, and it still didn't work out. It was a huge blow to me, and it took me a long time to recover.
But life goes on, and my emotions gradually calmed down. These things are all about fate. Since we weren't compatible, it was better to end it sooner rather than later, to avoid further suffering for both of us.

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My Men - Old Li

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