My Love Story with My Mother (reprinted)

My name is Li Xinbo. I just turned 15 today and am currently in my final year of junior high school. I will be taking the high school entrance exam in less than six months. I live in a single-parent family. My parents divorced a long time ago, and at my mother's insistence, I was awarded to her.

My mother divorced my father when I had just graduated from elementary school. According to relatives and friends, my father was a good-for-nothing scoundrel who didn't care about his family. He often went out cheating and was a gambler, ruining countless amounts of money for the family. My mother endured it all for my sake. But when I graduated from elementary school, she finally couldn't take it anymore and went to court alone to file for divorce.

I haven't seen my father since then. Later I heard that he was arrested for being involved in some kind of crime outside. In short, I haven't seen my father since then, and I don't miss him at all. He always beat me when I was little, especially after he drank. When I think of him, I only feel fear and want to escape.

My mother's name is Zhang Yurong, and she is 35 years old this year. She gave birth to me when she was 20. My mother studied medicine in vocational school and then worked as a doctor in a township health center. Because my family was relatively well-off at the time, she eventually married my father through matchmaking and the matchmaking of relatives. My family was quite well-off at the time, and my grandparents left us a lot of wealth. However, my father later squandered most of it, and my mother paid off countless gambling debts for him.

I was just 12 years old when my parents divorced, which is three years ago now. I've been living alone with my mother for those three years. After the divorce, my mother moved to the city with me. She opened a clinic, selling common medicines, giving injections and IV drips, and treating some common but difficult-to-treat illnesses. This way, she could earn money to support me and stay in the city with me while I attended junior high school.

Although my mother is over thirty, she is still very beautiful and young. In addition, she knows about medicine and health preservation, so she takes good care of herself. Her temperament and dress do not look like a woman in her thirties at all. However, due to years of hard work, especially the worries she shared with my father in the past, my mother's eyes have a bit of vicissitudes. It can be said that the only thing that can reveal my mother's true age is her eyes.

Because I was afraid of my father since I was a child, I studied very hard because I was afraid of being beaten by him. Every time I was beaten, my mother would argue with my father. Once, when my father was beating me, my mother lay on top of me to protect me and shielded me with her body.

Now that I'm in junior high, I'm an excellent student, consistently ranking in the top three of my grade. It's fair to say that after losing my family, my mother has placed all her hopes on me. She hopes I'll get into a prestigious university, achieve success in my career, and eventually get married and have children.

"Mom's only wish now is that you get into university, have a stable career, and then find a good wife. Then Mom can take care of your children and enjoy her old age. I don't want anything else..."

Because my mother was young and beautiful, after her divorce, many people tried to introduce her to potential matchmakers, but she refused them all, saying that I was still too young. After that, my mother would say something like this to me.
It can be said that my mother gave up the idea of remarrying for my sake. Because I was beaten by my biological father when I was young, it left me with a lot of psychological trauma. My mother loved me very much, while my father was very strict with me and I was often beaten. Under these two extreme environments, my personality was greatly affected.

If my biological father was like this, what about my stepfather? So my mother gave up on me. Growing up in such an extreme family environment made me introverted and timid. I was usually quiet and rarely spoke. My mother tried to comfort me and also tried her best to accompany me. That's why she opened a shop in the city.

The junior high school I attended was a bit far from my mother's clinic, so she bought me a bicycle, and I usually rode it to and from school by myself. Back then, junior high students also had evening self-study sessions, which usually ended around 7 p.m. So I often went to and from school alone.

However, fearing wind and rain, Mom still stayed at school.
They paid my accommodation fee and even left a set of luggage at the school so I could stay there during windy and rainy weather. The conditions at junior high school weren't very good. Almost one person lived in each dormitory, with at least five bunk beds. The dormitory smelled of stinky feet and was filled with all sorts of noise. Kids our age are usually quite mischievous, so you can imagine what the dormitory environment was like.

But when it's windy and rainy, I have to stay here, which is very painful for someone like me who loves peace and quiet. However, it's not very windy and rainy. Most of the time, I ride my bicycle back to my family's shop, sleep with my mother, and eat her delicious meals.

It was precisely because of living at school that my life underwent a dramatic change, and my inner world also changed drastically. When I was in elementary school, it was in a rural school. At that time, there were very few students in elementary schools; they were all from the same village. So my elementary school life was very simple—just learning and growing.

But things changed when I got to junior high school; all the kids in town gathered there.
In a junior high school, there are all kinds of children. At this age, well-behaved children like me are still a minority. Most children are quite naughty. It was from that time that I first came into contact with the "sex" that adults should have.
When I was little, I asked my mother where I came from, and she said I was found. Since I was already curious about some things, I believed that I really was found.

It wasn't until I started boarding school in junior high that I learned about sex from my roommates. The bad kids there talked about it in rather vulgar terms, like fucking and penetration, but I didn't really understand the specific details. It wasn't until one of my roommates brought a pornographic book to the dorm that I learned about sperm, eggs, fertilization, pregnancy, and so on. Everyone in the dorm passed it around and read it, and I naturally saw it too. The content inside immediately shocked me.

I used to be a pure and innocent child, completely unaware of these things, and I was in the throes of adolescence at the time.
Having been exposed to these things, and being in my adolescence at the time, my roommates often talked about risqué topics. Naturally, I came to understand matters between men and women through constant exposure, but compared to other kids, I understood them much, much later. Because of this, I was often laughed at by my classmates, and my mind was also influenced by my roommates.

Seeing other girls with fuller breasts at school would make my penis very erect. Children of our generation didn't have good conditions, so many of my female classmates didn't wear bras. Many girls' clothes showed their nipples, and the outline of their nipples was clearly visible through their clothing. Some girls from poor families even wore only a vest, which was quite transparent, and you could even see their pink areolas and nipples. Some 14- or 15-year-old girls were very voluptuous, which often aroused my sexual desires.

I've fantasized about having sex with some voluptuous female classmate, but it's just a thought. First, I'm quite shy and insecure, and I rarely talk to girls. Also, I know rape is illegal, so I only dare to think about it and never actually do it. Those female classmates...
It is something I can only look at but cannot reach, seemingly very far away from me.

But there was one woman who was very close to me, practically as close as possible—that woman was my mother. To be honest, before junior high school, I didn't understand anything about sex, so I had no bad thoughts about my mother. Because she was my mother, she was very good to me, and I respected her immensely.

Even when we slept together in the city, I didn't have any other bad thoughts. But I learned about matters between men and women, and influenced by my classmates, I began to pay close attention to my mother for the first time—the woman closest to me…

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My Love Story with My Mother (reprinted)

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