Picked up an AV actress

It's
Friday night at 11 PM. Normally, I'd be in bed by now.

I don't like staying up late; I feel terrible the next day, and I end up writing a bunch of buggy programs. And for some reason, looking at Taipei before dawn gives me a sense of desolation and loneliness, so I don't like witnessing that scene.

Today is different. I want to drink, alone, but not alone at home.

Office romances can be really troublesome sometimes. Even though my girlfriend cheated on me, I'm the one who quits, just because I don't want to face her in that environment, her feigned pitifulness, and the whispers from my colleagues.

Breakup, quitting, re-employment—it's been tormenting me for months, enough to make me suffer.

But today is different.

Next Monday I'm starting at my new company, finally able to leave the past behind and start afresh.

I should be happy, but I still feel a little empty inside. I want to drink, but I can't get drunk because no one will take me home.

Nightclubs are fun places; people there seem to squander their youth, gaining pleasure but leaving behind all their loneliness and solitude, accumulating more and more.

For me, nightclubs are always lonely places,

even though they're noisy, dark, and have poor air quality, and there are occasionally men and women trying to pick me up. But if I want some peace and quiet, it's still possible.

I'm sitting in the corner of the bar, drinking my second Heineken of the night.

"Alone?" I followed the sound and found a woman standing not far from me, holding two glasses of wine. She wore a light purple three-quarter sleeve shirt and a matching knee-length A-line skirt, her shoulder-length hair already disheveled. She

didn't look like someone who frequented nightclubs.

"Yeah." I looked at her curiously; she seemed a little drunk.

"Drink with me." She placed one glass on the bar and stylishly shook the other glass in her hand at me.

Looking at the drinks on the bar, "Moscow Mule?" I couldn't help but frown. She didn't seem like someone who could hold her liquor very well; how could she drink this? I doubted she could even handle Manhattan!

"You're drunk." I wasn't really interested in talking to her.

"One question: drink or not?" she snapped impatiently.

Perhaps it was her attire that clashed with the atmosphere, or perhaps I sensed a hint of loneliness in her eyes besides drunkenness…

I silently accepted the glass of Moscow mule.

Was this why she had approached me? Two lone beasts with the same scent?

She was delighted that someone was willing to drink with her, loudly announcing, “One, two, three!” They both downed their drinks in one gulp.

After that mule, my stomach felt like it was on fire. “I’ve definitely gone too far,” I thought.

Looking at the woman, already a little drunk, she was now swaying even more.

Afraid she would fall, I reached out to support her and helped her sit down.

“Stay with me,” she said, truly drunk, speaking like a spoiled little girl.

“You should go back,” I said, not wanting to cause trouble.

"Come with me!" She reached out and grabbed me, then stumbled and fell onto me.

"Where do you live? I'll take you home!"

A surge of anger rose within me. What was going on? Where did this random woman come from?

I pulled her hand away, and the two of us stumbled out of the pub. "Hey, where do you live?" I hurriedly shoved her into my car, but she just giggled foolishly. I couldn't get any answers from her no matter how much I asked, and I didn't want to rummage through her purse, so I could only pray that we wouldn't be stopped by the police as I sped home.

I could ignore her, let her lie drunk in the pub, let someone take her away, or wait for the bartender to wake her up; but perhaps that feeling of loneliness was too similar and too familiar, I couldn't abandon her, even though I regretted my meddling after bringing her out...

I helped her upstairs, she reeked of vodka, making me almost drunk. I

wanted to quickly leave her on the bed and make a run for it, but she pushed me against the wall after entering the room and started kissing me wildly.

She was a skilled kisser, her wet tongue as agile as a snake, constantly moving in and out of my mouth, her hands restlessly groping my chest. I was completely dazed by her kisses, and my lower body began to react.

She seemed to notice my change, and provocatively licked my earlobe and the corner of my mouth with the tip of her tongue, all the while saying seductively, "Stay with me..."

"Don't do this!" I tried to push her away, but my body was too weak. It turns out that men can also be forced into sex by women.

She knelt on the floor, deftly unzipped my pants, and took out my erect penis. First, she used her hand to stimulate it, and when it was hard, she actually stuck out her tongue and licked it!

From the base to the tip, she licked every inch without missing a single detail before putting my penis in her mouth and sucking on it.

How could I possibly withstand such stimulation? I pressed her head down with both hands, letting my penis be in her mouth. With the movement of her tongue, I felt more and more excited, and my heartbeat and breathing became irregular.

"Ah..." I groaned softly. Her stroking speed gradually increased. I felt myself about to ejaculate and tried to pull my penis out of her mouth, but she didn't let go. I had no choice but to ejaculate in her mouth.

Semen spilled from the corner of her mouth, which she gently wiped away with her hand. Her hazy eyes looked at me as if she were staring intently at her hard-won prey. She took off my shirt and then her own, removing her bra as well. A pair of snow-white, round breasts were exposed in front of me, and my penis, which had just ejaculated, began to harden again.

She pulled my hand to one of her breasts, while her other hand reached down to my crotch. Already almost completely undressed, she pressed close to me, repeating the same two words: "Be with me!"

"Be with me!" she kept repeating.

Since this was the result she wanted, I had no reason to hesitate.

I kissed her roughly, one arm around her waist, the other kneading her breast forcefully—I'd never been this rough with a girlfriend before.

She was very sensitive; my fingers gently circled her nipples,

and they instantly hardened. Perhaps sensing pleasure, her expression became even more alluring, her body writhing as if begging for my attention.

I removed her skirt and panties, raised one of her legs, and wrapped it around my waist. My fingers gradually moved down, finding her clitoris directly. I applied pressure to her clitoris with my fingertips, sometimes light, sometimes heavy, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, and her love juices flowed from her vagina. She let out a beautiful moan: "Ah... um... umm..."

Although I was driving her to the brink of ecstasy, her hands still didn't forget to stroke my penis; taking advantage of her unpreparedness, I inserted a finger into her vagina and began to thrust in and out...

"Ah!" she screamed, her hands gripping my shoulders. With each movement of my fingers, her hips swayed involuntarily, her beautiful breasts bobbing up and down. My desire swelled stronger. Just a little longer, I thought. I loved seeing women so lost in the moment during foreplay.

"Is it good?" I breathed into her ear. "Do you like it?"

"Mmm..." She was clearly swept up in the waves of desire.

She was completely soaking wet.

I aimed the tip of my painfully erect penis at her vaginal opening, letting only the tip enter, gently rubbing her vulva. Her body writhed even more violently. "Faster..." she gasped, wanting me to enter.

"Say 'I want it'!" At this moment, I was no different from a bad guy.

"I want it... I want it... come in quickly... I want it!" Hearing the "command," she didn't hesitate at all, making me wonder if I had picked up an AV actress and brought her home.

I thrust my hips forward, and my penis immediately slid into her body. She really couldn't wait; before I could even move, her waist started moving on its own. However, it was difficult for me to exert force in this position. While I was penetrating her, I lifted her up and laid her on the dining table, her legs dangling in the air. I grabbed her legs and began to thrust forcefully.

"Ah...ah...um...oh...ahh...don't stop...don't stop..."

She moaned passionately, either she was a woman who loved and was used to sex, or...she really was an AV actress.

"Ahh...I can't take it anymore...it's so deep...ah...I can't take it anymore...I'm going to climax..."

Her voice started to sound like crying, but I knew she wasn't uncomfortable, she was feeling incredibly good.

After thrusting for a while, I felt her climax inside her, and soon after, I climaxed too. Before I could ejaculate, I pulled out my penis, and before I could "shoot" in any other direction, I ejaculated all over her chest...This...isn't this exactly like an AV movie?

After her climax, she slumped weakly on the dining table, while I, seemingly slightly more sober from the release of my desire, thought, "What was I doing?! I slept with her without even knowing who she was?"

I was exhausted, partly from physical fatigue and partly from the intense mental tension I'd been under; relaxing made me feel tired.

But I couldn't just leave her there!

I carried her, whether from exhaustion or intoxication, into the bathroom to wash her. I sat her on the edge of the bathtub, with her back to me, and gently lathered her with shower gel.

"Hmph! You got a good deal, not only did you get a slut to have sex with, but she even bathed you!"

Looking at her still dazed state, I couldn't help but complain to myself.

However, this position was really dangerous.

Her buttocks were rubbing against my penis, and my hands were wandering over her chest and genitals to clean her. If I wasn't careful, we might end up having another three hundred rounds.

When the water jet hit her genitals, she moved her waist slightly. This movement made my little brother restless. (Hey! Bro, I never knew you were a seven-times-a-night man!)

The small movement caused a chain reaction: she got wet again, and I got hard again.

She started to want it again, writhing her body impatiently. I gently bit her earlobe, caressing her breasts with one hand and kneading her lower body with the other. I could feel her love juices overflowing. I stood up and let her lean forward slightly. This time, I didn't ask her if she wanted it. I entered her directly from behind.

"Ah!" She seemed caught off guard by my sudden action, her expression and body stiffening noticeably. I held her waist, thrusting faster and harder than before, probably hitting her G-spot every time. Her expression became even more wanton. "Ah...ah...no...ah..." Her voice echoed in the bathroom, the echo arousing even more. Her body was enveloped in the steam, a beautiful pink hue.

Her hands seemed to want to hold onto something, but had nowhere to go, so she rubbed her breasts, which only helped her reach orgasm faster.

The advantage of having sex in the bathroom is the convenience of washing up. After our second time today, I quickly washed us both thoroughly. I absolutely didn't want a third time. What a joke! I didn't want to die of exhaustion before I even turned thirty.

I helped her put her clothes back on and laid her on the bed. I quietly watched her; her plain face gave no indication of such a passionate performance. Even in her sleep, she exuded an aura of loneliness, a loneliness deeper than mine, so deep that perhaps even she herself didn't realize she was lonely.

After cleaning the floor, I grabbed a blanket and snuggled into the sofa, falling into a deep sleep before I could think of anything else.

When I woke up the next day, it was almost noon. I sat up for a while, then found a note on the coffee table. It was from her.

"I'm sorry for causing you trouble."

I flipped the note over and over. That was it?

The AV actress I'd picked up twelve hours ago had simply vanished.

Consider it a one-night stand.

Two complete strangers met by chance in a pub, and under the influence of alcohol, they had a physical relationship. That was all; it wasn't anything particularly unusual in this city.

But I still remember the feeling of loneliness emanating from every pore of her body.

The weekend passed peacefully, and on Monday morning, I went to my new company for my formal first day—a place that only knew my work experience, but nothing about my past.

"Let me introduce our new colleague, Zhang Yuning. She was also a programmer at her previous company. I hope we get along well,"

the engineering manager announced loudly to his colleagues.

"Hello everyone, I'm Zhang Yuning. Zhang is the bow and arrow, Yu is the 'Yu' in 'Zhong Ling Yu Xiu' (meaning 'beautiful and talented'), and Ning is the 'Ning' in 'peace

and tranquility'. My name sounds a bit feminine, but I guarantee I'm 100% a man." This is my usual self-introduction. If there are no surprises, this kind of introduction not only makes it easy for everyone to remember me, but also helps to ease the atmosphere.

The manager led me to visit each colleague's seat, shaking hands and greeting everyone. Although there aren't many people in the engineering department, only about ten, it was still a bit tiring to chat with everyone like this.

Finally, we returned to my seat, and the manager "appointed" the "tall and thin" colleague next to me, asking him to help me familiarize myself with the environment and job duties.

"My name is Lin Weicheng, just call me Weicheng; feel free to ask me any questions, don't be shy."

Weicheng extended his hand, the strength of his handshake as sunny and warm as his appearance.

Weicheng spent the whole morning explaining the work to me, including the current case and the programmer's responsibilities. Although the programming tools and languages are similar, the complexity of the programs used in different cases varies, and the program isn't just written; it must undergo repeated testing to determine if it can be delivered.

Before I knew it, it was noon, and my stomach was growling with hunger. Weicheng patted my shoulder: "Let's eat first! I'll take you to see other departments in the company this afternoon." We

ate lunch at a noodle shop near the company, and our conversation mainly revolved around my previous work experiences.

I'm a rather cautious person, or to put it bluntly, I'm quite calculating. I don't like to reveal too much about myself to someone I've just met. So when Weicheng asked me why I quit my job, I simply said, "The people upstairs were incompetent."

Weicheng, on the other hand, is incredibly sunny. His smile seems to radiate light, and he speaks and thinks directly. "So I can only obediently sit in front of the computer and write code. If it were any other job,"

Weicheng shook his head, "I'd probably be fired in less than three days." He laughed again as he spoke.

I looked at him and smiled wryly. His personality does make him vulnerable, but at least I don't have to worry about someone next door sabotaging me.

The afternoon workday had barely begun when Weicheng dragged me to another floor.

"Ugh! There aren't many girls in the engineering department, and they're all so un-feminine!" he lamented.

I chuckled. "You'd better watch out if your female colleagues hear you!"

"Ugh, they've heard it all before, their ears are calloused!" Wei Cheng shrugged, looking helpless.

As we walked, I listened to Wei Cheng introduce the other departments on different floors, even reminding me which floor and which unit had young, attractive women. I realized he wasn't there to explain the company; he was deliberately slacking off and not wanting to work. "You caught me?" He scratched his head. "Programming is tiring!"

Back at my seat, I remembered that one seat was empty when I met everyone that morning. I asked Wei Cheng, "Did a colleague take the day off?"

"Oh, right! Didn't I just say the girls in the engineering department are all having a tough time? But there's one exception..." He gestured towards the empty seat.

"That's Du Lei's seat. Du as in Du Fu, Lei as in 'budding flower.' She's a stunning beauty and a wonderful person! And incredibly capable; she can find bugs that others can't!"

Wei Cheng's eyes gleamed with admiration. I teased him mischievously, "What? Praising her like that?"

"Are you kidding me?" Wei Cheng quickly denied,

"I have a girlfriend! And while Du Lei is a wonderful person, that's only in general; if you try to get her... well... she'll turn into an iceberg in no time!"

"So arrogant!" Listening to Wei-cheng's description, I couldn't help but frown. I don't like this kind of person, acting like they're so great... My ex-girlfriend, whom I just broke up with, was like that, but in the past I thought it was a girlish charm, cute, until I caught her cheating and she admitted it herself. Only then did I realize that I had only romanticized her flaws.

"You misunderstood! The 'iceberg' I was talking about isn't the kind of arrogance that's outwardly displayed. She just doesn't want an office romance! Besides, she has a boyfriend in America! Why would she look at us Taiwanese guys?" Wei-cheng hurriedly explained when he saw my misunderstanding.

"Oh." I looked at Du Lei's seat, curiously imagining what she looked like: long, flowing hair, a slender waist? Eyebrows like ink, lips like cinnabar? A charming smile, captivating eyes? Or… is she actually a fiery character like Wang Xifeng?

The next morning, when I arrived at the office, Wei Cheng was already buried in his computer. "Wow! So focused!" I jokingly teased him.

"Go away! Focused my foot!" Wei Cheng turned the computer screen towards me.

"The new solitaire?" I almost fainted.

"Hey, don't look down on the new solitaire, okay? I rely on it when my brain is in a mess!" Wei Cheng rolled his eyes at me, his face full of disdain.

I sat down and started munching on my ham and egg sandwich and iced tea. This had almost become my fixed breakfast, a habit I developed after living alone; there were tons of breakfast shops, some delicious, some terrible, and some absolutely awful, but the ham and egg sandwiches usually didn't taste too bad.

"Hey, Du Lei's here!" Wei Cheng called softly. I

looked up, but only saw her back as

she sat down. "Come on, I'll take you to say hello!"

Wei Cheng ignored my unfinished sandwich and walked straight towards Du Lei.

I saw him say something to Du Lei, and quickly stuffed the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth. Just as I stood up to walk over, Du Lei stood up and turned to look at me. Her expression froze instantly, her face turned pale, and I almost choked on my sandwich—it

was her! The AV actress I picked up that night!

The lewd and unrestrained scene from that night flashed through my mind; now, her medium-length hair was neatly tied back, and she was wearing the same shirt and knee-length skirt. I couldn't imagine her as someone who would go to a pub to drink with strangers, let alone imagine her enjoying sex with me.

I walked towards her, feigning composure. The oblivious Wei Cheng seemed oblivious to the strange expressions on Du Lei's and my faces. "Yu Ning, this is the Du Lei I told you about yesterday," he said, then continued to Du Lei, "Du Lei, this is our new colleague from yesterday, Zhang Yu Ning."

I extended my hand. "Hello, I'm Zhang Yu Ning. Zhang is the character for 'bow and long,' Yu is the character for 'beautiful and talented,' and Ning is the character for 'peace and tranquility.'"

Du Lei hesitated noticeably, her smile stiff, but she still extended her hand. We shook hands briefly and returned to our seats. Before I sat down, I deliberately glanced at Du Lei. She was still looking in my direction, seemingly forgetting to sit down, and her face remained as pale as paper.

I think I wasn't particularly concerned about Du Lei's situation; rather, I wasn't particularly concerned about her appearance when she was sober.

People are inherently deceptive. I'm not saying everyone deliberately creates a facade to face the world, but undeniably, once we have the awareness that "I am facing the world," we can no longer face others as our true selves. Everyone is like this, only to varying degrees.

I might be more of a disguiser; Wei Cheng, perhaps less.
As for Du Lei, I haven't seen her with her mask on, so I don't know;
but I must say, I was deeply impressed by the lonely messages she sent when she was not fully conscious.

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me for a year, and I caught her. The other person was clearly inferior to me. She cried her eyes out, but showed no intention of getting back together. Disappointed, I angrily confronted her, demanding to know how she could betray me. Her eyes were fixed on the distance, and she said in a hurt tone,

"I'm so lonely."

"You're lonely?" I couldn't understand. "We're together every day, and you say you're lonely?"

"I wasn't someone who got lonely easily at first, but after being with you, I realized your loneliness is a black hole, sucking everything away, leaving nothing. I tried so hard to fill your loneliness, but I just couldn't..."

I was stunned. In the two years we'd been together, this was the first time I'd heard her express her feelings about me, and the first time I realized she was actually a person with her own opinions.

The breakup was inevitable, but I still gave her face; I never mentioned the reason for the breakup, automatically submitted my resignation, and refused any attempts to win her back. After leaving that environment, everything became clear as if scales had fallen from my eyes: I was a drowning man, and to survive, I had to grab onto something,

and my "girlfriend" was my lifeline. This "girlfriend" could actually be anyone.

Even more miraculously, after breaking up with my girlfriend, I discovered I had learned to swim.

Perhaps because of this, facing Du Lei, despite the surprise, I didn't feel awkward. She was just someone in this city carrying a deep-seated loneliness.

And Du Lei, quiet all day, called me on the internal line near the end of her workday.

"This is Du Lei." She deliberately lowered her voice.

"Oh."

"Could you please come to the rooftop in five minutes? I have something to tell you."

"Oh." I replied expressionlessly.

After hanging up, I saw Du Lei immediately leave her seat. She probably didn't want anyone to know she had called me!

Five minutes later, I saved the half-finished program.

"I'm going to the HR office; it seems some data is incomplete." I told Wei Cheng a little lie.

"Oh, go ahead!" The simple-minded Wei Cheng waved his hand dismissively, as if telling me not to disturb his concentration.

I took the elevator to the rooftop, the only legal smoking area in the building, the floor littered with cigarette butts.

Du Lei was leaning against the wall with her back to me, in a very lazy posture. Her tightly tied hair was now scattered in the wind. I'm not good at describing the scene in front of me, but I have a feeling that if I hadn't been watching her closely, she might have just disappeared.

I watched her quietly for a while, then called out, "Du Lei."

Du Lei turned around, her face displaying an expression completely different from her one in the office: no panic, no shock, only calmness.

"She's just like me," I thought, slowly walking towards her.

"What do you want to tell me?" I asked, looking at the rows of office buildings in the distance.

"Last Friday..." she seemed hesitant about how to begin.

"Last Friday?" I picked up where she left off, "You brought me a drink, forced me to drink with you, and after we finished, you got drunk. Then I took you home! After you woke up, you left, right?" I only got to the point.

"That's it?" She was completely unconvinced.

"That was the main point. As for the details... you kept nagging, saying 'stay with me' all night long; after we got home, you forcibly kissed me, took off my clothes, and raped me! What else do you want to know?"

I looked at Du Lei, whose expression suddenly became tense, her face turning pale and then red.

"I raped you?" Du Lei shouted, then realized she was being too loud and lowered her voice. "I raped you?"

"It's true you took off my clothes first." I emphasized the word "you." "Okay, let me explain in more detail; you kissed me forcefully, aroused me, then took off my clothes and gave me oral sex. After that, you weren't satisfied, so you took off your own clothes, pulled my hand to touch your breasts, and even touched my penis. Of course, we did it! After that, I thought I couldn't just leave you like that, so I helped you take a bath. While I was bathing you, you wanted more, so what could I do? We did it again! But that night it only happened twice, plus the oral sex you gave me, it was only two and a half times, and you forced me to do it all..."

I carefully observed the changes in her facial expressions, which were more exciting than a Sichuan opera face-changing act.

Du Lei's face was flushed crimson by the end. "Stop talking!" she interrupted me loudly.

"You're the one who asked to hear this," I shrugged.

"What do you want?" Du Lei crossed her arms, seemingly prepared for a negotiation.

"I don't want anything." I looked at Du Lei expressionlessly. To be honest, I didn't like her current attitude; not everyone uses someone else's weakness as a weapon.

"Don't want anything?" Du Lei looked incredulous.

"I'm serious." I sighed. "

It was just an accident that we ended up in the same company. I had already decided to work here before I met you, and... just think of it as a one-night stand between two strangers. We'll still be strangers after dawn. I'm not so sinister as to use this as leverage to threaten you. Besides, I only met you today, what's there to threaten me with? Nobody knows about us, and even if they did, it's questionable whether anyone would believe us! For me, what's more important is..."

I paused to gather my thoughts.

"What's more important?" Du Lei's expression had softened considerably, and her hostility towards me wasn't as obvious as before.

"More importantly, why did you come to me at the pub?" I looked at Du Lei. "Why were you wandering around with two drinks, looking for someone to drink with? And why did you come to me? When I saw you drunk at the pub, I thought you were incredibly lonely, so lonely that you needed someone just as lonely to keep you company—yes, that person was me. Then, seeing you asleep, I started to think that loneliness was practically an integral part of you, so deeply ingrained. It just does

n't seem right to me." Du Lei looked at me, silent for a long time. "I think you've been reading too much Haruki Murakami." She said this and turned to leave the rooftop.

Read too much Haruki Murakami?

I shook my head. Don't assume that just because you hear the word "loneliness," it's Murakami's exclusive domain, okay? Actually, I prefer Banana Yoshimoto!

Du Lei is still wary of me.

Although she hasn't spoken to me these past two days, I can tell from her eyes that she still has doubts about me.

That doesn't matter to me, although I admit I'm interested in Du Lei; my interest is based on her hidden side, not her beauty or competence that everyone sees.

On Friday night, the engineering department held a welcome party for me. When I first heard about the welcome party, I was genuinely stunned for a while. I'm not a university student anymore, why are they having a welcome party? However, I'd heard our manager was a lively person, and since eating and drinking together with colleagues did shorten the distance between us, everyone was happy to have the opportunity to eat and drink to their heart's content on company funds. Even though I'm not one to pretend to be close to others, I didn't feel the need to object or question it.

The welcome party was held at a restaurant with private rooms; we booked two tables, and a group of us were making a ruckus inside.

It was quite late when we finished eating, and some colleagues, taking advantage of not having to work the next day, insisted on going out for more. People left in twos and threes, and even the drunken manager took a taxi home.

I was a little too drunk that night, and my head was slightly dizzy, so I couldn't drive home.

Just as I was about to move towards the bus stop—

"Zhang Yuning!" someone called from behind.

I turned around and saw Du Lei.

"What's wrong?" I thought she'd never speak to me again!

"How are you getting home?"

"By bus! It's hard to drive after drinking." I said matter-of-factly.

"I'll take you home!" Du Lei said matter-of-factly as well.

"Take me home? No, no, thank you for your kindness." I quickly refused.

I still vividly remembered the "encounter" of her bringing me to my house last time. Although I had drunk more this time, if I did something to her again, I would be in deep trouble. The first time could be called an "accident," but accidents usually don't happen a second time.

"Where did you park your car?" Du Lei seemed to ignore my refusal.

"You didn't drink?" Right, if she had also drunk alcohol, even just a drop, I could refuse her.

"I didn't drink a drop." My plan seemed to have been seen through by her. "There were a lot of girls at our table, and everyone was drinking tea."

Seeing that most of my colleagues had left, I said without any restraint, "You didn't have to do this."

"It's my freedom to do what I want. I just wanted to take a colleague who had been drinking home, and I found out that we live quite close to each other." Du Lei glanced at me. "What, is that not allowed?"

"That's it?" I asked her.

"What do you think?" She looked directly into my eyes, "Although I have only observed you for three days, I don't think you are a bad person, and, to a certain extent, I admit that we are the same kind. I have thought about what you said to me on the roof that day, and it does make sense. Although the first time we met was not a good one, I still want to thank you."

Du Lei's tone became gentler and her expression became more and more relaxed.

"Are you serious? Didn't you want to take the opportunity to send me home and poison my house?" I deliberately made fun of her.

"Hey, if you want to be poisoned by me, you can queue up behind me!" Du Lei wrinkled her nose at me.

After getting in the car, "No wonder Wei Cheng said you are a good person." I said.

"Oh?" Du Lei raised an eyebrow. "He said that about me?"

"He said you're nice to everyone." I closed my eyes, feeling a little tired.

I heard her sneer and then stop talking; I didn't want to pay any more attention to her either, even though I still had many questions for her, but... now was not the time.

Back at the apartment building, Du Lei insisted on walking me up. "Thank you, you can go back now." Honestly, I didn't want Du Lei to stay there too long.

Du Lei nodded and stood in the entryway putting on her shoes. "I have a question for you—" she suddenly turned around.

"What?"

"You said my loneliness is very deep-rooted," Du Lei bit her lower lip, "Why do you feel that way?"

I knew it; even she herself didn't realize she was lonely.

"It's just a feeling." That was the truth.

"Oh." Du Lei was clearly not satisfied with my answer.

"Go back now, you can take my car if you want." I urged her again.

Having just ended a relationship, I didn't want to quickly establish a relationship beyond friendship with another woman, especially one lacking an emotional foundation. Du Lei and I had already set a bad precedent; there couldn't be a second time, especially since I'm not exactly a perfectly rational man.

"Well… lend me your car for now, I'll return it tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you for driving me home today." I still had to thank her verbally.

After Du Lei went downstairs, I watched her leave from the balcony, my heart filled with complicated emotions. I really wanted to know where her loneliness came from, and I wanted to ask her why she went to a nightclub she didn't usually frequent that day, but… we were just colleagues, and had only known each other for a week. Those questions were too personal; besides, her loneliness should be left to her boyfriend to solve, not me.

"Ring...ring..."

"Who is it? Calling so early in the morning? I haven't had enough sleep yet!"

I heard the phone ringing in my sleep, and being woken up made me annoyed. I was going to ignore it, but the phone seemed to know I was going to ignore it, and the ringing showed no sign of stopping.

"Ugh, so noisy!" I gave up, impatiently kicking off the covers and walking to the living room to answer the phone.

"Hello!" Who is this clueless person?!

"Hello?" Hearing the anger in my voice, the other person's voice became timid: "This is Du Lei."

"Huh?" I was stunned. I didn't expect it to be her, and I didn't expect her to call so early.

"Du Lei? Why are you calling so early?" I glanced at the clock on the wall. "Miss, it's only nine o'clock!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Du Lei quickly apologized on the other end of the phone. "I'll bring the car back to you. It's downstairs at your place now."

"What?" I was shocked. I was really defeated by her. "Then... come up!"

Du Lei was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, looking somewhat like a student, completely different from her usual shrewd and capable appearance in the office.

"I'm sorry to wake you up." Du Lei quickly apologized when she saw my sleepy and disheveled appearance.

"Ah... it's okay," I waved my hand, telling her not to mind. "I just tend to sleep in later on weekends."

"Oh..." Du Lei didn't seem like she was just there to return the car.

"Come in first, I'll change my clothes and freshen up, I'll be done soon." I thought she still had something to say, so I invited her to sit in the living room first. After she

finished washing up, I went into the kitchen and poured her a glass of water. "What? Is there something else you want to ask me?"

"Ah...yes." Du Lei took a sip of water and licked her dry lips. "I want to ask you...what kind of person do you think I am? And, I feel like you're very wary of me, why? Was my attitude on the rooftop that day too bad?"

"Huh?" Why would someone ask such a nonsensical question so early in the morning?

"I...I actually don't really like to have deep relationships with anyone, so when you told me that Wei Cheng said I'm nice to everyone...I was actually quite surprised."

Du Lei stammered a little.

"Why are you asking me this?"

Du Lei's attitude puzzled me. She was so cold and unapproachable at first, but why was she so kind as to drive me home yesterday? And now she's asking me these strange questions first thing this morning? "I don't know you at all, and I don't really know you. Aren't you being presumptuous?"

I looked at Du Lei. "Why don't you ask some of your more senior colleagues who have known you for a longer time?"

"Precisely because I've known them for a long time, I can't ask them." Du Lei stared at me intently. "I work with a different face."

I looked at her without saying a word. I understood what she meant.

"You're right, I'm lonely. Although I seem very capable, once I leave the office, I'm nothing." Du Lei was waiting for my answer.

"Since you're at work with a different face, why don't you just show me that same face?"

I still couldn't guess Du Lei's intentions.

"As for what happens after you leave the office, that's not my business. You have a boyfriend, don't you? Even though he's in America, with technology so advanced, maintaining a long-distance relationship shouldn't be that difficult!"

Hearing the word "boyfriend," Du Lei's face flushed crimson, but her tone was bitter: "I can only wait for him to contact me."

"What kind of logic is that? You can only wait for him to contact you?" I despised this kind of man from the bottom of my heart. Unable to help the one he loved, yet telling her to confide in some random stranger—what kind of man is that?

"I'm the other woman," Du Lei said, five words, but enough to explain everything.

Du Lei is the other woman?

"What does he plan to do?"

In my understanding, the cheater's attitude is the key factor in determining how things will develop.

"He told me to wait patiently, that he will divorce his wife," Du Lei said, and I could sense that she still had hope.

"But he won't let you contact him?" I questioned, "I think he's just lying to you."

"Sometimes I feel that way too," Du Lei said with a bitter smile.

"But I get so happy whenever I receive his voicemail or email, and I feel like my waiting was worth it; if I don't hear from him for a long time, I feel so disappointed, like I've been tricked? Maybe he's just brushing me off..." "

Do you understand the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'? What you can't have is always the best."

"Of course I know," Du Lei said calmly, "So when you said the other day that you felt I was a very lonely person the first time you saw me, I suddenly felt a blow; I know I'm lonely, but if even a stranger can see that loneliness, then I'm really lonely."

She looked at me, "No one has ever told me that I'm actually a very lonely person, so you make me feel... very different, I don't know... I don't know if I should..."

I reached out to stop Du Lei from continuing.

"Don't say anymore. I can see your loneliness because I'm the same kind of person. It's just a kind of recognition between people of the same kind. Don't think too much about it."

"Yesterday..." Du Lei started talking to herself again, "I didn't really want to go home."

"Oh my god! Not again!" I thought to myself.

"Every day when I get home, I rush to turn on the computer, listen to the answering machine, and then look at a house that's empty..." Du Lei's eyes started to redden.

"You completely misunderstand the situation." I stood up, my tone deliberately cold. "This relationship was your own choice. You were the one who put the decision in that man's hands, letting him decide whether you could continue loving him. When you decided to love him, you should have considered that this loneliness was unavoidable.

In other words, you allowed him to cause you insecurity and loneliness. Instead of going to him, you come to me, someone you barely know, asking how I can see your loneliness? That's not right! If you don't want to wait anymore, if you don't want to continue, then break up!"

"But I really love him..." Du Lei looked up, her face full of helplessness.

"You can only choose one." I was helpless too! I was dragged out of bed early this morning to listen to my colleague's relationship troubles.

"Either you keep waiting, hoping for a glimmer of hope, but you'll also bear the loneliness of waiting; or you say goodbye, avoiding the pain, but in the end you'll still be alone."

Du Lei remained silent, clearly deep in thought about what I said.

"Do you know what the worst thing is?" I paused, looking at Du Lei, "You've spent so much of your youth on him, and in the end he gave you nothing, leaving you both lonely and isolated."

Du Lei remained silent.

"So lonely that you have to go to a pub to drink with strangers? So lonely that you have to find a one-night stand? Is this what he gave you?" I said disdainfully. I utterly despise those who try to please both sides without willing to suffer any loss, especially fellow men like myself. Ugh! "What a disgrace to men..."

Upon hearing the words "one-night stand," Du Lei's face immediately turned red.

"Don't make it sound like I'm promiscuous, okay? I've only had one, about 101 times!" She frowned, seemingly dissatisfied with my statement.

"You dare say that! That day you forcibly kissed me and raped me, I thought I'd picked up an AV actress!" I retorted without hesitation.

"I didn't!" Du Lei retorted as well.

"Okay...okay..." I quickly slammed on the brakes,

in case she said something like "Let's try it out," then things would really get out of control.

"Back to your original question, you asked me what kind of person I thought you were. I said you're a very capable person at work, beautiful, and get along well with your colleagues; it's just that your relationship makes you lonely, that's all."

"As for your question about whether I was being wary of you…" I thought for a moment, "Yes, I am being wary of you. I'm a rather calculating person, and we don't know each other well at all. One minute you're being very cold and asking me 'What do you want?', the next you're offering to take me home, and now you're at my house saying a bunch of things you should say to a close friend. I really don't understand what you're trying to do! Also… to be honest, my ex-girlfriend cheated on me, and we only broke up recently, so I don't want to have any relationships with any woman beyond friendship right now, okay? What happened between us was just an accident, and I need to keep my distance. Are you satisfied now?"

"That time on the rooftop... I'm really sorry." Du Lei saw my anger rising again as I spoke and quickly apologized.

"I was just a little flustered; I didn't expect to become your colleague."

"So... basically you're a friendly person, just not too close to others?" I asked, half-believing.

"I think so!" Du Lei tilted her head, looking serious.

"Okay. I've answered your question. You know I want to keep my distance from you, so maybe..." I politely asked her to leave.

"There's one more thing." Du Lei sat on the sofa, showing no intention of leaving.

"What?" Why isn't this over yet?

"I'm hungry. Let's go get breakfast!" Du Lei said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Du Lei dragged me out the door, thinking we'd just go somewhere nearby for a nice meal. But she said she couldn't stand Western breakfasts and only ever ate soy milk and sesame seed cakes. So we even drove (yes, my car!) to a soy milk shop she said was delicious. While we ate, she kept criticizing my ham and egg sandwich and iced tea for being so unhealthy. Was I there for breakfast or to be lectured?

But Du Lei quieted down after that; she stopped mysteriously asking me to meet her on the rooftop, and she stopped showing up at my house early in the morning asking random questions. She seemed to consider me one of her trusted friends, but in the office, she still wore a smiling mask while working, busy navigating programming languages every day, trying to maintain her image among her colleagues.

I'm still interested in her, but this interest feels more like that of a researcher and experimental subject.

Du Lei's story is a tired old trope: a young, beautiful woman falls in love with a married man, and the man always reassures her with sweet lies: "I'll divorce my wife."

But the wait seems endless; either the wife comes knocking, berating the young woman as a vixen, or the man is merely lusting after youthful flesh. Very few of them actually end up together.

Why would someone as intelligent as Du Lei fall into this trap?

The saying "love sickness is incurable" isn't without reason.

What exactly happened between Du Lei and her boyfriend that made her so devoted? I can only wait, unable to take the initiative. If they truly love each other, why this unfair treatment?

Every time I see Du Lei's back, I can't help but speculate about what happened between her and her boyfriend. Although I always tell myself to keep my distance, the memory of their intimate moments remains vivid. I rarely experience such physical satisfaction in sex. My ex-girlfriend didn't like strange tricks; she'd complain for ages even about changing positions, let alone doing it in the living room or bathroom. Did

Du Lei's skills come from her boyfriend's training?

What kind of person is she really?

On the surface, she seems like any other strong woman, but after work, she transforms into the heroine of a tragic love story. In front of me, she's like a defenseless little girl, but during sex, she becomes a skilled AV actress…

How many other sides of her are I still unaware of?

Halfway through writing a program, I couldn't help but stop and let my mind wander. Just then, Du Lei walked in from outside, and our eyes met. She secretly gave me a sweet smile that I wouldn't normally give in the office. I quickly looked away from her gaze, my fingers unconsciously moving across the keyboard. Little did I know that in my momentary lapse of judgment, I deleted the entire program I was writing...

"Ah! My program!" I realized I had made a huge blunder and screamed, clutching my head.

"Oh! What happened?" Wei Cheng heard my groan and was about to gloat.

"I'm such an idiot! I deleted things myself, ah..."

I yelled, staring at the computer screen, still unable to believe the stupid thing I had just done.

Wei Cheng, seeing Du Lei about to sit down, gave her a mischievous look: "Were you daydreaming about Du Lei? Sigh... You need to concentrate on work, you know?" He patted my shoulder in a gesture of mourning, then shrank back into his seat.

"What about me!" I gave Wei Cheng the middle finger, wishing him and his ancestors a thousand curses!

Damn it! This program is going to start testing in two days, and I'm already behind schedule. I absolutely can't let my colleagues down! Even if it means working overtime, I have to catch up quickly!

Overtime has indeed become an unavoidable fate...

The office emptied out, until finally I was the only one left battling with the computer.

Finally finished writing a paragraph, I saved it first. "Phew!" I breathed a sigh of relief, checked my watch, it was already past nine. "I'll test it out later, if there are no problems, I can continue tomorrow," I thought to myself.

Walking to the window, I saw a few lights still on in other buildings, probably people working overtime as hard as me, I just wondered if anyone was as clueless as me...

"It's so hot!" I unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt, summer is always this hot! I remember when I first came here, everyone was still wearing coats, gloves, and scarves! Half a year has passed in a flash, and it's been more than half a year since my girlfriend and I broke up...

Occasionally I hear from former colleagues that she and her new boyfriend have been breaking up and getting back together, it seems they're not getting along very well, and her colleagues have started to dislike her, does that mean "I'm still the best"? I chuckled to myself.

The reason we broke up was because I knew she no longer loved me, and I wouldn't love someone whose heart was no longer with me. Even so, I still wanted to respect her choice and hoped she would be happy. Why couldn't she cherish everything?

Is it true that what you can't have is always the best?

I thought of Du Lei.

How was her relationship going? Was she still waiting for a single word from him?

"Yu Ning!" I turned around; it was Du Lei.

"What are you doing here…" She was wearing a t-shirt and capri pants, clearly having gone home.

But why was she here again?

"Haha!" She waved the plastic bag in her hand. "I heard you wailing this afternoon, so I knew you'd be working late tonight. Luckily you hadn't left yet, so I brought you some late-night snacks." Du Lei acted as if it were perfectly normal.

Yes! What I find most irresistible is her "of course" attitude. Whenever I see that expression on her face, I have no choice but to surrender.

"Oh, thank you." I walked back to my seat.

"But that's about enough for today. Let's do a test later and continue tomorrow."

Du Lei was intently focused on my computer, her fingers moving across the keyboard. "Hey! You wrote that command wrong!"

Wrong command? "Oh no!" I thought to myself, quickly returning to my seat. "Where?"

Du Lei pointed to a line. "Here, can you see it?" She stood behind me, her hand reaching over my shoulder to point at the computer screen; had she just showered? She smelled of soap, a very pleasant fragrance…

"What am I doing?" I thought to myself, quickly snapping back to reality.

I looked closely, "Oh dear! I must have been dozing off..." Just one key difference could produce such a drastically different effect in the program. Luckily, Du Lei noticed, and I could correct the error now to avoid wasting tomorrow's time.

"Thanks, thanks, thank goodness you caught me." I breathed a sigh of relief.

I pushed back my chair and stood up, but I didn't quite judge the distance between Du Lei and me, and we almost bumped into each other. I quickly grabbed Du Lei to prevent her from bumping into something or falling.

Du Lei was less than twenty centimeters away from me, her soft hair was right next to my lips, and her breath tickled my neck; usually at this point in movies, the male and female leads would separate slightly and then kiss each other passionately.

The scent of Du Lei seemed to be getting closer. What brand of soap was that? It smelled so good, I should ask her where she bought it…

Realizing my lapse in composure, I quickly pushed Du Lei away. My breath was still ragged.

“Are you alright?”

“I’m fine!” Was it the dim lighting or the heat? Du Lei’s face was so red.

I definitely should keep my distance from her. When I get close to her, I don’t even know what I’m doing.

“Uh…” I tried to ease the awkward atmosphere between us.

“I’m actually quite hungry! Thank you for bringing me a late-night snack.” I said, reaching into the bag and rummaging through it.

Du Lei stood to the side, just smiling.

I handed her a can of tea, and took out my own drink and bread from the bag, eating by myself. We were silent for a while, then I tried to find something to break the silence.

"You seem to be in a good mood lately. Did your boyfriend write to you?" I tossed the conversation to Du Lei.

"Huh?" Her face flushed again. "Yeah...yes! He's been writing to me every day for a week!"

I looked at her, and a pang of sadness struck me. Du Lei was facing a relationship that might end prematurely, possibly even leaving her heartbroken. Why could she wait and wait without complaint? If it were me, I would never do that; I couldn't wait so foolishly, nor could I let my beloved live in constant anxiety.

"Hey, how long have you been with him? How did you get together?"

"Huh? Why are you asking so many questions today?" Du Lei teased me with a laugh.

"It's been about two years with him; he was a colleague at my previous company. He's a very elegant and handsome man, always speaking softly. Later, the company sent him to the New York branch, about a year and a half ago, by which time I had already resigned."

"Did you know he was married when you got together with him?"

"If I had known from the beginning, I wouldn't have gotten so deeply involved!" Du Lei shook her head and sighed softly. "I found out he was married very, very by chance. At that time, I was so worried about what my colleagues would say, so I chose to leave.

I originally thought I should just give up, after all, it takes a lot of courage to be a mistress! But he said he and his wife didn't have a good relationship, and he also said he loved me very much, so..."

"You've really been fooled." I felt like I was deliberately letting Du Lei think that way.

"If he and his wife don't get along, why would they go to America together?"

"He said his wife insisted on coming!" Du Lei retorted.

"Is that really true? Then why won't you contact him?"

"He said his wife is a very jealous woman, and if she finds out I'm with him, she might harm me." Du Lei argued confidently.

"Okay, okay! Say whatever you want. So, has he actually resolved things? When will he get a divorce so you can have a legitimate reason to divorce him?"

I was a little annoyed, seeing Du Lei still trapped in the snare, I kindly wanted to pull her out, but she refused to appreciate it at all.

"I believe he's trying! But divorce isn't something that happens so quickly, is it? Oh! By the way," Du Lei's expression suddenly brightened, "I just wanted to tell you this." She smiled happily, "He said he has a four-day business trip to Los Angeles next month, and his wife won't be going. He told me to go to Los Angeles to see him!"

"You're going?" I suddenly felt that everything was boring. "What?! She was looking so pitiful just now, but she's going to America to meet her lover! It turns out I was the one worrying for nothing and playing the bad cop. What's going on?!" I got up, walked to the wall, and threw the empty can into the trash can with a loud thud.

Du Lei was startled by my sudden reaction. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I glared at her. "I just feel like I'm a complete idiot!"

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Du Lei approached me somewhat fearfully, gently placing her hand on my shoulder.

Feeling her body temperature, my emotions surprisingly calmed down. "No, really nothing; it was my fault for scaring you." I brushed Du Lei's hand away.

"You've always thought my boyfriend was lying to me, haven't you?" Du Lei explained my earlier behavior. "I know I'm being silly, but I'm also very grateful that you're so considerate of me... I don't have many friends, and besides myself, you're the one who understands this best. It's really rare to have a friend like you in the workplace... Anyway, thank you so much."

I looked at her. "When are you going? How many days?"

"I'm going at the end of next month. I'll probably need to take four or five days off. We haven't discussed the details yet."

I pursed my lips, not wanting to comment on Du Lei's relationship anymore. After saving the program, I shut down the computer, tidied up the desktop, and patted Du Lei's shoulder: "Let's go! I'll take you home."

We didn't speak again on the way, except Du Lei occasionally gave me directions. When we arrived at her building, I realized it really was very close to mine.

"You should go up now, it's late, you have to go to work tomorrow!" As soon as the car stopped, I told her to hurry home.

Du Lei looked at me, her face hesitant, "Okay." She unbuckled her seatbelt. "I'm going up."

She opened the car door, got out, closed the door, and walked around the front of the car.

She knocked on my window, as if she wanted to say something. I pressed the button to roll down the window and leaned out.

"What's wrong—"

Du Lei leaned over and gently kissed my cheek. "Goodnight."

I froze, only able to watch her back as she went upstairs, unable to say anything; when she finally disappeared from my sight, for some reason, I had an urge to cry.

I've thought about why I smashed the can and why I felt like crying when I took her home. I don't think I'm an easily moved person, nor do I think I'm ready for another relationship, and I certainly don't think anything will happen between Du Lei and me. I've thought about it for a long time but still can't give myself a satisfactory explanation.

"Damn it! Hormones are at play!" That's the only explanation I can give myself.

In fact, Du Lei and I continued to get along peacefully at the company, working day after day. We both seemed like just busy programmers.

In the blink of an eye, Du Lei was going to America.

Du Lei's decision to take leave to go to the United States caused quite a stir in the engineering department. Colleagues cast envious glances, saying things like, "Wow, so enthusiastic! Going to America to find a boyfriend!" "I'm so envious of you! You're getting both work and love!"

"Don't forget to find me a pretty blonde!" "Have fun!"

The day before her departure, her colleagues gathered around Du Lei's seat, chattering away.

I leaned against the desk near her seat, arms crossed, quietly watching her.

When Du Lei's gaze fell on me, for some reason, a hint of worry appeared on her face.

I just smiled at her, not even knowing the meaning of that smile myself, and returned to my seat to continue battling my code.

Soon, everyone returned to their seats, and the office returned to normal.

After working on the computer for a while, an email icon appeared in the lower right corner of the screen.

I opened my inbox and found a new email from Du Lei.

"Yu Ning: Are you free tonight? Can we have dinner together? Please reply quickly. Du Lei."

I glanced at Du Lei; her back was to me, focused on her work.

"Why does she want to have dinner with me? What does she want to tell me?" I wondered.

"No problem. Please wait for me at the exit of the parking lot on the fourth basement level after work." My fingers tapped on the keyboard, I pressed enter, and sent the reply.

A short while later, I received her "okay" reply.

The reason we chose this place

was mainly because neither Du Lei nor I liked being the subject of strange rumors.

The parking spaces on our floor are all on the second basement level, so parking on the fourth basement level would be a safer and more convenient option for the two of us; although I've thought more than once that we look like a pair of adulterous lovers...

Sitting in the restaurant, we quietly ate our food. If Du Lei didn't speak first, I think I would probably remain silent all night as well.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Du Lei couldn't help but speak first.

"You invited me to dinner, so you should be the one to say something first!" I retorted coldly.

"I... my flight is at nine o'clock tomorrow night."

"Hmm."

"Tomorrow is Saturday..."

"Hmm."

"Can you take me to the airport?"

Huh? Inviting me to dinner was just to find herself a free driver? I almost choked on my food. "You asked me to have dinner with you just to talk about this?" I shook my head. "It's such a small thing, you could have just mentioned it. Why

are you making such a big deal out of it?" "Of course, I didn't just want to say that!" Du Lei looked at me, looking like she was about to faint. "Can you pick me up when I come back? I..." She stammered a little, "I hope that the first friend I see after I get off the plane is you."

Anyone who didn't know the situation would definitely think this was some kind of love confession, but I understood what she meant. No matter how good or bad the outcome of this trip to America was, she hoped to have a reliable person to share everything with.

"It'll be Saturday when I get back..." I thought for a moment, "No problem, just remember to give me your flight number."

"Thank you." A smile slowly bloomed on her face, so beautiful it was hard to look away.

"I'm actually very scared." Du Lei said in a very soft voice, as if she were talking to herself.

"What?" I couldn't hear what she was saying.

She looked up at me, staring straight at me, and after a while, she spoke: "I'm actually very scared. I'm scared that he'll break up with me, scared that his wife will suddenly appear in front of me and call me a vixen, scared that everything he said about getting a divorce was a lie... Waiting for him to contact me here is hard, but at least I don't have to be so scared..."

Looking at Du Lei's terrified expression, "If you don't want to go, then don't go," I said.

"Huh?" Du Lei didn't expect me to answer like that.

"Even if I say that, you'll still go, right?" I shrugged. "Anyway, you'll only know once you go, right? Anyway..."

Thinking about what I was about to say, I couldn't help but blush: "Anyway... I'll pick you up when you come back!"

"That's true." Du Lei laughed again.

After dinner, I took her home as usual.

A bad feeling suddenly flashed through my mind. What was it? It wasn't about Du Lei, but about myself.

On Monday at work, many colleagues had expressions of missing Du Lei on their faces. I couldn't help but find it funny. "Hey! What are these people doing! Du Lei just asked for leave, why is everyone acting like they've lost their parents?" I whispered to Wei Cheng.

"Are you really that clueless or just pretending?" Wei Cheng asked, looking annoyed. "Don't you know that Du Lei is the goddess in the eyes of the men in the engineering department and the role model in the eyes of the women?"

"Oh... is that so..." I pretended to see a ghost. "Is... is it that serious?"

"Everyone's saying that Du Lei's trip to the United States this time is probably to discuss marriage with her boyfriend," Wei Cheng said seriously.

"Really?" I feigned composure, but my mind kept replaying all of Du Lei's words before her departure. Why hadn't she told me anything?

"I guess so!" Wei Cheng scratched his cheek. "I heard she had a boyfriend when I joined the company. Although it seems no one has ever seen him, Du Lei wouldn't lie to us, would she? And they've been together for a long time, so they should be married by now, right?"

"If there are no problems..." I thought to myself.

"What? Aren't you curious about Du Lei going to America? You've been secretly watching her all the time..."

Wei Cheng gave me a strange look, scrutinizing me from head to toe.

"Go away! Where Du Lei goes is her business, it's none of our concern!" I innocently defended myself. "Besides, I only admire her, I have no impure thoughts whatsoever, don't make me sound like a pervert!"

"Hehe, that's for the best!" Wei Cheng patted my head.

"Get lost, he's not your son! What are you touching me for!" I pretended to be disgusted and brushed Wei Cheng's hand away.

I checked my watch, it must be evening in America at this time! Has she arrived? Has she met her boyfriend? What is she doing now? Did she get the answer she wanted?

The engineering department spent Monday and Tuesday without Du Lei.

I finally made it to the end of the workday, dragging my tired body home. It was so hot that I had no appetite at all, so I took a quick shower and went to bed.

I was half asleep when I heard the phone ring. I crawled out of bed in the dark and picked up the phone: "Hello?"

"Hello? Yu Ning, this is Du Lei."

"Du Lei?" Hearing her voice, I immediately perked up.

"What's wrong? Why are you calling? Did something happen?" My heart tightened, afraid that something bad had happened to her.

"No, no, I'm fine," Du Lei said sweetly. "I just really wanted to hear your voice."

"Have you seen your boyfriend?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah. He went shopping with me yesterday! But only yesterday, he's busy on Sunday and today; it's Tuesday morning around 9 AM here in Los Angeles, we'll have dinner together this evening."

"Oh..." Los Angeles time is 15 hours behind Taiwan time, so although it's Wednesday in Taiwan, it's still Tuesday in the US.

"What were you doing the past two days?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Just wandering around, shopping, I also went to Tokyo and Chinatown! But the Chinese food in America is really not that good!" She seemed to be in a good mood.

"It's good that you're alright." I breathed a slight sigh of relief and started joking around, "Those men all look like they've lost their parents while you're gone!"

"Really?"

"Why would I lie to you?" Remembering she was making an international call, "Okay, okay, phone calls are expensive, don't talk about it anymore!"

"Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice, just wanted to tell you I'm doing pretty well so far."

"It's good that you're alright, then...bye-bye."

"Bye!"

I only put down the phone after hearing Du Lei hang up.

I looked at the clock, it was past midnight. I slept in a sweat, feeling rather uncomfortable, so I had to go into the bathroom and take another shower. I don't know if it was because I had just taken a nap, or because Du Lei called, or because I had taken a shower, but I didn't want to sleep at all!

"Ugh!" I cursed. It's not like I don't have to go to work tomorrow. If I can't sleep now, am I supposed to go to work with panda eyes tomorrow? I forced myself to lie in bed and try to fall asleep, but "Damn it!" I still couldn't sleep. What's wrong with me? With a sigh, I changed into my clothes and decided to go to the 7-Eleven at the alley entrance to buy two cans of beer. A

few drinks should help me fall asleep, right? If I still couldn't sleep, I might as well just knock myself out with a spiked club! Carrying the two cans of beer, I walked through the quiet alley in the summer night. Every house was already asleep, so quiet it was hard to believe that Taipei could have such a time.

As I walked, I heard what sounded like a kitten or a puppy meowing from somewhere.

Following the sound, I found two suspicious figures in a fire escape alley. I approached, initially thinking they were thieves, but upon closer inspection, they turned out to be two people "doing business."

The girl was leaning against the wall, her buttocks slightly raised, her panties pulled down to her calves, and the buttons on her shirt and bra undone. The boy entered her from behind, his hips moving in a piston-like motion, his hands caressing the girl's breasts.

Both were trying to suppress their moans, but even the softest sounds were enough to break the midnight silence, and the more suppressed they were, the more exciting they sounded.

After watching for a while, my lower body started to react; my already hot body was now even hotter. I had a bad feeling and decided to hurry home and take care of myself before I got an erection.

Back home, my lower body was already throbbing. I went into the bathroom, took off my pants, and my erection was already quite high. I closed my eyes and started masturbating with my hand. "Ah..." Many images flashed through my mind, but I didn't pay attention to what I was seeing.

I quickened my movements, "Ah...ah..." I cried out excitedly, and an image of someone's body appeared in my mind, only her lower body. I entered her from behind, just like the young couple I had just been with; I invaded her wantonly, using all my senses to feel all her reactions. "Ah...almost...almost..." I growled, and white semen shot onto the floor. After cleaning up, I went back to the living room and pulled the tab on a beer—

wait a minute! What I was just thinking was—

to chug both cans of beer in one go and refuse to think about the image that had just flashed through my mind.

The beer really worked; I quickly fell asleep again and slept soundly until dawn. However, I was still a little sleep-deprived when I woke up in the morning, feeling a bit uncomfortable, but that wasn't unexpected.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…

I realized I was actually counting down the days on the calendar, completely forgetting what I did in the office, who I talked to, or what I said. My memory lasted only about a minute.

"Ah…" I sighed, resting my hands on the table.

How could this be? I know I was looking forward to Saturday, looking forward to Durex's return; but why is this happening? I haven't even fallen in love with her yet, so why do I start missing her the moment she's not around? Why does the world suddenly become so quiet when she's not around?

"What are you doing again?" Wei Cheng, having heard my sigh for what felt like the umpteenth time today, curiously leaned over.

"Nothing! Just feeling really annoyed." I waved my hand to indicate that nothing was wrong.

"Big brother, you've been lamenting for ages! What's wrong? Is your period here too?" Wei Cheng was probably really annoyed by my lamenting and couldn't help but retort.

"Damn it! What period? You're the one who's on your period!" I smacked him on the head. "

Ouch!" Wei Cheng rubbed his head. "If it's not, then don't lament! If any weird bugs appear in my program, it's because of your lamenting, you know?" Wei Cheng made a gesture as if he was going to strangle me.

"Okay, okay," I replied irritably, "I'll be quieter!"

"Damn it, you weren't even listening to me!" Wei Cheng looked annoyed and didn't want to talk to me anymore.

In the afternoon, I made an excuse to go to the rooftop to catch my breath. Some heavy smokers were leisurely smoking there, chatting casually about gossip in their offices and occasionally criticizing their boss's idiocy.

I leaned against the wall, looking at the rows of office buildings, a nameless sadness welling up inside me.

I always thought that as long as I didn't get involved, those complicated interpersonal relationships and emotional entanglements wouldn't bother me. But it seems that no matter how hard I try to avoid them, I can't completely stay out of it.

I told myself I would treat Du Lei as an observer, and I thought my plan would go smoothly; but Du Lei didn't follow my plan. She took it upon herself to treat me as her good friend, and a trustworthy one at that. What should I do? My role as an "observer" made me completely defenseless against her "attacks." She treated me with genuine emotions, and of course, I naturally reciprocated with genuine emotions. But... that's not what I wanted.

I don't want a good friend, nor a lover; I just want someone to observe.

Why does Du Lei have to come and bother me?

My ex-girlfriend once said my loneliness was like a black hole, but I didn't really understand what she meant. Is my current mood simply loneliness? Is this deliberate distance from people simply my loneliness? I appear dashing, handsome, free-spirited, and unburdened by worldly concerns, but perhaps I'm just afraid of being hurt, afraid that my efforts will be in vain.

I'm reminded of the "Wind Tunnel" on the hands of the monk Miroku in the manga *Inuyasha*, which, once opened, absorbs everything. That's probably what my ex-girlfriend was talking about! When closed, it can coexist peacefully with the world; when the passage is opened, it becomes a bottomless pit.

"So that's what she meant..." I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

If my essence is a "wind cave," then so is Du Lei's.

When we face each other, our respective powers can maintain a certain balance; once the balance is lost, one is destined to be devoured by the other.

"We are the same kind..." I muttered to myself.

Thinking this, everything seemed to make sense.

Yes, I miss Du Lei, care about her emotions, care about the development of her relationship... all because we are the same kind; because we are the same kind, we can understand each other's wounds and mentality, and thus create a bond different from ordinary relationships.

I haven't fallen in love with Du Lei; I can only understand her feelings, only understand the struggles in her heart.

I don't love her.

I arrived at the airport early Saturday night, a full hour early, and I wondered why I was in such a hurry. My eyes were glued to the board displaying flight statuses, watching each plane change from "on time" to "arrived." Finally, Du Lei's flight also changed to "arrived."

I anxiously looked towards the exit, knowing full well that after landing, it would take at least half an hour for all passengers to disembark, clear customs, collect luggage, and have their passports checked. It was impossible for her to appear before me immediately after landing, but I still couldn't help but stare intently at each passenger exiting, afraid of missing anything.

Finally, I saw her dragging her suitcase out.

"Du Lei!" I shouted her name, waving my hand wildly as I ran through the crowd of people waiting to greet her.

"Yu Ning!" Du Lei looked around and finally saw me. She abandoned her suitcase, tossed it aside, and ran over to hug me tightly.

"What's wrong?" I was startled. We weren't that close, were we? I placed my hand on her shoulder and felt her body trembling slightly. What had happened? I hadn't seen her expression clearly just now, leaving me completely clueless.

"What's wrong?" I asked again.

Du Lei just buried her face in my chest, not saying a word.

"Du Lei…" I called softly.

After a while, she finally lifted her head, her expression one of utter exhaustion.

"I'm so tired. It took me so long to get here, I'm so happy to see you pick me up." Du Lei's tone was calm, without a hint of anything amiss.

She just held me like that, showing no intention of letting go, watching the crowd walk past us one by one, giving the illusion that time had stood still for the two of us.

If she wanted, I wouldn't object if she held me like that until dawn.

After a while, she finally let go. "I'm sorry."

I patted her, picked up the suitcase she had "abandoned," and said, "Let's go, I'll take you home!"

Du Lei didn't say a word the whole way; the only sound in the car was the radio. Although I was itching to ask her about the "achievements" of her trip to the US, seeing her tired face, I decided to keep quiet. I hoped she was just tired from flying and jet lag.

We returned to her house in silence. I helped her carry her suitcase upstairs; this was my first time entering her home.

Du Lei's house had a cold feel to it. Was it because of the extensive use of steel and glass in the furniture? Everywhere I looked, I could see my reflection reflected in the glass.

Although we both live alone, a man's house and a woman's house are different; Du Lei's house is at least two hundred times cleaner than mine.

Du Lei poured a glass of water. "Thank you for picking me up today."

I took the glass from her. "It's nothing."

We sat on the sofa in silence for a while.

I could tell she really didn't want to talk, so I figured I should let her rest.

"Du Lei, you must be tired after coming back. Get some rest. I'm going back now." I stood up and went to the balcony to put on my shoes.

Du Lei didn't say anything, just stood up and looked at me.

After putting on my shoes, I was about to turn around and say goodbye to Du Lei when suddenly someone hugged me from behind.

"Du Lei!" My heart started racing.

Du Lei hugged me tightly. She cried.

Her sobs gradually grew louder from soft whimpers. I heard her labored breathing and choking sounds. I tried to turn around and hug her, but she clung tightly to my waist, refusing to let me move.

"Don't move! I look ugly crying..."

she choked out. "Don't move..."

I looked at her hands wrapped around my waist. Her hands were so thin and small; you couldn't tell they were hands capable of writing complex programs. These hands had always tried so hard to grasp her happiness. Why was the owner of those hands now crying in my arms?

"Du Lei..." I tried calling her.

"Don't say anything, please..." She hugged me even tighter.

It seemed she wouldn't stop crying until she was exhausted.

I placed my hands over hers and realized they were as cold as her furniture. After she cried for a while, noticing her grip on me weaken, I turned and hugged Du Lei, who was still sobbing. "We can talk about it tomorrow. You're tired, go to sleep! I'll stay here with you."

Du Lei nodded and I pushed her into the room to lie down on the bed, covering her with a light blanket. "Sleep! I won't leave," I said.

She closed her eyes painfully and nodded, a tear sliding down her cheek. She finally fell asleep, her small hand still clutching mine. Looking at her peaceful sleeping face, I finally understood the bad feeling that had flashed through my mind.

"Sigh..." I sighed deeply.

Despite trying to convince myself with a multitude of explanations and a long list of reasons, the facts, when confronted with the truth, rendered all my explanations superfluous.

I've fallen in love with Durex. I spent

a sleepless night; every time I closed my eyes, I saw Durex's crying face.

What's going on?

When she called me that day,

wasn't she happily telling me about going shopping with her boyfriend?

Weren't they supposed to have dinner together?

What happened? Did her boyfriend break up with her? Or did his wife find out?

Or was she seen by an acquaintance? Maybe even her family or former colleagues saw her?

My mind is a mess. Shouldn't she be coming home happy? Who made her cry herself to sleep? What happened? Who bullied her?

Looking at her sleeping face, so peaceful, perhaps only in sleep can she forget all her unpleasantness!

My fingers gently trace her face, feeling that long-lost touch; when did I fall in love with her? When she brought me a late-night snack after I worked overtime last time? When she took me home on orientation day? Was it when she asked me to have breakfast the next day? Or when she asked me to "negotiate" on the rooftop? Or even earlier, when I found out she was my colleague? Maybe... I was already attracted to her when she asked me "Alone?" in the pub.

It's terrifying, I suddenly have this feeling. Have I been deceiving myself all along? Constantly telling myself I wouldn't fall in love with anyone again, demanding that I not build deep relationships with anyone, making up a bunch of excuses to cover up any doubts... but all my defenses were shattered by a single tear from Du Lei.

Everything was already obvious, but I refused to admit it.

Discovering I'm in love with Du Lei doesn't help the current situation at all. I've just fallen in love with someone who doesn't love me back. Not only that, but I may never be able to let her know I love her. To her, I'm just a trustworthy friend. Even though she might lean on me when she's vulnerable, it doesn't mean I have a chance to "upgrade" from friend to lover or even partner.

As dawn broke, I was so exhausted I could barely keep going. I went to the living room, sat on the sofa, and dozed off for a bit. I don't know how long I slept, but when I opened my eyes, I saw a blanket on me. I immediately jumped up from the sofa and rushed into Du Lei's room.

"Du Lei!" I opened the door—she wasn't there! Not there? Not there! Where did she go? Where did she go?

I searched the house inside and out, but she wasn't home. "What should I do?" I tried to calm down and think things through, but I still couldn't figure out what to do. "Right! Call her!" I quickly dialed Du Lei's phone, but it rang in the room, much to my dismay.

While I was still at a loss, I heard the door open. "Du Lei!" I shouted, rushing over and hugging her tightly, ignoring the things she was holding.

"Where did you go? I woke up and you weren't here. I was so worried, you know?"

Du Lei's silvery laughter rang out. "Don't be nervous. I just borrowed your car to buy breakfast." She laughed and pushed me away from my overly nervous state, waving the fried dough sticks and sesame flatbread in her hand.

This was really embarrassing.

I smiled sheepishly, took the breakfast from her and placed it on the table. "Why didn't you leave a note? You made me worry for nothing!"

I couldn't help but say a few words.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," Du Lei said casually.

"Look at me," she said, holding my face and making me look at her directly.

"I'm fine, really."

I knew she wasn't referring to buying breakfast. I pushed her hand away, unable to look at her any longer. If I looked any longer, I might steal a kiss on her beautifully curved lips; if I looked any longer, I might lose control and blurt out "I love you."

"Eat up!" Du Lei busied herself taking the breakfast out of the bag. "Eat it while it's hot!"

I munched on my sesame seed cake, stealing glances at her out of the corner of my eye. There were no traces of last night's tears on her face, and her expression was normal. I didn't know where to begin asking her questions.

"Why were you crying yesterday?" I thought for a long time, but instead of waiting for an opportunity, I decided to be direct.

Du Lei's expression stiffened for a moment, her eyes fixed on the ground. "Nothing. Just tired."

"Liar."

"Fine, don't believe me then." Du Lei replied coldly.

I found it unbelievable. She was fine just a moment ago, so why did her expression suddenly revert to the coldness she had when we were talking on the rooftop? Why was she only showing this aloof expression now?

"Anyway, it's my fault for meddling!" Hearing Du Lei's reply, all the questions that had been building up inside me burst out: "Who asked me to pick you up from the airport? Who said they wanted me to be the first person they saw after getting off the plane? Who considers me a good friend? Who cried like that yesterday? I'm meddling, huh? Fine! Meddling is meddling, you think I like to interfere? Fine, I won't interfere anymore! From now on, I don't care whether you live or die!"

In a fit of anger, I threw down my half-eaten breakfast, grabbed Du Lei's car keys from the table, slipped on my shoes, and stormed out.

I returned home fuming, not wanting to do anything, and went straight to sleep; I had stayed up all night watching over Du Lei, but this morning I was still seething with anger, and only sleep could give me some comfort.

I slept soundly, and when I woke up it was already evening. Wow! I only have less than eight hours left on my weekend!

I turned on the lights and sat alone in the living room, lost in thought.

I really hoped I wouldn't think about Du Lei anymore, but my mind just wouldn't cooperate and kept wandering.

Was I being too impulsive? I really wanted to know every detail of her trip to America, but I think it was just to satisfy my own curiosity, not because I genuinely wanted to hear from her or understand her feelings… That's why I got so angry when I waited all night and Du Lei didn't say anything!

"Should I call Du Lei and apologize?" I hesitated; "Or should I let her rest a little longer?" In the end, I decided that if Du Lei wasn't willing to tell me, then I'd better not ask.

Regardless, this is a problem she has to face herself, especially since I have to pretend to be a "good friend" in front of her.

I went to the office on Monday, but Du Lei still hadn't come in by 10 a.m. "What's going on?" I started to get anxious. Did she ask for leave? But I didn't hear any other colleagues receiving calls from Du Lei asking for leave...

"Ding..." I was startled. It was my phone ringing. Wei Cheng had been startled by my "Bumblebee" ringtone more than once. I even laughed at him for being "unrefined" and not recognizing this world-famous song. Now he was even startled by himself. It's time to change the ringtone.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Mr. Zhang Yuning...?" The caller's voice was unfamiliar; it sounded like a middle-aged woman, and from her hesitant tone, I knew my name was probably mistaken for a woman's again.

"Yes, who is this?" I replied politely.

"Oh, do you know Miss Du Lei? I'm her landlady!"

"Du Lei's landlady? Why would her landlady call me?"

I was puzzled. "I... I know her! What's the matter?"

"Oh... Miss Du is in the hospital now!" The landlady seemed hesitant to speak.

"Ah? The hospital?" My voice unconsciously rose, and I stood up abruptly. My colleagues stared at my unusual behavior, all dumbfounded.

"That Miss Du... well... she took too many sleeping pills!"

"What?" My mind went blank. What happened? Was it suicide? Or did I accidentally eat too much? I asked the landlord about the hospital where Du Lei was, hung up the phone, turned off the computer, hurriedly packed my things, and got a sick leave slip from the manager. The manager had just heard my screaming and asked what happened.

"Manager, I'm so sorry! My mother passed away, and I need to go home!" Oh dear, Mom, I'm so sorry! Your unfilial grandson has no choice but to ask you to rise from your grave and die again!

"Oh, that's really..." the manager said considerately. "Go back quickly! Don't worry about the company."

I got into the taxi and rushed to the hospital emergency room. I asked the receptionist for Du Lei's location, turned a corner, and ran inside—

Du Lei was lying peacefully on the hospital bed, an IV drip in her arm. A slightly plump middle-aged woman sat beside the bed, presumably the landlady who had just made the phone call.

The landlady noticed someone behind her, turned around, and saw me standing at the door. "Mr. Zhang?" She approached me, put her finger to her lips, indicating that I shouldn't be too loud, and gestured for me to come outside.

"What's going on?" I was really anxious and couldn't help but ask as soon as I reached the corridor.

"I don't know what happened either," the landlady said, looking at me. "I had arranged with her to collect the rent on Sunday night. I called her before I went to see her yesterday, and strangely enough, the phone rang for a long time before she answered, but no one spoke. Then I heard something like something falling to the ground. I called Miss Du's name, but she didn't answer!"

The landlady swallowed and continued, "Actually... because someone in my family almost died from overdosing on sleeping pills, so I..." I became more alert. Something seemed off, so I went to look for her. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. Luckily, I had the key. As soon as I opened the door, I saw her lying on the floor. I quickly called 119 and had her brought over! The doctor said it was okay since we found her early; a stomach pump would do the trick. This morning, Ms. Du woke up briefly, and I asked her if she wanted to notify anyone. She said your name, so I checked her phone and found your number!

A wave of guilt washed over me. "If it was my fault…" I thought, blaming myself.

"Landlady, thank you so much! Thank you for saving her life!" I was so moved I almost knelt down and kowtowed.

"Oh, it's nothing!" The landlady waved her hand, revealing a warm smile. "Miss Du has been renting from me for several years, just like my own daughter! It's only right that I take care of her! Besides, if something really happened to her, from my perspective as the landlord, wouldn't I be unable to rent this place out in the future? Right?"

"Then the medical expenses..." I took out my wallet.

"Oh, you silly girl! Didn't I tell you that Miss Du is like my daughter? It's only right for a mother to pay for her daughter's doctor's visit, don't be shy, don't be shy!" The landlady pressed down on my hand as I took out my money, saying very generously.

"Thank you, thank you." I couldn't think of anything else to say besides thank you.

"I don't know what your relationship is with her," the landlady sighed, "but the fact that she wants to contact you at a time like this means you're important to her. Talk things out calmly, don't threaten suicide like this... it's not good!"

"I know, thank you." I nodded.

"Since you're here, I'll go back now. Remember, talk things out calmly!" The landlady said, turning and leaving the emergency room.

I returned to the bedside. Du Lei lay on the hospital bed, her face still pale. I looked at her with heartache, recalling the first time we met on the rooftop.

"If I hadn't kept a close eye on her, she might have just disappeared..." I muttered to myself.

Du Lei, can you give me some answers? Stop bombarding me with endless questions?

Du Lei finally woke up, perhaps still disoriented, her eyes darting around, looking left and right, before finally focusing on me.

"Yu Ning..." she whispered my name.

"I'm here." I took her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?"

"The hospital."

"I... I feel like I slept for a long time!" Du Lei struggled to sit up, and I quickly helped her sit up.

"Mm." I nodded.

Du Lei took some time to gather her thoughts, and then seemed to remember why she was there. She looked at me, her emotions rising, and her eyes gradually filled with tears. "I..."

"It's okay, don't be afraid, it's alright." I hugged her, comforting her gently.

"It was your landlady who thought something was wrong with you and rushed you to the hospital. She called me this morning and that's when I found out you were in trouble. But it's okay, as long as you're safe, it's alright, it's alright."

Actually, I was the one who needed comforting more!

When I got the call this morning, I was terrified. All I wanted was to get to the hospital quickly. Not only did I nearly die from fright, but I also forgot I drove here and wasted money on a taxi. I had to keep my mouth shut, otherwise my heart might have jumped right out of my mouth. Seeing that Du Lei was safe and sound, I finally felt relieved.

What I'm more worried about now is what if I dream about Mom when I sleep tonight...

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." Du Lei rested her head on my shoulder, sobbing incessantly, repeating the words "I'm sorry" over and over again.

"Okay, okay... it's alright." My dear, don't cry, it makes me want to cry too! I let go of Du Lei, took out a tissue to wipe the tears from her face, "How are you feeling now? The doctor said that as long as you feel okay, you can go home."

"I..." Du Lei's voice was still weak and powerless.

"It's okay, don't force yourself. Just take care of yourself, don't worry about anything else." I stopped asking her for anything. Rather than experiencing the pain of losing her, it was enough for me to be by her side like this. As for the things I wanted to know, they were meaningless to me now, unless Du Lei herself wanted to tell me.

Although I still wanted to know why she had to risk her life.

"I want to go home," Du Lei shook her head, "I'm so tired, but I want to go home."

"Then let's go back." I picked up her shoes and helped her put them on, then helped her slowly leave the hospital. When

we got back to her house, we realized that neither of us had a key; of course, I didn't, and neither did Du Lei, who had been taken to the ambulance. We had to call the landlady and ask her to come over.

I let Du Lei sit on the motorcycle parked by the roadside to rest. Her head rested against my chest, and I had to hold her tightly, otherwise she might fall off in no time.

Watching her close her eyes and pretend to sleep, my hand gently stroked her hair. Right now, I couldn't think of anything but letting her rest.

But... "What should I do?" I asked silently. She always said it so confidently, wanting to see me, wanting to see me, wanting to see me, but in her heart, I was "just" a good friend. "Forget him!" How many times had I wanted to tell her that, but reality... there were too many things that wouldn't allow it.

I saw the landlady jogging towards me in the distance.

"Sorry to trouble you to come all this way," I said.

"It's nothing," the landlady said as always, "How is Miss Du? Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, much better. I'll let her get some more sleep when we go upstairs." I picked up Du Lei and prepared to go upstairs.

The landlady opened the door for us, and I carefully placed the sleeping Du Lei on the bed and backed out.

"Asleep?" The landlady seemed quite worried.

"Asleep." I nodded.

"Sigh... well... as long as she's alive, good things will surely come!" The landlady said something very encouraging and endearing.

"I'll go back later and get her something to nourish her. You'll be staying, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll come back later."

After seeing off the enthusiastic landlady, I went into the room and sat down beside Du Lei's bed.

"Forget him, okay? He doesn't deserve your kindness, and he's not someone you should love.

Have you thought about who's hurting you the most by hurting yourself like this?" I whispered, though she couldn't hear me, I still wanted to say it to her face; but as I spoke, I couldn't help but cover my face and sob. "Where do you put me?"

In the evening, the landlady brought over a pot of steaming fish soup, so tender it was almost falling apart, the aroma of fish, ginger, and wine making it incredibly appetizing. Just looking at it made it look delicious. No

sooner had the landlady left than Du Lei strolled out of the room.

"You're awake?" Her face was noticeably rosier, and she seemed much more energetic.

"Hmm. I woke up when the landlady came, but I was too shy to come out and talk to her." Du Lei slowly walked to the living room and sat on the sofa.

"Oh. Are you hungry? The landlady just brought over a pot of fish soup, it looks delicious! Would you like some? Otherwise, you haven't eaten anything, and your body won't be able to handle it."

I took a bowl, ladled some soup, and brought it to her.

"Thank you." Du Lei finally smiled. She ate a few bites and couldn't help but praise it enthusiastically: "It's so delicious! I haven't tasted this kind of mom's cooking in so long!"

Seeing her smile like a child, a huge weight was lifted from my heart; the Du Lei I knew was finally back.

Du Lei quickly "finished" two bowls of fish soup, then, as if remembering something, stammered, "That day... I'm sorry..."

"That day?" I teased her, "Which day? You've wronged me about so many things, which one is it?"

"I..." Du Lei was taken aback by my retort, her cheeks, flushed from the hot soup, now even more beautiful.

I got up and walked over to her, sitting down beside her, and hugged her tightly again. "Don't let it happen again, I was really scared to death; if you really... just leave like this, what am I supposed to do?" I finally couldn't hide my excitement, my whole body trembling uncontrollably.

"Yu Ning?" Du Lei was startled by my reaction, her hands hovering in mid-air, unsure what to do. After a moment, I felt them gently resting on my back, and I hugged her tighter.

"I'm sorry, I promise it will never happen again, I'm sorry..." Du Lei said, and soon my shoulder was wet with her tears.

I let go of her. "Don't cry. You haven't done anything wrong to me." I wanted to wipe the tears from her face, but looking at her, I realized once again how deeply I loved her, a depth far exceeding my own imagination and far exceeding the weight I could bear. I lowered my head and gently kissed away her tears.

"Yu Ning!" Du Lei was surprised by my actions, but she was a smart woman and immediately understood my feelings for her. "I'm not worthy..." she said, and then started crying again.

"No one is more worthy than you." I used my lips to catch the tears on her face. Du Lei closed her eyes and let my lips gently linger on her face; one drop, two drops, three drops... my lips lightly touched the corner of her mouth. She realized I wanted to kiss her and immediately turned her face away.

"No... I just ate fish... it smells fishy..."

I then realized that Du Lei blushed very easily, and when she blushed, she looked like an apple. "It's okay..." I gently turned her face back. "Anyway, that fish looked delicious."

Du Lei smiled and wanted to say something, but I quickly sealed all her words with my lips. Gently prying open her teeth, I found the softness and fragrance inside her mouth,

as if trying to suck out all the air from her body, I plundered her with an extremely aggressive kiss.

My body gradually heated up, from my toes to my heart, and the desire within me stirred, making my whole body itch, my breathing and heartbeat completely out of control.

A kiss was just a small prelude.

"I love you..." I finally said it, my lips not forgetting to lightly touch hers.

Seeing her lips red and swollen from my kisses, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment; my hands were already restless, roaming up and down her back, "Ah! She's lost weight!" I thought to myself.

"Yu Ning..." Du Lei's mind went blank from my kisses, and she could only call my name, unable to say anything else.

"I want you." My mind was equally blank; at that moment, I could only give in to my body's desires.

Hearing my bold confession and explicit invitation, Du Lei's cheeks turned as red as apples, almost as red as a boiled shrimp.

She pressed her hands against my chest, shaking her head violently, "No."

"No?" I hadn't expected her to answer like that. The sperm that was about to rush to my brain instantly died out, and the reason I was about to abandon held back at the last moment.

"You have no idea what kind of person I am. I don't deserve to love or be loved by others, I don't deserve it!"

She started crying, pushed me away forcefully, and stood up, shouting loudly.

"What are you saying?" I asked, holding her hand. "What are you saying?"

"He doesn't want me anymore... He said he doesn't love me anymore..." Du Lei's tears streamed down her face, and she cried uncontrollably.

I couldn't help but feel resentment towards many things. I resented the man who had abandoned me after starting something, and I also resented my own recklessness, only caring about satisfying my own desires, forgetting why Du Lei wanted to take her own life.

I pulled Du Lei to sit down beside me, letting her rest her head on my shoulder, and didn't forget to bring over the tissue box on the table for her to use.

"Say it! Say whatever you want to say!" I pulled out a tissue and stuffed it into her hand.

"I thought he really wanted to divorce his wife..." Du Lei said between sobs.

"I was so happy when he accompanied me shopping that day. I had been waiting for this moment for so long. We bought so many things together... and went to so many beautiful places... He said he was very busy and only had time to accompany me on Tuesday nights... Later I found out... it was all just an excuse..."

"Hmph! I told you that man was no good!" I thought to myself.

"Tuesday night... he stayed overnight at my hotel, I was so happy, he kept saying he missed me, he said he missed me so much..." Du Lei became excited again,

"He disappeared early Wednesday morning, leaving only a note asking me to have dinner together that night, of course I understood, he had to work and was very busy; when we met that night, he said that I actually didn't love him anymore... What the hell... If I didn't love him, why did I go to America to find him? He's crazy... And he also said that his wife was pregnant... He thought breaking up was better for both of us... That's when I realized... he didn't want me anymore..." Du Lei leaned her head on my shoulder and cried bitterly.

"If you don't love me, fine! Why didn't you just say so!..." Du Lei said indignantly, "He even said he didn't love his wife... He didn't love her but got her pregnant... What is this... What am I... He asked me to go, so I went... Why treat me like this..." As she spoke, tears started flowing down her cheeks like a broken faucet.

I caught a glimpse of the hidden meaning in Du Lei's words, "I don't love him anymore?" I wondered why that man would come to such a conclusion. But... should I be happy for Du Lei regaining her freedom, or heartbroken for her emotional setback?

"I really couldn't stay a day longer. I just wanted to go home as soon as possible. I was so happy to see you at the airport... but I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't want you to worry. I messed up my words and made you angry again. I cried all day at home. I was so sad... why did this happen? I really don't know what to do... I was so confused..." Du Lei covered her face and cried, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's alright, it's alright..." I hugged Du Lei tightly. "It's all alright now. It's okay that he doesn't love you, as long as I love you. Don't talk about being unworthy or not. He doesn't want you, he's blind, understand? Don't belittle yourself. You're the best in my heart, you know?" Although taking advantage of someone's vulnerability is a petty thing to do,... sometimes you have to be a petty person.

Du Lei reached out and hugged me, crying even harder. "How could he say I don't love him? He was the one who stopped loving me first..."

"Why would he say that?"

"I don't know, I don't know... how would I know..."

"Alright, alright..." I stroked her hair. "Then I love you, okay?" I was so petty, saying such things when she was sad.

"Mmm." Du Lei looked up, like a helpless child, and then hugged me again.

"Don't leave me alone anymore... Everyone abandons me... I've had enough..." What? She got her way? Is it for real or not? I felt a little smug, but I really didn't know if Du Lei truly understood what I meant. "Then... can I love you?"

"Mmm."

Embracing Du Lei's soft, warm body, my semen couldn't help but start climbing again. "Hey! No!" I warned my little brother, "Not today!" Although I wouldn't call myself a gentleman, I couldn't be so utterly despicable! Despite

my efforts to persuade Du Lei to rest for another day, she still insisted on going to work. She was fine with it; when faced with questions from her colleagues, she could easily brush them off with excuses like "a cold." I was in trouble.

When the manager asked about my family situation, I stammered, "Uh... wrong, we thought Mom had passed away, but then... she woke up again... yes..." Even I sounded a bit awkward saying it. Mom, I really didn't mean it, really... please forgive me this time for your grandson's happiness, and please don't come looking for me tonight...

Hearing my colleagues chattering about her experiences in America, I felt incredibly worried. This was undoubtedly forcing her to relive everything she didn't want to remember.

Du Lei smiled and offered everyone chocolates she'd bought in America. She pretended everything was alright, but to me, it evoked a bittersweet feeling. Did

she really want to accept me? How much of what I said was true? Even though I've verbally agreed, what's she really thinking? Can she accept another man's love? Is she willing to open her heart? Can I really go from being a good friend to a boyfriend? Will she suddenly give me a "friend zone" card and kick me out? Where does she really place me in her heart? In her heart… sigh!

The more I think about it, the more questions arise. Seeing me staring at Du Lei so intently, Wei Cheng waved his hand in front of my face, pulling me back to reality.

"I have a question for you. Be honest, and don't try to distract me." His tone was serious, so serious that it was completely different from his usual sunny, somewhat ditzy image.

"What's wrong? Why so serious?" I suddenly felt a bit annoyed; could it be that his mother had possessed him? He came to question me about why I dug her up when there was nothing wrong, and why I wouldn't let her die.

"You and Du Lei... is there something going on?" Wei Cheng deliberately lowered his voice, but to me, it seemed like the whole office could hear him.

"What are you talking about? She and I are just colleagues..." I tried to change the subject.

"Hey, don't try to talk me out of it. Do you really think I'm some healthy, happy, sunny, naive fool? You often stare at Du Lei in a daze, and Du Lei often smiles at you, and it's not just in 'business mode' where other colleagues can't see it. I sit next to you every day, it's hard not to see." Wei Cheng was annoyed by my attitude, so he simply told me everything he had seen.

"I..." What could I say? There were too many things between Du Lei and me that I couldn't tell outsiders.

"It's fine if you don't say anything," Wei Cheng shrugged. "Anyway, it's between you and her, I can't interfere. But I saw her talking to the manager for a long time today, I don't know what they were talking about. But if I find out one day that Du Lei has resigned, you better be on your guard. If you dare to steal my fun at work, you're dead!" Wei Cheng pulled my earlobe and warned me in a low voice.

"Okay!" I touched my innocent ear. "Actually, you're the captain of Du Lei's personal guard, aren't you?" Wei Cheng shrank back into his seat and just gave me the middle finger.

Back to my daily work routine, I'm still a programmer, still with endless code to write. For some reason, I'm really bothered by what Weicheng said about Du Lei talking to the manager. What could possibly take so long? Could it be… that Du Lei really wants to resign? But that's unlikely. She still has several cases on hold and can't find a replacement right away, so she probably won't resign. Even if she did, that passionate manager wouldn't easily let go of such a great programmer like Du Lei, and… she didn't tell me anything.

Du Lei and I have been wasting another week like this. Apart from meeting in the office, we've barely had a chance to talk.

It's actually quite funny. Phone calls are so convenient, the internet is so convenient, and I know where she lives. I can meet and talk to her anytime I want. But I still had doubts. Had she taken my confession that day as a joke? Was her acceptance just a perfunctory reply? Even if we met in person, I wouldn't know what to say...

I hadn't spoken to Du Lei all day, and when I got home that night, I felt hot and tired. I ate something quick for dinner, watched TV, flipping the remote control around and around, but finally gave up and went to my room to find some funny articles to cheer myself up. Just as I was getting a stomachache from reading an online joke, the doorbell rang.

"Coming, coming..." I ran to the door in my slippers to open it.

"Du Lei? What brings you here?" I didn't expect it to be her, and I froze on the spot.

Du Lei stepped forward and hugged me. "I missed you so much."

Although I didn't think she was being completely truthful, I was still secretly pleased. "Come inside and we'll talk!" I noticed she was carrying a small bag, one I hadn't seen before. "What's wrong? Why so suddenly?" I asked.

"Would you like something to drink?" I opened the refrigerator and rummaged around.

"No, thank you."

"Oh." I returned to the living room. Du Lei still looked a little tired; it seemed the problems between us wouldn't be resolved so quickly.

"So... what brings you here today? Did you really just miss me?" I joked, but her expression didn't hold back.

"Could I... stay? I... brought my work clothes for tomorrow..." Du Lei hugged me again, her face turning bright red from her neck to her ears as she spoke.

"You..." I swallowed hard. "Do you know what you're saying?"

"I want to be with you tonight," Du Lei said slowly.

"Do you really know what you're saying?" I cupped her face in my hands, asking again to confirm.

"Do you know how serious the consequences are of saying things like that to a man?"

"I know what I'm doing." Du Lei pulled my hand away and kissed me without a word.

I quickly regained control, pressing her down on the sofa. After kissing her lips until they were red and moist, I showered her forehead, earlobes, and the hollow of her neck with countless soft, delicate kisses.

"Ah..." I bit Du Lei's earlobe and licked it lightly with the tip of my tongue, causing her to let out a beautiful moan.

I removed her t-shirt and bra, and slowly kissed her collarbone and the skin of her chest. My hands cupped her beautiful breasts, my fingers restlessly kneading the two small nipples. Watching them swell and stand erect, Du Lei's expression became excited, but she still gently bit her lower lip, seemingly suppressing any sound.

I pressed my lips to hers again, letting my tongue roam freely in her mouth. "Say it, it's okay, I like to hear it," I whispered in her ear.

"Mmm..." Du Lei's starry eyes half-opened, her lips parted slightly, and an irresistible sound escaped.

I pulled off her skirt and rubbed her vulva through her panties. The moment my hand touched her delicate skin, I could feel the wetness between her legs. I slipped my fingers inside her panties, wantonly teasing her clitoris. "Ah...no..." she cried, squeezing her legs together, unaware that this would intensify the pleasure.

"It's too late to say anything now." My fingers continued their work, feeling her love juices gush out, her skin tinged with a beautiful, cherry-blossom-like color.

I removed her panties, soaked with her love juices, and gently parted her legs, revealing her warm passage to me. I lowered my head, my tongue exploring her honeyed depths, and Du Lei's sensitive body immediately reacted intensely.

"Ah...ah...no...ah...I can't take it anymore..." she screamed, trying to escape, but her body's reaction went against her desires. The more she writhed, the wetter she became, the more conducive it was to what was about to happen.

"Ah..." Her body contracted unusually, she had orgasmed.

My tongue left the warmth of her lower body, and I carried the panting Du Lei into the room. The sofa was too small, making it uncomfortable.

"Open your eyes and look at me," I said.

I straddled her, removing all my clothes, wanting Du Lei to see clearly who I really was.

Perhaps it's a man's selfishness; even knowing he might be a substitute, a stuntman should still have a name.

Du Lei's eyes were half-open. "Ning..." she whispered my name.

I kissed her, one hand exploring her wetness. Just a light press of my fingertip against her clitoris was enough to excite her. I inserted my finger into her honeypot, deliberately slowing the thrusting. I wanted her to crave me; I wanted to draw out all her hidden desires.

"Ah... um... ahh... I... um... faster..." The sounds she made were the best aphrodisiac, making my desire swell to almost unbearable levels.

I wanted her so much; every minute of restraint was another minute of torture. I slightly raised her hips, and my penis entered her body without resistance.

"Ah..." Du Lei sighed softly, her brows furrowing slightly, her expression both endearing and pitiful; I thrust passionately inside her, watching her beautiful body sway with my movements, and unconsciously increased the depth and speed.

"Ah...ah...so deep...I can't take it...it's going to break..." Du Lei let out a mesmerizing moan, her legs clamping even tighter around my waist.

I lifted her up, raising her back slightly, naturally narrowing her vagina, doubling the pleasure with each thrust.

"No...no...uh...ah...no...ah ah..." she cried out, soon reaching her second orgasm.

"Oh..." I groaned comfortably, "Almost there... I'm coming... Oh..." I felt myself about to ejaculate and tried to pull my penis out before I did, but Du Lei stopped me. Before I could react, "Ah..." I ejaculated inside her.

"Today... is a safe period... it's okay..." Du Lei was covered in sweat and panting.

I leaned down to kiss her again, and Du Lei's hands caressed my chest, her fingertips touching me inch by inch. I realized then that a woman's fingers could make a man sexy, and that being touched was something irresistible.

"Ah..." My desire began to rise again. "You'll make me want it again." I didn't want to tire her out.

"It's okay, I want it." She pushed me down onto the bed, reached out and grasped my penis, stroking it. When I felt my lower body starting to burn, Du Lei lifted her hips and sat on top of me.

"Ah..." We both groaned almost simultaneously. Du Lei swayed her hips, seemingly satisfied with this position where she could control the speed, angle, and depth. Her hair flew up and down sensually, and her beautiful breasts swayed violently. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh symbolized the frequency of burning desire. "Ah...ah...so good...I can't take it anymore...um..." she cried out passionately. "Ah...it's coming again...ah..."

Du Lei seemed particularly passionate today. After I ejaculated inside her for the second time, we were both too exhausted to continue. I lay down on my side, holding Du Lei in my arms, and fell asleep naked.

When I woke up, I looked around in a panic. "Thank goodness you're still here." I breathed a sigh of relief. Du Lei was still beside me, looking at me. "I thought you were gone."

"I won't leave," Du Lei said sweetly, burying her face in my chest.

For the next two weeks, we acted like any other couple. Although we worked at the same company during the day and pretended nothing was wrong, after work, Du Lei transformed into my lover. We ate together, chatted, and made love.

I was still a little uneasy, afraid that it was all just a mirage, an illusion. For some reason, every time I looked at Du Lei's back, I felt an indescribable sense of transparency, as if her figure was slowly dissolving into the air, becoming transparent…

That Saturday, Du Lei stayed at my place again. We had several intense sexual encounters. As usual, I held her as we fell asleep, feeling each other's presence through body heat.

When I rubbed my eyes and woke up, Du Lei was gone.

"Lei Lei?" I searched the house inside and out; she was gone, truly gone, transparent.

I tried calling her cell phone, but it always went to voicemail; I rang her doorbell at her house, but no one answered. I searched all day, but still found nothing. I had no idea who her friends were...

It wasn't until Monday, when the manager told me that Du Lei had been transferred to the Kaohsiung branch, and that she had requested the transfer herself. She had applied for this before she even went to the US.

Why? What was all that tenderness and lingering affection of the past few weeks? Was it a farewell gift? I feel like my heart has been ripped apart. Didn't she say she wouldn't leave? Why can't she stay by my side? Haven't I loved her enough? Why did she leave me with only unanswered questions in the end?
I still tried to contact her, but that was just calling, texting, and emailing; but no one answered the phone, I don't know if she saw the texts, and she didn't reply to the emails. I had considered calling the Kaohsiung branch office directly, but perhaps I only have half the courage of others. I didn't have the guts to call, and I was even more afraid that she would hang up on me as soon as she heard my voice.

That day, when I got home, I found a letter in the mailbox. Although the sender wasn't listed, the postmark was from Kaohsiung, so it was 300% from Du Lei.

I quickly pried open the seal; even if there was a bomb inside, I didn't care.

"Yu-Ning: I'm so sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. You probably know about my trip to Kaohsiung! I've been working on the transfer for a while now, but it wasn't confirmed until I got back from the US. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I'm sorry. You might think I only became your lover for two weeks to make up for what I felt guilty about. If that's what you think, I don't blame you, but that's not true. Every moment I spent with you is a precious treasure to me, a beautiful memory I can never give up or forget. The reason I want to leave Taipei is because there are too many memories of him here. Staying here will only make me weaker. By the way, 'his' name is Jia-Lun."

Perhaps Jialun is right. I stopped loving him a long time ago; I just can't let go of everything I've given. And, undeniably, you've already taken up residence in my heart, holding a very important place within it. Whether I'm happy or sad, thankfully you're always there. Having a reliable arm to lean on is such a blessing. I know you truly love me, and I've considered whether to let things develop naturally with you. But I don't know if I'm just throwing myself into your arms to forget Jialun. If that's the case, then I'm truly pathetic.

After meeting you, I truly understand what it feels like to be loved and protected. This feeling is addictive, so I can't continue being so willful. The job transfer gives us some time and space to rethink things, especially for me.

Faced with your wholehearted love, I need to weigh whether I'm capable of bearing it. I don't ask you to wait for me, nor do I have any demands. I hope you're doing well and happy. After I've thought things through, I'll naturally come to find you; perhaps by then you'll have resigned and gone somewhere else, but I'm confident I can find you, as long as you're willing to trust me one more time. Thank you for loving me, and I love you too; even though I can't fully clarify the composition of this love yet. "Du Lei, who truly loves you."

"Du Lei is such a capricious woman..." I clenched my fist tightly, the letter crumpled in my hand.

What good is being loved? As long as it's worthwhile, loving or being loved can be blissful! What use am I in her heart anyway? With an ambiguous position, even the composition of the love is ambiguous. What does "letting each other think it over again" even mean? Only she needs to think. I've already figured it out: in this life, all I want is her. Why can't she understand? The price of two weeks of entanglement is an unknown amount of waiting. If I had known this would happen, I would have preferred to remain her good friend rather than let her leave my side... "Leilei..." I called her name in the empty house.

From that moment on, Du Lei was no longer a part of my life. The feeling that "she would disappear if I didn't keep a close eye on her" gradually faded away. I learned to trust her choice, to believe that one day we would meet again, even if I were at the ends of the earth, as long as she wanted to find me, she would definitely find me. This thought gave me great courage and comfort. Although the person I loved most was not by my side, I did not feel lonely or sad. My "wind cave" seems to have been filled. The old me seems to have died long ago. The lost corner in my heart has been quietly filled by Du Lei. All my efforts now are for the future. I hope that when we meet again, I can become a more reliable man, someone she can truly trust, rely on, and entrust herself to.

I quickly spent a year, two years, three years here... During these years, I haven't contacted Du Lei again. I only occasionally hear her name from colleagues or supervisors. For me, knowing that she is doing well at work and that she is doing well is enough.

Before, she was always waiting. Now, it's my turn to wait for her.

Although I say that I believe Du Lei can find me no matter where I go, I still pretend to be friendly, but actually, I'm clinging to this job like a little jerk, just so that it will be easier for her to find me when she needs to. Another little thing I did was develop a habit of going to the pub every Friday night at 11 pm for two bottles of Heineken; yes, the very pub where I first met Du Lei. The bartenders all recognized me, and as soon as they saw me, they'd bring out the Heineken immediately.

I often reminisced there about everything between Du Lei and me: the first time I saw her, how she held up two glasses of wine and said capriciously, "Come with me!"; the surprised look on her face when she first saw me at the company; the way she drove me home the first time; the first time I heard her talk about herself; the first time I realized I was in love with her; the first time I told her "I love you"; the first time I cried for her… and the passion of our last time we made love… The more I thought about her, the more I loved her; the more I loved her, the more I wanted to see her.

At the same time, in the same spot, drinking the same drinks, I secretly hoped that one day she would come to find me.

I've lost count of how many Fridays it's been, but anyway, I've arrived at this pub on time again. The bartender pulled out a Heineken, still not forgetting his usual teasing: "Here you go again? When are you finally going to show up?" I shrugged. The bartender had heard bits and pieces about Du Lei and me; in his mind, I'd probably be categorized as a pervert!

Except this "pervert" might not be "infatuated," but rather "idiotic."

After finishing the first bottle, the bartender pulled out a second.

I gulped down my drink, thinking that Du Lei was definitely not going to show up today.

The young men and women behind me were squandering their youth with boundless energy, and I quietly watched them sway their youthful bodies to the music, bottle in hand.

"Alone?"

I looked in the direction of the voice and saw a young woman with waist-length hair, wearing a light purple three-quarter sleeve shirt and a matching knee-length A-line skirt. She had a slender figure and was holding two glasses of wine.

"Drink with me!" She placed one of the glasses on the bar.

I looked at it. "Moscow Mule?" I looked at her again and shook my head. I walked closer to her, took the other glass from her hand, placed it on the bar, and instructed the bartender:

"Change both of these to gintonic." I looked at her and couldn't help but scold her: "Don't you know you can't hold your liquor? Moscow Mule? I bet you can't even handle Manhattan! If you want to drink, just drink gintonic!" "

I like Moscow Mule!" she pouted, unconvinced.

"Are you alright?" I rested my chin on my hand.

"If you're drunk, how am I supposed to know what the answer I've been waiting for all these years is?"

The woman in front of me looked at me, her eyes and lips revealing an undisguised smile. She moved closer to me. "I'll only say it once!"

"Okay."

"I love you." She finished quickly, blushing and looking down with a shy smile.

I reached out and hugged her tightly. "Welcome back, Leilei." It

was 11 p.m. Friday night. Normally, I would have been in bed by now.

I don't like staying up late; I feel terrible the next day and end up writing a bunch of buggy programs. And for some reason, looking at Taipei before dawn gives me a sense of desolation and loneliness, so I don't like witnessing that scene.

Today was a little different. I wanted to drink, alone, but I didn't want to drink alone at home.

Office romances can be really troublesome sometimes. Even though my girlfriend cheated on me, I was the one who quit, simply because I didn't want to face her in that environment, her feigned pitifulness, and the whispers from my colleagues.

Breakup, quitting, and finding a new job – it tormented me for months, it was enough to make me suffer.

But today is different.

I'm starting at my new company next Monday, finally able to leave the past behind and start afresh.

I should be happy, but I still feel a little empty inside. I want to drink, but I can't get drunk because no one will take me home.

Nightclubs are fun places; people there seem to squander their youth, they get pleasure, but leave all their loneliness and solitude behind, accumulating more and more.

For me, nightclubs are always lonely places.

Even though they're noisy, dark, and have terrible air quality, and there are always men and women trying to pick me up, it's still a place where I can be alone if I want some peace and quiet.

I sat in the corner of the bar, drinking my second bottle of Heineken tonight.

"Alone?" I followed the sound and saw a woman standing not far from me, holding two glasses of alcohol. She was wearing a light purple three-quarter sleeve shirt and a matching knee-length A-line skirt, her shoulder-length hair already disheveled.

She didn't look like someone who frequented nightclubs.

"Yeah." I looked at her curiously; she seemed a little tipsy.

"Drink with me." She placed one glass on the bar and stylishly shook the other glass in her hand at me.

Looking at the drinks on the bar, "Moscow Mule?" I frowned. She didn't seem like someone who could hold her liquor well, so how could she drink this? I doubt she could even handle Manhattan!

"You're drunk," I said, not really wanting to talk to her.

"One question, drink or not?" she snapped impatiently.

Perhaps it was her attire that clashed with the atmosphere, or perhaps I sensed a hint of loneliness in her eyes besides drunkenness…

I silently took the glass of Moscow Mule.

Was this why she'd approached me? Two lone beasts with the same scent?

She seemed pleased that someone was willing to drink with her, loudly announcing, "One, two, three!" and downing it in one gulp.

After downing a mule, my stomach felt like it was on fire. "I definitely overdid it," I thought.

Looking at the woman, already a little drunk, she was now swaying even more.

Afraid she'd fall, I reached out to support her and helped her sit down.

"Stay with me," she said, truly drunk, speaking like a spoiled little girl.

"You should go home," I said, not wanting to cause trouble.

"Stay with me!" she grabbed my arm, stumbling and falling onto me.

"Where do you live? I'll take you home!"

A surge of anger rose within me. What was going on? Where did this strange woman come from?

I grabbed her hand, and the two of us stumbled out of the pub. "Hey, where do you live?" I hurriedly shoved her into my car, but she just giggled foolishly. I couldn't get any answers from her, and I didn't want to rummage through her purse, so I just prayed I wouldn't get caught by the police as I sped home.

I could have ignored her, let her lie drunk in the pub, let someone take her away, or wait for the bartender to wake her up; but perhaps that feeling of loneliness was too similar and too familiar, and I couldn't abandon her, even though I regretted my meddling after bringing her out...

I helped her upstairs; she smelled strongly of vodka, and the smell almost made me drunk.

I wanted to quickly leave her on the bed and get out of there, but as soon as she entered the room, she forcefully pushed me against the wall and began kissing me wildly.

She was a skilled kisser; her wet, slippery tongue moved as nimbly as a snake, constantly sliding in and out of my mouth, while her hands restlessly groped my chest. I was completely dazed by her kisses, and my lower body began to react.

She seemed to notice my change and provocatively licked my earlobe and the corner of my mouth with the tip of her tongue, all the while saying seductively, "Stay with me..." "

Don't do this!" I tried to push her away, but my body was too weak. It turns out that men can also be forced into sexual acts by women.

She knelt on the floor, deftly unzipped my pants, took out my erect penis, first stroking it with her hand, and then, when it was hard, she actually stuck out her tongue and licked it!

She licked every inch of my penis, from base to tip, before finally putting it in her mouth and sucking.

How could I possibly resist such stimulation? I pressed her head down with both hands, letting my penis remain in her mouth. As her tongue moved, I felt increasingly excited, my heartbeat and breathing becoming erratic.

"Ah..." I groaned softly. Her stroking speed gradually increased. Just as I realized I was about to ejaculate, I tried to pull my penis out of her mouth, but she wouldn't let go. So I had no choice but to ejaculate in her mouth.

Semen spilled from the corner of her mouth, which she gently wiped away with her hand. Her hazy eyes stared at me like she was eyeing prey she had finally caught. She took off my shirt, then her own, removing her bra as well, revealing a pair of snow-white, round breasts. My penis, which had just ejaculated, began to harden again.

She pulled my hand to one of her breasts, while her other hand reached down to my crotch. Now almost completely undressed, she pressed close to me, repeating the same two words: "Stay with me!"

"Stay with me!" she kept repeating.

Since this was the result she wanted, I had no reason to hesitate.

I kissed her roughly, one arm around her waist, the other kneading her breasts forcefully—I had never been this rough with any girlfriend before.

She was very sensitive. My fingers gently circled around her nipples, and

her breasts immediately hardened. Perhaps sensing pleasure, her expression became even more alluring, her body writhing as if begging for my attention.

I removed her skirt and panties, lifted one of her legs, and wrapped it around my waist. My fingers gradually moved downwards, finding her clitoris. I applied pressure to her clitoris, sometimes light, sometimes heavy, sometimes slow, sometimes fast, and her juices flowed freely from her vagina. She let out beautiful moans: "Ah... um... umm..."

Although I was driving her to the brink of ecstasy, her hands continued to stroke my penis. Taking advantage of her distraction, I inserted a finger into her vagina and began to thrust in and out...

"Ah!" she screamed, her hands gripping my shoulders. With each movement of my fingers, her hips swayed involuntarily, her beautiful breasts bobbing up and down. My desire swelled stronger. Just a little longer, I thought. I loved seeing the utterly absorbed expression on a woman's face during foreplay.

"Is it good?" I breathed into her ear. "Do you like it?"

"Mmm..." She was clearly swept up in the waves of desire.

She was completely soaking wet.

I positioned the tip of my painfully erect penis at her vaginal opening, letting only the tip enter, gently rubbing her vulva. Her body writhed even more violently. "Faster..." she gasped, urging me to go in.

"Say 'I want it'!" At this moment, I was no different from a bad guy.

"I want it...I want it...come in quickly...I want it!" Hearing the "command," she didn't hesitate at all, making me wonder if I had picked up an AV actress and brought her home.

I straightened my waist, and my penis immediately slid into her body. She really couldn't wait. Before I could even move, her waist started moving on its own. However, it was difficult for me to exert force in this position. While I was penetrating her, I picked her up and laid her on the dining table. Her two legs were dangling in the air. I grabbed her two legs and started to thrust hard.

"Ah...ah...um...oh...ah ah...don't stop...don't stop..."

She moaned very passionately. Either she was a woman who liked and was used to having sex, or...she really was an AV actress.

"Ah... I can't take it anymore... It's so deep... Ah... I can't take it anymore... I'm going to climax..."

Her voice started to sound like crying, but I knew she wasn't uncomfortable, but rather extremely comfortable.

After thrusting for a while, I felt her orgasm inside me. Soon after, I orgasmed too. Before I could ejaculate, I pulled out my penis and, before I could "shoot" in any other direction, I ejaculated all over her chest... This... isn't this exactly like a porn movie?

After her orgasm, she slumped weakly on the dining table, while I seemed to have sobered up a bit from the release of my desire: "What am I doing! I slept with her without even knowing who she is?"

I was tired, partly from physical exhaustion and partly from being too tense. Relaxing made me feel tired.

But I couldn't just leave her there like that!

I carried her, whether she was tired or drunk, into the bathroom to wash her. I sat her on the edge of the bathtub, with her back to me, and gently lathered her with shower gel.

"Hmph! You've struck gold, not only do you get a slut to have sex with, but he's also giving you a bath!"

Looking at her still dazed state, I couldn't help but complain to myself.

However, this position was really dangerous;

her buttocks were rubbing against my penis, and my hands were wandering over her chest and genitals to clean her. One wrong move and we might be going at it again.

When the water jet hit her genitals, she moved her waist slightly. This movement made my little brother restless. (Hey! Bro, I never knew you were a seven-times-a-night man!)

The small movement caused a chain reaction: she got wet again, and I got hard again.

She started to want it again, writhing uncontrollably. I gently bit her earlobe, caressing her breasts with one hand and kneading her lower body with the other, feeling her love juices overflowing. I stood up, letting her lean forward slightly. This time, I didn't ask her if she wanted it; I entered her directly from behind.

"Ah!" She was probably caught off guard by my sudden action, her expression and body stiffening noticeably. I held her waist, thrusting faster and harder than before, probably hitting her G-spot every time. Her expression became even more wanton than before. "Ah...ah...no...ah..." Her voice echoed in the bathroom, the echo even more arousing. Her body was enveloped in the steamy mist, her entire body a beautiful pink.

Her hands seemed to want to hold onto something, but had nowhere to go, so she could only rub her breasts, which only made her climax faster.

The advantage of making love in the bathroom is that it's convenient to shower. After our second time today, I quickly washed us both thoroughly. I absolutely didn't want to do it a third time. What a joke! I didn't want to die of exhaustion before I was thirty.

I helped her put her clothes back on and let her lie on the bed. I quietly looked at her. Her plain face didn't give the impression of such a passionate performance. Even in her sleep, she exuded a sense of loneliness, a loneliness deeper than mine, so deep that perhaps even she herself didn't realize she was lonely.

After cleaning the floor, I grabbed a blanket and snuggled into the sofa, falling into a deep sleep before I could think of anything else.

I woke up the next day around noon. I sat up and sat there for a while, then found a note on the coffee table. It was from her.

"I'm sorry for the trouble."

I flipped the note over and over. That was it?

The AV actress I'd picked up twelve hours earlier had just vanished.

Just consider it a one-night stand!

Two complete strangers met by chance in a pub, and under the influence of alcohol, they had a physical relationship. That's all; it's not a particularly unusual thing in this city.

But I still remember the feeling of loneliness emanating from every pore of her body.

The weekend passed peacefully. On Monday morning, I went to my new company for my first day of work—a place that only knew my work experience, but nothing about my past.

"Let me introduce our new colleague, Zhang Yuning. He was also a programmer at his previous company. I hope we get along well,"

the engineering manager announced loudly to his colleagues.

"Hello everyone, I'm Zhang Yuning. Zhang is the character for 'bow and long,' Yu is the character for 'beautiful and talented,' and Ning is the character for 'peace and tranquility.' Although my name sounds a bit feminine, I guarantee I'm 100% a man."

This is my usual self-introduction. If there are no surprises, this kind of introduction not only makes it easy for everyone to remember me but also helps to ease the atmosphere.

The manager led me to visit each colleague's seat, shaking hands and greeting everyone. Although there weren't many people in the engineering department, only about ten, it was still a bit tiring to chat with everyone like this.

Finally, I returned to my seat. The manager "appointed" the tall, thin colleague next to me to help me familiarize myself with the environment and job duties.

"My name is Lin Weicheng, just call me Weicheng; feel free to ask me any questions, don't be shy."

Weicheng extended his hand, the strength of his handshake as sunny and warm as his appearance.

Weicheng spent the entire morning showing me around the job duties, including the current case and the programmer's responsibilities. Although the programming tools and languages are similar, the complexity of the programs used in different cases varies, and the program isn't just written; it must undergo repeated testing to determine if it can be delivered.

Before I knew it, it was noon, and my stomach was growling with hunger. Wei Cheng patted my shoulder and said, "Let's eat first! I'll take you to see the other departments

in the company this afternoon." We ate lunch at a noodle shop near the company, and our conversation revolved around my past work experiences.

I'm a rather cautious person, or to put it bluntly, I'm quite calculating. I don't like to reveal too much about myself to someone I've just met. So when Weicheng asked me why I quit my job, I simply said, "The people upstairs were incompetent."

Weicheng, on the other hand, is incredibly sunny. His smile seems to radiate light, and he speaks and thinks directly. "So I can only obediently sit in front of the computer and write code. If it were any other job,"

Weicheng shook his head, "I'd probably be fired in less than three days." He laughed again as he spoke.

I looked at him and smiled wryly. His personality does make him vulnerable, but at least I don't have to worry about someone next door sabotaging me.

The afternoon workday had barely begun when Weicheng dragged me to another floor.

"Ugh! There aren't many girls in the engineering department, and they're all so unwomanly!" he lamented.

I chuckled at his words. "Be careful your female colleagues don't hear you!"

"Oh dear, they've already heard enough to make their ears calloused!" Weicheng shrugged, looking utterly helpless.

As we walked, Weicheng introduced me to the other departments on different floors, even reminding me which floor and which unit had young, attractive women. I realized he wasn't there to explain the company; he was clearly just slacking off and not wanting to work. "You caught me?" he scratched his head. "Programming is tiring!"

Back at my seat, I remembered that one seat was empty when I met everyone that morning. I asked Weicheng, "Did a colleague take the day off?"

"Oh, right! Didn't I just say that the girls in the engineering department are all having a tough time? But there's one exception..." He gestured towards the empty seat.

"That's Du Lei's seat. Du as in Du Fu, Lei as in 'budding flower.' She's a stunning beauty and a wonderful person! And incredibly capable; she can find bugs that others can't!"

Wei Cheng's eyes gleamed with admiration. I teased him mischievously, "What? Praising her like that?"

"Are you kidding me?" Wei Cheng quickly denied.

"I have a girlfriend! And while Du Lei is a great person, that's only in general; if you want to get her, tsk tsk... she'll turn into an iceberg in no time!"

"So arrogant!" Listening to Wei Cheng's description, I couldn't help but frown; I don't like this kind of person, acting like they're so great... My ex-girlfriend, whom I just broke up with, was like that, but in the past I thought it was a girlish charm, cute, until I caught her cheating and she admitted it herself, I realized that I had only romanticized her flaws.

"You've got it wrong! The 'iceberg' I'm talking about isn't the kind that's arrogant on the outside. She just doesn't want an office romance! Besides, she has a boyfriend in America! Why would she even look at us Taiwanese guys?" Wei-cheng hurriedly explained when he saw my misunderstanding.

"Oh." I looked at Du Lei's seat, curiously imagining what she looked like: long, flowing hair, a slender waist? Eyebrows like ink, lips like cinnabar? A charming smile, beautiful eyes? Or... is she actually a fiery character like Wang Xifeng?

When I arrived at the company the next morning, Wei-cheng was already buried in front of the computer. "Wow! So serious!" I jokingly teased him.

"Go away! Serious my foot!" Wei-cheng turned the computer screen towards me.

"A new word game?" I almost fainted.

"Hey, don't look down on the new word chain, okay? I rely on it when my brain is in a mess!" Wei Cheng rolled his eyes at me, his face full of disdain.

I sat down and started munching on my ham and egg sandwich and iced tea. This had almost become my regular breakfast, a habit I developed after living alone. There were tons of breakfast shops, some good, some bad, and some absolutely awful, but the ham and egg sandwiches were usually pretty much the same.

"Hey, Du Lei's here!" Wei Cheng called softly.

I looked up, but only saw her back as she sat down.

"Come on, I'll take you to say hello!"

Wei Cheng ignored the fact that I hadn't finished my sandwich and walked straight towards Du Lei.

I saw him say something to Du Lei, and quickly stuffed the last bite of my sandwich into my mouth. Just as I stood up to walk over, Du Lei stood up and turned to look at me. Her expression froze instantly, and her face turned pale. I almost choked on my sandwich—it

was her! The AV actress I picked up that night!

The lewd and unrestrained scene from that night flashed through my mind. Now, her medium-length hair was neatly tied back, and she was wearing the same shirt and knee-length skirt. I couldn't imagine that she would be the kind of person who would go to a pub to drink with strangers, let alone imagine her enjoying sex with me.

I walked towards her, feigning composure. The oblivious Wei Cheng seemed oblivious to the strange expressions on Du Lei's and my faces. "Yu Ning, this is the Du Lei I told you about yesterday," he said, then continued to Du Lei, "Du Lei, this is our new colleague from yesterday, Zhang Yu Ning."

I extended my hand. "Hello, I'm Zhang Yu Ning. Zhang is the character for 'bow and long,' Yu is the character for 'beautiful and talented,' and Ning is the character for 'peace and tranquility.'"

Du Lei hesitated noticeably, her smile stiff, but she still extended her hand. We shook hands briefly and returned to our seats. Before I sat down, I deliberately glanced at Du Lei. She was still looking in my direction, seemingly forgetting to sit down, and her face remained as pale as paper.

I think I wasn't particularly concerned about Du Lei's situation; rather, I wasn't particularly concerned about her appearance when she was sober.

People are inherently deceptive. I'm not saying everyone deliberately creates a facade to face the world, but undeniably, once we have the awareness that "I am facing the world," we can no longer face others as our true selves. Everyone is like this, only to varying degrees.

I might be more of a disguiser; Wei Cheng, perhaps less.
As for Du Lei, I haven't seen her with her mask on, so I don't know;
but I must say, I was deeply impressed by the lonely messages she sent when she was not fully conscious.

My ex-girlfriend cheated on me for a year, and I caught her. The other person was clearly inferior to me. She cried her eyes out, but showed no intention of getting back together. Disappointed, I angrily confronted her, demanding to know how she could betray me. Her eyes were fixed on the distance, and she said in a hurt tone,

"I'm so lonely."

"You're lonely?" I couldn't understand. "We're together every day, and you say you're lonely?"

"I wasn't someone who got lonely easily at first, but after being with you, I realized your loneliness is a black hole, sucking everything away, leaving nothing. I tried so hard to fill your loneliness, but I just couldn't..."

I was stunned. In the two years we'd been together, this was the first time I'd heard her express her feelings about me, and the first time I realized she was actually a person with her own opinions.

The breakup was inevitable, but I still gave her face; I never mentioned the reason for the breakup, automatically submitted my resignation, and refused any attempts to win her back. After leaving that environment, everything became clear as if scales had fallen from my eyes: I was a drowning man, and to survive, I had to grab onto something,

and my "girlfriend" was my lifeline. This "girlfriend" could actually be anyone.

Even more miraculously, after breaking up with my girlfriend, I discovered I had learned to swim.

Perhaps because of this, facing Du Lei, despite the surprise, I didn't feel awkward. She was just someone in this city carrying a deep-seated loneliness.

And Du Lei, quiet all day, called me on the internal line near the end of her workday.

"This is Du Lei." She deliberately lowered her voice.

"Oh."

"Could you please come to the rooftop in five minutes? I have something to tell you."

"Oh." I replied expressionlessly.

After hanging up, I saw Du Lei immediately leave her seat. She probably didn't want anyone to know she had called me!

Five minutes later, I saved the half-finished program.

"I'm going to the HR office; it seems some data is incomplete." I told Wei Cheng a little lie.

"Oh, go ahead!" The simple-minded Wei Cheng waved his hand dismissively, as if telling me not to disturb his concentration.

I took the elevator to the rooftop, the only legal smoking area in the building, the floor littered with cigarette butts.

Du Lei leaned against the wall with her back to me, her hair loosely tied back and flowing in the wind. I'm not good at describing the scene, but I had a feeling that if I hadn't been watching her closely, she might have simply disappeared.

I watched her quietly for a while, then called out, "Du Lei."

Du Lei turned around, her face showing an expression completely different from her one in the office: no panic, no shock, just calm.

"She's definitely one of us," I thought, slowly walking towards her.

"What do you want to say?" I asked, looking at the rows of office buildings in the distance.

"Last Friday..." she seemed hesitant about how to begin.

"Last Friday?" I picked up where she left off. "You brought me a glass of wine and forced me to drink with you. After you drank it, you got drunk, and then I took you home! You left after you woke up, right?" I only told the main points.

"That's it?" She didn't believe me at all.

"That was the main point. As for the details... well, you kept nagging, saying 'stay with me' all night long; after we got home, you forcibly kissed me, took off my clothes, and raped me! What else do you want to know?"

I looked at Du Lei, whose expression suddenly became tense, her face turning pale and then red.

"I raped you?" Du Lei shouted, then realized she was being too loud and lowered her voice. "I raped you?"

"It's true you took off my clothes first." I emphasized the word "you." "Okay, let me explain in more detail; you kissed me forcefully, aroused me, then took off my clothes and gave me oral sex. After that, you weren't satisfied, so you took off your own clothes, pulled my hand to touch your breasts, and even touched my penis. Of course, we did it! After that, I thought I couldn't just leave you like that, so I helped you take a bath. While I was bathing you, you wanted more, so what could I do? We did it again! But that night it only happened twice, plus the oral sex you gave me, it was only two and a half times, and you forced me to do it all..."

I carefully observed the changes in her facial expressions, which were more exciting than a Sichuan opera face-changing act.

Du Lei's face was flushed crimson by the end. "Stop talking!" she interrupted me loudly.

"You're the one who asked to hear this," I shrugged.

"What do you want?" Du Lei crossed her arms, seemingly prepared for a negotiation.

"I don't want anything." I looked at Du Lei expressionlessly. To be honest, I didn't like her current attitude; not everyone uses someone else's weakness as a weapon.

"Don't want anything?" Du Lei looked incredulous.

"I'm serious." I sighed. "

It was just an accident that we ended up in the same company. I had already decided to work here before I met you, and... just think of it as a one-night stand between two strangers. We'll still be strangers after dawn. I'm not so sinister as to use this as leverage to threaten you. Besides, I only met you today, what's there to threaten me with? Nobody knows about us, and even if they did, it's questionable whether anyone would believe us! For me, what's more important is..."

I paused to gather my thoughts.

"What's more important?" Du Lei's expression had softened considerably, and her hostility towards me wasn't as obvious as before.

"More importantly, why did you come to me at the pub?" I looked at Du Lei. "Why were you wandering around with two drinks, looking for someone to drink with? And why did you come to me? When I saw you drunk at the pub, I thought you were incredibly lonely, so lonely that you needed someone just as lonely to keep you company—yes, that person was me. Then, seeing you asleep, I started to think that loneliness was practically an integral part of you, so deeply ingrained. It just does

n't seem right to me." Du Lei looked at me, silent for a long time. "I think you've been reading too much Haruki Murakami." She said this and turned to leave the rooftop.

Read too much Haruki Murakami?

I shook my head. Don't assume that just because you hear the word "loneliness," it's Murakami's exclusive domain, okay? Actually, I prefer Banana Yoshimoto!

Du Lei is still wary of me.

Although she hasn't spoken to me these past two days, I can tell from her eyes that she still has doubts about me.

That doesn't matter to me, although I admit I'm interested in Du Lei; my interest is based on her hidden side, not her beauty or competence that everyone sees.

On Friday night, the engineering department held a welcome party for me. When I first heard about the welcome party, I was genuinely stunned for a while. I'm not a university student anymore, why are they having a welcome party? However, I'd heard our manager was a lively person, and since eating and drinking together with colleagues did shorten the distance between us, everyone was happy to have the opportunity to eat and drink to their heart's content on company funds. Even though I'm not one to pretend to be close to others, I didn't feel the need to object or question it.

The welcome party was held at a restaurant with private rooms; we booked two tables, and a group of us were making a ruckus inside.

It was quite late when we finished eating, and some colleagues, taking advantage of not having to work the next day, insisted on going out for more. People left in twos and threes, and even the drunken manager took a taxi home.

I was a little too drunk that night, and my head was slightly dizzy, so I couldn't drive home.

Just as I was about to move towards the bus stop—

"Zhang Yuning!" someone called from behind.

I turned around and saw Du Lei.

"What's wrong?" I thought she'd never speak to me again!

"How are you getting home?"

"By bus! It's hard to drive after drinking." I said matter-of-factly.

"I'll take you home!" Du Lei said matter-of-factly as well.

"Take me home? No, no, thank you for your kindness." I quickly refused.

I still vividly remembered the "encounter" of her bringing me to my house last time. Although I had drunk more this time, if I did something to her again, I would be in deep trouble. The first time could be called an "accident," but accidents usually don't happen a second time.

"Where did you park your car?" Du Lei seemed to ignore my refusal.

"You didn't drink?" Right, if she had also drunk alcohol, even just a drop, I could refuse her.

"I didn't drink a drop." My plan seemed to have been seen through by her. "There were a lot of girls at our table, and everyone was drinking tea."

Seeing that most of my colleagues had left, I said without any restraint, "You didn't have to do this."

"It's my freedom to do what I want. I just wanted to take a colleague who had been drinking home, and I found out that we live quite close to each other." Du Lei glanced at me. "What, is that not allowed?"

"That's it?" I asked her.

"What do you think?" She looked directly into my eyes, "Although I have only observed you for three days, I don't think you are a bad person, and, to a certain extent, I admit that we are the same kind. I have thought about what you said to me on the roof that day, and it does make sense. Although the first time we met was not a good one, I still want to thank you."

Du Lei's tone became gentler and her expression became more and more relaxed.

"Are you serious? Didn't you want to take the opportunity to send me home and poison my house?" I deliberately made fun of her.

"Hey, if you want to be poisoned by me, you can queue up behind me!" Du Lei wrinkled her nose at me.

After getting in the car, "No wonder Wei Cheng said you are a good person." I said.

"Oh?" Du Lei raised an eyebrow. "He said that about me?"

"He said you're nice to everyone." I closed my eyes, feeling a little tired.

I heard her sneer and then stop talking; I didn't want to bother with her anymore, even though I still had many questions for her, but... now wasn't the time.

Back at the apartment building, Du Lei insisted on seeing me upstairs. "Thank you, you can go back now." Honestly, I didn't want Du Lei to stay there too long.

Du Lei nodded and stood in the entryway putting on her shoes. "I have a question for you—" she suddenly turned around.

"What?"

"You said my loneliness is very deep-rooted," Du Lei bit her lower lip. "Why do you think that?"

I knew it; even she herself didn't realize she was lonely.

"Just a feeling." That was the truth.

"Oh." Du Lei was clearly not satisfied with my answer.

"Go back quickly, you can drive my car if you want." I urged her again.

Having just ended a relationship, I didn't want to quickly establish a relationship beyond friendship with another woman, especially one lacking an emotional foundation; Du Lei and I had already set a bad precedent, and there couldn't be a second time, especially since I'm not some incredibly rational man.

"Well... lend me your car for now, I'll return it tomorrow."

"Okay. Thank you for driving me home today." I still had to thank her verbally.

After Du Lei went downstairs, I watched her leave from the balcony, my heart filled with complicated feelings. I really wanted to know where her loneliness came from, and I really wanted to ask her why she went to a nightclub she didn't usually go to that day, but... we were just colleagues, and we'd only known each other for a week. No matter what, those questions were too personal; besides, her loneliness should be left to her boyfriend to solve, not me.

"Ring...ring..."

"Who is it? Calling so early in the morning? I haven't had enough sleep yet!"

I heard the phone ringing in my sleep, and being woken up made me annoyed. I was going to ignore it, but the phone seemed to know I was going to ignore it, and the ringing showed no sign of stopping.

"Ugh, so noisy!" I gave up, impatiently kicking off the covers and walking to the living room to answer the phone.

"Hello!" Who is this clueless person?!

"Hello?" Hearing the anger in my voice, the other person's voice became timid: "This is Du Lei."

"Huh?" I was stunned. I didn't expect it to be her, and I didn't expect her to call so early.

"Du Lei? Why are you calling so early?" I glanced at the clock on the wall. "Miss, it's only nine o'clock!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up." Du Lei quickly apologized on the other end of the phone. "I'll bring the car back to you. It's downstairs at your place now."

"What?" I was shocked. I was really defeated by her. "Then... come up!"

Du Lei was wearing a simple t-shirt and jeans, looking somewhat like a student, completely different from her usual shrewd and capable appearance in the office.

"I'm sorry to wake you up." Du Lei quickly apologized when she saw my sleepy and disheveled appearance.

"Ah... it's okay," I waved my hand, telling her not to mind. "I just tend to sleep in later on weekends."

"Oh..." Du Lei didn't seem like she was just there to return the car.

"Come in first, I'll change my clothes and freshen up, I'll be done soon." I thought she still had something to say, so I invited her to sit in the living room first. After she

finished washing up, I went into the kitchen and poured her a glass of water. "What? Is there something else you want to ask me?"

"Ah...yes." Du Lei took a sip of water and licked her dry lips. "I want to ask you...what kind of person do you think I am? And, I feel like you're very wary of me, why? Was my attitude on the rooftop that day too bad?"

"Huh?" Why would someone ask such a nonsensical question so early in the morning?

"I...I actually don't really like to have deep relationships with anyone, so when you told me that Wei Cheng said I'm nice to everyone...I was actually quite surprised."

Du Lei stammered a little.

"Why are you asking me this?"

Du Lei's attitude puzzled me. She was so cold and unapproachable at first, but why was she so kind as to drive me home yesterday? And now she's asking me these strange questions first thing this morning? "I don't know you at all, and I don't really know you. Aren't you being presumptuous?"

I looked at Du Lei. "Why don't you ask some of your more senior colleagues who have known you for a longer time?"

"Precisely because I've known them for a long time, I can't ask them." Du Lei stared at me intently. "I work with a different face."

I looked at her without saying a word. I understood what she meant.

"You're right, I'm lonely. Although I seem very capable, once I leave the office, I'm nothing." Du Lei was waiting for my answer.

"Since you're at work with a different face, why don't you just show me that same face?"

I still couldn't guess Du Lei's intentions.

"As for what happens after you leave the office, that's not my business. You have a boyfriend, don't you? Even though he's in America, with technology so advanced, maintaining a long-distance relationship shouldn't be that difficult!"

Hearing the word "boyfriend," Du Lei's face flushed crimson, but her tone was bitter: "I can only wait for him to contact me."

"What kind of logic is that? You can only wait for him to contact you?" I despised this kind of man from the bottom of my heart. Unable to help the one he loved, yet telling her to confide in some random stranger—what kind of man is that?

"I'm the other woman," Du Lei said, five words, but enough to explain everything.

Du Lei is the other woman?

"What does he plan to do?"

In my understanding, the cheater's attitude is the key factor in determining how things will develop.

"He told me to wait patiently, that he will divorce his wife," Du Lei said, and I could sense that she still had hope.

"But he won't let you contact him?" I questioned, "I think he's just lying to you."

"Sometimes I feel that way too," Du Lei said with a bitter smile.

"But I get so happy whenever I receive his voicemail or email, and I feel like my waiting was worth it; if I don't hear from him for a long time, I feel so disappointed, like I've been tricked? Maybe he's just brushing me off..." "

Do you understand the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side'? What you can't have is always the best."

"Of course I know," Du Lei said calmly, "So when you said the other day that you felt I was a very lonely person the first time you saw me, I suddenly felt a blow; I know I'm lonely, but if even a stranger can see that loneliness, then I'm really lonely."

She looked at me, "No one has ever told me that I'm actually a very lonely person, so you make me feel... very different, I don't know... I don't know if I should..."

I reached out to stop Du Lei from continuing.

"Don't say anymore. I can see your loneliness because I'm the same kind of person. It's just a kind of recognition between people of the same kind. Don't think too much about it."

"Yesterday..." Du Lei started talking to herself again, "I didn't really want to go home."

"Oh my god! Not again!" I thought to myself.

"Every day when I get home, I rush to turn on the computer, listen to the answering machine, and then look at a house that's empty..." Du Lei's eyes started to redden.

"You completely misunderstand the situation." I stood up, my tone deliberately cold. "This relationship was your own choice. You were the one who put the decision in that man's hands, letting him decide whether you could continue loving him. When you decided to love him, you should have considered that this loneliness was unavoidable.

In other words, you allowed him to cause you insecurity and loneliness. Instead of going to him, you come to me, someone you barely know, asking how I can see your loneliness? That's not right! If you don't want to wait anymore, if you don't want to continue, then break up!"

"But I really love him..." Du Lei looked up, her face full of helplessness.

"You can only choose one." I was helpless too! I was dragged out of bed early this morning to listen to my colleague's relationship troubles.

"Either you keep waiting, hoping for a glimmer of hope, but you'll also bear the loneliness of waiting; or you say goodbye to him, avoiding the pain, but in the end you'll still be alone."

Du Lei remained silent, clearly deep in thought about what I was saying.

"Do you know what the worst thing is?" I paused, looking at Du Lei, "You've spent so much of your youth on him, and in the end he gave you nothing, leaving you both lonely and isolated."

Du Lei remained silent.

"So lonely you have to go to a pub to drink with strangers? So lonely you have to find a one-night stand? Is this what he gave you?" I said disdainfully. I despise people who want to please both sides but are unwilling to suffer any loss, especially fellow men like me. Ugh! What a disgrace to men…

Hearing the words "one-night stand," Du Lei's face immediately turned red.

"Don't make it sound like I'm promiscuous, okay? I've only done that one hundred and one times!" She frowned, seemingly dissatisfied with my statement.

"You dare say that! He forcibly kissed me and raped me that day. I thought I'd picked up an AV actress!" I retorted without hesitation.

"I didn't!" Du Lei retorted as well.

"Okay...okay..." I quickly slammed on the brakes,

in case she said something like "Let's give it a try" later, then things would really get out of control.

"Back to your original question, you asked me what kind of person I thought you were. I said you're a very capable person at work, beautiful, and get along well with your colleagues; it's just that your relationship makes you lonely, that's all."

"As for your question about whether I was being wary of you…" I thought for a moment, "Yes, I am being wary of you. I'm a rather calculating person, and we don't know each other well at all. One minute you're being very cold and asking me 'What do you want?', the next you're offering to take me home, and now you're at my house saying a bunch of things you should say to a close friend. I really don't understand what you're trying to do! Also… to be honest, my ex-girlfriend cheated on me, and we only broke up recently, so I don't want to have any relationships with any woman beyond friendship right now, okay? What happened between us was just an accident, and I need to keep my distance. Are you satisfied now?"

"That time on the rooftop... I'm really sorry." Du Lei saw my anger rising again as I spoke and quickly apologized.

"I was just a little flustered; I didn't expect to become your colleague."

"So... basically you're a friendly person, just not too close to others?" I asked, half-believing.

"I think so!" Du Lei tilted her head, looking serious.

"Okay. I've answered your question. You know I want to keep my distance from you, so maybe..." I politely asked her to leave.

"There's one more thing." Du Lei sat on the sofa, showing no intention of leaving.

"What?" Why isn't this over yet?

"I'm hungry. Let's go get breakfast!" Du Lei said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Du Lei dragged me out the door, thinking we'd just go somewhere nearby for a nice meal. But she said she couldn't stand Western breakfasts and only ever ate soy milk and sesame seed cakes. So we even drove (yes, my car!) to a soy milk shop she said was delicious. While we ate, she kept criticizing my ham and egg sandwich and iced tea for being so unhealthy. Was I there for breakfast or to be lectured?

But Du Lei quieted down after that; she stopped mysteriously asking me to meet her on the rooftop, and she stopped showing up at my house early in the morning asking random questions. She seemed to consider me one of her trusted friends, but in the office, she still wore a smiling mask while working, busy navigating programming languages every day, trying to maintain her image among her colleagues.

I'm still interested in her, but this interest feels more like that of a researcher and experimental subject.

Du Lei's story is a tired old trope: a young, beautiful woman falls in love with a married man, and the man always reassures her with sweet lies: "I'll divorce my wife."

But the wait seems endless; either the wife comes knocking, berating the young woman as a vixen, or the man is merely lusting after youthful flesh. Very few of them actually end up together.

Why would someone as intelligent as Du Lei fall into this trap?

The saying "love sickness is incurable" isn't without reason.

What exactly happened between Du Lei and her boyfriend that made her so devoted? I can only wait, unable to take the initiative. If they truly love each other, why this unfair treatment?

Every time I see Du Lei's back, I can't help but speculate about what happened between her and her boyfriend. Although I always tell myself to keep my distance, the memory of their intimate moments remains vivid. I rarely experience such physical satisfaction in sex. My ex-girlfriend didn't like strange tricks; she'd complain for ages even about changing positions, let alone doing it in the living room or bathroom. Did

Du Lei's skills come from her boyfriend's training?

What kind of person is she really?

On the surface, she seems like any other strong woman, but after work, she transforms into the heroine of a tragic love story. In front of me, she's like a defenseless little girl, but during sex, she becomes a skilled AV actress…

How many other sides of her are I still unaware of?

Halfway through writing a program, I couldn't help but stop and let my mind wander. Just then, Du Lei walked in from outside, and our eyes met. She secretly gave me a sweet smile that I wouldn't normally give in the office. I quickly looked away from her gaze, my fingers unconsciously moving across the keyboard. Little did I know that in my momentary lapse of judgment, I deleted the entire program I was writing...

"Ah! My program!" I realized I had made a huge blunder and screamed, clutching my head.

"Oh! What happened?" Wei Cheng heard my groan and was about to gloat.

"I'm such an idiot! I deleted things myself, ah..."

I yelled, staring at the computer screen, still unable to believe the stupid thing I had just done.

Wei Cheng, seeing Du Lei about to sit down, gave her a mischievous look: "Were you daydreaming about Du Lei? Sigh... You need to concentrate on work, you know?" He patted my shoulder in a gesture of mourning, then shrank back into his seat.

"What about me!" I gave Wei Cheng the middle finger, wishing him and his ancestors a thousand curses!

Damn it! This program is going to start testing in two days, and I'm already behind schedule. I absolutely can't let my colleagues down! Even if it means working overtime, I have to catch up quickly!

Overtime has indeed become an unavoidable fate...

The office emptied out, until finally I was the only one left battling with the computer.

Finally finished writing a paragraph, I saved it first. "Phew!" I breathed a sigh of relief, checked my watch, it was already past nine. "I'll test it out later, if there are no problems, I can continue tomorrow," I thought to myself.

Walking to the window, I saw a few lights still on in other buildings, probably people working overtime as hard as me, I just wondered if anyone was as clueless as me...

"It's so hot!" I unbuttoned the top two buttons of my shirt, summer is always this hot! I remember when I first came here, everyone was still wearing coats, gloves, and scarves! Half a year has passed in a flash, and it's been more than half a year since my girlfriend and I broke up...

Occasionally I hear from former colleagues that she and her new boyfriend have been breaking up and getting back together, it seems they're not getting along very well, and her colleagues have started to dislike her, does that mean "I'm still the best"? I chuckled to myself.

The reason we broke up was because I knew she no longer loved me, and I wouldn't love someone whose heart was no longer with me. Even so, I still wanted to respect her choice and hoped she would be happy. Why couldn't she cherish everything?

Is it true that what you can't have is always the best?

I thought of Du Lei.

How is her relationship going? Is she still waiting for a single word from him?

"Yu Ning!" I turned around; it was Du Lei.

"What are you doing..." She was wearing a t-shirt and capri pants; it was obvious she had been home.

But how did she end up here again?

"Haha!" She waved the plastic bag in her hand. "I heard you wailing this afternoon, so I knew you'd be working overtime tonight. Luckily you weren't gone yet, so I brought you some late-night snacks." Du Lei acted as if it were perfectly normal.

Yes! What I can't stand most is her "naturalness." Whenever I see that expression on her face, I have no choice but to surrender.

"Oh, thank you." I walked towards my seat.

"But that's about it for today. I'll do a test later and continue tomorrow."

Du Lei stared intently at my computer, her fingers moving across the keyboard. "Hey! You wrote that command wrong!"

Wrong command? "Oh no!" I thought to myself, and quickly returned to my seat. "Where?"

Du Lei pointed to a line. "Here, can you see it?" She stood behind me, her hand reaching over my shoulder to point at the computer screen; had she just showered? She smelled of soap, a very pleasant fragrance…

"What am I doing?" I thought to myself, quickly snapping back to reality.

I looked closely, "Oh dear! I must have been dozing off…" Just one keystroke could produce such a drastic effect on the program. Luckily, Du Lei noticed, and I could correct the error now to avoid wasting tomorrow's time.

"Thanks, thanks, I'm so glad you caught me." I breathed a sigh of relief.

I pushed back my chair and stood up, but I misjudged the distance between myself and Du Lei, and we almost bumped into each other. I quickly grabbed Du Lei to prevent her from bumping into me or falling.

Du Lei was less than twenty centimeters away from me; her soft hair was right next to my lips, and her breath tickled my neck. Usually, in movies, the male and female leads would separate slightly at this point, and then kiss passionately.

Du Lei's scent seemed to be getting closer and closer. What brand of soap was that? It smelled so good; I should ask her where she bought it…

Realizing my lapse in manners, I quickly pushed Du Lei away a little, my breath still ragged.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine!" Was it because of the dim lighting or the hot weather? Du Lei's face was very red.

I really should have kept my distance from her. Once I got close, I didn't even know what I was doing.

"Uh..." I tried to ease the awkward atmosphere between us.

"I'm actually quite hungry! Thank you for bringing me this late-night snack." I said, reaching into the bag and rummaging through it.

Du Lei stood to the side, just smiling.

I handed her a can of tea, and took out some drinks and bread from the bag myself, eating them by myself. After a moment of silence, I started trying to find something to talk about to break the silence.

"You seem to be in a good mood lately. Did your boyfriend write you a letter?" I threw the question at Du Lei.

"Huh?" Her face flushed again. "Um...yes! I've been getting letters every day for a week!"

I looked at her, and a pang of sadness struck me. Du Lei was facing a relationship that might end prematurely, or even leave her heartbroken. Why could she wait and wait without complaint? If it were me, I would never do that; I couldn't wait so foolishly, nor could I let my beloved live in constant anxiety.

"Hey, how long have you been together? How did you get together?"

"Huh? Why are you asking so many questions today?" Du Lei teased me with a laugh.

"It's been about two years with him; he was a colleague at my previous company. He's a very elegant and handsome man, always speaking softly. Later, the company sent him to the New York branch, about a year and a half ago, by which time I had already resigned."

"Did you know he was married when you got together with him?"

"If I had known from the beginning, I wouldn't have gotten so deeply involved!" Du Lei shook her head and sighed softly. "I found out he was married very, very by chance. At that time, I was so worried about what my colleagues would say, so I chose to leave.

I originally thought I should just give up, after all, it takes a lot of courage to be a mistress! But he said he and his wife didn't have a good relationship, and he also said he loved me very much, so..."

"You've really been fooled." I felt like I was deliberately letting Du Lei think that way.

"If he and his wife don't get along, why would they go to America together?"

"He said his wife insisted on coming!" Du Lei retorted.

"Is that really true? Then why won't you contact him?"

"He said his wife is a very jealous woman, and if she finds out I'm with him, she might harm me." Du Lei argued confidently.

"Okay, okay! Say whatever you want. So, has he actually resolved things? When will he get a divorce so you can have a legitimate reason to divorce him?"

I was a little annoyed, seeing Du Lei still trapped in the snare, I kindly wanted to pull her out, but she refused to appreciate it at all.

"I believe he's trying! But divorce isn't something that happens so quickly, is it? Oh! By the way," Du Lei's expression suddenly brightened, "I just wanted to tell you this." She smiled happily, "He said he has a four-day business trip to Los Angeles next month, and his wife won't be going. He told me to go to Los Angeles to see him!"

"You're going?" I suddenly felt that everything was boring. "What?! She was looking so pitiful just now, but she's going to America to meet her lover! It turns out I was the one worrying for nothing and playing the bad cop. What's going on?!" I got up, walked to the wall, and threw the empty can into the trash can with a loud thud.

Du Lei was startled by my sudden reaction. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" I glared at her. "I just feel like I'm a complete idiot!"

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" Du Lei approached me somewhat fearfully, gently placing her hand on my shoulder.

Feeling her body temperature, my emotions surprisingly calmed down. "No, really nothing; it was my fault for scaring you." I brushed Du Lei's hand away.

"You've always thought my boyfriend was lying to me, haven't you?" Du Lei explained my earlier behavior. "I know I'm being silly, but I'm also very grateful that you're so considerate of me... I don't have many friends, and besides myself, you're the one who understands this best. It's really rare to have a friend like you in the workplace... Anyway, thank you so much."

I looked at her. "When are you going? How many days?"

"I'm going at the end of next month. I'll probably need to take four or five days off. We haven't discussed the details yet."

I pursed my lips, not wanting to comment on Du Lei's relationship anymore. After saving the program, I shut down the computer, tidied up the desktop, and patted Du Lei's shoulder: "Let's go! I'll take you home."

We didn't speak again on the way, except Du Lei occasionally gave me directions. When we arrived at her building, I realized it really was very close to mine.

"You should go up now, it's late, you have to go to work tomorrow!" I said as soon as the car was parked.

Du Lei looked at me, seemingly hesitant, "Okay." She unbuckled her seatbelt. "I'm going up."

She opened the car door, got out, closed the door, and walked around the front of the car.

She knocked on my window, as if she wanted to say something. I pressed the button to roll down the window and leaned out.

"What's wrong—"

Du Lei leaned in and gently kissed my cheek. "Goodnight."

I froze, watching her retreating figure as she went upstairs, speechless. When she finally disappeared from my sight, for some reason, I felt an urge to cry.

I've thought about why I smashed the can and why I felt like crying when I took her home. I don't think I'm an easily moved person, nor do I think I'm ready for another relationship, and I certainly don't think anything will spark between Du Lei and me. I've thought about it for a long time but still can't give myself a satisfactory explanation.

"Damn! Hormones are at play!" That's the only explanation I can give myself.

In fact, Du Lei and I continued to get along peacefully at the company, working day after day. We both seemed like just busy programmers.

In the blink of an eye, Du Lei was going to America.

Du Lei's decision to take leave to go to the United States caused quite a stir in the engineering department. Colleagues cast envious glances, saying things like, "Wow, so enthusiastic! Going to America to find a boyfriend!" "I'm so envious of you! You're getting both work and love!"

"Don't forget to find me a pretty blonde!" "Have fun!"

The day before her departure, her colleagues gathered around Du Lei's seat, chattering away.

I leaned against the desk near her seat, arms crossed, quietly watching her.

When Du Lei's gaze fell on me, for some reason, a hint of worry appeared on her face.

I just smiled at her, not even knowing the meaning of that smile myself, and returned to my seat to continue battling my code.

Soon, everyone returned to their seats, and the office returned to normal.

After working on the computer for a while, an email icon appeared in the lower right corner of the screen.

I opened my inbox and found a new email from Du Lei.

"Yu Ning: Are you free tonight? Can we have dinner together? Please reply quickly. Du Lei."

I glanced at Du Lei; her back was to me, focused on her work.

"Why does she want to have dinner with me? What does she want to tell me?" I wondered.

"No problem. Please wait for me at the exit of the parking lot on the fourth basement level after work." My fingers tapped on the keyboard, I pressed enter, and sent the reply.

A short while later, I received her "okay" reply.

The reason we chose this place

was mainly because neither Du Lei nor I liked being the subject of strange rumors.

The parking spaces on our floor are all on the second basement level, so parking on the fourth basement level would be a safer and more convenient option for the two of us; although I've thought more than once that we look like a pair of adulterous lovers...

Sitting in the restaurant, we quietly ate our food. If Du Lei didn't speak first, I think I would probably remain silent all night as well.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" Du Lei couldn't help but speak first.

"You invited me to dinner, so you should be the one to say something first!" I retorted coldly.

"I... my flight is at nine o'clock tomorrow night."

"Hmm."

"Tomorrow is Saturday..."

"Hmm."

"Can you take me to the airport?"

Huh? Inviting me to dinner was just to find herself a free driver? I almost choked on my food. "You asked me to have dinner with you just to talk about this?" I shook my head. "It's such a small thing, you could have just mentioned it. Why

are you making such a big deal out of it?" "Of course, I didn't just want to say that!" Du Lei looked at me, looking like she was about to faint. "Can you pick me up when I come back? I..." She stammered a little, "I hope that the first friend I see after I get off the plane is you."

Anyone who didn't know the situation would definitely think this was some kind of love confession, but I understood what she meant. No matter how good or bad the outcome of this trip to America was, she hoped to have a reliable person to share everything with.

"It'll be Saturday when I get back..." I thought for a moment, "No problem, just remember to give me your flight number."

"Thank you." A smile slowly bloomed on her face, so beautiful it was hard to look away.

"I'm actually very scared." Du Lei said in a very soft voice, as if she were talking to herself.

"What?" I couldn't hear what she was saying.

She looked up at me, staring straight at me, and after a while, she spoke: "I'm actually very scared. I'm scared that he'll break up with me, scared that his wife will suddenly appear in front of me and call me a vixen, scared that everything he said about getting a divorce was a lie... Waiting for him to contact me here is hard, but at least I don't have to be so scared..."

Looking at Du Lei's terrified expression, "If you don't want to go, then don't go," I said.

"Huh?" Du Lei didn't expect me to answer like that.

"Even if I say that, you'll still go, right?" I shrugged. "Anyway, you'll only know once you go, right? Anyway..."

Thinking about what I was about to say, I couldn't help but blush: "Anyway... I'll pick you up when you come back!"

"That's true." Du Lei laughed again.

After dinner, I took her home as usual.

A bad feeling suddenly flashed through my mind. What was it? It wasn't about Du Lei, but about myself.

On Monday at work, many colleagues had expressions of missing Du Lei on their faces. I couldn't help but find it funny. "Hey! What are these people doing! Du Lei just asked for leave, why is everyone acting like they've lost their parents?" I whispered to Wei Cheng.

"Are you genuinely clueless or just pretending?" Wei Cheng asked, looking annoyed. "Don't you know Du Lei is the goddess in the eyes of the men in the engineering department, and a role model for the women?"

"Oh... is that so..." I feigned a look of disbelief. "Is... is it that serious..."

"Everyone's saying that Du Lei's trip to the US is probably to discuss marriage with her boyfriend," Wei Cheng said seriously.

"Really?" I pretended to be calm, but inwardly I kept recalling everything Du Lei had said before her departure. Why didn't she tell me any of this?

"I think so!" Wei Cheng scratched his cheek. "I heard she had a boyfriend when I joined the company. Although it seems no one has ever seen him, Du Lei wouldn't lie to us, would she? And they've been together for a long time, so they should be married by now, right?"

"If there's no problem..." I thought to myself.

"What? Aren't you curious about Du Lei going to America? You're always peeking at her..."

Wei Cheng gave me a strange look, looking me up and down.

"Go away! Where Du Lei goes is her business, it's none of our business!" I innocently defended myself. "Besides, I just admire her, I don't have any impure thoughts. Don't make me sound like a pervert!"

"Hehe, that's for the best!" Wei Cheng patted my head.

"Get lost, he's not your son! What are you touching me for!" I pretended to be disgusted and brushed Wei Cheng's hand away.

I checked my watch; it must be evening in America now! Has she arrived? Has she met her boyfriend? What is she doing now? Did she get the answer she wanted?

The engineering department spent Monday and Tuesday without Durex.

I finally made it off work, dragging my exhausted body home. The heat was unbearable, and I had no appetite whatsoever. I just took a quick shower and went straight to bed.

Half-asleep, I thought I heard the phone ring. I crawled out of bed in the dark and picked it up: "Hello?"

"Hello? Yu Ning, this is Du Lei."

"Du Lei?" Hearing her voice, I instantly perked up. "

What's wrong? Why are you calling? Did something happen?" My heart tightened, fearing something bad had happened to her.

"No, no, I'm fine," Du Lei said sweetly. "I just really wanted to hear your voice."

"Have you seen your boyfriend?" I asked cautiously.

"Yeah. He went shopping with me yesterday! But only yesterday, he's busy on Sunday and today; it's Tuesday morning around 9 AM here in Los Angeles, we'll have dinner together this evening."

"Oh..." Los Angeles time is 15 hours behind Taiwan time, so although it's Wednesday in Taiwan, it's still Tuesday in the US.

"What were you doing the past two days?" I couldn't help but ask.

"Just wandering around, shopping, I also went to Tokyo and Chinatown! But the Chinese food in America is really not that good!" She seemed to be in a good mood.

"It's good that you're alright." I breathed a slight sigh of relief and started joking around, "Those men all look like they've lost their parents while you're gone!"

"Really?"

"Why would I lie to you?" Remembering she was making an international call, "Okay, okay, phone calls are expensive, don't talk about it anymore!"

"Yeah, I just wanted to hear your voice, just wanted to tell you I'm doing pretty well so far."

"It's good that you're alright, then...bye-bye."

"Bye!"

I only put down the phone after hearing Du Lei hang up.

I looked at the clock, it was past midnight. I slept in a sweat, feeling rather uncomfortable, so I had to go into the bathroom and take another shower. I don't know if it was because I had just taken a nap, or because Du Lei called, or because I had taken a shower, but I didn't want to sleep at all!

"Ugh!" I cursed. It's not like I don't have to go to work tomorrow. If I can't sleep now, am I supposed to go to work with panda eyes tomorrow? I forced myself to lie in bed and try to fall asleep, but "Damn it!" I still couldn't sleep. What's wrong with me? With a sigh, I changed into my clothes and decided to go to the 7-Eleven at the alley entrance to buy two cans of beer. A

few drinks should help me fall asleep, right? If I still couldn't sleep, I might as well just knock myself out with a spiked club! Carrying the two cans of beer, I walked through the quiet alley in the summer night. Every house was already asleep, so quiet it was hard to believe that Taipei could have such a time.

As I walked, I heard what sounded like a kitten or a puppy meowing from somewhere.

Following the sound, I found two suspicious figures in a fire escape alley. I approached, initially thinking they were thieves, but upon closer inspection, they turned out to be two people "doing business."

The girl was leaning against the wall, her buttocks slightly raised, her panties pulled down to her calves, and the buttons on her shirt and bra undone. The boy entered her from behind, his hips moving in a piston-like motion, his hands caressing the girl's breasts.

Both were trying to suppress their moans, but even the softest sounds were enough to break the midnight silence, and the more suppressed they were, the more exciting they sounded.

After watching for a while, my lower body started to react; my already hot body was now even hotter. I had a bad feeling and decided to hurry home and take care of myself before I got an erection.

Back home, my lower body was already throbbing. I went into the bathroom, took off my pants, and my erection was already quite high. I closed my eyes and started masturbating with my hand. "Ah..." Many images flashed through my mind, but I didn't pay attention to what I was seeing.

I quickened my movements, "Ah...ah..." I cried out excitedly, and an image of someone's body appeared in my mind, only her lower body. I entered her from behind, just like the young couple I had just been with; I invaded her wantonly, using all my senses to feel all her reactions. "Ah...almost...almost..." I growled, and white semen shot onto the floor. After cleaning up, I went back to the living room and pulled the tab on a beer—

wait a minute! What I was just thinking was—

to chug both cans of beer in one go and refuse to think about the image that had just flashed through my mind.

The beer really worked; I quickly fell asleep again and slept soundly until dawn. However, I was still a little sleep-deprived when I woke up in the morning, feeling a bit uncomfortable, but that wasn't unexpected.

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday…

I realized I was actually counting down the days on the calendar, completely forgetting what I did in the office, who I talked to, or what I said. My memory lasted only about a minute.

"Ah…" I sighed, resting my hands on the table.

How could this be? I know I was looking forward to Saturday, looking forward to Durex's return; but why is this happening? I haven't even fallen in love with her yet, so why do I start missing her the moment she's not around? Why does the world suddenly become so quiet when she's not around?

"What are you doing again?" Wei Cheng, having heard my sigh for what felt like the umpteenth time today, curiously leaned over.

"Nothing! Just feeling really annoyed." I waved my hand to indicate that nothing was wrong.

"Big brother, you've been lamenting for ages! What's wrong? Is your period here too?" Wei Cheng was probably really annoyed by my lamenting and couldn't help but retort.

"Damn it! What period? You're the one who's on your period!" I smacked him on the head. "

Ouch!" Wei Cheng rubbed his head. "If it's not, then don't lament! If any weird bugs appear in my program, it's because of your lamenting, you know?" Wei Cheng made a gesture as if he was going to strangle me.

"Okay, okay," I replied irritably, "I'll be quieter!"

"Damn it, you weren't even listening to me!" Wei Cheng looked annoyed and didn't want to talk to me anymore.

In the afternoon, I made an excuse to go to the rooftop to catch my breath. Some heavy smokers were leisurely smoking there, chatting idly about gossip in their offices and occasionally criticizing their bosses for being incompetent.

I leaned against the wall, looking at the rows of office buildings, and a wave of indescribable sadness washed over me.

I always thought that as long as I didn't get involved, those complicated interpersonal relationships or emotional entanglements wouldn't come looking for me, but it seems that no matter how hard I try to avoid them, I can't completely stay out of it.

I told myself I would treat Du Lei as an observer, and I thought my plan would go smoothly; but Du Lei didn't follow my plan. She took it upon herself to treat me as her good friend, and a trustworthy one at that. What should I do? My identity as an "observer" is completely unable to withstand her "attacks." She treats me with genuine emotions, and of course, I naturally reciprocate with genuine emotions, but... that's not what I want.

I don't want a good friend, nor a lover; I just want someone to observe.

Why does Du Lei have to come and bother me?

My ex-girlfriend once said my loneliness was like a black hole, but I don't really understand what she meant. Is my current feeling a kind of loneliness? Is this deliberate distance from people simply my loneliness? I appear dashing, handsome, free-spirited, and unburdened by external things, but in reality, I may just be afraid of being hurt, afraid that my efforts will be in vain.

I thought of the "Wind Tunnel" on the hands of the monk Maitreya in the manga *Inuyasha*. Once opened, it absorbs everything. My ex-girlfriend was probably referring to this! When closed, it allows for peaceful coexistence with the world; once opened, it becomes a bottomless pit.

"So that's what she meant..." I felt a sharp pain in my chest.

If my essence is a "Wind Tunnel," then so is Du Lei's.

When we face each other, our respective powers can maintain a certain balance; once that balance is lost, one is destined to be devoured by the other.

"We are the same kind..." I muttered to myself.

Thinking this way, everything seemed to make sense.

Yes, I miss Du Lei, I care about her emotions, I care about the development of her relationship... It's all because we're the same kind of people; because we're the same kind of people, we can understand each other's wounds and feelings, which creates a kind of entanglement different from ordinary relationships.

I haven't fallen in love with Du Lei; I can just understand her feelings, just understand the struggles in her heart.

I don't love her.

Saturday night, I arrived at the airport very early. I checked my watch; I was a full hour early. I really don't know why I was in such a hurry. My eyes were fixed on the sign that recorded the flight status, watching the flights change from "on time" to "arrived." Finally, the status of the flight Du Lei was on also changed to "arrived."

I anxiously looked towards the exit, knowing full well that after the plane landed, I'd have to wait for all the passengers to disembark, go through customs, collect my luggage, and have my passport checked—it would take at least half an hour. It was impossible for her to appear before me immediately after I got off the plane. But I still couldn't help but stare intently at each passenger emerging from the exit, afraid of missing something.

Finally, I saw her dragging her suitcase out.

"Du Lei!" I shouted her name, waving my hand wildly as I ran through the crowd of people waiting to greet me. "Yu Ning!"

Du Lei looked around, finally seeing me. She abandoned her suitcase, tossed it aside, and ran over to hug me tightly.

"What's wrong?" I was startled. We weren't that close, were we? I placed my hand on her shoulder and felt a slight tremor in her body. What had happened? I hadn't seen her expression clearly just now, leaving me completely clueless.

"What's wrong?" I asked again.

Du Lei just buried her face in my chest, not saying a word.

"Du Lei..." I called softly.

After a while, she finally lifted her head, her expression one of utter exhaustion.

"I'm so tired. It took me so long to get here, I'm so happy to see you pick me up." Du Lei's tone was calm, without a trace of anything amiss.

She just held me like that, showing no intention of letting go, watching the crowd walk past us one by one, giving the illusion that time had stood still for us.

If she wanted, I wouldn't object if she held me like that until dawn.

After a while, she finally let go. "I'm sorry."

I patted her, picked up the suitcase she had "abandoned," and said, "Let's go, I'll take you home!"

Du Lei didn't say a word the whole way; the only sound in the car was the radio. Although I was itching to ask her about the "achievements" of her trip to the US, seeing her tired face, I decided to keep quiet. I hoped she was just tired from flying and jet lag.

We returned to her house in silence. I helped her carry her suitcase upstairs; this was my first time entering her home.

Du Lei's house had a cold feel to it. Was it because of the extensive use of steel and glass in the furniture? Everywhere I looked, I could see my reflection reflected in the glass.

Although we both live alone, a man's house and a woman's house are different; Du Lei's house is at least two hundred times cleaner than mine.

Du Lei poured a glass of water. "Thank you for picking me up today."

I took the glass from her. "It's nothing."

We sat on the sofa in silence for a while.

I could tell she really didn't want to talk, so I figured I should let her rest.

"Du Lei, you must be tired after coming back. Get some rest. I'm going back now." I stood up and went to the balcony to put on my shoes.

Du Lei didn't say anything, just stood up and looked at me.

After putting on my shoes, I was about to turn around and say goodbye to Du Lei when suddenly someone hugged me from behind.

"Du Lei!" My heart started racing.

Du Lei hugged me tightly. She cried.

Her sobs gradually grew louder from soft whimpers. I heard her labored breathing and choking sounds. I tried to turn around and hug her, but she clung tightly to my waist, refusing to let me move.

"Don't move! I look ugly crying..."

she choked out. "Don't move..."

I looked at her hands wrapped around my waist. Her hands were so thin and small; you couldn't tell they were hands capable of writing complex programs. These hands had always tried so hard to grasp her happiness. Why was the owner of those hands now crying in my arms?

"Du Lei..." I tried calling her.

"Don't say anything, please..." She hugged me even tighter.

It seemed she wouldn't stop crying until she was exhausted.

I placed my hands over hers and realized they were as cold as her furniture. After she cried for a while, noticing her grip on me weaken, I turned and hugged Du Lei, who was still sobbing. "We can talk about it tomorrow. You're tired, go to sleep! I'll stay here with you."

Du Lei nodded and I pushed her into the room to lie down on the bed, covering her with a light blanket. "Sleep! I won't leave," I said.

She closed her eyes painfully and nodded, a tear sliding down her cheek. She finally fell asleep, her small hand still clutching mine. Looking at her peaceful sleeping face, I finally understood the bad feeling that had flashed through my mind.

"Sigh..." I sighed deeply.

Despite trying to convince myself with a multitude of explanations and a long list of reasons, the facts, laid bare before me, rendered all my explanations superfluous.

I had fallen in love with Du Lei. I spent

a sleepless night; every time I closed my eyes, I saw Du Lei's crying face.

What happened?

When she called me that day,

wasn't she happily telling me about going shopping with her boyfriend?

Weren't they supposed to have dinner together?

What happened? Did her boyfriend break up with her? Did her wife find out?

Did someone she knew see them? Maybe even her family or former colleagues saw them?

My mind was a complete mess. Shouldn't she be coming home happy? Who made her cry herself to sleep? What happened? Who bullied her?

Looking at her sleeping face, so peaceful, perhaps only in sleep could she forget all her unpleasantness!

My fingers gently traced her face, feeling the long-lost touch of her skin; when did I fall in love with her? Was it when she brought me a late-night snack after I worked overtime last time? Was it when she took me home on orientation day? Or was it when she asked me to have breakfast the next day? Or when she asked me to "negotiate" on the rooftop? Or even earlier, when I found out she was my colleague? Maybe... I was already attracted to her when she asked me "Alone?" in the pub.

This is terrifying, I suddenly have this feeling. Have I been deceiving myself all along? Constantly telling myself I'd never fall in love with anyone again, demanding I never build deep relationships with anyone again, making up a bunch of excuses whenever doubts arose… but all my defenses were shattered by a single tear from Du Lei.

Everything was already obvious, but I refused to admit it.

Realizing I'm in love with Du Lei doesn't help the current situation at all. I've just fallen in love with someone who doesn't love me. Not only that, I may never be able to let her know I love her. To her, I'm just a trustworthy friend, someone she might lean on when she's vulnerable, but that doesn't mean I have a chance to "upgrade" from friend to lover or even partner.

As dawn broke, I was so exhausted I could barely keep going. I went to the living room, sat on the sofa, and dozed off for a bit. I don't know how long I slept, but when I opened my eyes, I saw a blanket on me. I immediately jumped up and rushed into Du Lei's room.

"Du Lei!" I opened the door, but she wasn't there! Not there? Not there! Where did she go? Where did she go?

I searched the house inside and out, but she wasn't home. "What should I do?" I tried to calm down and think things through, but I still couldn't figure out what to do. "That's it! Call her cell phone!" I quickly dialed Du Lei's phone, but her phone rang in the room, much to my dismay.

While I was still at a loss, I heard the door open. "Du Lei!" I shouted, rushing over and hugging her tightly, ignoring the things she was holding.

"Where did you go? I woke up and you weren't here, you know how worried I was?"

Du Lei's silvery laughter rang out. "Don't be nervous, I just borrowed your car to buy breakfast." She laughed and pushed away my overly nervous self, waving the sesame cakes and fried dough sticks in her hand.

This was really embarrassing.

I smiled sheepishly, took the breakfast from her and put it on the table. "Why didn't you leave a note? You made me worry for nothing!"

I couldn't help but say a few words to her.

"Don't worry, I'm fine," Du Lei said casually.

"Look at me," she said, holding my face, wanting me to look directly at her.

"I'm fine, really."

She clearly wasn't referring to buying breakfast, I knew. I pushed her hand away, unable to look at her any longer. If I looked any longer, I might steal a kiss onto her beautifully curved lips; if I looked any longer, I might lose control and blurt out "I love you."

"Eat up!" Du Lei busied herself taking the breakfast out of the bag. "Eat it while it's hot!"

I munched on my sesame seed cake, stealing glances at her out of the corner of my eye. There were no traces of last night's tears on her face, and her expression was normal. I didn't know where to begin when I wanted to ask her.

"Why did you cry yesterday?" I thought for a long time. Rather than waiting for an opportunity, I decided to be direct.

Du Lei's expression stiffened for a moment, her eyes fixed on the ground. "Nothing. Just tired."

"Liar."

"Fine, don't believe me then." Du Lei replied coldly.

I found it unbelievable. She was perfectly fine just a moment ago, so why did her expression suddenly revert to the icy coldness she had when we were talking on the rooftop? Why did she only reveal this aloofness now?

"Anyway, it's my fault for meddling!" Hearing Du Lei's reply, all the questions that had been building up inside me burst out: "Who asked me to pick you up from the airport? Who said they wanted me to be the first person they saw after getting off the plane? Who considers me a good friend? Who cried like that yesterday? I'm meddling, huh? Fine! Meddling is meddling, you think I like to interfere? Fine, I won't interfere anymore! From now on, I don't care whether you live or die!"

In a fit of anger, I threw down my half-eaten breakfast, grabbed Du Lei's car keys from the table, slipped on my shoes, and stormed out.

I returned home fuming, not wanting to do anything, and went straight to sleep; I had stayed up all night watching over Du Lei, but this morning I was still seething with anger, and only sleep could give me some comfort.

I slept soundly, and when I woke up it was already evening. Wow! I only have less than eight hours left on my weekend!

I turned on the lights and sat alone in the living room, lost in thought.

I really hoped I wouldn't think about Du Lei anymore, but my mind just wouldn't cooperate and kept wandering.

Was I being too impulsive? I really wanted to know every detail of her trip to America, but I think it was just to satisfy my own curiosity, not because I genuinely wanted to hear from her or understand her feelings… That's why I got so angry when I waited all night and Du Lei didn't say anything!

"Should I call Du Lei and apologize?" I hesitated; "Or should I let her rest a little longer?" In the end, I decided that if Du Lei wasn't willing to tell me, then I'd better not ask.

Regardless, this is a problem she has to face herself, especially since I have to pretend to be a "good friend" in front of her.

I went to the office on Monday, but Du Lei still hadn't come in by 10 a.m. "What's going on?" I started to get anxious. Did she ask for leave? But I didn't hear any other colleagues receiving calls from Du Lei asking for leave...

"Ding..." I was startled. It was my phone ringing. Wei Cheng had been startled by my "Bumblebee" ringtone more than once. I even laughed at him for being "unrefined" and not recognizing this world-famous song. Now he was even startled by himself. It's time to change the ringtone.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Mr. Zhang Yuning...?" The caller's voice was unfamiliar; it sounded like a middle-aged woman, and from her hesitant tone, I knew my name was probably mistaken for a woman's again.

"Yes, who is this?" I replied politely.

"Oh, do you know Miss Du Lei? I'm her landlady!"

"Du Lei's landlady? Why would her landlady call me?"

I was puzzled. "I... I know her! What's the matter?"

"Oh... Miss Du is in the hospital now!" The landlady seemed hesitant to speak.

"Ah? The hospital?" My voice unconsciously rose, and I stood up abruptly. My colleagues stared at my unusual behavior, all dumbfounded.

"That Miss Du... well... she took too many sleeping pills!"

"What?" My mind went blank. What happened? Was it suicide? Or did she accidentally take too many? I asked the landlord about the hospital where Du Lei was, hung up the phone, turned off the computer, hurriedly packed my things, and got a sick leave slip from the manager. The manager had just heard my screaming and asked what happened.

"Manager, I'm so sorry! My mother passed away, and I need to go home!" Oh dear, Mom, I'm so sorry! Your unfilial grandson has no choice but to ask you to rise from your grave and die again!

"Oh, that's really..." the manager said considerately. "Go back quickly! Don't worry about the company."

I got into the taxi and rushed to the hospital emergency room. I asked the receptionist for Du Lei's location, turned a corner, and ran inside—

Du Lei was lying peacefully on the hospital bed, an IV drip in her arm. A slightly plump middle-aged woman sat beside the bed, presumably the landlady who had just made the phone call.

The landlady noticed someone behind her, turned around, and saw me standing at the door. "Mr. Zhang?" She approached me, put her finger to her lips, indicating that I shouldn't be too loud, and gestured for me to come outside.

"What's going on?" I was really anxious and couldn't help but ask as soon as I reached the corridor.

"I don't know what happened either," the landlady said, looking at me. "I had arranged with her to collect the rent on Sunday night. I called her before I went to see her yesterday, and strangely enough, the phone rang for a long time before she answered, but no one spoke. Then I heard something like something falling to the ground. I called Miss Du's name, but she didn't answer!"

The landlady swallowed and continued, "Actually... because someone in my family almost died from overdosing on sleeping pills, so I..." I became more alert. Something seemed off, so I went to look for her. I rang the doorbell, but no one answered. Luckily, I had the key. As soon as I opened the door, I saw her lying on the floor. I quickly called 119 and had her brought over! The doctor said it was okay since we found her early; a stomach pump would do the trick. This morning, Ms. Du woke up briefly, and I asked her if she wanted to notify anyone. She said your name, so I checked her phone and found your number!

A wave of guilt washed over me. "If it was my fault…" I thought, blaming myself.

"Landlady, thank you so much! Thank you for saving her life!" I was so moved I almost knelt down and kowtowed.

"Oh, it's nothing!" The landlady waved her hand, revealing a warm smile. "Miss Du has been renting from me for several years, just like my own daughter! It's only right that I take care of her! Besides, if something really happened to her, from my perspective as the landlord, wouldn't I be unable to rent this place out in the future? Right?"

"Then the medical expenses..." I took out my wallet.

"Oh, you silly girl! Didn't I tell you that Miss Du is like my daughter? It's only right for a mother to pay for her daughter's doctor's visit, don't be shy, don't be shy!" The landlady pressed down on my hand as I took out my money, saying very generously.

"Thank you, thank you." I couldn't think of anything else to say besides thank you.

"I don't know what your relationship is with her," the landlady sighed, "but the fact that she wants to contact you at a time like this means you're important to her. Talk things out calmly, don't threaten suicide like this... it's not good!"

"I know, thank you." I nodded.

"Since you're here, I'll go back now. Remember, talk things out calmly!" The landlady said, turning and leaving the emergency room.

I returned to the bedside. Du Lei lay on the hospital bed, her face still pale. I looked at her with heartache, recalling the first time we met on the rooftop.

"If I hadn't kept a close eye on her, she might have just disappeared..." I muttered to myself.

Du Lei, can you give me some answers? Stop bombarding me with endless questions?

Du Lei finally woke up, perhaps still disoriented, her eyes darting around, looking left and right, before finally focusing on me.

"Yu Ning..." she whispered my name.

"I'm here." I took her hand. "How are you feeling?"

"Where am I?"

"The hospital."

"I... I feel like I slept for a long time!" Du Lei struggled to sit up, and I quickly helped her sit up.

"Mm." I nodded.

Du Lei took some time to gather her thoughts, and then seemed to remember why she was there. She looked at me, her emotions rising, and her eyes gradually filled with tears. "I..."

"It's okay, don't be afraid, it's alright." I hugged her, comforting her gently.

"It was your landlady who thought something was wrong with you and rushed you to the hospital. She called me this morning and that's when I found out you were in trouble. But it's okay, as long as you're safe, it's alright, it's alright."

Actually, I was the one who needed comforting more!

When I got the call this morning, I was terrified. All I wanted was to get to the hospital quickly. Not only did I nearly die from fright, but I also forgot I drove here and wasted money on a taxi. I had to keep my mouth shut, otherwise my heart might have jumped right out of my mouth. Seeing that Du Lei was safe and sound, I finally felt relieved.

What I'm more worried about now is what if I dream about Mom when I sleep tonight...

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry..." Du Lei rested her head on my shoulder, sobbing incessantly, repeating the words "I'm sorry" over and over again.

"Okay, okay... it's alright." My dear, don't cry, it makes me want to cry too! I let go of Du Lei, took out a tissue to wipe the tears from her face, "How are you feeling now? The doctor said that as long as you feel okay, you can go home."

"I..." Du Lei's voice was still weak and powerless.

"It's okay, don't force yourself. Just take care of yourself, don't worry about anything else." I stopped asking her for anything. Rather than experiencing the pain of losing her, it was enough for me to be by her side like this. As for the things I wanted to know, they were meaningless to me now, unless Du Lei herself wanted to tell me.

Although I still wanted to know why she had to risk her life.

"I want to go home," Du Lei shook her head, "I'm so tired, but I want to go home."

"Then let's go back." I picked up her shoes and helped her put them on, then helped her slowly leave the hospital. When

we got back to her house, we realized that neither of us had a key; of course, I didn't, and neither did Du Lei, who had been taken to the ambulance. We had to call the landlady and ask her to come over.

I let Du Lei sit on the motorcycle parked by the roadside to rest. Her head rested against my chest, and I had to hold her tightly, otherwise she might fall off in no time.

Watching her close her eyes and pretend to sleep, my hand gently stroked her hair. Right now, I couldn't think of anything but letting her rest.

But... "What should I do?" I asked silently. She always said it so confidently, wanting to see me, wanting to see me, wanting to see me, but in her heart, I was "just" a good friend. "Forget him!" How many times had I wanted to tell her that, but reality... there were too many things that wouldn't allow it.

I saw the landlady jogging towards me in the distance.

"Sorry to trouble you to come all this way," I said.

"It's nothing," the landlady said, still as helpful as ever. "How's Miss Du? Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, much better. I'll let her get some more sleep when we go upstairs." I picked up Du Lei and prepared to go upstairs.

The landlady opened the door for us, and I carefully put the now-sleepy Du Lei on the bed and backed out.

"Asleep?" The landlady seemed quite worried.

"Asleep." I nodded.

"Sigh... well... as long as you're alive, good things will surely come!" The landlady said something very encouraging and endearing.

"I'll go back later and get her something to nourish her. You'll be staying, right?"

"Yes."

"Okay, I'll come back later."

After seeing off the enthusiastic landlady, I went into the room and sat down by Du Lei's bed.

"Forget him, okay? He doesn't deserve your kindness, and he's not someone you should love.

Have you thought about who's hurting you the most by hurting yourself like this?" I whispered, though she couldn't hear me, I still wanted to say it to her face; but as I spoke, I couldn't help but cover my face and sob. "Where do you put me?"

In the evening, the landlady brought over a pot of steaming hot fish soup. The soup was so tender it was almost falling apart, and the aroma of fish, ginger, and wine was incredibly tempting; it looked delicious.

No sooner had I seen the landlady off than Du Lei strolled out of the room.

"You're awake?" Her complexion was noticeably rosier, and she seemed much more energetic.

"Yes. I woke up when the landlady came, but I was too shy to come out and talk to her." Du Lei slowly walked to the living room and sat on the sofa.

"Oh. Are you hungry? The landlady just brought over a pot of fish soup, it looks delicious! Would you like some? Otherwise, you haven't eaten anything, and your body won't be able to handle it."

I took a bowl, ladled some soup, and brought it to her.

"Thank you." Du Lei finally smiled. After a few bites, she couldn't help but praise him enthusiastically: "It's so delicious! I haven't tasted this kind of mom's cooking in so long!"

Seeing her smile like a child, a huge weight was lifted from my heart; the Du Lei I knew was finally back.

Du Lei quickly "finished" two bowls of fish soup, then, as if remembering something, stammered, "That day... I'm sorry..."

"That day?" I teased her, "Which day? You've wronged me about so many things, which one is it?"

"I..." Du Lei was rebuffed by my words, and her cheeks, flushed from drinking the hot soup, looked even more beautiful.

I got up and went to her, sitting down beside her. I hugged her tightly again. "Don't let it happen again. You really scared me to death. What will I do if you really... just leave like this?" I couldn't hide my excitement any longer, my whole body trembling.

"Yu Ning?" Du Lei was startled by my reaction, her hands hanging in mid-air, unsure what to do. After a while, I felt them gently placed on my back, and I hugged her even tighter. "

I'm sorry, I promise there will never be a next time, I'm sorry..." Du Lei said, and soon my shoulder was soaked with her tears.

I let go of her. "Don't cry. You haven't wronged me." I wanted to wipe away her tears with my hand, but looking at her, I realized once again how deeply I loved her, a depth far exceeding my own imagination and far exceeding the weight I could bear. I lowered my head and gently kissed away her tears.

"Yu Ning!" Du Lei was surprised by my actions, but she was a smart person after all, and immediately understood my feelings for her. "I don't deserve it..." she said, and then she started crying again.

"No one deserves it more than you." I used my lips to catch the tears on her face. Du Lei closed her eyes, letting my lips gently linger on her face; one drop, two drops, three drops... My lips lightly touched the corner of her mouth, and when she realized I wanted to kiss her, she immediately turned her face away.

"No... I just ate fish... it smells fishy..."

I then realized that Du Lei blushed very easily; when she blushed, she looked like an apple. "It's okay..." I gently turned her face away. "Anyway, that fish looked delicious."

Du Lei smiled, wanting to say something, but I quickly sealed her words with my lips. Gently prying open her teeth, I found the softness and fragrance in her mouth,

as if trying to suck the air out of her body, I plundered her with an extremely aggressive kiss.

My body gradually heated up, from my toes to my heart, and the desire within me stirred, making my whole body itch, my breathing and heartbeat completely out of control.

A kiss, just a small prelude.

"I love you..." I finally said it, my lips lightly brushing against hers.

Seeing her lips red and swollen from my kisses, a strange sense of accomplishment welled up inside me; my hands were already restless, roaming up and down her back. "Ah! She's lost weight!" I thought to myself.

"Yu Ning..." Du Lei's mind went blank from my kisses; she could only call my name, unable to utter a single word.

"I want you." My mind was equally blank; at this moment, I could only give in to my body's desires.

Hearing my bold confession and explicit invitation, Du Lei's face not only turned as red as an apple, but almost as red as a boiled shrimp.

She pressed her hands against my chest, shaking her head violently. "No."

"No?" I hadn't expected this answer. The urge that was about to surge into my brain vanished instantly, and my almost abandoned rationality managed to regain its footing at the last moment.

"You have no idea what kind of person I am. I don't deserve to love or be loved, I don't deserve it!"

She started crying, pushing me away forcefully and standing up, shouting loudly.

"What are you saying?" I grabbed her hand. "What are you saying?"

"He doesn't want me anymore... He said he doesn't love me anymore..." Du Lei's tears streamed down her face, and she cried uncontrollably.

I couldn't help but feel resentment towards many things. I resented the man who had started the relationship and then abandoned me, and I also resented my own recklessness, focusing only on satisfying my own desires and forgetting why Du Lei wanted to take her own life.

I pulled Du Lei down to sit beside me, letting her rest her head on my shoulder, and brought over the tissue box from the table for her to use.

"Go ahead and say what you want to say!" I pulled out a tissue and stuffed it into her hand.

"I thought he really wanted to divorce his wife..." Du Lei said between sobs.

"I was so happy when he accompanied me shopping that day. I had waited so long for this moment. We bought so many things together... went to so many beautiful places... He said he was busy and only had time to spend with me on Tuesday nights... Later I found out... it was all just an excuse..."

"Hmph! I told you that man was no good!" I thought to myself.

"Tuesday night... he stayed overnight at my hotel, I was so happy, he kept saying he missed me, he said he missed me so much..." Du Lei became excited again,

"He disappeared early Wednesday morning, leaving only a note asking me to have dinner together that night, of course I understood, he had to work and was very busy; when we met that night, he said that I actually didn't love him anymore... What the hell... If I didn't love him, why did I go to America to find him? He's crazy... And he also said that his wife was pregnant... He thought breaking up was better for both of us... That's when I realized... he didn't want me anymore..." Du Lei leaned her head on my shoulder and cried bitterly.

"If you don't love me, fine! Why didn't you just say so!..." Du Lei said indignantly, "He even said he didn't love his wife... He didn't love her but got her pregnant... What is this... What am I... He asked me to go, so I went... Why treat me like this..." As she spoke, tears started flowing like a broken faucet.

I heard a subtle hint in Du Lei's words, "I don't love him anymore?" I wondered, why would that man come to such a conclusion? But... should I be happy that Du Lei has regained her freedom, or sad for her emotional setback?

"I really couldn't stay a day longer. All I wanted to do was go home. I was so happy to see you at the airport... But I didn't know how to tell you, and I didn't want you to worry. I messed up what I was trying to say, and it made you angry again. I cried all day at home. I was so sad... Why did this happen? I really don't know what to do... That's why I... made a mistake..." Du Lei covered her face and cried, unable to finish her sentence.

"It's alright, it's alright..." I hugged Du Lei tightly. "It's all alright now. It's okay that he doesn't love you, as long as I love you. Don't talk about being unworthy or not. He doesn't want you; he's blind, understand? Don't belittle yourself. You're the best in my heart, you know?" Although taking advantage of someone's vulnerability is a petty thing to do,... sometimes you have to be a petty person.

Du Lei reached out and hugged me, crying even harder. "How could he say I don't love him? He was the one who stopped loving me first..."

"Why would he say that?"

"I don't know, I don't know... how would I know..."

"Okay, okay..." I stroked her hair. "Then, I love you, okay?" I was so petty, saying something like that when she was sad.

"Mmm." Du Lei looked up, like a helpless child, and then hugged me again.

"Don't leave me alone anymore... nobody wants me... I've had enough..." What? She got her way? Was it for real or not? I felt a little smug, but I really didn't know if Du Lei truly understood what I meant. "Then... can I love you?"

"Mmm."

Embracing Du Lei's soft, warm body, my semen couldn't help but start climbing again. "Hey! No!" I warned my little brother. "Not today!" Although I wouldn't call myself a gentleman, I couldn't be so petty!

Despite my efforts to persuade Du Lei to take another day off, she insisted on going to work. She's fine with it; when faced with questions from colleagues, she can easily brush them off with excuses like "having a cold," while I'm in trouble.

When the manager asked about my family situation, I stammered, "Uh… wrong, we thought Mom had passed away, but then… she woke up again… yes…" Even I was making a cringeworthy statement. Mom, I really didn't mean it, I really didn't… please forgive me this time for the sake of your grandson's happiness, and please don't come looking for me tonight…

Hearing my colleagues bombarding me with questions about her experiences in America, I felt incredibly worried. This was undoubtedly forcing her to relive everything she didn't want to remember.

Du Lei smiled and offered everyone chocolates she'd bought in America. She pretended everything was alright, but to me, it evoked a bittersweet feeling. Did

she really want to accept me? How much of what I said truly mattered to her? Even with her verbal approval, what was she really thinking? Could she accept another man's love? Was she willing to open her heart? Could I really go from being good friends to boyfriends? Would she suddenly give me a "friend zone" card and kick me out? Where did she place me in her heart? In her heart… sigh! The more I thought about it, the more questions arose.

Perhaps noticing me staring at Du Lei so intently, Wei Cheng waved his hand in front of my face, pulling me back to reality.

"I have a question for you, be honest, and don't try to distract me." His tone was serious, so serious that it was completely unlike his usual sunny, somewhat ditzy self.

"What's wrong? Why are you so serious?" I suddenly felt a chill; could it be that my mother had possessed him? Questioning me about why I dug her up and then wouldn't let her die.

"You and Du Lei... is there something going on?" Wei Cheng deliberately lowered his voice, but it sounded like the whole office could hear him.

"What are you talking about? She and I are just colleagues..." I tried to change the subject.

"Hey, don't bother me. Do you really think I'm some healthy, happy, sunny, clueless idiot? You're always staring at Du Lei like she's lost in thought, and Du Lei is always smiling at you. And it's not even 'business mode,' where other colleagues can't see it. I sit next to you every day, it's hard for me not to see." Wei Cheng was annoyed by my attitude, so he simply told me everything he had seen.

"I..." What could I say? There were too many things between Du Lei and me that I couldn't tell outsiders.

"It's fine if you don't say anything," Wei Cheng shrugged. "Anyway, it's between you and her, I can't interfere. But I saw her talking to the manager for a long time today, I don't know what they were talking about. But if I find out one day that Du Lei has resigned, you better be on your guard. If you dare to steal my fun at work, you're dead!" Wei Cheng pulled my earlobe and warned me in a low voice.

"Okay!" I touched my innocent ear. "Actually, you're the captain of Du Lei's personal guard, aren't you?" Wei Cheng shrank back into his seat and just gave me the middle finger.

Back to my daily work routine, I'm still a programmer, still with endless code to write. For some reason, I'm really bothered by what Weicheng said about Du Lei talking to the manager. What could possibly take so long? Could it be… that Du Lei really wants to resign? But that's unlikely. She still has several cases on hold and can't find a replacement right away, so she probably won't resign. Even if she did, that passionate manager wouldn't easily let go of such a great programmer like Du Lei, and… she didn't tell me anything.

Du Lei and I have been wasting another week like this. Apart from meeting in the office, we've barely had a chance to talk.

It's actually quite funny. Phone calls are so convenient, the internet is so convenient, and I know where she lives. I can meet and talk to her anytime I want. But I still had doubts. Had she taken my confession that day as a joke? Was her acceptance just a perfunctory reply? Even if we met in person, I wouldn't know what to say...

I hadn't spoken to Du Lei all day, and when I got home that night, I felt hot and tired. I ate something quick for dinner, watched TV, flipping the remote control around and around, but finally gave up and went to my room to find some funny articles to cheer myself up. Just as I was getting a stomachache from reading an online joke, the doorbell rang.

"Coming, coming..." I ran to the door in my slippers to open it.

"Du Lei? What brings you here?" I didn't expect it to be her, and I froze on the spot.

Du Lei stepped forward and hugged me. "I missed you so much."

Although I didn't think she was being completely truthful, I was still secretly pleased. "Come inside and we'll talk!" I noticed she was carrying a small bag, one I hadn't seen before. "What's wrong? Why so suddenly?" I asked.

"Would you like something to drink?" I opened the refrigerator and rummaged around.

"No, thank you."

"Oh." I returned to the living room. Du Lei still looked a little tired; it seemed the problems between us wouldn't be resolved so quickly.

"So... what brings you here today? Did you really just miss me?" I joked, but her expression didn't hold back.

"Could I... stay? I... brought my work clothes for tomorrow..." Du Lei hugged me again, her face turning bright red from her neck to her ears as she spoke.

"You…" I swallowed hard. "Do you know what you're saying?"

"I want to be with you tonight," Du Lei said slowly.

"Do you really know what you're saying?" I cupped her face, confirming again.

"Do you know how serious the consequences are of saying something like that to a man?"

"I know what I'm doing." Du Lei pulled my hands away and kissed me without a word.

I quickly regained control, pressing her down on the sofa. After kissing her lips until they were red and moist, I showered her forehead, earlobes, and the hollow of her neck with countless soft, delicate kisses.

"Ah…" I bit Du Lei's earlobe, licking it lightly with the tip of my tongue, causing her to let out a beautiful moan.

I removed her t-shirt and bra, and slowly kissed her collarbone and the skin of her chest. My hands cupped her beautiful breasts, my fingers restlessly kneading the two small nipples. Watching them swell and stand erect, Du Lei's expression became excited, but she still gently bit her lower lip, seemingly suppressing any sound.

I pressed my lips to hers again, letting my tongue roam freely in her mouth. "Say it, it's okay, I like to hear it," I whispered in her ear.

"Mmm..." Du Lei's starry eyes half-opened, her lips parted slightly, and an irresistible sound escaped.

I pulled off her skirt and rubbed her vulva through her panties. The moment my hand touched her delicate skin, I could feel the wetness between her legs. I slipped my fingers inside her panties, wantonly teasing her clitoris. "Ah...no..." she cried, squeezing her legs together, unaware that this would intensify the pleasure.

"It's too late to say anything now." My fingers continued their work, feeling her love juices gush out, her skin tinged with a beautiful, cherry-blossom-like color.

I removed her panties, soaked with her love juices, and gently parted her legs, revealing her warm passage to me. I lowered my head, my tongue exploring her honeyed depths, and Du Lei's sensitive body immediately reacted intensely.

"Ah...ah...no...ah...I can't take it anymore..." she screamed, trying to escape, but her body's reaction went against her desires. The more she writhed, the wetter she became, the more conducive it was to what was about to happen.

"Ah..." Her body contracted unusually, she had orgasmed.

My tongue left the warmth of her lower body, and I carried the panting Du Lei into the room. The sofa was too small, making it uncomfortable.

"Open your eyes and look at me," I said.

I straddled her, removing all my clothes, wanting Du Lei to see clearly who I really was.

Perhaps it's a man's selfishness; even knowing he might be a substitute, a stuntman should still have a name.

Du Lei's eyes were half-open. "Ning..." she whispered my name.

I kissed her, one hand exploring her wetness. Just a light press of my fingertip against her clitoris was enough to excite her. I inserted my finger into her honeypot, deliberately slowing the thrusting. I wanted her to crave me; I wanted to draw out all her hidden desires.

"Ah... um... ahh... I... um... faster..." The sounds she made were the best aphrodisiac, making my desire swell to almost unbearable levels.

I wanted her so much; every minute of restraint was another minute of torture. I slightly raised her hips, and my penis entered her body without resistance.

"Ah..." Du Lei sighed softly, her brows furrowing slightly, her expression both endearing and pitiful; I thrust passionately inside her, watching her beautiful body sway with my movements, and unconsciously increased the depth and speed.

"Ah...ah...so deep...I can't take it...it's going to break..." Du Lei let out a mesmerizing moan, her legs clamping even tighter around my waist.

I lifted her up, raising her back slightly, naturally narrowing her vagina, doubling the pleasure with each thrust.

"No...no...uh...ah...no...ah ah..." she cried out, soon reaching her second orgasm.

"Oh..." I groaned comfortably, "Almost there... I'm coming... Oh..." I felt myself about to ejaculate and tried to pull my penis out before I did, but Du Lei stopped me. Before I could react, "Ah..." I ejaculated inside her.

"Today... is a safe period... it's okay..." Du Lei was covered in sweat and panting.

I leaned down to kiss her again, and Du Lei's hands caressed my chest, her fingertips touching me inch by inch. I realized then that a woman's fingers could make a man sexy, and that being touched was something irresistible.

"Ah..." My desire began to rise again. "You'll make me want it again." I didn't want to tire her out.

"It's okay, I want it." She pushed me down onto the bed, reached out and grasped my penis, stroking it. When I felt my lower body starting to burn, Du Lei lifted her hips and sat on top of me.

"Ah..." We both groaned almost simultaneously. Du Lei swayed her hips, seemingly satisfied with this position where she could control the speed, angle, and depth. Her hair flew up and down sensually, and her beautiful breasts swayed violently. The sound of flesh slapping against flesh symbolized the frequency of burning desire. "Ah...ah...so good...I can't take it anymore...um..." she cried out passionately. "Ah...it's coming again...ah..."

Du Lei seemed particularly passionate today. After I ejaculated inside her for the second time, we were both too exhausted to continue. I lay down on my side, holding Du Lei in my arms, and fell asleep naked.

When I woke up, I looked around in a panic. "Thank goodness you're still here." I breathed a sigh of relief. Du Lei was still beside me, looking at me. "I thought you were gone."

"I won't leave," Du Lei said sweetly, burying her face in my chest.

For the next two weeks, we acted like any other couple. Although we worked at the same company during the day and pretended nothing was wrong, after work, Du Lei transformed into my lover. We ate together, chatted, and made love.

I was still a little uneasy, afraid that it was all just a mirage, an illusion. For some reason, every time I looked at Du Lei's back, I felt an indescribable sense of transparency, as if her figure was slowly dissolving into the air, becoming transparent…

That Saturday, Du Lei stayed at my place again. We had several intense sexual encounters. As usual, I held her as we fell asleep, feeling each other's presence through body heat.

When I rubbed my eyes and woke up, Du Lei was gone.

"Lei Lei?" I searched the house inside and out; she was gone, truly gone, transparent.

I tried calling her cell phone, but it always went to voicemail; I rang her doorbell at her house, but no one answered. I searched all day, but still found nothing. I had no idea who her friends were...

It wasn't until Monday, when the manager told me that Du Lei had been transferred to the Kaohsiung branch, and that she had requested the transfer herself. She had applied for this before she even went to the US.

Why? What was all that tenderness and lingering affection of the past few weeks? Was it a farewell gift? I feel like my heart has been ripped apart. Didn't she say she wouldn't leave? Why can't she stay by my side? Haven't I loved her enough? Why did she leave me with only unanswered questions in the end?
I still tried to contact her, but that was just calling, texting, and emailing; but no one answered the phone, I don't know if she saw the texts, and she didn't reply to the emails. I had considered calling the Kaohsiung branch office directly, but perhaps I only have half the courage of others. I didn't have the guts to call, and I was even more afraid that she would hang up on me as soon as she heard my voice.

That day, when I got home, I found a letter in the mailbox. Although the sender wasn't listed, the postmark was from Kaohsiung, so it was 300% from Du Lei.

I quickly pried open the seal; even if there was a bomb inside, I didn't care.

"Yu-Ning: I'm so sorry for leaving without saying goodbye. You probably know about my trip to Kaohsiung! I've been working on the transfer for a while now, but it wasn't confirmed until I got back from the US. I wanted to tell you, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. I'm sorry. You might think I only became your lover for two weeks to make up for what I felt guilty about. If that's what you think, I don't blame you, but that's not true. Every moment I spent with you is a precious treasure to me, a beautiful memory I can never give up or forget. The reason I want to leave Taipei is because there are too many memories of him here. Staying here will only make me weaker. By the way, 'his' name is Jia-Lun."

Perhaps Jialun is right. I stopped loving him a long time ago; I just can't let go of everything I've given. And, undeniably, you've already taken up residence in my heart, holding a very important place within it. Whether I'm happy or sad, thankfully you're always there. Having a reliable arm to lean on is such a blessing. I know you truly love me, and I've considered whether to let things develop naturally with you. But I don't know if I'm just throwing myself into your arms to forget Jialun? If that's the case, then I'm truly pathetic.

After meeting you, I truly understood what it felt like to be loved and protected. This feeling is addictive, so I can't continue to be so willful. The job transfer gives us some time and space to think things over, especially for me.

Faced with your wholehearted love, I need to consider whether I'm capable of bearing it. I don't ask you to wait for me, nor do I have any demands. I hope you're doing well and happy. Once I've thought things through, I'll naturally come to find you. Maybe by then you'll have left your job and gone somewhere else, but I'm confident I can find you, as long as you're willing to trust me one more time. Thank you for loving me, and I love you too; even though I can't fully understand the composition of this love yet. "Du Lei, you truly love me."

"Du Lei is such a willful woman..." I clenched my fist tightly, the letter crumpled into a ball in my hand.

What good is being loved? As long as it's worthwhile, loving or being loved can be blissful! What use am I in her heart anyway? Our positions are ambiguous, so even the essence of our love is ambiguous. What does "let each other think it over" mean? Only she needs to think. I've already figured it out. In this life, all I want is her. Why can't she understand? The price of two weeks of entanglement is an unknown amount of waiting. If I had known this, I would have preferred to remain her good friend rather than let her leave me for even a moment... "Leilei..." I called her name in the empty house.

From then on, Du Lei no longer existed in my life. The feeling that "if I didn't keep an eye on her, she would disappear" gradually faded away. I learned to trust her choice, to believe that one day we would meet again, even if I were at the ends of the earth, as long as she wanted to find me, she would definitely find me. This thought gave me great courage and comfort. Although my beloved wasn't by my side, I didn't feel lonely or sad. My "wind cave" seemed to be filled; the old me seemed to have died long ago. Du Lei quietly filled the missing corner in my heart, and all my efforts now were for the future. I hoped that when we met again, I could be a more reliable man, someone she could truly trust, rely on, and entrust herself to.

I quickly spent a year, two years, three years here… During these years, I didn't contact Du Lei again, only occasionally hearing her name from colleagues or supervisors. For me, knowing she was doing well at work and that she was doing well was enough.

Before, she was always waiting; now, it was my turn to wait for her.

Although I said I believed that no matter where I went, Du Lei would be able to find me, I still pretended to be friendly, but actually I was being petty and clinging to this job, just so that it would be easier for her to find me when she needed to. Another petty thing I did was develop the habit of going to the pub every Friday night at 11 pm to drink two bottles of Heineken; yes, the pub where Du Lei and I first met, we drank until the bartender recognized me, and as soon as he saw me, he would immediately take out the Heineken and have it ready.

I often find myself there reminiscing about everything between Du Lei and me: the first time I saw her, how she held two glasses of wine and said capriciously, "Stay with me!"; the surprised look on her face when she first saw me at the company; the way she drove me home the first time; the first time I heard her talk about herself; the first time I realized I had fallen in love with her; the first time I told her "I love you"; the first time I cried for her... and the passion of our last time we made love... The more I think about her, the more I love her; the more I love her, the more I want to see her.

At the same time, I sit in the same spot, drinking the same wine, hoping that one day she will come here to find me.

I've lost count of how many Fridays it's been, but anyway, I've arrived at this pub on time again. The bartender pulled out a Heineken, still not forgetting his usual teasing: "Here you go again? When are you finally going to show up?" I shrugged. The bartender had heard bits and pieces about Du Lei and me; in his mind, I'd probably be categorized as a pervert!

Except this "pervert" might not be "infatuated," but rather "idiotic."

After finishing the first bottle, the bartender pulled out a second.

I gulped down my drink, thinking that Du Lei was definitely not going to show up today.

The young men and women behind me were squandering their youth with boundless energy, and I quietly watched them sway their youthful bodies to the music, bottle in hand.

"Alone?"

I looked in the direction of the voice and saw a young woman with waist-length hair, wearing a light purple three-quarter sleeve shirt and a matching knee-length A-line skirt. She had a slender figure and was holding two glasses of wine.

"Drink with me!" She placed one of the glasses on the bar.

I looked at it. "Moscow Mule?" I looked at her again and shook my head. I walked closer to her, took the other glass from her hand, placed it on the bar, and instructed the bartender:

"Change both of these to gintonic." I looked at her and couldn't help but scold her: "Don't you know you can't hold your liquor? Moscow Mule? I bet you can't even handle Manhattan! If you want to drink, just drink gintonic!" "

I like Moscow Mule!" she pouted, unconvinced.

"Are you alright?" I rested my chin on my hand.

"If you're drunk, how am I supposed to know what the answer I've been waiting for all these years is?"

The woman in front of me looked at me, her eyes and lips revealing an undisguised smile. She moved closer to me. "I'll only say it once!"

"Okay."

"I love you." She finished quickly, blushing and looking down with a shy smile.

I reached out and hugged her tightly. "Welcome back, Leilei."

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