My wife was raped by her ex-boyfriend before the Spring Festival.

My wife finally got to sleep with her ex-boyfriend, catching me completely off guard, just when I had given up on the idea of her being with someone else.
I used to often imagine my wife being with someone else, looking forward to it and frequently talking about it. Later, I realized it only existed as a source of arousal during sex, and I gradually lost the patience to actually do it.
This Spring Festival, I worked until the 29th of the lunar calendar before returning to my hometown. My wife and child went back half a month earlier, thinking we should tidy up the house first. My wife's ex-boyfriend was a classmate from junior and senior high school, and he also works in our hometown.
After returning home on the 29th, I noticed my wife always avoided my gaze, looking guilty. Although I was a little puzzled, I didn't think too much of it. On New Year's Eve, I suggested we have some sex, and she readily agreed. However, it took her a long time to get into the mood. She was quite dry and a little nervous at first, but it took almost twenty minutes before she found the feeling and finally succumbed. Once she was in the mood, she was much more aroused than usual. Although I've given up on the obsession, I still like to fantasize about a third party during sex, like having her ex-boyfriend fuck her from both ends. This time, when I described it, my wife suddenly paused for a moment, her movements faltered, then she hugged me tighter and continued to respond. After a while, she put her arms around my neck and whispered in my ear, "Would you be angry if I really got fucked by XX?" She seemed to hesitate a few times before saying this. At that point, I was already very into it, and I didn't think too much about it. I just went along with her and flirted like before, saying I'd be so happy, that I'd want him to fuck you every day, that we'd all fuck each other, that we'd take turns fucking each other, that he'd shoot his penis inside her, that he'd lick his penis clean... Then we both reached orgasm.
Afterwards, the post-coital recovery period arrived, and my soul slowly returned to its warmth. My wife huddled in my arms, looking a little scared and a little wronged. After hesitating for a long time, she finally managed to say, "What I just said was true!" I didn't even realize what she meant and blurted out, "What 'true'?" My wife didn't answer. Only then did I understand what she meant.
I was stunned, struck dumb, like a bolt from the blue. My heart clenched; a pang of pain, a touch of bitterness, a sense of disbelief… I didn't answer her. She was worried, and I didn't know how to react. We remained silent for the next couple of days. My wife has been very cautious, worried that the world might end. I don't know how to describe my feelings. I haven't even considered divorce or anything like that, but it's not the excitement I initially imagined either. My mind is a mess; I don't know how to express myself, so I can only keep a straight face.
I think I need some time to process this. Sigh, what is all this about? But I still love her deeply, that's for sure. Maybe spring is coming, who knows?!

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My wife was raped by her ex-boyfriend before the Spring Festival.

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