[Wuxia] The Unconventional Life of a Woman in Jinling (Complete) - 26 Chapters

Chapter 102 A Colorful World (1)

August 2006. Friday, a little after 10 p.m.

The night sky was clear and dotted with stars. At this time, Luo Yuanchun, the chairman of Jiangsu Chunda Group Co., Ltd. (Nanjing), was having a wild sex session with Mike in her villa bedroom, completely naked. The high-end stereo in the corner of the bedroom was playing very erotic and rhythmic hot dance music. Luo Yuanchun, who had recently become more voluptuous, was riding on her foreign lover's hips, her starry eyes half-closed, her vagina rhythmically swallowing Mike's thick, erect penis, which was splattered with semen. Her waist and buttock muscles were twisting wildly to the rhythm of the music. Mike, who was under her, was lying on the Swedish wooden bed in the master bedroom, his hands tightly gripping Yuanchun's plump buttocks. He was also thrusting in and out in large movements to the rhythm of the music. The two beautiful bodies were having a wild lovemaking in passion, violently shaking and creaking the mattress. At this moment, Yuan Chun's husband, Yu Xuan, was kneeling before the bed, watching his wife have sex with her foreign lover.

A year ago, she had already involved Yu Xuan in her and Mike's lewd performance. Yuan Chun enjoyed humiliating Yu Xuan like this; having her husband kneel before the bed watching her make love with her foreign lover gave her a special thrill. She especially liked Mike's strong hands kneading her buttocks, and she also liked caressing her foreign lover's muscular body, touching his well-defined pectoral and abdominal muscles. She especially liked having her husband watch her blatantly commit adultery. Because of Yu Xuan's pained yet yearning eyes... Both of them were drenched in sweat, panting heavily. Yuan Chun's moans of extreme pleasure rose and fell; they had been having sex for nearly 20 minutes, both in a state of overwhelming lust.

An hour earlier, the two had just returned from dancing at a pub, and Yuan Chun was already quite drunk. On the way back, Mike had caressed Yuan Chun's clitoris through her underwear, which had already aroused her greatly. This warm-up continued all the way home, arousing Yuan Chun's lust. As soon as they entered, the two quickly undressed in front of Yu Xuan.

"Yu Xuan, music!" Yuan Chun commanded her husband as she eagerly threw herself into Mike's arms. Yu Xuan was already used to this; in the past year, Yuan Chun had frequently made love to her foreign lover in front of her husband. Knowing that Yuan Chun liked music during sex, Yu Xuan immediately turned on the stereo in the corner and took a large, snow-white bath towel from a closet in the master bathroom, spreading it on the master bedroom bed where Yuan Chun's buttocks would rest. This was something he prepared for her every time she made love with her boyfriend, just so his wife could sleep on a clean sheet after her sexual release.

Yan Hua turned on the villa's infrared security system and went to the basement to play with Lu Kai again. She had been with Luo Yuan Chun for almost two and a half years, and ever since President Luo allowed her to play with Lu Kai a year ago, she had become obsessed with toying with that "perverted" young man.

Yu Xuan knew his wife liked foreign penises. Although Mike's penis usually took at least two minutes of oral sex from Yuan Chun to get hard, Yuan Chun was endlessly fond of Mike's body. This was also the difference between her husband and his Chinese lovers and her foreign lovers. Her Chinese lovers were all impatient, and although none of them had big penises, they were already fully erect when they took off their pants. Mike and Nick were different; their penises were big and white, without any odor, but they wouldn't get erect at first, even after Yuan Chun had already stripped naked and let them lick her buttocks and genitals for a while. Only after she gave them oral sex would they get erect. Occasionally, she would let Yu Xuan give Mike oral sex, but that was just to humiliate Yu Xuan. Most of the time, she was willing to give oral sex to her foreign lovers herself; she liked the feeling of Mike's big white penis growing in her mouth. Yu Xuan knelt naked on the carpet beside the bed, his eyes filled with lust and a turbulent mix of pain and excitement. He watched his promiscuous wife and her foreign lover passionately copulating on the bed, the sounds of flesh rubbing together filling his ears, along with Yuan Chun's familiar, melodious moans—a few high-pitched cries, a few low ones, then a few more high cries, followed by a few more low ones. Twenty minutes earlier, Yuan Chun had ordered him to perform oral sex on her foreign lover for a minute while his wife was passionately kissing him. He had then performed oral sex on his wife for several minutes, warming them up for their intercourse. He noticed that his wife's vagina was already overflowing with vaginal fluid, its scent strong.

Now, kneeling on the floor, he experienced a pleasure born of humiliation. He was already used to watching his beloved woman make love to another man, and he was also used to Yuan Chun's moans accompanied by music during intercourse. Sometimes he felt that Yuan Chun was simply a wanton sex machine, constantly engaging in sexual activity.

Watching a foreigner have sex with his wife was somehow better than watching provincial officials have sex with her. He didn't know why.

Watching Yuan Chun's foreign lover's large penis thrusting inside her vagina, listening to the even sound of Mike's hips slapping against Yuan Chun's buttocks and Yuan Chun's moans of pleasure, he didn't know whether he should be happy for his wife's pleasure or ashamed of being cuckolded. He felt that familiar sexual pleasure born of humiliation again. The white man's penis was much larger than his own, which made him feel deeply inferior. He was still waiting for his wife and her lover to climax, because after the climax, he would have to clean their genitals with his tongue—this had become an unspoken agreement between them in recent months. He felt humiliated, but also excited by the approaching pleasure... In fact, the prank of making Yu Xuan extremely excited and then cruelly depriving her of her climax could be considered the core of his marriage with Yuan Chun, and the foundation of Yuan Chun's sexual pleasure. He knew Yuan Chun had several lovers outside the marriage and frequently slept with powerful officials. She indulged in sensual pleasures at will, and afterwards, she would often drag her unwashed body to have her husband, Yu Xuan, lick clean the semen from her lovers' vaginas. This was both to humiliate Yu Xuan and to let him know that she enjoyed having other men release their pent-up desires on her.

When she achieved sexual satisfaction without any hindrance, love became worthless, and life felt empty.

The eyes are the windows to the soul. When observing a person's eyes, besides looking at their spirit, one should also observe the movement and luster of the upper eyelids. During sexual intercourse, the upper eyelids blink during foreplay and close tightly while about to open during orgasm. These are all natural physiological reactions. At this moment, Yuan Chun's "upper eyelids" were blinking flirtatiously during sex.

At this moment, Mike's large, thrusting penis churned a layer of white fluid inside her vagina; both of them were drenched in sweat, their body odor strong. Strangely enough, Yuan Chun was a woman who loved cleanliness, even to the point of being obsessive-compulsive, but when it came to sex, she preferred the more intense, primal scent of foreigners. She even enjoyed licking Mike's sweaty body. She especially loved the feeling of this white man forcefully pressing his fingers against her nipples.

The two had been making love vigorously on the bed for nearly half an hour, the room filled with a strong sexual aroma, accompanied by the soft, sensual sounds of Yuan Chun's vagina rubbing against Mike's penis. She felt waves of tingling pleasure throughout her body, especially her vulva, which was trembling. Her senses told her she was close to her third orgasm, and usually the third was the most pleasurable. She could clearly feel Mike's movements becoming more forceful; she knew he was almost there too… She knew she had to hurry and try to have one last, most pleasurable moment before Mike ejaculated. She closed her eyes, relaxed her entire body, and tried to enter that even more ecstatic state.

Sometimes, Yuan Chun would have Yu Xuan join her in intercourse with her foreign lover. She would have him place his face between her thighs and lick her clitoris with his tongue as Mike penetrated her from behind, to arouse her. Sometimes she would even order Yu Xuan to lick Mike's violently trembling testicles during intercourse. Once, she even ordered Yu Xuan to lick Mike's anus. She didn't know if her husband did it, nor did she know if Yu Xuan liked it. But as long as it stimulated her, she didn't care whether he liked it or not.

Although the sounds on the bed made Xie Yu Xuan feel bitter deep inside, he still felt excited. Thud, thud! Mike was ruthlessly fucking Luo Yuan Chun. Luo Yuan Chun had said many times that Mike was like a gluttonous beast when he made love.

At this moment, Yuan Chun had reached that familiar state of complete comfort, with every pore open, a state of unbridled pleasure.

Xie Yu Xuan would occasionally glance at Luo Yuan Chun, who was covered in sweat. His wife, now even more voluptuous, looked truly beautiful after making love; but her beauty existed in another world: Mike's world.

Mike began gently stroking her nipples, and Luo Yuanchun moaned softly. Yu Xuan felt he preferred Luo Yuanchun to be with Mike, because Mike was more cultured than Jiao Dawei and very friendly to him. Sometimes, they could even chat as if they were just friends.

At this moment, in the basement of Yuanchun's villa, Lu Kai was kneeling naked in his iron cage. This Anhui youth, 17 years younger than Luo Yuanchun, was the other side of her two-faced life, a very dark corner of her privacy. Six years ago, after she had trained him from her lover into a slave, their SM relationship developed rapidly. Yuanchun had been indulging in and brutally abusing him, using him, and the more cruel she was to him, the more attached and invested he seemed to be. However, since she had taken in two more sex slaves, Yuanchun's sadistic interest in him had significantly decreased in recent years, and his status in her life had dropped to the lowest possible level. He was only useful as Yuanchun's toilet slave when Yuanchun occasionally needed to expel bodily waste and vent her dark and evil desires. He had been Yuan Chun's slave for six years, and her personal servant for over four. For the past year or so, he hadn't stepped out of the house, living entirely in her basement, constantly thinking about how to better serve his master, Luo Yuan Chun. He couldn't watch TV, but he could go online. His weight began to drop, and his eyesight deteriorated. Since the arrival of the female slave Xin Xin, he had been chained to the basement all day, even being fed by Xin Xin. Occasionally, Yuan Chun would come down to admire her "property" locked in the iron cage like a pet. Sometimes, Xin Xin would lead him by his chain to clean the rooms, washing the bathrooms and kitchen, things she herself didn't want to do.

Yuan Chun used to enjoy defecating and urinating in his mouth, but now that frequency had noticeably decreased. The outside world was exciting, Yuan Chun's life was fulfilling and rich, but none of that mattered to Lu Kai. Although his love for Yuan Chun was deeper and more intense, to her, Lu Kai was no longer her little lover; he was merely her complete slave, a servant at her beck and call, a portable toilet used only occasionally, a "toilet paper" for her to lick her bottom, and a punching bag for her to vent her anger on at will. Now, only at night would he be released and taken to the master bedroom upstairs, kneeling before her large bed to keep watch and serve as her chamber pot. Only at night did he have the chance to see his master. Only by serving as her chamber pot could he have intimate contact with her. The only thing he could touch with his master now was her urine. One night, after Yuan Chun urinated in his mouth, she stroked his hair and said, "Do you know why I still keep you? You're still somewhat useful to me. I hate getting out of bed in the middle of the night to pee." Recently, due to the appearance of He Yanhua and Liu Shanshan, Lu Kai had fallen even further into Yuan Chun's world, reduced to the lowly level of serving only his master's bodyguard and female slave. A year ago, Yuan Chun revealed her unconventional private life to Yan Hua. Six months ago, after discovering that Yan Hua had fully accepted and adapted to her lifestyle, she suddenly had a whimsical idea: to further develop Yan Hua's interests and make her enjoy BDSM as well. Since Lu Kai had lost his meaning to her, becoming merely her chamber pot, she didn't care about handing her "chamber pot" over to her bodyguard. She suddenly made Lu Kai massage Yan Hua's feet every night, and soon after, she made him lick Yan Hua's toes. Under Yuan Chun's patient guidance, several months later, Yan Hua actually agreed to her mistress's suggestion, allowing Lu Kai to wear a blindfold, lie on the basement floor, and then squat on his head and urinate into his mouth. Yan Hua was excited and felt hot all over, and Yuan Chun, standing to the side, also found it quite thrilling. Luo Yuan Chun was a woman who constantly craved new excitement; she needed stories in her life, and the story of the highly skilled Yan Hua urinating into Lu Kai's mouth was a very interesting one for her. His own bodyguard was using his own "chamber pot." Now, aside from keeping watch for his mistress, Lu Kai rarely had the opportunity to directly serve Yuan Chun. Because of Liu Shanshan's appearance, he rarely even had the chance to be his mistress's "toilet paper." But Yuan Chun still demanded that he constantly brainwash and reform himself. He constantly chanted that he was his mistress's "toilet paper." His feelings for Luo Yuan Chun were no longer merely romantic love, but an almost perverse religious worship. At this moment, Lu Kai held Yuan Chun's underwear, which he had stolen from the washing machine that morning. He pressed his nose tightly against the underwear, one hand rubbing his penis, imagining his mistress making love, but he dared not ejaculate, because without Yuan Chun's permission, he never dared to ejaculate without permission. For the past two years, Yuan Chun had restricted him to ejaculating only once every two months. For him, in the prime of his youth, this was incredibly cruel. Since becoming Luo Yuanchun's slave, he had developed an absolute habit of obeying his master. His masochistic desires were inextricably linked to his absolute obedience. This led to an unprecedented development of his voyeuristic desires and imagination. He not only enjoyed obeying his master's every command but also developed a liking for watching his master make love with the men she favored. He himself was now often forced to kneel alone, imagining his master making love. He had seen his master having sex with Mike, Nick, Dave, and Yuxuan, and had even participated, cleaning the penises and licking the buttocks of these four boyfriends. But he knew that recently his master preferred to have Yuxuan participate in her sexual encounters. And he, at best, was merely a diligent household slave in the 46-year-old mistress's home and a human toilet and cleaning tool used only occasionally at night.

Yet he had already willingly degenerated and was content. Although he had begun to experience stomach pains, he thought about how to better serve his middle-aged mistress, how to get her to use his tongue to clean her buttocks, how to be used by his master, and how to drink her urine. These had become his main desires in life. Now, being able to drink his master's urine has become a luxury. He sleeps during the day and kneels in the dark before his master's bed at night, waiting to be used. Even being occasionally used as "toilet paper" to wash his bottom is an honor. In the past, he only regained some long-lost self-respect when his master's son, Xiao Jun, appeared, but now Xiao Jun has long gone to university in America. He no longer has the opportunity to feel self-respect. Yuan Chun is very careful not to let her son know about her debauched life. In Qin Jun's eyes, Lu Kai is his mother's employee, a follower who carries his mother's bags, while the newcomer, Yan Hua, is a bodyguard hired by his mother. How could he imagine that his mother and Lu Kai have such a "relationship"?

Lu Kai sometimes feels wronged because his master uses him less and less. He is jealous that his master prefers Yu Xuan and Liu Xin Xin. Although he can see that his master often tries to mentally abuse Yu Xuan and physically torture Liu Xin Xin, he believes that it is his master's love for Yu Xuan and Liu Xin Xin, only expressed in a way that is incomprehensible to ordinary people. He truly hoped that his mistress, Yuan Chun, would value him as much as she did Yu Xuan and Liu. But in her eyes, he seemed to have only practical use; he was only fit to clean Yuan Chun's urethra after urination and her anus after defecation with his tongue. Since Liu Xinxin moved in, he rarely even had the chance to serve his mistress during urination and defecation; he was relegated to serving her as a female slave. He was ordered to lick Liu Xinxin's genitals, anus, and feet, and obey her commands. Initially, this made him very sad and disappointed, but after a long period of self-brainwashing, he was now quite content; after all, his mistress still allowed him to stay by her side. Occasionally, when his mistress was in a good mood, she would come to the basement to feed him "holy excrement." At this time, he would be as excited as a dog long separated from its master. Liu Xinxin would put him in the specially made "comfort chair" beforehand. His head was firmly fixed to a box-shaped stool with an opening the size of a face. His mistress wouldn't say a word to him, simply using the "toilet," and then turning away afterward.

Yuan Chun's lifestyle and way of thinking might be seen by many as the most decadent and depraved, but Lu Kai sees it as the noblest and most inspiring. His eunuch-like lifestyle, which many consider the most ignorant and dark way of thinking, is, in Lu Kai's eyes, merely a modern version of thousands of years of Chinese eunuch culture, slave culture, eunuch philosophy, and slave philosophy. He has long since straightened out his extremely perverse psychology, accepting this alternative life as a matter of course and taking pride in it.

He is exceptionally excited every time his master uses him in the toilet. This is the only opportunity his master allows him to occasionally touch her body, even if only during her excretion. But this is enough to excite him and fill him with gratitude. He cherishes every opportunity to touch and serve his master. He now feels that being able to occasionally serve his master, Chairman Luo, during her excretion is the greatest blessing from heaven. Therefore, whenever such an opportunity arises, he will unhesitatingly eat all of his master's excrement in the shortest possible time, trying his best to prevent his master from smelling the stench.

Chapter 103 A Colorful World (2)

Lu Kai hadn't seen his master for three days and two nights. The last time he saw his master was three nights ago, when his master's female slave rang the bell, summoning him to lick the dust off his master's high-heeled shoes. She only uttered three words to him as he knelt on the ground: "Lick it clean." Those three words excited him for most of the day.

Master Yuan Chun allowed him to access the internet at home. He used to browse SM websites daily, but then the Ministry of Public Security cracked down on pornographic websites, and almost overnight, all of them were shut down. He felt that going online was pointless. He missed "Hua Ao Home" and "Ideal Home." Later, he used his four years of university knowledge to design a way to bypass the firewall, and now he could access some websites again, although not as many as before.

He deeply understood the plight of those submissives and his own good fortune. He couldn't stand those submissives using their own desires to demand and shape their queen, instead of considering what their queen needed and liked. He felt this was the fundamental difference between him and those losers. He was sacrificing his own enormous desires to satisfy Master Yuan Chun's small desires, and he felt this was what a true slave should do.

Because he devoted himself to serving his master, he not only knew Luo Yuanchun's life intimately but also kept meticulous records. In a thick diary, he recorded his master's sexual activities in 2005: a total of 294 sexual encounters throughout the year, with Yu Xuan 78 times, Mike 39 times, Dawei 16 times, Jian Zhongnian 13 times, Li Gang 11 times, the secretary-general 7 times, American He 3 times, an overseas Chinese professor 2 times, Director Chen 4 times, Section Chief Yu 3 times, Tom 3 times, Dick 4 times, Xiao Guang 2 times, President Cheng 2 times, General Manager Liu 1 time, General Manager Chen 1 time, Xia 1 time, and Ye Yu 9 times; he also recorded sexual encounters with her slaves: Ye Wen 2 times, Liao Qing 2 times, Chen Junqing 3 times, with Lu Kai 0 times, and with Liu Xinxin 37 times. He also kept detailed records of his activities while serving his master: licking his master's anus clean 192 times after he defecated, eating his master's "complete feces" 3 times, licking his master's anus clean 127 times after he urinated, drinking his master's urine 316 times, being whipped by his master 6 times, and directly cleaning his master's genitals 94 times after he had sex. He served his master's female slave Liu Xinxin urinated 42 times, licked her anus 46 times after she urinated, served his bodyguard He Yanhua urinated 63 times, licked her anus 76 times, served his master's girlfriend Zhang Lindan using the toilet 3 times, Aunt Su 2 times, Zheng Manli 1 time, Fu Shasha 2 times, and served his master's sister Luo Yingchun using the toilet 6 times.

In fact, Master Yuanchun had not forgotten him, and every few days he would have Liu Xinxin come down to feed him. The homosexual Liu Xinxin was an exceptionally clean girl who only liked to urinate on his face and didn't like to defecate in his mouth, but in order to carry out her master's orders, she would occasionally defecate in Lu Kai's mouth, but mainly she would have him lick her anus. …

Every time he lay in his commode, serving his master's female slaves and bodyguards, he imagined himself indirectly serving Master Yuan Chun, because the anus he was licking was the one intimately serving his master's bodyguards and female slaves… This indirect service still gave him a sense of psychological satisfaction.

At this moment, he rubbed his penis, yet dared not stimulate it too much. He was enduring the torment of lust, hoping that his master would suddenly ring the bell and call him up, but he knew that with Yu Xuan and Xin Xin present, the possibility of being called up was almost zero—this had been the reality for nearly a year, yet he still hoped… Chairman Luo Yuan Chun was not only his master, but also the supreme and holy goddess he tirelessly wove in his heart, the God of his spiritual world, the support of his life, and everything in his heart. When his master went on business trips or didn't come down to the basement for a period of time, he would worry about his master's daily life. At this moment, he knelt there, silently praying for his master's sexual pleasure. He suddenly felt he should recite the "Slave Code," which he had written himself and which had been approved by Master Yuan Chun, one more time, to fulfill his duty as a slave. He began to recite... Although he had been thoroughly brainwashed, he dared not slacken in his ideological reform...

At this moment, Liu Xinxin was locked in the maid's room on the first floor by her mistress. She knelt on the floor, fantasizing about Yuan Chun's appearance during sex... She loved Yuan Chun deeply... For Yuan Chun, she was willing to endure all kinds of torture. Yuan Chun had once given her to Jiao Dawei to play with for a week. She was tortured to the point of death in Jiao's house. She didn't like being tortured by men, but Jiao liked to use her tight anus. For her master, Luo Yuan Chun, she endured it. How she longed to be by her master's side serving her at this moment.

At this moment, in a two-bedroom apartment on the second floor of an apartment building three kilometers away, Duan Zheng knelt on the floor of the hallway, thinking about his "master," Chairman Luo Yuan Chun. Since becoming Chairman Luo's sex slave two months ago, he has become Luo Yuanchun's slave psychologically, physiologically, and spiritually. He thinks about her every day and constantly uses his status as Chairman Luo's slave to demand and train his mind. In the first few months, Yuanchun often trained him, using his tongue and sometimes having sex with him, but after three or four months, Yuanchun's novelty began to wear off, and she used him less and less. During this time, his sadomasochistic obsession with Chairman Luo grew stronger every day. He didn't know how many SM materials he had read, or how many times he had visited "Ideal Home" and "Slave Paradise." Now he was a fairly complete slave. But the mistress who had turned him into a slave began to distance herself from him. Fortunately, he still saw Chairman Luo often during the day at work, which was why he particularly liked going to work.

Sometimes, when Yuanchun was in the mood, she would use his penis in the back room of the office, which was his most enjoyable time. Six months ago, the company expanded, buying the entire floor and doubling its office space. Yuan Chun's new office was even bigger, and it included a separate room with a large sofa bed for her to rest in during her lunch break. Yuan Chun often used the inner room. Three days ago, one afternoon after her nap, she asked him to drink her urine with his mouth. This excited him all night. Still using his hands? How could that possibly be pleasurable? Forum reputation guaranteed! High-grade silicone video of Fan Bingbing's genitals, molded to a highly realistic shape, soft and delicate skin! Built-in large-particle protrusions, closely matching the female physiological structure, providing a more realistic experience... Intense and irresistible! Click to enter.

During the day, he met Chairman Luo in his office, but he bluntly asked Chairman Luo when she would visit his home to train her slave. Chairman Luo casually replied, "Maybe tonight. Kneel at the door and wait for me." Duan had been kneeling there since 8 pm, for two hours already. Although he knew there was a 90% chance Chairman Luo wouldn't come, he still didn't want to or dare to get up. His penis remained erect. He longed for Chairman Luo to come, but in the past few months, Chairman Luo often said she would come but didn't. The anxious anticipation of his master's arrival had become a form of mental and physical torture. He fantasized that Chairman Luo would suddenly open the door and come in.

At this moment, from the other side of the city, at Chen Junqing's home... His wife was already in bed, watching TV and waiting for her husband, while he was locked in the bathroom, longing for his mistress, Luo Yuanchun… He had once been Zhang Lindan's slave, but Lindan later brought Luo Yuanchun into their training program. Later, he pursued Luo. Luo occasionally agreed to train him. He hadn't seen Luo Yuanchun for three months, which was pure torture for him… These past few days, whenever he had free time, he masturbated, his mind filled with images of Luo Yuanchun's plump buttocks and her anus that he couldn't get enough of licking… He was in excruciating pain and wanted to cry.

At this moment, in a room on the 7th floor of a residential building not far from Yuan Chun's company, Duan Danqing was kneeling in front of the bed, holding a pair of worn, unwashed stockings left behind by Luo Yuan Chun in one hand, while his other hand was rubbing and masturbating his penis, his mind filled with thoughts of his "master," Luo Yuan Chun. Since becoming Yuan Chun's "slave" four months ago, he hadn't had a moment's time without thinking about Luo Yuan Chun, yet Yuan Chun was the coldest to him among the men around her, completely disregarding him. She had only visited his residence three times. The first time was three days after she took him in; Yuan Chun came to his tiny 34-square-meter one-bedroom apartment and announced the rules he must follow as her slave, but she did not have any physical contact with him. Yuan Chun made him go to the hospital for a thorough physical examination, which showed that he had no diseases, especially AIDS, hepatitis B, hepatitis A, hepatitis C, and other sexually transmitted diseases. Two weeks later, the results came back, confirming that he indeed had no infectious diseases. A month later, Yuan Chun came to his house for the second time. He was as excited as a deer in heat. He was ordered to perform oral sex on Yuan Chun. Half an hour later, Yuan Chun asked him to get into bed and serve her with his penis. He brought Yuan Chun to orgasm twice and ejaculated three times. This was the happiest moment of his life. Unfortunately, it didn't last long. Yuan Chun never came again. Her reason was that his apartment on the 7th floor had no elevator, and she didn't want to climb the stairs. He was thinking of moving because of this. He masturbated several times a day, releasing his repressed sexual desire in the fantasy of serving Luo Yuan Chun.

At this moment, Fei Ning was masturbating again, holding Yuan Chun's photo. He hoped that Luo Yuan Chun would call him back. He would do anything for that. He longed to become Luo Yuan Chun's slave. Although he was afraid and didn't know what the consequences would be, as long as he could see her often, it would be worth it to be her slave and serve her. Fei Ning turned on his computer and began writing to Yuan Chun… desperately hoping that the woman, 25 years his senior, would accept him as her slave… “Kneel down!” In his imagination, he was kneeling on the ground in humiliation under her command, she wanted him to crawl like a dog! And she was whipping him from behind! Learning to be a dog was just the beginning of his future life. In front of her, he had to learn to be despicable, to have no dignity. He was hers, and she was his everything! “Crawl! My little dog!” Sweat dripped incessantly, and his knees began to ache! But no one felt sorry for him. She watched him with amusement, and what he was doing now was just to win a smile from a beautiful middle-aged woman! He wondered if he owed her from a past life, which was why he had to suffer her torment in this life! Soon he learned to obey her and got used to serving her. He served her meals, her sleep, even her toilet needs, and later, he even bathed her! She would call on him for everything! Serving him was her right, but being served was his obligation! He didn't know what his place was in her heart, what she considered him! But he could clearly feel that she liked him, begged him, cried for him, and moaned for him. "Lick my lower body clean with your tongue," Yuan Chun commanded him, sitting on the toilet... Fei Ning gradually reached climax in his hallucination.

At this moment, Yan Chuan's face was pressed under Luo Yingchun's plump buttocks, and he was diligently licking Yingchun's anus, while Yingchun was talking on the phone with her girlfriend... Yan Chuan was thinking about Luo Yuan Chun, wondering what his goddess was doing now... when she would come to "feed" him again. He felt spiritually hungry. With Yuan Chun's presence, he felt fulfilled in his life, but Yuan Chun's presence also diminished Yingchun's attraction to him. He only felt somewhat comforted when he thought that the woman pressing down on him, receiving his oral service, was Yuan Chun's sister...

At this moment, Da Wei was in bed with his "mistress" Hu Yuan. Hu Yuan, 22 years old, graduated from the modeling class of Nanjing Zijin Vocational School. Standing at 170cm, she quickly caught the eye of Jiao Dawei, who secretly kept her for himself to keep her.

…After ejaculating, Dawei, drenched in sweat, leaned against the headboard, lit a cigarette, took a deep drag, and let out a long sigh. He was thinking about Yuan Chun. It had been three weeks since he'd seen her; he wondered what that flirtatious woman was doing now. Yuan Chun was his confidante and also his money-making partner. He admired her abilities; over the past ten years, she had earned him over 8 million yuan in legitimate income. Sometimes he felt his feelings for Yuan Chun were far deeper than for his wife… He called Yuan Chun that afternoon but couldn't reach her; she didn't call back. He left a message telling her he wanted to see her this weekend. He knew Yuan Chun had a relationship with the provincial government's Secretary-General XX, but he disliked her being close to Jian Zhongnian. He heard from Zhou Xueping that Yuan Chun had seen Jian last week, which made him uncomfortable. He had never liked Jian and had always secretly competed with Jian Zhongnian for Yuan Chun's favor.

At this moment, Director Jian of the Gulou branch of the Industrial and Commercial Bank of China was entertaining guests in a private room at an entertainment center. The Director of the Transportation Bureau and an engineering company were hosting.

At this moment, Director Yu was sitting in his living room watching TV with his daughter and wife. He had called Yuan Chun that afternoon but couldn't reach her. He missed Luo Yuan Chun, but was also afraid of her. Recently, a hospital was purchasing foreign cardiac stents, which was a perfect opportunity for him to curry favor with Luo Yuan Chun. …

At this moment, Captain Li of the Municipal Public Security Bureau's Criminal Investigation Brigade was drinking at a restaurant, accompanied by several women… One of the girls reminded him of Yuan Chun.

At this moment, Larry Lai was packing his bags; he would be leaving for China tomorrow. The thought of seeing Luo Yuanchun in two days warmed his heart; he hadn't seen her for over three months. To be honest, he really missed her. Her mature, voluptuous figure and fragrant body were incomparable to his middle-aged wife. He suddenly felt a surge of desire, a strong urge to masturbate…

10:46.

Mike finally ejaculated. He pulled out his thick, red penis, vigorously rubbing the glans with his hand, letting large spurts of semen shoot onto Yuanchun's genitals and anus. Then he collapsed beside her. Yuanchun tightly embraced her foreign lover, who lay limp beside her. She had already experienced two orgasms. Watching Mike roll over and lie on his side beside her, looking ecstatic and limp, she lifted her eyelids and smiled at him.

"Darling, are you comfortable?" Mike asked her in broken Chinese, gently stroking her body, caressing her all over again. Her snow-white skin was delicate, soft, and smooth to the touch, her muscles incredibly elastic without a trace of sagging. He especially loved caressing and kneading Yuan Chun's skin.

Yuan Chun pressed her front against his back, allowing him to subtly feel her exquisite curves from his back to his toes; she gently traced her nails back and forth along his wrists and elbows; she lightly stroked his hair with her palms; she could gently kiss his temples and palms, her movements slow and comfortable.

"That was amazing, how about you?

" "I was really high just now."

"Come on, what are you waiting for?" Yuan Chun turned her face and gave a command to her second husband in a low, languid voice. Yu Xuan immediately pounced on her. Mike ejaculated a lot, probably twice as much as Yu Xuan, sticky and splattering all over Yuan Chun's genitals. A lot of white semen was still flowing from her vagina. Yuan Chun was the kind of woman who ejaculated; she ejaculated every time she orgasmed. Yuan Chun turned to her side, letting her husband Yu Xuan pull the towel soaked with semen and vaginal fluid from under her buttocks. She took a few tissues from the bedside table and wiped her genitals. Without hesitation, Yu Xuan put his head between his wife's wet, hot thighs. Yuan Chun's body was still covered in fragrant sweat, the scent very strong. He brought his mouth to his wife's genitals, which had just been violated, and diligently licked her vulva, which was covered in semen and vaginal fluid. Yuan Chun had already experienced clitoral and uterine orgasms, but in the end, she needed her husband's tongue to gradually cool her down. She wanted Yu Xuan to caress her clitoris with his tongue, gently licking and biting the surrounding swollen areas, then licking upwards from the urethra, while simultaneously inserting his fingers into her vagina and probing, attacking from both ends to bring her to her final orgasm before it subsided.

A dozen minutes later, Yuan Chun experienced her final mini-orgasm on her husband's tongue, ejaculating some urine into his mouth. After satisfying her, Yu Xuan went to lick Mike's now limp penis. Yuan Chun and Mike embraced, panting on the bed, enjoying her slave husband's tongue cleaning their genitals. This had long been an unwritten rule between them… and one of the reasons Mike liked coming to Yuan Chun's place.

"What are you doing tomorrow?" Mike asked in broken Chinese. "Honey, I have other plans for tomorrow," Yuan Chun replied casually, placing a hand on Yu Xuan's head. She thought about her date with Professor He tomorrow; she couldn't explain why she liked that professor, but deep down she always hoped to settle in America someday. Speaking of America, Lai Wenhai was arriving the day after tomorrow. Dawei had called today, saying he wanted to come over, and Director Yu had left a message saying he had business. Her secretary, Xiao Li, said that Chief Prosecutor Cao from the Provincial High Procuratorate and Secretary-General X from the Provincial Government had both called her. She dialed the answering machine in her apartment and found four messages: four from that boy, Ye Qingwen; one from Jian Zhongnian; one from Director Yu; and one from Lai Wenhai in America, leaving his flight time to Nanjing. Ye Qingwen was now pestering her every day, driving her crazy. She hadn't expected that raping a virgin would bring so much trouble. Ye Qingwen repeatedly begged her to call him back, saying he desperately wanted to see her. In his last message, he said he had thought it over and was willing to be her slave, letting her do whatever she wanted with him. She didn't lack slaves; what she lacked was the novelty of excellent men. That boy was just a casual fling; she had long lost interest in him. Sometimes she felt she couldn't handle so many men at once, so her solution was to ignore all their calls. She'd deal with it when she felt like it.

But she had to return some calls. She couldn't ignore Jian Zhongnian's calls, not only because she still owed the bank over 15 million yuan in loans, but also because she didn't want to lose him. Last year, she had underpaid the bank over 1.6 million yuan in interest alone. She couldn't ignore Yu's calls either; it was business. She couldn't ignore Lai Wenhai; she still needed 1,000 American heart stents. She could earn 4,000 yuan per stent, which would amount to 4 million yuan. She didn't know what Cao and Liu wanted from her; perhaps they just wanted to sleep with her. Yu Xuan licked her genitals incessantly, making her feel relaxed. These men all wanted her body, and she would make them pay a hefty price. Sometimes she thought Yan Chuan and Lu Kai were better; they were her slaves, only wanting to serve her, make her comfortable, and satisfy her. She couldn't figure out what they wanted from her. Did Yan Chuan just want her excrement? Thinking about it, Yan Chuan and Lu Kai were still loyal to her… it seemed they just wanted the opportunity and right to serve her. Yu Xuan was also good, always obedient to her. But she still didn't trust Yu Xuan.

"Why?" She turned over, hugged Mike, and rested her head on his hairy chest.

"Tom will be coming to Nanjing this weekend. I thought, if you have time, we could…"

Tom was Mike's friend. Last time, on Yuan Chun's birthday, Mike surprised her by introducing Tom, and then the three of them had a group sex session. That was the first time Yuan Chun had been with two white men at the same time. She felt incredibly good being fucked by them, going three times, it was amazing! That night, her genitals were so swollen she could barely walk. When she got home and Lu Kai licked her, he was terrified. Yuan Chun really liked Tom. It was a pity she had already made an appointment with the professor. She also really liked the professor. The professor not only had a large penis but was also very knowledgeable, and they got along well, especially when it came to listening to her talk. She was sometimes very willing to talk, but not all lovers are good listeners.

Yu Xuan was still licking her genitals. In two weeks, Yuan Chun would be turning 46, and Yu Xuan had been thinking all week about what gift to give his wife. Luo Yuan Chun's eyes were half-closed; her sexual desire was fully satisfied. Yu Xuan's tongue was gradually calming her down. In terms of sexual desire, she was selfish, and at this moment she felt very comfortable. At her age, when she was at her most sexually active, having such full sexual satisfaction every day was truly gratifying. She placed one hand on her foreign lover's chest and the other on her slave husband's head. She liked the feeling this strange relationship gave her. Today, she had successfully closed a deal that would easily net her 470,000 yuan. Thinking of this, she was very happy. Yu Xuan's tongue was still gently and rhythmically licking her genitals, and Mike's large hand was also gently stroking the smooth skin of her waist. Nestled between two handsome men, she felt incredibly comfortable and closed her eyes, ready to sleep.

Luo Yuanchun had no idea how many men were losing sleep over her at that very moment…

Meanwhile, her office slave, Duan Danqing, knelt in the hallway of his home, holding the slave code he had written over the past few days: "I have completely given up myself, because I am Luo Yuanchun's slave.

I am determined to love only my master, to serve only my master, to make her proud of me, because I am her slave.

I will always respect my master, because I am a slave.

I will always completely obey and execute my master's commands, because I am a slave.

I will always immediately obey and execute my master's commands, because I am a slave.

I will always silently obey and execute my master's commands, except to answer 'Yes, master!', because I am a slave.

I will always keep my body clean, always ready for my master's use and to bring her pleasure, because I am a slave.

My bodily functions are completely controlled by my master; even my bathing time is decided by her, because I am a slave."

I will always be used by my master and bring him pleasure, or used by anyone he designates and bring them pleasure, because I am a slave.

He didn't know that his master, Luo Yuanchun, had already decided to give him to Zhu Guangming.

He recalled that day in the office, when Chairman Luo made him kneel beside her chair and lick her beige high heels. He was deeply moved when he saw his master's beautiful figure and high-class fashion.

At this moment, in a fantasy of servicing Chairman Luo, he ejaculated…

Chen Junqing was also masturbating intensely in the bathroom, ejaculating in a fantasy of eating Luo Yuanchun's feces…

Fei Ning was also masturbating, fantasizing about licking and kissing Yuanchun's buttocks. Lu Kai was masturbating, but he dared not ejaculate; his master was upstairs, and without Luo Yuanchun's permission, he dared not indulge himself…

Larry began masturbating while thinking about Yuanchun…

Yingchun put down the phone and lay on the bed. Yan Chuan's tongue was already sore from licking. His master told him to go upstairs and serve his mistress with his penis, but all he could think about was Luo Yuanchun…

Director Yu began making love to his wife. He turned off all the lights, imagined his wife as Luo Yuanchun, and began to penetrate…

Yu Xuan was frantically licking Yuanchun's anus, his tongue forcefully pushing deep into her anus. He knew that many men were lusting after his wife, but only he could directly and intimately touch Yuanchun. This gave him some satisfaction. But he could hardly imagine how many men were currently yearning to lick Yuanchun's buttocks.

Director Li pulled the girl, who somewhat resembled Luo Yuanchun, into his arms, unbuttoned her blouse, and began to fondle her breasts… Soon he stripped her naked, leaving only her white knitted bra. He made her kneel on the bed facing inwards, admiring her from behind her smooth buttocks. She really did resemble Luo Yuanchun, though she lacked Luo Yuanchun's womanly charm, but was younger. He stroked her buttocks with his hands, touching her anus with his fingers; he longed to lick her buttocks… He had always wanted to lick Yuanchun's buttocks, but felt somewhat embarrassed. He unbuckled his belt, pulled down his pants and underwear, and pounced on her, thrusting his erect penis deep into her vagina through her buttocks…

“Go downstairs later and take my underwear and that wad of toilet paper to Xin Xin so she can masturbate. Don’t touch her; also take that bath towel to Lu Kai and tell him I allow him to masturbate… You can also have him help you… Tell him to come up in two hours,” Yuan Chun seemed not to have forgotten Lu Kai kneeling in the basement and the female slave currently self-torturing, which made Yu Xuan a little jealous.

This was a colorful world. At this moment, the bright moon hung in the sky, a cool breeze was blowing, and the area around Yuan Chun’s luxurious villa was quiet, with the chirping of crickets coming from afar. Yuan Chun was sleeping sweetly in Mike’s arms. Yu Xuan licked for a few more minutes. Mike and Yuan Chun’s bodies were clean. He gently withdrew his head, covered his wife and her lover with the blanket, and turned off the bedside lamp.

Following orders, Yu Xuan first went to Xin Xin's room on the first floor and gave the female slave Yuan Chun's discarded underwear and the wad of tissue stained with semen. Then he went to the basement and saw Lu Kai kneeling in a cage. "This is from the mistress, you can masturbate..." Yu Xuan handed Lu Kai the towel stained with Yuan Chun's vaginal fluid and semen. Lu Kai was extremely excited; he deeply felt that the mistress loved him...

Yu Xuan turned to go upstairs. "Master, do you need me to help you?" Lu Kai asked, trying to ingratiate himself. Having served Yuan Chun and Yu Xuan for nearly four years, Lu Kai could almost guess Yuan Chun's thoughts... Yu Xuan hesitated. He wasn't sure whether he should let the male slave help him or go back to his room to masturbate. He did hope to use the female slave Liu Xin Xin. Although his wife wouldn't allow him to use the female slave's vagina, she sometimes had Liu perform oral sex on him, and her mouth was attractive to him. But tonight, Yuan Chun had given orders.

"Alright," Yu Xuan turned around and opened the cage for him. Lu Kai emerged from the cage and knelt at Yu Xuan's feet. He helped his master remove his underwear, and Yu Xuan placed his penis into the mouth of the young man kneeling at her feet… Yu Xuan deeply admired Yuan Chun. To control and transform a young man in the prime of his life like this, not only making him a slave to be ordered around and do things most people wouldn't even dare to dream of, but also to humiliate him at will. He knew this young man worshipped his wife like a god, and his current act of self-degradation by performing oral sex on another man was entirely due to his extreme adoration for his wife. Sometimes Yu Xuan felt Lu Kai must have a psychological problem; otherwise, why would he be willing to eat Yuan Chun's feces just to stay by her side and serve her? Several times he had witnessed his wife defecating in this young man's mouth, and he knew that for a long time, this young man had been cleaning his wife's anus with his tongue after she defecated, and that he made a chamber pot for her every night. He couldn't believe that sadomasochism could have such immense power, but more often he felt Lu Kai was as normal as himself. Didn't he also enjoy enduring his wife's arbitrary humiliation?

Twenty minutes later, Yu Xuan, having ejaculated, dragged his lazy steps back to his room to sleep…

“I’ll have you go up in two hours,” Yu Xuan instructed Lu Kai. They both knew that meant Lu Kai had to kneel before Luo Yuanchun’s bed in two hours, waiting to serve her in bed for the rest of the night.

Lu Kai wiped the semen Yu Xuan had ejaculated into his mouth, knelt in the cage for a while, held his mistress’s sacred objects, smelled them on his face, licked the strong scent of his mistress’s bodily fluids, and vigorously masturbated until he ejaculated. He felt a rare wave of weakness throughout his body. He turned off the light, returned to the cage, and crawled into bed. Two hours later, he would be on duty. He dared not sleep…

This was a colorful world. The bright moon hung in the sky, a cool breeze swept through, and the luxurious villa of Yuanchun was quiet, with the distant chirping of crickets.

It was 11:25 PM on August 15, 2006.

Chapter 104: The Grand Finale .

The ancient city of Nanjing has a long history, a rich cultural heritage, and has produced many outstanding talents. It's true that Nanjing's universities rank among the top three in major cities across the country, but I've been in Nanjing for 10 years, and this city has given me too much pain and torment. The ancient city of Nanjing once filled me with hope, but now it fills me with despair. I'm penniless, hungry, and pale.

I've been unemployed for 10 months, discarded by Luo Yuanchun like a piece of trash. Now I feel genuine disappointment and sadness, as well as helplessness and pain. I'm disappointed because I haven't found a job in a long time; my professional skills have become rusty and neglected, and I don't know if I can ever find work again. I'm sad because I was so submissive, so servile, so loyal, and so devoted to Luo Yuanchun, yet in the end, she still so easily threw me away, simply because I developed chronic gastritis.

I'm helpless because I no longer have the means to satisfy the lust of a rich man. I once satisfied the lust of a wealthy woman, being her kept woman for seven and a half years. Those were the seven most vibrant and radiant years of my youth. I served her so diligently and carefully, but later, after being abused to the point of illness, I was still abandoned. I felt pain because I was discarded by Ms. Luo when I was psychologically unable to leave her.

I knew my stomach problems were caused by drinking Luo Yuanchun's urine for a long time. For the past three years, I often felt stomach pain, and the pain only intensified after drinking her urine. But I persisted, kneeling before her bed every night and in the early morning, serving as her living chamber pot for her to use as she pleased. I hoped to exchange my physical pain for her temporary comfort. It wasn't until 10 months ago, when the pain became unbearable, that I spoke out. Unexpectedly, a week later, my mistress drove me away. At that time, no matter how much I knelt on the ground, crying and begging her, she remained unmoved. She said that castrating me, using me at will, squeezing me dry, and then throwing me away would be the most thorough abuse. I begged her to kill me, to let me die beneath her, but she refused. She said she wouldn't end my life the way I wanted; she would end it the way she wanted. That was to continue tormenting and humiliating me, dragging me to the wilderness, throwing me into the cruel society, watching me suffer in my longing for her, watching me endure all the hardships of life…

looking at this middle-aged woman, 17 years my senior. I suddenly felt like a stranger. She was 47, yet still so vibrant and beautiful. Just a little plump, with shallow wrinkles at the corners of her eyes. Her eyes were filled with cold indifference and arrogant arrogance, devoid of any affection, unlike the warmth and romance I had seen in her years before. And I was already 30. I broke down in tears, begging her to let me stay, to do anything, just to stay by her side, even if it meant eating her excrement every day. I knelt at her feet, pleading with her to let me be her living toilet, to let me die in her toilet. I knew I had been completely brainwashed; the words I uttered were unbelievable even to myself.

At the time, that's truly what I thought, because besides my family in Anhui, she was the only person in the world I truly loved. I had endured seven years of hardship for her, pouring all my emotions into her. Yet, she truly only saw me as her slave, an object she possessed.

"What are you?" she said, elegantly crossing her legs. "I'm a lowly thing to be played with by my master! My entire life must obey my master's will!" I knelt on the ground reciting this, the slave code I had to memorize every day since moving into her basement!

"My master now orders you to get out!" Thinking about it, wasn't this exactly what I wanted? Back then, she didn't want me; I was the one kneeling and begging her to take me as her slave. I swore to her then that I would absolutely obey any of her orders, even if it meant my death. Today, she certainly had the right to dispose of me as she pleased.

When He Yanhua's strong arms shoved me out of the car door and took my two bags from the trunk and threw them on the ground, I was so desperate that I even had a fleeting thought of suicide.

Before leaving Luo's mansion, I pleaded to return to work in the computer department of Chunda Company, but General Manager Luo refused, saying she no longer wanted to see me at the company. She said I was just a condom she had to throw away after use, because she never wanted to see the dirty things she had used.

I knew the real reason was that young man named Fei Ning. He was Luo Yuanchun's newly recruited slave online. He was eight years younger than me, tall and handsome, a real heartthrob. But he was a born submissive. More than six months before I was abandoned, the master asked Xin Xin to help her find a submissive with potential for training online. She wanted to recruit another slave, and among the many replies, she interviewed two and finally chose Fei Ning.

Upon seeing the young man, she was consumed by jealousy. He was not only young and handsome, but also had a pair of warm and melancholic eyes. Luo Yuanchun said she would train him into her chamber pot as quickly as possible.

Immediately after being abandoned, I went to Zhang Lindan, begging her to take me in. But she said fiercely, "You're only fit to be my living toilet. I won't give you anything to eat except vitamin pills and my excrement. You have to sign a life-or-death agreement with me, and you'll be responsible for your own life and death." I was terrified, vaguely feeling that she wanted to kill me. And I wasn't willing to die for her.

It took me considerable effort to find Bai Xiaoyue. She felt sorry for me, but she couldn't help me. She suggested asking her master, Jiao Dawei, if he could help me find a job, but Jiao refused. Xiaoyue then asked Jiao if I could stay and serve him with her, but Jiao Dawei also refused, saying he had already taken in a couple of slaves and didn't want to take in any more for the time being. He also ordered Xiaoyue not to contact me because I hadn't found a job for a long time. I was starving and emaciated. My stomach pain was getting worse, often keeping me awake at night.

Now I have a deeper understanding of SM. Although I don't regret getting involved in SM, the regrets it left me with and the problems it revealed made me re-examine it. The essential characteristic of SM is the unequal relationship between master and slave, and if the submissive cannot be independent and relies too much on the dominant, the ending will be quite tragic. Because the dominant controls everything at will, the submissive will eventually become very passive and helpless.

Why does this willing inequality exist? Foucault, a pioneer in SM research, proposed the concept of "de-genitalization of sexual pleasure." This means that SM separates sexual pleasure from the reproductive organs, manifesting as a new paradigm of bodily erogenous mechanisms and a reorganization of erogenous zones, breaking the traditional dictatorship of the reproductive organs over sexual pleasure. A slap, a whipping, a kiss on the queen's feet can give a slave masochistic pleasure in SM; this is the de-genitalization of sexual pleasure stimulation from genital stimulation to stimulation of other parts of the body. A contemptuous look, a humiliating word, a humiliating gesture can give a slave masochistic pleasure in SM; this is the de-genitalization of sexual pleasure stimulation from genital stimulation to psychological stimulation.

However, men and women may have different views on SM. Regardless of gender, there are reasons for seeking a SM partner. My search for a SM partner began with sexual interest; Luo Yuanchun was too beautiful and too outstanding, and I was captivated by her when I had no defenses and no experience. I initially thought Luo Yuanchun was a passionate person, and that her choice of a BDSM partner was primarily for enjoyment. Many women believe love and sex are intertwined; sex stems from emotion, and only through the unity of desire and passion can the original sin of sex be eliminated, allowing one to experience sexual pleasure. At least, Luo Yingchun, Zhang Lindan, and Bai Xiaoyue all said this. This phenomenon isn't hard to understand, because whether it's a dominant or submissive woman, she is first and foremost a woman, and the desire for pleasure is a common psychological trait among women. This naturally achieves her goal—satisfying her sadistic or masochistic desires. But now it seems that while Luo may have had feelings for me initially, those feelings quickly faded, and I was left with only her utility. Love is love, and sex is sex; the two are completely separate. Years ago, I realized that I could neither get sex nor love from her; I was merely her property.

But is there affection in BDSM? Is this affection love? Can there be love in BDSM?

Now, thinking about it, there isn't. Perhaps from the very beginning, I was used by Luo Yuanchun. Because of a lack of attention to mental health, I was momentarily led astray. She exploited my ignorance and youth, enslaving my mind for her own debauchery and comfort. She was an extremely selfish woman, relentlessly exploiting, abusing, and ruining me. I was merely a tool to provide her with temporary sexual stimulation and comfort. Sometimes, I felt like her electric vaginal massager, perhaps even less than that.

My experience with Luo Yuanchun is a contemporary manifestation of human nihilism. Spiritual confusion, lost faith, unrestrained hedonism, and self-destructive decadence combine to make our spirits and souls mired in a materialistic, sensual life, unable to extricate themselves.

SM relationships can indeed be divided into two categories—game-like and life-like. For "game-like" relationships, SM is a game. Within the game, there is an unequal master-slave relationship; outside the game, there is an equal relationship. The feelings during the game and the feelings outside the game are two different things.

For SM enthusiasts in the "lifestyle" category, both parties are constantly engaged in the SM process in their daily lives, so there's no distinction between "on-screen" and "off-screen." For those in the "game" category, both parties are human, not machines, and the constant switching between on-screen and off-screen roles makes it difficult to maintain control. Furthermore, the long-term off-screen romantic relationships, spousal relationships, or friendships can distort the SM experience, making it difficult for the submissive (M) to find their own feelings within the game, and for the

dominant (S) to find their own feelings within the game, making it difficult to physically abuse or verbally humiliate. For those in the "lifestyle" category, initially, a dominant might agree to a 24/7 master-slave relationship because they fall in love with the submissive. In this relationship, the submissive has lost their masculinity and becomes a complete slave. Can a woman's love for a man who has lost his masculinity and is constantly in a slave position last? Impossible.

"Lifestyle" SM, also known as "lifestyle" or "24/7" male slavery, is essentially a domestic slave in real life. This type of SM can also be called virtual "mind control." Is there genuine affection in "lifestyle" SM? What kind of affection is it? It's certain that "affection" is excluded.

Actually, I had long since stopped demanding affection from my master. For M, what he needed was a queen who was always high and mighty, a mistress who treated him like nothing, wantonly abusing and humiliating him. A mistress who loved him wouldn't let him experience this feeling, and this feeling was precisely what he said he sought and craved. Later, I became her "dog slave." Our relationship became the affection between a master and a dog, and the affection between a dog and a master. It was the kind of "affection" between a master and a pet. Later still, I became her "toilet slave," and our relationship became the master's feeling towards the toilet and the toilet's adoration of the master. Indeed, an "unequal" relationship was the core of our relationship. The affection between us was one-sided; I had affection and love for her, but she had none for me.

In other words, the root of the unequal relationship was this "adoration." An unequal relationship can be achieved through two paths. One is that the slave transforms himself into something inhuman, like an animal, furniture, or a toilet, while the master remains human.

Emotionally speaking, humans have feelings; they are not precisely emotionless machines. I became her toilet, her chamber pot, out of love for her. I mistakenly believed I was in love, but now I realize it was a huge misconception. Is my ending a tragedy of SM, or a tragedy of humanity?

I became her slave because I loved her, but she didn't make me her toilet because she loved me. The reason for this "life-related" master-slave relationship might be due to "desire." One party needs this relationship to satisfy their "masochistic desires," "submissive desires," and "desire to suffer," while she also needs this relationship to satisfy her "sadistic desires," "dominant desires," and "enjoyment desires." Both parties experience a different kind of "sexual pleasure" from this relationship.

Now, my definition of sadomasochism is: it is a sexual activity that links pleasure with pain and humiliation, or a sexual activity that obtains pleasure through humiliation and pain. It must be clarified that the so-called pain has two connotations: one is physical pain (such as the pain caused by whipping); the other is mental pain (such as the pain caused by the humiliation of a dominance-submission relationship). If inflicting pain on others leads to one's own sexual arousal, it falls under the category of sadomasochistic tendencies; if receiving pain leads to one's own sexual arousal, it falls under the category of masochistic tendencies. The core elements of sadomasochistic relationships are the relationship of domination and subjugation and behaviors that cause psychological and physical pain. Sadomasochistic behaviors, whether inflicted or received, real, simulated, symbolic, or even merely imagined, can, upon maturation, become a method of satisfying sexual urges, achieving catharsis without sexual intercourse.

Indeed, the female slave's "worship" of the male master aligns with the sexual psychology of women towards men in a patriarchal society, and the male master's "affection and care" towards the female slave. If the male-master/female-slave relationship represents a positive development in heterosexual relationships within a patriarchal society, then the male slave's "worship" of the female master does not align with the sexual psychology of men towards women in a patriarchal society, and the female master's "affection and care" towards the male slave. The female-master/male-slave relationship can be seen as an inversion, a reverse transformation, of heterosexual relationships within a patriarchal society. This is precisely what makes it even more stimulating.

The relationship between the female protagonist and the male slave is reversed; their relationship outside and during the SM process is completely different, creating a huge psychological contrast between the two, making it difficult to achieve the wonderful state of perfect union of "spirit and flesh" where both the on-screen and off-screen aspects are part of the performance.

However, I believe that the fundamental characteristic of SM is mutual consent, without harming the interests of third parties or the public interest. Therefore, the law has no need to interfere with SM. SM is a sexual orientation, a form of sexual activity, and a sexual right. Sexual rights are a personal right and should be protected by law.

Although the submissive suffers the most ruthless abuse and torment from the dominant, everything is voluntary. Legally, I have no right to seek justice from Luo Yuanchun. Because from the beginning, I have already relinquished that right, and this relinquishment is the core of the SM game. Ultimately, SM is a game, and should only be a game. It can provide new stimulation for the rich, and it can also become a game for the poor. While it can become a lifestyle for the rich, it should not be a lifestyle for us poor people because the poor lack the capital.

It has been 10 months since I left Luo. I live frugally every day, but I still spend 400 yuan a month. Luo could have easily given me a job, but she wouldn't. She is so cruel and heartless. But why couldn't she treat me the same way? I can even imagine Fei Ning's fate seven years later. After he was ruined by Luo Yuanchun, he was destined to be abandoned.

For the first few months, I kept blaming myself. I had been kept by such an outstanding woman before, perhaps I didn't cherish her enough, didn't serve her wholeheartedly, but I did everything I could, I should say I did everything a person couldn't do alone. Maybe I shouldn't have met Luo in the first place. Gradually, I developed some resentment towards her. How could she treat me like this! But why couldn't she treat me like this? Wasn't this what I had always longed for at the beginning?

I opened a thick diary, in which I had carefully recorded my daily sexual life with Luo Yuanchun. Out of boredom, I documented her detailed sexual activities from May 2005 to the end of April 2006: She had sex a total of 294 times throughout the year; 78 times with Yu Xuan, 39 times with Mike, 16 times with Dawei, 13 times with Jian Zhongnian, 11 times with Li Gang, 7 times with Secretary-General X, 3 times with Vice Governor X, 3 times with Vice Mayor X, 2 times with American He, 2 times with a professor, 2 times with Director X, 3 times with Director Yu, 3 times with Tom, 4 times with Dick, 2 times with Xiao Guang, 2 times with President Cheng, 1 time with General Manager Liu, 1 time with General Manager Chen, 1 time with Director Xia, and 7 additional encounters in the wild; there are also records of sexual intercourse with her slaves: 2 times with Ye xx, 2 times with Duan, 3 times with Chen Junqing, 0 times with me, and 17 times with Liu Xinxin. I also have a detailed record of my activities while serving Luo Yuanchun: licking her anus clean 192 times after she defecated, eating her "complete feces" 3 times, licking her clean after she urinated 127 times, drinking her urine 316 times, being whipped by her 4 times, and directly cleaning her genitals with my tongue 94 times after she had sex. I also served her female slave Liu Xinxin urinated 42 times, licking her anus 46 times after she urinated; served her bodyguard He Yanhua urinated 63 times, licking her anus 76 times; served her girlfriend Zhang Lindan using the toilet 3 times, Aunt Su twice, Zheng Manli once, Fu Shasha twice, and her sister Luo Yingchun using the toilet 6 times.

Actually, in the last period, Luo Yuanchun didn't forget me; every few days she would have Liu Xinxin come down and feed me. The lesbian Liu Xinxin was an exceptionally clean girl; she only liked to urinate on my face and didn't like to defecate in my mouth, but to carry out her master's orders, she would occasionally defecate in my mouth, but mainly she would have me lick her anus. …

It's strange, but every time I lay in that commode chair serving my master's female slave and bodyguard, I imagined I was indirectly serving Master Yuanchun, because the anus I was licking was the one the bodyguard and female slave were intimately serving… This indirect service, of course, still gave me a sense of psychological satisfaction.

I opened the door, my lifeless, dull eyes bulging like a dead fish as I looked one last time at the cold stove and the sparse furnishings in the room. Luo gave me 10,000 yuan, which I spent in less than six months.

Without a single grain of food, I silently closed the door. My heart turned to ice-cold in the instant I turned away; the temperature was enough to freeze all the fish in the Pacific Ocean to death.

A month ago, I went to work at Fu Shasha's bathhouse, barely earning 8,000 yuan a month, but the work was extremely tiring. My stomach was aching terribly, and the stomach medicine I bought from the pharmacy was completely ineffective.

I was filled with grief and indignation, and in my grief and indignation, I climbed a wooden staircase to the roof. I wasn't going to jump, although that was once a thought of mine. I just went to the rooftop to breathe in the mingled aromas of cooking oil, vinegar, and various other unidentified scents that were invigorating. The rooftop is my favorite place; it's a way to give my rotting, moldy mood a breath of fresh air.

Sitting on the rooftop, everything seemed irritating. The world felt like it was about to collapse. The sky was as gloomy as lead or ashen gray, and the sunset had turned into layers of dull, lifeless paper money, hanging lingeringly in the stagnant, gray sky, giving one a hazy, depressed, and miserable feeling of being neither alive nor dead. Summer here has no refreshing breeze, no tranquil stillness, let alone white clouds drifting gently across the blue sky. There's only dust floating lazily in the stale air, and only rustling leaves trembling among the crisscrossing branches, clinging stubbornly to the branches, unwilling to fall or drift away. Just like me, I stubbornly cling to this unwelcoming city, barely surviving. Sparrows, their feathers stained grayer than the city walls, hop and chirp on the branches, oblivious to spring, summer, autumn, or winter, oblivious to my life-or-death struggle.

In my memory, May in Nanjing was the most anticipated month. Either the sky was high and clear, the sun shone brightly, and white clouds drifted across the blue sky; or it was a lingering, drizzling plum rain, a chilly evening breeze. But in Nanjing at this time, I could see nothing, hear nothing. Except for this gray sky, except for this cacophony of sounds. June in Nanjing is also a season of harvest, but what have I harvested? Standing on the rooftop, looking at the white clouds, as decaying and stagnant as my own life, at the pigeons that no longer bothered to circle under the dilapidated eaves, at the little prostitute sitting on the other side of the roof, her pinky finger raised, being kept by a third-rate boss, I asked myself, my heart filled with turmoil.

If I were that white cloud, I would drift out of this sky, drift to the other side of the cold mountain or the homeland of white clouds; if I were that pigeon, I would fly out of this ancient city, fly to a better place with a bright sky. I truly regret not cherishing the days when I was kept by Luo Yuanchun, when I could sit in the iron cage in the basement thinking of her, conceiving articles about SM. During the days I was her slave, I completely lost the concept of honor; anyway, there are shameless people everywhere these days, one more or one less of me wouldn't affect the social atmosphere. I shamelessly served her, but in the end…

Now, I'm not a white cloud, drifting wherever I go, still in a polluted sky; I'm not a pigeon, unable to fly out of this city. I was dumped by a woman, and I no longer have the chance to be shameless, to shamelessly be a slave to her. I can only rely on myself, on my own two hands, on the cultural knowledge I've acquired over fifteen years, on my overflowing sorrow, and here I am now.

Hoho! I chuckled dryly at the sky: "All other pursuits are inferior, only studying is noble." Damn it, I'm still drinking the cold wind, all because I was once addicted to SM. That little prostitute who barely knows a few words is now gracefully holding a wine glass, her face as rosy as a peach blossom, savoring XO, laughing at the blooming and withering of flowers, laughing at the vicissitudes of life, laughing at me, a pale-faced college graduate.

"What are you thinking about?" The little prostitute sitting opposite me suddenly raised her heavily made-up face and asked me. She languidly curled up on the bamboo chair, just as languidly as she was in her profession—not beautiful, but one that allowed her to live without labor. Her delicately manicured fingers held a fine wine glass, its contents a deep crimson liquid that could make one's blood boil and desire burn. Summer had arrived, and she loved going to the rooftop, where she would sit quietly and elegantly, sipping that wine that stirred my fantasies.

"Oh, I wonder why Van Gogh would cut off his own ear for a prostitute? Why did Hitler massacre so many Jews for a prostitute?" I said, gazing at her flushed face, her legs quite long. But in my heart, I thought: what would it feel like to have her lick my genitals?

I scrutinized her closely; she looked to be in her early twenties at most. The red wine in her stemmed glass fueled my fantasies, as did her flushed face. I longed to drink her wine, then kneel at her feet, imagining her as Liu Xinxin, embracing her legs, and caressing her feet. I needed something to release my anger and sorrow, and that masochistic urge of hunger and cold, yet inexplicably heightened.

"Do you know why?" she asked, feigning interest, or perhaps she was simply bored and looking for amusement. She swirled the delicate stemmed glass in her hand. Her flushed face possessed a breathtaking allure, reigniting my urge to serve her.

"For love! For beautiful love!" I took a deep breath to appear pure and refined. But my stomach churned as if I'd had too much alcohol, a foul, metallic taste rising within me.

"Love? Heh!" she chuckled. When she laughed, her full, high breasts trembled, making me dizzy, my vision blurred, my heart race, and a certain part of me trembled with a restless desire. Just

as I was about to speak, she let out a wanton laugh: "Is there still love in this world? This world has long since lost all feeling. My love has long since passed away like an enlightened monk." The young prostitute seemed somewhat cultured, even humorous.

I looked at her closely; actually, I just wanted to find someone to vent my masochistic emotions, and incidentally, to show off my decade-long, unused, and rather stale cultural knowledge.

I stood beside her, and she showed no consideration whatsoever. Another surge of impulse welled up within me; I really wanted to kneel before her, take her feet in my hands, and kiss them. My heart pounded as I looked at the young prostitute's prominent breasts.

"Have you found a job?" she glanced at me.

I neither nodded nor shook my head.

"Jobs are hard to find these days," she said, then smiled and handed me a cigarette, casually handing me a wine glass.

As I shamelessly smoked her cigarettes and drank her wine, I hoped she could offer me something more. So close, I could smell the strong, yet more potent, perfume emanating from her. I felt dizzy and infatuated, despite my empty stomach, my blurred vision, and my pale face.

"What kind of business does your husband do? He's always so busy," I asked, not daring to kneel before her, afraid she'd think me a pervert.

"As long as he makes money, who cares?" she sighed. "Go buy me a bottle of red wine! Use the rest to buy yourself a pack of cigarettes." She handed me a hundred-yuan note.

I nervously took the money, went downstairs, first enjoying a large bowl of Xinjiang beef noodles, then running to the mall to buy a bottle of red wine. Back home, I gave her the remaining money.

"What kind of cigarettes did you buy?" she asked.

"No cigarettes, just a bowl of noodles," I smiled sheepishly.

"Take it! Pay me back when you find a job." She didn't take the money I offered.

Tears welled up in my eyes; I was so moved, I really wanted to call her "sister" and give her a back massage. While deeply moved, I also felt guilty for having fantasized about her earlier! This guilt intensified as I carried her money in my pocket while continuing to smoke her cigarettes, drink her wine, and chat with her.

I'm not a woman. If I were, I would have been working as a prostitute eight years ago, wearing a revealing outfit that exposed my chest, back, thighs, and buttocks! How could I have waited until today? If I were a woman, even if I had food and drink, I would have become a "full-time escort" long ago for the sake of pleasure, let alone being starving like this. With my appearance, how could I even have the nerve to call someone a prostitute? I kept cursing myself in my mind, relentlessly beating myself until I was utterly disgusted. Just then, her short, crooked-nosed, glaring old man arrived in a secondhand Audi 2000. She and I both saw it. She quickly finished her glass of red wine and went downstairs. Every time that old, almost decaying man went upstairs, they would close the door—it happened often.

I was furious. If I could, I would have stormed in. Why should that short, crooked-nosed, glaring old man possess this beautiful, kind-hearted woman? Was it because of that crooked, secondhand Audi 2000? The more I thought about it, the angrier I became, and the angrier I got. That man only stayed for a short while each time, only two or three times a week. Whenever he came, the sounds of their lovemaking would come from that room, deeply wounding my gratitude for that hundred-yuan bill.

I thought of Luo Yuanchun, her sister Luo Yingchun, Zhang Lindan, and Bai Xiaoyue.

Luo Yuanchun was the person I loved most, but she was no longer by my side, no longer someone I could serve or admire.

I'm fucking poor. Because of poverty, my desire for this society has shifted from S&M to simply filling my stomach.

I must use my hands, tormented by lust and poverty, with bulging veins and flabby skin, to tightly grip the throat of fate, refusing to yield to it. Sitting in the room, I told myself this over and over. But where is the throat of fate? I don't even know how thick it is, how can I grip it? I can only use my helpless hands, with bulging veins and flabby skin, to hold myself. Hold myself for what?

In the first few months after leaving Luo Yuanchun, I missed her terribly, I truly felt like I was living a life worse than death. Twice I ran to the office building of Chunda Company hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I even went to the villa complex where she lived, hoping that when her car returned to the garage, I could kneel in the street and beg her again.

Her black Audi finally returned, I knelt down before her car, but she only glanced at me from the back seat before turning away. She didn't even look at me twice. Her car drove into the garage, the garage door slowly closed, and I knelt there, completely alone. I knew her bodyguards and female slaves must be secretly laughing at me. After kneeling for twenty minutes, I had no choice but to stand up and pretend to leave.

My stomach started hurting again, reminding me of my past experience of drinking her urine every day. I could hear the creaking of the bed next door; that damned old man was having sex with a young prostitute. I truly hated that damned old beast.

I didn't have Fei Ning's face or figure, nor did I have the young prostitute's looks. My body had once aroused desire and impulse in some women, but now all that was in the past. I had a tongue about three inches long that could flatter and lick assholes, a 176cm tall, 120-pound body that could stand for ten days or half a month without feeling tired—a body that was idle anyway—and knees that could kneel for days and nights without feeling pain. I still have a skin, a deadpan face that women can smear with excrement, urinate on, spit on, and still smile gently and silently wipe away; I still have a heart, a heart deeply servile. A heart that dreams of the future without a shred of shame. That's enough.

That night, I earned over five hundred yuan in tips at Sasa's sauna. Holding the money, all my exhaustion and weariness vanished. I flew to Nanjing's largest discount mall, bought two bottles of Dynasty dry red wine and two packs of Yuxi cigarettes with a flourish, and then happily returned to my lodgings. The young prostitute was drinking on the rooftop.

"This is for you," I said, returning the money I'd taken from her last time, "Thank you so much last time."

"Sigh! It's good that you college graduates! I want to find a job to do properly, but I just can't find one. I'm uneducated and have nothing," the young prostitute sighed helplessly.

A sudden, inexplicable, dull pain welled up inside me. I didn't know why. It seemed like it was for her, and it seemed like it was for me, and it seemed like it was for nothing at all. I felt like the whole world had fallen silent, eerily quiet. I felt terrified and wanted to find a wall and smash my head against it.

The young prostitute had drunk a lot. She gazed at the distant night sky with a misty, dreamy look, seemingly lost in thought. I watched her quietly; she was truly beautiful! Her dark, clear eyes were filled with sorrow and sadness. Her thin, arched eyebrows playfully arched upwards, her icy blue eyeshadow was dynamic and captivating, her full lips were glossy and rounded, her white, even teeth were like translucent snow, and her long eyelashes fluttered playfully… As I watched, an irresistible surge of impulse and tenderness welled up within me. I rushed over and embraced her tightly, leaning against the rooftop railing. I kissed her passionately; her breathing became rapid, her full, high breasts pressed tightly against my chest. Her small, pointed tongue, faintly scented with red wine, darted swiftly in my mouth like a happy little fish. I sucked hard, wanting to swallow it whole in a burning sensation. I kissed her, my desire uncontrollable, and I eagerly reached into her bra, groping haphazardly inside. After a long, long time, she gently pushed me away, looked at me quietly, and said, "Don't do this anymore," then took a chair and went downstairs without a word.

I suddenly thought of Xiaoyue; every time I thought of her, my heart ached. I went downstairs, bought a dozen beers, and moved a chair to the rooftop. I sipped my red wine, smiling as I watched the clouds drift by, reminiscing about the beautiful times of the past. At that moment, the warm post-rain sunshine gently bathed me, carrying a melting warmth and power, just like the feeling of Xiaoyue's slender, delicate fingers digging into my skin. The gentle, tender girl who shared my bed and we spent several days together, the beautiful girl who gave her virginity to that shameless old man—what happened to her?

I thought of that relationship, of the girl I loved but couldn't have, the girl who was ravaged by a middle-aged man every day. My memories began to surge.

The words spoken by this impulsive, unrestrained prostitute sounded like the words of Xiaoyue, the girl I had secretly loved for years, who had once confided in me with boundless tenderness. These were the most moving, unforgettable words I had ever heard in my life! Her eyes were cold, her expression indifferent, and she spoke without batting an eye.

"You have to think positively. If you can't, there's nothing I can do. This is a big city; nobody believes in tears and love here. But I'm truly grateful for how much you cared for me, how much you loved and cherished me when we were together. I'm so grateful..."

What could I say? Who could tell me? What good would it do? Heartbreak is an indescribable pain!

I sobbed uncontrollably. I cried out to the darkness, to the surging Yangtze River.

It seems there are more shameless women in this world than shameless men. I'm one of the most shameless men out there.

Why am I thinking about these things? Knowing full well it's a deep scar, I still pick at it, knowing full well that picking and digging will cause that painful, sorrowful, crimson liquid to flow out, yet I still grab, touch, and finally rub it. I loudly questioned myself and the scattered bottles in front of me. I stood up, feeling a little unsteady. Was I drunk? I picked up a chair and threw it downstairs. Thinking about those past events would drive me crazy. I don't have a computer, so I can only seek solace in pornography.

I went downstairs and saw the prostitute fumbling for her keys, trying several times without success. When I finally found the keys in her exquisite crocodile handbag, I also felt something bulging under the plastic packaging. I knew what it was. The prostitute opened the door, fumbled on the wall for a while, and then pressed the light switch. The young prostitute stood in the pale, dim light, her long, flowing hair cascading down her smooth, rounded shoulders like a waterfall.

Under the influence of strong alcohol, something should have happened, shouldn't it? At the very least, a deep, affectionate gaze? I stood at the door, shamelessly hoping something would happen, hoping she would let me in, and then…and then do something.

Nothing, nothing at all. A door slammed shut just centimeters from my nose, startling me.

The corridor was dark. The night was sadly dark, desperately dark, a lonely and desolate darkness.

The next day, while I was still fast asleep, lost in erotic dreams, a series of intermittent knocks came at the door. I got up and opened it; it was the young prostitute.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, leaving Nanjing," she said.

"Where to?" I asked impatiently.

"To the men who need me but don't love me," she said silently.

"Don't you miss this place at all?" I sensed the poignant sadness of parting.

The young prostitute remained silent for a long, long time before slowly saying, "When I came to this city, I was just a masseuse. I didn't want anything from this city. I just wanted to earn some money through my hard work to support my younger brother's schooling. I couldn't bear to see my mother, so thin and frail, running to the blood bank time and time again. I came to this city, but they don't need my massages; they only need my body! I've been here for five years… My mother died on her way home after selling blood, and my brother was arrested for stealing… I don't know why I'm still here? Why I'm still alive in this world? I…" Before she could finish, the young prostitute was already sobbing uncontrollably, large, glistening tears silently sliding down her pale, haggard face.

"Don't be like this, don't cry. You'll make me cry too." I gently put my arm around her shoulder, and she nestled in my arms, choking back sobs as she told her story… And I, too, wept, thinking of my own tragic experiences.

The day the young prostitute left was a beautiful, sunny day. This kind of neurotic, mentally unstable weather is common in Nanjing.

The young prostitute dragged a heavy suitcase, slowly making her way down a steep, narrow stairwell. No one was helping her; she seemed to be struggling.

"I'll help you!" I said, walking over. She silently placed the suitcase on the ground. The suitcase was indeed heavy; it must have contained some of her daily necessities.

We crossed the street and entered the station, where I put down the suitcase. Amidst the noisy, chaotic traffic, I tightly embraced the young prostitute. There was no thrill, no ecstasy, not even a trace of impulse or passion, yet I held her tightly. Her head was turned to one side. The piercing horns stopped, all the noise and commotion vanished, leaving only the sound of a heart slowly breaking. A painful sound.

The train slowly drove away. Where would she go? Where could she possibly go? She went to those strangers who needed her, to the hazy neon lights of some city, to quietly lay herself bare, bare without love or romance. What awaited her? In her eyes, I saw tears, so desolate, so cold, so sorrowful, so compelling that I wanted to embrace her. Perhaps from the moment she lost control of her fate, she didn't know what awaited her, just as I don't know what my future holds. We've lost so much, including passion and longing for life, sincerity and expectation for love, even the courage and confidence to live on. We've become accustomed to being abandoned by city after city, by person after person, even by ourselves, in darkness, in decadence, in negativity, in repeated indulgences.

Standing on the rooftop in the darkness, I looked up and gave a bitter laugh at the empty sky. I think I should leave. The little prostitute who loved red wine and had her delicate fingers no longer adorned this rooftop, though she was no longer pure.

A rooftop without that little prostitute is like a sky without birds, though their wings may constantly wound the sky's heart! A sky without birds is like a year without love, though SM has left me physically and mentally exhausted and powerless…

I feel lost. Should I stay here? Because I can't bear to give up that job of serving women all day, bowing and scraping, using my tongue like toilet paper, or because I dream that tomorrow in Nanjing will give me a Luo Yuanchun who will leave me without looking back, haughty and arrogant?

Then where should I go? I ask myself.

Pain… torment… struggle…

I run to the rooftop and scream my heart out at the distant sky.

(The End)

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[Wuxia] The Unconventional Life of a Woman in Jinling (Complete) - 26 Chapters

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