An older man's confession: My love affair with a beautiful Arab woman (13-18)

13.
Late July was approaching, and Zhao Lin was preparing to return to China. She had to cut her family visit leave short because of a case she absolutely had to handle.
I asked her what case she absolutely had to take. Zhao Lin said it wasn't a big case, but her best friend Fei Yaling's divorce case. She rarely handled divorce cases, but Fei Yaling trusted her completely and insisted on entrusting it to her.
I was quite surprised, "Fei Yaling is getting a divorce?"
"Of course! Her wealthy husband found a mistress and wants a divorce, but she doesn't have any dirt on him and doesn't want to be at a disadvantage in the property division, so she asked me to stand up for her."
Fei Yaling was Zhao Lin's high school senior; they had been friends for over ten or twenty years. Zhao Lin really had no choice but to take this case.
Fei Yaling will appear several more times later in the text, but that's another story for now.
On the day Zhao Lin and her daughter returned to China, Ai Mai Ni was supposed to go to the airport to see them off, but I stopped her. I knew Zhao Lin didn't want to see her, so why add to her worries?
After Zhao Lin returned to China, I returned the house and car to Aimeini. Soon after, news came that Zhao Lin was pregnant, and we were both overjoyed at the arrival of this little life.
Days passed, and one day, Aimeini had a conflict with a Moroccan man at the project site.
The man, named Hassan, was in his thirties, tall and handsome, well-dressed, with a neatly trimmed beard—a typical Arab man. Later, I learned that he was Aimeini's husband.
Hassan had driven a Land Rover to the project site to find Aimeini, and the two were talking by the car, their argument escalating until they started arguing.
A junior Chinese manager intervened, speaking to Hassan in Arabic. Hassan arrogantly retorted, "Get out of here, she's my wife, it's none of your business."
Seeing that the man was tall and imposing, and appeared wealthy and powerful, the junior Chinese manager could only tell Aimeini that they were at the project site and should talk outside. Then he left.
No one dared to approach, and everyone could only stand nearby and watch. Hassan's emotions grew increasingly agitated. As Amyne turned to walk towards the office, Hassan grabbed her wrist, yelling, "Let go of me!" He then slapped her across the face.
Gasps of alarm erupted, and I, along with several young employees (some Chinese, some Moroccan), rushed over. Fearing a conflict, I gestured for the project team to calm down and also told Hassan to calm down in Arabic.
In his rage, Hassan threw a punch at me. Amid Amyne's scream, I, already prepared, ducked aside. Taking advantage of the force of his punch and the awkwardness of his attack, I slipped behind him and tackled him against the hood of the Land Rover SUV. Simultaneously, I twisted Hassan's wrist with one hand and gripped the back of his neck with the other, pinning him down and immobilizing him.
Hassan struggled and swore in Arabic. I said to him, "Friend, please calm down. This is not the place for you to act violently."
The people around applauded. My Arabic knowledge was limited, so I could only speak in Chinese. I said to a few colleagues, "Can someone translate for me?"
A young Chinese colleague repeated my words to Hassan in Arabic. He finally quieted down, and I let him go.
Hassan, still cursing, prepared to get into the car, but I stopped him, pointed at Aymani, and said, "Before you leave, apologize to this lady."
The colleague continued translating my words.
"What?" Hassan looked incredulous, pointing to himself, "Apologize to a woman, and she's my wife? Are you crazy?"
The colleague translated his words into Chinese. I knew that in the Islamic world, women have a very low status, even in relatively progressive Morocco.
Amy tugged at my arm and shook her head, saying, "Forget it, let him go..."
I ignored Amy and said to my colleague, "Tell him that men and women are equal in this world. If this were our country, he would be punished by law for slapping someone like that without an apology. Although this is Morocco, this is a Chinese project site, and we must follow Chinese rules. If you hit someone, you must apologize, especially if you hit a woman."
As I said this, Amy's eyes filled with tears. My colleague then spoke to Hassan, who, seeing that he couldn't beat me and that we outnumbered him, had no choice but to lower his previously arrogant head and give Amy a perfunctory reply.
I also knew when to stop. After all, they were a couple, and this was Morocco. I didn't know anything about this guy, and he acted like he was rich and powerful. I didn't want to cause trouble for the project site.
Hassan drove away dejectedly, and my colleagues gave him another round of applause.
During my time in Morocco, I learned some things. It's not easy for us Chinese to do projects abroad; we are often bullied by the locals. North African men are generally tall and strong, putting Chinese people at a physical disadvantage. Coupled with their somewhat timid nature and being in someone else's country, they often choose to swallow their anger and avoid conflict, as was the case with the junior manager earlier.
Therefore, everyone felt a sense of satisfaction with my actions. Of course, most Moroccans are friendly towards Chinese people, but there are a few hot-tempered individuals.
Amidst the applause, I asked Amy, "How are you? Are you alright?"
Amy shook her head, tears streaming down her face, saying she was fine, and turned to leave. The junior manager from earlier scolded everyone, "Disperse! Don't we have work to do?" Everyone then dispersed.
I never imagined that my impulsive act of standing up for Amy, while earning praise from my colleagues in the project department, would later cause trouble for both of us. Near
the end of the workday, Amy texted me saying she wanted to drink. I knew that after what happened, she needed to vent, needed to confide in someone, which was why she disobeyed Allah's will again. I agreed.
I secretly slipped out of the project office and hid in a far-off place to wait for Amyni. A little while later, her Ford Escape pulled up, and I got in.
Amyni said Settat was too small, there weren't many foreigners, and it was hard to find places to drink; she suggested we go to her place in Rabat. I initially had reservations about being alone in a room with a married Muslim woman, but then I thought, we're already close friends who can talk about anything. If she, a woman, is so open and generous, why should I, a grown man, be so shy?
On the way to Rabat, I told Amyni about Zhao Lin's pregnancy. She was taken aback at first, then congratulated me; I noticed her emotions were a bit complicated.
That night at Amyni's place, we drank a lot and talked a lot. Amyni said that shortly after returning to Morocco from China, she met Hassan. At that time, she hadn't yet recovered from her emotional entanglement with an older man. Pursued by Hassan, and hoping to quickly start a new relationship and completely forget the older man, she got together with him and later married him.
Hassan came from a wealthy family, and her parents were very satisfied. However, after the marriage, she discovered that Hassan already had a wife and a child with her. If Amyni had known Hassan was married, she wouldn't have married him as his second wife.
More importantly, as time went on, Hassan's extreme male chauvinism, typical of Arab men, became increasingly apparent, making it unbearable for Amyni. For example, he demanded that Amyni not work after marriage and become a full-time housewife, leading to numerous arguments.
Amyni then filed for divorce, but Hassan refused. In fact, before we arrived in Morocco, she and Hassan had already been separated for quite some time.
“You know what? After we got married, he hit me more than once. Every time my parents found out, they didn’t think it was a big deal. In their eyes, it’s perfectly normal for a husband to hit his wife…”
Amy took a sip of her drink, wiped away her tears, and smiled helplessly. “So today you asked him to apologize to me. Not only does he find it unbelievable, but even I… I myself am surprised and taken aback…”
She paused, her eyes filled with sorrow. “From childhood to adulthood, I never imagined that a man would stand up for me like this. Even my father wouldn’t do such a thing…”
She then told me that Hassan came to see her today to win back her heart and persuade her not to divorce him. Before coming to the project site today, Hassan had already harassed her several times, only to be rejected and even avoided by her repeatedly. But Hassan didn’t give up, so he came to the project site.
I used to speculate that Amy’s husband must be an excellent man, but now it seems my guess was wrong. Although Hassan is outstanding in appearance, he is a bastard who disrespects women and is even rude and violent.
Looking at this beautiful, sorrowful Arab woman, I felt the sadness and helplessness of Muslim women.
Even a well-educated, independent-minded, and freedom-loving intellectual woman like Aymani could hardly escape the shackles that suppressed humanity.

14.
Later, Aymani got drunk, and I carried her to bed. When I covered her with a blanket, she suddenly wrapped her arms around my neck, so tightly that I lay on top of her, pressed against her full breasts.
The soft, full touch, her fragrant breath, and the close contact made my heart pound. She was such a captivating beauty; probably no man could remain unmoved in such a situation.
I was irresistibly confused. I thought, she had always been so passionate towards me, regarding me as a confidante; if I wanted to do something now, wouldn't she be willing and expecting it?
"Aymani..." I murmured softly.
She murmured something, didn't speak, and made the sound of breathing in her sleep. I removed her hands and tiptoed out of the house.
When I got downstairs, I saw it was already late. I had to get back to the project site early the next morning, so I didn't plan to find a hotel and got into Amy's car.
Memories flooded back. Zhao Lin, Li Meishan, Amy—these three women in my life: one my ex-wife and current wife, another a lover with whom I had a deeply memorable experience, and the third my confidante in a foreign land…
On this summer night, in this Mediterranean country thousands of miles from China, my emotions were tossed and turned by these three women.
I didn't wake up until Amy called me; it was already dawn. And only then did she realize I hadn't left, but had spent the night in her car.
On the way back to the project site, I got out of the car nearby to avoid being recognized as having come with Amy.
Old Chu asked why I hadn't returned all night. I said a friend from China had come and invited me to meet in Rabat.
In the days that followed, rumors about Amy and me began to circulate.
Some said the man who came that day was Amy's husband, and that I hit him because of my affair with Amy.
Others said that one night Amy and I didn't return to our respective dorms, staying out all night until the next morning, when Amy arrived at the project office right after me.
I felt betrayed by my three roommates, but I didn't know which of them had told the tale.
The design institute's leadership called me, warning me that as a married man, I shouldn't have anything inappropriate with a foreign woman, especially since she was also married, and that I shouldn't make mistakes in my personal life or cause a bad influence on the company.
I told the leadership that Amy and I were completely innocent and there was nothing going on. The leadership told me to be careful.
To avoid further gossip, the North Africa office transferred Amy back to Rabat. From then on, I rarely saw her, and we even reduced our contact until we basically stopped communicating.
I guess my friendship with this beautiful Arab woman had come to an end? Her secrets, which she had never told anyone but me, and her sorrow and poignant beauty, will forever remain in my heart.
In mid-September of that year, I received an opportunity to return to China, not for a family visit, but for business.
As the project progressed, the client and our design institute were to discuss the next phase of the design. The client wanted to send someone to Chengdu to also inspect similar completed and operational projects in the surrounding area.
As the on-site designers for this project, one of the four of us needed to accompany the client's personnel back to China. Because the client had high requirements for the accompanying person, this task could only be completed by me or Lao Chu.
Lao Chu told me privately that he had been away for so long and wanted to go home. I understood; although there was one family visit leave per year, who wouldn't want to seize such an extra opportunity to return home?
Although as the project manager for the design team, I was the most suitable person to return to China this time, and the decision was entirely in my hands, I could have easily used my position for personal reasons and accompanied the client's staff back myself—no one could object to that. However, Zhao Lin had already visited relatives here once, and considering Lao Chu's age and the difficulties he faced, I gave him the opportunity.
Although I knew that Lao Chu was most likely the one who leaked my story of not returning home that night, leading to the rumors about me and Ai Mai Ni spreading throughout the project department, and that he was also the one who reported me to the institute, causing me to be criticized by the leadership—the two younger ones were unlikely—I didn't take the opportunity to retaliate against Lao Chu. Instead, I chose to grant him his wish and gave up this readily available opportunity.
After all, our small group needed to work together to do a good job on the project, and as the team leader, why should I bother with such trivial matters?
But who would have thought that things wouldn't go as planned? Before returning to China, Lao Chu contracted malaria and couldn't go, so I had to take his place.
I was quite looking forward to this unplanned trip home, because I would finally be able to spend some more time with Zhao Lin. Since her pregnancy, I've missed her terribly. Although it was only for three weeks, it was undoubtedly a delightful surprise for us.
I didn't tell Zhao Lin beforehand because I wanted to surprise her; I could even imagine her tears of joy when she saw me arrive.
Just as I told myself in Morocco, Zhao Lin is the only woman I will spend the rest of my life with.
On the day of departure, I arrived early at Rabat's Sierra International Airport to wait for the client's representatives, and unexpectedly ran into Amy.
We chatted and learned that we were both accompanying the client's team on their trip to China for negotiations and inspections.
Amy was dispatched by the North Africa office as a translator to accompany the client's team back home. Although there are many people in the office who speak both Chinese and Arabic, those whose native language is Chinese don't speak Arabic as well as Amy, and those whose native language is Arabic don't speak Chinese as well as Amy. Moreover, she had worked in the project department for a while and had a good understanding of the project, making her undoubtedly the best candidate for this translation task.
"Wasn't it supposed to be Lao Chu going? Why did it change to you?" Amy couldn't hide her surprise at my appearance.
I told her that Lao Chu had contracted malaria and couldn't go. I guessed that if Lao Chu hadn't been the first person nominated instead of me, the office probably wouldn't have sent Amy for this business trip.
I felt secretly fortunate and comfortable having this beautiful and old friend, Amy, accompany me on the long journey ahead.
I could tell that Amy was quite happy. She pointed to the backpack on my shoulder and asked why I had so little luggage. It didn't look like I was going on a long trip.
I laughed and said, "You're going abroad, but I'm going home. I don't need anything at home, so I just brought some personal belongings."
After a while, three people from the client company arrived. I recognized two of them; we had met and exchanged ideas several times, so we were old acquaintances.
Our group of five (four men and one woman, four Moroccans and one Chinese) departed from Rabat and flew to China.
We were flying business class, and Amy and I sat together. During the flight, she quietly told me that she had finally divorced Hassan, not long after he had caused a scene at the project site.
I was quite surprised and asked him why he had agreed to it. Amy said that although Hassan was a scoundrel, he understood that forced relationships don't work out. Besides, I wasn't his personal property; what could he do to me?
“But he said that one day I would return to his side on my own…”
Amy said, a contemptuous sneer appearing on her face, “Keep dreaming!”
While I felt relieved for Amy, I was also vaguely worried for her. Later events proved that Hassan and his family were no ordinary people; his words were not just empty talk.
The entire flight involved two layovers in Paris and Shanghai, and after more than thirty hours of travel, we were about to land at Chengdu Shuangliu International Airport.
As my birthplace drew closer, and as the lights of the Land of Abundance grew increasingly dim below the airplane window, I saw Amy sitting beside me, her expression becoming complex. I understood her feelings; she had studied and lived in that city for four years, and had experienced a painful emotional entanglement she couldn't bear to recall.
My own heart was also churning. More than half a year ago, I left that land with endless self-reproach and guilt towards Li Meishan, heading to distant Morocco.
Now I had returned, carrying with me the longing for my wife. Yes, I was really eager to see Zhao Lin at that moment. She, my daughter, and the baby in her belly were my sole motivation for all my hard work.
But I never expected that this return would bring a completely different outcome than I had imagined.
It was late at night when the plane landed, and the design institute sent someone and a car to pick me up. To save time, I had my colleagues take the guests directly to the hotel, and I took a taxi home myself.
"Engineer Chen, see you tomorrow!" After saying goodbye to the three clients, Ai Mai Ni waved and smiled at me.
I waved back to her, "Yeah, see you at the institute tomorrow."
Filled with sweetness and warmth, I returned home, weary from my journey.
Although I couldn't make love to Zhao Lin because of her pregnancy, it was still nice for the two of us to talk and be affectionate in other ways.
"Wife, I'm home! Wife..." I turned on the living room light and walked towards the master bedroom.
When I pushed open the door to the master bedroom, I was stunned by what I saw...

15.
Zhao Lin was in a chaotic mess on the bed with a man, neither of them wearing clothes.
The man had a great physique—strong, well-proportioned, with sculpted muscles; he was undeniably sexy for a woman.
I couldn't believe my eyes. I'd flown all this way back only to witness my beloved wife cheating on me with another man, and to make matters worse, she was pregnant with my child. How could she do this? This woman was utterly promiscuous.
In that instant, it was as if a bucket of ice water had been poured over my head, extinguishing all my passion. At the same time, a fire of anger ignited within me.
Zhao Lin was both ashamed and frightened. In a panic, she pulled a towel over her naked body, trembling. I couldn't help but feel both angry and amused. I thought to myself, "You've already slept with another man, and you're afraid your husband will see you naked?"
The couple stared at me, dumbfounded, their faces filled with shame and fear. Zhao Lin didn't dare look me in the eye, lowering her head. The air in the room seemed to freeze. After a long while, Zhao Lin timidly said, "Husband...husband..."
I glared at her fiercely and slammed the bedroom door shut.
I sat on the sofa and smoked for a while. Choi Tae-ho came out, dressed. He was so ashamed that he didn't dare to look me in the eye. He lowered his head and said, "Old Chen, I'm sorry..."
I rushed over and punched him in the face. He neither dodged nor resisted. He was knocked over and fell onto the sofa.
I grabbed him and started punching his handsome face, the face that could make countless women swoon, yelling as I hit him, "You fucking came to my house to sleep with my wife, and you think an 'sorry' is enough?"
Zhao Lin also came out of the bedroom, wearing a spaghetti-strap nightgown. She gasped and pulled me forcefully, shouting to Cui Taihao, "Go away, go away!"
I stopped. Cui Taihao wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and said, "If I don't leave, what if he hits you?"
He then said to me, "Old Chen, it's all my fault. If you want to hit me, it has nothing to do with Zhao Lin. Please don't make things difficult for her."
Zhao Lin said anxiously, "What are you saying now? Go away!"
"You fucking think you're so righteous, huh? Then I'll grant your wish..."
I shouted angrily, about to hit him again, but Zhao Lin held me back tightly, crying and begging me, "Honey, calm down. Do you want to wake up the neighbors?"
Although I was furious, this was my house, and making a scene would do neither of us any good. I could only suppress my anger and glare fiercely at Cui Taihao.
Zhao Lin stood between the two men, looking at one in fear, then the other, tears streaming down her
face. After a long while, I said, "Get out! I won't hit a woman." Cui Taihao hesitated again, but left at Zhao Lin's urging. Only after he disappeared did Zhao Lin release her hands that had been gripping my arm, squat down, cover her face, and cry.
My face was ashen as I sat back on the sofa and lit another cigarette.
After a while, Zhao Lin sat down next to me, looking at me uneasily. After a long silence, she asked cautiously, "Honey, why are you back?"
I slapped her, but not very hard, through gritted teeth, "How could you do this? You're pregnant, have you forgotten?"
Zhao Lin burst into tears again, crying for a while before saying, "The baby's gone..."
I was taken aback, staring at her coldly, and asked, "What happened?"
From Zhao Lin's account, I learned that she had only been pregnant a few days when she accidentally fell and miscarried. She had just returned to China and hadn't told me, afraid of my scolding.
This was a huge blow to Zhao Lin; she had always considered this child the guardian of our family, and now that guardian was dead in the womb, she felt heartbroken and lost.
"I don't know what happened tonight. He brought me back, and just as I was about to get out of the car, he called me back and kissed me. I..."
She choked back tears, saying, "I didn't refuse him. He kept kissing and touching me, and I don't know what came over me? I just... I just brought him up
here in a daze..." Zhao Lin cried as she spoke, "Husband, I... I'm so sorry..."
"Enough!" I roared, interrupting her and fixing my cold gaze on her. "I traveled tens of thousands of kilometers just to give you a surprise, but I never expected... Zhao Lin, how could you do this to me?"
Overwhelmed with shame, she lowered her head and wept silently. I stared at her for a moment and said, "When did this start?"
She wiped away her tears and slowly said, "Losing the child has broken my heart and filled me with guilt. Plus, I always thought you went to Morocco because of Li Meishan, and I always suspected your relationship with Xiao Ai… Originally, I thought this child was the greatest asset to hold your heart, but fate cruelly took our child away…"
"Seeing me so depressed, Cui Taihao tried everything to cheer me up. Today he took me to play golf with a group of friends, tomorrow he took me out to eat and sing karaoke with another group… Tonight, he arranged a card game for me, telling me to play freely, that if I won, it was on me, and if I lost, it was on him…"
"But I swear, he always respected me before, and we never crossed any lines, until… until tonight…"
Zhao Lin stopped there, and I coldly said, "Continue."
"I don't know why he suddenly got impulsive and started kissing me. At the time, I thought, this man has always loved and cherished me, so why not give him a little treat? Then he touched me, and I wanted to stop him, but... I couldn't control myself then..."
She looked at me with teary eyes, "Zhongyan, I never thought of being unfaithful to you before. I don't know what came over me tonight? Maybe I was bewitched? Zhongyan, I... I'm sorry..."
She started sobbing again. After a while, I said, "Tonight, was it really just the first time for you two?"
Zhao Lin stopped crying and said urgently, "It really was just the first time, it's never happened before, I swear..."
I sneered and said sarcastically, "I don't know if you were unlucky, or if I was too lucky to have caught you cheating on your first time, or if I had to come all the way from the other side of the world... I fucking flew halfway around the world to catch you in the act!"
She was even more ashamed and lowered her head without saying a word. Another silence fell. I asked, "Tell me honestly, do you love him? Do you love Cui Taihao?"
She hesitated, then sighed and said, "To say I wasn't moved by him at all would be a lie. Sometimes I think to myself, this man is so good in every way, he loves me so much, why should I hold on? But I still didn't want to do anything to betray you, until tonight..."
She broke down in tears, "Zhongyan, I still love you, but I'm so tired! Loving you is so tiring... Although I love you very much, I don't know how to love you? I feel that no matter how much I love you, your heart isn't with me, at least not entirely with me..."
She sobbed. After she cried for a while, I said, "Zhao Lin, you've always been building a barrier around yourself, trapping yourself inside." She stopped crying,
wiping away her tears, and said, "I know, but I just can't help thinking and doing this. Before, I thought you lacked ambition, and I insisted that you become the kind of man I wanted." "Now that you've tried your best, I'm afraid of losing you, afraid you won't love me anymore and will be taken away by another woman... I'm so tired..."
Zhao Lin sobbed a few more times, then said, "Since it's already happened, I have nothing to say. I'm sorry, you can do whatever you want."
I looked at her for a while before speaking, "I came back this time to accompany the client to discuss design and inspect projects. I'm very busy these days, so let's not see each other for now, and I won't be staying here. Tomorrow night I'll go to my parents' house alone to see my daughter, and I'll tell them you can't come because you're working overtime..."
I paused and said, "As for what will happen between us? I'll think about it in the next few days."
I saw her tears streaming down her face, but I couldn't soften my heart. I stood up and said, "That's it, I'll pack some things and leave."
I found the suitcase I used to use when I traveled for work in China, went to my and Zhao Lin's bedroom, opened the closet, and started packing my few clothes for this season into the suitcase.
Zhao Lin came in, looking at me with teary eyes, "It's so late, you should at least stay one more night before you leave." "If you don't want to sleep with me, you can sleep in another room!"
I sneered. "Do you think I'd still want to share a roof with you and face you every moment after witnessing you cheating on me with another man? I don't want to stay here a minute longer."
That night, I returned to my own house. Although no one had lived there for months, my mother often came to clean, so it was still quite clean.
I barely slept a wink that night, my mind racing. I thought that after spending months in such a faraway place, I had finally calmed down, figured out what I really wanted, and could finally break free from the barriers that my affair with Li Meishan had built for me, and truly start over with Zhao Lin. But I never expected it to end like this.
So, what should become of Zhao Lin and me? Should we pretend this never happened and continue our marriage? Or should I make her my ex-wife again?

16.
The next day, after seeing Aimani at the design institute, she asked why I looked listless and in a bad mood. I said it was nothing, just that I hadn't slept well. She asked again if something had happened. I said it was nothing serious, and I'd tell her another day.
Aimani said she'd wait, and that I must tell her if anything happened, anything at all. Even if she couldn't help me, she could at least share my burden emotionally.
I felt incredibly fortunate to have Aimani as a close female friend.
In the following days, besides being busy with work, I visited Zhao Lin's parents once to see my daughter, and on the weekend, I took her to my parents' house for a family reunion dinner with my parents, brother and sister-in-law, and nephew.
I didn't tell anyone in either family about that incident. Zhao Lin was her parents' darling daughter, and... My daughter-in-law is a source of pride for my parents, and they are also incredibly proud of her. How could I possibly ruin their image of Zhao Lin and make them worry about her and me?
That weekend morning, I picked up my daughter from Zhao Lin's parents' house. The father and daughter played outside for a while, had lunch, and then went to my parents' house in the afternoon. My brother, sister-in-law, and nephew also came. It had been a long time since our family had gathered like this, except for Zhao Lin.
When I picked up my daughter, Zhao Lin's parents asked why I hadn't seen her. My parents also asked why Zhao Lin wasn't there. I told them Zhao Lin was on a business trip. Fortunately, Zhao Lin is a lawyer, and being busy with work is common, so my parents, brother, and sister-in-law didn't think much of it.
However, my father-in-law complained to Zhao Lin, saying that her husband had finally come back from abroad, and she hadn't spent more time with him . My husband is away on a business trip on the weekend. I told him it's okay, she'll be back in a couple of days, and I'll be staying in Chengdu until National Day! We'll spend plenty of time together.
My father-in-law said that we both have our own careers, which is a good thing, but we shouldn't neglect our families because of our careers. He's always been very happy about my reconciliation with Zhao Lin, and he would be very upset if he knew that our marriage was in crisis again. Thinking about this, I felt terrible, but it was too late to be lenient.
That evening, after dinner, my daughter and I stayed at my parents' house. The next day, I spent the whole day with my daughter. After dinner, I took her back to my parents-in-law's, and then went to the hotel where Aimeni and three other people from the property management company were staying. During the day, Aimeni asked to meet me... She said she had something to tell me.
After I parked my car in the hotel parking lot, Amy came down a little while later. She was dressed casually in a tight short-sleeved t-shirt, ripped jeans, and casual sneakers—stylish and beautiful, her good figure on full display, and her exotic charm attracted a lot of attention.
I asked where the three men from the hotel were. Amy said they were out having fun, and it was a good opportunity for her to relax. I figured three grown men wouldn't invite Amy along, and as for the language barrier, the three of them spoke a little Chinese, and there was translation software available, so it shouldn't be a big problem.
I asked Amy where she wanted to go. She said she just wanted to walk around nearby. So I took her to the Funan River; the hotel was very close to the river, only a couple hundred meters away.
Walking along the Funan River, gazing at the skyscrapers and twinkling lights under the night sky, Amy exclaimed how beautiful Chengdu was, even more beautiful and prosperous than when she studied there. She added that the climate and lifestyle were incredibly pleasant, truly a city you wouldn't want to leave once you arrived.
Her words stirred a sense of pride in my hometown, a Chengdu native. I said there's an old Chinese saying—"Don't go to Sichuan when you're young, don't leave Sichuan when you're old." This "Sichuan" actually refers to Chengdu, the "Land of Abundance." It means don't come to Chengdu when you're young, because it's too comfortable and easy to become complacent; and don't leave Chengdu when you're old, because it's hard to find such a peaceful place again.
I added that a Western missionary once said that Chengdu is the place on earth most blessed by God. While this is an exaggeration, it does demonstrate Chengdu's unique charm.
Amy looked at me with those dreamy eyes typical of Arab beauties and smiled, "Can you stop bragging about your hometown and tell me about yourself?"
I smiled, "Didn't you have something to tell me?"
"Let me hear it first," she said, still smiling at me.
I told her about what Zhao Lin had done. If there was anyone in this world I could confide in about this shameful thing, it would only be Aimani.
Aimani was quite surprised and said, "My God! How could Zhao Lin do this? She's such a reserved, proud woman, and she loves you so much..."
I smiled bitterly and said, "I don't want to believe it either, but it's the truth."
Aimani asked me what I planned to do. I said I hadn't decided yet.
“Zhao Lin is a woman you both love and hate. She’s beautiful and outstanding, but also very scheming. She used methods like reporting me to Li Meishan’s mother and attempting suicide to force me to separate from Li Meishan, thus achieving her goal of remarrying me. This definitely made me keep a distance from her in my heart. She couldn’t stand my emotional distance, and later she suspected my relationship with you…”
I paused here, apologizing to Amy, “I’m sorry, I hope you don’t mind too much.”
Amy smiled, “It’s okay, actually I already saw it when she was in Morocco.”
I continued, “Speaking of which, Zhao Lin also has her own difficulties. Besides these emotional factors, she’s in her thirties, the age when a woman is most vulnerable to loneliness. Our separation has lasted for years, and she has such an outstanding and devoted man by her side. It’s a miracle she didn’t sleep with him early on…”
“But now that I’ve witnessed her with another man, how can I continue living with her without any resentment? Yet I’m unwilling to accept it. I spent months hiding away in such a faraway place to process this. Just when I finally decided to step out of that mental barrier and wholeheartedly commit to living with her, she… she cheated on me! Sigh!”
I sighed heavily. Amy looked at me and said softly, “Zhongyan, would you like to hear my opinion?”
I smiled at her, “Of course. Actually, besides you, I can’t find anyone else to confide in. Your opinion is very important to me.”
Amy looked across the Funan River and said, “Although in matters of marriage, you Chinese traditionally advise reconciliation rather than separation—isn’t there an old saying, ‘Better to tear down ten temples than to break up one marriage…’”
I thought to myself that she really understood Chinese customs and culture; she even knew these things. She shifted her gaze from the other side of the river to me. "But, between you and Zhao Lin, although you still love each other, it's too painful, especially for Zhao Lin. She's suffering so much from loving you. Rather than continuing like this, why not..."
She hesitated, then, under my questioning gaze, continued, "Zhongyan, we're best friends, confidants, that's why I said this. I hope you don't mind..."
Just then, my phone rang, and Ai Mai Ni stopped. It
was Cui Taihao calling. He asked where I was and wanted to meet me. I agreed, thinking to myself, "This guy dares to come see me?"
After the call, Ai Mai Ni asked who I was. I said it was the man who cheated on me, Zhao Lin's male confidant, my rival.
"Why don't you go back to the hotel first, or walk around the area. I'll come find you when I'm done," I said.
Ai Mai Ni disagreed; she wanted to wait for Cui Taihao with me, afraid we'd fight.
I laughed, "Have you forgotten that time in Rabat? I took on two of them and still had the upper hand. Don't worry, even if a fight breaks out, I won't lose."
"But I don't want you to beat them up either. Besides, I'm quite curious to see what kind of man likes Zhao Lin."
I said, "He's an exceptionally high-quality man, handsome, rich, and very romantic, like a star from a Korean drama. I'm afraid any woman would like him. Who knows, you might fall for him when you meet him."
Back then, the Korean wave swept through many parts of the world, and North Africa was no exception. Amy usually enjoyed watching Korean dramas. She playfully hit me and said, "What nonsense are you talking about?"
A little while later, Choi Tae-ho called to say he was at the hotel parking lot and asked where I was. I told him to come to the Funan River.
When Choi Tae-ho arrived, he was surprised to see Amy beside me. "And this is...?"
I told him that Amy was my colleague in Morocco and also my friend, and that he could speak freely.
"So what Zhao Lin said was true. You really do have someone over there, and you even brought her back to China. No wonder Zhao Lin was so heartbroken? Chen Zhongyan, you son of a bitch..."
"What the hell are you talking about? Ai Mai Ni is my colleague. She came back to China with me on business."
I thought this guy was here to apologize and sincerely talk about me and Zhao Lin, but he acted like he was accusing me, which made me instantly angry.
"Speak your mind, or get lost." I glared at Cui Taihao.
He sighed and said, "Hit me first. Hit me however you want. I won't fight back."
The scene from that night flashed before my eyes, and I clenched my fists. Seeing this, Ai Mai Ni patted my forearm, signaling me to calm down with her eyes, and then glanced at Cui Taihao.
"And then?" I asked coldly.
"Then, I need to talk to you."
"Talk first, then hit." Actually, I didn't really intend to hit him. I had already hit him that night, and there was no point in acting rashly again.
“Alright…” Cui Taihao nodded and said, “Old Chen, let’s both calm down. Don’t act impulsively, especially when it comes to feelings…”
“What exactly are you trying to say?” I said coldly.
He sighed again, “Don’t you think Zhao Lin is loving you too much, too painfully? Rather than continuing like this, why not… why not let go?”
He said the same thing as Ai Mai Ni just now. I thought to myself, did these two plan this tonight?

17.
“From now on, let me take care of her. I will treat her with all my heart, give her a better life, and make her happy. Old Chen, please grant us your wish.”
I guessed that this senior partner of a well-known law firm and the young master of a Korean chaebol family had never asked anyone for anything before, but now he was humbling himself in front of me for Zhao Lin.
I sneered, “Do you have the right to say such things? Do you deserve to say such things? You playboy.”
Cui Taihao glanced elsewhere and sighed, “I don’t deny that I have indeed had many women, and many of them are younger and prettier than Zhao Lin…”
He suddenly raised his voice, pointed at himself, and said, "But you know what? I've never loved before. This is the first time I've ever fallen in love. My biggest wish in this life is to love a woman I love and be with her."
He paused for a moment, then continued, "Even if there are three thousand rivers, I only drink from one. I've drunk from three thousand rivers because I haven't met this one yet, and Zhao Lin is that one in my life."
I looked at him, thinking to myself, this guy is really infatuated with Zhao Lin, if what he said is true.
“I love Zhao Lin, more than you. I can make her happy, but you can't. Being with you will only bring her pain. So I'm more deserving of her than you are.”
“Enough!” I roared, pointing at Cui Taihao. “Do you know what you're saying? Zhao Lin isn't divorced from me yet. She's still my wife. Are you trying to humiliate me?”
Cui Taihao also said excitedly, “It's precisely because you two aren't divorced that I've come to beg you, to ask you to grant me my wish, to grant me and Zhao Lin my wish. But I want you to understand, no matter what your attitude is today, I won't give up, I absolutely won't give up. I'm determined to have Zhao Lin.”
“You bastard, say that again!” I grabbed Cui Taihao's collar, clenching my fist.
“Stop!” A woman's voice rang in my ears.
Zhao Lin ran over and grabbed Cui Taihao's arm anxiously, saying, "I told you not to come looking for him, why did you still come? What if he hits you?"
Seeing Zhao Lin's worried expression, and thinking about it, I realized they might have been together before, maybe even these past few days, and I couldn't help but feel jealous.
Just then, Zhao Lin saw Aimani beside me and asked in surprise, "Aimani, why are you here?"
She looked at me again, her eyes full of suspicion. Aimani quickly explained, "Lin, don't misunderstand, I..."
I put my arm around Aimani's shoulder and smiled slightly, "Why can't she be here? She came back specifically to accompany me; we've been together these past few days."
Aimani was held tightly by me, looking embarrassed and uneasy, glancing at me and then at Zhao Lin.
"So you two were together all along! Not only in Morocco, but now you're in China together. You're inseparable! I've been feeling guilty and remorseful these past few days, and haven't even seen Taihao... Fine, fine, very good..." Zhao Lin nodded with a cold laugh.
Aimei panicked. "Lin, listen to me, it's not what you think..."
Zhao Lin didn't let her finish, turning to Cui Taihao and ordering him unequivocally, "Taihao, take me to your house now."
Cui Taihao glanced at me, then said to Zhao Lin with difficulty, "This...this, you and he aren't divorced yet, are you?"
Zhao Lin glared at him and said, "Cui Taihao, are you even a man? If you're not, then pretend I didn't say anything."
She turned and left.
"Don't you know whether I'm a man or not?" Cui Taihao chased after her, took Zhao Lin's hand, and glanced back at me provocatively as they walked.
At that moment, I felt my blood boil. My wife had cheated on me, and now she was going to live with her lover right in front of me.
Ignoring Aimani's attempts to stop me, I chased after Cui Taihao and patted him on the shoulder. As he turned around, I punched his handsome face, the face that had captivated countless women.
Cui Taihao staggered back a couple of steps, clutching his face but not retaliating. Zhao Lin gasped, yelling, "Why did you hit her?"
She grabbed my arm to prevent me from hitting her again. In my rage, I forcefully broke free from Zhao Lin, accidentally hitting her face in the process.
With Zhao Lin's scream, Cui Taihao flew into a rage, "You bastard, how dare you hit her..."
He punched me, and we started fighting, exchanging blows. Zhao Lin and Aimani cried out in alarm, "Stop fighting! Stop fighting..."
Seeing she couldn't stop them, Zhao Lin rushed to the riverbank and shouted, "If you keep fighting, I'll jump into the river, you believe me?"
Aimani quickly pulled her back, and the two grown men finally stopped.
Finally, Zhao Lin coldly said to me, "Let's get the divorce papers done in a few days when we have some free time."
I sneered, "No problem, I'm always ready."
Zhao Lin glared at Aimani again, then turned and left. Cui Taihao chased after her.
As soon as the two of them left, Aimani grabbed my arm with both hands and apologized urgently, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Zhongyan, I shouldn't have been here just now, maybe this wouldn't have happened."
I comforted her, "It's not your fault. After she came back from Morocco, her heart was gradually taken away by that man."
I asked Aimani what she wanted to talk to me about when she invited me over tonight. Aimani said, "Let's not. After tonight's events, how can I bring up my business with you?"
Under my insistence, she finally told me. Last night, she had a get-together with some close Chinese classmates from university. One of the female classmates, her best friend from university, gave Aimani that man's current phone number.
According to my female classmate, the older man is now a renowned scholar in China, an economics expert who enjoys a State Council stipend, and you can easily find a lot of information about him online. She also said that the older man still remembers his former student, Aimani, and had asked them about her at several class reunions and alumni gatherings. If Aimani contacts him, he will definitely meet her.
"Do you want to meet him?" I asked.
Amy shook her head, looking at the Funan River under the night sky. "I haven't decided yet. What difference does it make whether I see him or not? Whether I know the answer or never know it, what impact will it have on my future?"
"Why not see him? It's a rare opportunity. Haven't you always wanted to ask him why he loved you so much back then, swore he'd marry you, but suddenly left without a trace? It's time to untie this knot in your heart..."
I put my hands on Amy's shoulders, looking at her. "It doesn't mean anything, it doesn't signify anything. It just means you have the right to know the truth of what happened back then, and after knowing it, let it go with the wind, and step out of this barrier in your heart. What do you think?"
She looked at me, a relieved smile on her face, and said, "But I don't want to see him alone..."
"That's easy..." I smiled at her, "I'll go with you."
We smiled at each other. On this night by the Funan River, nearing the Mid-Autumn Festival, this beautiful Moroccan woman and I felt a connection, seeing each other as the most reliable people.
In the bedroom of Choi Tae-ho's mansion, a couple, having just made love, lay embracing and talking on the bed.
Choi Tae-ho's phone rang. Zhao Lin asked, "Who is it? It's not him, is it?"
Choi Tae-ho smiled and said, "Of course not, it's my older brother calling from Korea..."
He pressed the answer button and began speaking to the other person in Korean. Zhao Lin sighed softly, turning her back to him, tears silently streaming down her face.
Choi Tae-ho, while on the phone, glanced at the woman beside him, a satisfied smile on his face. He was intoxicated by finally being able to completely possess his goddess.
Suddenly, Zhao Lin began to sob. Choi Tae-ho quickly ended the call, pulled her into his arms from behind, and softly asked, "What's wrong? Baby..."
"It's nothing, I just..." Zhao Lin choked out, "I just... I didn't expect it to end like this, so suddenly..."
She sobbed uncontrollably. Cui Taihao held her tightly, kissing her neck and shoulders, "It's okay, I'm here! I'll make you forget him, forget all of this..."
Zhao Lin stopped crying and turned her head to ask, "Taihao, do you really love me?"
Cui Taihao gently turned her cheeks, his eyes overflowing with doting affection, "If I could silently protect you before, after tonight, I can't live without you. From now on, let me cherish you."
Zhao Lin smiled through her tears, and Cui Taihao lowered his head and kissed her lips.
The two were inseparable, and Cui Taihao became erect again, aiming at her wet entrance and thrusting in...

18.
After Zhao Lin and I divorced, we didn't hide it from our parents, but we also didn't explain the specific reasons for the divorce.
My mother complained, "What are you two doing? Divorcing and getting married, getting married and divorcing, what a mess!"
One day, Zhao Lin's parents called me to their home. Neither Zhao Lin nor Ni'er were there.
Zhao's father was heartbroken; of the four elders, he was the most affected by this.
He asked why we were divorcing. I said being together was too exhausting, so it was better to let go.
"Zhongyan, tell Dad the truth, is it because you're seeing someone else?"
I said no. The old man asked again, "Then Zhao Lin is seeing someone else, is that right?"
Zhao's mother chimed in, "Oh dear! Old man, are you crazy? Our Linlin has always been an excellent student, very reserved and self-respecting. How could she possibly have someone else? How can you talk about your own daughter like that?"
I told Zhao's father, "Dad, Zhao Lin isn't seeing anyone else."
Even then, I still defended Zhao Lin. Mr. Zhao sighed deeply. “Son, don’t try to hide it for her anymore. Do you think I don’t know anything? When you were in Morocco, your mother and I stayed with her one night, almost in the middle of the night. I saw a man driving a luxury car bring her back. He was in his thirties, and he looked like someone special. Another time…”
The old man paused, then continued, “She came here to pick up Ni’er, and I saw her and Ni’er get into that man’s car. I asked her about it, and she said that man was just a friend and told me not to overthink it… Now it seems that your divorce is mostly because of that man. Honest advice! I’m sorry, I didn’t raise our daughter well…”
I held back my tears and said, “Dad, don’t say that. That man was just Zhao Lin’s longtime suitor. Zhao Lin has never done anything to betray me. Our situation has nothing to do with anyone else.”
“Then how did things come to this?” Mr. Zhao asked, heartbroken.
I could only comfort him, "Don't ask about this anymore; it's hard to explain in a few words. But Dad, I can assure you that although Zhao Lin and I are divorced, as long as you and Mom are willing, I am still your child. You may have lost a son-in-law, but you've gained a son."
I said these words from the bottom of my heart. For more than ten years, this old man who treated me like his own son and I have been inseparable.
Hearing this, Zhao's father couldn't help but shed tears...
As the National Day holiday approached, the client's personnel finished negotiations, signed a new contract, and set off to return home.
Aimeni didn't go back with them because the North Africa office would also be on holiday during the National Day holiday. Although Aimeni is Moroccan, she is also an employee of the North Africa office, so she also enjoyed the holiday. She would return to Morocco with me after the National Day holiday. On
October 1st at noon, the old man invited Aimeni to lunch. When Aimeni contacted him before, he was lecturing in another city, so they arranged to meet today.
We met in a private room at the restaurant, and Aimeni introduced me to him as her boyfriend.
The older man, nearing fifty, still maintained a tall and upright figure, sharp yet refined, with a touch of gray at his temples, hinting at the wisdom and experience of time
. Coupled with his impeccable attire and elegant conversation, he was indeed a very charming and mature man; no wonder he had once captivated the naive young girl, Aimei. It was clear the older man's feelings were complex. On one hand, he was stunned by Aimei's beauty, which was even more striking than before. Now, Aimei possessed a mature charm that was incredibly alluring to men of any age. I suspect that at this moment, the older man was secretly pleased and reminiscing about having once possessed such a captivating beauty.
On the other hand, seeing that such a beautiful woman was no longer his, he inevitably felt a sense of loss and melancholy.
Furthermore, his barely concealed guilt towards Aimei was genuine, something I completely empathized with, as I had experienced almost the same thing.
As the saying goes, the eyes are the windows to the soul, and at that moment, I could easily read the old man's thoughts in his eyes.
Despite his complex emotions and surging feelings, the old man remained polite and well-mannered, displaying excellent manners. His conversation mainly consisted of inquiring about Aimani's situation after leaving China and recounting his own experiences over the years.
Aimani and I ate very little and spoke very little, mostly listening to the old man talk.
Seeing that the time was right, I excused myself to use the restroom and left the private room to smoke in the stairwell, giving Aimani and the old man some time and space.
When I returned to the private room, Aimani was gone. The old man was wiping the water stains from his face and collar with a tissue. He seemed a little embarrassed when he saw me, but quickly regained his composure, telling me that Aimani had left early and was waiting for me outside the restaurant.
Just as I was about to leave, the old man called me back. He took out a thick book and an exquisite little box, saying that the book was his new book, signed by him. Then he opened the box, revealing a valuable Longines ladies' watch inside.
“I didn’t have time just now, please make sure Mr. Chen gives this to Amy,” the older man said slowly.
I asked coldly, “Why did you abandon Amy without a word back then?”
The older man paused, then sighed, “Ask her yourself later.”
He paused again, then said, “Mr. Chen, you are very lucky. Please treat Amy well.”
I said calmly, “Actually, I wasn’t Amy’s boyfriend. She is an exceptionally outstanding woman, and I know I’m not good enough for her. And you, you’re not good enough for her either. Keep these things.”
I finished speaking and left the private room. When I arrived at the parking lot, Amy was indeed waiting for me there, her face still wet with tears.
We got into my car, and Amy told me everything that had happened while I was away from the private room.
Years ago, the older man’s wife had cancer. Under such circumstances, he found it difficult to file for divorce and accepted an invitation from an American university to become an exchange scholar there, taking his wife there for treatment. That was the reason he suddenly abandoned Amy back then.
But upon arriving in the United States, the older man learned that his wife did not have cancer; it was all a deliberate act by her to sever all ties with him and Amy. She had already discovered her husband's affair with a foreign female student. Now, the older man could only sigh helplessly. As
he recounted his story, tears streaming down his face, he repented for his past actions and begged Amy's forgiveness. Amy said nothing, but instead grabbed a glass of water and splashed it all over his face.
At that moment, Amy was in tears, sobbing as she said, "I have no more feelings for him, but I never imagined that my unforgettable first love would die because of a deception..."
I hugged Amy and gently stroked her back, silently comforting her.
"I... I feel so sorry for myself. I actually fell in love with such a coward. He didn't even have the courage to explain things to me back then..."
she said, crying uncontrollably in my arms. At that moment, I thought to myself, if possible, I would do my best to protect her and cherish her, so that she would never suffer any more injustice, whether it was the old man's deception or Hassan's slap...
Aimei finally stopped crying, wiped away her tears and smiled, "I feel much better now, this knot in my heart is untied, just like you said, let it go with the wind, I will never be bothered by this again."
I smiled and said, "That's good, in that case, shall I take you out for some fun?"
Aimei happily said, "Okay! I've been busy with work every day since I came back, I haven't really explored Chengdu yet, you must take me to see it properly."
Seeing her so happy, my mood, which had been low these days because of the divorce, also improved. "Okay, then today I'll take you to Taikoo Li first, then we'll go to Kuanzhai Alley, and have something good to eat tonight."
Aimei said she couldn't wait to eat Chengdu's Juntun Guokui, spicy rabbit head and cold pot skewers, and I said that today I would let her eat her fill, and started the car and drove out of the parking lot.
Amy asked me what "belly button swirling" meant. I said it was a Sichuan dialect term; your belly button has a concave indentation, right? It means it's bulging out, describing something that's very full.
"Get lost..." she said shyly, playfully hitting me with a giggle.
That day, Amy and I had a great time strolling the streets of Chengdu. I suddenly thought of Li Meishan, still studying at university in Beijing. She must be back in Chengdu for the holidays these days, right?
A wave of longing and melancholy washed over me. Little did I know that a few days later, Amy and I would unexpectedly run into Li Meishan.

(To be continued)

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An older man's confession: My love affair with a beautiful Arab woman (13-18)

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