An older man's confession: My story with a female high school student (19-23)

19.
Before nightfall, as the sun began to set and the sunlight less intense, we decided to go swimming in the sea.
Li Meishan changed into a bikini with a sun-protective jacket over it, while I changed into beach shorts and a t-shirt. I also put my phone in my waterproof waist bag before we went out together.
On the beach, we took off our t-shirts and sun-protective jackets, hand in hand, laughing and running towards the sea, plunging into its azure embrace.
We swam and played, having a wonderful time. Li Meishan's beautiful face and excellent figure attracted many admiring glances from nearby men, and I received a lot of envious and jealous looks.
I swam further out, changing my swimming style—sometimes freestyle, sometimes butterfly—splitting the waves, intentionally showing off my prowess to my lover.
"Uncle, you're amazing!" Li Meishan called out behind me.
I swam a short distance, turned around in the artificial water, and waved to her. She smiled and waved back.
I swam back, then suddenly dove into the water and didn't surface for a while. Li Meishan laughed, "Uncle, what are you doing?"
But I still didn't reappear, and she sensed something was wrong and became nervous. "Uncle, where are you? Come out quickly!"
"Uncle, don't scare me, Uncle..." After a while, she panicked, her voice trembling with tears.
I emerged from behind her, patted her shoulder, and as soon as she turned around, I sprayed a mouthful of seawater that I had previously put in my mouth onto her face.
"Uncle—"
Li Meishan cried out loudly with her eyes closed, then started hitting me with her small fists, "You naughty uncle, you bad uncle, you scared me to death..."
I hugged her tightly, laughed heartily, and then we kissed passionately in the sea.
During our time in Sanya, every day we either visited tourist attractions or swam in the sea. Every night, we were inseparable, making love to each other amidst the sound of the tides.
We wandered in the river of love we had built for each other, lingering there, reluctant to leave.
Joyful times always pass too quickly, and separation always comes sooner.
On October 7th, Li Meishan and I were both heading back home; I was going back to Chengdu, and she was going back to Beijing to continue her university life.
When I woke up in the morning, Li Meishan was still fast asleep in my arms. Her warm, soft body and her orchid-like fragrance made me wish time could stand still.
I couldn't bear to wake her, so I gently removed her arms from my embrace, got out of bed, and tiptoed into the bathroom.
While I was showering, Li Meishan came in and hugged me from behind, her delicate breasts pressed against my back.
"Why didn't you wake me?" she murmured, resting her head on my shoulder.
I turned around and kissed her. Despite being immersed in love every day, I was erect again.
She knelt down, took me into her mouth, and moved her head back and forth, swallowing and releasing rhythmically.
I tried to get her to get up, but she remained still, so I had no choice but to let her. A few minutes later, I ejaculated in her mouth.
Finally, Li Meishan stood up and vomited into the washbasin. This was the first time she had let me ejaculate in her mouth, and I was deeply moved. I hugged her from behind and looked at her reflection in the mirror, saying, "Shanshan, you didn't have to do this..."
She reached behind her and gently stroked my face, smiling at my reflection in the mirror, "I love you, I'd do anything for you..."
After returning the car at the rental shop, the staff drove us to the airport in the same car.
My flight was at 5 PM, and Li Meishan's flight was an hour and a half earlier.
We sat in the waiting hall, reluctant to part. Li Meishan held my arm with both hands, rested her head on my shoulder, and leaned against me, repeatedly telling me to think of her and not to see other women...
"Uncle, will you love me forever?" She looked up at me, tears welling in her eyes.
I looked at her and nodded, "Yes, I will..."
"If you don't love me anymore, if you don't want me anymore, then I will never love anyone else in this life, and I will never marry anyone. I will live my life with my love for you, and the beautiful memories we shared."
"Silly girl..." I wiped away the tears welling in her eyes, my heart filled with tenderness.
Amidst our reluctance to part, the moment of separation finally arrived.
Outside the security gate, Li Meishan's tears flowed again and again, she hugged me tightly, and only after my urging did she drag her suitcase towards the security gate.
Before entering, she turned back to look at me, tears streaming down her face. At that moment, I also shed tears...
That evening, when I returned home, I saw Zhao Lin waiting for me. I hadn't changed the door code.
"What are you doing here?" I was greatly surprised and didn't understand why she had suddenly come to my house.
Zhao Lin asked me where I had been these past few days. I said I went to Sanya with a friend.
"You went with that girl, didn't you?" Zhao Lin asked with a cold smile.
I decided not to hide it from her, and there was nothing to hide anyway. Meeting her gaze, I said in a deep voice, "Yes."
She nodded without speaking, looking away. Suddenly, she shouted at me, "Chen Zhongyan, you're being ridiculous! You're having an affair with such a young girl! Do you know what you're doing?"
"I know exactly what I'm doing. What are you trying to say?"
"You two will only get deeper and deeper into this..." Zhao Lin yelled at me again.
I sneered, "We're already deeply entangled, hopelessly stuck. Are you satisfied now?"
"You...you..." She pointed at me, speechless for a moment, before finally saying, "I'm asking you, are you and that girl serious?"
"If at the beginning I just wanted to play around with her, now I'm serious."
"That's irresponsible of you, irresponsible to that girl, irresponsible to yourself. Have you thought about it? You're almost twenty years apart; you and that girl could be father and daughter..."
“I’ve thought about all of this, and my affairs are none of your business, so why are you making accusations here?”
Zhao Lin pointed to her chest. “None of my business? You’re still my ex-husband, the father of our daughter. I can’t just stand by and watch you play with fire, even finding a stepmother for Ni’er who’s only nine years older than her.”
I didn’t want to pay any attention to her. I sat down, lit a cigarette, and said coldly, “Are you done? If you’re done, please leave. I want to rest.”
She sat down next to me and said urgently, “Zhongyan, I don’t want to argue with you. I just want you to calm down. Think about it carefully. You’re so much older than her… Yes, you’re thirty-seven now, and in two or three years you’ll still be a man in his prime at forty. You two are very harmonious and happy now, but what about when you’re old? She’ll still be young. Will you still be as harmonious and loving as you are today?”
Her words made me a little upset. I had thought about these questions before, but I was too immersed in love with Li Meishan to think about them.
“Zhao Lin…” I said gently, after all, this woman still loved me, even though her methods towards me were somewhat extreme. “I thank you for your kindness, and I know you’ve always been good to me, but there’s no possibility between us.”
She stared at me blankly and said, “Why?”
I didn’t speak, burying my head in my cigarette. Suddenly, she grabbed my arms with both hands. “Zhongyan, is it because of Cui Taihao? Let me tell you, there’s nothing between us, we’re just friends, at most confidants…”
I interrupted her, "This has nothing to do with Cui Taihao. Once you've seen the ocean, you can't be satisfied with a river. We can't go back to the past, don't you understand? Why waste your time on me?"
"It's not like that… If I'm willing, if we're willing, we can go back to the past. Nothing is impossible."
"But I'm not willing!"
I shouted, staring at her. After a moment of silence, I said, "I'm really tired. Go."
Zhao Lin stared at me blankly, tears streaming down her delicate, beautiful face.
After a long while, she wiped away her tears, stood up, and said, "Chen Zhongyan, I won't let you succeed. I will stop you."
She left without looking back. I smoked, pondering her words, wondering what this woman was up to.
Since that unpleasant night with Zhao Lin, I'd had a bad feeling, a feeling that made me uneasy. I didn't know what would happen, how Zhao Lin would stop me and Li Meishan.
Time passed uneasily. Li Meishan and I continued our daily WeChat conversations, but a growing unease settled in my heart.
My premonition finally came true. One day in mid-November, my mother called me home immediately, saying she had something to tell me. I didn't know what was going on, but I did as she asked.
Upon arriving at my parents' house, I saw a very beautiful middle-aged woman sitting in the living room besides my parents. She was not only beautiful, but also had a great figure and elegant demeanor; her clothes were sophisticated, clearly indicating a successful career woman or a wealthy woman.
My father remained silent, while my mother said to me, "Zhongyan, she's Meishan's mother." I was stunned

.
I hadn't expected Li Meishan's mother, a woman I had never met before, to suddenly appear in my parents' house.
I didn't know how she had found my parents' house, but one thing was certain: she was there for Li Meishan and me.
"Mr. Chen, my surname is Su, and I am Li Meishan's mother," Li Meishan's mother said. Although she appeared polite and courteous, it was clear that she was not there with good intentions.
She was over forty, and time had left its mark on her delicate and beautiful face, making her look exceptionally charming. Her figure was still curvaceous, and she exuded a mature allure. I thought to myself, "Like mother, like daughter," Li Meishan's beauty was indeed inherited from her mother.
"Oh, hello," I replied, pondering what she might say next.
"Mr. Chen, could we speak privately for a moment? Let's go outside and not disturb the two elders."
I nodded, glancing at my parents; their expressions were both quite unpleasant.
As Li Meishan's mother left, she said to my parents, "Uncle, Aunt, I'm sorry to have bothered you."
The last time Li Meishan visited, she addressed my parents as "Uncle" and "Aunt," and now her mother was doing the same. I felt utterly ashamed. But she was only in her forties, my father was almost seventy, and my mother was well into her sixties; her calling my parents "Uncle" and "Aunt" was perfectly appropriate.
My father remained silent. My mother's face turned pale and then flushed, looking very embarrassed. She chuckled awkwardly, "No...it's nothing, take care."
When we got downstairs, I said, "Auntie..."
Li Meishan's mother interrupted me, "Mr. Chen, please don't call me that. I'm only four years older than you, I can't accept that..."
Her words made me extremely embarrassed. She continued, her tone undeniably sarcastic, "You saw it yourself just now, I called your parents 'Uncle' and 'Auntie,' and now you're calling me 'Auntie,' don't you think it's a bit confusing?"
I felt utterly ashamed again. Li Meishan's mother pointed to a public bench and said, "Let's sit down and talk?"
I sat down with her, but she intentionally kept a distance between us, enough for one more person to sit in. She looked me over for a moment and said, "You are indeed a handsome and stylish uncle, it's no wonder you attract young girls..."
"Sister Su, please just say what you want to say?" I said.
Li Meishan's mother paused for a moment, then suddenly said very rudely, "Mr. Chen, you are shameless! You actually stayed in Sanya with my daughter for so many days. Before National Day, I thought she was going to come back here to be with her grandparents, but I didn't expect her to use the excuse of going on a trip with her college classmates to run off to Sanya with you..."
I knew what was coming was bound to happen, so I listened silently.
"You are so much older than my daughter, divorced, and have a nine-year-old daughter, yet you hooked up with my daughter and did *that* with her many times. She's only eighteen!"
Li Meishan's mother's voice trembled with anger. "You have a daughter of your own, how could you do this?"
I said slowly, "Ms. Su, can you tell me how you found out about these things? And how did you find my parents' house?"
"You've done such a shameful thing, are you afraid others will know?" Li Meishan's mother said angrily. "As for my coming to your parents' house, it was somewhat presumptuous and abrupt, but as the mother of an innocent girl, I had no choice. I have to let your parents know what their good son has done."
Her eyes were filled with tears. I could only say, "Alright! I'm not accusing you, but I hope you understand that my feelings for Meishan are genuine. We are in love, and in the future... I will marry her."
"Ha, ha, ha..." Li Meishan's mother sneered repeatedly, "You'll marry her? What will you offer her? As far as I know, you work at the power design institute under the China XX Engineering Group. It's a good company, but you're almost forty and have nothing. What will you offer to marry my daughter? Besides, how old are you compared to my daughter? How dare you say such things?"
I patiently explained, "Ms. Su, please don't say that. I truly love Meishan..."
"Enough! Stop talking!" Li Meishan's mother interrupted me.
After a long pause, she said, "In short, I will never allow my daughter to be with a man like you."
At that moment, a small ball rolled to our feet. Li Meishan's mother bent down to pick it up, and with this movement, her blouse revealed a glimpse of her breasts—round, large, white, and with a deep cleavage. Such a stunning mature woman would be the dream hookup of many men, but at this moment, I had no time for such thoughts. Besides, she was the mother of the girl I loved.
Li Meishan's mother gently smiled at a two- or three-year-old toddler running towards her and said, "Little brother, is this yours?" The
toddler nodded and said in a soft voice, "Yes, it's mine."
"Good boy, can Auntie give you a hug?" Li Meishan's mother said, hugging the toddler.
A young couple walked over, and the woman smiled, "Sweetie, say thank you to Auntie!"
The toddler did so, and the woman added, "Say goodbye to Uncle and Auntie, we're leaving!"
Watching the family of three walk away, Li Meishan's mother said, "See? Maybe in their eyes, you and I are a couple, maybe they even think we're a good match..."
Her tone suddenly turned stern, "But don't be so smug. You, the man who is a good match for me in other people's eyes, are thinking of marrying my daughter and becoming my son-in-law. Mr. Chen, don't you think you're being ridiculous and shameless?"
"Ms. Su, you have no right to say that to me..." I felt I couldn't let her continue being so harsh.
"Don't I have the right?" She pointed to her chest and sneered, "When you, a man nearing forty, slept with my eighteen-year-old daughter, when you took her on a romantic getaway to Sanya, you already gave me that right."
Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. I could only patiently continue, "I truly love Meishan. I promise you, and I've already sworn to myself, that I will work hard and make Meishan happy, giving her a good life. I will wait for her, until she graduates from university, and if she wants to pursue a master's degree, I will wait for her too, until she enters the workforce and has a stable job, before we marry..."
Li Meishan's mother interrupted me again, "Was I just talking to a brick wall? How come you don't understand after all I've said, Mr. Chen..."
She paused, then continued, "Let's not talk about anything else, just the age gap between you two. Although you are young and strong now, what about the future? When you're in your fifties, a little old man, she'll only be in her thirties; when you're sixty, a decrepit old man, she'll only be in her early forties. Will you still think you two are a good match then? Harmonious? Even when you're too old to walk, will she have to take care of you? Can you really bear to see her like that?"
Every word she said was true, and I was speechless. Her voice continued to echo in my ears.
“Shanshan’s father passed away early; he was the only son in the family. Shanshan’s grandparents have nothing left; their only hope and support is this granddaughter…”
Her words reminded me of the night Zhang Mi and I took Li Meishan home. Those two elderly people, both over seventy, one carrying Li Meishan on her back, the other supporting her, walking into the building in the darkness—that heartbreaking scene will never be forgotten.
“Can you bear to let two elderly people in their seventies watch their beautiful, academically excellent granddaughter marry a divorced old man with a child?”
I fell into deep thought. Seeing my silence, Li Meishan’s mother continued, “Mr. Chen, please let go. As a mother, I beg you to let Shanshan go, and please don’t hurt these two innocent elderly people, okay?”
I remained silent. She continued, "To tell you the truth, no matter what, I will do everything in my power to stop you from being with Shanshan. After I return to Beijing, I will have a serious talk with her, and if necessary, I will take drastic measures to prevent her from being with you. Furthermore, if you insist on going your own way, I will expose you at your workplace. I will make sure everyone there knows that you, this beast in human clothing, seduced an innocent young girl, and even slept with my daughter before she was eighteen. I will ruin your reputation."
Li Meishan's mother spoke through gritted teeth. After saying this, she stood up and said, "Think about it carefully!"
I went back upstairs; my father was sulking in his room, and my mother was pulling me aside, sighing deeply.
"Seriously! You have no idea how embarrassed your dad and I were today when we faced that woman..."
My mom said, sounding quite distressed. "Her mother really put it that way, we were speechless. Your dad and I weren't too keen on you having such a young girlfriend before, but you insisted on being with her, and she was indeed adorable, so we let you two have your way. But we never expected..."
My mom paused, "We never expected her mother to object so vehemently, calling us 'uncle' and 'auntie' all the time. It made your dad and me feel so ashamed. If we had known it would be like this, we shouldn't have..." " I promised you, and I shouldn't have let you bring that girl home for dinner. It makes us look like we're condoning you ruining someone else's innocent daughter. If word gets out, where will we put our faces?"
I felt bad and said, "Mom, I'm sorry for putting you and Dad in this difficult position."
My mother waved her hand and sighed, "What are your plans for this?"
I was silent for a moment and said, "As long as Meishan doesn't give up, I won't give up."
My mother said earnestly, "Son! Although I feel bad for that girl, since her mother has this attitude, why don't you just go with the flow and let it go?"

21.
The next day, I contacted Zhao Lin. I thought that she must be involved in what happened. Zhao Lin said she was busy during the day and asked me to come to her house to talk that evening.
That afternoon, I was drawing at work when the security guard at the gate said that two elderly people were looking for me. I guessed that they were probably Li Meishan's grandparents.
I thought to myself, "Yesterday her mother came to my parents' house to confront me, and today her grandparents came to my workplace. This family moves fast enough."
With a heavy heart, I arrived at the gate, and sure enough, I saw Li Meishan's grandparents waiting for me there. Although I had only seen them briefly from the car that night, I still remembered them.
Li Meishan's grandfather asked, "Are you Chen Zhongyan?"
I nodded and said, "Yes, it's me..."
Before I could finish speaking, the old man slapped me across the face, cursing, "You shameless bastard..."
Li Meishan's grandmother quickly grabbed her husband, signaling him not to get agitated, firstly because he shouldn't hit people, and secondly because this incident would negatively impact their granddaughter.
The security guard saw this and said to me, "Mr. Chen, what's wrong?"
I told him it was nothing, I knew them.我对李美姗爷爷说道：“爷爷……”
话刚一出口，就被老爷子打断了，“当不起，我没你这么大的孙子。”
我说道：“老爷子，我们去那边说……”
李美姗爷爷气呼呼地说道：“你干了丑事怕被人听到啊？”
李美姗奶奶又拽老伴，“别在这儿说，多丢人啊！”
我们三个走到了一边，李美姗爷爷又要揍我，被老伴拽住了。
“小伙子，你说你干的这是人事吗？我孙女她……她才十八岁啊！”李美姗奶奶说着哭了起来。
我羞愧难当，低头说道：“对不起，两位老人家，是我不好。可是，请你们相信，我是真的爱美姗……”
“你个混账王八蛋，你这么大年纪了离过婚有孩子，凭什么爱我孙女？”李美姗爷爷骂道，气得喘了起来，喘得还挺厉害的，我深怕他一口气上不来，给背过去了。
Grandma Li Meishan, while patting her husband's back, said to me with tears in her eyes, "Young man, my son died young, and my husband's health isn't good either. We only have this one granddaughter left. Please, have mercy on Shanshan, please let our family go?"
Grandpa Li Meishan recovered and pointed at me, panting, "You...you...tell me, can you break off with Shanshan?"
Grandma Li Meishan looked at me with tears in her eyes, her gaze full of sorrow and pleading. At that moment, what could I say?
I could only nod to the two old people. Grandpa Li Meishan put one hand on his chest and pointed at me with the other, saying, "Remember what you said today. If you dare to go back on your word, I...I, this old man, will fight you to the death. I..."
He grabbed his wife's hand again, "I...we, this old man, will trade our lives for yours, do you believe me?"
"Old man, don't say anymore, the child has agreed, let's go!" Grandma Li Meishan said, helping her husband away.
Watching the two elderly people, both in their seventies, faltering, I felt no anger at their words and actions towards me; instead, I felt a pang of sorrow.
That evening, I arrived at Zhao Lin's house. She seemed to have just taken a bath, wearing a short red silk bathrobe that revealed her beautiful legs. Through the slit in the robe, her breasts were partially concealed, and her underwear was also partially exposed.
"Zhongyan, have a drink. This wine is good, an '82 Lafite, a gift from a client,"
Zhao Lin said, pouring two glasses of red wine and handing one to me, her eyes filled with tenderness.
I wasn't there to drink '82 Lafite, nor to admire her figure, so I bluntly addressed her.
Zhao Lin placed the glass of wine she had handed me on the bar, took a sip herself, and confessed that she had indeed used her connections to get Li Meishan's mother's number and told her everything about my past with Li Meishan, which led to what happened later.
I suppressed my anger and asked Zhao Lin why she did this. She calmly retorted, "Zhongyan, weren't her mother and grandparents strongly opposed to your relationship? If I hadn't tattled on her, how long were you planning to keep it from that girl's family? The truth will eventually come out, don't you understand? If things get out of control, you'll only be worse off than you are today."
What she said made perfect sense, and I was speechless. She placed her hand on my shoulder and said softly, "Zhongyan, you two are nineteen years apart. You're divorced and have a daughter. This relationship between you and that girl has no future. Why not turn back?"
I looked away from her cleavage, removed her hand from my shoulder, and looked elsewhere, saying coldly, "I thought about it all night, barely sleeping. I think I can wrong anyone, but the one person I can't wrong, the one I can't let down, is Li Meishan..."
I turned to look at Zhao Lin, and under her tearful gaze, said, "As long as she doesn't give up, I will never give up."
Tears streamed down Zhao Lin's face. "You...you love that girl that much?"
I met her gaze. "Yes, I love her. I will never love anyone else in this life." "
She said through tears, 'And what about me? Do I hold absolutely no place in your heart?'
I sighed and looked away. 'I admit, before I met her, I still had a lot of hope about getting back together with you. But things are different now. I don't want anyone but her.'
Zhao Lin faced me, her beautiful breasts, half-hidden by the opening of her bathrobe, were once again in front of me. She placed her hands on my shoulders and looked at me, saying, 'But the obstacles between you and her are so great, it's destined that you two can't be together. But it's different between you and me. I still love you, you still have feelings for me, we have a daughter, we are the most suitable couple for each other, so why are you so stubborn?'
I removed her hands and sneered. " I said, "Save your breath, Zhao Lin. All you feel for me is a desire to control and possess. You've been meticulously trying to mold me into the man you want—that's your so-called love."
Zhao Lin was stunned, tears welling up again. "Is this how you understand my feelings? Fine, even if that's what you say, isn't it all for your own good? What's wrong with making you the kind of man I want?"
I sneered repeatedly. "Zhao Lin, you're so self-righteous. All along, you've wanted your daughter to become the person you want her to be, you've wanted me to become the man you want me to be, you've wanted this and that, but have you ever asked us? Have you asked if Ni'er is happy? Do you even understand what kind of person I want to be and what kind of life I want to live?"
Tears streamed down her face as she placed her hand on her cleavage. "Was I wrong? You are the people I love most. Was I really wrong to do this for you? Chen Zhongyan, you are so ungrateful." I
sneered again. "Forget it, you'll never understand. You don't need to bother at all. Isn't there a ready-made man for you? That rich Korean scion named Choi Tae-ho is waiting for you to come to him!"
Zhao Lin slapped me across the face, tears welling in her eyes as she shouted, "You bastard!"
I touched the side of my cheek where I had been slapped and continued, "As for Li Meishan and me, even if we can't be together for various reasons, it's impossible between you and me, it will never be possible."
I finished speaking and turned to leave. She came over and hugged me, tears streaming down her face as she murmured, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Zhongyan, I shouldn't have hit you. I take back everything I said. I won't force you to do anything you don't want to do anymore. As long as you come back to me, you can do whatever you want. I'll never interfere again, okay? Zhongyan, I love you, and you love me too, right? You were just bewitched by that girl's youth and beauty, lusting after her body. It's okay, I don't care. Come back when you're done playing around, okay?"
I pushed her away and turned to leave. Zhao Lin called out "Zhongyan," caught up with me from behind, and hugged me tightly, crying and begging me not to leave her. I felt she was being too impulsive tonight. I pried her hands off and turned around, only to find that her short bathrobe was gone. Her mature and beautiful naked body was completely exposed to me, her breasts proudly erect before me, and the base of her triangle covered in lush pubic hair.
She hugged my neck and kissed me, repeatedly saying, "Husband, I love you! Don't leave me, okay? I really love you so much..."
She kissed and spoke while taking off my clothes. I pushed her away and shouted, "Enough! Are you crazy?"
She was still crying, staring blankly at me. I turned around again, and she called out to me, "Chen Zhongyan..."
I stopped, but didn't turn around. I only heard her say behind me, "I, Zhao Lin, was once a proud woman. Just now, I trampled all a woman's dignity under your feet, and you still treat me so heartlessly. Fine, go. I swear, as long as you leave this house today, I guarantee you'll never have peace of mind for the rest of your life."
At that moment, I didn't think much and left without looking back, hearing her sobbing uncontrollably behind me.

22.
The next day, Li Meishan contacted me, saying that her mother had told her everything. She asked me what I thought.
I said the same thing: as long as she doesn't give up, I won't give up either.
“Okay, Uncle…” Li Meishan choked up on the other end of the phone, “No matter what, I will be with you, no one can separate us…”
Although I made vows of eternal love with her, I wasn’t sure in my heart. It wasn’t that I lacked confidence in my feelings, but I had a vague feeling that I might not be able to control the situation.
A few days later, news came that Zhao Lin had committed suicide. It was already evening when I arrived at the hospital, and Zhao Lin was still being resuscitated.
Outside the emergency room, Zhao Lin’s parents, younger brother, and another person were there as well, Cui Taihao.
As soon as Cui Taihao saw me, he punched me. With Zhao Lin’s father and younger brother pulling him away, he pointed at me and cursed viciously, “You bastard, what did you do to her? What did you do to her that she did this?”
A nurse came over and reprimanded us, and Cui Taihao stopped. Zhao Lin’s mother was crying uncontrollably. I asked Zhao Lin’s father, “Dad, what happened?”
Although I had been divorced from Zhao Lin for many years, my parents were still my daughter’s maternal grandparents and were still taking care of her for me, so I still called them Mom and Dad.
"Sigh!" Zhao's father sighed deeply, remaining silent.
Zhao's mother wept beside him, saying, "Chen Zhongyan, you're so heartless! If anything happens to Linlin, I'll fight you to the death!"
I called out "Mom," but didn't know what to say. Zhao's father frowned, heartbroken. "Zhongyan, what happened to you two? Why did she want to take her own life?"
"Dad, I..." I hesitated, truly regretting my underestimation of Zhao Lin's emotions and her words that night.
The story was this: tonight, Zhao Lin suddenly called Cui Taihao, saying she was in great pain. When Cui Taihao asked where she was, she wouldn't say. After crying for a while, she said she was alright and told Cui Taihao not to worry, then hung up.
Cui Taihao was worried and rushed to Zhao Lin's house, finding her lying unconscious on the bed with a bottle of sleeping pills on the bedside table. Cui Taihao immediately dialed 120, and then found Zhao Lin's suicide note, realizing she had been tormented by love and had chosen to end her life.
I was completely lost and didn't know what to do. Then I heard Zhao's father's voice in my ear, "Zhongyan, you two have been divorced for years, why are you still entangled with each other? Why are you still bothering my daughter?"
I was truly at a loss for words. My former father-in-law was a retired middle school teacher, a very understanding man. When Zhao Lin and I were married, he admired my talent and character, and we got along very well. He never spoke a harsh word to me. He even often advised Zhao Lin that I was a man and shouldn't be so demanding of her, but rather more understanding of her husband.
Now, hearing his reproachful words, I felt deeply ashamed. What father doesn't love his daughter? Especially since Zhao Lin had always been his pride and joy.
Fortunately, Zhao Lin survived after emergency treatment. Zhao's parents thanked Cui Taihao repeatedly.
That night, Zhao's parents stayed at the hospital with Zhao Lin, while Cui Taihao, Zhao Lin's brother, and I left the hospital separately.
As I was driving, my mother called, asking how Zhao Lin was. She was also very worried. I asked my mother how she knew about this. My mother said that Zhao's mother had called her that evening, saying that Zhao Lin had an accident and was in the hospital, asking her to come and look after my daughter. She was still at Zhao Lin's parents' house.
I briefly explained the situation to my mother, and she said, "What kind of mess have you made? You've probably wronged both women, and you almost caused a death."
She continued, "Why don't you stick with Zhao Lin? Although she used to be a bit harsh and not very affectionate towards me and your father, the fact that she was willing to commit suicide for you shows she truly loved you, and she's also Ni'er's biological mother… As for that other girl, her family is so against it, and she's nineteen years younger than you. You two are really not suitable. If you wrong her, then you'll only have yourself to wrong. You can only choose one; fate has decreed that you must wrong at least one woman in your life, and there's nothing you can do about it."
Listening to my mother's words, I was in turmoil. If Zhao Lin really died, my daughter would have no mother, and I would become the indirect murderer of my daughter's mother. But what about Li Meishan? She loved me so much; how could I bear to betray her?
That night, I couldn't sleep again, not a wink in my eyes, my mind filled with thoughts of Zhao Lin and Li Meishan.
The following afternoon, in Zhao Lin's hospital room, just the two of us, she cried and begged me to come back to her, saying that even for her daughter's sake, we should be together.
At that moment, my mind was still in turmoil; everything that had happened these past few days flashed through my mind. The words Li Meishan's mother had spoken, Li Meishan's grandfather's slap, Li Meishan's grandmother's pleas, Zhao Lin's suicide attempt, Cui Taihao's fist, my mother's words—all of them made me feel weak and helpless like never before.
But I clearly saw Li Meishan standing in a corner watching me, her pitiful appearance tearing at my heart.
"Zhongyan, can you come closer to me?" Zhao Lin's words pulled me back from my turmoil.
I looked up at her; she patted the edge of the bed, and I sat down.
She sat up straight, wrapped her arms around my neck, and said through tears, "I love you. I've never loved anyone like this before. Without you, my life has no meaning. What's the point of living?"
She continued to stare at me, tears streaming down her face. "I can do that once, and I can do it again..."
I knew she was threatening me with her life, and I knew that, given her personality, she was perfectly capable of doing it. But I also understood that it all stemmed from her love for me, even if her love was excessive.
I was speechless, and could only hold her in my arms. She hugged my neck tightly, sobbing uncontrollably. I also shed tears, but I knew that most of my tears were for Li Meishan.
What we didn't know was that Cui Taihao was standing at the door, holding a bouquet of flowers, silently watching us.
He watched for a while, placed the flowers by the door, and then left dejectedly.
In the days that followed, I intentionally reduced my contact with Li Meishan. Sometimes when she contacted me, I would tell her that I was very busy with work and didn't have much time to chat with her.
Li Meishan probably realized something and reduced her contact with me as well. I planned to let things cool down for a while before confronting her.
One afternoon in early December that year, a weekend, I was at home working on a design when Zhao Lin came over to help me tidy up the house and buy some household items. My daughter, Ni'er, was also there.
Since her discharge from the hospital, she had been coming to take care of me every few days, and I could only let her be. But I didn't sleep with her, and she never mentioned it.
Zhao Lin had planned to cook dinner, and the three of us would have dinner together, when one of her close friends called, inviting her to get together and asking her to bring her child.
Shortly after the mother and daughter left, I received a call from Li Meishan. She asked if I was wavering because I had been distant from her lately
. Despite my immense reluctance and heartache, I decided to take this opportunity to confront her.
I told Li Meishan all the reasons: the immense pressure from our age difference, the strong opposition from her family, my ex-wife's near suicide attempt, and so on. As I said these things, I really wanted to slap myself.
Finally, she choked back tears, "So, to please everyone—my mother, my grandparents, your ex-wife—you're willing to sacrifice me?"
I said, "I have no choice. Your mother went to my parents' house, your grandfather slapped me across the face, and my ex-wife even tried to commit suicide because of it. What am I supposed to do?"
Li Meishan cried, "This is the first time I've ever loved a man. I gave you everything, I did everything for you. Have you forgotten what I did to you with my mouth that day in Sanya? And this is how you treat me?"
Hearing her heartbroken words, I truly felt like dying.
"Uncle..." Li Meishan stopped crying, "Your choice isn't wrong, and neither am I. But you made one mistake..."
"What?" I couldn't help but ask.
"You shouldn't have gotten involved with me in the first place..." she said, sobbing uncontrollably.
I felt as if a thousand arrows were piercing my heart. Her voice continued in my ears, "I won't bother you anymore, let's end it here! But could you come downstairs? I have something to return to you..." A
jolt went through me. I went to the window and looked down. I saw Li Meishan standing below, holding her phone to her ear, looking up at me. I froze. I had assumed she was in Beijing, but she was downstairs talking to me. My apartment was on the fourth floor. I clearly saw tears streaming down her face, her expression one of sorrow and grief I will never forget. In the years that followed, every time I thought of it, my heart ached. Li Meishan raised her left hand, holding the crystal necklace with the heart-shaped jade pendant I had given her. Tears streaming down her face, she said to me upstairs, "This is what you gave me, I'm returning it to you." She hung the necklace on a tree branch, glanced at me one last time—a glance filled with endless resentment and heartbreak—and then ran away. I called her name into the phone, but she had already hung up. I rushed downstairs, searching everywhere for her, but to no avail. That day, Li Meishan's phone remained switched off until evening, and messages sent to her on WeChat went unanswered. I was very worried about her, and in desperation, I had to ask Zhang Mi for help. I told Zhang Mi everything and asked her to check on Li Meishan for me. That evening, Zhang Mi called, saying that although Li Meishan was in great pain, her emotions were relatively stable, and she was preparing to return to Beijing the next day. Zhang Mi also told me that Li Meishan had felt deeply uneasy about my estrangement and coldness these past few days, and yesterday she flew back to Chengdu, intending to talk to me. Just as she arrived downstairs at my apartment building, she saw Zhao Lin and my daughter come out of the building, get into a car, and drive away. This scene made her think that Zhao Lin and I had gotten back together, so instead of coming upstairs to find me, she called me.

"Shanshan has been crying. She really loves you, but she also hates you so much..."
Zhang Mi said on the phone, calling me a scumbag and telling me never to appear in front of Li Meishan again.
The next evening, I asked Zhao Lin for Li Meishan's mother's number and called her. I learned that Li Meishan had already returned to Beijing.
"The young girl will definitely suffer for a while, but a short pain is better than a long one. Time will solve everything..."
Li Meishan's mother said on the phone. "Mr. Chen, although I will never forgive you, I still want to thank you for your understanding..."
I smiled bitterly and said, "Actually, I don't know if what I did, what you all did, how we all pressured her, was good or bad for her?"
The elegant and beautiful mature woman on the other end of the phone said coldly, "In any case, it's much better than being with a good-for-nothing old man like you with a child."
She hung up the phone, leaving me alone with a heavy heart.
I remarried Zhao Lin and, at her request, moved into her big house. Now that we're husband and wife again, it's impossible to continue living separately. Her place is much better than mine, and I have no reason to let her move in.
The night we got our marriage certificate, Zhao Lin was showering in the bathroom, while I sat alone on the sofa in the living room, lost in thought, filled with self-reproach and guilt.
Zhao Lin came out, wearing only a towel, revealing her beautiful shoulders and collarbones, and her two lovely legs were also on full display.
She sat down beside me, opened the bottle of 1982 Lafite, poured it into two wine glasses, handed me one, and picked up another for herself, smiling at me, "Today is our marriage certificate day, our wedding night, let's celebrate!"
I forced a smile, clinked glasses with her, and sipped the wine, finding it so bitter.
Zhao Lin took a sip and said, "Can't you still forget that girl?"
I glanced at her and vehemently denied it. "Why do you say that?"
She looked at me, tears welling in her eyes. "It's okay. If you really can't forget her, just treat me as her. I don't mind being her substitute. As long as you're with me, with my daughter and me, anything is fine."
I knew she wasn't being sincere. Besides, I didn't want to, and couldn't, use her as a substitute for anyone. She and Li Meishan were completely different people. I put down my glass and said seriously, "Zhao Lin, my remarriage with you is sincere. You will never be a substitute for anyone. The only person I will live with is you, Zhao Lin."
Tears streamed down her face as she choked out, "Zhongyan, I love you. I was wrong in the past. From now on, I won't treat you like that anymore..."
Her pitiful appearance made me feel a little sorry for her. I pulled her into my arms and kissed her expectant lips. Her arms wrapped around my neck, and she kissed me passionately.
I removed her bath towel, revealing she was naked underneath. I bent down and took one nipple into my mouth, sucking for a while before taking the other, while simultaneously caressing her private parts, which were already quite wet.
"Darling, carry me inside..." she murmured in my arms, her face filled with a dazed, passionate expression...
The weekend after we got our marriage certificate was Christmas Eve, and both families gathered at a restaurant for dinner. Besides Zhao Lin, my daughter, and me, there were my parents, my brother and sister-in-law, Zhao Lin's parents, and her younger brother. Zhao Lin's younger brother was actually her cousin, but he had basically grown up in her family and still lived with her parents, almost like family. Zhao
Lin's father was especially happy; he had always liked me, even during the years after my divorce from Zhao Lin, he genuinely considered me his son-in-law.
My parents were also quite happy; after all, it would be difficult for me to find them another daughter-in-law like Zhao Lin, who was beautiful, outstanding, and capable. More importantly, my daughter, Ni'er, now had a complete family.
After the dinner, my parents left in my brother and sister-in-law's car, and my parents-in-law were also preparing to drive back. Zhao's younger brother, however, didn't plan to go back with them. Zhao's father said, "You brat, where are you going so late at night?" He always treated his wife's sister's child as his own.
Zhao's younger brother said that Brother Taihao had invited him and a group of friends to spend Christmas Eve. This guy had always liked Cui Taihao, always calling him "Brother Taihao." He had changed jobs several times, all arranged by Cui Taihao. He was probably the only one who disapproved of my remarriage with Zhao Lin; he wished Cui Taihao would be his brother-in-law. After
Zhao Lin's parents drove away with my daughter, I saw Cui Taihao standing next to his Maserati SUV. Zhao Lin and I went over to greet him, and the guy, ignoring Zhao's younger brother and me standing right there, suddenly pulled Zhao Lin into his arms.
"What are you doing?" Zhao Lin was quite embarrassed, struggling a few times before finally letting him, looking at me uneasily.
After Cui Taihao released her, he said to his goddess, "Be good, tell me anything, understand?"
Zhao Lin glanced at me again and said to Cui Taihao, "Hurry up! Don't you and my brother have things to do?"
Cui Taihao pointed at me, "Take care of yourself!"
After he finished speaking, he and Zhao's brother got into his car and sped away into the night.
On the way home, Zhao Lin said that if I minded, she could stop seeing Cui Taihao.
I felt that she had really changed a lot, and all of these changes were for me. As I drove, I said, "You're lucky to have a friend like Cui Taihao."
That night, when we got home, Zhao Lin and I made love again. She moaned under me, "Husband, shoot inside me, let me have a son for you..."
I knew she wanted another child to completely tie my heart down. Whatever! I thought to myself, and with a final thrust, I poured my thousands of offspring deep inside her.
After Zhao Lin fell asleep, I went to the study alone to smoke. On this cold winter night, it snowed, a rare occurrence in Chengdu.
Looking at the crystal necklace in my hand, my thoughts drifted back to that September noon that year.
"Uncle..."
With that call, I saw the tall, beautiful young woman walking towards me.
At that moment, heartache exploded like fireworks, and I murmured in my heart, "Meishan..."
I decided to take on the design work for the group's aid project in Africa, becoming the project manager for the design team and going to that faraway place for two years.
My superiors had already expressed this intention and had spoken to me about it before, but I hadn't agreed then. Although I wasn't ambitious or good at scheming, I had a solid foundation and no problem with my professional skills.
My reason for doing this was to go to a remote, completely unfamiliar place to reflect and alleviate the self-blame and guilt I felt about what happened with Li Meishan.
Zhao Lin was very unhappy when she found out. She said we had just remarried and were planning to have a second child, yet I was going abroad for so long, asking if I was avoiding her. I said no, because this was an opportunity for me to turn my life around. Hadn't she always hoped I would achieve something? Now the opportunity had arrived.
She then asked if I could return to China during those two years. I told her that there was one family visit leave per year, and family members could also visit once a year, with all expenses reimbursed by the group's head office. Seeing that things had come to this point, she knew there was no point in saying anything more.
In March 2017, at the age of thirty-eight, I flew to Morocco in North Africa with three colleagues.
The day before departure, I sent the crystal necklace back to Li Meishan.

(This article ends here, but Li Meishan's story isn't over yet. Please read the second part, "Uncle's Confession: My Romance with a Beautiful Arab Woman," to find out more.)

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An older man's confession: My story with a female high school student (19-23)

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