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What is cuckoldry?
First, let's define it: cuckoldry is having another man, whether you know him or not, sleep with your wife or partner, allowing you to derive a special kind of pleasure, both visually and psychologically.
Which couples engage in this behavior?
First, it's often seen in middle-aged couples who have a good relationship, have accumulated wealth through hard work, and don't face significant financial pressure or many daily琐事 (trivial matters). However, in their otherwise mundane married life, they seek different and better sexual experiences because they no longer worry about their partner's infidelity or divorce.
Second, it's generally seen in people with higher education levels, who are open to new things, and whose family income is relatively stable. They have a more open-minded view of sex, no longer fixated on physical possession and fidelity. Instead, they aim for more harmonious and stimulating sexual experiences, especially satisfying their love for their wives through more fulfilling sexual experiences.
Third, some men dedicate all their energy to work, career, or frequent business trips, while their wives stay home to care for their parents and children, which is quite demanding. One reason might be to express a lack of companionship towards one's wife, or to add some color to her lonely life. Another reason could be that the man doesn't want or accept his wife's infidelity, secretly having relationships with others, and therefore actively seeks out other men to establish sexual relationships with her.
A fourth reason is that men with this mindset often experience sexual difficulties and are gradually unable to satisfy their wives' sexual needs. Out of a desire to prevent their wives from enduring unfulfilled desires, or out of a male desire for conquest, they seek out other, stronger men to conquer their wives, while also gaining a sense of conquest themselves.
A fifth reason is that some men have had many sexual partners in the past and have experienced the sweet pleasure of sex with different women. Out of a sense of compensation, or because their wives have only had relationships with them, they encourage their wives to have relationships with other men to experience different kinds of sex and satisfy their growing libido.
A sixth reason is that the wife is attractive, capable, and of good character and integrity. To avoid regret over her infidelity one day, the man might as well let her have relationships with others while he is aware of it. Or it could be a desire to show off, to let others experience and appreciate the charm of his wife.
How does this develop step by step?
It usually starts with the man having this thought. If a woman has the idea of having relations with other men, she usually chooses to cheat and rarely tells her husband. When a man has this thought, he usually experiences a period of psychological conflict, wondering why he has such disgusting and perverted thoughts, not knowing where they come from or how to explain them.
But sexual psychology is so strange and hidden. Is it driven by lust? Or is it curiosity? Anyway, it's like a seed planted in his heart, fermenting little by little. Every time he thinks about it during marital life, he slowly feels a sense of excitement and stimulation, and the desire to act on it grows stronger and stronger.
So one day, he will find an opportunity to bring up this idea to his partner. Especially during sex with his wife, when she is unable to control herself, because at this time her resistance to sex is extremely weak, and when she is burning with desire, there is only longing, no resistance.
Generally, when a woman hears her partner make such a request, she either thinks her man is perverted, or finds it unbelievable, or feels that he no longer loves her; in short, she will absolutely oppose it. However, as long as there's an unfulfilled desire, there's always a way to make it possible. So, through gradual persuasion and stimulation, the man slowly guides her into that emotional state until she gradually stops objecting or remains silent, silently accepting. When the time is ripe, he takes the initiative to find someone, or he lets his wife find someone to have sex with. Once this happens the first time, it usually becomes a natural progression.
Who does she usually choose for the first time?
For safety, health, and a pleasurable experience, she usually chooses friends, colleagues, superiors, or strangers she knows to some extent online. Acquaintances may already have ulterior motives, and it's a convenient favor. Strangers are also a no-brainer, so there's no risk involved.
The man usually chooses to participate the first time himself or not to avoid embarrassment. But once the first time is successful, it becomes much easier afterward.
For women, the first time usually brings a revolutionary change in their understanding of sex, and they never imagined they would have such an experience. They become much more open sexually, yearning for and longing for that feeling, and it can even become addictive. And they will actively seek greater thrills. Generally, the first time a man sees his lover having relations with someone else, he feels both excited and bittersweet, yet he also enjoys it.
How should we view this?
The cuckoldry complex is essentially a path of no return. Whether they are unaware of this complex or, after learning about it, driven by curiosity, many people will enjoy this feeling and have a strong urge to act on it. They openly or secretly seek out such people and orchestrate such opportunities. This usually doesn't mean the couple has lost love, but rather that they love each other too much; it's a search for more enjoyment and excitement within a framework of complete trust.
How should we interpret this?
In the current social climate and with people's understanding of emotions, infidelity and extramarital affairs can no longer be controlled by marital fidelity or the constraints of marriage. Marital conflicts and divorces caused by distrust and infidelity are too numerous and have become a social problem rather than a personal one. It's no longer just a moral or legal issue, but a matter of seeking emotional support and spiritual connection.
Whether you agree or not, those high-energy individuals are having a blast, and we seem to have gradually come to accept other people's behavior, as long as it doesn't happen to us. However, we all overestimate the fidelity of our partners. And when it happens to us, we're always at a loss, often the last to know. Think about the people around you—how many haven't had affairs? Would you choose to tell your partner?
Therefore, in reality, the breaking of sexual constraints between the sexes is unstoppable, and open marriages are accepted by some. Rather than one party secretly choosing unilateral infidelity, it's better to establish a more reasonable model for building a relationship. When the feelings are still there, but sex is dull, and one party cannot satisfy their partner's physical needs, it's actually torture for both. Choosing a way to mutually satisfy each other is also a sublimation of the relationship and sex life.
Of course, this is not advocacy, because some people will never have this mindset, and some will never choose this approach. Because, with time, they may not be able to discover better ways for couples to get along.
Some people can't find such opportunities in reality because the chances of finding a partner in real life are too small; it's not something that can be openly chosen. Just like the stereotype that handsome, rich men are more likely to cheat, or beautiful, elegant women are more likely to cheat, this kind of stigmatized perception is far from the truth. If you do research, you'll find it's not like that at all. Such people are often more arrogant, have higher expectations, and have fewer choices in reality. Therefore, what we need to change isn't the boundaries of what we do, but rather the balance we strike in our perceptions and how we handle relationships.
However, please rest assured that this will never become a social trend; from the day it was born, it has been a niche activity. Some enjoy it, others scoff at it. It's like how many people believe in Buddhism, and many choose to become monks or nuns. But if everyone in the world became a monk or nun, would there be no one left? Far from that many enlightened people; most people are still unable to escape worldly concerns. Social progress means allowing everyone to have their own choices, to choose their own lifestyle as long as they don't harm others and do so voluntarily.
For example, adultery is no longer within the scope of legal jurisdiction; legal measures are only taken against forced or transactional sexual acts. Therefore, we only discuss social phenomena and psychological perceptions, without judging right or wrong, and without seeking acceptance. In the adult world, one should choose a lifestyle that is acceptable to oneself and that one believes is the best.

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