Shenyang, Don't Cry for Me - Chapter Thirty-One: My First Night

Lulu is going to study in Beijing. Zhang Ge has been with her for the past two days before she leaves, and I went to see her after work too. She was constantly in tears. It's no wonder she's so sad to be so far from home alone. Zhang Ge is also feeling uneasy; the thought of not seeing his daughter for so long makes his eyes well up with tears as well.
The house was rented. Now that Lulu has been admitted to university, the house has fulfilled its purpose. In the past two days, Brother Zhang has hired workers from his company to move all the useful things to Tiexi. Brother Zhang has kept a 100-square-meter apartment he developed himself, which is already renovated. He simply left the rest of the old stuff in the house.
The house was so messy there wasn't even room to step. Seeing the place where Lulu and I used to live in like this made me very sad. Lulu was even more so; she wanted to take everything she saw, but Zhang Ge usually refused. She treasured the geometric model I made for Lulu and carried it to the new house, along with two maps covered in writing.
I contacted the municipal government's logistics support center and booked two soft sleeper train tickets for Lulu and Brother Zhang. On the morning Lulu left, I drove Brother Zhang's car and took the father and daughter to the North Station. When I saw Lulu off, I secretly put the necklace into Lulu's small bag.
The train started moving. Lulu pressed her face against the window, tears streaming down her face like pearls. She waved to me, her lips moving, and I could see that she was silently calling for her brother, and then she said a lot more, but I couldn't guess what it was anymore.
Saying goodbye always makes me particularly sad. Lulu is gone, and my heart feels empty. On my way home, my phone rang. I saw it was Ermei's number. Ermei has called me countless times lately; of course, Director Zou gave her the number. I've been quite busy lately and haven't seen her. Today I felt very bored and wanted someone to keep me company, so I agreed to have dinner with her.
Around noon, I drove to a rather unique restaurant. Seven or eight of Ermei's friends, both men and women, arrived; they were all quite heavy drinkers. When Ermei saw me, she grabbed my arm and said in a coquettish tone that she missed me. Her friends teased her, saying that Ermei hadn't been eating or drinking lately and was lovesick. Two of the women even questioned whether I was like Chen Shimei, abandoning my old flame after getting a promotion.
I argued with them, saying that I had never had any "relationship" with Ermei, so there was no question of new or old, and it had nothing to do with Chen Shimei (a notorious figure in Chinese folklore known for abandoning his wife). Ermei got so angry that she started pinching me with her nails, and I yelled exaggeratedly, and we all started making a ruckus.
Ermei's friends are a bunch of rascals. They all look eccentric, but they're actually pretty good people. They just have a little money at home, so they just laze around doing nothing.
The atmosphere became even more lively after we started drinking. This group kept trying to get me and Ermei to drink from the same cup, and then they played drinking games. I could tell they were all ganging up on me. Luckily, I was in a bad mood and really wanted to drink, so I accepted everyone's offer and engaged in a drinking contest, relentlessly pouring drinks into each other's cups. In the end, we were all drunk, except for Ermei, who barely drank anything and just quietly laughed. Although I'm usually the biggest drinker, maybe because of my bad mood, I only managed a little over half of my usual amount before I felt dizzy.
The drinking session lasted until after 4 a.m.
After leaving the hotel, we still felt like we hadn't had enough fun, so we went to another place for barbecue and draft beer, and didn't leave until after 9 p.m. before finally staggering home. I was definitely not in a good state to drive, so Ermei helped me up and said, "You've had too much to drink, let me drive you home." I didn't refuse.
On the way home, I fell asleep on the seat. When we arrived, Ermei spent a lot of effort getting me upstairs. She was afraid I would fall, so she held me tightly.
Although I was drunk, my mind was clear. At that moment, I suddenly realized I had been too harsh on Ermei. She was actually quite nice and had always been tolerant of me. I had hurt her too much because of my vanity and so-called self-esteem. So I put my arm around Ermei's shoulder and sincerely said, "Ermei, you're actually a good person. I only said things like you weren't pretty or sexy to upset you before." This was the first time I had said anything nice about her.
While steadying my swaying body, Ermei said angrily, "You're only just realizing this? I told Guan Han, but it's too late!"
Once inside, I went to the bathroom first. I'd drunk too much today, and I couldn't help but throw up a few times before staggering out. The lights were all off; I figured Ermei was probably gone. I leaned against the wall and went back to the bedroom, quickly stripping naked and throwing myself onto the bed. The moment I lay down, I realized something was wrong—someone was already in bed! And they had reached out and hugged me! I was startled and tried to jump up, but my legs were as weak as noodles; I had no strength at all.
Ermei said in a gentle voice she had never used before, "Guan Han, I really missed you..." and pressed her whole body against him.
She wasn't wearing anything! Her soft body slid against my skin, sending a shiver down my spine. I had never been so naked against a girl before; the feeling was both exciting and overwhelming. Ermei's lips pressed against mine, her tongue skillfully teasing me, her soft hands caressing my body... I felt like I was in a dream, letting her stimulation ignite the alcohol within me.
She kissed me, her hands roaming over my body like snakes, finally settling on a patch of overgrown weeds. I felt like a balloon being blown up to burst. I groped haphazardly over Ermei's body; her small, firm breasts, her wet vulva—all sensations I had never experienced before.
Ermei and I couldn't hold back any longer. She rolled over and straddled me, lowering herself little by little while crying out in pain. I felt the riverbed was tight, wet, and stimulating, my little fish being rubbed back and forth with intense excitement. When we finally joined together tightly, I couldn't control myself and ejaculated. She screamed loudly and clamped her legs tightly around me, only releasing me after a long time.
This was the first time in my life I'd done this with a woman, and I didn't expect it to end so quickly. It was really embarrassing. Ermei was clearly not satisfied; she kept kissing and touching me while murmuring, "I love you so much..." She kept stimulating me in different ways, and soon I was back to my full potential. Ermei moaned again and pressed herself against me... That night, we tossed and turned for most of the night until we were both exhausted and finally fell asleep in each other's arms.
I woke up groggily the next morning, feeling terrible all over. I opened my eyes to find Ermei sitting upright on the bed, looking at me. Thinking about what happened last night, I felt a pang of regret. Alcohol can cloud judgment; how could I have so little self-control? How could I have done something like that!
My annoyed expression seemed to irritate Er Mei, who said casually, "What's wrong? Regretting it?"
I honestly said, "I do regret it a little. I shouldn't have touched you. I'm sorry, Ermei."
Ermei's face tightened, and she said stubbornly, "I told you that one day you would regret it, didn't I? I wasn't wrong, was I?"
I sighed and said, "You don't have to risk everything just to make me regret it once, do you?"
Ermei said with feigned smugness, "I'm willing! I didn't expect you to be a virgin. I've gotten a great deal!" Her tone was like that of an old john who had just gotten a virgin.
I got angry when she said that, so I jokingly replied, half-seriously, "It's true I'm a virgin, but unfortunately you're not."
Ermei's body stiffened as if electrocuted. After a few seconds, she jumped out of bed, quickly dressed, and rushed out. I tried to stop her, but she flung my hand away like a madwoman and slammed the door shut. I felt the whole building tremble violently, and my heart skipped a beat. Actually, I didn't care whether Ermei was a virgin or not; I only said those things on purpose because her tone was so lewd.
I never imagined that telling her a thousand lies in earnest wouldn't hurt her, but a single truthful joke would wound her so deeply.
Regardless, on this drunken night, the night Lulu had just left Shenyang, I lost my virginity. People say men don't care about virginity, but that's not true. Men, like women, care deeply about their first time and will always remember their first woman. Whether Ermei talks to me or not, I will never forget her. Perhaps this is what Ermei wanted!

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Shenyang, Don't Cry for Me - Chapter Thirty-One: My First Night

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