Couples dating

Generally, there are several reasons why someone might support their partner having a lover: First, they might want their partner to relive the romance of courtship, filling a void in their emotional life and stimulating their love, even a little jealousy, keeping their marriage in a dynamic, volatile state where everyone feels there's something new to excite them, keeping their passion high and their emotions fluctuating. Second, they might simply want to provide physical stimulation, adding excitement to their otherwise mundane sex life. Third, they might satisfy their own voyeuristic desires, or a renewed aesthetic appreciation of their partner triggered by emotional intrusion. Fourth, they might hope that their partner's new emotional connection will give them some personal freedom. Fifth, it might be based on certain emotional or material needs, or both. Sixth, it might simply be out of love for their partner, wanting them to enjoy themselves… and so on. If someone supports their partner having a lover for any of these reasons, then they likely possess a certain level of psychological resilience. But strong mental fortitude alone is not enough; a broad mind and tolerance are also necessary. A lover is obviously someone with whom you share emotional investment and mutual affection. If your lover is also in love with someone else, and your heart is filled with longing, your place in their heart will naturally shift and diminish. You might even have to bear the consequences of their joys and sorrows—you need to be a solid wall or a broad arm, accepting the impact of their sadness and offering timely embraces and comfort; you need to be a gentle breeze, spreading their joyful laughter when they are excitedly dancing, and whispering in their ear, "Your happiness is my happiness." Therefore, your heart must be broad enough, because love has always had a selfish aspect. Loving someone else inevitably diminishes your own love and attention. Your tolerance must understand that their receiving or giving love elsewhere is also their own happiness, a happiness derived from and based on their own. For example, he/she might frequently date their lover, and these dates might conflict with some of your daily plans. In this situation, you need to know how to prioritize, manage your emotions, and find a balance. Or, for instance, he/she might have secrets with their lover. Should you try everything to find out, get angry, or ignore it? Or perhaps they've had multiple affairs and are pregnant? You need to have a mental plan for all these problems and a solution in mind, instead of feeling excluded by your partner and developing resentment. In short, you need to have a tolerant heart and the ability to resolve any issues. Generally speaking, to prevent irreparable consequences from a partner having an affair, both partners need to understand each other's bottom lines. For example, some husbands' bottom line is that their wives' dates with their lovers cannot conflict with family activities; if there is a conflict, family activities take priority. Some wives' bottom line is that their husbands cannot spend the night with their lovers. Others agree that they cannot spend any holidays with their lovers and must spend them at home. Still others agree to use contraception when being intimate with their lovers, and so on. If you understand what you want from supporting your partner's affair, understand your own limits, and understand each other's bottom lines, then weighing whether to support or not becomes easy, and you can easily determine whether supporting or not is right for your family.

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Couples dating

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