Exploring the formation of my cuckoldry complex

It's said that everyone's personality and quirks have a reason for forming, and today I'll recount how my experience with being cuckolded came about. I was born in the countryside, and as a child, there wasn't much to do. In the evenings, besides playing with my friends, I liked to gather around a group of adults and listen to their nonsense, especially in the summer when many people in the village would sit together and chat. This included stories of paranormal events, who was having an affair, and so on. Even though I was young, hearing about who slept with whom would inexplicably excite me. Around fifth grade, my older brother from the front yard got married, and everyone joked about them every day. Some even said they'd gone to his house and the two of them were kissing. At that time, I thought my sister-in-law was very promiscuous, and I wanted to hear about her and see her. Sometimes I even fantasized about having sex with her. About six months later, she became familiar with everyone and would come out at night to chat. Sometimes she would joke about us kids, especially me, because we lived close by and I was a well-behaved and good student, so everyone liked me. Sometimes she would say she wanted to hold me while I slept, or let me nurse, etc. Every time, I felt very excited and always fantasized about having sex with her. One time, we were chatting outside until late. Her older brother hadn't come home yet, I forget what it was about, so she asked me to come over and keep her company. My mom wasn't too keen at first, but after everyone egged me on, I went anyway. When I got home, she said she'd take me home when her brother came back. I boldly asked, "Didn't you want to cuddle with me while we slept?" She blushed, then chuckled and said, "You're still young, I was just teasing you." I was really frustrated, so I asked, "What about breastfeeding?" She said, "You're so young, I didn't expect you to know everything." I said, "Can I breastfeed?" Honestly, I really wanted to rape her then. She didn't say anything, and after a while, she said, "Don't you want to touch your mom's breasts?" I said, "I'm too old, you can't touch them anymore." We talked about breasts for a while, and she finally agreed, telling me not to tell anyone. That was the first time I'd ever touched someone else's breasts; they were so big and warm, and my penis was rock hard. Later, she told me to eat it, and after I ate it, I got excited and really wanted to fuck her, but she wouldn't let me. She said she felt uncomfortable and told me not to eat anymore, that my older brother should be back soon. I was so stupid then, and I let go. She also told me not to tell anyone. But I always kept my promise and never told anyone. Later, around midnight, my older brother came back and took me home. After that, I often thought about sucking her breasts again, but I never had the chance. After graduating from sixth grade, I went to junior high school in the county town, and I saw her less often. But my sister-in-law has always been the object of my sexual fantasies, including after I learned to masturbate. She should be considered my sexual awakening. Okay, I'll stop here for now. I'll continue my sexual journey and the formation of my cuckoldry when I have time!

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Exploring the formation of my cuckoldry complex

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