The Wandering Evil God (End)

Chapter One: Huang Shigong of Mount Hua
Mount Hua, located near Huayin County, Shaanxi Province, rises over 3,000 meters and comprises five peaks: North Peak (Yuntai), Central Peak (Yunu), West Peak (Lianhua), South Peak (Luoyan), and East Peak (Chaoyang). It is known as the "Number One Mountain Under Heaven." The peaks are towering, layered with verdant foliage, clustered like flowers, with steep cliffs and sheer drops. The Song Dynasty poet Kou Zhun wrote in his poem "Climbing Mount Hua": "Only heaven is above, nothing higher than this: looking up, the red sun is near; looking back, the white clouds are low." Mount Hua boasts many scenic spots, such as the sunrise at Chaoyang Peak, the Lotus Peak resembling a divine axe, the plank road spanning the sky and the magnificent Chess Pavilion, the Jade Maiden Peak where the phoenix is said to be played on a flute, and the Lanling Hall of the Xiyue Temple. These are all scenic spots that have given rise to magical legends. From the summit, one can gaze far into the distance, looking north towards the Wei River, which meanders like a dragon spreading across the clouds, its beauty especially serene and graceful at dawn. The Yellow River flows from north to south, then turns east at Fenglingdu, with the pass looming in the distance.
The spring rain subsided slightly, and the misty clouds, turning a pale yellow, enveloped the mountaintops and cut off the peaks in half.
Gather together.
At the foot of the mountain, dozens of farmers, dressed in baskets and hats, were driving their oxen into the fields to plow in the spring rain.
Suddenly, thunder and lightning struck, and torrential rain poured down. The farmers abandoned their fields and fled into the nearby dense forest.
Suddenly, the clouds in the eastern sky parted, and a streak of blue light, accompanied by lightning and thunder, swept across the field. More than a thousand oxen that were working in the fields collapsed to the ground, unconscious. Only one strong cow remained, showing no fear, and let out a long, loud "beep beep" as it looked up at the sky.
As lightning flashed, a green dragon emerged from the clouds, its wide-open, bronze-bell-shaped eyes gazing at the earth. Suddenly, it swooped down and circled above the cow in spring.
The Azure Dragon stretched out its front claws and suddenly gripped the cow's horns on its forehead. It arched its body, its head raised, drool dripping from its mouth, and its scales bursting open in excitement. Its hind legs gripped the cow's back, its tail raised to the sky, and the dragon whip hidden deep within its body slowly extended. It was two feet long, wet, hard, and red, writhing incessantly. Suddenly, it spun into the cow's genitals and began to mate with her.
The farmers, who were taking shelter from the rain in the dense forest, were taken aback by this sight. They looked at each other in astonishment, speechless and at a loss for what to do.
A moment later, the lewd dragon roared to the sky, was seen through the clouds, transformed into a streak of green light, and leisurely disappeared.
The cow, still in the throes of spring, collapsed to the ground, panting and listless, groaning softly... She gave birth to a calf, which, apart from its dark green skin, showed no abnormalities. A concerned farmer came to visit, but seeing nothing amiss, and realizing the calf was not a monster, he gradually forgot about it as time passed.
Two years later.
The mountains remain as they were in spring, the birds still sing and the flowers still bloom, and the scenery is still beautiful.
As dusk approached, the western sky was ablaze with colorful clouds, and a majestic Taoist priest arrived on a cloud-borne journey, heading to a farmer's cowshed.
"Li Ergou? Are you selling this green ox?" Li Ergou was startled by the sudden question and turned around in surprise. He saw a Taoist priest who was eight feet eighty feet tall, with yellow Taoist eyebrows, long earlobes, crescent-shaped mouth, three-pointed nose, thick lips, and kind eyes. Li Ergou felt a sense of solemn respect.
Hearing his question, Li Ergou exclaimed in surprise, "Master! You must be from out of town! I regard this blue ox as my own child; its daily farm work is equivalent to that of ten oxen from other families. I will never blame it… How do you know my childhood name?" The Master ignored him, slowly walked towards the blue ox, affectionately stroked its back for a moment, and said with a smile, "We are from the same Li family. This blue ox is destined to be with me, so I have come to offer my blessings! This ingot of gold is enough for you to buy dozens of oxen. If you don't sell it, your family may face disaster a year from now!" The Master held up a yellow-orange gold ingot in his right hand, smiling at Li Ergou.
Upon seeing that the gold was quite heavy—enough to buy more than dozens of strong oxen—Li Ergou immediately changed his mind and replied:
"Sell! Sell! A day without food, even father and son will turn against each other. Money makes the world go round, fortune telling and physiognomy are all nonsense, people's mouths are just two pieces of skin, their words can move! How can you believe these things!" He hurriedly led the blue ox to the Taoist priest, happily accepted the gold ingot, weighed it, and was extremely satisfied. He looked up and asked, "Taoist priest! You said you are from the same clan... what is your name?" "My surname is Li, my given name is Er, my courtesy name is Boyang, and I am known as 'Laozi'." As soon as he finished speaking, he led the blue ox away, looking like a cunning old man, but suddenly his trace had vanished, as if he had disappeared into thin air.
Riding an ox out of the pass, never to return; white clouds drift aimlessly for a thousand years.
Five hundred years later.
Huashan Cloud Terrace North Case Canglong Ridge.
A large bird flew swiftly in the western sky, its golden light shimmering as it approached.
The divine bird "Golden-Winged Roc" has hook-like claws that tightly grip a dejected blue dragon.
The Golden-Winged Roc flew down to Azure Dragon Ridge. Suddenly, it swooped down, twenty feet above the ridge peak, its claws outstretched, and the Azure Dragon plummeted like a shooting star, crushing several pine trees.
Upon landing, the Azure Dragon spoke in human language, crying out, "Brother Pengyu! Are you trying to kill me? We have no grudges against each other, why throw me so violently?" The Golden-Winged Roc stood on the cloud, slightly flapping its wings, causing the clouds to drift and the rosy clouds to scatter. A strong wind swept by, making the green pines on the mountain rustle.
In an instant, a valiant general clad in golden armor materialized, wielding a Vajra staff, and roared, "Lustful dragon! Stop trying to curry favor! My cousin is bewitched by you, unable to eat or drink. Has she offended you on your long journey? I am here by imperial decree to have you reincarnated. Don't delay, I must return to the Heavenly Court to report. Do not make a mistake!" The lustful dragon coiled into a circle, and with a flick of its wrist, transformed into a handsome young man. Dressed in scholar's robes, with a turban tied around his head, the man clasped his hands in a gesture of respect and pleaded urgently, "Brother! We are still related by marriage, please spare me this time! I truly do not wish to be reincarnated. I wish to return to the 'Earthly Realm' with you, marry the 'Red-Winged Woman,' and cultivate myself to a higher realm!" Peng Yu, the eagle-like figure, glared at the scholar, scoffing and saying with utter contempt, "You brat! My cousin already hates you to the bone. No matter how eloquent you are, trying to reconcile is futile. First, cleanse your licentious and fickle nature, then reincarnate and cultivate yourself properly!" The scholar's mind was already... Chaos and panicked, he asked, "Brother! Where will I be reborn? Will I still be able to ascend to the ranks of immortals? I've heard that there's a mystery surrounding reincarnation; will I lose all my magical powers?" Peng Yu, his sleeves billowing and eyes gleaming with rage, said through gritted teeth, "You brat! I haven't offended Heaven, I have no experience with this, how would I know? Don't make a fool of yourself, Heaven's will is just! The time has come, enough nonsense. There's a well-off family at the foot of Canglong Ridge, surnamed Li, that's where you'll be reborn. Go down!" Without another word, Peng Yu lightly waved his magic weapon, unleashing a golden light, powerful and unstoppable, like a giant roc seizing a tiger.
The Confucian scholar panicked and was filled with indignation. He roared like a dragon and tried to resist, but the light bound him like a net, and he turned into a golden ball and fell rapidly down the mountain.
"You brat! In this reincarnation, you've escaped five hundred years of misfortune. Perhaps what you lost on one front will be gained on another. What's meant to be will be. Go back to Heaven and report!" Peng Yu transformed back into the golden-winged roc, spread his wings, and flew westward with lightning speed.
Seventeen years later.
On the left side of Canglong Ridge, a path carved into the rock is called "Ear-Scraping Cliff." Passing through Ear-Scraping Cliff leads to "King Yama's Bat." This is the most precipitous part of Mount Hua, considered a life-or-death ordeal for travelers. After passing this point, the path gradually widens, and there is an archway inscribed with "Imperial Path to Ascension." Passing through the archway leads to the Imperial Path. Climbing the steps, one is surrounded by cliffs on both sides, steep and scorching. After reaching the top of the Imperial Path, the ridge ends and the road cuts off, marking the highest point of Canglong Ridge.
At this moment, a point of blue light, like a star, appeared in the south, rushing towards the vast and boundless Azure Dragon Ridge.
In the blink of an eye, the blue starlight rapidly expanded, like a full moon.
Suddenly, a robust blue ox appeared inside the blue light dome, with a young man with a crown-like face riding on its back. He looked to be only seventeen or eighteen years old and was excitedly galloping towards them.
The blue ox galloped wildly, its four hooves treading on auspicious five-colored clouds, bursting forth with starlight and sparks, its hissing sound trailing a dazzling rainbow in the sky.
The handsome young man with a face like a king, red lips and white teeth shouted, "Xiao Qing! Go for it! Go faster! This feeling of soaring through the clouds is so exhilarating, so exhilarating! Forget about your senior brother's exam, we have the incense as proof, there's still plenty of time, let's go around again!" Li Tanhua was in high spirits, laughing at the Huashan group of tables, patting the green ox's plump cheeks, pointing straight to the valley at the waist below.
青牛会意，啤叫一声，放开四蹄。徒然奔下云端，直冲山谷而来，劲风狂飙，惊动千兽万禽，望风而逃，有如丧心游魂，沉鸣咆哮之声不绝于耳。
李探花顽谨淘气，双掌凌空虚拍。左右开弓，角度玄妙，激起两般龙卷旋风，横扫空中逃命惊鸟，瞬间如雨傍陀，纷纷坠落，掠过之处无一幸免。
异态奇景！左边飞禽皆冰冻如石，落人床中发出「笃笃」声响。右边飞禽则皆触风焦熟冒烟，引燃茂林。
李探花见状，蹦跳而起，伫立牛背。拉开裤头掏出宝贝家伙，当空撒起尿来，又脱下裤子放了阵响屁。口中念念有辞，屁风夹带尿水，风雨飘摇，勃右边冒火丛林洒落，火焰虽应声熄灭，却臭气熏天。
青牛昂鼻例嘴吃笑，迎合主人之乐，兴致更高，东奔西突，追逐窜逸山野之间的兽类，竖起牛角，顶撞得野猪、摩鹿四处衷嚎，咆哮连连。
李探花雀跃欢呼，鼓掌叫好。
蓦间，耳膜震颤，响起师兄如雷传音：「臭小子又造杀案，可不知上天有好生之德！」李探花不改骄顽本性，也以传音入密功夫回道：「师兄代师教艺有如慈父，小弟不胜感佩，但于乘风破云之中吓人，万一小弟不意惊骇坠落悬崖，恐怕得粉身碎骨，以后谁来孝敬您呢？」「探花！浪荡儿性格就是改不了，油嘴滑舌的，没句正经话，整日疯疯颅颅，如何承担除妖伏魔重任？学学你师侄张良谦谦君子的风度。那像你！呼风唤雨之术耍成」尿风尿雨「，真叫道家蒙羞，出了个宝贝浪子！」「师兄！不对啊？前些日子师父直夸我天生龙种，千年才出一个，聪颖智慧无与伦比呢！」「真拿你没办法，顽皮捣蛋，鬼头鬼脑，不学无术还强辩，朽木不可离他！」「师兄！鬼灵精有什么不好，神仙不知瓜里事怎么可以？要万事皆通才能传道授业解惑也。像那个迂腐的笨张良有什么好？皇帝要宰了他，他还要触逆鳞，真是瞎子打灯笼白费啦！」「探花！你这是那门子的譬喻，不伦不类的。算了！刚才师父飞符传书示警，说今日午时癸阴当道，天狗噬日，百年一次的癸阴熬口凌厉霸道无比。快下来！
你还是凡夫之身，要没有青牛的神光明罩护体，早就神形俱灭了。」师父的话岂可违背，李探花急忙右手轻拍青牛额头，道：「小青！我们回『博台洞天』，免得师兄心急！」青牛会意。昂首轻啤雨声。
「驾！‘闪灵追星’，走了！」青牛四蹄翻扬，骤生风雷，流星赶月往朝阳峰博台方向电逝。
「博台」是颗巨大黄石，四平八稳的雄踞案颠，似天外飞来损石，傲然脾现群山。
朝阳案山腰间有个宽阔天然石洞，洞口石壁勒有「博台洞天」四字。黄石公在下祁坦桥上因应尘缘，三次脱靴波化张良，授予三卷兵书之后，即归隐修链于此。
青牛奔至洞口，突然飞来两支老鹰冲撞，阻止去路。青牛迅雷之势哪煞得住，连忙惊吓一闪。
「轰！哗啦……」山摇地动，石屑漫天扬起，山石纷纷滑落。
青牛冲速如箭，一头撞进洞旁山壁，只余年尾悬空摇摆。
「师兄！快救我……」李探花不及应变，被抛掷空中，骤然摔落千仞绝崖，一时手足无措，眼见就要坠个粉身碎骨。
摹间，一道五彩祥云如雷飘至。云端伫立一位仙翁，鹤发童颜，慈眉书目，五络长髻雪白如瀑，儒门衣襟被风刮得猎猎飞扬。
只见黄石公递出一根龙头楞杖，李探花一见，急急死命攀住，脚踏红丝绑着的那支酒葫芦，稳住身形，回魂嘘了口气，保住小命一条。
「师兄！谢谢您，快拉我一把，我的双手抱着龙拐已经酸麻，就要掉下去了！」「忍耐一会，马上回『博古洞天』。千万则伸出『霉气右手』碰我，不然要像青牛一样倒大楣了。」黄石公扛着龙头楞杖，李探花就如钓竿上的鱼儿，悬空晃荡着，云驾回返洞天，把「鱼儿」卸下，行至洞口，轻挥一掌拍向山壁。
「轰！」一声，洞天微震，钻进山壁内的青牛应声倒弹了出来。
撞得七荤八素的青牛醉步蹦珊，迹进洞内，牛眼突睁，神色惊骇盯着李探花，吸吸哦哦恳求着。
李探花歉然一笑，伸出左手轻抚青牛额头，青牛这才扬扬后蹄，伸出牛舌稣抵李探花左手背，状极亲昵。
黄石公不快道：「小师弟！跟你说了不知多少遍，右手『霉气』碰触过的人畜物，需再以左手『福气』摸抚，才不会倒楣出事，怎么老忘了？」「师兄！刚才腾云驾雾之间一时乐过了头，我知错了……应算无心之过吧！」「呀！算了，你的『无心之过』也太多了！『七龙红泥宝瓮』里那几十种药材已经煮糊了，快下去泡洗吧！」「我最喜欢泡药洗澡了，两天没泡还真念念不忘呢！泡这药澡不仅舒筋活骨，精神百倍，还链得我一身铜皮铁骨，而且百毒不侵。记得有一次不小心踩到毒蛇，它返身咬我，两颗大毒牙就是咬不进皮肤，奈何不了。」李探花一边说一边脱了衣襟，赤裸跳进七龙红泥大瓮内。药味清香扑鼻，水温适中，滑腻有如凝脂，洗得李探花不亦乐乎。
黄石公盘坐药瓮前面，提起双掌默运神功，迸出三昧纯阴真气，冰冻药瓮。
青牛则立于药瓮后方，张开大嘴，喷出熊熊烈焰，烘烧药瓮。
一冷一热交相煎熬，片刻之后，红泥瓮身精雕细琢的七条盘龙散发出七彩绮丽光芒，缠绕回旋于李探花头顶，瞬间钻进项门泥九宫隐沉。
李探花为此突如其来的遭遇愣了一下，只觉体内躁热难耐，但只霎时间。即转为清凉，通体舒畅。就在这当儿，皮肤起了变化，散出淡淡脂玉光华，晶莹剔透，瞬间即隐。
李探花神清气爽，四肢尽展，飘飘然乐透了，哼着小调优哉唱起歌来。
「师兄！太棒了……但我觉得气动还不足！小青，火焰再大点，可别偷懒，井舀三遍吃好水，人爱调教武艺高……」曲调一转：「天不怕，地不怕，只怕乌龟打官话……兄弟刀枪劫，血沾外人鞋……不要黄金白银，只要回眸生情……皓腕欺雪葱指滑，余香在怀心牵挂：春风春风啊且莫定，吹向仙府啊玉洞天……那奶子哟……师兄曰『玉洞天』有我们『博台洞天』大吗？」「碎！胡蔼乱语，越唱越不像话，简直下流，尽学些下三滥的东西！」「师兄！你有所不知，我曾溜到乡村玩耍，见有地痞流氓做坏事，凭我这身『铜皮铁骨』，揍得他们服服贴贴的。」「那地痞流氓做了什么坏事被你撞见了？」「师兄！有双男女一丝不挂，共处蓬房之内，那男的正在欺侮那个女的，骑在她身上，还边唱歌。那女的直喊『快死了……快死了……』眼见就要出人命，这还得了，救人要紧，我于是破门而入，拖下那个可恶的男人，打得他乌龟似的伏地叫饶，我才放他一条生路！」「哎！真是！什么跟什么呀！咳！不知师尊老人家看上你哪一点好？气闷我也！」李探花慌忙探出头来，吃惊的注视面有怒色的黄石公。
"Senior brother! What's wrong? Did I say something wrong? Please don't be angry. I sing and talk to cheer you up. Even if it doesn't sound good, you don't need to get angry! Master said that when you're practicing Qi cultivation, you can't get angry or overjoyed, or you'll go into a Qi deviation... Are you really angry?" "Alas! You, the third-ranking scholar, lost both your parents less than three years after you were born. Master saw your innocent and carefree nature and brought you back, only saying that you had a deep connection with the young man on your mount, but who knew...?" "Senior brother! What is my relationship with Xiaoqing? Xiaoqing and I get along very well!" "What is your relationship?" "I don't know either, I'll ask Master when I have the chance!" "Senior Brother! What happened next?" "Master took you to the Heavenly Realm to visit fellow Daoists, where you encountered Jiang Ziya's shrewish wife, 'Broom Star,' and 'God of Fortune,' Yang Cheng. Seeing how adorable you were, they fawned over Master, vying to adopt you as their godson, each giving you their true energy. That's why you now have 'good fortune' in your left hand and 'bad luck' in your right. Master entrusted me with raising you for over ten years, and I suffered greatly because of you..." Li Tanhua listened with great interest as Huang Shigong recounted his origins, eagerly asking, "Senior Brother! What happened? Did I give you..." "Are you causing trouble? Even a deity like you suffers?" Huang Shigong finished his work, wiping sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, stroking his white beard, and muttered irrelevantly, "Third Scholar! The Seven-Colored Dragon has appeared, and the 'Copper Skin and Iron Bones' technique is finally complete. These ten years have not been in vain. Unless it's a thousand-year-old divine artifact, ordinary iron can't harm you. You're playful by nature and can't concentrate. Your Taoist skills are disorganized. Only this treasure urn can help you create your 'External Divine Chains'." "Senior Brother! Master always comes and goes in a hurry. What is he busy with? I vaguely remember when we were little..." "You used to carry me around on clouds to visit friends, why haven't you taken me out for the past ten years?" "You're still playing around! I've never seen anyone as mischievous and naughty as you, you almost made me turn against some of my fellow Daoists. You plucked all the feathers off the divine cranes in the 'Divine Crane Pool' of the Antarctic Immortal, and killed several of them; you played with and broke the divine bell in the Palace of the God of Destiny, causing chaos in the movement of the stars and creating a 'leap month,' which led to the God of Destiny official Zhang Heng being banished to the mortal realm by the Jade Emperor, and he was so angry that he broke off relations with me; about twenty fairies who managed the Immortal Peach Garden took turns carrying you because you were so cute." "You're so funny! In no time, more than a dozen peach trees that your 'unlucky right hand' touched withered and died; you wanted to tear the fairy's robes, to suck her milk, making the fairy's heart flutter with lust, longing to become a mother. Just then, the Queen Mother of the West's carriage passed by and saw the fairy's wanton laughter and shameful behavior, so she banished them all to the mortal world to suffer the torment of unrequited love. I had to kneel before the Queen Mother of the West, holding you, begging for forgiveness... Alas! You've really ruined me! Do you think I'd still dare to take you out to visit friends?" "Senior brother! Really? I have no recollection of this at all!" "Still saying no..." "Would it? If it weren't for Master's correction of your dissolute and demonic nature, and his instructions over the past ten years to constantly gather elixirs to concoct you, who knows how much trouble you would have caused!" Living in the mountains where there is no sun or moon, and spending his days with the green ox, Li Tanhua, now a young man, was still innocent and pure, like a rough, unpolished jade. He remained unchanged, playing with his slingshot, and asked with his head held high, "Senior brother! Did you pass today's flight test?" "Yes! You passed. Your 'Flash Spirit Chasing Stars' is as fast as lightning; escaping and self-preservation are no problem. Master instructed that as long as the seven dragons in the red clay urn..." "Blessed by the radiant light, your journey is complete, you may now descend the mountain!" "Descend the mountain? You mean I can travel the Three Rivers and Five Sacred Mountains, broadening my horizons?" "Yes, traveling ten thousand miles is better than reading ten thousand books. But having lived in these high mountains for so long, you haven't witnessed the dangers of the world. I wonder if you can adapt to worldly life? Moreover, how about spreading the Dao, helping the world, and saving all sentient beings?" Li Tanhua also sensed something, thinking to himself, "Yes! I am but a mortal, I cannot escape eating, drinking, defecating, urinating, and sleeping. Yet, for the past ten years, I have never been troubled by worldly possessions. As the saying goes, 'When one person is well-fed, the whole family is at peace,' and so it is." "If I can't even manage two sets of clothes, how can I help others if I'm starving? Maybe I should stay in the mountains... But the outside world is too tempting. If I don't try it, won't I waste years? At worst, like last time, I'll eat and drink for free and get a beating from the crew. But with a body of steel, what's there to fear? The world is full of expenses... Hehe! I've got it! 'Botai Cave' is full of Shang and Qin artifacts. I'll take a few as travel expenses, then I won't have to worry about eating and sleeping outdoors. That's decided." Li Tanhua habitually shrugged, rubbed his hands together on his face, and secretly rejoiced.

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The Wandering Evil God (End)

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