The Secret I Cannot Tell

[The Secret I Can't Tell] [The End]
I remember when I was in middle school, a female teacher from the next class wore a completely white see-through dress while we were doing morning exercises on the playground during recess. Her full figure and black underwear were clearly visible. That image left an indelible mark on my young mind.

"Sigh!" It's Sunday again, such a lazy day. My wife is a primary school teacher, and she doesn't get a day off even on Sundays, leaving me alone at home. But that's fine; less nagging, it feels like I've been released from prison.

Today is a special day, February 22nd is my wedding anniversary with my wife, so last night I specially sent my little rascal to my mother's to look after, leaving just the two of us for some alone time today.

"What should I do to please her?"

I've been thinking about this question ever since lunch. A thought suddenly struck me. My wife had been saying she wanted to clean out the attic for our son to play in, but she'd been too busy to find the time. So, I decided to give it a try. I put on my usual cycling goggles, a medical mask from work, rubber gloves, and even a white coat—fully armed like a mad scientist—and set off for the long-unused attic.

After two hours of hard work, I finally achieved some success. I'd extinguished the dust and debris, thrown away what needed to be thrown away, and kept what needed to be kept. Just as I was about to return home, I spotted a glittering little gold lock among the pile of trash.

Curious, I approached it, like a treasure hunter, a strange excitement welling up inside me.

"It's it!"

This wasn't just an ordinary gold lock; it was a diary with a lock on it. It contained all my innocent childhood memories.

I couldn't wait to forcefully break the seemingly unbreakable lock that held me back, unlocking the secrets of my childhood that I could never tell anyone: "[Date], Sky: I remember in kindergarten, I saw Li's penis; it was different from mine.

[Date], Sky: Kindergarten. Another time, I kissed each other's penises in bed with an unknown girl, and we even touched each other's anuses.

[Date], Sky: Today, the adults weren't home, and the girl from across the street came over to play doctor and patient with me. I agreed; she was the doctor, and I was the patient. We took off our clothes, and she played with my penis. I wanted to play with hers too, but I couldn't find it, and I cried.

[Date], Rain: Invincible! Long live the King! Today I became King and married all the girls in my class as my concubines."

[Date] 199x. Sunny, excited! Today, Dad's colleague came looking for a videotape. He searched everywhere but couldn't find it. Before leaving, I remembered one Dad always kept on the wardrobe, so I took it down and showed it to the uncle. The picture was very unusual; I didn't understand it. The uncle said it was a science film and then left. I continued playing my game console, but suddenly realized something was wrong, so I found the tape again. This time I understood. It was two naked foreign adults, a man and a woman, and the woman was sucking the man's penis. Because it was a close-up shot, and I'd never seen anything like it before, I hadn't noticed it before. I was so scared, so nervous, so excited; my heart was pounding. Thinking about it now, I still want to watch it again tomorrow…”

I skimmed through it and found quite a few erotic, silly, and embarrassing things. My heart, which hadn't stirred in years, was slightly excited. The thin diary was almost to its last page. Here it is: [Date] 199x.

Sunny, but my mood is so gloomy. I moved, I transferred schools, I died.

Looking at the wildly cursive handwriting in pencil, memories long buried in my mind resurfaced. Around that time, my dad's workplace allocated new apartments, and our family moved again.

Leaving that old one-and-a-half-room apartment, leaving my alma mater where I'd studied for over a year, and leaving my friends, I became a transfer student in Class 2, Grade 2 of a high school very close to my new home.

I never imagined I'd be a transfer student. Looking at the room full of strange kids, I felt like crying. My once lively personality suddenly turned into a silent lamb.

I ignored everyone, disliked everyone, didn't want to talk to them, didn't want any contact with them, and naturally, no one wanted to play with me.

My new homeroom teacher was a very serious-looking middle-aged woman, surnamed Zhang, but I can't remember her given name—maybe Zhang Min! Hehe! She was probably close to 170cm tall, or maybe she seemed tall to me when I was thin. She wasn't actually that tall, but she was definitely broad-shouldered and thick-waisted. Now I think she was probably a woman of average height with a fuller figure.

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