Servility 1-4 Complete

I. Childhood Memories
Everyone has some unforgettable memories, but my memories from when I was six years old are the most unique and unforgettable. First of all
, my personality was greatly affected. From then on, I began to become self-conscious, weak, timid, and cautious.
In family relationships, he was extremely submissive to his wife, accepting everything she did. At first, his wife thought he was
a good person, but as time went on, she gradually came to regard him as a cheapskate, looked down on him from the bottom of her heart, and tried
every means to humiliate him.
I always seemed indifferent, as if I could endure anything, which left me with almost no status at home.
More importantly, it affected my sexual orientation. This experience instilled in me an incurable masochistic foot fetish. I only felt sexually aroused, incredibly excited, and experienced the pleasure of orgasm
when I fantasized about submitting to women's tyranny and shamelessly licking their feet .
Although sex is only a small part of life, I think it is the most crucial. It is because of
my masochistic foot fetish in terms of sexual orientation that I have the aforementioned personality defects, which have led to my failures in various aspects of life,
love, and career.
Perhaps I shouldn't attribute all the blame to that childhood experience; it might be
related to my innate nature. But I still believe that childhood experience was indeed very special. If it weren't for that
unforgettable experience, that deep-seated servility hidden in my consciousness might not have surfaced and ruined my life
.
When I was six years old, my family lived in a small county town. I had a younger sister named Jingjing, who was one year younger than me, and Weiwei
, who was two years older than me. I also had an older sister named Lili, who was two years older than Weiwei. We all lived in the same compound.
Both families had one son and one daughter, but there was a significant difference between my siblings and Lily and her brother, a difference
stemming from their family backgrounds. Lily's father was the factory secretary, and her mother was a department head in the education bureau, so
their family was very well-off. In contrast, my mother mended shoes at the gate of the compound, and my father had also
worked in the factory but had been fired. Therefore, our family was very poor, practically destitute.
My family was a poverty alleviation beneficiary of Lily's parents. Jingjing and I wore clothes that Weiwei and Lily didn't want anymore
. Therefore, our family has always been grateful to Lily's family. Every year during the Lunar New Year, we would visit Lily's family to pay our respects. My
memories of this started in the winter when I was six years old.
That year's Lunar New Year's Eve seemed particularly cold. When I entered Lily's house, they had already started clearing the table.
When I saw Lily's mother sweeping the chicken bones and fish bones on the table into the dustpan, my eyes widened in astonishment.
Just then I heard a string of sweet laughter. Looking in the direction of the sound, I saw Lily wearing a new white sweater
and bare feet, sitting on a large sofa watching TV. Weiwei and a
girl I had never seen before, about the same age as Lily, were also sitting on the sofa watching TV. Later I learned that this girl was Lily's cousin, Yuanyuan.
Looking at Lily and her brother, dressed smartly, and then at my
sister and me, wearing their old clothes, socks, and shoes that didn't fit, I felt a sense of inferiority for the first time in my life.
When I looked at Lily again, noticing the slightly disdainful look she gave my sister and me, I involuntarily
lowered my head. But my eyes were unconsciously drawn to Lily's snow-white bare feet. Suddenly, I thought those bare feet were so beautiful,
as if they had some kind of magic, making me feel numb all over as if I had taken some kind of drug.
"What are you looking at? Hurry up and wish your uncle and aunt a Happy New Year! What did I just tell you at home?"
I looked up at my father blankly, but he gestured for me and Jingjing
to kneel down and kowtow to Lily's parents, who were busy clearing the table. He chuckled and said, "These two little rascals haven't even had a chance to eat before they're eager for me to bring
them to wish you a Happy New Year. Hurry up and kowtow! Don't stop until your uncle and aunt tell you to. Keep kowtowing
until they give you lucky money."
My sister and I hurriedly knelt down and kowtowed to Lily's parents. Only then did Lily's parents put down what they were doing and sit down
to accept our New Year's greetings. The moment I raised my head after kowtowing, I noticed
a look of disdain and arrogance in Lily's mother's eyes. This look, combined with her swaying legs sticking out in front of me
, perfectly illustrated her thoughts. We had come to offer New Year's greetings with a purpose: to get a good meal and some
old clothes, socks, and shoes that her family was going to throw away as a reward. In other words, we had come to beg,
and therefore, as the giver, she was entitled to accept our kneeling and worship.
But instead of feeling any aversion to her contemptuous attitude, I felt even more apprehensive.
When I looked up, I dared not look at her face anymore, but instead watched her
feet, which were swaying in red plastic slippers, as she respectfully kowtowed in front of me.
At that moment, I felt a strange longing and awe for Lily's mother's feet deep in my heart. It was
as if I wasn't bowing my head for the New Year's greeting, but simply for that foot in a red slipper perched on my head. Just then,
her cold and sarcastic voice rang out above my sister and me: "I think it's not just them who didn't eat, you
didn't eat either, did you? There are still a few plates of leftovers that we don't know what to do with. We never eat leftovers in our family,
and we don't have any cats or dogs that eat leftovers. It's perfect that you're here. Jianjian, get up quickly, or
the leftovers will get cold. Go and eat."
"Alright, alright, what are you saying? Zhiqiang! You're not angry, are you?" Lily's dad
said with a smile.
"No, no, how could I be angry with my sister-in-law? She's just flattering us. We should be thanking her."
Lily's mother's words were meant to be extremely humiliating, but her father didn't care at all.
"Okay, alright, you've kowtowed so many times and you still won't stop. Looks like I have to give you some New Year's money, haha!"
說著莉莉爸掏出兩張十塊的分給我和妹妹，我們這才說了聲謝謝站起來。
莉莉媽這時卻看都不看我們，站起來用那種傲慢尖酸的語氣向父親交待：
「剛才我已經把餐桌收拾乾淨了，我可不想再被弄髒，把剩飯都挪到凳子上吃吧，
吃完後把地下收拾乾淨就行了，我現在給你們收拾我家的舊衣服爛襪子去！」
說完她便徑直向裡屋走去，我迷惘的眼神此時卻直勾勾地跟隨著莉莉媽的腳，
看著她的圓潤的腳後跟和擡腳那一瞬間露出的雪白的腳底板，直到它們一步步遠
去消失在視線裡，我才悵然若失地擡起頭。
父親這時已迫不及待地拿出一根沒啃乾淨的雞腿骨塞進嘴裡，並邊唆骨頭邊
將幾張凳子拼到一起，將桌上幾盤沒吃完的雞鴨魚肉都移到上面，順手從剩菜盤
子裡拿出兩雙用過的筷子交給我和妹妹，讓我和妹妹放開了吃。
我和妹妹這才蹲在地上開始吃起來，雖然是剩飯，但卻都是我以前從未吃過
的美味，我甚至不敢相信世間會有這麼好吃的東西，像父親一樣將每一根骨頭都
唆的乾乾淨淨。
我和父親唆骨頭的響亮的聲音和狼狽的吃像使坐在沙發上看電視的莉莉等人
不斷哈哈大笑，連精彩的春節晚會也顧不上看了。
吃完後，父親讓我和靜靜幫他打掃衛生，我們把莉莉家的地收拾的乾乾淨淨。
剛想隨父親走的時候，莉莉說話了：「媽媽，讓他們兩個留下陪我們玩！」
莉莉媽看著我和靜靜的眼神雖然仍是充滿反感和鄙夷，但最終還是拗不過莉
莉和偉偉，無奈的說道：「好吧，既然大年三十孩子們高興，就讓他們留在這裡
玩吧，你先回吧！」
父親高興地回家去了，莉莉、偉偉和圓圓就帶我去裡面一間房子裡玩遊戲，
進屋後莉莉提議玩摸瞎子：「如果蒙上毛巾三分鐘摸不到別人的話，就得給別人
當一分鐘的馬，好不好？」
接下來莉莉把毛巾蒙在了自己臉上，很快就抓住偉偉，而偉偉很快又抓住了
圓圓，圓圓很快抓住了我，但我戴上眼罩後就徹底摸不著方向了，三分鐘後，莉
莉喊時間到了，接著我除下了毛巾，模糊中莉莉笑眯眯地看著我說道：「好吧，
趴在地下！」
我依言四肢著地趴在地上。
「不對，要這樣，膝蓋跪到地上，這樣穩一點，好，就這樣！我可要騎馬了！」
我感覺一個熱乎乎軟綿綿同時卻重重的屁股坐在了我背上。
「好了，我坐好了，駕！」莉莉甜甜的聲音吆喝道。
由於莉莉比我大四歲，個子也比我高一大截，所以我幾乎被壓的趴在地下，
更別說往前爬了，莉莉看我動不了，鄙夷地說道：「咦，怎麼了，摸瞎子不會摸，
連當馬也當不好呀，真沒用，快爬，爬呀。」
為了不讓莉莉瞧不起我，覺得我沒用，我只好咬著牙強撐著往前爬。膝蓋跪
的生疼，但爬了幾步後就又爬不動了。
「幹什麼吃的呀？沒用的東西，飯桶，連當馬都當不好！」莉莉生氣地罵道，
在我身上坐了幾秒鐘後，莉莉很快想到了騎馬的新玩法。
「偉偉，去把臉盆下壓的那條毛巾來。」
很快，偉偉拿了條髒毛巾過來。莉莉高興地命我張開嘴，讓我咬住毛巾的中
間部分，她兩腿夾著我的脖子，兩手提著毛巾兩頭，像提著馬韁繩一樣騎著我，
讓我在地上爬。
我感覺這下輕鬆多了，只是嘴裡的毛巾有股鹹鹹的怪怪的味道。
遊戲就這樣進行下去了，我和妹妹總是摸不到她們，因此輪流給她們姐弟三
人當馬騎，我們玩的很開心，當五歲的靜靜細小的脖子被胖圓圓雙腿夾在大屁股
下，跪在地上挪動著弱小的身子艱難的爬時，我被靜靜笨拙的動作逗的捧腹大笑，
當我被她們騎時靜靜也笑的同樣開心。
說真的，當時我和妹妹除了開心外並沒有別的任何感受。而且我發現靜靜好
像比較喜歡被偉偉騎，當莉莉和圓圓要騎她的時候她會嘟著嘴滿臉不情願，而偉
偉騎她時，她就會很開心，主動趴在地下張開嘴，等著偉偉把毛巾塞進她嘴裡。
玩了好一會兒後，我和靜靜的膝蓋都疼的粘不了地了，這時笨拙的我才總算
發現莉莉玩的小把戲，原來她給我和靜靜蒙毛巾的時候總是系的緊緊的，而給她
們姐弟三人系的時候卻總留著一條縫，稍一擡頭就可以看見別人藏在哪裡，因此
她們每次都能準確無誤地很快抓住我和靜靜，然後隨心所欲地把我和靜靜騎在跨
下當馬騎。
莉莉三姐弟確實玩的很開心，對她們來說騎馬可能並不是最開心的事，最讓
她們開心的事是我們兄妹倆一直在被她們愚弄戲耍在手底胯下，還笑的如此開心。
因此當我揭穿莉莉的小把戲後，莉莉姐弟三人幾乎把眼淚都笑出來了，我和靜靜
卻一點都不生氣，也傻乎乎地看著她們笑。
這時莉莉的母親進來了：「偉偉，咱家的擦腳布呢？我和你爸洗腳呢，喲，
在這兒呢，你們真是，玩什麼不好玩擦腳布，不嫌臭呀？」
聽到這話，她們三個人笑的更厲害了，我這才知道，原來剛才莉莉讓我和妹
妹塞在嘴裡當馬韁繩的是她家的擦腳布，我說怎麼塞在嘴裡時覺得味道怪怪的，
聞著還有一股說不出感覺的臭味。
想到此處，我卻並沒有產生被愚弄後應有的氣憤，反而將目光呆呆地移到莉
莉媽穿著紅拖鞋的腳上，她白晳豐腴的腳顯然剛洗過，腳趾和腳腕處還粘著晶瑩
的水滴，看到這雙性感高貴的腳時我心頭一熱，臉一下子紅到了耳根，這時嘴裡
除了擦腳布上原有的臭味外，更多了一種說不出的酸酸的滋味，同時分泌了大量
口水，那感覺好像眼前這雙高貴的腳一下子塞進了我嘴裡一樣。
「咦，笑什麼呢？什麼事那麼開心？拿來，你們三個也快點出來洗腳，洗完
腳趕快睡覺了，這都幾點了？」說著，莉莉媽從莉莉手裡拿走擦腳布，走出屋子。
我這才意識到自己的失態，忙咕嘟一聲嚥下嘴裡大量的口水，擡起頭看莉莉
她們，她們早笑的抱作一團了，妹妹卻傻傻地站在一旁跟著傻笑。
我也看著莉莉美麗而調皮的眼睛傻傻地笑了起來，莉莉笑的上氣不接下氣地
道：「哈哈，剛才眼睛直勾勾的盯著我媽的腳幹嘛呢？看完後還這樣……」說著
她學著我剛才嚥口水的樣子，誇張地粳著脖子大聲地嚥了一下口水，笑著說：
「哈哈，不會吧？你看著我媽的腳都會流口水呢，想吃呀？怎麼？我家的擦腳布
味道不錯吧？告訴我什麼味？嗯，香還是臭呀？說話呀？肯定是香的對吧？要不
你怎麼會……」說著她哈哈大笑起來。
我臉紅的無地自容，將頭低的低低的，眼神卻不由移到了莉莉穿著黃色拖鞋
的腳上，剛想移開視線時，莉莉卻突然把腳從拖鞋裡拿了出來，我的眼神突然被
這雙瑩白如玉小巧玲瓏的赤腳牢牢勾住，頭腦裡一片茫然，口水又大量分泌了出
來，幾秒鐘後才回過神來。
我臉紅心跳地將眼神戀戀不捨地從莉莉腳上挪開，嘴裡的口水卻不敢吞下去，
害怕再次被莉莉恥笑。
莉莉此時卻更笑的更大聲：「哈哈，看到我的腳是不是又流了好多口水？說
話呀，你喜歡我的腳嘛，你喜歡吃我家的擦腳布嘛，味道是不是很好呀，說呀說
呀，不敢說呀，還是怕一張嘴口水從嘴裡流出來？」說著莉莉突然一手按著我的
頭，一手捏住我的嘴角說道：「快張嘴，讓我看看是不是流了好多口水！快張嘴！」
我悴不及防，被莉莉一捏就不自覺地張開了嘴，一股口水刷地一下流出來，
拉了長長一串掉在了地上。
莉莉姐弟三人再次哈哈大笑起來，靜靜此時好像也感覺到不對勁，不再跟她
們一起傻笑，只是呆呆地看著我們。
「喂，你們完了沒有？趕快出來洗腳。」莉莉媽媽喊道。
「噢，來了。」莉莉高聲應道，接著她又小聲對我說：「先在這裡等會兒，
我們馬上回來給你糖吃。」
我的思維馬上從剛才的事裡解脫出來，滿腦子幻想著上海的高級奶糖。過了
十分鐘左右，莉莉三姐弟穿著拖鞋回來了，莉莉高興地把一大把花花綠綠的糖果
撒在床上，我剛想拿時莉莉卻說道：「怎麼，想吃糖呀，哪有那麼容易，這些糖
可是從上海買來的，想不想吃呀？」
我和妹妹忙不叠點頭說想吃。
「哈哈，那好，有個條件，你再把擦腳布含在嘴裡一分鐘，我就把這些糖給
你。」說著莉莉把床上的糖分成兩半，指著另一半對靜靜說道：「你也想吃是吧，
你把圓圓姐姐的襪子含在嘴裡一分鐘，我就把這些糖給你，好不好？」
我和妹妹嘴裡流著口水，看著那些糖堅定地點了點頭。
「哈哈，那好，張嘴吧，一分鐘後，這些好吃的糖果就是你們的了！來，張
嘴，我來給健健弟弟喂我們家的擦腳布吃，圓圓姐姐給靜靜妹妹喂襪子吃。」
我張大了嘴巴，莉莉把那條剛用過的濕濕的擦腳布團成一團，往我嘴裡使勁
塞，很快我小小的嘴就被塞滿了，但還有很多擦腳布留在嘴外面，莉莉還使勁往
我嘴裡填，直到我的腮幫子鼓鼓的莉莉才罷手。
頓時，我的嘴裡充滿了擦腳布的味道，而且這次上面的腳味更大，因為莉莉
一家四口還有圓圓五人剛用這條擦腳布擦過腳。
而與此同時，圓圓已將剛才洗腳時才脫下的兩隻黃色的腳底有點發黑的髒棉
襪塞進了靜靜嘴裡，圓圓應該是汗腳，剛才玩遊戲她騎我的時候我就聞到她腳上
有股腳臭味，相比之下她的髒襪子一定比擦腳布臭很多，真不知道妹妹是怎麼忍
受的。
我扭頭看了看可憐的妹妹，發現她嘴角還露出一截黃色的襪口，腮幫子脹鼓
鼓地小臉脹的通紅，看到我嘴裡還露出一大塊擦腳布時，她的表情變得非常自豪，
伸手拚命把留在嘴巴外的那一小截襪口也塞進嘴裡緊緊含住。
「哈哈，靜靜，你真厲害，比你哥哥強多了，看你嘴巴那麼小，還能把圓圓
姐姐的兩隻臭襪子吃到嘴裡，你真棒。圓圓姐姐的襪子可臭了，對吧？不過你喜
歡吃圓圓姐姐的臭襪子我們就都會喜歡你，你說，你喜歡吃圓圓姐姐的臭襪子嗎？」
妹妹堅定地點了點了頭，嘴裡發出唔唔的聲音。
「嗯，我們最喜歡靜靜妹妹了，圓圓姐姐的臭襪子好吃嘛！」
妹妹再次堅定地點頭。
「哈哈，再看看你，當哥哥的還不如妹妹，怎麼樣，我家的擦腳布味道好嗎？
快回答呀。」
我忙點頭，並發出唔唔聲表示好吃。
「那你喜不喜歡吃我家的擦腳布呀？」
我再次點頭。
「哈哈，瞧瞧，原來他喜歡吃我們家的擦腳布呀，怎麼樣，現在這個擦腳布
比剛才的好吃多了吧？剛才吃的擦腳布是昨天用過的，都幹了，現在的可是剛被
我爸，我媽，圓圓姐，還有我和偉偉我們五個人用過，怎麼樣，味道好吃嗎？是
不是很香呀？」
我連連點頭，怕到了嘴邊的糖果又飛了。
「哈哈，瞧瞧，看來他們倆喜歡我們家人的腳呀，要不怎麼一塊破擦腳布他
都會覺得那麼香呀，哈哈，笑死人了！」
莉莉和圓圓這才掏出我嘴裡的擦腳布和靜靜嘴裡的襪子，把糖果給我們讓我
們回家了，回家後妹妹嘴裡含著糖很快就上床睡了，而我腦子裡卻一直想著莉莉
媽和莉莉的腳，還有那股擦腳布的臭味，過了好一會兒才睡著。
當夜，我做了一個夢，夢見我跪在莉莉媽媽腳下，親吻她穿著紅塑料拖鞋的
腳背，親著親著，這只大腳又突然變成了莉莉的小腳，我猛地擡起頭一看，莉莉
正壞壞地朝我笑，突然，莉莉的臉又變成了她媽媽的臉，正高傲地冷冰冰地俯視
著我，我嚇得忙俯下臉去親她的腳。
這時我突覺胯下一熱，睜開眼睛後才發現，我尿床了。
Ever since I visited Lily's house for the New Year, my young heart has been filled with longing. I began to yearn for
everything about Lily's family. I even considered everything that happened that night as wonderful, including
kowtowing to Lily's parents, being tricked into riding them like horses during games, and Lily mischievously stuffing a foot-drying cloth into my mouth.
I found all of these things incredibly beautiful. Especially after that day, the beautiful feet of Lily and her mother, as well as
the smell of their foot-drying cloth, were deeply imprinted in my mind. From then on, I felt that Lily's house was heaven, and Lily
and her family were angels in heaven.
However, just a few days later, Lily's family moved to a place I didn't know because of her parents' job transfer. It
was truly a cruel twist of fate. Just when I had sweet dreams in my heart, the cold reality quickly and
ruthlessly shattered them all.
From then on, the beautiful feet of Lily and her daughter, and the smell of their foot-rubbing cloths, became the most
unforgettable memories in my mind, constantly popping up in my fantasies or dreams to confuse my mind.

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