A slave for life

Chapter One: The Unspeakable Secret.

The story needs to be told slowly. Many novels are simply the author's vivid imagination, but I guarantee that over 80% of this story is true! I may have added some minor embellishments for plot and dramatic effect, but please don't treat this as a novel. Consider it my memoir!

The story begins with an unspeakable secret of mine, which dates back ten years or even longer. But the secret is actually quite simple: I've always had cuckolding tendencies—I'm a typical cuckold!

I'm 185cm tall, have good looks, and professional-level singing skills, making me quite popular with girls. But what they don't know is that beneath these external attributes that many men envy and resent, resides a humble soul! The reason is simple: my penis is small.

Hmm… When I'm erect, it's about ten centimeters, maybe even less… When I'm flaccid, it's neither as long nor as thick as my thumb… Maybe

it's because of this congenital defect, but slowly it evolved from a sense of inferiority into an admiration for big dicks? I feel like I'm not worthy of having sex with women, only muscular men with big dicks are worthy of manipulating women! A few years ago, I saw a muscular man with a big dick at a bathhouse and almost knelt down to him on the spot. I don't know what came over me… but I just wanted to lick his feet, thinking that kind of man was a winner in life… Let me make it clear, I'm not gay, absolutely not! Since then, I've never been to a public bathhouse again, because I'm afraid I really wouldn't be able to resist kneeling down on the spot...

My wife, Tingting, and I met in college. She's 172cm tall and weighs 50kg, which makes her look tall and slender, but her round and high C-cup breasts make her look so well-endowed, not to mention her long legs that I could play with for countless years!

I don't want to exaggerate how many people consider my wife their goddess, but during her years in college, whenever there were events to elect campus beauties or department beauties, she was always one of the candidates. The reason we met was quite ordinary. She was a member of the school's arts and culture department, and I was a contestant representing the physics department in the school's singing competition. She fell for my looks and talent, hehe...

Our first time together ended very hastily. I was a virgin, and she had never been in a relationship before. Two newbies like us couldn't even find the right spot at the beginning! After a lot of trial and error, we finally got it right. Because of my excessive excitement and the initial reckless thrusting, I ejaculated as soon as I penetrated her. Tingting, because of the pain of her first time, didn't experience any pleasure from sex...

That time was actually a big blow to me. Before, I just thought I had a small penis, but I didn't expect that I also had premature ejaculation! Yes, it's premature ejaculation... Even the first time, very few people ejaculate right after penetration... I even indirectly asked my roommates about their first time, some said five minutes, some said ten minutes... Well, the trauma of my first time still affects me to this day...

In the following years at school, we would go out to a hotel every week, and I almost never lasted more than ten minutes... Maybe it's because Tingting has never been with anyone else, or maybe it's because she has never had an orgasm, she doesn't have that much need in this area. On the contrary, it was me who kept wanting it. It wasn't that I had such a strong sex drive, but I kept trying to prove that I wasn't a loser. But in the end, I became more and more certain that I really was a loser.

Then I started to frantically read erotic novels about humiliating girlfriends and cuckolding wives. I only watched NTR-themed porn. I fantasized that one day my wife would be fucked by a big-dicked hunky man, and be fucked to orgasm in front of me, and squirt! I forgot to mention that my wife is a bit of a germaphobe, so she strongly resists using sex toys or fingers to penetrate her vagina, even just stimulating her clitoris. So for all these years, I've only used my penis and tongue to serve her...

When we were about to graduate from college, we both passed the civil service exam in the same city, which is also my hometown. The issues of housing and cars had already been resolved, so we were truly settled. Naturally, we started to consider getting married. During that time, I was really troubled. My cuckoldry fantasies became increasingly severe, to the point that I started to lose all interest in her and preferred to fantasize and masturbate while reading novels and watching movies…

This problem once drove me to the brink of collapse. Later, I anonymously asked this question on Zhihu, and one person's answer influenced my entire life… I still clearly remember every word of his answer. He said that since you truly love her, you should be completely open with her. Hiding such things from her is actually unfair to her.

If she truly loves you, then she will love everything about you, even things that ordinary people cannot understand! After considering it for two days, I finally decided to tell her my secret, without holding anything back...

I still remember the shocked look on her face after hearing my confession, and the two of us remained silent for a long time... Later, she whispered, "Actually, you don't need to worry about it. Sex isn't everything between two people. I'm happy with you even if we don't have sex. Besides, sex isn't really as pleasurable as you say..." Hearing her say that, I still felt a little guilty. I always felt that because of my limitations, I hadn't been able to give her real pleasure. I told her, "Actually, you've never truly experienced the pleasure of sex. You've never even had an orgasm, so how would you understand that feeling? You can try it once, and if you don't like it, we'll never do it again!" Tingting went to bed very late that night and didn't give me a definite answer...

The days that followed were the same as before, as if nothing had happened. It's just that my mind became more twisted, and it even affected my physical health... Although I'm no longer a virgin, I lack stamina during sex, but I have no problem getting an erection, and I can last for seven or eight minutes without any problem. But I don't know if it was because I broke that barrier that I became even more desperate for someone to have sex with my wife, to the point that my mentality became so twisted that I had difficulty getting an erection even when having sex with her...

Every time, I would masturbate in various ways, and when I finally got an erection, I would ejaculate after only a couple of thrusts... Finally, one time after I ejaculated, Tingting said to me, "Give me another lick..." I

was really excited at that moment because I knew that she was starting to feel sexually unsatisfied, and my wish might really have a chance to come true! I remember that day when I gave her oral sex, she screamed especially loudly...

And a few days later, when I asked her again about wanting to find a single man to have sex with her, she actually fell silent! I knew I had really succeeded. Perhaps it was her girlish modesty, or perhaps she was still in the process of rebuilding her worldview, but she didn't openly admit that she had agreed to my proposal. She just quietly cooperated while I posted on the forum to recruit single men for her…

Since it was our first time, we were very cautious. I would chat with each guy we felt good about for many days to test his character and such. Of course, I would also have them send pictures of their penises and bodies to my wife. My wife would often blush when she saw them, and then she would become much more wanton during sex.

In the end, we set our sights on a student in our university town, let's call him Xiao Chen. Xiao Chen is a male student majoring in physical education. He's 190cm tall and has a muscular build that isn't overly explosive; his proportions are relatively soft, and he's quite handsome.

My wife had video-chatted with him once before, but because she's shy, she didn't turn on the camera. She just watched Xiao Chen masturbate in front of her nude photos on the other end of the computer. I've never seen my wife blush like that before…

Out-of-town university students in our city were our first choice, and considering all the other factors, we ultimately chose him. The agreed-upon time was that Saturday!

Chapter One: The Unspeakable Secret.

The story needs to be told slowly. Many novels may be just the author's wonderful fantasy, but I guarantee that over 80% of this novel is based on true events! I might add some minor embellishments for the sake of plot and drama, but please don't treat my writing as a novel. Well… consider it my memoir!

The story begins with a secret I can't tell anyone, a secret that dates back ten years or even longer. But the secret is actually quite simple: I've always had cuckolding tendencies; I'm a typical cuckold!

I'm 185cm tall, with good looks and professional singing skills, making me quite popular with girls. But what they don't know is that beneath these enviable physical attributes reside a humble soul! The reason is simple: my penis is small.

Hmm… when erect, it's about ten centimeters, maybe even less… when flaccid, it's smaller than a thumb in both length and thickness… Perhaps

due to this inherent flaw, a sense of inferiority gradually evolved into a worship of large penises? I felt unworthy to have sex with women; only muscular men with large penises were fit to manipulate women at will! A few years ago, I saw a muscular man with a huge penis at a public bathhouse and almost knelt down on the spot. I don't know what came over me... but I just wanted to lick his feet. I felt that kind of man was the real winner in life... Let me make it clear, I'm not gay, absolutely not! Since then, I've never been to a public bathhouse again, because I'm afraid I really wouldn't be able to resist kneeling down on the spot...

My wife, Tingting, and I met in college. She's 172cm tall and weighs 50kg, which makes her look tall and slender, but her round and high C-cup breasts make her look so well-endowed, not to mention her long legs that I could play with for years!

I don't want to exaggerate how many people consider my wife their goddess, but during her college years, whenever there was an event to elect the most beautiful girl in the school or department, she was always one of the candidates. The reason we met was quite ordinary. She was a member of the school's arts and culture department, and I was a contestant representing the physics department in the school's singing competition. She fell for my looks and talent, hehe...

Our first time together ended very hastily. I was a virgin, and she had never been in a relationship before. Two newbies like us couldn't even find the right spot at the beginning! After a lot of trial and error, we finally got it right. Because of my excessive excitement and the initial reckless thrusting, I ejaculated as soon as I penetrated her. Tingting, because of the pain of her first time, didn't experience any pleasure from sex...

That time was actually a big blow to me. Before, I just thought I had a small penis, but I didn't expect that I also had premature ejaculation! Yes, it's premature ejaculation... Even the first time, very few people ejaculate right after penetration... I even indirectly asked my roommates about their first time, some said five minutes, some said ten minutes... Well, the trauma of my first time still affects me to this day...

In the following years at school, we would go out to a hotel every week, and I almost never lasted more than ten minutes... Maybe it's because Tingting has never been with anyone else, or maybe it's because she has never had an orgasm, she doesn't have that much need in this area. On the contrary, it was me who kept wanting it. It wasn't that I had such a strong sex drive, but I kept trying to prove that I wasn't a loser. But in the end, I became more and more certain that I really was a loser.

Then I started to frantically read erotic novels about humiliating girlfriends and cuckolding wives. I only watched NTR-themed porn. I fantasized that one day my wife would be fucked by a big-dicked hunky man, and be fucked to orgasm in front of me, and squirt! I forgot to mention that my wife is a bit of a germaphobe, so she strongly resists using sex toys or fingers to penetrate her vagina, even just stimulating her clitoris. So for all these years, I've only used my penis and tongue to serve her...

When we were about to graduate from college, we both passed the civil service exam in the same city, which is also my hometown. The issues of housing and cars had already been resolved, so we were truly settled. Naturally, we started to consider getting married. During that time, I was really troubled. My cuckoldry fantasies became increasingly severe, to the point that I started to lose all interest in her and preferred to fantasize and masturbate while reading novels and watching movies…

This problem once drove me to the brink of collapse. Later, I anonymously asked this question on Zhihu, and one person's answer influenced my entire life… I still clearly remember every word of his answer. He said that since you truly love her, you should be completely open with her. Hiding such things from her is actually unfair to her.

If she truly loves you, then she will love everything about you, even things that ordinary people cannot understand! After considering it for two days, I finally decided to tell her my secret, without holding anything back...

I still remember the shocked look on her face after hearing my confession, and the two of us remained silent for a long time... Later, she whispered, "Actually, you don't need to worry about it. Sex isn't everything between two people. I'm happy with you even if we don't have sex. Besides, sex isn't really as pleasurable as you say..." Hearing her say that, I still felt a little guilty. I always felt that because of my limitations, I hadn't been able to give her real pleasure. I told her, "Actually, you've never truly experienced the pleasure of sex. You've never even had an orgasm, so how would you understand that feeling? You can try it once, and if you don't like it, we'll never do it again!" Tingting went to bed very late that night and didn't give me a definite answer...

The days that followed were the same as before, as if nothing had happened. It's just that my mind became more twisted, and it even affected my physical health... Although I'm no longer a virgin, I lack stamina during sex, but I have no problem getting an erection, and I can last for seven or eight minutes without any problem. But I don't know if it was because I broke that barrier that I became even more desperate for someone to have sex with my wife, to the point that my mentality became so twisted that I had difficulty getting an erection even when having sex with her...

Every time, I would masturbate in various ways, and when I finally got an erection, I would ejaculate after only a couple of thrusts... Finally, one time after I ejaculated, Tingting said to me, "Give me another lick..." I

was really excited at that moment because I knew that she was starting to feel sexually unsatisfied, and my wish might really have a chance to come true! I remember that day when I gave her oral sex, she screamed especially loudly...

And a few days later, when I asked her again about wanting to find a single man to have sex with her, she actually fell silent! I knew I had really succeeded. Perhaps it was her girlish modesty, or perhaps she was still in the process of rebuilding her worldview, but she didn't openly admit that she had agreed to my proposal. She just quietly cooperated while I posted on the forum to recruit single men for her…

Since it was our first time, we were very cautious. I would chat with each guy we felt good about for many days to test his character and such. Of course, I would also have them send pictures of their penises and bodies to my wife. My wife would often blush when she saw them, and then she would become much more wanton during sex.

In the end, we set our sights on a student in our university town, let's call him Xiao Chen. Xiao Chen is a male student majoring in physical education. He's 190cm tall and has a muscular build that isn't overly explosive; his proportions are relatively soft. He's also quite handsome.

My wife had video-chatted with him once before, but because she's shy, she didn't turn on the camera. She just watched Xiao Chen masturbate in front of her nude photos on the other end of the computer. I've never seen my wife blush like that before…

Out-of-town university students in our city were our first choice, and considering all the other factors, we ultimately chose him. The date we arranged was that Saturday!

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A slave for life

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