Roughness can also make people drunk.

Mutually engaging sex leaves behind beautiful memories and

can enhance your future marital life. However, rough and violent sexual contact can cast a long shadow over your future sex life, becoming the root of disharmony or sexual dysfunction in the relationship.

One woman shared her experience: "I married my current husband five years ago. At that time, I was an unemployed young man, and his father happened to be in charge of recruitment in the district. Through a series of twists and turns, I found him, and he readily agreed to help. From then on, we had a relationship. One day, he invited me to his house, and as soon as I entered, he locked the door. I understood his intentions, but I didn't dare to resist him, so I was taken advantage of. He was still somewhat kind-hearted; he not only helped me find a job but also married me. But deep down, I still hate him. Every time we have sex, I think of that incident, and every time I think of it, I immediately feel like I've been forced. So I accept his manipulation like a piece of wood. I thought to myself: I can't let him have too much pleasure; it's my revenge against him. As you can imagine, I've never experienced any orgasm. But now my thoughts have changed..." He's been good to me all these years of marriage, and I've started to forgive him. I've also realized that in the past, I was punishing myself while punishing him. Now I know I should change my mindset regarding sex. But I find that my sexual feelings seem lost, and I can't find them again no matter what I do. I want to know what I should do in this situation?

The first step is to assess your marital situation, that is, whether you believe your marriage has any reason to continue. If, aside from that unpleasant past and disharmony in your sex life, you feel your husband is a good person at heart, and your family life is good, then as the wife, you should try your best to forgive him from the bottom of your heart. People inevitably make mistakes; the roughness of the past may have stemmed from a momentary impulse of youth, and you shouldn't dwell on it. If you have this change in attitude, the nature of that matter will reverse, and you... You can generously forgive past grievances. At this point, most of the gloom in your heart will dissipate.

The second step is to tell your husband your true feelings. Women are generally more sensitive than men and more prone to dwelling on the past. When you tell your husband about your unhappiness, you might be surprised to find that he has already completely forgotten about it. If so, your honesty may have unexpectedly good effects. In our clinical sexual health counseling, we have found that once a husband understands the terrible consequences of the harm he caused his wife in the past, as long as he still loves her, he will feel deep remorse and will try his best to make amends in the future, including in their sex life. If he has always been domineering, he will now find that he has learned to tenderly seek his wife's opinion. Some wives will also find that their husbands spend much more time hugging and caressing before intercourse than before. After expressing her true feelings, she suddenly felt relieved, her burden lifted, and the past humiliation and pain disappeared. Clearly, approaching sex with this newfound feeling naturally replaced the previous indifference with passion.

Generally, when a woman eliminates her anxieties and receives positive cooperation from her partner, her symptoms of sexual apathy improve. After a long period of indifference and lack, a wife's libido has developed a negative response; restoring it requires a process. Expecting a dramatic change after only one or two sessions is unrealistic. In my consultations, I often advise wives like this that the key is a good start. Initially, the feeling might not be very strong, but don't worry too much or get discouraged. Since the psychological barrier has been removed, as long as you persevere and fully experience it, your libido will definitely warm up.

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Roughness can also make people drunk.

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