Give you the story you crave

I yearn for a drop of sweet dew to nourish my soul; I hope you understand my heart. My thoughts wander aimlessly, desolate and barren; I invite you to drink old wine.
If we compare the coordination of a couple's sex life to both partners investing in basic infrastructure, many people might find it far-fetched. However, while the analogy is crude, the principle is sound. Everyone knows that "it takes two to tango," and this applies not only to conflicts but also to efforts to reconcile. If one party consistently makes efforts while the other remains indifferent, even the most patient person will eventually change their mind.
Sexual harmony between husband and wife is like a partnership in a business. The most important factor in the success of this partnership is whether the input and output of both partners are roughly commensurate. No one wants to constantly lose out in a partnership, nor can they tolerate the other party always taking advantage.
However, many couples don't actually understand this simple truth. The most common mistake is that one partner often fails to notice that the other has actually put in a lot of effort to improve their sex life.
For example, one partner might prefer certain methods, while the other doesn't. When using these methods, the partner who prefers them often overlooks the fact that the other partner's mere agreement is already an investment and effort. If the partner who prefers these methods doesn't reciprocate with praise, gratitude, and thoughtfulness, the other partner will feel unappreciated, misunderstood, disrespected, and unloved. Over time, even good couples can develop some awkwardness.
For example, when both partners choose the right time to have sex, one might feel it's perfectly natural, while the other feels they're doing it against their will or paying a price. If the former doesn't understand or empathize with this, and doesn't reciprocate in other ways, the latter will feel cheated, even coerced or exploited. Over time, these small shadows accumulate, and the marriage will enter a period of hardship.
In marital sex life, mutual giving and receiving are usually unspoken and rarely expressed in words. However, this "exchange" does exist, and precisely because the one who gives will not express it, the other is more likely to overlook it and unintentionally hurt their feelings.
Many couples are ashamed to talk about sexual exchange, or even willing to understand and evaluate their sex life from an exchange perspective. But the more they do this, the less likely they are to recognize the sacrifices their partner makes for them, and the less likely they are to reciprocate accordingly, ultimately leading to disaster.
In reality, it's highly unlikely that neither husbands nor wives will give nothing in their sex lives, nor will they expect nothing in return. The crucial first step in achieving harmonious marital sex life, in the harmonious love between two mature individuals, is to clearly recognize each other's contributions and sacrifices, and to value the immense significance of those contributions to oneself. Only then can there be a mutual exchange of affection, and only then can true blissful intimacy be achieved.

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