A real-life incident in 2013

Four years ago, I was particularly averse to ***, and so was my wife. It was during our passionate courtship, and we were filled with love and curiosity for each other, but the word *** never crossed my mind.
Time flies, and former lovers have become life partners. As time goes by, their relationship has gradually transitioned into a more familial one. The passion of yesteryear has faded, and they no longer secretly kiss or hug in some corner of the city like they used to. Suddenly, they realize that these things are so easily obtained.
I remember once a professor from Nanjing was arrested for organizing some activities related to ***. My wife and I laughed and said that such a person was really unconventional. Western culture has spread so quickly here. The internet is flooded with news, movies, and pictures.
Last summer, my wife was away on a business trip and I was bored at home alone, so I joined a group on a whim. I gradually learned it was a chat group for couples. During that time, I didn't say anything, just casually looked at their discussions. Because at that time, I really didn't think I could fit in or accept this reality. My wife probably couldn't accept these things even more. After a few days, I met a friend in the group. He didn't talk much, but he always offered guidance when others were talking. We gradually started chatting like that.
After my wife came home, I didn't bring up these topics with her directly, as it might affect our relationship and I was afraid she wouldn't be able to accept it. Instead, I secretly had a friend send my wife an email and deliberately opened it when she wasn't on the computer. I slowly found a topic to discuss.
My wife and I have been together for over four years, from dating to marriage, and the initial passion has definitely faded. However, I still can't truly accept what we call "casual sex"—it's not just a physical exchange, but also a heavy emotional burden; one wrong step could lead to lifelong regret. My wife and I didn't change because of that email. The email simply allowed us to better understand the feelings and fantasies after having sex.
Such topics gradually faded from our view. Due to work, we often traveled to other places. Later, at the end of last year, because we were too tired from work, my wife and I chose to go on a week-long trip. While watching a movie in the hotel, we saw a Korean film that depicted scenes of pornography. The filming was very realistic and vivid. After watching it, my wife and I talked about this topic in bed, but she was always reluctant to discuss it in depth.
Later, it gradually evolved into me preparing some adult films for her to watch before each sexual encounter. Then I would ask her if she wanted to participate and try it. But every time we had sex, I would always fantasize about the stimulating feeling of sex, and after each time, I felt that such thoughts were too dirty. I couldn't get over this inner conflict.
Someone in the group kept giving me advice because he had been through the same thing. They'd been operating for over five years and might be too desensitized to the thrill of gambling now, so they didn't play anymore, but they still offered me guidance and advice.
This continued until June of this year. ***It took more than a year for me to go from initial rejection to acceptance of this topic. During this time, my wife often doubted whether I had lost my mind, but she gradually began to accept it. However, she considered many things, and many things were not as simple as I thought.
In the end, my wife tacitly agreed that she didn't want to accept this because she was afraid it would affect our relationship.
Based on my wife's approximate age range, physical appearance, and character/upbringing, I've discussed many options in the group and changed many photos, but I haven't found a suitable one yet...
Many people immediately ask for a bunch of photos of their daily life, even nude photos, and start the conversation like they've never met a woman before. I've blocked all these low-class people; chatting with them is pointless. They always talk about sex, and I really want to curse them out, but I don't think it's worth wasting time arguing with them.
Later, I met someone in Hangzhou. The man worked at an internet company, and the woman was a teacher. I can't disclose the specifics, but I gradually learned about these basic details after we'd known each other online for about a week. Before that, we mainly talked about personal hobbies and our marital relationships.
They were about 10 years older than us. To let my wife see the other woman's photo, I chose a time when she was in a good mood. This time, she didn't refuse, but she seemed more concerned about the other woman, saying that for my first time, she had to find someone pretty. She joked around and said a lot of things, and I just kept going.
In the virtual world of the internet, we chatted quite openly. Neither of us had ever engaged in sexual activity before; it was just a tacit understanding between spouses. Later, we both considered safety aspects, and it felt like we were almost at that point.
We lived quite far from Hangzhou, about a two-hour drive away. This exchange continued for two months until August. Before we met in Hangzhou, we were both very excited. We even said that if anything changed, we would immediately terminate the activity, fearing something might go wrong.
That day, my wife and I prepared early and arrived in Hangzhou after 4 PM. They hadn't finished get off work yet, but they had already booked a room for us to rest in.
We met at the restaurant downstairs around 6 pm. They looked exactly the same as in the photos. During the meal, we chatted about our travels and tourist attractions in Hangzhou. We didn't discuss anything about marriage, and it felt like something was missing – not the free-flowing, unrestrained conversation we have online.
After dinner, the four of us took a walk along West Lake for a while. Later, the other woman's husband suggested we go to a bar, as he happened to know someone there. I knew in my heart that having a few drinks and enjoying the atmosphere of a bar would be much better; otherwise, in a hotel, I probably would have just collapsed into bed.
We then took a taxi, which took about 15 minutes, to the bar. From the outside, it looked so-so, but inside it was a spacious area filled with various smells... Many attractive women were dancing on the sidelines. I rarely go to bars because the atmosphere is too noisy and the smoke is too strong, but this time I happily accepted it all and even enjoyed it.
I chose a bar counter, and the waiter brought me a case of beer and four bottles of red wine. Many of the snacks were also complimentary.
I chose to be with the other person's husband, and the wife with the other person's wife. We drank and chatted, which suddenly broke the calm I had felt before. Around 1 a.m., perhaps due to the alcohol, we switched places and it felt natural to be with each other's couples. We chatted, and occasionally I would hold their hands under the bar and whisper something in their ear. Gradually, the distance between us closed.
Later, when we had drunk quite a bit, we each helped the other's wife back to our own rooms, our hearts filled with all sorts of curiosity.

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A real-life incident in 2013

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