Let me talk about my experience as a single man (-)

To my shame, although I've lingered in the dating community for many years, I've always been a single man. Now, at thirty-seven or thirty-eight, not far from forty, I'll take this opportunity to recount my experiences as a single man over the years, simply as a way to remember myself.
I first entered the dating community around 2003. At that time, through some chance encounters, I browsed some dating websites. It was around that time that dating for couples began to flourish in China. I've always been averse to the two extreme interpretations of dating: one is the theory of spiritual sublimation, and the other is the theory of animal instinct. In the dating community, there are countless representatives of these two theories. Of course, everyone has their own lifestyle and interpretation of sex, and while I understand this, I absolutely do not agree with it.
What is the "spiritual sublimation" theory? It's a way of making friends that some so-called intellectual elites (in reality, there are no elites in China, only wishful thinking) use. They choose to make friends gradually, cultivating feelings, such as exchanging spouses, first becoming friends, going to parties, traveling, etc. If they're looking for a single man, the process is roughly the same: cultivating feelings with the spouse, getting to know each other. These are bizarre theories and bizarre plans. I generally choose to block friends who exhibit these behaviors. Friendships that lose their novelty are like wine that's been opened—bland and tasteless. We must acknowledge human nature's tendency to tire of the old and crave the new, and the need for distance in interpersonal relationships. I don't want to intrude on other people's lives, and similarly, others don't need to intrude on mine. Necessary safety assessments and understanding of character are necessary in making friends, but couples making friends is not the same as making friends in real life. I think intelligent people will understand this logic with a little guidance; the intelligence of these so-called elites is really questionable.
What is the "animal instinct theory"? It refers to the dating principles believed by certain social classes: blatant, without any preamble or pretense. They jump right in, discussing size and time, making it seem like a breeding operation. I won't waste any time on couples like that; I'll block them immediately.
Everyone has different goals when it comes to dating, so finding someone compatible is crucial. Of course, that's difficult.
Getting back to the point, after getting into dating, I also tried adding couples on various websites. For various reasons, nothing came of it. Single men can be eccentric, and couples are no exception. In just two years, I've encountered all sorts of bizarre couples (mainly the husbands). For example, a guy in Chengdu suggested that his wife wear a blindfold while they were doing it, so I sneaked into the room and switched places with her. Good heavens, this is bordering on criminal! There was also a guy from Hubei who demanded I follow his instructions completely, including positions, duration, and even the frequency of penetration. Respecting the husband's feelings is essential in dating, but this demand was way too much. I could only tell him, "Brother, while I'd love to date you, perhaps a gigolo would be more suitable for you, since I'm not a professional."
In most cases, in couples' dating, the husband's mindset is the deciding factor. Asking to see photos or videos first is understandable, but many go further, like requesting photos of genitals or videos to verify size. Leaving aside dignity, from a safety perspective alone, this is unacceptable. So, most dating ends here. For over two years, this was a consistent pattern. As time went on, my enthusiasm for dating cooled until the B couple from Shaanxi appeared, and my couples' dating started to get back on track.
To be continued...

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Let me talk about my experience as a single man (-)

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