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Migration of Love—The Story I Had to Tell My Son—Prologue 

"Something's really wrong! This is definitely not normal!" At 2 a.m., I suddenly sat up in bed, turned on the bedside lamp, and looked at myself in the mirror—my face flushed, my hair disheveled, and I was covered in sweat. I felt so incongruous with my lonely figure on the huge double bed, and my thoughts drifted back to the passionate, ecstatic dream I had just experienced...
I've lost count of how many times this has happened in the past two months—10 times? 20 times? Or 30 times? Lately, I've been plagued by these similar dreams! What I can't understand is that all the dreams are so identical, so embarrassing yet so impossible to let go of!
What am I searching for? What do I really want...?
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My name is Fang Yan, and I'm 36 years old. To outsiders, I have an enviable family and job. My husband, Yang Wei, is 49 years old and a ship captain. He earns a monthly salary of 150,000 yuan, and with various subsidies and benefits, he makes over 2 million yuan a year, allowing our family to live a very high-quality life. I work at the local tax bureau in our inland city. In coastal areas, local tax officials generally have better benefits than national tax officials, but in inland provinces, the national tax bureau is relatively more powerful. My job is generally easy, and the work environment is very relaxed. We have a beloved son named Yang Xiaocheng, who is 18 years old and a senior at a key high school in the city. He will take the college entrance examination next year. We are very proud of our son because he is very sensible and obedient, and his academic performance has always been among the top 10 in his grade. After the start of his senior year, his homeroom teacher told me after a parent-teacher meeting that the school was considering giving him a place in the college entrance examination... All of this makes us seem like such a happy family to outsiders!
At this point, you might be wondering, how come I, at 36, have an 18-year-old son?
Speaking of this, it's truly shameful. When I was 17, in the most dreamy and vibrant years of my youth, I met Yang Wei, who was then a sailor. He was 30 at the time, and his years overseas experience had honed his mature and steady character, which was fatal to a young girl like me. Adding to this, Zheng Zhihua's film "Sailor" was sweeping the nation, and the young and naive me was easily captivated by Yang Wei, unexpectedly becoming pregnant and giving birth to our son the following year. My family was extremely angry and opposed to this; my father even had Yang Wei beaten up, but ultimately, they used connections to let us get married and have a wedding banquet… But this also created a grudge between Yang Wei and my family, foreshadowing the more than 10 years of entanglement that followed.
Actually, our seemingly happy family isn't as harmonious as it appears. The resentment from years ago has kept Yang Wei at odds with my family since our marriage. Being fiercely protective of my family, I naturally refused to compromise, and over the years, Yang Wei and I have had our share of ups and downs and arguments. Fortunately, Yang Wei is often away at sea, and the sweetness of absence makes the home life easier. However, it's precisely because Yang Wei is frequently away that I often feel confused about our relationship. After all, a family isn't complete without a man!
Especially in the last two years, I've clearly felt changes in my body—a deep, indescribable longing, a deep longing I'm ashamed to speak of—could this be what they call "thirty like a wolf, forty like a tiger"...
Fortunately, I still have my son, my wonderful son. Yang Wei's frequent absences have fostered a habit of my son and I relying on each other for survival. My son has become the sole focus of my life. Whenever I see his handsome and youthful face, I can't help but reach out and gently stroke it. My dear son, you are my warmest harbor.
I don't know if it's because I'm naturally beautiful, as others say, or because I started taking care of myself consciously when I was 25, or because I started practicing yoga when I was 22, but my figure is still perfect and my skin doesn't look like I'm 36 at all. Sometimes when I go shopping with my son, the sales assistants often call us brother and sister, which makes me very proud. At the same time, I feel smug about my skincare routine, which further strengthens my determination to stick to skincare.
The days passed quietly, uneventful yet filled with a sense of purpose, until that day…

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