We are not worthy of love.

We Are Not Deserving of Love

(3500 words)

This story is quite old; it's been a full ten years. Ten years ago, I was a college student—young, beautiful, and physically fit. Back then, I liked to be alone, always wearing a baseball cap, sunglasses, and a CD player, arming myself from head to toe, not wanting to see or hear anything.

Looking back, I realize I was a bit too unconventional. Because I longed for peace, I used this method to protect myself, but this protection often backfired; many girls became even more interested in me.

So, during my sophomore year, I bought a bicycle with my own money. One weekend, as usual, I went for a ride. Around three or four in the afternoon, large raindrops started pelting down. I took shelter at the entrance of a residential complex, where a pretty girl was also sheltering, her back to me. I stole a few glances; she was about 167cm tall,
with beautiful legs and a slim waist. What captivated me most were her long, snow-white, and perfectly straight legs—I don't know how to describe them. Having seen countless women, I can say that her legs alone were in the top three—perfect golden ratio. She wore canvas shoes, denim shorts, and a light yellow tight-fitting t-shirt, and I couldn't help but glance at her a couple more times.

Just as I was stealing a look, the girl suddenly turned around. Before I could react, we stared at each other, wide-eyed. The place to shelter from the rain wasn't big, and I immediately felt embarrassed, my face turning red. I gave an awkward laugh. The girl was quite generous. "Hiding from the rain?"

"Yes."

"Your bicycle?"

"Yeah." I proudly patted the seat. There was only one of these bikes in the whole city, and I'd only bought it a month ago—brand new.

"So pretty! I want to buy a bicycle too, but I'm afraid of getting a tan, so I don't dare ride one."

The two chatted casually, one after the other. The girl's name was Xiao Qiu, and she looked about my age, around twenty-one or twenty-two. She had fair and delicate skin, the kind that's very pleasing to the eye. She had a large bust, probably a C or D cup. Her clothes were soaked by the rain and clung tightly to her body, revealing her perfect curves, which made my heart flutter.
The girl lived in this neighborhood and had come out to the supermarket to buy some things. I didn't expect to be caught in the rain just a few steps away.
After a while, the rain stopped, and I thought for a moment and shamelessly said, "Let's exchange phone numbers. We can go cycling to the beach together sometime." The girl happily agreed and took out her phone. "Wow, a V3!" It was one of those high-end Motorola Blades from ten years ago, super thin. Back then, its luxury was definitely many times more impressive than today's Apple phones. I looked at my own Bird Haq Cool 268 and instantly felt incredibly inferior.

Three or four days later, with exams approaching, I gradually forgot about it and got busy with the tests. Luckily, I'm quick-witted enough that I didn't fail any courses this semester. Before the holidays, I did some small business and made a little money, so I decided not to go home and just have some fun here. One night, I was having crab congee with some buddies when I got a call from her. She asked if I had forgotten about the bike ride, and I quickly said no, I was just busy with exams. She asked where I was, saying she was bored and wanted to hang out, so I gave her my address. About half an hour later, a blue BMW Z4 screeched to a halt in front of our table, its headlights blinding us all.

Yes, you read that right, a BMW Z4. The door opened, and Xiao Qiu strolled out leisurely. I instantly felt that my bike, which I'd been bragging about for over a thousand yuan, was utterly pathetic. Damn, my bike couldn't even buy one of their tires.

Xiao Qiu got out of the car, didn't even glance at anyone else, and walked up to me with a smile. She pulled up a chair, sat down next to me, and gestured, "Boss, give me a bowl of crab congee too."

I still remember the scene vividly. A group of men who had been shouting and yelling just moments before instantly fell silent, watching Xiao Qiu warmly sit beside me, asking me questions. In today's terms, it was like a bunch of losers meeting a goddess, a short, poor, and ugly guy seeing a beautiful, rich, and beautiful woman. To put it bluntly, they were practically drooling.

As a man, I was quite proud at the time. Who wouldn't want a beautiful woman to be intimate with them and make them look good?
So I pretended to be very familiar with Xiao Qiu, chatting and laughing. In reality, we had only known each other for less than half an hour.
After finishing the crab congee, the other losers walked back to their dorms, while I naturally took the BMW Z4 back. On the way, Xiao Qiu said she didn't want to go home and wanted to see the sea. Since it was a holiday and I had nothing to do the next day, I agreed. Following the deserted coastal road at night, Xiao Qiu sped along, arriving at the beach in just over ten minutes. Once there, the two of us sat silently in the car, looking at the sea and the stars.

I mustered my courage and grasped Xiao Qiu's hand. Naturally, she didn't resist or pull away. Instead, she turned around, stroked my cheek, and whispered, "Your eyes are so beautiful. I was captivated by you the first time I saw them." To be honest, I was pretty back then. My friends said I wasn't just handsome, I was beautiful—my face, nose, and eyes were delicately feminine. After saying that, Xiao Qiu suddenly hugged me and kissed me.

What followed was natural. I had my first car sex experience, in a BMW, in a BMW sports car. The cramped interior was inconvenient. Xiao Qiu straddled me, stroked me a few times, then, without even taking off her skirt, she pushed her underwear aside and sat on top of me. In an instant, I felt my penis enter her wet, warm place. I wrapped my arms around Xiao Qiu's waist, lifted her clothes, revealing her 34D breasts, and sucked on them desperately. The moment her mouth touched my nipple, Xiao Qiu became instantly aroused. She went from slowly swaying on top of me to a sudden, violent thrusting. To keep from crying out, she bit her lip, making soft moaning sounds that were incredibly alluring.

At that time, I wasn't very sexually experienced; a college student like me couldn't handle this, and I ejaculated within minutes. But youth has its advantages; even after ejaculating, I remained hard. So, I endured the discomfort of post-ejaculation and let Xiao Qiu continue. After about ten minutes, Xiao Qiu let out a long sigh and collapsed onto me, her D-cup breasts pressed tightly against my face, sweat pouring down her back.

After resting for a few minutes, Xiao Qiu got up, and the semen had flowed directly from her vagina onto my pants. Being a young man, and having ejaculated so much, my pants were soaked. I teased her, saying, "Now we can't go back to the dorm. What do you say we do?" Xiao Qiu smiled slyly: "Let's go to my place and wash up."

Then I drove to Xiao Qiu's house. The neighborhood was called Mingmen Plaza, which was the most upscale residential area in Haikou at the time. Xiao Qiu's house was luxuriously decorated. After entering the room, I hid in the bathroom, took off my pants and put them in the basin to wash. Xiao Qiu silently slipped up from behind, hugged my waist, and slowly touched my penis. Young people can't resist this stimulation, and I got hard again. I turned around, hugged Xiao Qiu and kissed her passionately. Xiao Qiu pushed me away, squatted down, and took my throbbing penis into her mouth. I couldn't help but groan with pleasure. Xiao Qiu's technique was excellent. There was no teeth involved, and she could even do deep throat. She would also lick my testicles from time to time. A few minutes later, I felt like I was going to ejaculate, so I quickly picked up Xiao Qiu, had her hold onto the sink, and stick her butt out to give her oral sex. Xiao Qiu excitedly moaned, "Baby, you're so great. You're licking me so well." Back then, I had only ever slept with schoolgirls. In those days, it wasn't very open. Schoolgirls would moan and groan during sex. I had never heard of them having lines. I felt incredibly encouraged. The more Xiaoqiu cried out, the more vigorously I licked her. Finally, Xiaoqiu shuddered and collapsed weakly to her knees in the bathroom. Watching her climax, I didn't give her a break. Right there on the bathroom floor, I pressed her down and thrust into her soaking wet vagina.

We did it twice more that night. I loved it when Xiaoqiu would wrap her long legs tightly around my waist, telling me to go harder, and then vigorously rubbing her big breasts.

And so, Xiaoqiu and I became lovers. Although she was very wealthy, I never let her pay when we went out to eat or have fun. She said I was still a student and it was better for her to pay for some things. I told her then to stop bothering me; I'm a man, and I'm not used to letting women support me. The more I insisted, the more infatuated she looked at me. Our nights together were passionate; taking advantage of our youth and stamina, we'd have sex three or four times every night until I couldn't ejaculate anymore.

But sometimes her phone was off when I called, which puzzled me. Later, under my questioning, she finally admitted that she was being kept by a Taiwanese businessman, with a five-year contract. He gave her 200,000 yuan a year, and for those five years, she couldn't have a boyfriend. After five years, the house and car would be hers. After hearing this, I silently left. By then, I had fallen in love with Xiaoqiu, so I couldn't accept this ending.

Xiaoqiu, on the other hand, was completely in love with me. She envied the students in the ivory tower, the place she wanted to be. To keep me, Xiaoqiu cried in front of me more than once, begging me not to leave. Later, I finally forgave her. Perhaps it was because of her exceptional skills in bed, or perhaps it was because of her stunning figure. Freud said that all human behavior is governed by sex, and I was no exception. And so, Xiao Qiu and I began our secret affair. Back then, the term "friends with benefits" didn't exist. The Taiwanese businessman was over 60, ineffective in bed, and infrequent, sometimes only coming once every three months. Therefore, Xiao Qiu and I never worried about being discovered.

About a year later, for a period of time, Xiao Qiu was exceptionally kind to me, inexplicably tender and considerate. She let me have my way in bed, even letting me try anal sex despite my pain, something I'd never done before. She was incredibly accommodating when we went shopping. In short, even serving an emperor wouldn't have been this considerate. I was incredibly comfortable during that time.
But a month later, I couldn't reach Xiao Qiu by phone anymore. A few days later, I received a text message: "I'm leaving. He's divorced. He's taking me to Taiwan to marry me. I'm sorry, I love you, please forgive me."

I never blamed her. I knew her family wasn't well-off; her father had a chronic illness, and the long-term treatment had already drained their savings. To save his life, she had no choice but to do this. Her family also knew Xiao Qiu was being kept, so surprisingly, they all remained silent.

After reading this text message, I silently went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and stood there silently from head to toe. Half an hour later, I came out, dried myself off, and pretended I had never loved her at all…

[The End]

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We are not worthy of love.

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