Don't have an affair or date at home.

I want to tell you all about an extremely dangerous thing that happened this morning. I hope you all learn from my experience and don't try to save a hundred or so yuan on a hotel room by having an affair at home! Remember this! Never, ever have an affair at home!
It was that same respectable young woman I met online last time. We'd met a few more times since then, and gradually gotten to know each other. This morning around 8 AM, she texted me saying her husband was out, she missed me a couple of days, and she was taking sick leave today. She asked if I could come over if I had time. Seeing this opportunity, of course I couldn't pass it up. I got up (I'm a night owl, usually getting up around 9 AM), quickly washed up, and rushed to her building in a taxi. I knocked lightly, and after a few long knocks (now that I think about it, that wasn't a good omen!), the door opened a crack. I slipped in! She was wearing pajamas, looking drowsy! I rushed forward to hug her, looking impatient, but she laughed and dodged, saying, "Don't rush, I have all morning."
I asked her, "Where is your husband?"
"Oh, he's gone to work! My back hurts, could you massage it for me?" she said. After she lay down in the bedroom, I began my family's traditional kung fu: kneading, pounding, and pressing. In no time, the woman's clothes were gradually removed, leaving only a light pink lace panty covering her full buttocks, which looked particularly alluring in the half-revealed state.
I did a good job with the foreplay; the beautiful woman's eyes were alluring, and she was panting heavily. It was time to get started! I quickly removed all my clothes, mounted myself, and got to work! ... Just as I was lost in thought, my hearing became unusually sharp. I vaguely sensed footsteps approaching in the hallway, as if they were coming this way...
I stopped sprinting, held my breath, and carefully tried to discern the direction of the footsteps... She impatiently slapped my bottom with her little hand and said, "Keep going!"
"It sounds like someone's coming..." Before I could finish speaking, I heard footsteps stop in front of Liangnu's room, followed by the sound of a key being taken out and the lock being turned.
Oh no! I rolled over and sat up. Before I could even get dressed, the door to the outer room was already open. In my haste, I'd carelessly left the bedroom door ajar, so it was still slightly ajar. To make matters worse, there were two naked people lying on the bed… In a panic, I darted naked behind the bedroom door, holding my breath and pressing myself against the wall… She, sensing the danger, pulled the rumpled blanket up to cover her naked body. On the carpet on the other side of the bed, my clothes, shoes, and socks were scattered about.
"Why are you back so early?" she asked softly, her voice weak (if she had come in a few minutes later, she would have been completely exhausted! Haha). "Nothing much at work, and I remembered you were sick this morning, so I came home to check on you!" the person who came in replied, walking towards the bedroom. It was her husband, no doubt about it! I was stunned. My brain seemed to have gone blank for a moment, and my little brother was the worst off, shrinking back in fear very quickly.
"I'm much better, I was just about to get up!" Her husband walked to the door, gently pushed it open, and it was only a hair's breadth away from touching me. But he didn't come in. He leaned against the door watching his wife slowly get dressed and chat about work! I didn't dare to breathe. I thought I was doomed this time! I'd seen photos of the couple before. Her husband was huge; even two of us wouldn't be a match for him! Sigh, how did Ximen Qing die? He was killed by Wu Song. Why am I so forgetful! I'm so regretful!
At this moment, I truly admired this virtuous woman. She calmly got up and dressed while chatting, without the slightest panic. Her husband, finally leaving that dangerous place, turned and sat on the living room sofa, turning on the TV to watch the live broadcast of the [unclear - possibly a sports competition].
After the beautiful woman finished dressing, she gave me a wink, quietly closed the door, and left! Taking advantage of this opportunity, I tiptoed and quickly got dressed! Brothers, who among you can dress without making a sound? I was extremely careful, and finally managed to get all my belongings dressed! Luckily, my shoes and socks were all thrown into a corner of the bedroom.
Looking around, the security bars on the third floor stood tall and imposing; jumping out was out of the question. Hiding in the closet or under the bed? No way! Hadn't you seen on TV how everyone who hid here met a terrible end?
Helpless, he could only stand at attention behind the door, holding his breath and waiting for his chance.
Hehe! But then I casually picked up… what was I picking up? There was absolutely nothing there! (So frustrating! Why didn't I keep a hammer or a knife in the bedroom? I could use it for self-defense in a crisis! Oh dear!). During this time, Liangnu wandered in a few times, shaking her head helplessly each time she saw me. And I knew I had to face the harsh reality! I tried to act cool towards her, making a boxing move and then pretending to leap out the window… her face almost turned green; she was starting to get scared!
I don't know how much time passed, but the sound of the TV in the living room was still clearly audible. I was so scared! I even removed the battery from my phone (I was afraid to turn it off because it still makes a sound), because I was afraid that if my phone suddenly received a call or message, everything would be irreversible!
Just when I was about to lose it, finally, the TV started broadcasting commercials! Haha! Commercial break!
I heard footsteps approaching again, and I clenched my fists, afraid to break a sweat...
I opened the door... it was the bathroom door next to the bedroom! It suddenly dawned on me that for many people, commercial breaks are also bathroom breaks!
She slipped in, gently tossed her head, and gestured for me to hurry up.
I was overjoyed. Before leaving, I gently patted her shoulder twice to express my gratitude and...deepest gratitude! I quickly tiptoed away! I quietly opened the security door through the living room and hallway, then quietly closed it again. Then I tiptoed down the stairs, and once outside, I took off running like crazy...Haha! I, I've been reborn! That was close!
Comrades, this is a lesson learned in blood! Never, ever remember this ironclad rule for gamers: Never have an affair at home! (Whether it's your home or hers). Otherwise, you won't even know how you died!
[End of article]

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