You Make Me Lose My Mind - (Final Chapter)

While Bian Jing was at work, she would always call me during her lunch break, and send me sweet text messages whenever she had a spare moment: "I miss you so much! Do you miss me?" "Are you asleep? Sleep well." "I'm eating, and I think of you with every bite. Have you eaten?" "When are you getting off work? I want to see you so much!" "I can't take it anymore! I'm going back to the hospital to see you!" "Ugh, it's so comfortable being with you at the hospital, boohoo..." "Five minutes until I get off work, I'm flying to your side right now, woohoo!" "Ha! Just one minute left! I'm about to see you! woohoo!"
As soon as we arrived at the hospital, Bian Jing hugged me tightly, jumping and shouting as if we were reunited after a long separation. Every day after get off work, she would bring me the latest newspapers, sports and fashion magazines, or newly published novels and poetry collections. After dinner, we would sit together on the hospital balcony, and she would take out a book and read the poems to me, or read the news from the newspaper. She was willing to do any small, insignificant thing for me; I was deeply captivated by her…
Ever since Bian Jing found out about my secret with Song Min, she's become much more arrogant than me. Every time I see her, I feel a little ashamed, as if encouraged by me. She's become increasingly domineering towards me, reverting to her spoiled, spoiled princess attitude, and I've been constantly accommodating. That's how the love war between men and women is; there are no permanent winners.
I have a lot of confidence in her. She may seem willful on the surface, but I've seen through her. She's just a paper tiger. I always unconsciously compare her to Song Min deep down. Both of them are cheerful, straightforward, and have a strong sense of love and hate. But Song Min's way of dealing with men is something Bian Jing will never learn. Song Min never asks me sarcastic questions like, "Do you love me?"
Bian Jing asks me almost every day, "Tell me, do you love me?" I feel that at my age, it's beneath me to spout those sentimental platitudes to a little girl, so I say, "I told you that the first time I met you, you suffocate me."
"No, can you be more direct? Is it so hard for you to say you love me?"
"That's not enough. Only you in this world suffocate me."
"I've had enough of your playboy platitudes. Who knows how many women you've slept with? I want you to say you love me!"
"I clearly remember saying this countless times before; there are verifiable records."
"Investigate you my foot! Just tell me now!"
"Why bother? There are so many people here, and besides, a hospital isn't a place for this kind of thing."
"I want to hear it now! Can't you just give me a straight answer?"
"I..." I was really embarrassed, since Bian Jing was usually the one to speak first.
"What do you mean, 'what'?" Bian Jing's eyebrows shot up, she stared directly into my eyes, grabbed my neck, and said menacingly, "Love..."
"The last word!"
"Is it that important? We're already inseparable, like water and milk."
"Keep talking nonsense. If you don't tell me today, I'm not done with you."
I'm easily embarrassed.
"You're kidding me. Are you going to talk or not? If you don't, I'm leaving!"
After saying that, she picked up her purse, turned around, and walked out. I quickly grabbed her and said, "Look at you, throwing a tantrum again. What's so important that you have to... Okay, okay, okay, I was wrong. Please come back."
I turned her around and pressed her down into the chair. She glared at me angrily, waving her little fists and saying, "This is a big deal for a woman!"
I noticed that Bian Jing seemed to have grown up a lot. In an instant, she had transformed from a little girl, a silly girl, into a woman. This startled me. Sometimes, a woman who is too smart or too persistent can really frighten a man. Years later, I asked Song Min what she had talked about with Bian Jing. Song Min talked about my characteristics in bed and the various benefits I had for women, etc.
Although it was just Song Min's opinion, these words made Bian Jing more wary and anxious. She probably thought I had invested too much emotion and energy in other women and wasn't sure if I would only be good to her or only have sex with her in the future. Therefore, Bian Jing needed me to clearly express my love for her, and that it was as much as her love for me.
Looking into her pure, innocent eyes, my heart softened once more. Her love for me was as pure as water, without a trace of impurity, like a gentle breeze returning from ancient times, like a crisp, clear spring from the deep sea. She had no desires for me, no expectations of high office or great wealth. She had her own wishes, but she wouldn't impose them on me or put undue pressure on me.
All she wanted was for me to love her. It was that simple, and her only request.
"I love you"
When she heard me say it, her eyes immediately lit up! She jumped up and hugged me tightly. I saw a single tear she shed for me. It was as if I had returned to that dream, where I owed her a tear, a debt I had never repaid through three lifetimes. In this life, I must repay her, or I will die with regrets!
"I love you"
I will love you forever!
"Really? Forever and ever? Until the day I die?"
"Yes, definitely. If you die, I'll die with you. If we live, let's live life to the fullest!"
"Then in the next life, I'll still be your girlfriend, okay?"
"Okay, in the next life I don't want anyone else, I'll just wait for you, I only want you!"
"Really? I'll be so happy! In my next life, I'll still be a virgin and give you my first time again!"
"Don't even mention the next life, even tens of thousands of years from now, I still want you to be my girlfriend."
"Yes, I'll do as you say and be your girlfriend only. I love you so much!"
I don't remember what happened after that. We said a lot of passionate and sincere things to each other. If time could stand still, if the earth could stop spinning, if we could go back to the past, if the world could stop changing, I would want to stay with Bian Jing forever and ever in that moment.
In the days that followed, I would tell Bian Jing "I love you" every day. She would only be happy when she heard me say that, and she would spend all her time at my place except for work. My illness dragged on, and my transaminase levels were always around 200. I was in a terrible mood, and I would have gone crazy if she hadn't been there for me.
One day, Bian Jing's mother came to visit me. Bian Jing was there too. The mother and daughter chatted for a while, then Bian Jing's mother asked her to go outside for a bit, saying she wanted to talk to me. Bian Jing obediently went outside. Bian Jing's mother kindly inquired about my illness and comforted me for a while. Then she said, "Thank you, Mr. Xie..."
I quickly and humbly handed Aunt Bian a glass of water and said, "You can just call me Xiao Xie."
Mother Bian took the water, smiled slightly, and said, "Xiao Xie, you and A Jing have been dating for over a year now, haven't you?"
I nodded and bowed, saying, "Yes, it's been one year and three months."
Suddenly, Bian's mother's face fell, and she said, "A-Jing is still a child and doesn't know any better. Does she often annoy you?"
I said, "No, no, we have a very good relationship."
Mother Bian said slowly, "Then why do I always see A-Jing secretly crying? Xiao Xie, if you think A-Jing is a good person, you should treat her well and never hurt her..."
Mother Bian gestured for me to be quiet, took a sip of water, and softened her tone slightly as she said, "You probably know about what happened between me and Jing's father. This is how my life is going to be, and I don't want my daughter to go through the same thing. Xiao Xie, I'm sure you've been through a lot. Jing is too naive; you must be devoted to her and never betray her feelings for you."
I blushed for a long time before sincerely assuring Aunt Bian, "Auntie, don't worry, I will be devoted to A-Jing! I will definitely not let you down!"
边妈妈淡淡的说：“恩，可能是我多此一举了，没办法，我就这么一个傻女儿，她很像我，我也没有教育好她，从来没有让她知道这世界上很多黑暗的事情，也许我错了。但我想你比她社会经验丰富，希望你可以照顾她一辈子。不要让她走我的老路”说完，边[** 已屏蔽**] 眼圈就红了，背过身去擦了一把眼泪。
我感到非常内疚，赶忙说了一大通自己对边静坚定不移的表白。边妈妈脸上逐渐露出了笑容，说道：“你这么说我就放心了，我也看得出来你是个能够负责任的男人，我相信你。”说完，边妈妈就叫来边静，陪她一起回家了。我一直送她们母女两个到了医院大门外面。
回到病房，我给老范打了个电话：“老范，刚才阿静老妈来了”
老范立刻明白了，说道：“是不是兴师问罪来了？你呀，病好以后赶紧收收心，把你那些情人统统赶走！忘掉！最好马上结婚！”
我说：“靠！我也想啊，这不好不了吗？！”
老范说道：“我敢立军令状，你这病肯定好的了！”
我不禁笑了：“哈哈，要是好不了你拿人头来见我啊！”
老范笑着说道：“就是好不了也没什么啊，以后你们小两口儿行房的时候不要那么拼命就可以，哈哈哈哈！”
老范总是一针见血，我苦笑着说：“我现在都不敢想这个，就发愁这病根啥时能除掉，靠！老这么不死不活地拖着，不是害人家嘛。”
老范语气强硬的说道：“你不娶她才是害她！你懂不懂啊！”
我明白这个简单的道理。
第二天，边静下班后来到我的病房，我就问她：“你是不是老背着我哭啊？”
边静脸红了，小嘴一扁，说：“是啊，你老欺负我，还那么花心，我比秦香莲还苦呢”她的个性就是这么爽朗直率，从不假装深沉。
我又问：“你跟你妈说我以前的事情了？”
边静哼了一声，说：“你老先生那些破事儿，我才不会跟我妈说呢”我放心了。
边静伸出纤纤玉指，在我头上点了一下，说：“你以后再欺负我，我就永远不理你了！哼！你可要记得哦，我说的是真的！”
我呵呵笑了笑，把她抱到我的腿上，说：“好，以后我都顺着你成不”
边境娇声娇气地说：“好啊好啊，以后你就做个乖乖的小绵羊……哎呀，你怎么又乱摸啊，你看你，又不是以后摸不着了”她跳起来，躲闪着我的手，我一边扑她，一边笑着说：“我需要抚慰”
她跳到床上，又从床的另一边跳到地上，咯咯笑着，说：“不行，你现在是病人，等你好了吧，我以后保证好好伺候你，呵呵，你就老实呆一会儿吧……”
我们两个像小孩子玩老鹰捉小鸡一样，满屋子扑腾了半天，我最终收了手，两个人安安静静地坐一起，她抚摸着我的脸，温柔地问我：“你是不是很想做啊？”
我有点不好意思，说道：“没有，还挺得住”
她捧着我的脸，在我额头上亲了一下，说：“我也想和你做爱，以后日子还长着呢，我一辈子都和你在一起，一辈子都是你的人。”
我也捧着她的脸，亲了亲她的额头，说：“我爱你”
她说：“能爱我一辈子吗”
我说：“爱你一辈子”
边静把头靠在我的肩膀上，轻声叹了口气，说：“唉~~~~，你知道吗你是我的一个真正爱的男人，从在网上看到你的照片就爱上你了”
“那你开始还不愿意见我”
“哎呀，人家不是拿拿架子吗，你连这个都不懂啊”
“你个小坏蛋，拖了我那么长时间”
“我不是后来很快就答应你了吗，而且第一次见面就和你上床了。当时我就想一定要和你在一起，把我的身体交给你。那一晚上真让我难忘啊”
“是吗，感觉那么好吗”
“是啊，我从来没有对一个男人那么冲动过，以前我也遇到过很帅的男人追我，我都没有给他们，就给了你，你可要珍惜我哦，听见没”
“嗯，我一定会非常珍惜你的”
“你还要向我保证以后不准和别的女人上床，包括宋敏，听见没？”
“我保证！”
“你和宋敏可以见面。还是好朋友，但不能上床。要是让我知道我会伤心死的”她说着说着就带了一点哭腔了。
“你放心吧！”我搂她更紧了一点。
“我对你的过去永远不再追究，以后我对你一心一意的，你对也要对我这样，如果你再犯错误的话，我就永远离开你，到一个你永远找不到的地方，让你后悔一辈子”
我的心震动了一下，突然产生了一种感觉：如果我从此以后见不到她，我会死的。这种感觉从来没有过，就是在和宋敏最热恋的时候也没有。我曾经遇到过无数很好很美的女人，也交过不少女朋友，都没有这种感觉。我曾经害怕一旦辜负了边静，她会走绝路，但我现在觉得，她离开我更让我痛苦！
她是我这辈子唯一爱上的女人。爱，应该就是这种感觉。生死分别已经轻若鸿毛，失去爱人、爱人轻视自己，才是天崩地裂的大事。
边静转过头来看着我，得意地笑着问我：“你是不是很怕我离开你呀？”
我们就是这么心灵相通，我想什么她都知道。我说：“你真是我肚子里的小蛔虫啊”
她咯咯笑着：“如果不知道你的心，我将来怎么做你的老婆呢”
我假装叹了口气，说道：“唉~~~~，以后我没得混了，什么都让你看穿了”
我们正说着，忽听得有人轻轻敲门，然后门开了，冷面冷口的王医生拿着一本病历走了进来，我们赶紧分开搂抱着的手，边静脸都红到脖子了。王医生就当没看见一样，语调古板的说道：“谢先生，你可以出院了”
以前我经常问他我什么时候可以出院，他总是爱搭不理的回答我说出院也就这样了回家好好养着。看来不但我对自己的病情不抱任何希望，他作为主治大夫也一样。我想他来通知我出院也就是我的病情稳定了一些，我可以早点滚蛋省得他看着我不顺眼。我懒洋洋的问他：“那我以后还过来复查吗？我听说一般出院半年就要复查一次的”
王大夫面沉如水一板一眼地说道：“不用了，你已经完全好了。”
我一时没有反应过来，问道：“什么意思？”
他说道：“你的病毒都没有了，大小三阳全部转阴，而且还产生了抗体，你以后只要注意爱护自己，就不会再得乙肝了”
我狂喜地大步迈向他，伸出双手死死抱住他的肩膀，瞪着他的眼睛问道：“你说什么？！是真的？！我完全好了？！”
王医生少见的露出了一丝微笑，学究气十足的、同时也很和颜悦色说道：“是的，你非常非常幸运，我反复用了多种新药给你理疗，没想到有了意外的收获，以后多保重吧！”
“太棒了！”边静也跳了起来，拍着巴掌跑到王医生的跟前，握住他的手使劲地摇着说道：“太谢谢你了王大夫！我要记住你一辈子！你是我的大恩人啊！”
王医生笑得更开心了，话也多了起来，很谦虚地说：“我也没做什么。谢先生的病情很古怪，一般是治不好的，也治不成这么干净彻底。我正在写一篇文章，准备把他的病例做为我的博士论文”
我的眼泪都差点流出来！两个月来的苦熬终于到了尽头！我跟王医生热烈地拥抱一阵子，边静也跟王医生拥抱。王医生脸红了红，很绅士地推开她，真诚地说道：“我祝你们小两口幸福”说完，含有深意地看了我一眼，拍了拍我的肩膀，就转身带上门离去了。
我和边静长时间地搂抱在一起，嘴唇粘在一起长久地热吻！
边静比我还要激动，呜呜地哭了起来，她的泪水沾了我满脸，我哄着她、亲着她的泪水、紧紧把她抱在怀里，抚摸她的长发。
这一刻，我们是那么幸福！仿佛我们两个人又重新合为了一个人，我的眼泪和她的眼泪融在了一起…………

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You Make Me Lose My Mind - (Final Chapter)

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