Si Jing, a transvestite

In the secluded rented room, a table piled high with cosmetics and a clean, tidy bed filled the entire space. Sijing leaned against the wall, stroking her 5cm penis, beads of sweat forming on her skin.
"You damn transvestite, you can't even get hard!" "This thing is useless now, you might as well cut it off." Si Jing recalled the words the customers had said to her during the day.
Why do this after a long day of hard work?
Remaining dignity? The struggle of gender?
Sijing knew she was already in this state, but she still couldn't resist trying to seduce him...
...Faster and faster, faster and faster, almost at the peak!
But suddenly her arm ached and wouldn't obey her commands. Exhaustion finally overwhelmed her sexual desire. Sijing could no longer masturbate; the little penis plummeted from near its peak to its lowest point. She let out a soft moan, deliberately mimicking the sound of an orgasm. Of course, this did nothing to change reality.
Sijing struggled to turn over, lay face down on the bed, hugged her pillow, and started crying…
==========
Sijing never met her father. Her mother passed away when she was fourteen, and Sijing persevered and finished high school on her own.
At that time, he was called Shijun.
Shi Jun has delicate features and a slender frame. After graduating, he was eager to find a job and met some cross-dressing actors, so he was brought into the industry and given the stage name Si Jing.
At first, Sijing just danced with others in various bars. The people around her came and went, and many left after making a quick buck. Sometimes, when there weren't enough people, they even had to use real women to fill the gaps.
Sijing worked very hard, learning makeup, singing, and posture from her seniors. In addition, she was naturally beautiful, and within half a year, she settled down to work at a bar in the new urban area.
Singing and performing on stage every night, she probably earns less than a hundred yuan, barely enough to make ends meet. Sijing has also started taking her medication, since the boss pays for it, so why not take it? Actually, everyone knows this is the boss's way of keeping people around. However, for Sijing, the boss has already found a way to keep her, which isn't necessarily a bad thing!
Having been taking hormones, Sijing is becoming more and more like a woman. Her skin is becoming increasingly fair and tender, and her muscles are becoming increasingly weak. Other cross-dressers wear heavy makeup, which can be frightening up close, and can only be viewed from a distance with lighting. Sijing is different. She just trims her eyebrows, applies a little more eyeshadow, and uses other makeup methods that are no different from a girl's, making her a spitting image of a pretty girl.
This way, she could even accompany customers for drinks. Sijing learned to speak in a female voice; although she couldn't sound like a woman, she could still manage to entertain customers. Sijing's income increased significantly at once.
===========
Since starting her work as a hostess, many customers inevitably made unwanted advances towards Sijing. At this point, relying solely on fake breasts or creating cleavage was no longer sufficient for Sijing. Although she continued to take hormones, the effects were inevitably limited. Many cross-dressing actresses undergo breast augmentation for easier access to these services.
Breast augmentation changes one's body shape, giving one more choices when it comes to clothing. On the other hand, once you have breast augmentation, it basically means you're in the industry and won't leave. It also means you have a lot of experience, which is something bosses and customers both like.
Sijing didn't hesitate; at 19, she had breast augmentation. Initially, it was only 240cc, but that was enough. Finally, she could wear low-cut, deep V-necks and lace tops without any worries, not to mention bikinis and breast petals that she had never imagined before. This gave Sijing a larger market for both dancing and working as a hostess, and her career flourished.
However, no one in this line of work can get rich.
Putting aside the boss's exploitation, the boss actually doesn't collect more money than the landlord. In this place filled with vanity and emptiness, ordinary people can vent for a while, but staying here for a long time will inevitably lead to losing oneself.
Half of the women here are involved in drugs, and eight or nine out of ten have been involved to some extent. Sijing is lucky she isn't, but she's definitely addicted. What kind of addiction?
Addiction to one's own body.
Having tasted the benefits of breast augmentation, Sijing realized the importance of her body. She invested almost all her income in plastic surgery. One day she would get a nose job, the next day she would get Botox injections, and then some hyaluronic acid... As for her breasts, in less than two years they were upgraded to 450cc.
But is this really for better work? In reality, it takes at least two weeks to recover. If the boss hadn't already established this reputation, he would have fired her long ago. Even if Sijing could earn money, it wouldn't cover the expenses. What bar girl can spend all her time with rich women and not go bankrupt?
Sijing couldn't stop. By the time she realized the seriousness of the problem, she was already heavily in debt. With a perfect body and a mountain of debt, it was clear what was going to happen.
Sijing went to sell it.
=========
On the first night, Sijing was still singing, but this time, there was no thin cloth between the man's hands and her breasts, and her lower body was exposed to the air.
She sat on the man, dancing and singing, looking up at the dazzling lights in an attempt to distract herself. But it was no use; she still screamed horribly when the man penetrated her.
Si Jing became an instant sensation due to her stunning figure, celebrity-like face, and transgender identity. Many people, who weren't actually interested in transgender people, allowed her to satisfy her sexual needs orally. Basically, she used her mouth to finish about six or seven out of ten times a week.
Sijing usually gets three or four "big orders" a day, and at least two at night if she doesn't work the night shift. She usually has one or two nights off a week. Normally, she doesn't have time to eat, relying on meal replacement powder to get by, so she doesn't need to go to the toilet, and her anus is always busy. After one session, she gets an enema to clean up, touches up her makeup, and then it's time for the next one.
She even gradually began to enjoy the feeling, the sensation of men ravaging her breasts and assaulting her anus. However, it was the penis that caused the most discomfort. Everyone wanted to see how a transgender person got hard and ejaculated. In reality, she was no different from a normal man, yet Sijing had to perform seven or eight times a day. This was simply driving her to the brink of collapse.
Another advantage of being a ladyboy is that she can accept both men and women, especially customers who bring their lovers. However, most of the time, it's just out of curiosity or to pay a prostitute to Si Jing; very few female customers actually want to have sex with her.
Once, a customer came with several female companions and ordered Sijing. Sijing was terrified when she saw her. One of the women was Ya Ning, Sijing's high school classmate from when she was still in Shijun, and also the object of her secret crush. Fortunately, it was unlikely that Ya Ning would recognize Sijing, who had changed so much.
No amount of hardship could diminish that initial passion. After the routine performance ended, the man was enjoying himself with his female companion, and he took off his coat, revealing a tight-fitting milk-silk dress. Sijing could no longer restrain herself; she pounced on him, attempting to insert her now-obsolete penis into Ya Ning. The men and women, caught off guard, were stunned, and the scene ended in a farce.
As Ya Ning left, she looked at Si Jing in horror. "Shi...Shi Jun?" These words were like a piercing arrow. Si Jing, who was Shi Jun, was overjoyed or utterly devastated, and collapsed to the ground, unable to move. Ya Ning left without looking back.
============
The boss fired Sijing.
This was to be expected; the owner's other bar, which didn't have any sex work, was thriving. This one, however, was losing money, and the protection fees were getting more and more expensive. Sooner or later, the girls would all be fired, but Sijing had stirred up such a big mess, so she was the one who got the short end of the stick.
It was drizzling the day she left. Sijing was wearing the only decent outfit she had, a floral mesh dress. It was the first time she had ever taken a crowded bus during rush hour; she usually got home late at night.
Several men surrounded her, glancing at her intentionally or unintentionally. Behind them, a few middle-aged women, as usual, pointed and gestured at the fashionably dressed girl. However, no matter how good their gossip was, they couldn't describe even half of what Sijing had experienced. When the people around her stopped looking at her with contempt, Sijing even felt a little uncomfortable.
On the way, she saw a man with his wife and child coming out of a supermarket. The family was chatting and laughing, enjoying each other's company.
Sijing will never forget him, because he was once a customer. This seemingly ordinary man tormented Sijing to the point of near death at night, using various whips, electric shocks, and even tying her to the bed and forcibly ejaculating three times. The unpredictability of the human heart is something Sijing has learned over the past three years.
Sijing tried to find several legitimate jobs, but none of them lasted long. During this time, she worked as a prostitute, but without anyone to protect her, she was frequently arrested to boost her performance. After several trips to the police station, it became even harder to find work, and she struggled to make ends meet.
Later, she was caught smuggling drugs and sentenced to two years in prison. Because she was a transgender person, she was sent to a men's prison to prevent her from raping other female prisoners.
What happened next is obvious to anyone: Sijing was raped nearly a thousand times over two years. The prison guards did nothing, even participating themselves. Sijing's room was designated a "recreation room." At first, she was denied food for not cooperating; later, they made a one-day rest a condition. Then, she was simply tied up, becoming "public property." Each time, Sijing ended up fainting.
Sijing discovered a prisoner nicknamed "Big Black" whose penis was over 25cm long. Every time it was his turn, Sijing would also experience pleasure. This was Sijing's only hope in the prison, and it was this hope that kept her going despite her near collapse.
After promising the prison guards that she wouldn't cause any more trouble and after several "transactions," Sijing was finally released from prison.
===========
When I found Sijing, she was by the bridge, incredibly thin, yet she was wearing exquisite makeup and inexpensive but sexy clothes.
At this moment, perhaps freedom could only be achieved in one way for her.
I stopped her and took her home. For the past three months, I've taken care of her and helped her pay off the rest of her debts. That's when she told me these stories. I don't know if they're true or not.
"Why do you help me?" This is the question she asks most often.
Indeed, I might love her somewhat, otherwise I wouldn't have done this. No one has seen how beautiful her eyes are in the morning sunlight; no one cares how cute she is when she straightens her heavy breasts; her waist, her neck, her bare face… But I know that anything more is unrealistic. And I'm just a single, ordinary person; I'm not gay; and even if I could accept transgender people, my parents would hardly get a good explanation.
We go shopping together, watch movies together, just like most couples. I intentionally avoid places that might trigger bad memories for her. Even if we accidentally pass by them sometimes, she doesn't react much anymore. Compared to before, when she would cry all day if I opened a bottle of wine, it's so much better now.
One evening, we lingered for a long time. I felt the scars on her body, her hot yet soft skin, and her powerfully beating heart. I thrust into her forcefully, and she could only weakly support herself with her battle-hardened body. But when I softened, she seemed like a young girl experiencing love for the first time, unsure how to manipulate her muscles, letting out soft, relaxed moans.
The next morning, when I woke up, she was already gone. I had limited funds and couldn't support her for life, and she had nothing left to give me. She knew this, so she left.
I'm really worried about her because I don't know what real changes she's experienced before and after I met her. We kept in touch on and off, and recently she asked me to come see her in ** city. This will be the first time I see her since she left. She didn't say much, so I don't know what I'll see.
That's life!

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Si Jing, a transvestite

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