"I Became the Matchmaker Between My Father and Wife" - (83) Desolate

I tried to control my thoughts and make my breathing even and steady, as if I were fast asleep. But after a long time, all I could hear was the clatter of Xiaoying tidying up the dishes in the kitchen and the sound of sweeping. There was nothing else unusual, and I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed.
Because my hearing was focused on the kitchen, I hadn't paid attention to my father beside me. After noticing that Xiaoying in the kitchen seemed normal for the time being, I turned my attention to my father. I noticed something was wrong with him; his breathing was uneven, sometimes rapid, sometimes even, and occasionally he would let out a soft sigh. It was clear that my father wasn't asleep at all and was extremely agitated. After tonight, he had received many of the messages Xiaoying had secretly sent him.
Because I had drunk a lot of alcohol, waves of drowsiness were overwhelming my brain. I'd experienced this before; I tried to wait, but I couldn't fight the sleepiness and drifted off halfway through, missing many exciting moments with my father and Xiaoying. This time, I was determined to resist. My hand naturally rested beside my thigh, and whenever I couldn't resist the drowsiness, I would secretly pinch my inner thigh with my fingernails. As everyone knows, the inner thigh is very sensitive; even a light pinch can be very painful, so that pain can keep me awake for a long time.
I don't know how much time passed, but just as I had pinched my inner thigh several times until it was burning with pain, my father finally got up. He carefully stepped down, and I heard the sound of him putting on his shoes. Because my father and I were drunk, Xiaoying, being a woman, couldn't undress both of us, so we lay on the kang (a heated brick bed) fully clothed. Due to the limited space in the bedroom, only my father and I were on the kang, and Xiaoying planned to spend the night alone on a folding recliner in the kitchen.
My father must have gotten up to use the toilet, I couldn't help but think, though a little anticipation lingered in my heart. There were no indoor toilets on the island, just a makeshift rural-style latrine built by the river. My father's footsteps began to move towards the kitchen, since the main entrance to the house was in the kitchen, and beyond that was the outside. His steps were slow, and I listened intently with my eyes closed. When he reached the kitchen, his footsteps suddenly stopped. At that moment, Xiaoying must have been lying on the folding chair; my father must have seen her.
Time seemed to stand still. Just when I thought something was about to happen, my father's footsteps started again, gradually moving towards the outside and fading away. It turned out he really had gone outside to relieve himself. Hearing this, I felt a pang of disappointment, but also a slight sense of relief. But before I could fully relax, a crisp "creak" came from the kitchen. Hearing this, my heart skipped a beat, because the sound came from the folding recliner.
I quickly calmed myself down, maintaining even breathing to soothe my turbulent emotions. After the sound, I heard the sound of high heels on the floor. It was Xiaoying making that sound; she must have gotten up from the recliner and was putting on her shoes, which explained the sudden creaking of the recliner. What was Xiaoying about to do?
My father hadn't returned from the restroom when Xiaoying's footsteps suddenly approached the bedroom. Her footsteps were very light, and finally, she stopped beside me. My heart leaped into my throat, and I was filled with confusion. What was Xiaoying going to do?
A moment later, I suddenly smelled a faint fragrance, a scent unique to Xiaoying. A few strands of her hair even brushed against my face, very lightly. Was Xiaoying checking to see if I was asleep? Xiaoying gently nudged my head, and I tried my best to pretend to be asleep. Sensing that I was truly asleep, Xiaoying let out a soft sigh. Then, she walked very quietly outside, her footsteps slowly fading into the night.
Did Xiaoying go to see her father? Are the two of them planning to have sex on the island? Has their second spring come so quickly? I can't imagine. I don't want to miss any exciting moments. You know, there are no video surveillance devices on the island. If something happens between Xiaoying and her father, I won't know afterward.
Time was of the essence, and driven by curiosity, I took a risk, quietly getting out of bed to put on my shoes. My steps were light, like a cat's, but quick; I controlled my pace as I walked towards the toilet. The island was covered in dense grass and towering trees, making it easy to find a hiding place. I saw Xiaoying ahead, and like a thief, I followed behind her. Because I was drunk, my steps were a little unsteady, and I had to concentrate a lot to control my pace.
The toilet was about 50 meters from the house, a bit far, because it was located by the water, where the river could wash away the waste, and being far from the house also prevented the smell from being blown into the house by the wind. The path leading to the toilet was winding; the house was on higher ground, while the toilet was on lower ground, so the two were connected by a meandering path. This made it easier for me to hide without being discovered.
A moment later, my father came into view. He had finished using the restroom and was on his way back. Xiaoying was standing in the middle of the road waiting for him. When my father saw Xiaoying standing in the middle of the road, he stopped abruptly, staring blankly at her, seemingly flustered, wondering what she was doing standing in the middle of the road.
At this moment, Xiaoying, dressed in white, looked like Sadako descended to earth; anyone who suddenly saw her at night would be startled. I hid not far from my father and Xiaoying, concealed in the grass. At that moment, a gust of wind was blowing in my face, and my father and Xiaoying's voices could be clearly heard by the wind.
A soft chuckle rang out. It turned out that Xiaoying had startled her father, and seeing his stunned expression, Xiaoying couldn't help but burst out laughing. After recognizing Xiaoying, her father gave an awkward smile and slowly walked towards her.
"Aren't you scared to come out alone so late at night? Why didn't you wake Jincheng up and come out with you?" Walking to Xiaoying's side, the father seemed to have nothing to say. He assumed Xiaoying was also there to use the restroom, so he asked her with concern.
"He's sleeping like a log. I came to see you." Xiaoying stopped laughing and spoke softly to her father. Her words were gentle, unlike her usual coldness. Hearing that Xiaoying had come to see him, her father was startled. I peeked my head out from the grass, and by the light reflected from the river, I could vaguely see my father's expression.
"Dad, come home." Since Xiaoying had her back to me, I couldn't see her expression clearly, but when my father heard Xiaoying's words, his face lit up with joy. However, he still didn't say anything, as if waiting for Xiaoying to continue.
“You’re getting old. Living on this island in the middle of the river isn’t a long-term solution. What happened between us… I don’t want to bring it up again. As long as you go back, I won’t hold it against you anymore. Let’s pretend it never happened. After all, the responsibility for what happened wasn’t entirely yours. If I hadn’t… it wouldn’t have happened. I will continue to care for you with Jincheng, just like before, and we will take care of you in your old age and see you off in your final days. You will still be my father-in-law, and I will still be your daughter-in-law.” Xiaoying looked at her father without speaking and began to softly express her thoughts.
"I hope everything that happened between us can be seen as a dream. From the very beginning, we both made mistakes. I've always felt uneasy, but what's done is done, and there's no going back. However, I hope that no one else will ever know about what happened between us. Let's just pretend it never happened. Let's keep our family together as before. Come back, Dad."
Hearing this, I understood Xiaoying's meaning. Xiaoying is, after all, a kind-hearted woman who has always been very filial to her father. After adjusting herself and seeing everything her father was doing on the island, she couldn't resist her compassion. She wanted her father to return home and enjoy his later years, but in doing so, she indirectly avoided him. She would be with me in caring for our father, but from now on, she would never have any close contact with him again. Everything was just a dream, an illusion. Xiaoying had forgiven her father, but she didn't want anything to happen between them again, completely severing their illicit relationship.
Hearing Xiaoying's words, a flicker of pain crossed the father's face, like a man suddenly abandoned by the woman he loved. I imagine he felt a sense of relief, but mostly heartbreak. After all, Xiaoying's meaning was clear: their past intimacy was over and would never happen again; they would return to a normal father-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship. But a hint of relief also appeared on the father's face. Wasn't this the best ending, or perhaps the inevitable one? It was already destined the moment he put Xiaoying's name tag on the wall.
“It’s better if I don’t go back. I haven’t explained what happened that time to you, but I really couldn’t control myself that night. I really don’t know why. I’ve been blaming myself. I’m so happy that you’re persuading me to go back. I admit that part of the reason I came to Jiangxin Island was to escape, but more so for our family. Being alone on this island allows me to forget my troubles. Life here is carefree, and I’m content. When I’m not at home, as long as I don’t see you, I forget many things and worries. If I go back home, I can’t guarantee that I won’t do anything else. After all, every time I see you, I can’t help but grow…” After hearing Xiaoying’s words, the father thought for a while, and then simply and subtly stated his decision. Not seeing Xiaoying would reduce his longing for her and allow him to better control his heart. Out of sight, out of mind. It was a rejection, but wasn’t it also a confession?
"Dad, I know how you feel. I can only say that in this life I can only be your daughter-in-law. I love Jincheng, and no one can shake his position in my heart. If there is an afterlife..." Xiaoying's voice was already trembling with tears after hearing her father's words. How could she not know her father's subtle confession? However, Xiaoying could not accept her father's confession. She must have been heartbroken, but she could only cruelly reject her father to prevent the two of them from continuing down the wrong path, even though rejecting him at this time felt like locking the barn door after the horse had bolted.
“Dad, you’re welcome to come home anytime you want. Jincheng might wake up at any moment, so let’s go back quickly.” After saying this, Xiaoying turned around abruptly. She seemed unwilling to continue communicating with her father, as she was also losing control of her emotions. I could clearly see her secretly wiping away tears. She lowered her head and slowly took her steps. Her father watched her back from behind, his eyes filled with lingering emotions.
Seeing that my father and Xiaoying were preparing to go back to the house, I quickly slipped back inside before them, using the cover of darkness and the bushes. I took off my shoes, lay quietly on the kang (a heated brick bed), and remained motionless in the same position. I was touched by Xiaoying's reaction to my father's rejection, because I had always been number one in her heart, but I couldn't help feeling a little disappointed. Was this the end of it all?
Xiaoying's high heels were heard first entering the kitchen, followed by the sound of a recliner. Soon after, her father returned to the bedroom and lay down on the kang (heated brick bed). Both of them seemed emotionally unstable. Her father appeared to be in great pain; although he had already guessed the outcome, he couldn't suppress his inner turmoil when Xiaoying spoke to him directly. Xiaoying cruelly rejected her father, though she was also deeply reluctant. After all, the "sexual love" he provided was something she couldn't give him, and that wonderful "sexual bliss" lingered in her memory. Through their past interactions, her father had successfully entered her heart, albeit only a small part. Ultimately, however, she made a choice between her father and me, a clear and resolute decision. Only Xiaoying herself truly understood the reluctance she felt.
Everything fell silent, except for the occasional sobs from my father beside me and Xiaoying in the kitchen, their sobs slowly echoing in the desolate night...

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"I Became the Matchmaker Between My Father and Wife" - (83) Desolate

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