Love (Dreaming) - Chapter 13

In my hazy state, I heard what sounded like dishes being set out outside. Maybe Mom's back. But if that's the case, doesn't it mean I'm dreaming of being alone in a hospital?
Knock knock knock... Just as I was still thinking, there was a knock at the door—it was Xiaoting standing at the door.
"Get up and eat..." Xiaoting called to me, her smile unchanged.
For a moment I didn't realize, how come Xiaoting is at home?
However, it only took a short while for me to understand what was going on.
"Auntie asked me to take care of you. She's taking care of Mengjian at the hospital," Xiaoting said. Seeing that I was still sitting on the bed, she came over and pulled me up, saying, "Don't just sit there... get up and eat."
On the dining table were several simple side dishes and steaming hot white rice—all prepared by Xiaoting.
"Thank you for your trouble... I even had to cook for me." Actually, I felt really bad and guilty.
"What's the trouble, Hui? Why are you suddenly being so formal?" Xiaoting said with a smile, and I could only reply with a smile. Seeing that I had started eating for a while, Xiaoting asked me, "How is it? Is it good?"
"Yes, it's delicious," I replied. Xiaoting seemed quite satisfied with my answer, and her smile became even more pronounced.
Was it because I said the food was delicious? I never expected that such a casual remark from me could make Xiaoting so happy. Looking at Xiaoting's smiling face, I was suddenly reminded of the same lively smiling face in my dream; the images seemed to overlap. I blinked and asked Xiaoting, "What was your dream like?"
For a fleeting moment, a hint of frustration and sadness seemed to cross Xiaoting's face. Was it sadness from the dream? Or was it my words that caused her reaction? But after a short while, Xiaoting's face returned to its usual calm, and she answered me with her usual smile, "It's still the same. Auntie is taking care of her in the hospital."
And so, we didn't say another word, and dinner passed in silence. My mind kept drifting between dreams and Xiaoting. Sometimes I'm conflicted; are they equally important to me? Perhaps… I don't want to lose either of them. Such a greedy hope, yet I can't help but think this way.
"Ring ring ring..." The phone rang.
"Hello?" I answered the phone, and it was my mom's voice on the other end.
"Xiaohui, have you eaten yet?" my mom asked me.
"Yes, I've eaten. Xiaoting made it for me," I replied, glancing back at Xiaoting, who was clearing the dishes away at the sink.
"What happened when you dreamed about her?" I asked my mom.
"Sigh... she still hasn't woken up. Okay, don't worry about Mengjian anymore, Mom's watching over her. You've had a tough time these past few days, so go to sleep early after Xiaoting goes home. Mom's taking care of Mengjian at the hospital tonight, I won't be coming home."
"Okay, I got it. Goodbye, Mom." With that, she hung up the phone.
Actually, I don't know how to face Xiaoting right now. On one hand, I don't want to lose her either, but at the same time, I feel very guilty, after all, I'm the one who betrayed her.
After dinner, we sat on the sofa and watched TV.
"Xiaoting..." I finally spoke first.
"Hmm?" Xiaoting looked at me, as if expecting me to say something.
"I..." The words caught in her throat, "I've never changed, I've always liked you."
Xiaoting looked at me, urging me to continue.
"But I can't live without Mengjian. While I love you, I also deeply love my sister, Mengjian. I know it's wrong of me to selfishly want to have both of you... but I really can't control my feelings. I love you both."
I don't expect you to forgive me... If you want to leave... you can leave now. I won't bother you anymore. You can hit me or scold me as you please. I won't resist. "In an instant, she said everything she wanted to say.
"Ah Hui..."
"Huh?" I looked up at Xiaoting. She walked over to me, smiled, and said, "I... have never blamed you."
I was stunned for a moment. Xiaoting didn't leave or scold me as I expected, but instead said something like this.
"Xiaoting has never blamed me..." I thought to myself, "Xiaoting has always been so tolerant of me..." I felt my eyes getting hot, and I couldn't help but hug Xiaoting, but tears slowly welled up in my eyes.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry, Xiaoting," I said, my voice trembling with tears.
"I was already so happy when I heard Ah Hui say that he had always liked me," Xiao Ting said, reaching out to hug me. "Because... I've always liked Ah Hui too... No matter if you love Meng Jian at the same time, as long as you still have me in your heart, I'm happy."
"Xiaoting..." I suddenly felt much lighter... That feeling of being forgiven was really comforting, so comforting.
Xiaoting sat down on the sofa next to me, and I lay back on her lap, holding her hand, inhaling her sweet fragrance. Xiaoting gently stroked my head, again and again. This peaceful feeling seemed to make me forget the troubles of the past few days.
At that moment, I felt both relaxed and exhausted. Resting my head on Xiaoting's soft lap, my consciousness gradually became hazy, and I could only feel Xiaoting's hand gently stroking my head back and forth.
"Ah Hui, you can't sleep on the sofa," Xiao Ting said.
I didn't agree to her request. My breathing gradually calmed down, and Xiaoting's hand stopped on my face.
"Ah Hui, I'm so stupid..." After a while, Xiao Ting seemed to be talking to herself.
"I wonder if you'll like me the way I like you," Xiaoting continued.
I really wanted to tell Xiaoting my answer. But that hazy feeling before falling asleep—I think everyone has had that experience—you want to say it, but your mouth just won't open.
"Yes, of course," I answered in my heart.
...
When I woke up again, it was already the next morning when the sun was shining in.
"Ding-dong..." It was the doorbell ringing.
I rolled over, but missed.
"Thump." I shook my head, regaining my senses. I was wrapped in a blanket, having just rolled off the sofa onto the floor. I remembered how I fell asleep last night, but... where's Xiaoting?
"Ding-dong..." The doorbell rang again.
I struggled to my feet, threw the blanket into a ball on the sofa, and went to open the door.
"Good morning, Hui..." Xiaoting stood at the door as soon as I opened it.
"Uh... good morning." I'm not quite awake yet.
"I bought you breakfast." Xiaoting shook the bag in her hand and said, "Ah Hui, you just got up?" I nodded.
"Go wash your face..." Xiaoting said as she pushed me towards the bathroom. "Come out and have breakfast after you're done."
...
On the dinner table, there was soy milk and fried dough sticks—a very simple breakfast.
"Me? I went back home after you fell asleep last night, and only came to find you this morning after buying breakfast," Xiaoting replied.
"But...did you ask for leave?"
"Taking leave...? Ah Hui, are you out of your mind? Today is Saturday." Xiao Ting looked incredulous.
"Oh...yes, it's Saturday today," I said. I wonder how Mengjian is doing now.
Seeing my expression, Xiaoting seemed to read my mind. "After breakfast, I'll go with you to the hospital to see Mengjian. That way, Auntie can come back and rest."
"Okay." I reached out and took Xiaoting's hand. "Thank you..."
Xiaoting smiled and said to me, "Don't say 'thank you' to me anymore, it makes me feel very uncomfortable."
...
In the quiet hospital, the sheets were still pristine white. But it was precisely on these sheets that my beloved sister lay.
Nothing had changed; Mengzhi was still sleeping there. After a brief explanation, I told my mother to go back and rest, leaving Xiaoting and me in charge of things here.
Now, only Xiaoting, Mengjian, and I are left in the room. I haven't said a word; I've just been looking at Mengjian.
"Ah Hui... I'm going to the restroom." Xiao Ting said this to me when almost half the morning had passed.
So, it was just me and Mengjian left.
"I dreamt of... Brother, I miss you so much." I said to my dream, which couldn't answer me. I don't know why I said something so illogical. Even though the dream was right in front of me, what I was thinking about was that lively and lovely dream.
Looking at her peaceful face, I couldn't help but lean closer to Mengjian, my hand holding hers. Finally, our lips met. My tongue parted her lips, pushed aside her teeth, and entered her mouth. Just a few days ago, I had loved kissing Mengjian like this. It seemed that no matter how long the kiss lasted, I couldn't convey all my love to Mengjian, my beloved little sister.
But now, all I hope is that, even in her coma, she can still feel my tongue, my tenderness, my anticipation for her to wake up, and my love for her.
I held tightly to the hand I dreamed of, and that's what I hoped for.

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Love (Dreaming) - Chapter 13

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