Love (Dreaming) - Chapter 15

"What? You woke up from the dream? Really?" My mother's joy was palpable on the other end of the phone.
I accompanied my child to the doctor for a final check-up. After the check-up came back normal, the doctor found it quite strange. However, since it was a happy occasion, the doctor didn't say much, only offering us, "Congratulations, your child can be discharged from the hospital."
"Brother, can you take me out to play tomorrow?" I dreamt of asking this question while packing my clothes from my dream of being hospitalized.
"That's good... but I dreamt you just woke up, shouldn't you rest for a few more days?"
"No, no need." Mengjian shook her head and pleaded with me, "Okay, brother, take me to the toilet..."
"Uh... okay, okay, I'll talk to my mom about it when I get back." I couldn't resist Mengjian's sweet talk, so I agreed.
"Mom..." A hint of disappointment seemed to flash in Mengjian's eyes as she said this. I understood after a moment's thought, so I softly said to Mengjian, "Mom has already said she doesn't object to us being together."
"Oh? Really?" The tone was one of surprise and joy.
"Yes." I just smiled and nodded.
...
However, when we opened the door...
The table was laden with dishes, their aroma filling the air.
"Xiaohui, I dreamt you're back. Come on, put your luggage down and let's eat first," Mom said, placing the last dish on the table.
"Mom..." I was almost dumbfounded... "We already ate at the hospital..."
"Oh...I see..." Mom's expression immediately turned to disappointment.
"Brother..." Mengmeng poked my waist, "It's rare for Mom to cook so much delicious food for us, it won't hurt to eat a little more..."
"Uh... okay."
"So you want to eat? Then hurry up and put the food down..." The smile returned to Mom's face.
I really think my mom is being too childish.
...
Dinner passed peacefully, except... I ate too much. During our conversation at dinner, the topic of whether we could be together wasn't brought up. Perhaps I'm no longer worried; otherwise, given my personality, I would definitely have asked my mom for a definite answer.
"I didn't shower at the hospital, I'm so dirty... I'm going to take a shower now..." Meng said after dinner.
...
"Mom, take me and Mengjian out to play tomorrow." I asked my mom when she sat down on the sofa next to me.
"Hmm? You and Mengjian go have fun. I have to go to work tomorrow. I've taken enough days off these past two days."
"Okay, then." I was hoping my mom would drive, but it seems like that's not going to happen now.
A boring program was playing on TV, and the sound of running water came from the toilet.
"Xiaohui, about you and Mengjian..." After a long silence, Mom suddenly spoke up.
"Mom, didn't you already promise to let us be together?" No, I absolutely can't be separated from Mengjian again.
"Xiaohui, but you know how long this relationship can last. Besides, your dad won't approve of you two being together."
"Whether we can stay together is our own business," I said impatiently, out of a sense of crisis about separating from Mengjian.
"Alright, if you insist," Mom said, sighing, "as an elder, I can't go back on my word."
A hint of helplessness seemed to flash in his eyes.
I turned off the boring TV. The sound of water in the toilet had stopped for a while; I dreamt I should be coming out soon.
"Could indulging you all be the biggest mistake of my life?" Mom murmured to herself, then went into her room. Sometimes I think, wasn't it incredibly irresponsible of Mom to say something like that?
...
After I came out of the shower, the living room was empty. My mom had already gone to her room and was probably asleep by now.
As I passed by Mengjian's room, I hesitated for a moment. "Never mind, let her get some rest tonight," I thought to myself, and then went into my own room.
Lying alone in bed, surrounded by darkness, this scene always makes me, who isn't sleepy, think about many things.
Although I'm happy that my mom was willing to let us have our way, the fact that she didn't stop us leaves me with a sense of disappointment. Am I secretly resenting her for not fulfilling her duty to properly educate us?
Why do I have this feeling...? Mengjian and I haven't done anything wrong, so of course Mom doesn't need to stop us. Even so, I can't stop feeling this way. My dad has been frequently away on business trips since I was little, and Mom has taken care of us most of the time. I always felt that Mom's decisions were generally right, even though they could be a bit childish at times. But as the only elder Mengjian and I can rely on, we would always abide by her decisions. Indeed, Mom is such an important person to us, yet this time she made such a helpless decision, which makes me genuinely afraid that Mengjian and I have made a mistake. Maybe Mom is conflicted too; perhaps my conflicted personality is inherited from her.
The door opened at that moment.
"Brother...can I come in?" Mengjian asked, standing at the door.
"Yes, of course." I was a little surprised that she would come to find me at this time. Since we started sleeping in separate rooms, she, who has always been strong, has never come to find me in the middle of the night because she is afraid of the dark or ghosts.
"Brother..." I felt something warm in my arms. It turned out that Mengzhi had sneaked into my bed without me noticing.
"I heard what you said to Mom," Mengjian said softly.
"Don't worry, Mom said she wouldn't go back on her word," I said.
"Mm," Mengjian responded.
"So you're still worried about this issue?" I asked Mengjian after a while.
"Yes." Mengjian nodded gently.
"Then why not just tell Mom?" That's not like Mengjian's personality. Indeed, looking back on this period, the usually strong Mengjian has become so easily hurt.
"Because... I'm afraid," Mengjian said in a slightly trembling voice, "I'm afraid that if Mom doesn't agree, we'll be separated forever."
Hearing that, my heart clenched.
"No, don't worry, Mengjian. I will never leave you, no matter what," I said, hugging Mengjian.
"Yes, I never want to be separated from you, brother. You are the most important person to me." I didn't look down at Mengjian's expression, but at this moment, her face must have been blushing adorably.
Mengjian, it seems, needs me the most. The reason she becomes so vulnerable is because she doesn't need to protect herself like a hedgehog in front of me, but instead shows me her most unreserved side. It's because of her dependence on me that she's afraid to ask about the outcome. And it's me, because of my own incompetence, who makes Mengjian believe time and again that I will leave her.
Thinking about this makes me hate myself. I must dedicate my life to making Meng Jian happy.
"By the way, I dreamt about something," I asked her, "that Mom has to go to work tomorrow and won't be coming with us. Where do you think we should go for fun?"
"Hmm... everything's fine." Her voice sounded tired.
"Then let's go to the beach," I said.
"Okay...then...let's go...to the beach." Mengjian said this, almost falling asleep.
"Go to sleep if you're tired," I said, patting Mengmeng's head.
"Mmm... Brother... Goodnight." After saying that, Mengjian's breathing gradually became steady.
Holding my little sister in my arms, her familiar scent filling my senses, the feeling of having lost her again brings me immense peace. Thinking back, I realize the reason Mom didn't stop us again was because she didn't want me and Mengjian to experience the pain of separation. Even knowing it might be wrong, she still didn't stop us. Could she... truly understand our feelings? I wonder what Mom and that uncle I've never met were like before?
After a while, I finally started to feel sleepy.
"elder brother……"
"kindness?"
"..." I looked down and realized it was just my sleep talking.
"Goodnight, dream of you," I whispered to my beloved sister, giving her a light kiss on the forehead.

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Love (Dreaming) - Chapter 15

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