Remembering my girlfriend's premarital infidelity

After meeting my girlfriend, I became addicted to online games for a while, which caused us to drift apart. We had been living together for several years. One day, I noticed a shiny crotch area on her pants. I looked closely and was shocked. My sixth sense told me something was wrong. Because it was summer, there was a different smell in the bathroom. Maybe I was just too nervous, but the smell was coming from her underwear. Later, she told me that she had sex with that old man at noon, slept with him again that night, and had sex with him again in the morning. I didn't believe her. After carefully observing my girlfriend's genitals, I felt a pang of sadness. There had been a lot of friction. That man must have done it at least four times. I felt like I wanted to die. I had even made a plan to kill that man. But later, because I loved my girlfriend too much, I reluctantly gave in to that man. This is a pain that will forever remain in my heart. Later, after being exposed to 69 (a sexual activity), my inner conflicts slowly changed over time, and my mindset shifted. I started fantasizing about threesomes and swapping. We've been communicating through sex, and this process will take several years. Once we're both ready and have adjusted, I'll carefully choose a man my girlfriend likes for a threesome. After all, I love her very much, and swapping requires her consent and complete acceptance. I'm looking forward to that moment, but I'm also very excited. Watching a man sleep with your girlfriend definitely takes courage. I'll wait and see. I really want to try it. Am I bad? I feel really perverted.

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Remembering my girlfriend's premarital infidelity

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