The funniest 3P

P.S.: This article contains distorted values and vulgar language. It should not be used as a moral standard and is not suitable for readers under the age of 21.
I'm an incredibly bored woman. My 88-year-old husband has finally passed away, and I'm a widow now. Suddenly, I want to completely let loose. I want to replenish my yin energy through yang, I want to sleep with every man in the world, I want every single one of them to fight for my favor. Don't ask me why; I just want to experience a game that many women want to play but are too afraid to. So... I really want to have a threesome. (Don't ask me how old I am; I'm in great shape.)
X
It's easy for a woman to have a one-night stand; after all, women have a sexual advantage. She can easily find a man to sleep with at a bar. You meet a guy, have sex for a while, and everyone knows the other wants to have sex, so it's simple. But having a threesome is difficult because you don't know how to bring it up. You know, first you have to arouse a man's interest, and then you say you have to wait a while, that you need to wait for another partner. Doesn't that seem strange?
I came up with a plan. I invited a few girlfriends and explained my purpose to them, asking them to put on a show. I pretended to be heartbroken, drunk, and asked someone to have a threesome. If anyone responded, my girlfriends would pretend to be invisible and secretly protect me. If others thought I was being silly and said I was a pervert who had no one to play with, I would pretend to be drunk and pass out, and my girlfriends would carry me away, saying that I was just talking nonsense while drunk.
The plan was underway! I drank two large glasses, went up on stage, and yelled, "I'm so lonely! I want someone to love me! Are there any men willing to volunteer to play with me? I want a threesome! If you think you're handsome, come up on stage and show me!" All the men in the room sounded like a troop of gorillas in a forest, all shouting "Huff! Huff! Huff!" but only "Huff!" Nobody came up on stage. Afterwards, I pretended to be drunk and had my girlfriends carry me offstage, ending the show. The four of us silly women sat in a booth, ignored by everyone.
Then my girlfriends suggested going dancing, but I wasn't in the mood, so I just drank alone. Within a minute, a guy offered me a drink; he was younger than me, with a high nose bridge. Haha, I hooked up so quickly, I'm rich! So the two of them started whispering sweet nothings, and I began chatting about everyday things.
He took the opportunity to tell dirty jokes, and I took the opportunity to expose myself, but I controlled myself well and didn't steer the conversation towards sex, because I needed to wait for another teammate before we could start our dungeon run. Wait, wait, it's been half an hour, why hasn't another man come? If another man tries to seduce me, I'll book a room right away.
The man with the high nose asked, "Why are you alone? Where are your friends?"
Me: "Let's go dancing."
The guy with the high nose: "With a figure like yours, you must be a great dancer."
Me: "Maybe, but I prefer sitting with you. Would you like to do this for now?"
High-nosed guy: "No problem, I can sit with you for as long as you like, and I'm happy if you can sit still."
Me: "I'm not happy."
High-nosed guy: "What do I have to do for you to make you happier?"
Me: "I like excitement."
High-nosed guy: "I also like excitement, how about..." (makes a finger-insertion motion)
Me: "I don't want to play pool for now."
(Content omitted for brevity, 1000 words)
Me: "Where's your friend?"
High-nosed guy: "Let's go, I'm all alone now."
Me: "Why don't you invite a friend over for a chat?"
High-nosed guy: "Do you think I'm boring?"
Me: "Ugh, I..." ~~~~ Why is it so hard to collect all three?
Just then, a guy with small eyes sat down and asked me, "I'm so lonely. I see you like chatting so much, why don't we chat together?"
Me: "Hey handsome, is he your friend?"
High-nosed guy: "No, I thought it was your friend."
Me: "Whatever, let's go get a room together!"
Small-eyed guy: "So direct? Fine, I don't care anyway."
High-nosed guy: "Damn, you think you can just get something for free? I've been chatting with you for so long, and now that there's food, you come here? Get lost, you idiot!"
The guy with the high nose pushed the guy with small eyes away, and the guy with small eyes was very reluctant to leave.
Oh, I see. I get it now. He didn't understand I wanted to play 3P and kicked his teammates out. What bad luck! Probably a lot of people had already requested to team up, and he didn't want to share the loot, so he rejected them all. Seriously? Who's the team leader here? Of course, I was too embarrassed to say anything, but oh well, I'm doomed.
I spoke up: "Hey handsome, actually, I really want to have a threesome, are you okay with that?"
High-nosed guy: "Of course I can accept it. I can accept anything you like."
Me: "Let me make this clear first, this is my first time playing this too, and I don't play anything weird or difficult."
High-nosed guy: "Let's have a 3P, a non-perverted 3P, guaranteed to provide family warmth, guaranteed fair treatment, and lots of fun at Tung Wah."
Me: "Okay, could you invite one more friend?"
The guy with the high nose: "That's a bit difficult, since it's hard for me to find a suitable candidate. Why don't you find one? I'll accept any of them."
Me: "I'll look for it. Once I find it, I won't waste this long."
High-nosed guy: "Any of your sisters will do."
Me: "What do you mean just any sister? I want a 3P with two men and one woman!"
The man with the high nose: "Isn't it supposed to be one emperor and two empresses? Two men and one woman, I'm afraid you'll have a hard time. Why have one woman serving two men? One emperor and two empresses!"
Me: "You wish! You think you can sleep with two women?"
High-nosed guy: "It's like watching porn, one person inserts, the other licks."
Me: "What's the point of this? You're having one, what's the other supposed to do?"
High-nosed guy: "Touch it with your hands or lick it."
Me: "What if you're having sex with me, and the other person wants to be fucked too?"
High-nosed guy: "Let's each take a turn."
Me: "I want two to serve me, oh dear! It's too much trouble!"
The man with the high nose: "If the other woman has time, she can serve you."
Me: "Get lost! You messed with me, touched my breasts, what was that other woman doing?"
High-nosed guy: "I'll fuck you, touch her breasts, you lick her pussy."
Me: "Why should I lick a pussy? Why don't you just suck my dick?"
High-nosed guy: "That's why I said I'd indulge you, I'd fuck you, I'd grab your breasts, I'd lick her pussy."
Me: "Then who will kiss me?"
High-nosed man: "Your sister?"
Me: "Go to hell! Why don't you go suck your dad's pipe dream? Anyway, I need two men to play with me."
High-nosed guy: "You're really demanding. Two men would be so weird. I'm a very traditional man, I can't accept that."
Me: "Never mind then, I have a friend who said she wants to play with two guys and one girl, I'll ask her, and she can let me play after she's done."
High-nosed guy: "This isn't good either. It's time to let go of the old and welcome the new, but I have a condition."
Me: "What?"
High-nosed guy: "I want to sign up. After we're done playing together, you can introduce me to your sisters."
Me: "No problem, if you can find two men."
The guy with the high nose: "I'm going to find a man first."
Five minutes later, he actually found a guy with small eyes.
Me: "Little guy with small eyes, do you know what's going on? It's just me, not a four-person party!"
Small-eyed boy: "I understand, I know the rules. Two kings and one queen, don't play dirty tricks."
The two men then paid for a hotel room.
The first activity, of course, was for everyone to take off their clothes. I felt like I got a good deal this time, since I could see two people at once.
High-nosed guy: "You take your clothes off first."
Small-eyed boy: "You take yours off first~"
High-nosed guy: "You take your clothes off first~~"
Small-eyed boy: "You take yours off first~~~"
High-nosed guy: "You take your clothes off first~~~~"
Small-eyed boy: "You take yours off first~~~~~"
Me: "Damn you two brats, do you have a 'Bright Sword' anxiety? I'll take my clothes off first! ~~~~ But I'll take mine off in the shower first. Anyone who wants to come in and play with us, take your clothes off. No clothes allowed!"
Whoosh, I finished taking off my shirt, and the two bastards had already stripped naked and gone into the shower room.
Let's all take our time to appreciate each other's figures:
The guy with the high nose is already hard, and it looks to be 16cm long and 3.5cm in diameter. It's definitely fleshy enough!
Wow, that tiny guy! It's a size 5 battery!!! And it's already erect. He's 1.8 meters tall, and it's just a thumb. Is it because being tall means he's growing taller and stealing nutrients from his penis?
Pictures don't lie.
Me: "How can you be so small? If you're so small, I might as well play with my fingers."
Small-eyed boy: "Sister, give me a chance. I'm small, but I'll work hard. Although my penis is small, my spirit is strong. I can give oral sex." Okay, I've never experienced being penetrated while someone else licks me.
Me: "Hey, you with the high nose, do you have a problem with that?"
High-nosed guy: "It's not like it's happening to me, what does it have to do with my ass? If you're willing to give him a chance, then give him one. If you're not interested, then I'll have a one-on-one session with you."
Me: "Let's all go together!"
The two men were trying to squeeze into the bathtub to have their way with me, but there wasn't enough space at all. It was like being boiled like dumplings, and it wasn't fun at all. Forget about getting started, there wasn't even room for me to turn around. The shower floor was slippery, and if one of them slipped and died halfway through, it would be a disaster. So I kicked those two bastards out, took a shower myself, and told them to lie on the bed and wait for me.
The two men stared at each other, extremely embarrassed, and tried to make conversation.
Small-eyed guy: "My name is Wei, I work in real estate. What's your name?"
High-nosed man: "Call me Ah Jin, I work in transportation."
Small-eyed guy: "This is my business card. You can contact me if you need to buy a house."
The man with the high nose: "I also have business cards. If you need a driver, you can call me. My car is a 7-seater minivan."
Small-eyed boy: "That's great! Sometimes I wish I could hire a driver. You know, a driver is very important. It has to be someone you know well."
High-nosed man: "Then please take good care of me from now on."
Small-eyed guy: "We've all slept together, slept with the same woman, so we're all on the same side."
High-nosed guy: "Yeah, it's like family ties doubly strong~~~~~.....Are your parents still alive?"
Small-eyed boy: "You're very healthy. Where are your parents?"
High-nosed man: "I'm fine, I'm fine, thanks for your concern... Do you have any siblings?"
Small-eyed boy: "I'm an only child."
The guy with the high nose: "Me too." Then the two idiots started shaking hands. "The one-child policy is really a killer! My mom wanted to have more children but couldn't."
Small-eyed boy: "Yeah, if you have more children than allowed, you'll lose your job and won't be able to make ends meet..."
I continued showering... while the two of them continued bragging...
Small-eyed boy: "Could you do me a favor later?"
High-nosed guy: "Okay, but let me make this clear first, I'm not gay, so I absolutely won't mess with your ass."
Small-eyed boy: "That puts my mind at ease... But! That's not what I'm talking about... I wanted to ask you, could you please not make your penis stick out so long? How should I put it, my little penis is a little jealous."
High-nosed guy: "Then you're deliberately making things difficult for me. The length of my penis isn't something I can control. You're already 1.8 meters tall, do you think I can ask you to shrink down?"
Small-eyed boy: "I can, I can bend over."
High-nosed guy: "My penis doesn't have a waist, so I can't bend over."
...
High-nosed man: "You're a real estate agent?"
Small-eyed guy: "The most labor-intensive job in real estate brokerage—Street Fighter"
High-nosed guy: "Street Fighter? Chun-Li, Red Kane, White Kane, Lion King, Soviets, arcade games?"
Small-eyed boy: "Have you noticed those people on the street often holding up signs that say things like 'Great Deals,' 'Limited-Time Shops,' or 'New Developments'? I'm one of those sign-holders, it's really hard work."
High-nosed man: "Do you think the real estate industry is doing well or not?"
Small-eyed boy: "Many buildings are empty, and many people can't afford to buy a house."
High-nosed guy: "That's just how China is, always talking about controlling housing prices, what a load of crap."
Small-eyed boy: "Building one floor doesn't cost much, but there are many intermediate steps that require money. We work hard to support the government."
The man with the high nose said, "That's right. Gas is expensive, highway tolls are expensive, and all the money we earn goes to corrupt officials."
Men are just so boring. No matter when, they sit down and start talking about politics. They talk about it while eating, while riding in a car, while at work, and even while having a threesome.
Me: "I'm done showering, are you two ready?"
High-nosed guy: "Damn it, hurry up! We're getting so embarrassed waiting!"
Me: "From now on, I'm in charge. You two have to follow my orders, any questions?!"
Two bastards: "No problem!"
High-nosed guy: "What's the first part?"
This really stumped me. It's my first time playing a 3P game too, and I don't know the procedure. But I said I'd be the queen, so even if I'm just pretending, I have to act like I know how to play. Controlling the scene is all about creating the right atmosphere. How about we have a grand opening ceremony?
What should I do? I've never tried licking two penises at the same time before. Of course, I don't mean stuffing both penises in my mouth, my mouth would burst. I want to try licking two glans at the same time.
Me: "The grand battle between the two kings and the queen is about to begin. I'm going to lick both of your glans at the same time. You two face to face, glans to glans... Damn, I'm going to poke your dick... I don't mean you have to stick it in my mouth, it's glans to glans... Cooperate, my tongue doesn't split, the two glans need to be as close as possible... Did I hurt your dick? You're not cooperating, I need to adjust the position, okay, you need to be close together so I can lick..."
Suddenly, the guy with the high nose bounced away in the opposite direction. Hey, I just wanted to have a simple and grand opening ceremony, why are you two making such a big fuss?
Me: "What are you doing? When did I say I was going to bounce away? I haven't even licked it yet!"
The guy with the high nose: "I didn't want to either. I don't know why, but the moment my glans touched his, I involuntarily bounced away. Maybe it's the universal law that like repels like."
Me: "Alright, alright, let's begin."
High-nosed guy: "What are you playing, Your Majesty?"
I hate it when people ask me what I'm doing, and I don't know either. It puts so much pressure on me. Ah... how about a human sandwich? Two men sandwiching me, what a powerful physical experience!

Me: "Small-eyed guy, lie down." Small-eyed guy lay down, and I lay on top of him. I called on the tall-nosed guy to come and do me. Small-eyed guy's butt was like a fleshy cushion. I had someone squeezing me from both the front and back. It was such a comfortable physical experience.
Small-eyed boy: "Damn it, you two are doing it up there, and I'm lying down doing it on the bed. I'm not playing anymore!"
Me: "What do you want?"
Small-eyed boy: "I want to be facing up, so you and I can be face to face. I don't have any other way to kiss you."
Me: "OK, approved!"
The skinny-eyed guy was lying flat, and I lay on top of him, starting to kiss him. The high-nosed guy started poking around wildly, making me fall over and over. What kind of kissing was that?! Now it's just rubbing against each other's mouths, and my front teeth are hitting the skinny-eyed guy's mouth!!!
Small-eyed guy: "Didn't you see I was kissing?! What the hell are you doing, banging your dick around like that?!"
Big-nosed guy: "I'm obviously swooning over her, is there a problem with that?"
Small-eyed boy: "I'm doing foreplay now, you can come back later."
Big-nosed guy: "I'm so excited, I can go in now!"
Me: "Who's the queen now? I'm the one who decides. Little shrew, I bumped your mouth and it's bleeding. I'm afraid you won't be able to kiss me anymore. Maybe I should turn over and rest for a bit."
Small-eyed boy: "Okay, I'll lie flat, you lie flat, I still have my hands, at least I can grab your breasts to add to the fun."
I got into position, and the big-nosed guy climbed on top of me and started doing it. The big-nosed guy's penis was bigger, and I wasn't very wet, so he couldn't penetrate me. He pressed down on me forcefully. The small-eyed guy couldn't reach my breasts, so he desperately pushed against the big-nosed guy's chest. Then, with a flip, the human sandwich disintegrated.
Big-nosed guy: "What's going on? You said you were going to grab my breasts, why are you grabbing mine?"
URL 1: https://www.69park5.com/htmlBlog/50214.html
URL 2: /Blog.aspx?id=50214&aspx=1
Last access time:
Previous article:
Next article:

URL 1:https://www.sexlove5.com/htmlBlog/50214.html

URL 2:/Blog.aspx?id=50214&aspx=1

Previous Page : My wife and I had our first successful threesome.

Next Page : SF BJ Chapter 2

增加

comment Open a new window to view comments

Contact Information

The funniest 3P

comment Open a new window to view comments