A true story (good article, reposted)

My wife's true story [Repost]
I am an ordinary government official, married for over ten years. Like many men, I love my wife dearly. However, I also succumb to various temptations and frequently engage in extramarital affairs. --Let me clarify, I never visit prostitutes. It's not that I look down on prostitutes, but I simply find them too dirty. Due to my work, I often come into contact with some very outstanding women. All men have the same flaw: even if you let them marry a beauty like Diao Chan, they'll eventually get tired of her. Therefore, men neglect their wives and set their sights on women other than their wives, creating many lonely women in the world. Actually, it's an interesting vicious cycle: men neglect their wives and focus their attention on other men's wives. As a result, their own wives also become targets for other men's advances. To some extent, to put it nicely, it's called karma; to put it bluntly, it's called retribution. At this point, I need to clarify that what I'm describing is not an erotic story. I'm simply trying to honestly share some of my experiences and journey as a man married for nearly twelve years, hoping to offer some inspiration, reflection, or lessons to others like me who have been in the "walled city" of marriage for so long. Family is always a man's final haven, and his wife is always his closest and most cherished woman. Arguments aren't scary, estrangement isn't scary, and infidelity isn't scary either, as long as you have the courage to face them head-on. Experiencing setbacks is okay; experiences are actually a form of wealth. Some setbacks or hardships might even benefit you for life. As men, we have an undeniable responsibility to cherish the woman who accompanies us through life.

(II) Shortly after graduating from university, I met my wife. She worked at a bank, just an ordinary teller at the time, and graduated from a vocational school affiliated with a bank. She already had a boyfriend she'd been dating for a year. He was her senior from the previous year; because he was ambitious, after working for a few years, he took the entrance exam for a full-time vocational college and returned to school, which allowed me to steal him away. My wife is a year younger than me, with a slender and graceful figure, sexy and charming, with bright, innocent eyes. During that time, I felt like I was living in a honey pot, even waking up smiling from my dreams. During our courtship, I tried many times to seduce her, but she always firmly refused. Young people in their early twenties today might not understand this, but more than ten years ago, sex was a rather serious topic. Therefore, I didn't truly possess her until our wedding night. Gazing at the radiant, peach-blossom-like virgin blood on the white sheets, my wife was more beautiful than a pure angel in my eyes. Actually, I've never had a deep obsession with virginity. Moreover, premarital sex wasn't very common in those days, so everything seemed perfectly natural to me. Like all newlyweds, we didn't miss any opportunity to be intimate. We'd make love two or three times a night, and sometimes even during the day at home, a single glance between us could ignite a spark, and we'd immediately undress and roll around naked together. During that time, I was severely exhausted, yet still full of energy. The most outrageous time was when, after our passion, I fell asleep on top of her without getting off immediately. She didn't want to move, so I slept on top of her for over five hours. -- Even now, recalling this, I feel like I owe my wife a lifetime of unrequited love. A year later, we had a child, a lovely daughter. After having a child, most of my energy shifted to her. The passion between us gradually faded. During this period, I had an affair with my college classmate. This story isn't unusual; the probability of infidelity between classmates is the highest. I went to her city on a business trip, and we drank a lot together. Then she came to my hotel with me. We chatted for a while, but there wasn't much substance to it; it was all nonsense about college life. Suddenly, there was an awkward silence, and we just stared at each other. I don't know who made the first move, but we suddenly hugged each other, kissed passionately, caressed each other, and finally rolled onto the bed. The moment I entered her body, my wife's lovely face flashed through my mind. This thought instantly killed my interest, and I went limp after only a few thrusts. My mind went blank. My classmate, unaware of the reason, kindly comforted me, saying I might not have rested well from being away from home. I lay on the bed, numbly holding her, feeling like a beast, even imagining myself kneeling before my wife begging for forgiveness. Later, my female classmate knelt between my legs and gently caressed me with her mouth. My wife had never liked giving me oral sex, and the few times she did, it was always with great effort. Therefore, my female classmate's stimulation unleashed my primal instincts, and I rolled over and pinned her beneath me, this time doing it with unbridled pleasure. Looking at my female classmate's face, contorted with excitement beneath me, I experienced a completely new kind of ecstasy. After this incident, I felt ashamed for a while. Out of a desire to atone, I often took the initiative to do housework and was extra considerate to my wife for a period of time. However, a leopard can't change its spots, and before long, I started having these inappropriate thoughts again. In the following years, I had numerous affairs with other women, and my neglect of my wife worsened. Men who have been married for a long time know that a wife's intuition about her husband is often very accurate. It's just that men generally overestimate their intelligence, always thinking their lies are flawless. In reality, a wife doesn't need evidence to judge her husband's behavior, because they are born with the most lethal weapon: intuition. A few years later, my career was going well; I was promoted to head of an important department. And I had a steady mistress, a charming and alluring woman. I reveled in this double life, neglecting my wife even more. By this time, we had sent our child to my parents' house, partly to keep them company and partly to allow us to relive our romance. But although the child was gone, the passion between us seemed to have vanished forever. And frankly, my main focus was on my mistress. My wife was basically dispensable to me; we made love less and less often. She's a reserved woman, always hinting at her desires with body language, but I increasingly ignored her advances. Subconsciously, I thought my wife was mine anyway, so I didn't need to care so much; it was my mistress who needed to be pampered. Until that incident happened…

(III) About eight years ago, on a Sunday, I habitually woke up early. My wife was still sleeping in bed. After I finished washing up, I went back to the bedroom and glanced at her. She was still asleep. I said, "I'll go buy breakfast." After saying that, I walked across the living room to the door, put on my shoes, and opened the door. At that moment, I suddenly needed to go to the bathroom, so I closed the door behind me. Our bathroom is next to the bedroom door, so I turned around and went into the bathroom. Sitting on the toilet, I picked up a magazine and slowly read it. One article in the magazine caught my attention, and I calmly sat on the toilet and read it carefully. Just then, I heard my wife walking around in the living room in slippers. I thought she was going to the bathroom, so I mischievously stayed seated. To my surprise, the sound of a phone dialing came from the living room, and it was on speakerphone. Our phone is in the corner of the living room, not far from the bathroom, so I heard it very clearly. The call connected, and a man answered. What my wife said next struck me like a thunderbolt: "Honey, are you up?" The man replied, "I've been up for ages, honey. Why are you calling from the home phone? Isn't your husband home?" My wife said, "He went out to buy breakfast." The man asked, "What time will you be here?" My wife said, "I don't know, I'm waiting for him to go out to play mahjong." (On weekends, I rarely spend time with my wife; I'm usually out with friends.) The man said, "No rush, I'll wait for you. What do you want to eat? I'll go buy it." My wife said in an unusually gentle voice, "No need, honey, I'll buy it and bring it over. It's on my way. That's all for now. I have to go now; my husband should be back soon." --The call ended. At that moment, I was stunned in the bathroom, my vision blurred, and I was trembling with rage. My instincts told me to rush out immediately, but reason told me to stay calm. A strange voice kept asking in my ear: How could this happen? How could this happen...? Later, every time I recalled that scene, I felt extremely frightened: if my wife had gone into the bathroom after hanging up the phone, the situation would have been uncontrollable. Moreover, my wife would suspect me of being a shameless eavesdropper and spy. For her, being exposed would lead to a psychological breakdown. Fortunately, after hanging up the phone that day, my wife went back to bed. I, however, was stuck in the bathroom, unsure whether to go in or out. My reason kept reminding me to control myself, to absolutely control myself. I desperately needed to find a place to sort out my thoughts, because I had to face reality. So I left the bathroom as quietly as possible, deliberately opening and closing the bedroom door loudly, making it seem like I had just returned from outside. Then, in a very calm voice, I called out to the bedroom, "Honey, breakfast is sold out. I couldn't get any. Get up and cook some porridge yourself later. I have something to do and I'll be back in a bit." My wife, pretending to have just woken up, said from the bedroom, "So annoying! Can't even let someone sleep in on the weekend?" I didn't say anything, turned around, and left the house. The neighborhood was quiet and solemn on the weekend. A few elderly people were practicing Tai Chi in the distance. The weather was clear, but I felt the sky was black.

(IV) Walking alone in the neighborhood, I felt completely empty, as if I were walking on cotton. Occasionally, I would run into acquaintances who greeted me, and I would just nod blankly. I sat down on a stone bench in a corner of the neighborhood. The stone bench was icy cold on this early summer morning, but I couldn't feel it anymore. At this moment, only one question kept popping into my head: What should I do? Perhaps it was related to the coldness of the stone bench, because soon I felt myself trembling. But my mind slowly calmed down, and I began to think about the following questions: 1. What should I do? Should I expose him? It would be easy to expose him. Even if my wife denied it, I could just check the phone records at the telecommunications company to find out who the man was. But what good would it do to expose him? The only result would be that we would tear each other apart and shatter the last bit of affection. My once unforgettable lover would become a stranger, or even an enemy. 2. Should I pretend that I don't know anything and slowly think of a way out? But the thought of my beloved wife being naked and entangled with another man made my head spin. Thinking about this, I even had the urge to kill. After the stone bench was littered with my cigarette butts, I began to fully sober up. I started recalling the women I had been involved with over the years. Most of them had lovely children, warm homes, and husbands who deeply loved them. So, when I was with them in bed, why did I never think about their husbands' feelings? The ancients said, "Do not do to others what you would not have them do to you." I asked myself, each of those women was a good woman; they were all qualified mothers and virtuous wives. On another level, while I had no intention of defiling them when I was with them, I still loved my own wife. Similarly, when they were with me, they still loved their own husbands. Even if the passion between them had faded, the blood ties between them and their husbands were irreplaceable. So, for me, could any other woman in this world replace my wife? The answer is no. Although my wife had definitely cheated on me—that was beyond doubt—compared to my absurdity, what did her behavior amount to? So, the most important thing I should do, and the only thing I can do right now, is to make amends, not to cause further damage. Otherwise, the harm will be permanent. Thinking about the date my wife mentioned on the phone earlier, I felt a wave of dizziness. So I quickly made two decisions: first, pretend I knew nothing; second, I had to stop this date; I couldn't let her go any further. With that in mind, I ran to the flower shop across the street and bought my wife a bouquet of pink roses. This was only the second time I'd bought her flowers; the first time was before we got married, when I was courting her. Years had passed in the blink of an eye, and it all felt like a lifetime ago. When I got home with the flowers, my wife had already finished washing up and was cooking in the kitchen. Looking at the flowers in my hand, she was surprised and asked, "Didn't you deliver them? Your lover isn't home?" -- I don't even remember when we started talking to each other in this sarcastic tone. A wave of sadness washed over me. I went to my wife, hugged her tightly, and buried my face in her chest. She noticed my unusual behavior and asked, "What's wrong?" Tears streamed down my face. I tried to hide my feelings, saying, "Nothing. I just saw an elderly couple walking together, supporting each other, and it suddenly made me think about how difficult life really is..." My wife had never seen me cry like this before. She seemed a little lost, patted my shoulder, and said, "Don't think about that. Come on, go watch some TV. Breakfast will be ready soon." At breakfast, I had no appetite. I just stared blankly at my wife. She was again bewildered by my reaction and asked, "What's wrong? Why did you come back looking like a delicate flower after just one morning's walk?" I didn't answer, but gently stroked her face. After breakfast, I sat casually on the sofa watching TV, observing what my wife would do next. A little while later, my wife asked me, "Aren't you going out today?" I said, "Nowhere, I'm staying home with my wife." Then, my heart pounding, I asked back, "Is something wrong?" My wife hesitated for a moment and said, "Something came up at work... but it's not urgent, we can get it done on Monday." I said, "Then stay home, or I can go shopping with you..." Around noon, I excused myself to buy cigarettes and went out. I thought, maybe my wife needs an opportunity and time to make a phone call...

(V) That weekend, my wife didn't go to her date. In the afternoon, I took her to KFC. Before this, I had always hated junk food, but to make her happy, I pretended to like it and went with her. Afterwards, I couldn't resist secretly checking her phone bill. I didn't find any clues, but that didn't mean anything, because cell phones were rare back then, and even a basic pager with Chinese display cost over two thousand yuan. I also couldn't check my wife's pager. All I could do was go home on time every day, spend as much time as possible with my wife, and give her more care and love. While doing these things, I endured indescribable torment. Scenes of her having sex with another man kept flashing through my mind, and I often dreamed about them, each scene as if it were happening right before my eyes. I made excuses to go to her office many times (by then, she had been promoted to a minor department head), but there were five people in her office, and I couldn't confirm if that man was one of them. Actually, who he was wasn't important; it was just that the curiosity, anger, and humiliation kept surging within me, making it impossible for me to extricate myself. All I could do was fulfill my responsibilities, or rather, make up for what I hadn't done well before. For my wife, this was a form of compensation, but for me, it was a deserved punishment. The initiative had been handed over to my wife. During that time, I basically cut off contact with my lover. When facing him, I felt no interest whatsoever, and there was a vague resentment, as if she was the cause of it all. During that period, whenever I had sex with my wife, I often couldn't control the inexplicable urges, as if I were competing with someone from the shadows. At the time, I hadn't read any rational articles about dating or group sex, and even if I had, I couldn't accept those seemingly unconventional methods. I only occasionally searched online for some psychological counseling articles about my wife's infidelity. Later, I found that reading many of the so-called experts' pretentious writings only made me more depressed; it was better not to read them at all. Some say time is the best healer, and that's very true. After my persistent efforts, my wife finally started communicating with me more often, and we rediscovered the feeling we had back then. We both enjoy drinking beer. Once, we drank ten bottles of beer at home and still weren't satisfied, so we went out for barbecue late at night, drinking and chatting, talking about everything under the sun, including our children and our future aspirations. However, I always adhered to one principle: I never mentioned her infidelity. Several times, she clearly intended to confess, but I pretended not to care and changed the subject. Looking back now, I realize it was because I was cowardly; I couldn't resolve this inner conflict myself. So I chose to avoid the topic, trying to forget it and leave the problem to time. Seeking common ground while respecting differences is definitely a good approach. After weathering this storm, my relationship with my wife underwent a qualitative change: beyond that of husband and wife, we were often closer than confidants. Harmony increased, arguments decreased, and our hearts drew closer. Many times, I even felt a deep, heartfelt love for her, like that for my own daughter. After some time, when I felt the time was right, I confessed to her about my first affair with a female classmate, and other experiences (God forgive my reservations, because I had gone too far and feared she wouldn't be able to accept it. Also, I felt that if I revealed all these wounds to her without reservation, given that I had already realized my mistakes, she might not be able to handle the heavy psychological impact. In a way, this might be a kind of benevolent deception, because it was based on the premise that I truly realized my errors). Actually, she already knew many of my things before I confessed, but she didn't expose me for the sake of our family and children. She also voluntarily told me about her only extramarital affair. She spoke calmly, and I listened calmly as well: it turned out the man was a major client of their bank, a very considerate man with a happy family. During the time I neglected my wife, he approached her. According to my wife, during her relationship with that man, she was constantly tormented by emotions and conscience. She initially accepted him largely out of revenge against me, and only secondarily out of emotional and physical needs. But after the affair, she discovered things were far more complex. The reason for the affair was her husband's betrayal, and afterwards, she felt even more guilty towards herself—a painful self-inflicted wound. Since that unfortunate Sunday, my wife was overjoyed to accept my change, and things underwent a qualitative shift: since that Sunday, my wife sensed I might know something, but I never mentioned these sensitive matters, for which she was very grateful. Furthermore, I continuously showed my care and consideration for my wife through my actions, and she voluntarily ended her ambiguous relationship with that man, transforming them from lovers into normal, ordinary friends. Later, I became friends with that man, but that's another story. Looking back now, through the process of saving my marriage and love, I also saved her and me.

(VI) As time passed, our lives seemed to get back on track. For the next two or three years, I didn't touch any woman other than my wife. The lesson from before was too profound. However, there was a very troublesome problem: that scene from back then hadn't faded with time; instead, it became clearer and clearer. This mental block had been bothering me. Many couples like to say some inappropriate things when they're excited during sex. This is a normal behavior that can increase excitement and pleasure. Later, I often asked my wife this when she was close to orgasm: "Was it comfortable when you were with your lover?" At first, my wife, still in a daze, remained wary and said, "No, he's not as good as you." While moving vigorously, I gritted my teeth and said, "Tomorrow I'll find a hundred men to tie you up and play with you!" My wife was completely out of it and kept cheering. In the end, we both reached orgasm at the same time. Later, I frequently changed my tactics. For example, when my wife was excited, I would mention her favorite male celebrity: "Honey, you're having sex with Chow Yun-fat right now." She would nod excitedly, and then I would ask, "Want to do it with other men?" She would obediently answer, "Yes, but my husband is still the best..." So, sometimes I would pretend to be her boss, sometimes her classmate, and sometimes even a stranger. Every time I did this, the quality of our sex was surprisingly good. But when the passion faded, if I asked her, "What did you just say?" she would definitely deny it outright: "I didn't say anything, you're such a pervert." Sometimes I would think privately that I might actually be a bit perverted. But if this perversion could bring harmonious marital happiness, then it couldn't be considered perverted. Although I knew the result was good, at the time I couldn't explain why it was good, or what made it good. And, deep down, I still had an unresolved knot in my heart—I still felt that I was a bit perverted. To clarify: I had told my wife all these doubts without reservation, without any concealment. My wife, however, was dismissive, always saying, "I think you're just bored and full of wild ideas. You're torturing yourself." It wasn't until a few years ago, when I started reading articles about multiple partners or partner swapping, and reflecting on my own experiences, that I began to rationally and honestly analyze myself. Ultimately, it was the respected Li Yinhe who helped me resolve my inner conflict. After reading extensively on her sociology and ethics, my inner turmoil was completely resolved. At the very least, I realized: I am a normal person. I don't know if this is human nature, or perhaps I simply possess this nature and potential.

(VII) Before continuing, I'd like to briefly mention Li Yinhe. I don't know how many people have actually read Ms. Li Yinhe's writings. There's a constant stream of criticism against her online. I've read many articles criticizing her, most of which focus on her disruptive influence on marriage and family stability. Everyone presents themselves as pure and noble Confucian gentlemen, praising the beauty of marriage while simultaneously and morally negating Li Yinhe and her professional views. Many believe that both men and women should be faithful to their spouses and remain faithful until death. -- Here I declare that I completely agree with this view. However, reality often differs from ideals. Humans are complex, and this complexity stems from the complexity of human nature. Human nature isn't entirely good; it also contains evil, and many things exist that are ambiguous, existing in a gray area between good and evil. For example, I don't consider myself a bad person, but is it really that easy to distinguish between good and bad? When I betrayed my wife, to her, I was an absolute villain. But faced with the reality that I've become the villain, should my wife kill me? Or should I resolutely abandon the marriage? Is it a rational attempt to salvage the situation, or a complete rejection? I think every wise person wouldn't choose to throw the baby out with the bathwater. I've always been very confused by a crucial point held by those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe: they believe that having an extramarital affair is normal, as long as one is careful and doesn't let their spouse find out—it's a white lie. I think if this idea were accepted by most people, how terrible the world would be: when faced with a wife's or husband's vows, you would have to wonder: isn't his or her declaration also a white lie? As a husband, you can put yourself in her shoes: if your wife has been unfaithful, but she's hidden it well, so you don't know, do you think this behavior is normal or not? As a husband or wife, when faced with "open communication" and a flawless so-called "white lie," which would you choose? If it were me, I would choose open communication. Compared to unwavering loyalty, betrayal is wrong, but a greater mistake is deception. The most heartbreaking aspect of a wife's or husband's betrayal is not the physical separation, but the emotional estrangement. --The devastating blow is when you suddenly discover that the person you trust most has been deceiving you all along. Many of Li Yinhe's articles help us recognize this more clearly. Therefore, those who vehemently criticize Li Yinhe are not so much rejecting her, but rather refusing to wake up and escape the quagmire of self-deception. Every married person can personally attest to this: marriage is a partnership between two people. Many things cannot be changed by your own wishes. For example, my wife was always a devoted wife and mother, virtuous and kind, yet I still cheated on her. Many aspects of human nature are unavoidable. If you don't want to deceive yourself, you must bravely face them.

(VIII) My wife and I's life finally got back on track. It seemed that only then did we truly begin to love each other. Especially the emotional intimacy, which is indescribable. Gradually, my wife developed a habit: no matter what happened at work or outside, she would tell me all about it, asking for my advice on her troubles and sharing her joys with me. Each time, I listened attentively. Many times, my wife nestled in my arms and said emotionally, "Honey, even if we're not husband and wife in the future, I believe we'll still be best friends." -- For a man, these simple words are more precious than ten thousand "I love you"s. Once, a female classmate I had a passionate encounter with came to our city for a conference. Since that time, we hadn't been very close; sometimes we'd call to say hello, occasionally exchanging sweet words, but it was more like playful banter. My wife had seen her picture in my graduation yearbook and heard my stories about her, so she wasn't entirely unfamiliar with her. I told my wife that she was coming for the conference. My wife jokingly said, "Want to rekindle old flames? Want me to make room for you?" I went along with it, "No need, you don't take up much space. Our bed is big, three people can sleep comfortably." Hearing this, my wife called me a pervert and then rushed over to pinch me. Originally, I just wanted to treat my female classmate to a meal and show her around the city; I hadn't planned on giving her any special hospitality, as the conference organizers had already arranged her accommodations. But my wife insisted that since her classmate was visiting, we should at least invite her over. I knew perfectly well what my wife's reaction meant: she was taking the initiative, using offense as defense. On the day my classmate arrived, my wife took a day off to accompany me to the airport. Her explanation was, "This shows how much we value her." My classmate was quite surprised by my wife's appearance, as I hadn't told her beforehand. But there was no need to worry; women are natural diplomats, masters of appearances. Within five minutes of meeting, the two women, each with their own hidden agendas, were like sisters separated for decades. As I drove, I glanced at the two women whispering in the rearview mirror and couldn't help but chuckle. Then both women attacked me at once. I thought to myself, "You two are putting on a really convincing show!" I dropped my classmate off at his place, sat for a while, and then the three of us went home. My wife ran around getting drinks and peeling apples. She whispered to me, "She's uglier than in the photos." Haha, that's women for you. After a while, my wife said, "You two chat for a bit. I'm going out to buy groceries. Let's not go out tonight, let's eat at home." Ignoring my classmate's protests, she left. I knew perfectly well that my wife wanted to give us some time alone. This cunning woman had a firm grip on the situation, but on the surface, she was impeccably discreet. She wanted to be involved, but didn't want me to notice her jealousy. After my wife left, my classmate and I remained seated, completely oblivious to my wife's enthusiastic antics. We had both lost the desire to do anything naughty. My classmate said, "Your wife is so nice, I can tell. You two are so happy..." I went over, gently hugged her, and asked, "If I told him about us, guess what she would do?" My classmate was startled and said, "She'd definitely kill me." I laughed and said, "You're shameless, sleeping with someone else's husband and then acting all intimate with him so naturally." My classmate kicked me: "You seduced me." Half an hour later, my wife came back from grocery shopping. The two women were busy in the kitchen, and I couldn't help, so I lay on the bed watching TV. My wife sneaked over and asked me, "While I was away, you two didn't do anything wrong, did you?" I grabbed my wife's hand and tried to stuff it into my pants, saying, "Here, check for yourself." My wife laughed and pulled away, returning to the kitchen.

(ix) Dinner was sumptuous, and the atmosphere at the table was harmonious. I drank baijiu (Chinese white liquor), while my wife and my classmate drank red wine. At first, my classmate talked about her and her husband's trivial matters, as well as some embarrassing things I did in school; later, my wife reminisced about our relationship from the time we met to when we fell in love. Work, career, family, and so on. One moment she was laughing heartily, and the next she was shedding a few tears. Later, they finished their red wine and started drinking beer. In the blink of an eye, four bottles of beer were gone, and they started fighting with me over the baijiu. I was very afraid that they would say something they shouldn't if they got drunk, so I held onto the baijiu bottle tightly. As a result, the two women quickly reached an agreement: "We won't drink that crap, we'll go out and buy some now." After saying that, they were about to leave, and I tried to stop them by blocking the door, but I was punched and kicked by the two women. Helpless, I had to let them go. In the blink of an eye, the two women came back with a bunch of beer. However, they didn't drink much after that, but continued to chatter about those seemingly endless topics of life. In this way, before we knew it, it was past eleven o'clock at night. My classmate suggested we go back to the hotel. My wife firmly disagreed. The hotel was far from our home, and my wife was worried about my safety driving after drinking. She also couldn't bear to let me take a taxi home alone, so she suggested my classmate stay at our house for the night. --By this time, we had moved to a bigger house, with an extra small bedroom for my parents who often stayed over. Seeing this, my classmate didn't refuse much and agreed to let me stay. After a quick wash, my wife and I got into bed. My wife's reaction was unusually passionate; she clung to me like a snake, kissing and biting me. She screamed and shouted without restraint beneath me. I tried to cover her mouth to stop her screaming, but it was futile; I couldn't stop her defiant screams. After the passion subsided, I quickly fell asleep due to the alcohol. I don't know how much time had passed, but I woke up thirsty from the alcohol. Just as I was about to get up to get some water, I suddenly noticed my wife staring at me with wide eyes. I was startled and asked her, "Why aren't you asleep yet?" She said, "I can't sleep, I just haven't been able to." I reached out and pulled her into my arms. "What's wrong, darling?" She said, "Nothing, just overthinking." I said, "What are you thinking about now? Tell me." She hesitated for a moment and asked, "Won't anything happen between you and her again?" I said, "Silly girl, trust me, I won't lie to you or hurt you again." My wife didn't say anything and buried her head in my chest. After a while, my wife suddenly stammered and said to me, "Why don't you go and see her..." This startled me, and I quickly said, "Don't be silly, be good, go to sleep." My wife said, "I'm not joking, and I'm not testing you. I'm telling you the truth. Go ahead." My mind raced, trying to figure out what was going on. Before I could understand, my wife added, "Come back in an hour." I didn't answer, but just silently hugged my wife and kissed her deeply. After a long silence, my wife said again, "Go on..." ... I pushed open the door to the small bedroom and quietly asked, "Are you asleep?" There was no answer. I walked to the bedside; my female classmate was lying face up with her eyes open. I pulled back the covers and lay down beside her, whispering, "Why aren't you asleep?" My classmate nudged me, saying urgently, "Are you crazy? Go back now, or we'll both be dead if your wife comes over." I said, "It's okay, I won't do anything. I'll just hold you for a bit, then I'll go back right away." My classmate sighed, turned around, and hugged me tightly, then whispered in my ear, "You're so brave! Aren't you afraid your wife will wake up and not be able to find you?" I sighed and said, "She already knows about us." Hearing this, my classmate didn't react with surprise, which puzzled me. I asked her, "Aren't you scared?" She thought for a moment and said, "Actually, your wife already told me when we went out to buy alcohol." I fell silent... We lay there quietly for a while, then she said, "Go back. I can't do anything to betray her again." I got up and walked towards my wife's room. Suddenly, an idea popped into my head. I quickly went back to the bedside, picked her up, and said, "Come here too." My classmate struggled and cursed at me, "Put me down, you bastard, do you want to die?" I ignored her and carried her to my wife's bedroom. As we entered, to cover my embarrassment, she deliberately called my wife's name loudly, saying, "Don't you care about your husband? Look at the mess he's made of!" My wife, equally surprised, said, "You two are just making a ruckus in the middle of the night instead of sleeping." I walked to the bed and slammed the woman onto it.

(X) My classmate tried to get up, saying, "I'm not going to argue with you anymore, I want to go back to sleep." My wife said, "Since you're already here, let's talk for a bit. I'm too drunk to sleep." Seeing this, my classmate readily lay down on the bed, still cursing me, "You really need to control your bastard husband." My wife laughed and pulled the blanket over her. I went around to the inside of the bed and lay down next to my wife. --I was on the innermost side, my wife in the middle, and she on the outermost side. The atmosphere became a little awkward. No one knew what to say, so I tried to make conversation with my wife, saying, "She hasn't slept either." My wife teased my classmate, "Even country bumpkins are too excited to sleep on their first trip to the city." My classmate said, "I'm trying to sleep, but you two are making such a racket, it's driving me crazy." I chimed in, "If I'd known it would be like this, I would have lent it to you." Before I could finish, my wife immediately said, "Yeah, it's not like we haven't used it before." My classmate said, "You two must be crazy." I pretended to be drunk and suddenly jumped between them. My classmate tried to get up and run away, but I pulled him back and wrapped my arm around him. So, I had one arm around her and the other around my wife. The three of us lay there silently, each feeling the other's heartbeat. Suddenly, a hand touched my penis; judging from the direction, it was my wife's. This scene, if written down for outsiders, might seem exciting, but at the time I was extremely nervous. Far from being excited, my penis felt completely limp, utterly devoid of feeling. My wife teased me, "You useless man, two beautiful women in your arms and you don't even react!" I turned and kissed my wife fiercely, breaking the ice. My female classmate also reached out and hugged me. The two women's hands alternately caressed my sensitive areas. Later, I moved to the outermost edge of the bed, and my wife and I embraced her from behind, caressing each other. Suddenly, she and my wife kissed. This was the first time I had truly witnessed two women caressing each other, and I never imagined it would feel so beautiful… At one point, I tried to penetrate my classmate, but it didn't work. My initially excited penis went limp as soon as it reached the entrance. I think it was probably because I was worried about my wife, afraid she wouldn't accept it, and also because I wasn't fully psychologically prepared. This strange feeling prevented me from completely letting go. However, the sensory stimulation was already insane enough. After a while of passion, the alcohol made me a little dizzy. The two of them cuddled together, chatting idly, and I slowly drifted off to sleep. The next morning, I was shaken awake. Opening my eyes, I saw it was my classmate, already dressed. I wasn't quite there yet. Looking at the bed, my wife wasn't there. I asked her, "Where's XX?" She said, "She's cooking in the kitchen. Get up." I pulled her close and kissed her. Then I got up. That was the end of it. My classmate attended a three-day conference, and when she left, my wife and I went to the airport to see her off. Seeing how reluctant they were to part, I realized they were both genuine. The feeling of ulterior motives had vanished. Afterwards, I talked to my wife about it several times, trying to understand her true motive for asking me to go to another room that night. Each time, she explained it the same way: "I drank too much." So I stopped pressing her. Now, this is how I understand my wife's behavior that night: First, there was an element of excitement, but not much. Secondly, perhaps it stems from a hidden sense of atonement within her. Although I don't believe she committed a grave mistake, that brief affair years ago remains a knot in her heart that she can't untie. Thirdly, she wants to use this method to firmly grasp my heart. These three factors may all be present, or perhaps none at all. If you carefully observe women, you'll discover many mysteries about them that you'll never fully understand.

(XI) After this near-NP experience, I purposefully read some articles about NP online. I discovered a very interesting phenomenon: the vast majority of men don't seem to really like the idea of two women and one man. Based on my experience, I think this sentiment is very real and quite normal. This isn't hard to understand. Since ancient times, Chinese people have considered sex a very ambiguous and shameful matter; the topic of sex has always been very sensitive. Although Confucius said long ago, "Food and sex are human nature," his later disciples, especially from Zhu Xi onwards, have consistently advocated the suppression of human nature. The suppression and abuse of women, in particular, is appalling. It's as if women, both physically and psychologically, are inherently appendages of men. Therefore, even today, many men still engage in extramarital affairs while shamelessly advocating "white deception," and some with a conscience, while unable to control themselves from seeking pleasure outside the marriage, endure guilt towards their wives. Some deeply ingrained traditional concepts are very difficult to break. Therefore, faced with their husbands' misbehavior, many women can only choose to turn a blind eye—a helpless concession. In most Chinese families, the economic foundation is generally controlled and dominated by men, which determines that women are also at a disadvantage in the superstructure of marriage. Furthermore, even in families where women are economically independent, their innate maternal instincts make them more family-oriented than men, giving them a stronger sense of responsibility towards children and the elderly. Coupled with some subconscious traditional patriarchal ideas, women can only suppress themselves. Returning to the initial topic of NP, so far, this topic is limited to online conversations with strangers. No one dares to mention this topic to familiar friends or relatives in real life, unless it's a friendship that has developed from online to real-life. Zhao Benshan once said in an interview, "In China, speaking a few truths is taken as humor." -- Yes, we have become accustomed to hypocrisy. Even more seriously, speaking the truth is often seen as perverted, even if the listener inwardly finds what you say perfectly normal, they will still verbally condemn you. For example, many of those currently condemning Li Yinhe are clearly insincere, yet they still vehemently denounce and condemn her. Rational people shouldn't be angry about this, because they are deceiving themselves. We shouldn't punish ourselves for the foolishness of others. Let's analyze the pressure on a man in a situation with two women and one man present, especially when his wife is present: First, psychologically, if you don't deeply love your wife, you don't need to do this; if you do love her deeply, you'll worry about her being jealous, angry, or unhappy. No matter how well you communicate beforehand, you can't eliminate this psychological pressure unless you're not a very responsible man. Second, physiologically, due to the physiological structure of men and women, unless both women have bisexual tendencies, one of them will always be excluded, and one woman will always be temporarily neglected. Even if the women don't mind this neglect, as a man, you'll experience an invisible pressure and guilt. This pressure and guilt can easily lead to weakness, making the whole process very regrettable. If that's the case, you might as well go on a date with your lover alone; that would be more passionate and wouldn't directly harm your wife. Since our unsuccessful near-multiple partner, my female classmate came to our city again. My wife still wanted her to stay with us, but I stopped her, and I felt really awkward. The three of us still get along very well, and when I'm alone with her, the previous ambiguity is gone. We occasionally hold hands, or hug and kiss, that's all. Sometimes, this kind of intimacy is more enjoyable than sex. She often calls my house, but most of the time she talks to my wife. Even when I answer, we only exchange a few words before I hand the phone to my wife, letting the two women chatter away. The topics are utterly boring to a man: for example, she just had a fight with her husband, so my wife helps her scold him; or my wife and I just had a fight, and they both join in on the phone, berating me. From that moment on, I completely broke off all contact with my former lover, and I never lied to my wife about having sex with other women again. This wasn't because I was particularly self-disciplined, nor was it because I was upholding any promise to my wife; it was entirely voluntary. Men who frequent hotels and restaurants often have this feeling: when you suddenly realize the warmth of home, you'll find that no matter how luxurious the hotel, it's not as comfortable as your own bed; no matter how lavish the banquet, it's not as delicious as the few simple dishes on your own dining table. When I recall my sexual encounters with other women, I truly feel that the most harmonious and comfortable sex came from my wife. That kind of intimate connection built on a solid emotional foundation is hard to achieve with other women. I can give two simple examples to illustrate this: when my wife and I are having sex, as soon as I try to close my legs, she immediately bends and raises them, even changing positions before I've stopped thrusting. What's most unbelievable is that no matter how deeply my wife sleeps, if I gently touch her head with my arm, she immediately lifts her head so I can put my arm under her head as a pillow, then turns and snuggles into my arms—this is entirely unconscious behavior. Sometimes I envy men who are so at ease in the world of pleasure; I wonder how they can be so passionate with strange women. I can't do that. I've always felt that sex should be based on feelings and communication; at the very least, the two people can't be complete strangers. Otherwise, the more you think about it, the more awkward it becomes. It's like a strange man on the street taking off his socks and handing them to you, and you keep wearing them—I think few people would agree to that. Due to my work, I've often had opportunities to frequent entertainment venues over the years, but without exception, I choose to drink or have tea alone. Colleagues and friends often sincerely praise me for being very virtuous. But little do they know that, in terms of bad deeds, I've probably done more than them, just in different ways. In essence, my past behavior of seducing respectable women was far more egregious.

(12) My wife is basically a computer novice. At work, she's limited to basic computer operations, and at home, she doesn't use the internet much. Her MSN usage is mostly limited to contacting classmates or family. Starting a few years ago, I occasionally showed her some of Li Yinhe's rational articles. --Here, I want to reiterate: Some people say that Li Yinhe is leading the public down a path of evil. This is absolutely a major misunderstanding. If behavior occurs after theory, then that theory may play a guiding role. However, when theory arises after behavior, it is a summary of that behavior. Only such a theory can be considered correct. This is what is commonly referred to as "theory originates from practice." Before Li Yinhe's rational analysis, homosexuality, sadomasochism, group sex, and other such things were all actually happening. Therefore, Li Yinhe did not mislead anyone. On the contrary, Li Yinhe only analyzed why you did what you did after it happened. She absolutely did not command you before your behavior occurred: what you should do. --This point must be understood first. Let me give you an example. Take a weaver bird, for instance. It makes its nest beautiful, but before finishing, it doesn't know what the nest will look like, nor does it understand the specific purpose of its actions. The process of weaving the nest is entirely instinctive—that's what animals are like. Humans are different. Humans possess agency; their behavior is simultaneously governed by will and consciousness. In other words, when humans do something, they know why they are doing it. This is what is commonly referred to as "proactive agency." However, we often find ourselves in a state of confusion, doing many things without understanding what we are doing or why we are doing them. Li Yinhe plays a crucial role in this: "Making you clear about why you did what you did, whether what you did was right or wrong," thus distinguishing humans from animals. It was with this initial intention that I consciously showed my wife Li Yinhe's articles. My reason for doing so was not to corrupt her (besides, it's impossible to corrupt her this way), but simply because I was worried that she might be influenced by my wife's writings. I was concerned that she might be influenced by my wife's writings and that her opinions might be negative. ∈率抵っ鳎艺庋觯峭耆返摹：罄雌拮佣晕宜担翘焱砩系霓虑椋笑煸缟闲丫埔院笏秃蠡诹耍?蠡诓皇且蛭鞫峁┗崛梦矣肱Р啵呛ε挛胰衔芟录鼙涮?K诤醯霓俏业母芯荫ε挛乙虼饲撇黄鹚2还业恼芬迹男睦碚习恕！ ∮惺痹诤推拮硬嗟霓焙颍一嵛仕骸赣龅胶苡判惊乃Ц绻霓焙颍忻挥绣袢恍亩母芯酢！ (13) Before continuing, I'd like to talk about "cheating." In many cases, cheating differs fundamentally between men and women: men cheat because they abandon reason, while women cheat because they awaken reason; men cheat primarily for
physical and sensory stimulation, while women cheat primarily for emotional connection. Desire is the direct cause of infidelity. However, the content of desire differs significantly between men and women when they cheat. Men's desires are closer to primal animalistic lust, while women's are different. Women's infidelity often stems from a desire for communication, a desire to be cared for and loved by the opposite sex, or even a desire for attention and respect ignited after long-term neglect by their husbands. This is precisely why I have always disliked reading purely erotic articles that portray women as extremely lewd and explicit. Unless it's a professional prostitute acting out of professional necessity, very few real women in life can genuinely portray themselves that way. This isn't hypocrisy, nor is it related to repression; it stems from a woman's nature. Let's talk about the word "infidelity." First, there are tracks, then there are trains running on them. Wherever the tracks lead, that's where the train goes. When the train is running normally on the tracks, it cannot be defined as "derailment." However, between husband and wife, if your tracks are limited to sexual communication between husband and wife, then when one party crosses this boundary, it's called infidelity. However, if the sexual relationship extends beyond the marriage and is genuinely accepted by both partners, then when the train of desire travels along the tracks laid out by the couple towards other people, it still doesn't constitute derailment. Where those tracks lead is entirely up to each couple. You can't force someone to do something against their will, nor can you simply imitate others; otherwise, the consequences will be very serious. Whenever I see men online desperately trying to get their wives to accept this kind of "couples dating," I worry for them. I want to ask: Do you truly understand the full meaning of couples dating? Are you truly psychologically prepared for this? Does your wife have sufficient psychological resilience? Is it merely a one-sided desire for that alternative stimulation? If so, I advise you to stop immediately and abandon this dangerous game unless you want to destroy your family. If you're only accepting couples dating to change the reality of a lack of passion in your marriage, if you're only trying to change the bland state of your relationship, it's like trying to find pleasure through drugs. The final damage will be fatal. For example, consider two couples who marry solely for physical intimacy without any emotional foundation. How long can such marriages last? Similarly, how long can the passion of hastily engaging in couple-based dating games for the sake of novelty last? When the passion fades, you will be unable to face the mundane reality of life. More seriously, you may also face unspeakable psychological barriers between you and your spouse. A healthy bird flying from an eighth-floor window faces the blue sky where it can soar freely, while a person flying from an eighth-floor window faces being shattered to pieces. Therefore, before attempting to fly out of a window, never forget to rationally examine whether you have wings capable of soaring through the sky. A word of caution to those eager to engage in couple-based dating games: be extremely cautious. Couple-based dating games can be a wonderful thing, but if done poorly, they can be fatal. Just like opium, a moderate amount of opium can be used as medicine to treat illnesses and save lives when the symptoms are right, but simply overdosing on it will damage a person's health.

(XIV) Let's leave aside those empty theories and continue telling our story. I believe many couples are very loving, so I want to ask my fellow men a question: Do you often feel that your wife is like your daughter? --Let me clarify that I am very averse to incestuous behavior. I'm referring to that kind of heartfelt love. Like every time I hold my daughter, feeling that little life warmly pressed against me. At that moment, you feel that this little life is your whole life. She is your whole world. When my daughter was very young, I often held her and said to my wife, "Honey, when I think about how one day some bastard will take our daughter away from me, I want to chop him up." My wife said, "Fine, you're ruthless. Let your daughter never get married." As my daughter grew up, because we were away from her for long periods, every time I saw her, I felt that her changes were so astonishing. From the moment she first called me "Dad," which moved me to tears, to now, when she deliberately teases me, I can't hit or scold my naughty daughter. In moments of anger, I can only hide away and slap myself a couple of times. However, most of the time, in my daughter's eyes, one word from her father is more effective than a thousand words from her mother. Many of my daughter's behaviors are considered outrageous by my wife, but she doesn't know that I secretly support many of her mischievous acts. For example, she often gives me random nicknames; she often associates me with some villain on TV. These behaviors were once intolerable to my wife, but I didn't care. I don't know if you've read Yang Jiang's writings about Qian Zhongshu; Qian Zhongshu was even more mischievous than his daughter. My wife, in my eyes, is another daughter. Don't be fooled by her serious demeanor in front of our daughter; when she's not home, she doesn't act like an adult at all. She sits and stands slouches, shakes her head, and even talks nonsense—all of this is entirely due to my influence. For example, when it's just the two of us at home, I often call her "My dear girl!" She replies, "You old geezer, what's up?" Sometimes I'm lying on the sofa reading a book, and she comes over and unzips my pants. I ask warily, "What are you doing?" She says, "None of your business." Then she pulls out my penis, holds it in her hand, tilts her head, and says to me, "This is mine!" I say, "Yes, it's yours, cut it off and take it." My wife says, "No, it has to be stored here with you. You have to take good care of it for me, and you're not allowed to lend it to anyone else without my permission..." When we're having sex, I often tease her like this: "Honey, I'm old and useless. I'll find you a handsome young man tomorrow." My wife will definitely act very impatient and say, "Okay, okay, hurry up, I've long since lost interest in you, you old geezer." Sometimes, I really do have the thought of finding a handsome young man for my wife. It's not because I enjoy imagining my beloved woman under another man's body; it's more about Confucius's saying: "Food and sex are human nature." Sex is as ordinary as eating. There's a song by Wakin Chau: "My dearest baby, I want to cross mountains to find the lost sun, to find the lost moon; my dearest baby, I want to cross oceans to find the lost rainbow, to catch the fleeting shooting star; I want to fly to the endless night sky, to pluck a star for you to play with; I want to touch the moon with my own hands, and write your name on it..." -- This song was sung by Wakin Chau to his daughter, but many people mistakenly think it's a love song. However, this misunderstanding is quite accurate; it is indeed a love song. Only men who truly love their wives can understand the song's meaning. My wife's first physical contact with another man was infidelity. That experience was painful for both of us, and the pain stemmed from the betrayal. However, even for couples who have never had an affair, psychologically speaking, both men and women may occasionally have a longing for other members of the opposite sex outside of marriage, and this longing is perfectly normal. In most cases, this longing or attraction is not necessarily due to a desire to betray, but simply a kind of curiosity. The reason why humans continue to explore is largely due to this curiosity about the unfamiliar. So, I decided to find an opportunity to satisfy my wife's curiosity, but this cannot be rushed. At the very least, I need to make her understand that her behavior is based on my unreserved support, and that I am her strong backing. Only under such circumstances can my wife relax without any worries.

(XV) Zhuangzi, one of the founders of Taoism, has always advocated governing by non-action, which is also the most basic concept of Taoism: non-action yet nothing is left undone. The ideas of various schools of thought in China are similar in many ways. For example, the idea of non-action. In military strategy, it is similar to Sun Tzu's strategic concept of "subduing the enemy without fighting". Of course, this kind of "non-action" is only superficial, similar to the saying "A gentleman loves money, but he acquires it in a proper way." So-called non-action doesn't mean doing nothing. For example, if you're an ordinary employee and you really want a promotion, but how do you get one? Ask the boss for a promotion? You might get fired immediately. In this situation, what you need to do most is to do your current job well and, when the opportunity arises, showcase your talents in tasks outside your job description. If you do this, it's impossible not to get promoted. This is the true meaning of "governing by non-action." Applying the idea of "governing by non-action" to a marital relationship means: don't deliberately try to find where your passion lies, don't be passionate for the sake of passion. If you truly love your wife and consider her your only one in this life (note that "only one" here refers to your only true love), if you truly consider your family your top priority, then prove it with your actions by wholeheartedly caring for and cherishing her. Based on my own experience, I'm telling you that if you truly love your wife, after making the above efforts, you and she will truly become best friends. In that case, whatever you want to do, she will support you—and this support will be genuine. To use a somewhat inappropriate analogy: it's like you can go to a brothel with your best friend without feeling awkward. -- So, if you want to try having a romantic relationship with your spouse, why wouldn't she support you? With the psychological barrier gone, would she refuse the opportunity to relax? This method is similar to the encirclement and suppression tactics used by the Eighth Route Army and the New Fourth Army during the War of Resistance Against Japan. You can try it; it might surprise you with unexpected results. And the ultimate winner will be you, your wife, and your family. Now, let's get back to our story. I've never seriously said to my wife, "Honey, I'm going to find you a handsome guy on a certain day to satisfy your curiosity." -- Although I occasionally tease her during sex, I never do it like that normally. No matter what she thinks, I feel awkward myself. In Taoist thought, there's a famous concept: "When things happen, respond with your heart; when things pass, let your heart rest." Many people know this saying, but many fail to put it into practice. I'm not saying this because I'm certain I've achieved it. For example, finding a wallet is "things happening," and I feel happy—this is "responding with your heart." However, if I lose my wallet, I can't "let my heart rest"; I'll feel heartbroken, as if my own flesh is being torn apart. That said, "it's difficult to do" shouldn't be a reason for rejection. Even if we can't do it completely, we can at least try to do a little bit, such as interpreting "responding with your heart when things happen" as "patiently waiting for the right opportunity." The opportunity finally arrives, but I hadn't anticipated it.

(XVI) One August, my wife and I decided to take our annual leave together and go on a tour. Before we got married, we often dreamed of traveling together to the rainforests of Xishuangbanna or the grasslands of Inner Mongolia, often imagining the romance of the ancient Loulan Kingdom and the pristine beauty of the Qinghai-Tibet Plateau. Many years have passed since we got married, and due to the constraints of work and life, our travel plans had been put on hold. This time, we finally made up our minds to leave behind all the seemingly endless trivialities and relax for half a month. We researched the best travel route for a long time, ultimately giving up on those places we had longed to visit because the time was too short. In the end, we signed up for a tour with China Railway Travel Service, starting from Zhangjiajie in Hunan and continuing to Guangzhou and Shenzhen. Our main destination was Zhangjiajie. Most of the people in the tour group were couples or lovers, and there were also families of three traveling together. There was only one lone wolf—a tall, handsome young man in his early twenties studying at a university in Guangzhou. Let's call him C. He spent the two weeks or so before the semester started traveling to school, having fun along the way. C was very outgoing, sunny, and cheerful. He was in the next berth to my wife and me on the train and quickly became friends with us. His youthful way of thinking and carefree style often made my wife and me laugh out loud, making us feel like we were back in our carefree student days. In the days that followed, he became our little helper. Whether shopping or in scenic spots, my wife and I traveled light—food and other necessities were all stuffed into his backpack. Even when shopping on the street, my wife would confidently shove large and small bags into his hands, saying in a commanding tone, "Carry these obediently." He would obediently take them, while deliberately making a miserable face, saying, "Oh God, why is my life so miserable?" I told him, "Just be happy about it. This is giving you a free lesson, letting you know how troublesome women can be, so you won't be caught off guard in the future." Some men may be born knowing how to get along with women. This little boy was one of those people. He often used some almost mischievous behavior to evoke my wife's tenderness. For example, while walking down the street, he would suddenly stop in front of a food stall and plead with my wife, "Sister, have pity on me, I'm starving!" My wife and I had no choice but to sit there with him, watching him devour those inexplicable snacks that neither my wife nor I were interested in. His wife, chin resting on her hand, looked at him with a beaming smile, as if she were facing her own brother or child. In Zhangjiajie, while hiking, his wife's new hiking shoes rubbed her heels raw, causing her to limp and suffer greatly without any spare shoes. We had brought band-aids, but they were in Xiao C's backpack, and Xiao C wasn't with the group. We didn't know where he'd gone off to have some fun. My wife, furious, sat on the ground cursing, "That damned thing! He left without a word! He should have left my bag!" I was at a loss, and could only comfort her, "If it's really necessary, you can wear my shoes. I'll walk barefoot." My wife said, "Fine, just bear with it. If you walk barefoot on this mountain path, I'll have to find someone to carry you down." Just as we were both frowning in worry, we saw Little C running up the mountain, panting and covered in sweat. Before he could say anything, my wife started yelling at him, "You rascal, where have you been? Hurry up and give me my bag!" Little C grinned without saying a word, and in the blink of an eye, as if by magic, he pulled a pair of shoes out of his bag. They were just ordinary rubber-soled cloth shoes, ugly in appearance, but very comfortable to wear. My wife and I were both very surprised and asked in unison, "Did you run down to buy shoes?" You know, that's a round trip of nearly four or five kilometers. Little C chuckled and said, "It's nothing, I'm an athlete, this little distance is nothing. I can cover it in the blink of an eye with my light-footed skills." He then handed his shoes to his wife, saying, "Sis, change into these quickly." This gesture moved my wife and me so much we didn't know what to say. After changing her shoes, my wife's discomfort completely disappeared. I said to Little C, "Give me your backpack quickly, you need to rest." Little C casually replied, "Brother, do you really look down on me? This little distance is nothing." Along the way, we took many photos together, but hadn't taken a group photo yet. During a rest break halfway up the mountain, Little C pulled out his camera and handed it to me. I said, "Why don't you take a picture with your sister?" My wife happily ran to his side, naturally wrapping her arms around his neck. Through the lens, I noticed Little C's face suddenly flushed red with embarrassment. After taking the picture, I teased Little C, saying, "You'd better be careful, don't let your girlfriend see this photo, or you're dead meat." Little C had calmed down by then and said, "What's there to be afraid of? Who can stop me from taking a picture with my older sister?" That night, back at the hotel, after showering, my wife lay on the bed, and I massaged her. My wife sighed and said, "Little C is such a good boy, I wonder which lucky girl will marry him." I said, "What? Getting a little craving? Should we go after him?" My wife slapped me and said, "Don't be so shameless, you're ruining a young man." I said, "What young man? If he hadn't gone to graduate school, he would be working by now. When I was his age, you would have already dragged me down with you." During the subsequent sex, I asked my wife again, "Honey, really, do you really like him? If you do, I'll arrange it for you." My wife thought for a moment and said, "I can't say it, it's so hard to say! I can't help but think about it, it's so hard to say!" She continued, still looking cheerful. In contrast, my wife was much quieter, probably because of our conversation last night. She lay on her bunk quietly reading a magazine, but every time Little C made a noise in the opposite bunk, she would immediately steal a glance, clearly harboring something. In the middle, taking advantage of Little C wandering around other carriages, I jumped down from the middle bunk and sat next to my wife, whispering in her ear, "What were you thinking about just now?" My wife pretended not to understand and said, "What are you thinking about? I'm reading." I said, "Don't lie to me, let me check." I then reached into her pants, and she hit me with a magazine, saying, "Stop it! There are so many people on the train, what are you doing?" Looking at her face, it was flushed red with embarrassment. The train arrived in Guiyang in the morning. The itinerary was tight; we'd spend a day in Guiyang before heading to Guangzhou that evening. I was very familiar with Guiyang, having been there several times for business. So, when the train arrived, I said to my wife and Xiao C, "You two go with the tour group. I don't want to get off. I've been too tired these past few days; a day of rest is good." Xiao C readily agreed, "Don't worry about leaving your sister in my care; I'm a natural protector of flowers." My wife awkwardly said to me, "Since we're here, let's go sightseeing together." I secretly winked at my wife, "I've been to this place many times; there's nothing much to do. You two go ahead." There were two reasons why I didn't want to get off. First, I genuinely didn't want to revisit a place I was already very familiar with. Secondly, and most importantly, I wanted to give them some time alone. Watching my wife and Xiao C walk side-by-side away on the platform through the train window, watching Xiao C gesturing and talking to my wife, I felt a deep sense of peace and sweetness, without a trace of jealousy. It felt like a father watching his grown-up daughter happily go on a date with her lover. This feeling is very natural when you consider your wife's happiness and joy the most important thing in your life. Of course, there's an even more important reason for this mindset: complete confidence in myself, my wife, and our marriage.

(17) In the afternoon, the two returned to the bus with the group. It was clear they had a great time, bringing me back a lot of food. The three of us sat around the tea table to eat dinner. Little C sat opposite me, recounting the day's events and some interesting anecdotes, including witnessing the police arrest a drug dealer on the street. My wife sat next to me, not in a hurry to eat, but holding my arm and resting her head on my shoulder. I could feel her loving gaze fixed on Little C. Little C, however, remained carefree and cheerful. The train journey ahead was long. Because our tour train was a temporary operation, there was no fixed schedule, and sometimes it would stop for several hours at a small, well-known station. When bored, the three of us played cards to pass the time. By this time, Little C had become completely like family to us, constantly calling us "brother," "elder brother," "older sister," and "beautiful lady," often making my wife laugh uncontrollably. Finally, on a sunny morning, the train arrived in Guangzhou as planned. Little C proudly told us, "This is my second hometown. We don't need a tour guide here; I'm the perfect one." At this time of year, most of southern China is hot, and Guangzhou is no exception, though the mornings are still pleasant. After getting off the train with the tour group, we went to the accommodations arranged by the travel agency—a very nice three-star hotel. After settling in, the three of us broke away from the group and went out to explore on our own. Little C, with his experience, said, "Most of the tourist spots arranged by the tour group are shopping destinations; they're not fun." So, led by Little C, we happily wandered around. At one point, I took a moment to say to my wife, "I'm going to a classmate's house tonight. It's up to you now." My wife feigned surprise and reluctance, saying, "Are you serious? Are you crazy?" I patted her cheek and said, "Don't be nervous. Just do what you want. If you don't feel comfortable, stop. Just go with the flow." My wife blushed and said, "We'll see." Around 4 PM, we got tired of shopping and decided to go back to the hotel. After eating at the restaurant on the first floor… Back in my room, I called a college classmate who lived in Guangzhou. Hearing my voice, he thought I was at home. I said, "Hey kid, I'm in Guangzhou." He excitedly exclaimed on the other end of the line, "Oh my god, where are you? I'll come pick you up right away!" So we agreed to meet near my hotel an hour later. Meanwhile, my wife was fidgeting nervously. She kept asking me, "Can you stop messing around?" I hugged her and said, "Honey, really, don't be nervous. If you feel awkward or unhappy, just don't do anything. I'll tell him to come over and keep you company, but I won't give him any real instructions to avoid embarrassment. The rest is up to you two. I'll be back tomorrow morning." Before leaving, my wife hugged me from behind, dragging me towards the door, muttering, "Honey, don't go, let's stop playing around, okay?" At the door, I turned around, hugged her, and gently kissed her, saying, "Sweetie, don't be afraid, your husband will always be there for you. Like I said, if you're unhappy, don't force yourself. My phone's always on; you can call me anytime." After saying that, I left the room and went to Xiao C's place. Xiao C was fiddling with the TV. I said to him, "I'm going to meet an old classmate I haven't seen in years tonight. When you're free, go keep your sister company so she won't be bored. Also, don't forget to massage her shoulders; they always hurt after walking too much." Xiao C He said, "Boss, it's not a female classmate, is it?" I kicked him, and he sneered.
(18) My classmate from Guangzhou, who was my roommate in college, is from a small city in the north. He hooked up with a well-connected girl from Guangzhou while we were in college, and we were both assigned to Guangzhou after graduation. We hadn't seen each other since graduation, but we kept in touch by phone. When we finally met, this guy, with the typical hearty and straightforward manner of a northern man, ran over to me with a big shout, hugged me tightly, and spun me around a few times. He asked me, "Are you in Guangzhou on business or personal?" I didn't mention that I was traveling with my wife, otherwise he would definitely have invited her. I said, "Just some business, but it's all done. I was planning to go back tonight, but I wanted to see you, so I changed my plans to leave tomorrow. You have to take me in tonight, otherwise I'll be homeless." My classmate said, "No problem, I can give you my whole house to live in." I said, "It would be best if you left your wife too." My classmate punched me hard and said, "Still the same shameless face you had back then." Sitting in the car, I asked my classmate, "Where are we going now?" My classmate said, "Nowhere, just home. I called your aunt, she and the housekeeper are preparing dinner at home." -- Haha, he called his wife my aunt. We've been joking like this since we were in school. Back in our university days, dating was a secretive thing, something we could only do in the dorm. Every time he brought his girlfriend back to the dorm, he would say, "Kids, your aunt is here, get out of the way!" So, cursing under their breath, we reluctantly slipped out of the dorm. That night, the two of us drank over a pound of strong liquor, reminiscing about our student days and sighing as we talked about our work frustrations, occasionally muttering, "Fuck it all..." It seems like people are never truly satisfied. Take my classmate, for example. If he hadn't hooked up with someone powerful, he might still be a lowly township official in some unknown town, or worse, eating chalk dust in some cramped school. Looking at him now, his career is thriving, his father-in-law, though retired, has already arranged everything for him, and he even has a maid who silently endures their exploitation. After drinking a certain amount of alcohol, we started drinking tea, chatting about everything under the sun, the conversation seemingly endless. At one point, I missed my wife and called her. I asked, "How are you?" She didn't answer directly, only saying, "Honey, drink less, and come home early tomorrow." I said, "Don't worry, I'm fine. Cheer up, I love you." My classmate thought I was calling home and tried to grab my phone, saying, "Let me say a few words to my nephew's wife." I quickly hung up. My classmate scoffed, "Damn, your kid's all grown up, what are you pretending to be young for? 'I love you,' how cheesy." I spat at him and said, "You don't know anything." That night, my classmate and I chatted until after 1 a.m. His wife came into the living room twice, mockingly saying, "Hmm, not bad, finally found someone to brag to. You two better not stop." My classmate said, "Damn, I haven't been this happy in years." The next morning, my classmate thought I was really leaving Guangzhou and insisted on taking me to the airport. I said, "Don't worry about me, I'll just wander around and buy some things for my wife and kids. The airport bus is convenient, I can leave anytime." So, my classmate went to work, and we parted ways. I took a taxi back to the hotel. On the way, I called my wife to tell her I was back. I opened the door with my room card and went into the room. My wife hadn't gotten up yet, lying on her side with a towel covering her face inwards. I knew she was pretending to be asleep. I went over and lay down beside her, patting her gently. "Did you have a long night? You must be exhausted." My wife turned and hugged me, burying her face in my chest, playfully punching me with her little fists, muttering, "You're so mean, so mean, so mean..." I turned her face away, yanked off the towel covering her, and said, "I need to check on my husband, Belle, to see if any parts are missing." My wife laughed, got up, and ran into the bathroom. While she was showering, I glanced around the room; both beds were a mess. It seemed they had had a very passionate night. Perhaps because I had drunk too much last night, my head was still slightly dizzy, and I couldn't make sense of it all. I randomly turned on the TV and randomly picked a channel. A little while later, my wife came out of the shower, wrapped in a towel, jumped onto the bed, and hugged me. I asked her, "Honey, did you have fun last night?" My wife thought for a moment and said, "Honey, you won't blame me, will you?" I hugged her and said, "Of course not, silly girl." My wife said, "He was really amazing. He basically kept me going all night, doing it five times. I felt like we were back in the early days of our marriage. My back is still sore." I said, "Let's not go out today. You should rest for a day." My wife looked into my eyes and said from the bottom of her heart, "Honey, thank you for everything." I asked her, "When did he leave?" My wife said, "He went back around 5 a.m., afraid you'd see him when you came back. Before he left, he kept asking me, 'Am I being too unfair to my brother?'" I asked my wife, "You didn't tell him I agreed to it, did you?" My wife said, "How could I tell him? Besides, he wouldn't believe me anyway, and it might even scare him." So, I hugged my wife and slept until a little after 11 a.m., then we got up, washed our faces, and went out for lunch together. We knocked on Xiao C's door, but there was no response after a while. Thinking he wasn't in the room, my wife and I were about to turn away when the door opened. Xiao C stood there with red eyes, clearly still half asleep. He looked at me, startled. Afraid of embarrassing him, I didn't look directly at him. As I walked into the room, I teased him, "Kid, what mischief did you get up to last night? You're so sleepy!" Xiao C stammered, unsure what to say. My wife quickly chimed in, saying, "Hurry up and wash your face, let's go downstairs for lunch." Xiao C, as if granted a pardon, agreed and quickly ran into the bathroom. My wife nudged me and whispered, "You're so naughty." At the lunch table, Xiao C's expression was very unnatural, his eyes constantly darting away from me. Seeing this, I got mischievous again and said to him, "Kid, judging from my old-timer's perspective, you must have done something bad last night. Are you going to confess willingly, or wait for me to interrogate you?" Little C chuckled awkwardly and didn't say anything. My wife smoothed things over, saying to him, "Don't mind your brother, just eat." I continued, "Hmm, I'll remind the others later if anyone's lost their wallets. I bet you were a pickpocket last night." This made both my wife and Little C laugh. The atmosphere returned to normal. After lunch, because it was too hot, none of the three of us wanted to go out, so we went back to our room to play cards. The afternoon passed in this cheerful atmosphere. We stayed another night in Guangzhou. The travel agency's plan was to take the Guangzhou-Shenzhen high-speed train to Shenzhen the next day. The tourist train we had taken here was waiting for us in Guangzhou. That night, as we were going to bed, my wife told me in detail what had happened: Shortly after I left, Little C came to our room. At first, they chatted casually, and then the two of them played cards for a while. Later, Xiao C said, "My older brother told me to massage your shoulders before he left." So, his wife obediently lay down on the bed, and Xiao C began massaging her shoulders and legs. The atmosphere grew increasingly intimate, and his wife asked Xiao C, "What kind of girlfriend do you want in the future?" Xiao C said, "I have a girlfriend now, but I just can't seem to find the right feeling, and it's unlikely we'll end up together after graduation." His wife asked, "What kind do you want?" Xiao C said, "I wish I could meet someone like you, sister." His wife said, "Don't worry about that. You're very cute and excellent. You'll definitely meet a girl much better than your sister in the future. Your sister is too old, she's too old." --A normal man in this situation would definitely know what to do next, and so, everything happened naturally... The next day, on the streets of Shenzhen, his wife, as if deliberately being mischievous, clung to Xiao C's arm, and Xiao C looked at me nervously. The scene reminded me of the big bad wolf hugging the little white rabbit -- except, the big bad wolf wasn't him, but his wife. I deliberately said to my wife, "Go ahead and torment children." My wife proudly replied, "I'd love to. He's my brother; nobody can stop me." After a day in Shenzhen, we returned to Guangzhou and took a bus back overnight. Little C went straight back to school. When we parted, my wife cried her eyes out, making Little C...Tears welled in her eyes as we gave him both our phone numbers and told him to contact us anytime if he needed anything. His home was very close to our city, so we told him he could visit during his holidays and we'd be his tour guide. On the train back, my wife sat alone on her berth, lost in thought. After a long while, she said to me, "Honey, everything from the past seems like a dream now." I asked, "A nightmare or a beautiful dream?" My wife said, "I can't say for sure, but it's definitely not a nightmare." I thought for a moment and said, "Isn't life itself a kind of dream? Like the story of Zhuangzi dreaming of being a butterfly: being a butterfly is a human's dream, but who can say for sure that being a human is also just a butterfly's dream?" My wife didn't speak, just silently leaned against me. I patted my wife on the shoulder and said, "Honey, I know you miss him. It's okay, you'll have plenty of opportunities to see him in the future." My wife said, "Actually, I don't really miss him as a person, but I keep thinking about what happened these past few days. Even if I see him again, who knows if I'll still feel this way?" I said, "Don't worry, just accept things as they come and let them go. Take it one step at a time. Don't worry, I'm here for you." After returning home and resting for two days, we spent those two days together in our own little world. After this trip, I found that my wife was even more dependent on me. As soon as I left her side for a moment, she would immediately call out, "Honey, what are you doing?" Two days later, we went back to work, and life returned to normal.

(19) In the following days, Xiao C kept in touch with his wife. They often exchanged text messages, some sweet and some ambiguous. When my wife and I were at home, we left our phones lying around, but I never looked through her phone, and she had no need to look through mine. Sometimes, while showing me the text messages Xiao C sent expressing his longing for her, my wife would ask me worriedly, "Do you think we're ruining this child?" I said, "Don't worry about that. It's normal for him to be passionate. However, you need to guide him properly and not let him get too deeply involved, otherwise you'll really ruin him." When they were on the phone, if I happened to be home, my wife would sometimes say to him, "Your brother is home, why don't you say a few words to him?" On the phone, Xiao C would still be in a cheerful tone, saying, "Boss, you didn't bully my sister, did you?" I said, "How could I? Do you think your sister is easy to deal with? It's good enough that she didn't bully me." Then I heard him chuckle foolishly on the other end of the phone. Occasionally, my wife would misbehave. In front of me, she'd wink and say on the phone, "Your brother's not home, tell me quickly, have you missed me?" Then she'd make kissing sounds into the phone. I imagine Little C was going crazy with excitement on the other end. A few months passed, and Little C was about to go on winter break. One day, my wife came home from get off work and said, "Honey, Little C texted me saying he's transferring here and wants to see me alone, but he doesn't want you to know. What should I do? Should I refuse him?" I told my wife, "It's okay, it's all up to you. If you miss him, stay overnight, but don't go to a hotel, it's not safe. Let's go home. I'm going to my parents' house, which will be good for spending time with our daughter. You can tell Little C I'm on a business trip." My wife immediately jumped up and down excitedly, hugging my neck. Then... He arrived in our city early in the morning, on a weekend. Since my wife had already told him I wasn't home, he called her from the train around 5 a.m. I lay drowsily beside her, listening to their intimate conversation on the phone. I reached out and touched my wife's private parts; they were already overflowing with desire. I crawled under her, parted her legs, and caressed her with my tongue. My wife was excited, but had to speak in a normal tone. She could only alternately hook her legs around my body. After caressing her like this for a while, I returned behind my wife, guided my incredibly erect penis, and gently entered her from behind, slowly thrusting in and out, not too quickly so that my penis wouldn't hear her panting. My wife put the phone to her ear and under her head, freeing her hand to tightly grip my arm. Perhaps due to excessive excitement, I soon ejaculated. Xiao C's train arrived at 7:00 AM. My wife promised to pick him up at the station. I drove her there, bought her a platform ticket, and explained some safety details. (Actually, there wasn't much to explain. My wife uses an IUD, and with a sunny boy like Xiao C, there was no need to worry about health issues; they didn't use a condom the first time.) I planned everything for my wife: after picking up Xiao C, they would have a simple breakfast at a small restaurant, then go grocery shopping together. If Xiao C hadn't rested well on the train, he could sleep at home, then they could cook together and enjoy a nice day together. He would stay at my house that night, and I would take him to his train home the next morning. Watching my wife walk into the station, looking back several times, I turned and went back to my parents' house. My daughter was still angry when she saw me. She usually lives with her grandparents, partly because she's used to living with them since childhood, and partly because it's close to her school. So, she could only come back to my wife and me on weekends. But this weekend, I didn't let her come home, which made her very angry. I said to my daughter, "Sweetie, don't be angry. Mommy has something to do, Daddy will stay with you. Where do you want to go today? I'll do whatever you want." My daughter's anger turned to joy, and she started making specific requests. Actually, children's requests are very simple, nothing more than KFC, McDonald's, and maybe a trip to the children's playground to play those games that seem like they never get tired of. Sitting on a park bench, I drank my beverage and watched my daughter laughing happily on the carousel. I started to think about these two most important women in my life. My daughter, with me by her side, was very happy at this moment; my wife, with my arrangements, was equally happy at this moment. Children have their way of playing, and adults have theirs. In fact, to some extent, aren't all loving couples, in each other's eyes, also children? I'm not saying this to imply that we treat Xiao C as a tool to play with. From the beginning until now, my wife and I have always treated Xiao C with great respect. Of course, this respect is based on mutual respect. Our decision to withhold part of the truth from C was not out of deception, but entirely out of goodwill. He might not yet understand or accept this unconventional approach. I think that perhaps one day in the future, after ensuring he fully understands these things, we will tell him the truth.

(20) Around noon, my wife called and asked, "What are you doing right now?" I said, "I'm with a woman." My wife said, "Are you tired of living?" I said, "Are you even reasonable? You can set the whole mountain on fire, but I can't even light a candle?" My wife said, "Seriously, don't just think about yourself, take your daughter out to play when you have time." I said, "Pah, you still remember your daughter? Don't worry, I'm taking her to the amusement park." My wife said, "You old geezer, you call such a little kid a 'woman,' you're worse than an animal." I said, "Stop joking, how's it going between you two?" My wife said, "He's sleeping, he's been on the train for a day and a night, he's exhausted." I said, "It's not just because of the train ride, is it? You two didn't do anything else?" My wife retorted, "What do you think?" I said, "They must be burning with passion and can't wait any longer." My wife deliberately teased me, "I know that, why do you still ask? You're obviously an idiot." I said to my wife seriously, "I'm not going to argue with you anymore. If you two are bored at home, you can take him for a walk, but remember, whatever you do, don't walk arm in arm in our neighborhood, or we're both doomed." My wife said, "I know what to do. You're even more nagging than my dad." I said, "That's so true. I am your spiritual father." My wife said, "Honey, I miss you. What should I do?" I said, "You're never satisfied, are you? Always wanting more than you have." My wife said, "It's not my fault, you spoil me..." That evening, after returning to my parents' house and having dinner, my daughter, exhausted from a long day, went to bed early. I chatted with my parents for a while. Then I went to the balcony and called home, but no one answered. I called my wife's cell phone again. The line was noisy; it turned out she and Xiao C were out having barbecue. I could tell she'd been drinking. My wife, being cunning, didn't forget to ask me, feigning concern, in front of Xiao C, "Honey, are you coming home on time tomorrow?" I whispered, "What do you mean? Haven't you had enough fun yet?" My wife said, "I miss you. Come home soon." I said, "Don't stay out too late. Come home early." My wife readily agreed. The next day at noon, after a reluctant farewell to my daughter, I returned home. The house was spotless. My wife was watching TV on the sofa. When she saw me come in, she rushed over and hugged me, saying, "You're so cute! You're so adorable!" "∑拮踊祈档厮担骸覆豢赡苌伲，蛔蓟苟喑隼匆桓瞿亍！埂∥宜担骸副鹣盼遥，嬉腔吃辛艘彩悄悄阍庾铩！埂∷低晡易谏撤⑸希，笞牌拮拥谋亲尿担骸赶蛭一惚ㄒ幌掠桑，蛱于几墒裁椿凳铝耍俊埂∑拮尿担骸副鹛崃耍，右幌禄鸪敌，开始手足不定定，不能挡不住……" It turned out that after the wife picked up Xiao C from the train, she suggested going to have breakfast, but Xiao C said he had already eaten in the dining car, so the two went straight home. Upon entering the house, before even washing their faces, they began passionately kissing and caressing. At his wife's insistence, they took a quick shower, and before they were even dry, they made love in the bathroom. Then, back in bed, they did it a second time. Afterwards, they lay chatting, and before they knew it, C had fallen asleep. During this time, my wife called me. C didn't wake up until almost dark, and the two of them went to a barbecue restaurant, ate barbecue, and drank a lot of alcohol. Back home, it was basically another sleepless night. At this point, my wife went to the computer desk, took out a CD, and said mysteriously, "Want to see it?" I asked in surprise, "You recorded it?" My wife said, "Yes, I recorded part of it last night, but let's make it clear first, you can't laugh at me after watching it." I said, "What did C say about recording this?" My wife said, "He was very worried about you finding out. He kept reminding me before he left, and I told him not to worry, I'd hide it well." I took the CD, turned on the computer, inserted the disc, and a series of arousing scenes appeared. This feeling was incomparable to any pornographic film, because the female lead in it was my beloved. Just then, my wife quietly came over, knelt between my legs, and unzipped my pants. I stopped her, saying, "Don't be naughty, I haven't washed yet." My wife said, "I don't care, I don't mind." Then, resolutely, she took my penis into her mouth… Soon after, the intense stimulation made me ejaculate in my wife's mouth. Afterwards, lying in bed, my wife nestled against me like a little bird. Perhaps because she was too tired from the night before, she soon fell into a deep sleep. Looking at my wife's unguarded, quiet face, a tenderness rose from the bottom of my heart. At that moment, I truly felt: the woman in my arms was a part of my body.

(21) Life as described in words is a condensation of life, but real life is far more mundane than what is condensed into words. This matter passed just like that, and my wife and I returned to our peaceful, flowing lives. Afterwards, my wife and I would occasionally bring up that incident. But not about any specific detail of the process, but rather our psychological exchange about it. Initially, my wife was vaguely worried, afraid of causing me any harm. However, this worry soon dissipated. I would occasionally take out that DVD to watch, but only when my wife wasn't home. I was also afraid that watching such things in front of her would put unnecessary pressure on her. Men who have been married for a long time often have this feeling: women, in many ways, are more like small animals. When she's obedient, she seems to melt your heart, but when she's unreasonable, she often makes you so angry you want to gag her, tie her up, and throw her into a corner you can't see. However, if you treat her well, this little animal will wag her tail and prance you most of the time. However, one cannot always maintain absolute tolerance and rationality. For example, a man might be overwhelmed by work during the day, and when he gets home, he inevitably has to figure out how to deal with a scolding from his boss the next day. At this time, you might be in a low mood and not in the mood to joke around with her. Then, the problem arises: she can connect everything to her imagination, and the worst part is that whatever she thinks of, she starts to take it seriously and talk nonsense, such as: "Who are you trying to fool with that face? Is it because I gave my mom too much money last month, so you're upset?" There are even more outrageous things: "Last night, I just mentioned that my mom should come to our house, and look at you now, when you're old, your daughter will kick you out of the house too." Once, I got a severe dressing-down from my lousy boss during the day. He yelled at me for no reason, because the mistake had nothing to do with me; the root of the problem lay with his incompetent orders. But rank talks, and he pointed at me in front of everyone, launching into a long, scathing speech, spitting all over my face. My head was spinning, and I yelled back, "You son of a bitch! Don't talk back to me! Tomorrow I'm going to the provincial government and I'll fight you to the death! You shameless thing, don't ever point at me again, or I'll chop off your paws and use them as a snack!" This enraged my unprepared boss, who plopped down in his chair. I turned and slammed the door shut, but because the window was open, the suction was too strong, and the glass shattered with a crash. This made things even worse; people from other offices came out to see what was going on. I stormed out of the office, my face cold, and went home. On the way, a colleague called my cell phone. Still furious, I didn't hesitate to rip the battery out and throw it onto the back seat of my car. Back home, my mind was filled with this terrible incident. As I gradually calmed down, I started to feel a chill, because my boss was known for his arrogance. I thought: This time, I'm completely ruined. At first, my wife didn't notice my change in mood. After dinner, I sat alone in the living room, lost in thought. My wife finished washing the dishes and went to take a shower. When she came out, she squeezed onto the sofa, stretched her legs out onto mine, and said, "Trim my toenails." (It's been a habit for years; I've always trimmed my wife's fingernails and toenails.) I looked at her toenails; they weren't long. I said to her, "Didn't we just trim them a couple of days ago? They're not long now, why trim them?" My wife said, "Who said it wouldn't last? The workload is unbearable! I'm so angry! I'm going to be so angry! I'm going to be so angry! I'm going to be so angry! This is it, I'm completely finished. I can't do anything else all night but try to appease her." I bowed, knelt, kowtowed, and even slapped myself a few times (it didn't hurt much). She still wouldn't let it go. In a fit of anger, I put on my clothes and stormed out. Then my wife called my parents and told my dad, "Dad, your son went out with a rope, saying he's going to commit suicide." My poor parents took a taxi to our house in the middle of the night, forcing me to perform the bowing ritual again and swear that I would never bully her again. Only then did my parents leave reassured. My parents left, and my wife, looking smug, said, "You little brat, you didn't die, huh?" I ignored her and went to sleep in the small bedroom. She, too, seemed quite determined, ignoring me all night. The next day, I went to work nervously, prepared to give up and fight to the bitter end. Shortly after work started, my boss's secretary came to my office and said, "The boss wants to see you." I secretly asked him, "What does he mean? Is he trying to get me?" The secretary quickly waved his hand, "Don't ask me, you can't guess what the boss means." I cursed, "Look at you, you're a complete scoundrel." Then I went to the boss's office. Things weren't as bad as I expected. The bastard saw me come in and pointed to the sofa, "Sit down and let's talk." I obediently sat down, but crossed my legs, deliberately acting nonchalant. My boss's next words surprised me: "You really made me furious yesterday. You're just like me back in the day, with that same awful temper." -- Only a fool wouldn't realize he was trying to make amends. After this incident, the more I thought about it, the more I felt it wasn't worth it. There was nothing wrong at work, but my family was in complete chaos. Sometimes, when I'm at work, all high and mighty, I often think: Damn it, if these guys knew I was treated like a little slave at home, I wonder how they'd feel. Later, to avoid unnecessary trouble, I never dared to bring my bad mood from work home. Actually, as a responsible man, I really shouldn't bring my negative work emotions home. It doesn't solve any real problems; it just distracts my family. My job is different from my wife's. She can tell me about her trivial matters and ask me for advice, but she doesn't understand my job at all, and telling her would only make things worse.

(22) Ever since I accidentally threw my wife off the sofa, she's complained to me many times, pouting, "You old man, always saying you're my dad, what kind of dad hits his daughter?" I could only explain again and again, "Honey, it wasn't hitting, and I didn't mean to." My wife and I have a lot of rational communication, but if only rationality remains between husband and wife, that's not a good thing. For example, my wife often displays unreasonable behavior. Later, I realized that many of her unreasonable behaviors were sometimes just deliberate coquetry, but other times, they stemmed from inexplicable frustration. This is perfectly normal; for example, as the advertisement says, "there are always a few days every month," women experience inexplicable irritability during their menstrual cycle. At this time, reasoning with her is useless; you can only appease her without principle. Also, work-related frustrations are sometimes inexplicable. She can only vent to her closest people; in this situation, you can't and don't need to reason with her, you can only appease her. Some say that behind every successful man is a great woman. I think that behind every lovely woman, there should also be a man who knows how to love. I have a major weakness, though in some ways it might not be considered a weakness: I can't bear to see women cry, whether it's my wife or anyone else. Whenever I see a woman cry, I feel an urge to cry along with her. I always feel that women are born to be cherished and loved by men. There are no unbeautiful women in this world; what's lacking is men's ability to appreciate and discover beauty. When I told my wife these thoughts, she unreasonably said, "I'm touched by how you treat me, but if you treat other women like this, I think you're shameless." When my wife was pregnant, she asked me many times, "Do you hope it's a boy or a girl?" I answered without hesitation, "I hope it's a girl, but a boy is fine too." However, my wife preferred a boy and suspected I wasn't telling the truth. Several months into the pregnancy, at my wife's insistence, we decided to go to the hospital to find out the baby's gender. Back then, ultrasounds to determine a baby's sex weren't as strictly prohibited as they are now. The female doctor who performed the ultrasound was an acquaintance of mine. After the examination, she said to us with a hint of regret, "It looks like a girl, but I'm not sure yet." Hearing this, I jumped up excitedly and said, "Take another look, is it really a girl?" The doctor looked at me with a puzzled expression and said, "That's rare. You're hoping for a daughter?" I said, "Of course, but not a girl, but a princess." Only then did the doctor say definitively, "No need for further examination, it's definitely a girl." On the way home from the hospital, my wife said to me, "Now I believe you truly meant it when you said you hoped I would have a girl..." Now, I am fulfilling that promise, both to my wife and daughter. Perhaps I haven't done enough, but I will not give up trying. Marriage is not a one-person show. When one partner makes a mistake, the other must calmly look for the cause within themselves first. There is no love without a reason, nor is there hatred without a reason. Everything happens for a reason. For example, a husband will naturally feel anger when he discovers his wife has cheated on him. However, in the midst of anger, he must not forget to reflect on his actions. If his wife didn't love him, she wouldn't have married him in the first place. Even if she has temporarily given her love to someone else, if you still love yourself, you can't help but feel sorry for her. You can't let her love you go unrequited. You can't let her love you unconditionally ... A song goes, "No rainbow without rain, no success without hardship." Husbands and wives are the closest people in the world. In decades of marriage, each partner inevitably makes mistakes, such as infidelity. However, if handled properly, these painful experiences can be transformed into valuable assets. Tolstoy said, "Suffering is the teacher of life." This teacher may be unconventional and difficult for us to accept, but it is precisely because of this that it is all the more worthwhile to try. The opening paragraph of Marguerite Duras's *The Lover* has always deeply moved me, and I quote it here: "I am getting old, and one day, in the lobby of a public place, a man approached me. After introducing himself, he said to me, 'I have always known you. Everyone says you were very beautiful when you were young, but I want to tell you that, in my opinion, you are more beautiful now than when you were young. Your former girlish face is far less appealing to me than your ruined face today.'" --When you truly understand the meaning of these words, you will be filled with confidence to walk hand in hand with your beloved wife through life. There's a painting I love in my bedroom: an elderly couple, frail and elderly, walking hand in hand along a tree-lined path strewn with fallen leaves. I think there's no more beautiful scenery in the world. Now, let's continue the story about Xiao C.

(Twenty-three) During winter break, Xiao C would often send his wife text messages, mostly just general greetings. However, if she replied with something even slightly ambiguous, he would immediately become passionate again. The two would occasionally exchange sweet nothings on the phone, and sometimes his wife would say things I'd never even heard before. Once, I asked my wife, "What kind of feelings do you have for Xiao C?" She said, "I can't really explain it. Sometimes, the longing for him is very intense. When I'm with him, I feel like I'm so much younger." I was a little jealous and said, "You haven't really fallen in love with him, have you?" My wife said honestly, "Yes, I have. But this feeling is completely different from the feeling I have for you. I think it's all based on my love for you. Without you, all of this would just be a dream. Without you, I wouldn't have such deep feelings for him, and nothing would have happened." After saying that, my wife looked at me anxiously and said, "Honey, do you think I'm a bad woman?" I said, "Yes, you are definitely a bad woman, at least not a good woman in the traditional sense. But I never intended for you to be a good woman." My wife punched me, "It's all your fault for spoiling me, you old hag..." I hugged my wife and said, "Honey, we're not going to be good women. Let others be good women. We'll just be happy bad women." One evening, I was lying in bed reading while my wife was watching a movie on the computer in the study. Suddenly, she ran into the bedroom, sobbing uncontrollably. Her tear-streaked face startled me, and I quickly asked, "What's wrong?" She nestled in my arms, not saying a word, but crying even harder. I turned her face to me and asked, "What's wrong? Speak up, you're making me so anxious." My wife choked back tears and said, "Honey, what if I can't find you in the next life?" I breathed a sigh of relief and said, "This life isn't over yet, why are you worrying about the next life? Don't be silly." My wife cried and said, "No, you'll still be mine in the next life." I quickly said, "Okay, okay, no problem, I promise you, I'll still be yours in the next life." My wife continued, "Then, when we cross the Bridge of Helplessness, you're not allowed to drink that old woman's Meng Po soup." I couldn't help but laugh, "Hey, I'm telling you, are you kidding me? You're over thirty, how can you still believe in that stuff?" My wife said defiantly, "I don't care, you're not allowed to drink Meng Po soup." I said, "Don't worry, you know I've never liked soup. When I'm about to die, just let me have a big feast of fish and meat, and bring me two braised pork knuckles." My wife said, "No, I want to die before you, otherwise no one will take care of me." I said, "Oh, so you're really going to leave me all alone?" My wife thought for a moment and said, "Then let's die together, hand in hand across the Naihe Bridge. You help me throw that heartless Meng Po off the bridge..." I asked my wife curiously, "What movie did you watch that made you cry so much?" My wife said, "It was 'My Left Eye Sees Ghosts,' starring Lau Ching-wan. It was so touching. The soul of a husband who died in an accident refused to cross the Naihe Bridge until he found a man who could take good care of his wife and arranged everything for her, only then did he drink the Meng Po soup." Later, I watched the movie when I had some free time, and it was indeed a very touching Chinese version of "Ghost," even better than "Meteor Shower" from back then. I recommend that couples who haven't seen this movie should find it and watch it if they have the chance.
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A true story (good article, reposted)

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