Five compelling reasons why wives should participate in couples' online dating (reprinted)

If you are a woman, if you believe that you will spend your life in a forest of men and cannot wholeheartedly love only one tree, if you still cherish your family and do not want to break up your existing life, then you can really try couples dating.

This is not instigation, but personal experience. I have five reasons to support this.

1. The desire for infidelity.
Marriage is too long, love too short. No matter how passionate and deeply ingrained the initial love was, the long years of married life will wear down the passion. You'll fall into the routine of marriage; you can't live without that person, but having that person doesn't guarantee a consistently exciting sex life, or even the unsettling, intense emotions. Actually, you need other men, different men, like different bonfires, burning at different points in your life, giving you ample passion and warmth. You are a pool of water beside that bonfire; you need the evaporating power, the warmth of life… making you realize that life isn't a straight river flowing downstream, without even a bend in the road, just rushing straight to the end.

Who would want that kind of life? I wouldn't. When I look back on my life, I feel it's a bountiful autumn, the heavy fruits making me truly feel their weight, as if they stretch endlessly into the distance. Like a story, it can never be finished, always with different climaxes and ups and downs.

2. The inevitability of cheating with peace of mind and safety.
Cheating shouldn't pose a risk to your marriage; otherwise, it's not worth it. Marriage is the most stable river in a woman's life. Don't try to jump out of this river in every relationship, because the fleeting warmth many men offer isn't enough to sustain you. He might just be a small pond; if you bravely jump in, you might just end up crashing into hard concrete. Therefore, cheat with peace of mind, cheat without loss, like a brief pause in life's journey, picking up a splash of spring's vibrancy and carrying a handful of autumn's brilliance. This "cheating" is just a small pause, a small detour, and then, filled with joy, you return to your main path.

There is no other way to allow you to cheat while ensuring your infidelity is safe, secure, and risk-free. Only through spousal friendships. Because your actions are permitted, even encouraged and shared, rather than restricted, prohibited, or abandoned. Just like me, sheltered under the umbrella of marriage, or anchored in the harbor of marriage, I look around, occasionally venturing out, but always remembering the direction of home and the warm, unchanging light.

3. The inevitability of infidelity when sharing happiness.
Other types of infidelity all harbor the hidden danger of marital and family breakdown after exposure, leaving one unable to control the future and with immeasurable costs. But women, if you participate in marital relationships, then infidelity becomes a form of shared pleasure. From the moment you begin seeking romantic encounters, whether you're with married couples or singles, you and your husband will have many more topics to discuss—guessing, planning, anticipating, even fantasizing… The pleasure is shared discreetly, not something you hide away, something to be ashamed of.

You'll feel that the love you receive is infinitely expanded. Originally, your husband's love was 10 parts, now it's 20 parts, because of his magnanimity, his indulgence, his encouragement, his trust, and his meticulous, intimate conversations. The bond between you has grown considerably... And at this time, you also receive the care, concern, allure, and passion of another man. Your happiness will increase by another 20 parts.

A purely clandestine affair might offer 20 units of pleasure and excitement, but the risk and pain of a broken marriage could wipe out all 20 units, leaving a lifetime of negative pain. I'm unwilling to take the risk, unwilling to lose, and unwilling to bear the emotional debt. What about you?

4. The necessity of having complete control.

The power of emotions is terrifying. Irrational people may destroy their existing lives under the influence of a momentary emotional impulse. Especially the common stories of families being torn apart and lives ruined by covert infidelity are constantly unfolding around us.

How could we risk losing our harmonious and peaceful family for a moment's pleasure? Therefore, secretive and deceptive infidelity or extramarital affairs are not worth it. Women, if you want to enjoy life safely and securely, within your own control, the only way is to participate in marital friendships. Perhaps women are too emotional, and their emotional self-control may be temporarily lost. But rest assured, your husband will keep things in check, and your partner will help you manage things from both sides' perspectives, ensuring that while things may be exciting, they won't become chaotic. It will allow you to immerse yourself in a sudden, unexpected relationship, yet it will also have enough pull to bring you back to your original life, leaving you with a heart full of gratitude for life, your husband, and the world, because you are being inspired by a profound love.

You enjoyed physical and mental pleasure without betraying your love and family. You remain noble and unique, and you do not need to bear any moral condemnation because your physical and mental freedom has not affected your lack of social responsibility. Your attitude is one of returning to your family, not turning away from it.

5. A path to enhance self-awareness and learning.
No life experience is without reason, nor is it without gain or reflection.

A woman who, with maximum understanding and support, gains extramarital affection and sex, enriching her otherwise meager life, will not be a wooden woman. She will not be indifferent to these seemingly reckless things. She will definitely think more deeply and carefully learn from these experiences. She will learn from each man's choices when faced with the clash between emotion and reason, learn from their trade-offs and considerations in life, learn from their different ways of showing passion and love, and learn from their excellent and compassionate qualities.

Take me for example. I've always been selfish. No matter how much I change each time, I eventually come to my senses. I'll lie in my husband's arms, reflecting on my pettiness and greed, begging for his forgiveness, asking for more time to slowly correct myself, or I'll just act spoiled and plead for him to forgive my flaws...

Perhaps because of my personality, I will never be able to do my best here, but I will try my best to make up for it in other aspects. Love requires seeing and giving. Sometimes, the word "return" is not wrong. As long as you give, the other person will see it, feel it, and will give back in the same way. In this way, everyone can grow and bond together in the marriage. How wonderful is that?

So, what do you think about participating in an extramarital affair together, treating your spouse and the person you love openly and honestly, just like a couple would be? It's a perfect and blissful experience.

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Five compelling reasons why wives should participate in couples' online dating (reprinted)

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